


100 Percent

by RecyclableTrash



Category: Free!
Genre: AU where everything's the same except Rin didn't go back to Australia, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, College, M/M, Post-Canon, Roommates, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 07:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 168,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2540174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecyclableTrash/pseuds/RecyclableTrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At nineteen years old, Rin is confident that he’s finally got his life on track. He’s closer than ever to achieving his dream and (as far as he knows) nothing is going to get in his way. All he needs is to make it through this year.<br/>His goals are simple:<br/>Continue swimming his way to the Olympics with Haru<br/>Try not to go insane in his trashy new apartment the size of a tic-tac<br/>…And, if at all possible, avoid dealing with his increasingly confusing feelings toward his new roommate.<br/>Unfortunately for Rin, all of that is easier said than done.<br/>As his second year of university progresses, it brings about changes that he isn’t sure he’s equipped to handle. And with all his plans for a stable adulthood coming apart at the seams, Rin's beginning to realize that he might just have a bit more growing up to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how I ended up here, but here I am. All I know is that I just spent my entire summer curled up in a ball, chanting "Rinrei is rinREAL" to myself over and over again. And this is the result.
> 
> Anyway, basically the only major change is the fact that Rin is swimming for a university in Tokyo with Haru. That's all you need to know.
> 
> It was a nice ending, and everything, but having him go back to Australia was super inconvenient, so we're just gonna ignore that!!

“I’m going to have to say no thanks.”

“Come again?” Rin blinked at the person sitting across from him. Surely he had heard wrong. There was water in his ears (an occupational hazard.) There was no way Haru had just said –

“I said ‘no thanks,’” Haru repeated, placidly meeting Rin’s increasingly bewildered gaze. “I’ve got a place to live next year. Everything’s already taken care of.”

“You…you…” Rin sprung up from his pillow on the floor and pointed a damning finger at Haru. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DECIDED THAT WITHOUT ME, YOU BASTARD!”

“Don’t make a scene,” Haru murmured, taking a sip of tea and flipping a page of the magazine laid out in front of him on the table.

“What do you mean, ‘don’t make a scene’?! We’re in your _house,_ idiot. Who am I gonna disturb? Your dolphin posters?”

Haru glanced up at him then looked back down. He said nothing, but Rin could tell he was thinking something insulting. He collapsed back down at the table, crossed his arms, and huffed.

It was the beginning of break, and the two of them were about to start their second year of university. Haru, in _typical_ Haru-fashion, had kept quiet about his plans for the new school year, such as where he was planning on living once they were kicked out of the first year dorms. Rin and Haru had been roommates. It seemed only natural since they were friends and had both been scouted – or drafted, as Haru had taken to calling it – for the university swim team. And Rin had enjoyed every minute of it.

Sure, their sleeping habits were completely different–incompatible, one might even say – and they argued… a lot. But mostly about trivial things like food and Rin playing his music too loudly. And there wasn’t anything they couldn’t resolve with a good race. And since swim practice was six days a week, they’d had ample opportunity to mend any fissure a stolen bag of chips or unfolded laundry might have created in their relationship.

Or maybe that was just Rin’s relief that Haru was still swimming with him at all making everything look all sparkly and rose-colored. Either way, Rin had had a pretty good year, dorm-wise. And swimming-wise, he supposed.

And he’d thought that Haru felt the same (about the roommate situation, at least) but apparently he’d been wrong.

Since Haru hadn’t mentioned anything and Rin hadn’t wanted to ask at the risk of sounding extremely insecure, he’d just assumed they were going to continue living together and that Haru was leaving the details to him.

And boy, had Rin ever come through. He was a hero, a goddamn hero.

Or rather, Seijuurou Mikoshiba was a hero, and Rin was hanging on to his cape for dear life.

It had been a few days before break, during one of the lunch dates his old captain and current teammate dragged him to every other week or so. Haru sometimes tagged along for the free meal, but he’d already packed up and gone back to Iwatobi since all his exams were finished. It was just Rin and Mikoshiba today, and Rin had mentioned that he and Haru were looking for a place to live next year.

Upon hearing this, Mikoshiba had perked up (which was a feat in and of itself, since he was already pretty perky to begin with) and announced that his building had a two-bedroom apartment available.

Rin had been hesitant. Mostly because he didn’t really want to be living anywhere that could be considered close proximity to Mikoshiba. He saw enough of the guy at practice as it was.

“Your building’s not part of student housing, right? I think we wanna stick to campus.”

“Ew, why?” Mikoshiba wrinkled his noise in distaste. “You have to pay through the nose for student housing.”

“Well, I doubt an apartment would be any cheaper.”

Mikoshiba reached across the table and punched him in the shoulder.

 _“Ow!_ What the hell?!”

“Rent control, Matsouka! Think about it. Plus, I’m pretty tight with the landlady. I could probably get you a discount on top of that.”

That did sound promising. Too good to be true, in fact. Rin searched around for another reason to say no.

“Don’t really wanna have to commute…” he began weakly.

Mikoshiba punched him again. “You’re an athlete! Walking an extra block to class isn’t gonna kill you. Plus, it’s pretty close to the natatorium. Why do you think I live there?”

Rin agreed in the end, of course. Mostly because he really couldn’t say no to the prospect of saving money. The athletic scholarship that both he and Haru were on covered everything except housing. Plus, Mikoshiba had looked like he might hit him again if he tried to refuse.

Now all that was left was to inform his roommate. Which was how he’d ended up sulking on Haru’s living room floor on his first day of vacation.

Because apparently Haru had abandoned him.

Or had he? Maybe he was joking. Haru had a weird sense of humor. He could just be pulling Rin’s leg.

“Okay, Haru, whatever you say. I’m sure you’ll be very happy in your imaginary dwelling space.” Rin bared his teeth. “Now, what date should I tell Mikoshiba we’re moving in? He said he’d fix everything up with the landlady for us.”

“Rin,” Haru said gently. “I’m not kidding. I’ve already got a place.”

Rin’s heart sank. “All by yourself?”

“No. You remember Hiroto Takigawa, right? I think you met him a few times.”

Rin put his self-pity on pause for a moment as he tried to recall the name. “Oh…you mean the charcoal guy?” Rin had seen him at Haru’s various art shows throughout the year. He wore giant glasses that probably weren’t prescription and was always coated in a layer of black dust.

“That is his primary medium, yeah,” Haru nodded. “His parents got him a four person apartment, and he invited me and some other guys from our portfolio class to live with him.” He shrugged. “Couldn’t think of a reason to say no.”

 _He’s sitting right in front of you!_ Rin wanted to scream.

He remained silent as he mauled everything over, suddenly feeling very lonely. Even though he never actively tried to, Haru always managed to make friends. People were just naturally drawn to him. So it made sense that he’d found some people other than Rin who would want to live with him.

Rin, on the other hand had made only a few, very casual friends. Acquaintances, really. Some on the swim team, some in his various math and English classes, none that he wanted to pursue any deeper relationship with. Mostly because he had Haru.

Rin blinked at the sudden prickly feeling behind his eyes.

Oh no.

He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to cry, dammit. Because that would mean he was upset. Which he wasn’t. He was just in shock, that was all. Damn Haru for springing it on him like this. If they’d talked about it, if Haru had maybe opened his mouth sometime within the last month and informed him of his impending betrayal…well then maybe it wouldn’t have felt like such a giant slap in the face.

“Rin?”

He blinked. Haru was staring at him, looking mildly concerned. Or annoyed – he couldn’t really tell.

“What?” he snapped in an attempt to save face. He was pretty sure he still looked like he was about to cry.

“You’ll be fine,” Haru said. Then he nodded decisively, as if that settled it.

Rin raised an eyebrow. “How do you figure?” he said flatly. “You realize you’ve left me an extremely awkward position, right? I can’t afford this place on my own. Now I’m gonna have to find somewhere else, which is going to be impossible on such short notice. You’re a real idiot, do you know that?”

“You can’t think of anyone who would want to live with you?”

Rin blushed and looked away. “Not on such short notice,” he said again.

“Well, I’m sure we’ll think of something.

“What do you mean _we?”_

Haru shrugged and looked back down at his housekeeping magazine, folding the corner down on a page containing a recipe that had evidently caught his attention. “Well, it’s my problem too, isn’t it?”

Rin stared at him, and he continued, “I’m not going to just leave you high and dry like that. Of course I’ll help you. I’ve got a few ideas already, actually, so don’t worry about it.”

Rin kept staring at him, no longer confused, but rather moved. When he didn’t say anything for a good twenty seconds, Haru shot him a dirty look. “What?”

Rin shook his head in wonder. “Nothing, nothing. It’s just…you sounded so reasonable just now.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?

“I don’t know.” Rin tilted his head. “But suddenly you seem really mature. It’s kinda creeping me out.”

Haru raised an eyebrow. “Do you want my help or not?”

“Sure, sure,” Rin replied, planting his palms on the floor and leaning back on them. He continued to regard Haru with something like disbelief. “Please do what you can.”

“I will.” Haru crossed his arms, looking determined. “Hold off on calling Mikoshiba for a few days.”

“Whatever you say,” Rin muttered, getting up to leave. He wanted to mope, and he wanted to do it in private.

“You’re not staying for dinner?” Haru asked.

Rin shook his head. “Told Gou I’d eat at home.” He shrugged on his jacket and added, “Besides, you’re gonna be eating a lot of your meals without me. Start getting used to it.”

“Huh,” Haru said. “You’re right. I didn’t think of that.”

 _Well, damn_ , Rin thought as he headed for the door. He shot Haru a hurt look, and Haru looked back down at his magazine just in time to miss it.

_He didn’t have to sound so happy about it._

* * *

  
_“I know you’re not being serious, but I’m still going to have to say no thanks.”_

“…”

_“Rin?”_

“…Sorry. I was having a flashback. Haru said the same thing.”

_“When he turned you down, you mean?”_

“Don’t say it like that! Makes it sound like I proposed or something.”

“ _Too bad you didn’t. Things might have turned out differently if you’d thrown in a ring.”_

“This isn’t funny, Sousuke! Look, I didn’t tell Haru this ‘cause my pride was already bleeding out on the carpet, but…I already signed a lease agreement.”

_“Oh. Well, that’s bit problematic…Wait, you signed it without checking with Nanase first?”_

“I know, I know! But Mikoshiba just whipped it out, like, a day after I talked to him, and said I needed to get a move on because there were a lot of others who wanted the space, and he’d pulled a lot of strings to give us priority with the building manager, and Haru had already gone home, and he never answers his damn phone, so what else was I supposed to do?!”

_“Alright! Geez, calm down – ”_

“And in my defense! How was I supposed to know he was gonna say no? How was I supposed to know he’d gotten other invitations? How was I supposed to know that apparently I’ve been standing in the very back of the fucking _line_ of people who want to live with that idiot! I mean, can you believe he has _friends?”_

_“…It is an interesting turn of events, I will admit that.”_

“Right? And so! That is why I’m making a withdrawal from our friendship bank and insisting you transfer to my school and pay half the rent on my apartment.”

_“Our friendship bank, huh? You do realize you haven’t called me in three months, right? And this doesn’t count, since apparently it’s a business call. I’d say all the money’s in my account, not yours.”_

“…Sorry…But, hey, you’re the one who didn’t come home for break.”

_“My shoulder flared up again. I like doctors in Tokyo better.”_

“Oh…you should have told me.”

_“I just did. And look, Rin, I’m not unsympathetic, but there’s not a whole lot I can do. For one thing…I just don’t want to. I like my school. And for another, by the time I completed the – what, five-month transfer process? – your ass would already be out on the street. It’s funny you should mention transferring though, because –”_

“Maybe I should ask Makoto…”

_“Are you listening to me?”_

“I mean, this is all Haru’s fault, so it’s not like it isn’t relevant to his interests. Or I could get Ai to help. He’d probably switch schools for me.”

“ _Yeah, he probably would, so don’t even think about it.”_

“Hey, I’m just narrowing down my options here.”

_“You can’t expect people to drop everything and rush to your aid just because your roommate’s a flake.”_

“Whatever. Anyway, what were you saying? About it being funny I mentioned transferring?”

_“…You’re being annoying, so I don’t wanna tell you anymore.”_

“But –”

_“Anyways, good luck. Maybe call me again in a few months so I know you aren’t living out of a cardboard box. Later.”_

“Wait –!”

**Call terminated**

 

* * *

 

**Incoming call**

“…Hello?”

 _“HELLO? RIN-SAN?_ ”

“Geez. Why are you yelling?”

_“RIN-SAN. CAN YOU HEAR ME? THE RECEPTION HERE IS TERRIBLE.”_

“Well, it’s just fine here, so talk normally. You practically blew out my eardrum.”

_“PLEASE HOLD ON A MOMENT, RIN-SAN. I’LL TRY TO GET A BETTER SIGNAL.”_

“...........Rei……….?”

_“Rin-san? Are you still there?”_

“Yeah, I’m still here. Where are you?”

_“Lyon.”_

“Lyon…Lyon…Like France?”

_“Correct. My family’s been traveling in Europe for vacation.”_

“Right, right. That’s nice. Anyway, it’s been a kind of a while, huh? Uh, what’s up?”

_“Well, you see, Rin-san, Haruka-senpai informed me of your current…predicament.”_

“…Predicament?”

_“About your apartment? Your need for a roommate? It sounded rather serious.”_

“Oh. That. Right. Haru told you about that, huh?”

_“He said you were desperate–”_

“HE SAID WHAT NOW?”

_“ – And I’d like to help you out.”_

“I AM NOT DESPERATE I JUST – Huh? How do you mean? You wanna pay my rent for me?”

_“Well, half of it, at least.”_

“Wait, wait, wait –”

_“I’ll admit I was rather surprised when Haruka-senpai explained things to me. I had thought the two of you would continue living with each other. But I can’t say it was an unwelcome development. Dormitory life has never much appealed to me, so I’d be more than happy to–Rin-san? Are you still there?”_

“Y-yeah, I’m here…I’m just trying to figure out what you’re talking about.”

_“I’m offering to live with you in the apartment you acquired. Was that not clear?”_

“Oh…Ok. Well, I don’t know what to say, Rei. It’s kind of funny–I actually forgot you were gonna be going to my school.”

_“…I’ll choose not to be insulted by that. I’m sure you’ve had a lot on your mind lately. Some things were bound to slip through the cracks.”_

“Heh, yeah…sorry about that. Um, anyway, so what you’re saying is–”

_“Honestly, Rin-san, your listening comprehension is really terrible this evening.”_

“Uh, maybe that’s because it’s 3 a.m. here, idiot.”

_“…That might explain it, yes. I’m so sorry, Rin-san! I didn’t consider the time difference!”_

“Don’t worry about it, I’m awake now. So…you want in on my apartment? Have I got that right?”

_“Yes. If you’ll have me.”_

“…Well, yeah, I’ll have you –I mean–fuck–I mean _yes._ That would be…fine.”

_“Oh, good! I’m very glad to hear that. In that case, I’ll let you go now. If you don’t mind, Rin-san, could we continue this conversation over e-mail? I’m using an international phone card, and there aren’t very many minutes left.”_

“S-sure.”

_“I’ll be in touch, then. Again, I apologize for waking you. I feel horrible about that. But thank you very much for taking my call!”_

“Uh, yeah…no prob.”

_“Good night! Or, good morning, I suppose I should say.”_

“Yeah, one of those. See ya.”

**Call terminated**

 

* * *

 

“You’re so lucky! I wanna live with Rei-chan! You guys are gonna have so much fun.”

How Nagisa managed to pout and shove half a piece of cake into his mouth at the same time was beyond Rin. He was mildly impressed.

It had been four days since he’d had taken Rei’s random call in the middle of the night, and he was still half-convinced it had all been some sort of weird, anxiety-induced dream. He _had_ been under a lot of pressure at the time, what with being legally shackled to an apartment he couldn’t afford and all.

Of course, the subsequent e-mails they’d exchanged over the next twelve hours were proof enough that it hadn’t been a dream. He was well and truly off the hook.

Amazing.

Rin wasn’t sure which part of all this he found more surreal – the fact that Haru had actually managed to provide him with a means of salvation, or that his salvation had come in the form of _Rei Ryugazaki._

“I can’t believe you forgot he was going to your school. His dad and brother both went there too, so obviously that’s where Rei-chan would end up.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Rin snapped reflexively. “And it’s not like I forgot on purpose. It probably would have come back to me eventually. Didn’t help that I was half-asleep for most of the conversation.”

“Yoooouu dummy.”

“I also forgot he was in Europe,” Rin added, just because Nagisa seemed to be getting such a kick out the whole thing.

The two of them were in a restaurant that Rin had promised to take Nagisa to the week before. He didn’t actually remember ever making such a promise, but then again, apparently there were a lot of things he didn’t remember.

 _Consider it your going away present to me_ , Nagisa had said when he’d turned up at Rin’s front door that afternoon. _I’m leaving in a week!_

Now _that,_ Rin had remembered perfectly. Nagisa had been accepted into a study abroad program his university was offering to first year history students, and would be spending a semester in England.

He seemed excited enough, but Rin was sure he had to be at least a little nervous about it. Fuck, Rin was plenty nervous about it, having been through something similar. There were a few differences in their situations, he realized, but he couldn’t help it. Just the thought of Nagisa alone in a foreign country (if he didn’t count the professor and the twenty or so other students he was going with) sent a spasm of anxiety through his chest. Not that he would ever let Nagisa know that. He was already footing the bill for Nagisa’s seven-course meal. He didn’t want to get teased for being soft on top of that.

“Yup.” Nagisa nodded. “His dad had a conference in Germany, and he decided to take the whole family and go travelling afterwards.”

“Where to?”

“They’ve been all over the place. Rei-chan’s become super obsessed with postcards. I’ve gotten a ton. He keeps using four or five to write a full letter from each place he visits. It’s funny ‘cause I know for a fact his grandparents got him stationary as a graduation gift, so there’s really no reason for that. He probably just thinks the postcards are cooler.”

“Yeah, that does sound like him,” Rin laughed.

“I’m glad he’s having fun. He really deserves it after working so hard last year. His entrance exam scores were crazy.”

Rin nodded thoughtfully. His swimming scholarship had eliminated the need for the entrance exam, so he wouldn’t really know about that, but he was impressed, nonetheless. His school was as renowned for its academics as it was for its athletics.

“Anyway, Rin-chan, I was thinking-he’ll probably do your laundry for you if you ask nicely.”

“Who?”

“Rei-chan. I bet you can get him to do your laundry. Possibly even cook your meals for you.” He leaned forward and whispered, “I think there’s housewife buried somewhere inside him. Take advantage of your situation.”

“Why would I wanna do that? I’ll have you know I’ve been doing laundry and cooking since I was twelve.”

“Wow, Rin-chan! Color me almost impressed.”

“You’re such a brat. Don’t let Rei hear you talking about him like that. His heart wouldn’t be able to take it.”

Nagisa just cackled and shoved some more cake in his mouth. But a few moments later, something seemed to strike him and he sobered. He picked up a different fork and began twirling spaghetti onto it, looking thoughtful. “Man…I guess that makes it you and Haru-chan and Mako-chan and now Rei-chan all in Tokyo.” He sighed and glanced up at Rin. “Maybe someday all five of us will be in the same city.”

“Well, you’ll just have to visit more often,” Rin said reasonably, slightly alarmed by Nagisa’s sudden shift in mood. “Once you’re back, that is.”

“Yeah,” Nagisa said quietly, his eyes downcast. “I guess I will.”

And to Rin’s utter horror, he put down his fork.

This wasn’t good. There were still three full plates of food left. Now wasn’t the time for Nagisa to lose his appetite. Rin had spent good money on that food.

“When I come back,” Nagisa continued, speaking more to himself than to Rin. “In half a year.”

“That’s only six months,” Rin added helpfully. Or at least it had sounded helpful in his head.

Nagisa didn’t say anything – just sat there, staring dully at his plate.

“You know… I really think you’ll be fine,” Rin blurted. “So…stop…looking like that.” He blushed and stared at a spot on the wall a foot above Nagisa’s head.

Nagisa, for his part, said nothing. He did, however, transfer his gaze from his plate to Rin’s face. He was blinking rapidly.

 _Oh, my God_ , Rin thought faintly. _I made it worse. He’s going to cry. He’s going to cry and I’m going to be driven out of town with fire and pitchforks._

“Uh, I mean…it’s not like you won’t make friends…you’re nice. You have an ok personality…people like blonds…and I assume you’ll be learning stuff…so you’ll be busy and the time will go by quickly. Probably.”

Well. It wasn’t his most elegant speech, but hopefully he’d gotten his point of across. If there was a point. He’d pretty much just been saying whatever popped into his head.

He risked a glance at Nagisa, who was staring fixedly at him. “N-Nagisa?”

He continued staring for a good ten seconds…and then promptly burst out laughing.

“Oh, my God, Rin-chan! You shoulda seen yourself just now – you looked so _scared!”_

“I thought you were going to start crying!”

Nagisa rocked dangerously far back in his chair, still laughing. “Of course I wasn’t! I’m not _you.”_

“Hey!”

“Oh, wow,” Nagisa crowed, wiping what were evidently pretend-tears of mirth away from his eyes. “I’ve learned something about you today. Honestly, Rin-chan, how can someone who cries at the drop of a hat be so terrified of other people’s emotional displays?”

 _“God._ Forget I said anything.” Rin crossed his arms and turned his head away irritably. That was what he got for trying to be nice.

“Aw, don’t be like that Rin-chan!” Nagisa reached over and began shaking his shoulder. “I feel a lot better now!”

Rin looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “…Really?”

“Oh, yeah! Underneath the layers of awkward, your words were very inspiring.”

“Well,” Rin sighed. “I guess that’s alright then.”

Nagisa smiled sunnily at him and returned his attention to his food. “That reminds me, though, Rin-chan, do you want those English books you lent me back?”

“Nah, you can keep them. It’s not like I need them. How have they been working out for you?”

“Oh, they’ve been super helpful! Just the other day, a gust of wind came through my window and all my papers would have gone flying if your books hadn’t been sitting on top of them!”

Rin grimaced. “I swear I am never lending you anything ever again. Do me a favor and at least flip through them a little.”

Nagisa waved him off with his spoon. “Relax, I’ve got it covered. You’d be surprised how much English I’ve picked up outside of school.”

“…You can’t quote song lyrics to people, Nagisa. I know it’s tempting, but don’t.”

“Not even musicals?”

“Do you want to get beaten up?”

Nagisa just batted his eyelashes at him. “Goodness, Rin-chan is _so_ worried about me!”

“Whatever.” Rin took the hint. If Nagisa didn’t want to talk about this anymore, then they didn’t have to.

“Anyway, Rin-chan,” Nagisa began after a few moments of silence during which he downed an entire milkshake as Rin looked on in fascination. “Tell me more about your new life with Rei-chan!”

“What’s there to tell? We haven’t moved in yet.”

“I know, but are you excited about it?”

Huh. That was a good question. Was he excited? He hadn’t really thought about it. The last few days had been sort of a haze for him, too many things happening much too quickly, what with Haru ditching him, then Rei swooping in out of nowhere.

“I guess,” Rin said noncommittally. “I’m sure he’ll be very…clean.”

It wasn’t much of a response, but Nagisa nodded gamely anyway. “Definitely,” he agreed. “Have you seen his room? You can eat off the floor in there! Which I know because I dropped a cupcake on his rug this one time.”

Rin remained silent. He picked up a fork and began poking distractedly at the nearest plate of food.

He was certainly relieved the apartment issue had resolved itself, but what did he feel beyond that? Even now that he was thinking about properly, he wasn’t sure. Except that he was still bitter about Haru. That particular sentiment was coming through the clearest. Everything else was dulled in comparison.

He glanced up to see Nagisa watching at him shrewdly.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just…make sure you’re nice to Rei-chan, ok?”

Rin blinked at him. “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m always nice.”

“Well, keep it up. He’s doing you a favor, after all.”

“Hey,” said Rin, confusion giving way to annoyance. He suddenly felt like he was being lectured– which was ridiculous since he hadn’t even done anything. “It’s not like Rei isn’t getting something out of this too.”

“I’m not saying he isn’t. I’m just saying you should be nice.”

“What are you implying?”

“That you should be nice,” he shrugged.

“BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!” Rin shouted.

“THAT YOU SHOULD BE NICE!” Nagisa bellowed back enthusiastically. People were staring at them now and Rin flushed.

“I’m _planning_ on being nice!” he said, lowering his voice.

“Then what are you getting all worked up for?”

“You’re acting like I’m gonna punch him in the face as soon as he walks into the building!”

Nagisa shook his head. “Nah, Rin-chan, you’re reading too far into this. I just want you to be nice to him.”

“Yeah, so you said,” Rin responded flatly. He wasn’t going to start in with him again. Even if he still had no idea what Nagisa was getting at. When was he ever not nice to Rei? He liked Rei. Honestly, who _didn’t_ like Rei? Even Haru got a kick out of him, and Haru rarely got anything out of anyone.

Unless…this wasn’t coming from Nagisa. What if Nagisa was just a mouthpiece and Rei was the one who was concerned about how Rin would treat him. Nothing had seemed out of the ordinary during their e-mail exchanges, but maybe Rei was hiding how he felt. Or maybe Rin was just being obtuse…

He thought back to his last encounter with Rei. It had been while. The last time they’d seen each other had to have been nearly a month ago at Rei, Nagisa, and Gou’s graduation ceremony. He couldn’t remember anything exceptional happening. The three graduates had all cried a little, but he’d cried a little himself, so he couldn’t really judge. There _had_ been the incident when Nagisa had gotten a little too enthusiastic during the Iwatobi fight song and elbowed Rei off the side of the bleachers. Rin had laughed kind of loudly at him…but he had apologized for that…

“Did Rei say something to you?” he asked.

“Rei-chan says many things to me,” Nagisa replied. “Be more specific.”

“Did he say something about me not being nice, prompting you to _tell_ me to be nice?”

“Nope, that was all me. And I’m kind of starting to regret it. I mean geez, Rin-chan. I wouldn’t have said anything if I’d known you’d get so hung up on it.”

“I’m not hung up on it!”

“Good! Then can we drop the curtain on this conversation?”

All right, truthfully, Rin was most definitely hung up on it.

But he nodded glumly anyway.

Nagisa gave him a kindly sort of look and patted him on the arm. “You seem kind of down now, Rin-chan. Sorry. I really didn’t mean anything by it. I just want Rei-chan to be happiest he can be this year, you know?”

And suddenly, Rin did know. Of course Nagisa was worried about Rei. This would be the first time in three years the two of them would be apart.

“I got it,” he said. Then he sighed and added grudgingly, “I’ll be nice.”

Nagisa winked and gave him a thumbs-up. Then he turned his attention to a glass of soda that had remained neglected thus far. Rin watched him sadly.

Poor Nagisa. He was just being so terribly _brave_ about everything.

Nagisa glanced up at him and grinned. “You still looked bummed out, Rin-chan. I know what’ll make you feel better – buying some more desserts! Whadda’ya say?”

“I guess we can give it a shot,” Rin sighed, passing Nagisa the menu with an air of resignation. “Though I can’t say I follow your logic.”

Nagisa eyes widened, and after a moment he threw his head back and started laughing. “Wow, Rin-chan!” he exclaimed, sounding absolutely delighted. “You sounded just like Rei-chan!”

 

* * *

  
Swim practice resumed a week before school started, so Rin moved into the apartment before Rei.

Mikoshiba was waiting for him on the doorsteps when he arrived. He sprang up as Rin approached and waved. “Hey, Matsuoka! Wow, you got here right when you said you would! I’m impressed! How was your flight?”

“It was fine,” Rin murmured through a yawn. He eyed Mikoshiba warily. He seemed a bit more wired than usual, and Rin didn’t really want to deal with that. Traveling had worn him out, and his duffle bag was heavy. He just wanted to go inside and get settled in.

“Good, good,” Mikoshiba said, rubbing the back of neck distractedly. “So, your stuff arrived yesterday. I took all the boxes down myself—no need to thank me,” he added when Rin opened his mouth, not to thank him, but to grouchily inquire as to whether or not those boxes were still taped securely shut. “And I had some spare time, so I hooked up your TV and unpacked some of your kitchenware for ya. That’s a snazzy tea set you’ve got, by the way. Can’t wait till you invite me over to use it.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” said Rin. He made to start up the steps, but found himself blocked.

“Um.” Rin attempted to push past Mikoshiba, but he wouldn’t budge. He just crossed his arms, looking—much to Rin’s surprise and apprehension—slightly uncomfortable. “Was there something you wanted?”

“Well, you see,” began Mikoshiba, “The uh, manager isn’t here right now, so she left everything to me. You know, giving you your key and a rundown of the place, that sort of thing.”

“So? What are we waiting for?”

Mikoshiba hesitated for a moment, then sighed. “Nothing,” he finally said, and gestured for Rin follow him.

They entered a dimly lit lobby with an elevator and two flights of stairs, one leading up and one leading down. Mikoshiba didn’t give him much time to look around before heading brusquely downstairs. “You’re pretty lucky, Matsuoka,” he commented, glancing back at Rin. “You’ve got the entire bottom floor to yourself.”

Rin hesitated at the top of the stairs. “You didn’t mention I was going to be in the basement.”

“Oh, didn’t I?”

They entered a short hallway lit only by a single, uncovered light bulb. Rin eyed it with distaste.

Mikoshiba stopped in front of the only door in the hall and rooted around in his pocket for a moment. He eventually fished out a key and tossed it to Rin. “You can do the honors, Matsuoka,” he said. He was smiling, but he still looked a bit nervous for some reason.

Feeling more and more suspicious by the second, Rin brushed past him, unlocked the door, and swung it open.

The first thing to come to his immediate attention was that it was dark. There was almost no natural lighting— just a few pathetic rays of sunlight streaming through the small awning windows lining the top of the far wall—and Rin realized that this floor of the building was almost entirely underground.

Mikoshiba cleared his throat and reached past Rin to flip a switch next to the door. An overhead light in the center of the ceiling flickered on. Like the one in the hallway, it was nothing but an exposed light bulb, and cast a weak, yellow glow over the room.

Now that there was slightly more visibility, Rin could see that one of the windows was cracked, the paint on the dingy, grey walls was peeling off in several places, the carpet was stained, and there was an unattractive green couch against one wall that definitely didn’t belong to him.

Rin dropped his bag on the floor and slowly turned around to face Mikoshiba, who was frantically trying to avoid eye contact.

“The, uh, window will probably be fixed soon…?” he offered weakly.

Rin let out a growl and grabbed him by the collar. “ _Was there something you forgot to tell me?!_ ”

“I’m sorry!” Mikoshiba cried. He seemed genuinely upset. Rin let him go, and he gestured around the room. “Matsuoka, I swear I had no idea it was like this before yesterday, when I brought all your shit down! That was first time I’d ever been down here.”

“I thought you said a lot of people wanted this place,” Rin hissed through gritted teeth. “Were they _blind,_ or was that just a line?”

Mikoshiba put hand over his heart, looking as distressed as Rin had ever seen him. “That was what Yasuya-san told me. The building manager—she told me a ton of people were interested, but she only wanted to rent to university students, and to keep my eye out for any who were looking. Who knew she was such a trickster?”

“Who knew you were such a sucker!” Rin snapped, which he knew was rather rich. They both knew who the real sucker was.

He rubbed at his temples and breathed deeply through his nose, trying to keep calm. “Well. I guess now we know where that discount you promised me actually came from. I knew it was too good to be true.”

“Yeah,” Mikoshiba agreed sadly. “Sorry ‘bout that. But maybe you should look at this as a valuable life lesson, Matsuoka—never shell out the cash before you get a look at the merchandise. Especially if we’re talking real estate.”

“Excuse me?!” Rin jabbed a finger into Mikoshiba’s chest. “This is all your fault! I bet you got something out of this, didn’t you? That manager lady probably cut your rent as a reward for bagging someone for her.”

“That’s…neither here nor there,” Mikoshiba replied, raising his eyes to the ceiling and keeping them there.

Rin growled again and snatched his bag from the floor, and Mikoshiba trailed sheepishly behind him as he proceeded to inspect the kitchen.

The tile floor and backsplash were chipped, and the microwave didn’t look like it had been cleaned since the last occupants had lived here, God knew how long ago. The fridge was clean, but began emitting a loud buzzing noise as soon as Rin plugged it into the wall that didn’t seem likely to cease anytime soon. The stove appeared to be in good condition, however, so at least he didn’t have to worry about the place blowing up the next time he wanted to heat up some tea.

The last thing he checked was the sink. Rin cautiously twisted one of the handles as Mikoshiba looked on curiously from behind, and an absurdly powerful stream of water gushed from the faucet, somehow managing to soak the front of Rin’s shirt before he had the presence of mind to shut it off.

“Water pressure’s kinda fucked up, huh?” Mikoshiba observed. Rin glared at him and headed for the bedrooms, picking a door at random and swinging it open.

At first glance, it seemed like a decent enough space. It was already furnished with a bed and desk, almost like a dorm room. There was a tiny window above the bed, and the carpet was much cleaner in here than in the living room.

In fact, Rin thought as he stepped further inside, it was such a nice room that it kind of made up for the rest of the—

“Are you _fucking kidding me_?”

Never mind. He took it all back.

He had just noticed the hole.

Mikoshiba let out a low whistle, and Rin’s bag slid off his shoulder, landing beside him with a soft thud.

The two of them stood in horrified silence for a moment, just taking it in. There, right in the middle of the wall dividing the two bedrooms, the edges a ragged mess of yellowish wood and pink insulation, was a giant hole, easily big enough for someone as wide as Mikoshiba to comfortably fit through.

Mikoshiba cleared his throat awkwardly and shifted from one foot to the other “Um, what I _think_ must’ve happened,” he began in response to the question Rin hadn’t asked, “was that someone was probably trying to turn the two bedrooms into one big room by knockin’ out this wall here.” He tilted his head back thoughtfully. “Yeah…now that I think about it, Yasuya-san might have mentioned something like that a while back. _Way_ before you were in the picture,” he added hastily. “Anyway, looks to me like she was trying to renovate this place and ran out of money.”

He reached out and punched Rin lightly in the shoulder. “Lucky for you.”

When Rin didn’t give any sort of response, Mikoshiba frowned and waved a hand in front of his face. “Eh, Matsuoka?”

“…I’m sorry,” Rin said darkly, still not looking at him. “Did you say something? I was too busy staring at this _giant fucking hole in the wall_ to pay attention.”

Mikoshiba opened his mouth, but was cut off by a sudden rumbling from above their heads. They both looked up at the ceiling, which was covered in brownish water stains, and was almost vibrating due to the noise coming from the floor above.

“Did I mention you’re right below the laundry room?” Mikoshiba said after a moment, chuckling nervously. “I’m so jealous—I have to come down five floors to do it, but you’re so close. Isn’t that nice, Matsuoka?”

Rin was five seconds away from yanking his own hair out. His mind was spinning with all the items that needed to be addressed, and he really didn’t know where to start. Ignoring Mikoshiba for the moment, he staggered to the bed, collapsed onto it, and lay there like man haunted. Which he very well might have been. This place probably had at least one or two ghosts. He’d have to remember to check the closets for bodies.

“Matsuoka?” Mikoshiba asked tentatively.

“Where’s the manager?”

“Hm?”

“The building manager! _The building manager!_ ” Rin practically shouted, sitting up and glaring at Mikoshiba. “I’m gonna…I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Sue her? _Can_ I sue her? Can I sue _you?”_

“She’s out of town,” Mikoshiba said apologetically. He pulled out the desk chair and sat down, facing the bed. He regarded Rin with concern. “Are you gonna be ok?”

“I will be once I get myself out this lease.”

“Pfft, good luck with that,” Mikoshiba snorted.

Rin lifted his head out of his hands to glance up at him. _“What?”_

“Well, it’s an airtight lease agreement, for one thing. Not a lot of loopholes. And nonrefundable to boot. You already paid for your first month right? Plus, you paid without having a look at the place first. Legally speaking, you have no one to blame but yourself. Legally! I said legally!” he cried when Rin sprang up from the bed and grabbed his collar for the second time that day.

“God, I should _not_ have used you as a proxy,” Rin groaned, slumping dejectedly back on the bed. “I don’t like you knowing all this shit about me.”

“I don’t judge,” Mikoshiba shrugged. “You were in a hurry to find a place. Coulda happened to anyone. I’m just sorry I had such a big part in it.”

“It’s completely your fault,” Rin agreed.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Eventually Mikoshiba leaned forward and asked curiously, “So, what are you gonna do about the hole?”

“I don’t know,” Rin said wearily. He lay down, closed his eyes, and pointed blindly at Mikoshiba. “You fix it.”

“Gonna need a lot of tape…” Mikoshiba mused. “Anyway, Yasuya-san will get on it as soon as she gets back. I’m sure she doesn’t expect you to live like this. Not for long at least. And in the meantime…maybe having zero privacy will help you and Ryugazaki-kun bond.”

Rin’s eyes flew wide open at that and he sat back up so fast he nearly pulled a muscle. “Oh, my God. I completely forgot about Rei!”

“That’s kind of rude.”

“Shut up!”

Rin didn’t panic often. As a mature adult at the ripe old age of nineteen, he considered himself far above such unseemly behavior. But given these circumstances, he decided he was completely justified in freaking out just a little.

“Shiiiit!” he moaned, pacing the floor in front Mikoshiba. “He’s gonna kill me!”

Rin wasn’t one to lie to himself. He knew very well that he was an anal retentive neat freak with a recurring attitude problem. But if Rin had a page or two devoted to him in the big book of head cases, that was nothing compared to Rei Ryugazaki, whose list of idiosyncrasies took up the rest of the book plus the first three chapters of the sequel.

He was going to take one look at the place and bolt. And Rin really couldn’t blame him.

“I have to disinfect,” he suddenly blurted. “I need supplies!”

“You can borrow my mop,” Mikoshiba offered, looking somewhere between amused and afraid.

“That’s a start,” Rin nodded. He slipped a tie off his wrist and put his hair up, adrenaline pushing through his veins. What he needed right now was action. If he was stuck with this hell hole for the foreseeable future, then the least he could do was make it at least half-way habitable. For Rei’s sake as much as his own, since he really couldn’t afford losing him. God. He really wasn’t looking forward to their next conversation.

“Have I mentioned I hate you?” he added to Mikoshiba, who was now slowly but surely edging his way out of the room.

“Oh, now don’t be like that,” he said jocularly, taking another few steps backwards. “Just think of all the good things about this place! There’s the proximity to the laundry room, like I mentioned.” He started counting off on one hand. “And…you have your own room for the first time in—what— three years? Ignoring the massive hole, of course…” He was in the living room now, but he stuck his head back around the doorframe. “And since you’re underground, if a tornado ever hits this place, you’ll be all set! You see? That’s three whole things! Life’s not so bad, Matsuoka.”

“I know it’s not. Because _you’re_ going to help me clean.”

Rin cracked his knuckles and pushed up his sleeves. “Where to start, where to start?” he muttered to himself. Rei was coming at the end of the week. That gave him about five days to make the place livable.

Mikoshiba grimaced. “I can’t. Swim practice.”

“That doesn’t start until tomorrow!”

“Yeah, but I like to get my stretching done way beforehand so I don’t cut into practice time. You should try it. Anyway, have fun! Crack the windows if you’re gonna be using cleaning solutions! I don’t want you to asphyxiate down here! If you need me, I’ll be above sea level! Seeyatomorrowbye!”

He was out the door and halfway up the stairs leading to the first floor before Rin even had time to blink.

“You know what? If there _is_ a tornado, you’re not allowed down here!” he yelled after him. “AND DON’T FORGET THE MOP!”

He slammed the door and let out groan of pure frustration. He just couldn’t wrap his head around it. He was even more screwed than he had been before he’d made his arrangements with Rei.

And speak of the devil, right at that moment, his phone buzzed, alerting him to a text message. Rin steeled himself as he withdrew his phone from his pocket.

 **From:** Rei Ryugazaki  
**Message:** Hi! I hope your flight went smoothly and that you’re settling in well. Once you unpack, let me know if there’s anything you forgot at home. I’d be happy to bring it for you. The same goes for anything else you think you might need. I’m going to be shopping this week anyway, so it’s no trouble. –Rei

Amazing. It was like he was trying to make Rin feel guilty.

Cursing to himself, Rin typed out the only reply he was capable of thinking of.

 **To:** Rei Ryugazaki  
**Message:** Bring a vacuum

Once the message was sent, Rin groaned again and hurled his phone across the room, onto the hideous green couch.

Thirty seconds later, however, he retrieved it and added an addendum to his message.

 **To:** Rei Ryugazaki  
**Message:** Please

He still had his manners. Dubious though his grip on sanity was at the moment.

After all, he promised he’d be nice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei moves in and Rin just can't seem to keep it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **There's a new summary because the old one was a little overly-simplified/misleading**
> 
>  
> 
> This thing is pretty long, so I'd recommend taking a few water breaks every now and then.

That first day had been something of a low point for Rin.

 He had been woefully unprepared for the task ahead. Not that that was his fault. It wasn’t like he’d _known_ he was moving into a disaster area. All he had brought with him in the way of cleaning supplies were a few rolls of paper towels, some dish soap, and a sponge.

 After Mikoshiba had dropped off his mop, Rin had sort of just sat on his bed in a catatonic state, unable to motivate himself now that the adrenaline rush from before was wearing off. Both Gou and Sousuke had called him at some point, wanting to know how things were going at his new place, and it had taken all his energy to sound like he wasn’t regretting every decision he’d made in the last month.

 By that evening it had started to look like he wasn’t going to be able to do much more than lie on his bed and feel sorry for himself. But then a cockroach shot out of a corner or the room and scuttled out the door, and Rin suddenly had the inspiration he needed to get his ass up and _clean something_.

But only because setting the place on fire wasn’t a viable option.

The next five days passed quickly. Rin, who was nothing if not a master of time management, made sure that every waking moment was devoted to bringing his apartment back from it’s current status of health-and-safety-hazard. The scope of his entire existence had been reduced to a simple routine—wake up early, clean all day, swim at night, come home, clean some more.

On Friday afternoon—the day before Rei was supposed to arrive— Rin invited Haru over to help. Well… _bribed_ him would probably be a more accurate term. But he was desperate. He really had no desire to touch the microwave, and 300 yen wasn’t going to set him back that much.

Unfortunately, Mikoshiba had ambushed them in the lobby and followed them down.

“The place is looking good, Matsouka!”

“I don’t remember inviting you in!”

Haru stepped around Rin as he attempted to push Mikoshiba out the door. He sniffed and declared, “It smells like bleach in here.”

“What’s with that tone?” Rin snapped. He turned to glare at Haru, and Mikoshiba overpowered him, forcing his way into the room. “It smells exactly like chlorine, and you practically snort that stuff.” 

“And why is the carpet wet?” 

“Because I just _cleaned_ it,” Rin said with relish. 

It had taken him all morning, but he’d managed to find someone in the building who had a steam cleaner. Of course, it had then taken him another twenty minutes of forced friendly chatting before the girl who owned it would let him escape back downstairs, but it had been totally worth it.

“No way!” Mikoshiba exclaimed, looking down at the carpet. “Who knew this was actually _white_?” 

“Right!?” Rin nodded excitedly, momentarily forgetting that Mikoshiba was occupying the number one spot on his shit list.

“Feels weird,” Haru muttered, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. 

Rin frowned at him. “Then walk along the edge. Your job’s in the kitchen, anyway. And quit complaining. It’s not like you have to _live_ here.”

“Yeah, you sure dodged the bullet, Nanase-kun,” Mikoshiba snickered, and Haru nodded solemnly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rin barked, redirecting his scowl at Mikoshiba as Haru edged past him.

“Oh, I just meant… you know… that this is a western-style apartment? And I didn’t think Nanase-kun was into that.”

“Yeah. Sure you did,” Rin said caustically. “Anyway, I have things to do. Leave this place and never return.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Mikoshiba sighed. “See you guys at practice. Bye, Nanase-kun! Make sure Matsouka shows you the hole—it’s really something!" 

Rin slammed the door on him and traipsed after Haru into the kitchen.

“Cleaning stuff’s under the sink,” he said. “Knock yourself out.”

“You’re not going to offer me anything to drink? This is my first time here, after all. It’s only polite.”

“This is a business transaction,” Rin pointed out crabbily. “Maybe if you do a good job I’ll give you a glass of water.”

“You’re still mad at me, aren’t you?” Haru said. He didn’t seem too bothered, though, and Rin felt a tiny flame of irritation flicker inside him. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said loftily, and he knew Haru wouldn’t persist on the subject. The atmosphere between two of them could go from pleasant to hostile in a matter seconds, and while _Rin_ had no problem with getting his issues out in the open—to be poked and prodded at until they resolved themselves—Haru considered such measures a tedious waste of energy.

 Truth be told, Rin actually wasn’t that mad at him. At least not as much as he was before. It was mostly just that…his feelings were hurt. Sort of. Kind of. It was stupid and embarrassing, but there it was. It felt like Haru—with his art classes and the friends he’d made—had completely sectioned off a part of his life from Rin. And _yes_ , he supposed he should have been happy that the guy had interests outside of water and mackerel, and he knew he was being a little irrational, seeing as they were still swimming together. But he still couldn’t help feeling…sort of left behind.

And the whole apartment thing seemed pretty damn symbolic of that.

Of course, Rin would sooner cut out his own tongue than say any of that out loud. No need to remind anyone just how pathetic he really was. They’d all gotten enough of that during his second year of high school. It was a pretty widely known fact that Rin didn’t handle change particularly well.

 Luckily, just as he’d predicted, Haru only shrugged and began rolling up his sleeves, allowing the conversation to come to a halt before they could lose control of it. Rin sighed to himself in relief and fought the sudden urge to wave a hand through the air to make sure any residual awkwardness had dissipated.

 He left Haru to his task and went into his bedroom.

 He’d picked the one that was directly under the laundry room and farthest from the bathroom in the hopes that giving Rei the better room would make up for the hole – which he still didn’t know what do about.

 It shouldn’t have been as big a deal as it was. Rin was used to this sort of thing. After all, he’d spent the last three years of his life sharing a room the size of a postage stamp with another person—first at Samezuka, then this past year at university with Haru—and he’d had no problems with that.

 _This_ on the other hand… this was beyond awkward.

 No matter how many times he’d rearranged the furniture, there was no getting around the fact that the two of them were going to have a perfect view of the goings-on in each others’ rooms. It was even worse than having to share a room, in a way. The semblance of privacy was there—it just had a really big fucking hole in the middle of it.

 Haru wandered in eventually. He was sporting yellow rubber gloves and holding a wad of steel wool in hand and bottle of industrial strength disinfectant in the other. “That was disgusting,” he announced. “I don’t think some of the stuff I scraped out of there was even food.”

“You don’t need to tell me about it,” Rin said, pulling out his wallet. “It was 300 we agreed on, yeah?”

Haru shot him a bewildered look. “I wasn’t actually going to make you pay me.”

“Seriously? Then why did we spend an entire conversation hashing out the details?”

Haru shrugged. “I was just kidding. You’re the one who kept talking about it. Not my fault you didn’t pick up on the joke.” 

“That’s not how jokes work! You have to give some indication that you’re not being serious or—you know what? Never mind.”  Exasperated, he threw his wallet onto the desk and flopped onto his bed.

Haru shuffled further into the room, and naturally, his eyes were immediately drawn to the problem-wall.

“So you really weren’t kidding about the hole.”

“I don’t think you know how kidding works,” said Rin. “But yeah. I told you it was bad.”

“Rei’s gonna have an aneurism.”

“You think I don’t know that? But there’s not a whole I can do at the moment. The damn landlady is still in Yokohama and she’s the one who’s gonna be paying for the repair. Besides, Rei’s coming tomorrow morning and I still have a million other little things I need to do.”

“Like what?” Haru asked, taking a seat in Rin’s desk chair.

“Um, let’s see,” Rin tilted his head back as he thought. “Wipe all the cabinets down, touch up the paint on some parts of the walls, scrub the baseboards, change the air filters, dust everything—do you really want me to go on?"

“You’re just being finicky. Is any of that really necessary?" 

“Of course it is! It’s _Rei_ we’re talking about!”

“I’m just saying, it’s seems like a lot work…Maybe you should skip practice. You know, if you _really_ feel the need to get all of it done today.”

“Are you crazy?” Rin sat up and eyed him incredulously.

Haru shrugged. “It’s just a suggestion. I can skip too and help you out. One practice isn’t a big deal.”

“The hell it isn’t!” Rin snapped, more out surprise than anything else.

The Pan Pacific swimming championships were being held this year and Rin was going to do everything he could to land a spot on the team that would be sent to Australia in August to compete. He knew it was a long shot, but he figured if he wanted to be on the national team by next year, it really couldn’t hurt to have a few major accolades already under his belt. It was all part of his master plan. Pan-Pacific this year, national team next year, Olympics the year after that. Haru had called him insane when he had revealed The Plan to him, but Rin had just laughed. Because even though he said that, he knew Haru would be with him every step of the way.

Which was why Rin was now openly staring at him in disbelief.

‘Skipping practice’ was most certainly _not_ part of The Plan.

“Are you feeling ok?” he asked, unable to keep the concern from edging its way into his voice.

Haru rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, a new voice wafted into the room from outside.

“Yoo-hoo? Matsuoka?”

Rin grimaced at Haru, but didn’t get up. “What?” he called out.

He heard Mikoshiba laugh. “Come out here a sec, will ya?”

Rin went into the living room, where Mikoshiba had stuck his head through the door.

“What do you want?”

“Ryugazaki-kun’s boxes just arrived. They’re in the lobby, so you should probably go get them. I _would_ help you, but apparently I’m not allowed in here.”

“Damn straight,” Rin said. “I’ll get the boxes. Thanks for letting me know.”

Mikoshiba gave him a hopeful look, but Rin slammed the door again, barely giving him enough time to get his head out of the way. 

He was slightly displeased—although not at all surprised—to find that Rei had _a_ _lot_ of stuff. It took him and Haru several trips to bring it all down to the apartment, the number of times they’d been up and down the stairs carrying heavy boxes almost enough to make skipping swim practice sound like a good idea.

“He’s got a shitload of books,” Rin observed from where he and Haru had flopped onto the floor in Rei’s room after they’d brought in the last of the boxes, all of which had been neatly labeled with their contents. At least half of them were books. “What do you think he _does_ with them all?”

“Reads them,” Haru yawned. “Or uses them to prop doors open. I don’t know.”

“Where’s he going to put them?”

The place didn’t have much in the way of storage space. There was a hutch on each of the desks and a built-in bookshelf in the living room, but that was already being occupied by many of Rin’s own books.

Haru looked thoughtful. “Um…maybe you guys could stack them in front of the hole and build a wall?”

Rin glanced over at him, impressed. “That’s actually not a bad idea. Maybe you deserve that 300 yen after all.” 

Haru yawned again and sat up to stretch. “Just looking out for Rei,” he murmured, lazily arching his back. “I don’t want him to have to suffer your company more than he’s already going to be.”

“Wow. It’s pretty bold of you to insult me in my own home. What’s your problem?”

Haru crossed his arms gave him a stern look. “I’m thinking ahead. Rei’s very delicate and you’re kind of a brute, and it’s been a while since you guys have had any sort of prolonged exposure to each other.”

“What are trying to say, you jerk?!” Rin cried, sitting up as well. “Do I need to remind you that this entire arrangement was _your_ idea?”

It wasn’t as though the same thing, or at least something _similar_ , hadn’t occurred to Rin. He and Rei did have somewhat clashing personalities, but then again, so did he and Haru, and they’d somehow managed to muddle through. And true, it had been quite a while since they’d been in each other’s company, but that didn’t make any difference. They got along well when they were together, and there was no reason to think that any of that would change just because they were now sharing a kitchen and a bathroom. 

Plus, it was a bit late to be having doubts now.

“I know that. And you’re really lucky Rei agreed to it. He definitely didn’t have to. And it _should_ be fine. But…you should probably get that wall fixed as soon as possible.”

Rin stared at him, feeling almost exactly as he had when he and Nagisa had been discussing Rei a few weeks ago—like he was being given some sort of lecture. Though, in Haru’s case, it was more like a warning. 

Which begged the question: what the _hell_ was everybody’s problem? Rin knew he wasn’t exactly the warmest person in the world, but that didn’t mean they had to treat him like he had a perpetual icicle up his ass.

“I suppose next you’re going to tell me to be nice to him,” he muttered sullenly.

“Why? Do you need reminding?”

“Shut up.” Rin glared at him, and he could practically _feel_ his blood pressure rising in annoyance. “You know,” he continued vindictively, “you weren’t exactly a treat to live with, either. You’d better hope your new roommates are as tolerant as I was. Make sure to invite me over when your first water bill comes. I wanna watch you try to explain yourself.”

“Whatever.” Haru rose to his feet and started for the door.  

Feeling a little better, Rin smirked and sprang up after him.

“Wanna get dinner before practice? I still sort of feel like I owe you for the microwave.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Haru said, slipping on his shoes. “I can’t anyway. I have to go to the art supply store before it closes.”

Rin paused in the process of putting on his own shoes to glance up at him. “What for? Classes haven’t even started yet. You can’t possibly have anything due.”

“It’s not for a class,” Haru said. “The department is having a gala or whatever for alumni and donors next week, and they want to have work on display. Probably to show them that their money didn’t go to waste and get them to hand over more.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, one of my teachers asked me to contribute something. I’m supposed to submit it tomorrow, but I need to do a few last minute touches first.”

“Oh,” Rin said, a bit surprised by the thorough explanation. Haru usually wasn’t that forthcoming with information.

He thought back a bit and _did_ seem to recall him mentioning something before break began about starting a piece for “some stupid showcase thing in April.”

“Well. Good for you. It’s that…oil pastel thing, right? I remember you starting it a while back.”

“Chalk pastel,” Haru corrected.

“Right, that’s what I—”

“There’s _a huge_ difference _—_ ”

“I got it, I got it!” Rin waved him away.

“…What are you doing?” Haru asked a few moments later, as Rin straightened up from tying his shoes.

“What’s it look like? I’m going to get something to eat. I’m starving.”

“Yeah, but…don’t you need to keep working? We’ve got practice pretty soon, and you said you’re not skipping so…”

“It’s fine,” Rin said, pulling Haru with him out the door and locking it behind them. “I’ll have time after practice. I’m actually more productive late at night.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“What are you so worried about? I told you it’ll be fine.”

Haru cast him a dubious glance. “Whatever you say.”

* * *

 

“This is all _your_ fault,” Rin growled at Haru six hours later.

Practice had ended at 10 o'clock just like it was supposed to. Rin had dashed to the locker room to get changed so he could go home and work for another hour or two before going to bed and waking up refreshed and ready to greet the day—and Rei’s inevitable ire—in the morning.

However, like most of his domestic goals, it was not meant to be, and Rin just _knew_ the universe must have been cackling at him as it threw yet another wrench into his plans.

He’d been halfway out the door when the team advisor, Sanada-san, had called for a meeting, during which he'd informed everyone that they were all to head over to the main building of the sports complex so they could help set up the lobby for the reception being held for the new students the next day.

The announcement was met with some general grumbling, but Rin was the only one who actually cried out in dismay. Haru elbowed him in the ribs as Sanada-san went on to apologetically explain that there had been a last minute change in venue, the athletic center’s lobby having been deemed larger than the original location where the reception was to have taken place.

“How is it _my_ fault?” Haru snapped back, glancing down at Rin from the short stepladder he was standing on. “Hand me another piece of tape, would you?” 

The event organizers had split the team into groups and set them each to a different task. Mikoshiba—who had volunteered to come even though the third and fourth years had been excused—Haru, Rin, and another second year, Iwashima, had been given the responsibility of hanging the banners from the walls.

“It just _is_ ,” Rin spat, violently ripping a piece of tape off the roll and brandishing it up at Haru. “You knew this would happen, didn’t you? That’s why you were being all weird and prophetic this afternoon." 

“So, what you’re saying is that it’s my fault because I suggested you skip today and you didn’t listen to me?” Haru give him a flat look. “That makes a lot of sense. And I _didn’t_ know, by the way. This was a complete coincidence. Serves you right, I guess.”

“Would someone please explain to me why  _we_ have to do this?” Iwashima whined a few feet to Rin’s left, where he was helping Mikoshiba hang the other side of the banner. “We’re swimmers. We’re not built for menial labor. Where the hell is the basketball team when you need them?”

“We’re the only team that was having practice today,” Mikoshiba said. “It was just a matter of convenience. Now quit bitching about it and pay attention to your work. Your side is slipping.”

Rin let out an exasperated sigh and shifted from one foot to the other. “God _,_ I need to get _out_ of here!”

“Why are you in such a hurry, Matsuoka?” Iwashima asked grouchily.

“Rin needs to scrub his baseboards,” Haru answered for him.

Iwashima shot him a weird look. “…I don’t get it. Is that like Iwatobi-slang for something dirty?” 

Mikoshiba snorted, and Rin smacked Haru in the arm. 

“If you _must_ know,” he huffed, turning to Iwashima, “I have to do some cleaning before my roommate arrives tomorrow morning. He’s kind of insane about that sort of thing.”

He didn’t see so much as feel Haru and Mikoshiba’s judgmental gazes on him, the ones that were clearly saying, “As if _you’re_ one to talk.”

“Wow. That’s…that’s so _lame_ ,” Iwashima blurted, shaking his head. “I mean, geez, at least _I_ had a date tonight. What the hell are you complaining about?”

“Hey!”

“Alright, enough chatting,” Mikoshiba interjected. “Let’s try to finish this quickly. Clearly everyone’s priorities lie elsewhere this evening. 

“What kind of person goes on a date at 10:30 at night?” Haru mused as Rin handed him another piece of tape. “Sounds tacky as hell.”

“Sure does,” Rin agreed.

“Hey!” Iwashima cried indignantly. “It’s not _my_ fault I’ve got practice! She was cool with it! _She said she was cool with it!”_

“It’s not polite to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations,” Haru told him.

“Iwashima, get back to work,” Mikoshiba barked. “This banner’s gonna fall in about two seconds.”

* * *

 

The work went by relatively quickly after that, and it seemed to Rin that they had gotten a lot done in the time they spent doing it. The lobby was festively decorated and several booths and tables had been set up for the various clubs and academic departments to distribute information from.

Rin was actually feeling rather accomplished.

That is, until he glanced at his watch and learned that he should never, _ever_ measure time by productivity.

They had been at it for a whopping _three and half hours_. It was now approaching 2 a.m., and he still had an apartment full of minor details to take care of.

Rin practically sprinted home and spent the next three hours completing everything that was left on his to-do list. He actually managed to get some sort of masochistic pleasure out of being made to suffer for his own stupidity.

He really, _really_ should have just skipped practice. 

At 5:30 in the morning, just when the sun was beginning to peek out over the horizon—or at least he assumed it was. It was impossible to tell through those tiny windows—Rin collapsed into bed in an almost delirious state of exhaustion. He fell asleep instantly, only to be awakened what felt like mere _moments_ later by the vibrating of his cell phone on the bedside table. 

Rin sat up groggily and opened his eyes, immediately regretting it when his retinas were assaulted by the sunlight streaming in through the window above his bed. He grabbed blindly for his phone, which was still vibrating, although not with a call as he’d originally thought, but with a barrage of text messages. Rin stared at the screen for a moment, frozen in horror.

That time couldn’t be right. There was no way it was 11:50. That would mean he’d slept through the alarm he’d set to go off at 10.

And that would also mean that Rei—punctuality-obsessed freak that he was—was literally ten minutes away.

Rin groaned. He was tempted to just wiggle back down under the covers and let Rei discover the wonderful world of low-rent housing on his own. He resisted, however, and thumbed through the text messages instead. 

There was one from Rei, sent an hour and a half ago, informing him that he was getting on his plane, and the rest all seemed to be from Haru, who had apparently foreseen Rin’s cleaning-induced crash. He’d sent about twenty messages, all of which simply said, “wake up.” Rin scowled, not amused in the slightest. 

He stared at his inbox for a moment before his brain finally booted up and he realized that he did, in fact, have to get of bed. He got up and shook himself out. Thanks to the sleep depravation and possibly some of the chemicals from the cleaning products he’d been inhaling all night, he felt like he’d spent the night banging his head against a brick wall.

Ignoring another vibration from his phone—probably another message from Haru—Rin shuffled over to the hole and climbed through. It was a bad habit he’d fallen into over the last week. There were two doors to the bathroom, and one of them was connected to Rei’s room. It didn’t make that much of a difference, but going through Rei’s room was just a little bit more convenient. Rin knew he was going to have to stop now that Rei was finally moving in, but that wasn’t really something he was thinking about right now.

He gave himself five minutes to get washed up and take a shower, going so far as to set the timer on his phone to make sure he stuck to the time limit. Just because he’d lost control of his life, it didn’t mean he had to look like it.

Especially not in front of Rei.

He was pretty sure the guy already thought he a was screw-up, and the state of their apartment was just going to reinforce that. The least he could do was make sure he was fully conscious and ready to explain himself when Rei arrived.

He managed to finish his shower in record time, with a whole thirty seconds to spare. Wrapping a towel around his waist and congratulating himself on his ability to wash his hair in under a minute—a skill honed from years of sharing a bathroom with about thirty other guys at a time— Rin went back into Rei’s room, through the hole, and headed to his closet. 

He stood in front of it, pondering deeply over what he wanted to wear, when the piercing beep of his phone alarm suddenly sounded from the bathroom. Rin jumped and cursed under his breath, then trudged back into the bathroom and grabbed the stupid thing off the counter. He turned the alarm off, grumbling in annoyance at having left it in there in the first place, and went back into Rei’s room. 

He had just swung one leg through the hole when, out of nowhere, he heard someone say, “Rin…san?”

Startled, Rin let out a yelp, turned around wildly, and lost his balance. He flailed for a moment, and then toppled over, landing on the carpet on his side of the hole with his legs hanging over the edge. Ignoring the pain, Rin scrambled to adjust the towel at his waist, but all he met was bare skin. He opened one of the eyes he’d instinctively shut during the fall and glanced up to discover that the towel had gotten caught on the part of the raggedy boarder of the hole and, consequently, was not covering _nearly_ as much of him as it should have been.

“Are you alright? That looked…painful.” 

Rin’s gaze slowly traveled upwards, eventually meeting concerned, glasses-framed eyes.

Rei stared down at him, anxiously biting his lip. He leaned forward a bit, reaching a hand through the hole as though to help him up, and that was when Rin _finally_ snapped out of the daze he seemed to have been in since he’d gotten out of bed. 

When had Rei gotten here and _why hadn’t he noticed?_

He yanked the towel until it got free, covered himself up, and scrambled backwards, a delayed blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“Are you alright?” Rei asked again, retracting his hand and giving him a pitying look.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” Rin cried, springing to his feet and making sure the towel was once again secure. “Sorry! I—where the _hell_ did you come from? How long have you been here?”

“Just a few minutes. I called you when I arrived at the building, but you didn’t answer.” Rei smiled ruefully. “Did you forget I was coming?”

Rin shook his head, his face still on fire. “I just… had kind of a late start.”

“I did get that impression.” Rei glanced pointedly at his towel. “Anyway, I didn’t feel like waiting, so I came down here on my own. You left the door unlocked, by the way. You’re lucky I’m not here to rob you because you’ve made yourself a very easy target. I hope that’s not habitual.” He pushed his glasses up and raised an eyebrow at Rin.

Rin, for his part, just blinked at him, his mouth hanging slightly open. “…Yeah, no. Uh, sorry about that,” he eventually said, scrambling to get a foothold in the conversation. “Well, anyway… Since you’re here, uh, let me get dressed and I’ll give you a tour of the place. I mean, there’s not much of it, but…yeah. This is the hole, by the way.” He gestured awkwardly. What the fuck was he doing? _The hole_ needed no introduction. Especially not when they were talking to each other through it like some sort of portal.

“Yes, I…noticed,” Re replied carefully, his eyes roam around the edges. 

“I—shit—yeah, I was kind of hoping to ease you into that. Look, I really need to put on some clothes. Just give me a second.”

“Take your time. I’ll just start unpacking. Thank your for bringing my boxes down, by the way.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Rin replied in a strained voice. He was blushing so hard at this point that it was a wonder he wasn’t actually _bleeding_. He darted to his closet on the other side of the room, still in full view from the hole. Rei turned his back respectfully and went off to another part of his room, leaving Rin, alone. Or as alone as either of them could hope to be. 

As quickly as he could, Rin threw on the first items that came to hand. Then he stood there for a while, gently smacking his head against the closet door and willing his heart rate to return to normal. 

He was still embarrassed. And it was embarrassing that he was embarrassed, so that pretty much meant he would never fully recover.

It was just…well, first of all, he’d fallen over. And if that weren’t enough, he’d definitely been completely naked at some point during the thirty seconds he was on the ground.

Now, Rin was exactly modest. Years and years of locker rooms had pretty much beaten any aversion to nudity out of him. But that was different. That was circumstantial nudity. Nudity with a _purpose_. 

 _This_ , on the other hand, had been some sort of horrible _freak-accident_. 

He just couldn’t believe it. Rei had been here for less than a minute, and it was entirely likely Rin had already traumatized him.

And he hadn’t even shown him the water stains yet.

Rin almost groaned again, but stopped himself just in time, since there was a good chance that Rei would hear him. Instead, he took a deep, bracing breath, and finally emerged from the sanctuary of his closet. Ignoring the hole—he needed to get a jump on breaking that habit anyway—Rin opted to enter Rei’s room through the door like a normal person. 

Rei stood in front of his bed, his back turned to Rin, unpacking neatly folded clothes from a suitcase. Rin lingered in the doorway, watching him. 

He was dressed pretty nicely, Rin observed, and it irked him somewhat that Rei managed to look so tidy after a plane ride, even it had only been a short one. Rin was usually a rumpled mess after travel of any sort, but Rei looked completely _fine._ His clothes were as impeccably pressed and wrinkle-free as they’d probably been when he’d put them on. 

It had been a long time since the two of them had been alone together. It really didn’t happen all that often. Not that he was nervous or anything. But…he’d already made things awkward, and he’d really been hoping to get off on a good start. 

And speaking of which, why the hell was _Rei_ being so calm about everything? He’d barely batted an eye at Rin flashing him and didn’t seem at all bothered by the state of the apartment. Were his glasses defective or something? He was just standing there, serenely sorting through his wardrobe when he _should_ have been throwing a fit! His complete lack of reaction was actually making things _worse_.

“—san…? Rin-san… RIN-SAN!” 

Rin jumped. “What!?” he cried. He hadn’t realized Rei had turned around and had been watching Rin stare at him.

“Are you _sure_ you’re alright?” Rei asked, crossing his arms and looking him over. “You didn’t hit your head when you fell, did you?” 

“Of course not,” Rin snapped, his already red face going a few shades darker.

They stood in silence, neither knowing quite what to say, which was exactly what Rin had been afraid of.

“You know what?” he blurted after a few moments, just as Rei opened his mouth. “I have to go to swim practice.”

Rei’s eyebrows furrowed. “Oh. Do you really?”

“Yup,” Rin nodded, already backing out of the room. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop and think about them. “Sorry. But, uh, there’s food in the fridge, and… and you’ve already seen the hole, so you’re all set. I’ll help you unpack later, if you want. And…yeah. So I’ll—I’ll see you later!”

He put his shoes on only halfway and bolted out the door, not stopping till he’d climbed the stairs and darted out the lobby door.

The fact that he had actually _run away_ from Rei didn’t hit him until he was leaning against the side of the building, trying to catch his breath. 

What the hell was wrong with him? 

There Rei was, alone for the first time in his life in a new city, and probably expecting to move in to a far nicer apartment than the one that had been provided for him, and what does Rin do?  He just up and ditches him like a coward because he can’t handle a little awkwardness.

Rin didn’t run away from things! And he _definitely_ didn’t get worked up over stupid shit like losing his towel and getting caught staring at people.

And what about _Rei_? Where was the uptight nerd Rin had been expecting? The glasses were there, but the attitude certainly wasn’t! This just wasn’t natural. _Rin_ was supposed to be the cool, calm, and collected one and Rei was supposed to be the screechy, neurotic one! There was some freaky role-reversal shit going on here, and Rin wanted out. 

With that in mind, he gave himself a few more minutes to recover, then pushed himself off the wall and resolved to go back in there and start again, but with the right dynamic this time.  

And the way he would do that was to get Rei to actually _react_ to his surroundings. He’d probably had enough time to absorb everything by now, Rin reasoned. He’d cleaned it pretty well, but the place was still pretty horrific. Rei couldn’t keep up the zen front for long. And once the inevitable meltdown occurred, Rin could snap back into the role of levelheaded senpai, calm him down, and voila—order and balance restored to the universe. Yeah…that’s what he’d do. Sort of a “tear-him-down-and-build-him-back-up” type thing… 

Nodding to himself, Rin started back up the steps, eager to enact his plan. _What would send Rei over edge?_ he wondered. _The broken window, perhaps? Or maybe a really thorough reexamination of the hole…?_

Lost in thought, Rin reached for the handle of the door to the lobby and nearly lost his balanced when it was yanked open from the inside.

Straightening himself, Rin glared up at the person responsible.

And they glared right back at him.

“Matsuoka,” Mikoshiba said shortly. “There you are.”

Rin took an involuntary step back. Mikoshiba reached out, wrapped an arm around his neck, and dragged him inside.

“What’s your _problem_?” he choked out, grabbing at Mikoshiba’s arm as he was pulled toward the stairs. “Lemme go!”

“So, here’s a funny story,” Mikoshiba began pleasantly, not loosening his chokehold, “I was just downstairs with Ryugazaki-kun—I wanted to see how he was doing, ya know? It’s his first time coming to Tokyo by himself, right? That’s gotta be a little nerve-wracking—So, anyway, there I am, having a nice chat with him, and it suddenly occurs to me that there’s a distinct lack of hostility and unpleasantness in the air. So naturally, I asked where him where _you_ were, and you know what he said to me? He said you went to swim practice, and _oh dear, Mikoshiba-san, that must mean you need to go as well, Please forgive me, I hope I wasn’t keeping you!_ Etcetera, etcetera.” Mikoshiba stopped at the top of the stairs and let go of Rin, who looked down and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. 

“Honestly, Matsuoka,” Mikoshiba continued, eyeing him angrily. “I have no idea what your problem is, but you’re gonna go back in there and at least _pretend_ you’re a decent person for a little while. I mean, _what,_ did you not want to help him unpack so much that you really felt the need to _lie_ to get out of it?”

“It wasn’t that,” Rin mumbled.

“Well, you’re being weird, so whatever it is, you need to get over it. Ryugazaki-kun’s doing you a huge favor with this whole apartment thing, and it’s your responsibility to make him feel comfortable here. As his _friend_ as well as his senpai. I know you have it in you.” He crossed his arms over his chest, still glaring fiercely.

“You don’t need to lecture me,” Rin said, still hanging his head. “I was already on my way back." 

“Then march,” Mikoshiba commanded, shoving him between the shoulder blades. He followed closely behind as Rin trudged unhappily down the stairs.

“Why does everyone keep going on about this ‘ _favor’_ thing?” Rin asked, turning to glance at him.

Mikoshiba looked back at him blankly. “…Because that’s what it is?" 

“Well, yeah, but it keeps getting thrown in my face and I really don’t—”

“Look sharp,” Mikoshiba cut him off. They’d arrived at the door, and without warning, Mikoshiba wrenched it open and shoved Rin inside.

“Ryugazaki-kun!” he called out.

A few seconds later, Rei emerged from his bedroom. When his eyes landed on Rin, his questioning look turned into one of surprise.

“Look who I found lurking outside the building like an absolute creep!” Mikoshiba said cheerfully, giving Rin one last push into the room. “Well, I’ll leave you guys to it. You behave yourself, Matsuoka, you hear?” He said it playfully, but something menacing flashed in his eyes and Rin found himself nodding at him in earnest.

He gave a friendly wave to Rei before heading out the door and slamming it shut behind him, leaving the two of them alone.

“...That was fast,” Rei said at length, and Rin, who had been staring after Mikoshiba, spun around to face him. “Your practice, I mean.”

“Oh,” Rin said, rubbing the back of his neck distractedly. “Well, you know me, Rei. I’m always fast. Gotta keep cutting those times, you know? You’re not a true professional until you can swim 30,000 meters in—” he glanced at his watch to check how long he’d been gone—“seven and a half minutes.”

The gaping silence that followed this pronouncement probably could have created a black hole if it had been allowed to continue. Luckily for the fabric of reality, however, the last vestige of Rin’s self-control chose that very moment to curl up and die.

He felt his lips twitch once—twice—and to his horror, he began to laugh. And it wasn’t just the awkward chucking he was usually prone to in these situations. No, it started out as a giggle and just snowballed from there until he was he was full on _howling_ at his own joke.

Apparently being mortally exhausted made him hilarious. He usually couldn’t do humor.

Rei was staring at him with his mouth slightly open. He looked confused and mildly concerned, and that just made Rin laugh harder.

Eyes watering, he bent over double and clutched his sides. “I’m sorry!” he tried to say, but all that came out was a wispy squeak followed by more laughter.

Finally, Rei cracked a smile and even laughed a tiny bit, though Rin knew he was probably just trying to be polite. It was beginning to occur to him that _no_ , exhaustion hadn’t made him funny—it had made him a _maniac_ , and he was going to scare Rei away for good if he didn’t pull himself together.

Taking a huge, shuddering breath, Rin straightened up. “I—pfft—I’m just—” he attempted to get out in between giggles as he wiped his eyes. Frustrated, he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, and finally, after one more deep breath, managed to wrangle back some control.

“I’m just kidding!” he declared. He was still grinning like an idiot, but at least he was coherent now.

“Really?” Rei said dryly, crossing his arms across his chest. “I never would have guessed!”

Rin laughed again and took a few steps further into the room, his mind running a mile minute trying to supply him with an explanation for his behavior earlier. “So… the thing is… I forgot there’s no practice today. The athletic teams always get Orientation Day off."

And luckily for him, that wasn’t even a complete lie. At least his excuse for running out on Rei still held water. Although, he knew he looked pretty suspicious, seeing as he hadn’t even taken his wallet with him, let alone his gym bag…

“I see,” said Rei, and he nodded thoughtfully to himself. “So that’s what it was.”

Oh. He bought it.

Rin felt some of the tension drain out of his shoulders and mentally patted himself on the back.

“I thought maybe you ran out because you were embarrassed,” Rei continued. “But I guess I was wrong.” He shrugged, and Rin almost choked on his own spit.

“ _Dead_ wrong! And you’re an _idiot_ if you even think—” He cut himself off, realizing it would probably be in his best interests to change the subject. “Anyway… the point is you’re stuck with me for the day. So let’s…unpack some shit?” He rubbed his hands together and looked around the room.

“Sure,” Rei said, and Rin could have sworn he looked like he was trying not to laugh. He felt his hackles rising once more, but before he could say anything, Rei added, “But I need to call my parents first to tell them I arrived.”

Rin deflated a bit. “Oh. Well, whenever you’re ready.”

He left Rei in the living room, went into the kitchen, and grabbed a box cutter out of one of the drawers. Then he went into Rei’s room and promptly began hacking at every box he crossed paths with, slicing through the strips of tape sealing them closed and ripping the flaps apart with perhaps a _little_ more violence than necessary.

It was very therapeutic.

A few minutes later Rin straightened up, wiping his brow and feeling a hundred times better for having taken some of his frustration out on Rei’s stuff. He wandered back into the living room, deftly twirling the box cutter between his fingers and whistling quietly to himself. Rei was sitting on the couch, fiddling with his phone. He looked up when Rin entered.

“Everything ok?” Rin asked.

“Of course,” said Rei, blinking up at him.

“You _sure_ about that?”

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

They stared at each other, Rei almost defiantly. Finally, unable to take it any more, Rin let out a sigh.

“Look, Rei, you don’t have to pretend,” he said, bringing a hand up to rub awkwardly at the back of his head. “I know the place looks awful.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Rin-san,” said Rei, his eyes widening innocently.

“Oh, come off it,” Rin snapped. “You can’t be serious. Have you actually looked with your _eyes_? Look at that window—” He pointed to the other side of the room with his box cutter. “It’s totally cracked! And the paint’s all uneven and messed up, and the carpet’s clearly seen better days. I mean, I did what I could before you got here, but the place is complete trash. You saw the hole! Don’t act like you’re ok with that! You know, we’ll probably _die_ down here from asbestos or something, and you’re just sitting there like it’s no big deal! Like, do you not get it? This is where you _live_ now, Rei! And I’m the one responsible for that! Aren’t you pissed at me? Don’t you wanna get out while you still can? I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I mean, seriously—save yourself!” He glared blazingly at Rei, nearly panting after getting himself all worked up again.

Rei, who had remained quiet for the duration of Rin’s tirade, stared back at him bemusedly. Then he took a deep breath and began, “I…will admit, it’s not _at all_ what I was expecting…”

 _Alright, here it comes_ , Rin thought, steeling himself for the onslaught. The meltdown. This was what he’d been waiting for.

“…But it’s nothing insurmountable. I’m sure we’ll be fine if just we remain positive. And make a few repairs, of course.” He smiled benevolently at Rin, looking completely at peace with the world and his crappy new living situation.

Rin stared at him for a few moments before finally letting out the breath he’d been holding in anticipation and allowing his shoulders to slump forward in defeat.

“Alright.  _Fine_. You win.”

“I win?” Rei repeated blankly. Which made sense. It wasn't like he _knew_ he’d just overcome an attempt to bait him into revealing his true hysterical-nerd-self.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Rin ignored him and continued, “You’ve only been here twenty minutes and you’ve already defied all of my expectations.” He raised his eyes to meet Rei’s, trying not to show how let down he felt. “Nice going, Rei. You’re an A-plus roommate already.”

“…You don’t actually sound like you mean that,” Rei huffed. He regarded Rin with something like suspicion. “What exactly were you expecting?”

“Nothing.” Rin shrugged. “It’s just…Normally you’d be yelling your head off about how un-beautiful everything is and blaming me for it.” He came around the coffee table and added with a slightly sour smile, “But I guess you’ve grown up a bit, huh? I’ll just have to get used to it. I’m actually kind of impressed. You’re handling things much better than I did." 

He reached out to pat him on the shoulder, but to Rin’s surprise, Rei glared at him and batted his hand away. “Just what kind of opinion do you have of me?” he snapped. “ _‘I guess you’ve grown up a bit?_ ’ Honestly, Rin-san, don’t patronize me. I don’t think I’ve said or done anything that unusual.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Rin backed off, holding up his hands in surrender.  He wasn’t exactly pleased with the way this conversation had turned out and really just wanted to put an end to it. “Whatever, Rei. We were gonna unpack your stuff, right? Let’s go do that before I change my mind about helping you.”

Rei looked like he wanted argue, but seemed to change his mind. “Fine,” he said, rising from the couch to follow Rin. 

Sensing that the atmosphere between them had become something less than amicable, Rin cleared his throat and glanced back at him. “So,” he said, trying for some small talk, “What do you think of the couch?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Rin winced at Rei’s slightly icy tone, but bravely soldiered on. “You were sitting on the couch just now, and I wanted to know what you thought of it. Was it comfortable?”

“…I suppose?” Rei said, giving him a strange look. 

“Oh. Well, then maybe we shouldn’t get rid of it.”

Rei stopped in his tracks and crossed his arms. _“Why_ would we get rid of the couch you brought?” he asked, looking and sounding as though he thought Rin was winding him up.

Rin stopped just in front of Rei’s room and crossed his arms as well, turning to face him directly. “Because I _didn’t_ bring it,” he said, just as testily. “It was already there when I got here.”

“Wait…so that isn’t _your_ couch?”

Rin shook his head. “Hell no. You think I would choose that color? Whoever lived here last must have left it behind. Can’t really blame them, of course. I haven’t even sat on it yet. I was afraid it was contaminated or something.” He laughed, but Rei looked completely horrified.

“Oh, my God,” he said faintly. “I sat on it. I sat on it for nearly _six_ _minutes_. Oh, my God.”

“Rei?” Rin took a step toward him and peered at his face, having to tilt his head back slightly to look into Rei’s eyes.

Wait. What? When had _that_ become necessary? They were the same height, weren’t they?

But before Rin could investigate this alarming development further, Rei suddenly stumbled backwards, ripping off his cardigan with shocking violence. Then he pointed a shaking finger at Rin.

“Rin-san! I… _I can’t believe you let me sit there_!”

Rin blinked. “…Huh?”

“How could you just stand there and allow me to unknowingly subject myself to something like that? Why didn’t you get rid of it right away? Do you know what people _do_ on furniture? For all we know that thing is completely ridden with microbials and any number of infectious diseases that we’ve left ourselves wide open to! Not to mention all the molds and allergens that have probably been making themselves right at home within the fibers of the fabric! I mean, _what,_ you just walked in here on your first day, saw that some stranger’s couch was sitting in your living room, and thought, ‘Oh, no big deal, I’m sure _that’s_ completely sanitary,’ and decided not to do anything about it? Were you waiting for _me_ to sit on it, perhaps? You didn’t want to risk it yourself, so you figured I could test it out for you? Are you trying to _kill_ me? And furthermore, not only is that unhygienic, it’s also completely disgusting! I bet if we put it under a black light, it would reveal countless stains from foods and drinks and _bodily fluids_! Honestly, Rin-san, how could you be so negligent? No, I’m serious, I genuinely want to know whether you just don’t _care_ or if you’re _actually an idiot!”_ Rei broke off, his chest heaving.

Rin stared at him. His mouth had fallen open somewhere in the middle of Rei’s rant, and he hastened to shut it. Still slightly in shock, he reached out cautiously. “Uh, Rei,” he began, but Rei put up a hand.

“If you’ll excuse me, Rin-san,” he said unsteadily, “I have to take a shower. I only hope I’m not too late.” And with that, he stumbled toward the bathroom in almost zombielike state, dragging his cardigan on the floor behind him.

He slammed the door shut, and Rin stared after him, feeling something bubbling up in stomach. And what that something was, he realized, was triumph.

Oddly enough.

Because _that_ — That right there was the Rei he knew.

So. It was the _couch_ that did it in the end. Intersting. Rin hadn’t even considered that possibility. He’d really thought it was going to be the hole.  After all, the hole had been _his_ personal downfall, back on that first day with Mikoshiba.

Well, whatever. The nerd was the nerd once again, and all was right with the world.

Rin leaned against the wall outside of Rei’s door and glanced over at the couch, laughing to himself. He’d been so in shock at the time that he hadn’t really registered much of what Rei was actually saying, but he’d gotten the gist of it. _Rei really is something else_ , he thought, grinning. Honestly, there were no infectious diseases lurking in that couch. It was an eyesore and half, for sure, but it was harmless.

They were totally keeping it, Rin decided. He was suddenly way too fond of it to get rid of it.

A sudden shriek from the bathroom knocked him out of his thoughts. It was slightly muffled by the water from the shower, and Rin intuitively knew what had caused it. He hadn’t gotten a chance to tell Rei how to work the shower. If you went in to soon, the stream would be too powerful. Rin had nearly been knocked over the first time he’d tried to use it. Sounded like Rei had run into some trouble with that.

He started laughing again, ambled to the bathroom door, and started pounding on it. “Sorry, Rei,” he called out. “The water pressure here is really messed up. Just give it a minute and it’ll even out.”

“You could have mentioned that earlier!” came Rei’s pained reply.

“Oh, and don’t turn the handle too far to the left. It’ll get really—” There was another scream, and Rin winced. “—really _cold_.”

Rei said something unintelligible, and Rin backed away from the door in case he gave up on the shower and decided to beat Rin up instead.

Oh, that reminded him.

He went into Rei’s room and searched around for the box labeled ‘ _bath linens,’_ snorting to himself at Rei’s prissy choice in phrasing. Why couldn’t he just call them _towels,_ like a normal person? Rin grabbed one out of the box, went to the door connecting Rei’s room to the bathroom, which Rei had left unlocked, and deposited the towel on the counter for Rei to use when he was finished.

 

* * *

 

Fifteen minutes later, Rei emerged from his room looking damp and disgruntled. Rin glanced at him, shut off the TV, and stood up from where he’d been lounging on the couch. “You survived!” he cried, and Rei shot him a dirty look. He’d changed his clothes and everything, but apparently he still wasn’t over it.

Rin sighed. “Alright, alright. I’m very sorry I didn’t tell you about the couch. Now, can we _finally_ unpack your boxes like we were supposed to be doing? We’ve wasted a ton of time.”

“And whose fault is that?” Rei asked stiffly.

 _Yours_ , Rin almost retorted, but thought better of it. He was in a much better mood now, and he didn’t want to ruin it. “Whatever,” he said instead. Then he grabbed Rei by the arm and towed him back into his room.

The next hour actually passed rather pleasantly. Once they started unpacking for real, Rei seemed to forget about his earlier annoyance and mellowed out considerably. They chatted amiably about their friends and Rei’s trip to Europe, which, from what Rin was able to glean from Rei’s passionate testimony, had been absolutely beautiful. The architecture, the food, the people, the art, the postcards—all beautiful.

They were able to work quickly. Rei’s methods of organization were quite similar to Rin’s own, so he needed little instruction as to what went where, and while it was true that Rei had brought a pretty large amount of stuff, a lot of it was household items that would be of use to both of them. He’d even brought the vacuum Rin had requested.

“I thought you were kidding at first,” Rei confessed when Rin pointed it out. “But I see now that it was actually a pretty clear cry for help.”

“I don’t kid when it comes to this sort of thing,” Rin said darkly. He paused in the act of stacking dishes by the door to be taken out to the kitchen later and glanced at Rei. “You should have seen this place before I did maintenance on it. It really was awful. I don’t care what Mikoshiba says. This apartment has zero redeeming features... Oh, hey! Now that there’s two of us, maybe we can beat that idiot up.”

He’d briefly explained the situation to Rei when they’d first begun unpacking. Rei hadn’t had much to say about it, and Rin was sure that was because he was probably thinking what an idiot Rin was and didn’t want to insult him.

“You know it’s not his fault, Rin-san,” Rei said admonishingly. He had been hanging clothes up, but now he stopped and leaned against the closet door, putting a hand up to his chin. “Hmm. If you can get me a copy of the agreement you signed, I’ll look it over. We’re likely stuck here for the long haul, but I might be able to find a way to get you some compensation.”

Rin found that rather amusing. “Well, if you think you're up to it. You planning a career in law or something?”

Rei let out a small laugh. “Not at all. I just want to make sure. Chances are I won’t come up with anything, but I’ll feel better knowing I tried.”

Rin nodded thoughtfully. “Well, Mikoshiba seemed to think it was all pretty cut-and-dry, but what the hell does he know? You’re clever. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

“…Right,” Rei said, but his face had fallen and he didn’t look as confident as he had a few moments ago.

“But no pressure!” Rin added quickly. “I mean, it _is_ my fault, after all. I really just need to toughen up and accept my punishment. I was in a hurry to find an apartment, for sure, but I probably could have been smarter about it. I’m just sorry I had to go and drag you down along with me.”

“I…I don’t really think it’s your fault, either,” Rei said quietly, frowning. “At least not entirely. And I wouldn’t say you ‘dragged me down.’ I made the decision to live here all on my own.” He sounded strangely resolute, stubborn even, and Rin looked at him curiously.

Almost as if he could somehow sense Rin’s confusion, Rei hastily changed the subject. “However, the question right now,” he said playfully, “is what we’re going to about that hole.”

“Hm? Oh. Yeah, that _is_ still a problem, isn’t it?”

“Indeed,” said Rei. His gaze was fixed across the room at the hole. He tilted his head and squinted at it.

“We’ll have to wait for the building manager to get back from her trip to do anything legit,” Rin informed him. “But Haru actually had a good idea the other day. He said we should stack your books in front of it. What do you think?”

 “You can’t be serious. We are not putting my books on the _floor.”_

“Why not? It’s not like there’s anywhere else to put them. In case you haven’t noticed, there’s not a whole lot of shelf-space around here.”

“I’ll make do,” Rei said firmly. “If you’re so in love with the idea, why don’t we use _your_ books?”

“Don’t be an idiot!” Rin snapped, slightly affronted. “Fine. Forget the books. What else can we do?”

“Well, I do have _one_ idea…” Rei said hesitantly. “Give me a second.” He held up a finger and crossed to the room to one of the boxes labeled ' _spare bedding_.' Rin watched as he rummaged around inside it for moment before pulling something out with a small cry of triumph. He then went back over to Rin and held it out to him proudly.

“Oh,” said Rin, not entirely sure what he was looking at. “Um. Really?”

“What?” Rei said defensively. “Do you have any better ideas?”

“Well, _no,_ but…” He trailed off as Rei began unfolding the blanket he’d brought out. Now able to see the full extent of it, Rin couldn’t help the way his heart sank.

Obviously, it was a butterfly print. The fleecy material was blue and covered in a myriad of small, multicolored butterflies. The blanket itself was fairly large and held together by edges that had been cut into strips and tied together.

“Rei,” Rin began, shaking his head in a sort of astonished resignation. “Where did you get that?”

“Nagisa-kun made it for me as a graduation gift!” Rei beamed. “Isn’t it lovely? I’m quite a fan of this method of tying the edges together. It’s reversible, see?” He flipped a corner over, revealing the underside of the blanket, which…was another butterfly pattern. Green background this time.

Rin stared at it. “Tell me something, Rei,” he eventually said. “Did your obsession with butterflies come before or after you started swimming?”

“I don’t know,” Rei said evenly, adjusting his glasses. “Did your fixation on sharks come before or after your teeth mutated?”

“Oh, _shut up_ ,” Rin growled. He took deep breath. “So. This blanket. I suppose you want to…”

“Hang it in front of the hole? Yes." Rei nodded.

Rin grimaced, his mind scrambling to supply him with a different option. “I don’t have a problem with that,” he said carefully. “But…are you sure you want to use that particular blanket?”

“Of course!” Rei said. “Why not? It’s beautiful, isn’t it? All the colors and whatnot? I really feel that if we have to cover the hole up with something, it might as well be something that’s nice to look at. Don’t you agree?”

Damn. There was no way out of it. Not without insulting Rei, which Rin really didn’t want to do. Not when he was being this endearingly earnest. Even if that was the most garish fabric Rin had ever seen. Well, what else could you expect from Nagisa?

“I… _yes_ ,” he forced out. “That’s a good idea. And I cannot for the life of me think of any alternatives.” _Unfortunately_.

The way Rei’s face lit up made it almost worth it. “Really? I’m so glad you feel that way, Rin-san! Alright, hold on for a moment. I’ll get something to hang it with.”

Rin nodded and smiled weakly at him, and he darted off to his desk and began digging through a box labeled ‘ _office supplies_.’

God. Was being nice always this exhausting? This _was_ what Nagisa and Haru had meant about being nice, right? Had they somehow seen this exact moment—or something similar—coming? Seemed unlikely, but then again, they knew Rei better than he did.

Rei retrieved a box of tacks, stood in front of the hole, and gestured for Rin to join him. “Don’t just sit there, Rin-san. Come help me put it up.”

Rin rose wearily to his feet from where he’d been sitting cross-legged on the floor and shuffled over to Rei.

“Which side do you prefer?” Rei inquired.

“What?” 

“Which side of the blanket do you want facing your room?” 

Rin raised his eyebrows. “I really don’t have a preference,” he said honestly, although he was rather touched Rei bothered to ask.

“Very well. I’m a bit more partial to the blue side, myself. I find blue to be a very soothing color. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Not even a little bit,” Rin assured him.

“Oh good,” Rei said, looking relieved. He held out one side of the blanket for Rin to take and they got to work tacking it over the hole. 

As they worked side-by-side, Rin stole a glance at Rei, who was too deep in concentration to notice, and he realized that his earlier suspicions had been correct. Much to his displeasure. 

“Hey, Rei." 

“Hm?” Rei turned to him and removed a tack he’d been holding between his lips. “What is it?”

“You got taller, didn’t you?” Rin said accusingly. 

“Oh,” Rei grimaced and he lowered his eyes somewhat bashfully. “Is it that noticeable?” 

“Well, yeah!” Rin said, stabbing a tack into the wall with a little more force than necessary. “We used to be the same height, didn’t we? What the hell happened?” 

“I don’t know,” said Rei, blushing faintly. “It's not like I did it on purpose. I mean, I _did_ increase my vegetable intake last year so as to set an example for the underclassmen on the swim team. Maybe that had something to do with it…” He trailed off uncertainly and Rin shook his head in wonder. 

“How much?”

“By about 60%, I’d say. Mostly of the leafy, green variety.”

“Not the vegetables, idiot. How much did you _grow?_ I can’t tell from here.”

“Oh. Around four centimeters. Maybe a little more.” 

Rin winced. “Geez. That must have hurt.” 

“Not really. It was spaced out enough over the last twelve months or so that I didn’t even notice it was happening.” 

“Huh,” Rin said, eyeing him critically. “I’m not sure I like it.”

Rei smirked at him and stood up even straighter than he already was, which Rin wouldn’t have thought possible. “What’s wrong, Rin-san? Jealous?”

“Of course not!” Rin snapped, a little embarrassed. He probably was making too big a deal out of it. “Actually, it sounds pretty inconvenient, if you ask me,” he continued mockingly. “I bet you had to replace all of your pants.” 

Rei let out a boastful laugh. “As a matter of fact, I did. And all my shirts, as well. You _could_ say I got an entirely new wardrobe out of it.” 

“Ah. See, you shouldn’t have told me that 'cause now I really am jealous,” Rin said, and Rei laughed again, normally this time. Rin felt himself go slightly red.

He turned away and refocused his attention on tacking the blanket up. A few minutes later, once it was securely fastened to the wall and they’d run out of thumbtacks, the two of them stepped back to admire their work.

Rei was smiling proudly. “I think this will do quite nicely, don’t you Rin-san?”

“Yeah, sure,” Rin said grimly. “I mean, it’s covered up now, so that’s something.”

“We both have some privacy now, at the very least,” Rei agreed. “Of course, the material isn’t thick enough to act as a sound barrier. I’m not entirely sure what we’ll do about that.”

“Well,” Rin said jocularly, elbowing him in the side. “Just don’t go around making any weird noises, and we’ll be fine.” He sniggered to himself, expecting that to go right over Rei’s head, but much to his surprise, Rei raised an eyebrow at him.

“Same goes for you,” he said, and Rin immediately stopped laughing and frowned at him.

They spent a few more moments looking at the blanket, Rei fussily tugging at the edges and adjusting a few of the tacks. Once he was satisfied, he stepped back once more, put his hands on his hips and smiled at Rin. “We're all set now. What do you think?”

“It’s…a little embarrassing,” he admitted.

“Well, _I_ think it’s beautiful.”

Yeah,” Rin sighed. “I know you do.”

And suddenly he found that he didn't actually mind it as much as he thought he did. While he wasn’t exactly thrilled that the first thing he saw when he woke up in the morning was going to be a bright, multicolored butterfly-monstrosity, he knew beggars couldn’t be choosers. Plus…it seemed to make Rei happy, and there was nothing wrong with that as far as Rin was concerned.

He glanced at Rei, who was still smiling contentedly at their handiwork, and he couldn’t help smiling a little himself. It seemed he’d been worried for nothing.

Maybe living with Rei wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, that was really gross and fluffy, I'm so sorry. 11,000 words is a really ridiculous build up for something like that. I'm pretty disgusted with myself. I mean, they're not even in love yet and they're already all sappy like that. Also, can I just say that I really think Rin isn't used to people laughing at his jokes? He just seems like that sort of person. Like people only think he's funny when he's not trying to be, so he gets really shocked when someone actually laughs when he wants them to. Same goes for Rei, actually. They're so perfect for each other *dreamy sigh*  
> Btw, in case you can't tell, this thing is called 100 Percent because I made Rin 100% more shoujo than he actually is. (jk, jk) 
> 
> Anyways, I'm reilly sorry that took forever. Luckily, rinter breik starts next week, so i'll be able to write (and possibly update) more freiquently. Next time: More characters show up and omg maybe even some plot???
> 
> Thanks to everyone who read/commented/left kudos!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei talks to strangers and Rin is reminded left and right that he is a horrible person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a mess. I'm so sorry. 99% of it was written between 1 and 3 in the morning over the course of a month. I actually had to cut the bottom of it off or else it would have been even longer than the last chapter. But the good news is that means part of ch4 is already written!

They continued working into the late afternoon, not stopping until they both became too hungry to concentrate. Luckily, they were almost finished at that point, so Rei released Rin from his duties so he could go out to get them something to eat.

 And it was a testament to just how much his mood had improved that when he was greeted upon his return by an extremely lively Mikoshiba, he didn’t even bat an eye.

 “You again? Don’t you have anything better to do with your day off?” Rin asked as Mikoshiba followed him down the stairs.

 “Well, yeah, normally I would, but my doubles partner cancelled on me. And what better way to burn off all my untapped tennis-energy than making the long journey downstairs to visit my neighbors?”

 Rin unlocked the door and swung it open. “Rei!” he called out. “Food!”

 “Oh, good,” said Mikoshiba as he sidled past Rin into the room. “I was actually kind of worried you’d forget to feed him. Glad you’re being responsible.”

 Rin glared at him. “You’re acting like he’s some stray dog I picked up. I’m not his caretaker. I just felt like getting lunch.”

 Mikoshiba held up a placating hand. “Don’t get your panties in a twist. All I meant was that it’s nice to see you’ve gotten yourself together since this morning.”

 “Shut up,” Rin growled. “I change my mind about letting you in here. Get out.”

 Rei emerged from his bedroom just then. He seemed surprised to see Mikoshiba there again, but by no means displeased, and warmly invited him further into the apartment.

  _That was one downside about Rei moving in_ , Rin thought glumly a few minutes later as he followed the two of them into Rei’s room so Mikoshiba could see the work they’d done in there. _He no longer had sole jurisdiction over who was and wasn’t allowed inside._

 He had to give Mikoshiba credit, though. The guy managed to keep a straight face throughout Rei’s enthusiastic retelling of the conception and execution of the Blanket Plan. He nodded along attentively and praised Rei for his ingenuity.

It wasn’t until Rei had scurried off to the kitchen to prepare some refreshments that Mikoshiba turned to Rin and fixed him with a wide grin.

 “Don’t,” Rin said, cutting him off before he could make any sort of comment. They left Rei’s room and settled themselves on the floor in front of the coffee table in the living room. “Just forget you saw that,” he added in an undertone. He didn't _think_ Rei could hear them from the kitchen, but he wasn't going to take any chances.

 “Aw, come on! It’s adorable!”

 “It’s temporary.”

 “Whatever. But man,” Mikoshiba turned so he could watch Rei bustling cheerfully about the kitchen. “You lucked out, Matsuoka. You were so worried about how he was going to react to this place, but it seems like he’s taken everything in stride.”

 “Yeah,” Rin agreed, glancing at Rei as well. Then he shook head. “Truth be told, I’m still not entirely sure what that’s about.”

 “He’s probably just more mature than you are.”

 “Excuse me?”

 “He’s also a much better host,” Mikoshiba added thoughtfully. “So polite and everything. Clearly Ryugazaki-kun is going to be running this place in no time.”

 Rin glared at him as he began to laugh. “It’s like a TV show, if you think about it! You’ve got the super-charming sparkly guy and the socially inept grouchy guy living in the same apartment. Guess which one you are?”

 “What is it with people badmouthing me on my own turf!” Rin snapped, half-rising from the floor. But before he could commence a physical attempt to kick Mikoshiba out, Rei strolled out of the kitchen, armed with a tea tray and a beatific smile.

 “Sorry for the wait,” he said, sitting down next to Rin, who was halfway to his feet, about to launch himself across the table at their guest. Rei glanced up at him. “Is everything alright?”

 “Yup,” said Mikoshiba. He reached out and yanked the bottom of Rin’s shirt, forcing him back down. “We were just talking about how lucky it is that Matsuoka ended up living with someone so adept at the whole ‘hospitality’ thing. He’s been living the dormitory life too long, poor thing. Probably couldn’t entertain his way out of a paper bag.”

 “Oh,” Rei said uncertainly. He glanced at Rin, who crossed his arms and looked away, desperately wishing he could throw something. Preferably at Mikoshiba’s stupid head. “…There’s no need to go that far. It’s just green tea. Nothing to write home about.” He shrugged apologetically.

 “Well, either way,” Mikoshiba said lightly, “thanks a lot.”

 “Thanks,” Rin echoed, accepting a cup from Rei. He smiled at him briefly and then went right back to sulking.

 “So,” Mikoshiba said a few minutes later, once they were all sipping at their tea. “I must say, I’m truly honored to be your first official guest.” He smiled fondly at the two boys sitting across from him and let out a contented sigh. “God, you guys look so domestic. It’s the cutest thing. Can I take a picture?”

 “Do it and I’ll kill you,” said Rin with a pleasant smile that showed every single one of his teeth.

 “ _Alrighty_ then.” Mikoshiba flipped his phone closed and slipped it back into his pocket. Then he leaned back and looked from Rin to Rei. “Anyway. Seems like you’re pretty much done unpacking. What’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?”

 “Sleep,” Rin responded without hesitation.

 “Ah,” Mikoshiba said with an understanding look. “Yeah, I bet you could use some of that.”

 “Are you not feeling well, Rin-san?” Rei asked, turning to face him more fully. He regarded Rin with concern.

 “Nah, I’m fine. Just dead tired, that’s all.”

 “We got stuck with some busy-work after practice last night and didn’t get out until about three in the morning,” Mikoshiba explained. “What time did you end up going to bed, Matsuoka? You were muttering to yourself about sponges and wood polish when you ran out of the sports center. Did you actually manage to finish everything on your list?”

 “Of course I finished,” Rin said into his cup. “I said I would, didn’t I?”

 He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he suddenly felt kind of embarrassed.

 And that feeling increased tenfold at Mikoshiba’s next words, which were directed Rei. “Matsuoka’s been running around like a madman the entire week, trying to get this place ready for you. I’ve never seen anyone tackle something so single-mindedly before. It’s actually pretty impressive he got it all done in time. He worked really hard.”

 Oh, God. He knew Mikoshiba was probably trying to compliment him, but it sounded so _uncool_ when he put it like that. Honestly, was he trying to make Rin look like the biggest loser on the planet? He’d done his best to downplay the whole thing when he was explaining things to Rei earlier, saying something to the extent of  “I had to spray this and wipe that,” as opposed to the actual truth: that he’d spent the last week on his knees, elbow deep in bleach, and practically married to a bucket and rag. He’d nearly cleaned himself into a coma. And he’d done it all for Rei. _Well_ —all so Rei wouldn’t _murder_ him. But still.  

 Rei was staring at him now, and Rin resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands.

 “You…really didn’t have to do that,” Rei said, his eyes softening.

 “I told you before it wasn’t a big deal,” Rin mumbled. “And it’s not like I just did it for you. I have my own standards, you know.”

 “I see,” Rei nodded slowly. “That’s a relief. I would hate to think you went to that much trouble on my account.”

 “Well, that’s good…’cause I didn’t.”

They both stared down at their tea.

 Mikoshiba, who had been watching their exchange with interest, let them sit there like that for moment before breaking the silence. “Anyway, what are you up to this afternoon, Ryugazaki-kun? Something a bit more interesting than Matsuoka’s big date with his mattress, I hope?”

 “Not really,” said Rei. “There’s a reception for new students in little while. I was thinking I might go to that.”

 “Oh, right!” Mikoshiba smacked himself on the forehead. “I forgot about that! Which is funny, since I wasted a good portion of my night setting up for it. Well, that sounds like a good plan. I don’t really remember too much from when I went as a first year, but I’m sure it was a valuable experience. Right Matsuoka?”

 “Hm?” Rin looked up from his tea, having zoned out of the conversation. “Oh. Yeah. They give you stuff…like maps and pamphlets.”

 “I do like maps and pamphlets,” Rei said.

 “Then you’ll probably have a _great_ time there, you nerd,” Rin replied through a yawn. He wished they could hurry this up. The tea was making him even sleepier than he already was.

 “Hey, I have an idea!” Mikoshiba suddenly cried. “You should take Matsuoka with you. It’s no fun going to those things by yourself.”

 Rin and Rei both shot him horrified looks, but before either of them could say anything, Mikoshiba glanced at his watch and said, “Whoops, I didn’t realize it was 3:30 already! I gotta go feed Yasuya-san’s cat. She’s got him on this special diet because—sorry, you don’t care about that. Anyway, I’ll just let myself out.” He got up and headed for the door. “Thanks for the tea! Have fun at the reception, you two!”

 The door slammed and they stared at it for a few seconds before Rei cleared his throat and asked tentatively, “Who’s Yasuya-san?”

 “The building manager,” Rin  muttered darkly.

 “The one who’s away on vacation?”

 “Yeah.”

 The air around them had gone quiet again, giving Rin ample opportunity to appreciate just how artfully Mikoshiba had boxed him in. He did his damage and ran, leaving Rin, as he so often did, feeling pissed off and inexplicably guilty.

 Sighing, he turned to Rei. “What time is that thing of yours?”

 Rei started slightly. “The reception, you mean?” he asked, and Rin nodded impatiently.

 “Four. But…you don’t have to come with me, Rin-san.”

 Ignoring that, Rin pushed himself to his feet and checked his watch. “We should head out soon, then. It’ll probably get crowded.”

 So much for sleeping. Too bad. He’d really been looking forward to conking out for the next eighteen hours.

 “Are you listening to me?” Rei rose to his feet as well and glared at Rin. “I said you don’t have to come.”

 “Yeah, I do,” Rin snapped back. “Or else I’ll never hear the end of it from Mikoshiba about how I’m shirking my responsibilities as your senpai or whatever.” He knew perfectly well that Mikoshiba hadn’t been making a friendly suggestion so much as issuing an order. It was his modus operandi, and Rin got caught in it _every single time._

 “Well if that’s your motivation, then I _really_ don’t want you to come. I’m not a child, Rin-san. I’m perfectly capable of going places by myself.” He pushed up his glasses and glared imposingly at Rin. Then he ruined it by adding, “I just need you to give me detailed directions to the venue.”

 Rin shook his head. “It’ll be faster if I just show you. Go get ready and meet me back here in two minutes.”

 “But…weren’t you going to…?” Rei trailed off unhappily, wringing his hands, and Rin smiled in spite of himself.

 “Look,” he said, punching him gently in the shoulder. “I don’t really mind. It’s probably a better idea for me to not fuck up my sleeping schedule any more than I already have, so it’s cool. Oh—unless you genuinely _don’t_ want me there.”

 People went to those things to socialize, right? Rei probably wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone with an out of place second year hanging around him.

 Rei seemed surprised, however. “No, I…I don’t mind. If you really want to come…then I’d be grateful for the company, actually.”

 “Alright then. Let’s go,” Rin huffed. _Geez_. Why did Rei have to make everything into a big production?

 It occurred to him as he was waiting for Rei to get his wallet from his room that he probably could be a little more gracious about the whole thing.

But then again. It wasn’t like it had been his idea.

* * *

 

It was about a fifteen-minute walk to the sports complex. When they arrived at the main building, the lobby was already packed with people. Each department and club had a table set up along the perimeter of the room, and representatives were passing out catalogs and talking to the students crowded around them. A great deal of activity was also taking place in the center of the room, where people were standing in groups of various sizes and chatting with each other as they nibbled idly on refreshments.

 It was a lively affair, Rin noted, and he was glad that all the work he’d put into helping set up for it didn’t seem to be going to waste. It was too bad the music being piped in though speakers on either side of the room combined with the sound of about fifty conversations going on at once was sort of giving him a headache.

 He felt Rei fidget beside him and turned to look at him. He was staring anxiously over the heads of the people in the middle of the room, his eyes trained on the opposite wall, where a majority of the information tables were located. Rin could practically _hear_ his brain trying to work out how he was going to get through to the other side without having to stop and talk to anyone.

 “Have fun,” Rin said with a smirk, giving Rei a small push. Rei shot him an aggrieved look over his shoulder as he stumbled in to the fray.

 Laughing to himself, Rin began making his way along the edge of the room, eventually finding a relatively quiet corner to camp out in, away from some of the noise and people. He leaned against the wall and watched in amusement as Rei attempted to wade through an ocean of his peers. He wondered if he’d be able to make it all the way to the tables without being roped into a conversation at least once.

 “Hey,” someone said next to him.

 Startled, Rin turned his head to look at the person who had come up beside him.

 Haru looked back at him with a raised eyebrow.

 “Don’t sneak up on me like that!” Rin cried. “Wait, what the hell are you even doing here?”

 “What about you?”

 “Isn’t it obvious? I'm Rei’s moral support."

 “That’s why I’m here, too.”

 “Seriously?”

 “No.” Haru shook his head and held up a plate of food. “I just wanted the free stuff. It didn’t even occur to me that Rei would be at this thing.”

 Rin stared at him. In addition to the plate laden with various hors d’oeuvres and dessert items in his hand, there was also an “office of student events” t-shirt draped over one of his arms, a small, matching tote bag hanging off his shoulder, a baseball cap with the university’s logo emblazoned on the front sitting on top of his head, and in the hand that wasn’t holding the plate was a foam drink cozy with a cutesy version of the school mascot on it. He also had key chains from three different departments dangling from his fingers and a plastic water bottle under one arm.

 Rin was mildly disgusted by the entire picture.

 “Do you do this often? Just crash events you’re not invited to so you can get all this useless crap?”

 “For _free,”_ Haru said, as though that somehow made all the difference. Then he frowned to himself and looked from the hand holding the drink-cozy and key chains to the one holding the plate of food. Grunting, he attempted to maneuver the cozy underneath the same arm that was currently pinning the water bottle to his side.

 As soon as he lifted his arm, the water bottle fell to the floor. He grimaced and made to bend down to pick it up, but Rin beat him to it.

 “This is _embarrassing,”_ he hissed, whipping the bottle away when Haru reach out to take it from him. “Can’t you at least put all that stuff in the bag? You look like an idiot.”

 Haru shook his head, and Rin realized he must have been taking some sort of weird _pride_ in how shameless he was. “Just hang on to that for me if you care so much,” he said, using his now free hand to take a cream puff off the plate.

 “That food is for the new students,” Rin growled, brandishing the bottle at him. “Not for you. You’re being incredibly rude.”

 “I’m being economical,” Haru replied. “I missed lunch. And after this I’m going to the transfer students’ reception. That’ll be dinner.”

 Rin shook his head. They stood in silence for a few moments while Haru finished his cream puff. Eventually, Rin reached out and tried to take a cracker from the plate, but Haru smacked his hand away.

 “Hey!”

 “Go get your own, hypocrite.”

Rubbing his hand and muttering to himself, Rin turned away from Haru and refocused his gaze on the mass of people milling about. He looked around and eventually found Rei again. It seemed like he’d very nearly gotten through the crowd, but had been foiled by the group standing directly in front of the math department’s table. He was standing there, talking with four other people and, from what Rin could tell from his vantage point, casting longing looks at the stack of brochures just out of his reach.

 “He looks distressed,” Haru observed, pointing a carrot stick in Rei’s direction.

 “He does, doesn’t he?” Rin laughed. “But I think it’s good for him. Gotta make sure he’s properly socialized before I release him into the world.”

  “You’re the last person who should be saying something like that," Haru said with a snort.

 Rin frowned and stuffed his hands into his pockets, rocking back on his heels. “Yeah, you’re probably right. You know, I’m only here because of Mikoshiba. He nearly broke into song this morning, lecturing me on how I’m pretty much responsible for Rei’s well-being while he’s here. What the fuck, right?”

 “Well, he’s not exactly wrong. You probably just took it the wrong _way._ And I bet you did something obnoxious right before to warrant the lecture, right?”

 “Eh, well…” Rin rubbed the back of his neck. “Kind of.”

 There wasn’t any point in denying it. The hours between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. hadn’t exactly been his best.

 “Thought so. Anyway, no, he’s _not_ your responsibility, but it won’t kill you to at least try to make sure he’s not completely miserable this year. And if that means doing stuff like this for him, then you should just suck it up and deal.”

 Rin grimaced. He did have a point there, actually.

 Rei, he realized, was probably having a much different experience than the one Rin had when he’d first moved to Tokyo. He’d had Haru with him, after all, and even if he hadn’t been the most pleasant companion, he’d still… _been_ there. Kind of like a crutch, really.

 Plus, Rin was used to uprooting everything and starting over somewhere new. He’d done it a few times.

 Rei, on the other hand, was starting from scratch for the very first time in his life.

 “…Yeah, ok, I get it,” he muttered. He wondered if “make-Rin-feel-like-an-asshole" had been voted Theme of the Month or something. Because it sure seemed like it lately.

 “He’ll be fine…He’d _better_ be fine.” Rin clenched his fist, a sudden and rather bewildering wave of protectiveness washing over him as he glared over at where Rei was standing, still unhappily locked in conversation with a group of strangers. “I’m going to make _sure_ he’s fine."

He cracked his knuckles and made to head over there, but was stopped by Haru’s hand on his arm.

 Rin winced when he realized why. “I mean, like, not in a _violent_ way,” he clarified, holding up his hands. “I’m not gonna use force!”

 “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Haru said flatly. “But don’t go over there. He’s doing ok on his own.”

 Rin turned to stare at Rei again, and to his surprise, Haru was right. Sometime within the twelve disorienting seconds that Rin had been grappling his new overwhelming need to wrap him in a blanket and whisk him away from everything, Rei's entire demeanor had changed.

 It was so weird. Just a minute ago he’d looked like he wanted to turn to stone, but now he was relaxed and smiling this charming smile and nodding at whoever was talking.

 What the fuck? Had someone in the group brought up butterflies or… _science_ or something? 

Rin’s jaw had fallen open slightly, and he slumped back against the wall. “What…happened?”

 “What?” Haru glanced up from his food at Rin, who gestured toward Rei.

 “Oh, that,” he said dismissively. “It always takes him a few minutes to warm up to people he’s just met. You should know that. You’re his friend, after all.”

 “Yeah, well," Rin said, a lopsided smiled forming on his face.“We didn’t exactly become friends the normal way, now did we?”

 From what he’d heard from the others, it seemed as though the normal progression of Rei’s friendships began with him being cold and gradually warming to the right temperature. Whereas with Rin…things had started out blazingly hot. Much, _much_ too hot. Luckily, they were both able to cool down at some point.

 “I guess not,” Haru agreed.

 After another minute or so, Rei finally extricated himself from the group and was able to resume the arduous trek toward his destination. Figuring they were probably going to be here for a while, Rin positioned himself more comfortably against the wall.

 He eventually lost sight of Rei among the throngs of people surrounding the tables, so he shifted his gaze back toward the center of the room where some sort of commotion was going on.

 From what he could see from his spot on the other side of the room, it appeared that someone—a guy, judging by his build—had just come into the lobby, his entrance sending what could only be described as a _ripple_ through the crowd. Much of the chatter that had been filling the air came to an abrupt halt as several heads turned in his direction. There was no movement whatsoever for a few seconds. But then, almost as if it had been choreographed, a veritable _flock_ of people—mostly girls—surged forward. All at once, the noise in the room returned to its previous volume, and Rin could only watch in fascination as the newcomer disappeared in a sea of giggling bodies.

 It all happened so quickly that he was sure he must have blinked and missed something.

 “Wow. I’ve never seen that before.”

 Haru raised an eyebrow and took a sip from a Styrofoam cup of punch he’d produced out of nowhere. “You mean the swarm?”

 Rin nodded. “I had no idea that was like… a thing that actually happened to people.”

 “Clearly you’ve never entered a crowded room with Makoto before. He gets ambushed at least three times a week.”

 “Huh.” Rin tilted his head. “Must be a height thing.”

 If he thought about it, he _could_ remember something similar almost happening to Sousuke a few times. Fortunately, the guy's perpetual glower had always been enough to stop most people in their tracks.

 “Oh, that reminds me!” he declared suddenly, and he turned to face Haru fully in order to convey the importance of what he was about to say. “Did you know Rei’s gotten taller?”

 “You sound surprised.”

 “I am! He’s shot up like four centimeters! Maybe even five!”

 “Good for him. Does that mean he’s overtaken you?”

 “By a rather wide margin, yes,” said voice behind Rin.

 He spun around and came face-to-face with the topic of their conversation. Well. More like _eyes_ -to- _nose_ with him. Damn those four centimeters.

 Blushing, Rin took a few steps back.

 “Hello, Haruka-senpai,” Rei continued cheerfully. “This is a surprise. I wouldn’t have expected to see you here.”

 “That’s because he’s not supposed to be here,” said Rin.

 “Rei,” Haru nodded. And then—possibly because he was bored and enjoyed watching people suffer— he said, “Rin was just talking about how neat he thinks it is that you’re taller than him.”

 “Was not!” cried Rin. “I would never say that! When the hell have I ever even called anything _neat_?”

 “Does it really bother you that much?” Rei asked, his shoulders slumping a bit as though he were unconsciously trying to make himself shorter.

 “It doesn’t, I swear! What do I care? Besides, anyone can have a growth spurt. There’s still time for me to beat you.”

 “You haven’t grown since we were 16,” Haru pointed out.

 “The average person can continue growing at random intervals until around age 25,” said Rei. “So there _is_ a chance you might still outstrip me, Rin-san.” Then he smirked and added, “Although I highly doubt that’ll happen.”

 Rin was outraged, but before he could come up with a retort, Haru suddenly took a step toward Rei, his eyes going wide.

 “Rei,” he said seriously. “Where did you get that?”

 “Get what?” Looking somewhat alarmed—and Rin couldn’t blame him, given the intensity with which Haru was staring at him— Rei followed Haru’s gaze down to his right hand.

 “Oh, you mean this?” He held up the pen he’d been twirling absently between his fingers. “The physics department is giving them away at their table. Do you want —”  But Haru was already walking away from them, heading determinedly in the direction of the tables Rei had just come from.

 He glanced at them over his shoulder. “I’ll be back.”

 They stared at him until he disappeared inside the crowd.

 “I would have given him mine,” Rei said bemusedly.

Rin shook his head. “It probably wouldn’t have given him the same sick satisfaction. Let's just leave him. Did you get everything you needed?”

 “Oh, yes! It’s been very informative. And I’m looking forward to perusing these.” He indicated the large stack of brochures he was hugging to his chest.

 “Right,” said Rin, trying his very hardest not laugh at him. “I’ll be sure to give you and those things some privacy when we get home.”

 “You’re too kind,” Rei replied, apparently not minding that he was being mocked.

 “Aren’t I?”

Rin pushed himself off the wall and paused when he accidently knocked something over with his foot. He blinked down at the water bottle Haru had saddled him with, which he’d set on the floor.

 Sighing in annoyance, he bent down to pick it up. He didn't want to wait until Haru came back to give it to him...Maybe could pawn it off on Rei. He deserved it more than Haru, after all, being a first year student and therefore its intended recipient. Plus, giving it to him would probably earn him a few Good-Senpai points.

 “Here,” he said, holding it out.

 “No thank you,” Rei said, making no move to take it.

 “Why not? I got it just for you.” He thrust it at Rei’s chest. “Go on, tell me I’m kind again.”

 “But I don’t have any use for it,” Rei said, shoving it away from him.

 “It’s a water bottle, Rei. I’m _sure_ you can think of one or two things.” He pushed it back again.

 “But I don’t want it!”

 “Come on, just take it! Haru probably forgot he left it here, anyway!”

 “So you _didn’t_ get it just for me!” Rei cried accusingly. “Just give it back to Haruka-senpai, then! I already have a water bottle!”

 “Haru has _sixty_ water bottles!”

 They were both glaring at each other, and Rin wasn’t quite sure what he was getting so worked up for. All he knew was that it was suddenly of the utmost importance to him that Rei _accept_ _the fucking water bottle_.

 He opened his mouth to insist one more time, but was cut off by a new voice wafting toward them from the crowd.

 “You can run, Haru, but just remember my legs are a million times longer than yours!”

 Rin turned to look for the source, but all he saw was Haru speed-walking towards them, which was an odd sight in itself, since Haru rarely moved above a snail’s pace on dry land. Right now, however, he was swiftly picking his way between people in what Rin would have called an almost _urgent_ manner.

 When he trailed his gaze upwards a little, he realized why. Someone was following Haru just a few feet behind, easily keeping up with him at a leisurely pace. And that, he realized, was because whoever it was had a rather large height advantage.

 Rin and Rei kept watching until Haru finally made it back to them, still trailing the stranger close behind.

 Looking thoroughly harassed, Haru marched right up to Rin and looked him straight in the eye.

 “ _What_ _is he doing here_?” he demanded, as though Rin were somehow responsible for whatever was happening right now.

 “I—what?” he spluttered and right as he did, the guy finally caught up with Haru and pounced, draping an arm and what seemed like half his body over Haru’s shoulders.

 At first glance, Rin recognized him as the guy who’d gotten attacked by the horde of girls when he’d first walked through the door earlier. But then—

 “...Kisumi?” he blurted out.

 “Yup!” He nodded happily and allowed Haru to slip out from under him. He adjusted his baseball cap in annoyance and moved to stand next to Rei.

 “Haru, you didn’t tell me Rin was here too!” Kisumi said, sounding absolutely delighted, in spite of the looks he was receiving from the other three (distaste from Haru and plain confusion from both Rin and Rei.) “What a coincidence!”

 “Uh, yeah,” Rin said, cocking his head to the side. To say he was surprised would be a gross understatement. Although now that he thought about it, he really should have recognized the enormous height and the pastel-colored hair as soon as he saw it. It wasn’t exactly widespread combo.

 “Wow. It’s been a while. I think the last time I saw you was—”

 “A year and a half ago at Samezuka’s cultural festival,” Kisumi supplied. “Sousuke invited me, remember? So I came and got to talk to you guys for about thirty seconds before you ditched me forever. And then I got lost on the third floor and a first year had to escort me to the entrance. It was really fun!”

 “Oh, yeah,” Rin said thoughtfully. “Sorry about that. I was kind of busy running the swim team’s event. Captain’s job, you know?”

 “Don’t worry about it,” Kisumi replied, waving a hand good-naturedly. “I’m totally used to people ignoring me. Like just now, for instance! This guy right here—” he tilted his head toward Haru, who scowled and looked away,“— took one look at me and turned around in the opposite direction.”

 They all looked at Haru, and he crossed his arms. “That wasn’t because of you,” he muttered. There was a pause, and then “…The physics table was out of pens.”

 Kisumi laughed as though that were the most hilarious thing he’d ever heard come out of another person’s mouth.

 Rei said nothing, but he did hold out his own pen to Haru, who hesitantly accepted it. That seemed to calm him down some.

 “Anyway,” Rin said after a few awkward moments, during which Kisumi waved at Rei and received a guarded “Hello" in return. “Not to be rude or anything, but what the fuck are you doing here?”

 “Well, I’ll be honest with you, Rinrin, that _was_ a little rude,” Kisumi said cheerfully, and suddenly Rin remembered why he hadn’t really bothered to stay in touch with the guy. “But I’ll let it slide since know you can’t help it.”

 Rin felt his eye twitch. “Yeah, ok, but that doesn’t answer my question. I thought you were at school in Tottori with Sousuke!”

 “What? Didn’t Sousuke tell you I transferred here?”

 Rin’s eyebrows shot up.

 _Had_ he? He couldn’t remember, quite honestly. They hadn’t had very many conversations over the past few months. He could only think of two, actually, and he was fairly certain Sousuke hadn’t mentioned it during either one.

 “Huh. Guess not,” said Kisumi when Rin stayed silent.

 “…Why did you decide to transfer?” Rei asked, after both Rin and Haru failed to do so.

 Kisumi beamed at him. “Well, ya see, I ended up not being too crazy about going to a private college. It was just way too tiny—like being back in high school, you know? I literally saw the same twenty people every single day.” He made a face and continued, “Plus, I really missed playing basketball. They don’t have a team there, so I had to play with just Sousuke, and he tried his best, bless him, but he’s got the messed up shoulder, you know, so that didn’t work out too well. The team here is awesome, so I’m really glad they accepted me. I even got a partial scholarship.”

 “Hmph,” Haru grunted, not looking at all pleased with this information.

 “That’s nice, I guess,” said Rin. “But what about Sousuke? You just left him?”

 “Hmmm? Well, yeah. I only had one plane ticket. And I doubt he would have agreed to stuff himself in my suitcase. It’s cool, though. He was super supportive.” He grinned, eyeing Rin knowingly. “And it’s not like you’re one to talk. If memory serves, didn’t you transfer schools back in sixth grade? And after that you ended up transferring _continents._  Wow…you know, now that I think about it, you’re kinda flighty, aren’t you?”

 Rin frowned at him and he laughed again. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, don’t worry about Sousuke. He’s used to abandonment. I think I did him a favor, actually. He’s officially the tallest guy on campus now that I’m gone.”

 “Hmph,” it was Rin’s turn to grunt. He glanced at his watch and turned to Rei. “You ready to go?”

 “ _Yes_ ,” said Haru.

 “Not you.”

 Rei opened his mouth, but Kisumi cut him off. “Hey! Since we’re all here, we should go to dinner! I only came here because I heard there was free food, but all that’s left is the crudité platter and just looking at it kind of bums me out. Come on, _please?_ I need something to tide me over ‘til the transfer student’s reception.”

 While Rin and Rei were still trying to formulate rejections, Haru began walking away. “You guys can go,” he said, glancing back at them. “I’m leaving.”

 “I’ll pay for your meal!” Kisumi called out. Haru halted. “Plus dessert, if you so desire!”

 Shoulders tense, Haru spun around and made his way begrudgingly back to them. 

 “I can’t believe that worked,” Kisumi said, linking arms with him as soon as he was within reach. “Don’t worry, though. My respect for you remains paramount.”

 He looked questioningly at Rin and Rei.

 “I think we’ll pass,” Rin said hurriedly, grabbing Rei by the arm and starting to back away. They didn’t get very far, however, before Haru clamped a hand around his wrist. He didn’t say anything, but the message came through loud and clear. They were weren’t going anywhere without him and person who had permanently attached himself to his side.

* * *

 

 Thirty minutes later, they found themselves sitting around a table in a small ramen shop a few blocks from the sports complex, listening to Kisumi talk between mouthfuls of broth and noodle.

  _It's actually not_ _that bad,_ Rin thought. Kisumi was an easy sort of person to be around. He seemed to despise silences of any length, so he took it upon himself to do most of the talking. All anyone else had to do was nod or give him a topic and he was off and running. With him doing all the work, it was actually sort of pleasant to just sit and listen to him without the pressure of sustaining the conversation.

 “—but that’s not really a story for mixed company,” Kisumi finished, glacing at the elderly couple sitting in a booth a feet away from them. “Just know that I _did_ eventually get my pants back. They never were the same after that, though.”

 Rin, who had been lulled into a state of near-sleep by the food and the endless drone of Kisumi’s voice, emerged from his reverie, and he was a little disappointed he’d zoned out during something that actually sounded interesting.

 “Anyway, enough about me,” Kisumi continued, shoving a piece of meat into his mouth. He looked at Rei, who was sitting across the table next to Rin. “I wanna hear about you, Rei. We met once, do you remember? At your swimming thingamajig a few years ago. It was only briefly, though, since I had my brother with me. It’s not really a good idea to make a six-year-old sit still for that long. As soon as Makoto was out of the water, he was ready to leave. Which was kind of a let down, you know? I mean, it took us three hours to get there and we only stayed for like twenty minutes and—oh, sorry. I said ‘enough about me,’ didn’t I? So, are you on the swim team with Rin and Haru?”

 Rei shook his head. “I’m not nearly at that level.”

 “Oh, I see. Well, that’s cool. You probably want to get an education, unlike these two dumb jocks over here.”

 “Didn’t you say you’re here on a basketball scholarship?” Rin asked.

 “You’re super smart, right?" Kisumu continued with an encouraging smile. "I heard that from Makoto. He told me _a_ _lot_ about you, actually.”

 “R-really?” said Rei, a slight blush coloring his cheeks.

 Kisumi nodded, and without taking his eyes off Rei, began transferring slices of egg from his own bowl into Haru’s.“Yup. He told me the story about how you met everyone and learned to swim, and that whole thing with that competition where you let Rin take your place in the relay so he could feel validated, or whatever. That was seriously cool of you, by the way.”

 Rin's head snapped up and he glared at him, not exactly pleased that his emotional decline and eventual redemption had been reduced to an anecdote casually uttered through a mouthful of pork.

 It really wasn’t the sort of thing you were supposed to talk about. In fact, he and Rei had successfully _avoided_ talking about it until this very moment. It was uncharted territory for them. There had been that one botched attempt during one of Rei’s private swimming lessons a while back. Rin had started to say something, but chickened out at the last minute.

 But now it was like watching a train wreck. Rin couldn’t look away—couldn’t do anything to stop it—and he actually found himself extremely curious as to how Rei would respond.

 “…Was it?” said Rei, his voice and expression completely neutral.

 Rin whipped his head around to stare at him.

 ...Was that all? No agreement or denial or _anything_? It’s not like he was expecting some big emotional display or something, but _that_ had just been…boring.

 “It was,” Kisumi assured him. “Especially since it sounds like he was being a real dick to everyone at the time.” He frowned mockingly at Rin, who was too busy being confused (and possibly a little disappointed) to take much notice. Then he shrugged. “But I’m sure you had your reasons. So, tell me, what are you planning on studying?”

 The conversation drifted back into safer topics, and Rin allowed the previous exchange to exit his thoughts.

 He was feeling tired again and was quite relieved when, about fifteen minutes later, Kisumi looked at his watch, jumped up, and announced, “It’s gotten pretty late! The transfer students thing is gonna start soon. Come on, Haru. We’d better go before the only thing left is the crudité again.”

 “Who said I was coming with you?” Haru asked, glaring up at him.

 “No one...I just thought you’d be interested in getting a free umbrella. They said they’d be giving them away in the newsletter.”

 Sighing heavily, Haru stood up and collected his things.

 “You’re very weak,” Rin told him.

 “This one’s on me,” Kisumi chirped, dropping some money on the table. “I’m well aware you all came here against your will. Thanks for indulging me.”

 “Please don’t trouble yourself. I’ll pay for my own meal,” said Rei, taking out his own wallet.

 “You sure, Rei? I’m happy to do it.”

 Rei nodded firmly. “I’m quite sure. Thank you, though.”

 “Well, ok, then. Bye, guys! We’ll hang out again soon!”

 He headed for the door, dragging Haru with him.

 “Bye, Rei,” Haru said, not even sparing a glance at Rin.

 Rei waved and Rin crossed his arms, watching as he was yanked out the door and up the street by Kisumi.

 Once they were no longer visible, he sighed and turned to Rei, who was counting out his exact change.

 “I got it,” Rin said, taking out his own wallet, digging out a few bills, and throwing them on the table.

 Rei glanced up at him, looking slightly miffed. “What did I just say? I’m fine paying for my own.”

 “First the water bottle, and now this? Would it kill you to show a little gratitude? It’s your first night here. Just let me treat you.”

 Rei looked like he wanted to argue, but then he sighed and, flushing slightly, closed his wallet and put it away. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Thank you very much, Rin-san.”

 “You’re _so_ welcome,” Rin replied sarcastically.

 “…You can give me the water bottle, if you want,” Rei said after a moment, looking down at the table.

 “Too late. Haru already snagged it from me.”

 “I see. Well, that’s no matter. Like I said, I _do_ already have one.”

 “What is your _point,_ Rei? I don’t get it. What’s wrong with having more than one water bottle?”

 “Well, logically, if I already have _one_ suitable water bottle, then adding another would be completely superfluous—”

 “That logic only works if you’re talking theoretically!” Rin cried. “ _Theoretically_ , this one suitable water bottle you’re referring to will never get lost or need to be cleaned. But that’s the reality of water bottles! Sooner or later you’re gonna have to stick it in the dishwasher and live without it for a while. So wouldn’t it be useful to have an extra lying around that you can use when the other one is out of commission?”

 “While I see where you’re coming from, I’m going to have to say _no_.”

 “And why is that?”

 “Because. I don’t put my water bottle in the dishwasher. I hand wash it, and it only takes about two minutes.”

 He looked so immensely _pleased_ with himself that Rin was tempted to just let him have it.

 "Fine,” he said, managing to swallow down his laughter. “You win, Rei. I’m not gonna try to tell you how to live your life. Even if you’re doing it completely wrong.”

 “I fail to see how—” He let out a sigh and shook his head. “Never mind. Are you ready to go?”

 “ _Yes_.” Rin pushed away from the table and rose wearily to his feet. “If we don’t leave now, you’re going to have to carry me home.”

 “You must be tired,” Rei said sympathetically. He held the door open and Rin stepped out, shivering slightly when the evening air hit him.

 “That idiot dragged us a good five blocks out of our way,” he complained.

 “Shigino-san seemed very happy to see you."

 “I guess,” Rin shrugged. He pounded impatiently on the crosswalk button and stuffed his rapidly freezing hands into his pockets.

 “He’s very…talkative.”

 “Yeah, that’s one way to describe him. Sousuke’s probably enjoying the first peace and quiet he’s known in a year.”

 They walked in silence for a while after that, each lost in their own thoughts, but once the apartment building was in view, Rin found he couldn’t keep quiet any longer. Something had been bothering him for a while now.

 “Hey,” he said, and Rei started slightly.

 “Yes?”

 “Earlier, during dinner…how come you…”

 “How come I what?”

 “…Never mind.”

 Wow. He hadn’t expected himself to chicken out. _Again._

 “Alright, then,” said Rei, giving him a weird look, and Rin felt the most bizarre desire to laugh.

It was just like last time, and once again, Rei had absolutely no notion of the dangerous waters Rin had just steered them toward and then sharply away from at the last second.

That was fine, though.

 _They didn’t have to talk about it_ , he thought as they walked up the steps to the entrance.

 _They’d gotten on just fine for two years without talking about it_ , he thought as he unlocked the door to their apartment. Rei bade him goodnight and disappeared into his room with his precious pamphlets.

 _They weren’t going to talk about it_ , he thought as he lay in bed at 7 p.m. like a child.

_It was completely and absolutely necessary to the stability of their friendship that they never, ever talk about it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo was I the only one who noticed that the whole Rei-sacrifices-relay-for-Rin thing was never actually resolved??? And that thing in episode 3 doesn't count. I don't care if Rin teaching Rei how to swim makes them 'even.' Rin never actually came right out and said thanks, and that is one of my reasons for writing this fic. Imma resolve that issue in a Big...Emotional...CONFRONTATION. But not for like a million chapters lol. 
> 
> Anyway, if it's not clear, I love Kisumi more than I love myself. Please do yourself a favor read "High Speed! 2" (there's a translation somewhere) Kisumi and Haru's relationship is pretty much based off of their mutual enjoyment of food and being bitchy to their other classmate. I like minor characters way too much. Kisumi and Mikoshiba are pretty much in this fic to ship the rinrei from the sidelines.
> 
> Next chapter is...working the rest of its way out of my head. There's cooking and emotions and actual sports involved, so please bare with me since I know nothing about any of those things.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei is a very busy butterfly and Rin sucks at sports.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God help us, it's another 11,000 word chapter. Closer to 12,000 actually.  
> Please forgive any mistakes. By the time I finished, there were so many red and green squiggles I was almost convinced I'd accidentally written the whole thing in the wrong language. I did my best to edit. Btw, if anyone wants to beta like once a month, let me know.

If Rin had thought that this new living situation of theirs would provide an opportunity for the all the awkward feelings of shame and gratitude he had managed to keep dammed up for the past three years to come spilling out of him…well he needn’t have worried. Once classes began that Monday, it became clear that Rei didn’t have time for Rin and his issues.

He wasn’t entirely sure what classes Rei was talking—or how many, for that matter— but whatever they were, they were keeping him busier than Rin would have thought possible. In the three weeks since school had started, he had only seen Rei a handful of times, either when they were both leaving in the morning or briefly at night after Rin got back from swim practice.

It was different, Rin thought, to how he’d been living before. It was almost like he didn’t have a roommate at all. Rei was tidy and (generally) quiet, and—unlike Haru, who had only ever left their dorm to go to class, eat, or swim—he was almost never around.

And sure, he could admit that he might have found it a little lonely that first weekend when he’d woken up to a note slapped on the fridge informing him that Rei had ditched him for the library. He had kind of been looking forward to the prospect of the two of them finally being able to have a conversation that lasted longer than the time it took to say ‘hi’ and ‘bye.’ But he supposed it was for the best. They’d probably be miserable if they were together 100 percent of the time.

 It was a pretty good system, actually. In fact, in the nearly entire month they’d lived together, they’d only run into one source of conflict, and it wasn’t even their fault; it was the hole’s. As Rei had predicted, the blanket was pretty much useless when it came to blocking sound, which only became a problem when they’d both decided to listen to music at the same time—Rin to his English bands and Rei to some boring instrumental shit. It had resulted in the two of them gradually increasing their respective volumes in an effort to drown out the other’s music until someone on the floor above started pounding on the ceiling and yelling at them to cut it out.

They both started using headphones after that.

 Unfortunately for them, the building manager—who Mikoshiba _swore_ had gotten back into town sometime during the first week of school—had proven impossible to track down. It was frustrating, but not unexpected. She had to have known she’d have to two angry tenants gunning for her after that stunt she pulled. She was putting quite a lot of effort into avoiding a confrontation. She never answered her door, for one thing, and Rin was also fairly certain he’d seen flashes of silver hair disappearing around the corners of halls he happened to be strolling through.

“I can’t pin her down! She’s like the phantom landlady!” he complained to Mikoshiba one night at swim practice, after yet another close encounter. It had been in the laundry room this time. No sooner had Rin entered than he was nearly knocked to the ground by someone zipping past him out the door. He knew immediately who it had been. The sight of Yasuya-san’s hastily retreating back was very familiar to him at this point.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Mikoshiba said. He stretched his arms behind him, sighing in relief when his back emitted a series of loud cracks. “You’ll just have to keep at it.”

“How old is she, anyway? Like eighty? Why is she so much faster than me?”

 “She’s got a lot of workout tapes from the seventies,” Mikoshiba said, a fond smile tugging at his lips. “I’ve done them with her a couple times. They’re crazy intense.”

 “That’s just _great,”_ Rin groaned, slumping further down the bench he was sitting on and letting his head fall back against the wall. “So I guess I’m gonna have to wait until she breaks a hip to get her to talk to me, huh?”

 “Don’t get any ideas. If you push her down the stairs, I _will_ testify against you.”

 “Yeah, yeah.”

Mikoshiba patted him on the back. “She’s probably afraid of you. Can’t really blame her. The whole building knows you're out for her blood. Maybe Ryugazaki-kun will have more luck. I bet he’s good at charming elderly people. You should ask him to handle it for you.”

Rin was inclined to agree. Rei could be extremely charming when he wanted to. He’d probably have no problem winning over their cagey landlady. But before he could tell Mikoshiba that the problem there was that they hadn’t been able to have a proper chat since Rei moved in, the assistant coach blew his whistle, announcing the end of their break.

Rin snapped his goggles back on and allowed himself to put his problems on the backburner for now. He really did have more important things to think about; their first meet was next month, and Rin was eager to start setting records.

Smiling in anticipation as he got in line behind some other people, he glanced over at Haru, who had remained in the pool during break, just floating on his back. He was now completing a lap in the farthest lane while the coach observed. 

As he watched, Haru hit the wall and the coach bent down to speak to him. Rin couldn’t hear what he was saying over the splashing going on around them, but he seemed pleased. He was smiling and showing Haru something on his clipboard. Haru, on the other hand, was looking stonier-faced than usual.

Soon, the coach gave him a thumbs-up, straightened, and headed toward the other side of the pool. Haru looked down at the water for a moment and grimaced before ducking under for another lap.

“ _Hello_? Get on the block, Matsuoka. We haven’t got all day,” the person behind him said, and Rin jumped.

“Oh! Sorry.” He shook his head and stepped up to his starting position.

  _Well, whatever_ , he thought as he dived in. He was pretty sure Haru always looked like that when the coach was talking to him. He handled criticism well enough; it was praise he couldn’t stand, and Coach Fujimya did almost nothing _but_ praise him. Understandably so. From their very first practice as university team members, Haru had just kept getting faster and faster by the day.

  _Which is why you need to concentrate_ , Rin told himself as he pushed off the wall and started his second length. _As long as he’s in front of you, you’ll get faster too_.

 With that thought, he pushed Haru’s sour expression out of his mind and focused instead on picturing the look he got on his face whenever Rin caught up to him.

* * *

  By the end of practice, Rin had managed to shave a pretty decent amount of time off his 100m free. He tried not to get too excited—results like that only counted if you could consistently reproduce them—and vowed that next time he’d give the same attention to his butterfly, which was arguably the more important of the two, seeing as most of his events were in butterfly.

 Still, though. He felt good. It had been a good practice.

 He was still smiling when he got back to the apartment. However, once he took in how empty it was, his smile faded into nothing. Like most nights, the lights were off and Rei was nowhere to be seen. Had he not gotten back yet? It was nearly 10:30, but he’d heard Rei come in as late as 12 some days, from what he could only imagine was the library, since he was pretty sure there weren’t any classes that went past 10.

 His bedroom door was closed and the light was off. Maybe he was asleep.

Sighing quietly, Rin slipped off his shoes and plodded to his room. He sat on his bed and tried to ignore the disappointment that had settled in his stomach. It was stupid of him, but he’d sort of been hoping Rei would be around. Just so he’d have someone to talk about practice with. Maybe tell him about how he improved his times. Haru hadn’t really been interested and had left right after practice was over, and it wasn’t like he could go around bragging to Mikoshiba, who had him beat in almost every category.

But…it was fine. After all, it had been like this for almost a month. He couldn’t expect Rei to suddenly have time to listen to him just because he felt like talking. Although, he had to admit he was curious as to what, exactly, was keeping the nerd so incredibly busy. Rin was taking a full course load on top of swimming six days a week, but even he still had time to bum around the apartment after class and on weekends. Maybe Rei had joined a club…?

 Or maybe he just didn’t like hanging out in such a cramped space, with a hole in one wall, a couch he was too afraid to sit on, and a roommate whose fault it was he was living there.

 Rin snorted to himself and went into the bathroom to wash up. He wasn’t really tired, but he might as well go to bed anyway. Tomorrow was Friday and he had an early class, so he probably _should_ try to sleep.

  _Plus, it's not like I have anything better to do_ , he thought, giving the purple toothbrush sitting in the holder an irritable flick. It was dry, he noted with some surprise. That meant Rei really _wasn’t_ home yet.

Feeling a little sorry for himself, Rin turned out the light in the bathroom and got into bed. _Really,_ he thought as pulled his covers up over his head. _I'm practically living all by myself here._

* * *

Of course, in reality, Rin wasn’t living all by himself. He was living in an apartment building with about fifty other people, and it just so happened that one of them had decided that it would be a great idea to do their laundry at 4 in the morning.

Rin, who had managed to fall asleep around 12, was woken with a start by what sounded like an earthquake rattling the ceiling. It took him a few groggy moments to realize that _no,_ it wasn’t an earthquake; it was just the zillion-year-old washing machine on the floor above. The same one that was responsible for the gradually spreading water stain located right above his bed and was probably going to fall through ceiling and crush him flat in the near future.

Rin groaned and let out a flurry of curses, not even caring if he woke up Rei. He tried to muffle the noise by stuffing his head under his pillows, but it was no use, and Rin almost felt like crying. He’d still had three hours left to sleep, dammit! He had a _math test_ today!

He grudgingly shoved off his covers and stood up. There was no way he was going to be able to fall asleep again with that racket. Who was responsible for this? Who in the building had it out for him? _It was probably Mikoshiba,_ he thought somewhat hysterically as he stumbled to his closet.

Now that he was awake, he might as well go for a run. He usually only ran three times a week, so if he went today he could skip tomorrow and sleep in instead. Maybe the fresh air would help with the headache all the noise was giving him.

He threw on some clothes, grabbed his keys, and left, wondering briefly if Rei had also been woken up. He hoped not. If Rei had gotten home after him, then he probably needed all the sleep he could get. 

There was a nice park with a track and a running trail a few blocks away from campus that Rin liked to go to. He decided to stick to the track today, since he tended to lose track of time on the trail.

It was still fairly dark out when he began. The grey clouds in the distance were just slightly outlined in a glowing pink, hinting that the sun would be rising soon enough. That sight alone was enough to ease some the tension that had built up in his shoulders.

Rin enjoyed running almost as much as he enjoyed swimming. He wasn’t as _good_ at running, by any stretch, but that was actually part of why he liked it. He found himself savoring the stretch and burn of his leg muscles and the tiny stitch he got in his chest. Those things didn’t happen often while he swam anymore, unless he really worked for it. With running, on the other hand, he was in pain pretty much right away.

Sousuke—who hated running with a passion and had only been able to bring himself to join Rin a few times while they were at Samezuka together—had thought he was crazy when he’d told him that. _“So…you like running it because it_ hurts _?”_ he’d asked, looking mildly scandalized.

 _“No. I like it because it eventually_ stops _hurting,”_ Rin had answered. _“Don’t tell me you’ve never gotten to that point?”_

_“I have never once in my life gotten to that point.”_

Rin smiled to himself. He was reaching that point right about now, four laps in. His breathing was evening out, and the burn in his calves and thighs was beginning to fade, to be replaced by a loose, almost elastic sensation.

It felt amazing. _This_ was why he liked running. The pain at the beginning was worth it just so he could feel it disappear.

 He slowed down to a jog after another fifteen laps. The sun had risen halfway, but it was too overcast to make much of a difference. It was early May, so it was still a little chilly in the mornings. A cold breeze hit Rin and he shivered slightly in his sweat soaked clothes.

Figuring that the only way to warm back up was to start running again, he adjusted his earphones and was about to pick up the pace when something on the other side of the track caught his eye.

Someone had just come out of the entrance to the running trail and now was leaning against the fence that separated the track from the rest of the park, breathing heavily and looking at their watch.

Rin was so surprised that he actually stopped moving altogether and just stood there, staring. He couldn’t believe it. But there was no mistaking the hair and glasses.

As he watched, Rei bent over double to tie one of his shoes, and without thinking, Rin began sprinting over to him.

“YO!” 

Rei, who was facing the other way, let out a startled shriek and jumped about half a foot in the air. He spun around and, when he saw who it was, let out a sigh and slumped against the fence, clutching the fabric over his heart.

“Sorry, sorry!” Rin called out. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

He slowed his approach a bit, but didn’t stop until he was standing right in front of Rei. “Hey!” He grinned and held up a hand in greeting.

Rei looked shocked for a moment, but then he returned Rin’s smile. “Good morning, Rin-san. This is surprise. I didn’t think I’d see anyone out here this early.”

“Yeah, same here.” Rin nodded enthusiastically. Then he realized he might actually be standing a little too close and he took a step back. “I didn’t think anyone in their right mind would be up this early.”

Rei raised an eyebrow. “Than why are _you_ up?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Rin shrugged and glanced at his watch. “What about you? Are you always outside at 5:15 in the morning?”

“Yes, actually. It’s the only time I can manage to get a run in.”

Rin was surprised. Though now that he thought about, he really shouldn’t have been. Most days, Rei was dressed and out the door by the time Rin even managed to roll out of bed, which would make sense if Rei had already been up for hours before him.

 “Seriously? Doesn’t that suck?”

 “I’m used to it,” Rei said. He removed his glasses and began wiping the lenses with the hem of his shirt. “And it’s better than not being able to run at all. I actually rather like it. It’s sort of peaceful with no one else around...Until now, of course,” he added, glancing up at Rin with a smile.

Rin shook his head in wonder. It was amazing. They’d only been talking for about a minute, but Rin felt like he’d already learned more about Rei than he had in an entire month of living together.

 _That’s because this is the longest you’ve talked to him in a month_ , Rin reminded himself, and the realization made him sort of sad and excited at the same time. This was some coincidence! It almost made losing three hours of sleep seem worth it.

As Rei fiddled with a button on his watch, Rin took the opportunity to give him a thorough once-over.

The first thing he noticed was that Rei was not outfitted his typical workout gear. If Rin recalled correctly, Rei usually wore something similar to Rin’s own ensemble, including compression leggings, shorts, and a lot of other superfluous—but nevertheless aesthetically pleasing—accessories.

Today, however, Rei was wearing what Rin would have called the bare minimum in running attire. Just an old Iwatobi High School sweatshirt and blue shorts that ended mid-thigh. It was actually a pretty good look for him…But, geez. Wasn’t he cold?

“Rin-san?”

Rin flinched, and his eyes shot back up to Rei’s face. “Yeah?”

Rei looked at him quizzically. “Are you alright? You were kind of spacing out.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Rin said, coloring a bit. Then he mentally scolded himself for staring at the guy’s legs.

 “So,” he continued airily, gesturing to Rei’s outfit. “What's this? Casual Friday?”

 Rei looked down at himself and grimaced. “Laundry Friday, actually,” he said, crossing his arms self-consciously over his chest.

Rin laughed as Rei shifted uncomfortably, but then a thought occurred to him. “...Hey, were you by any chance doing laundry earlier this morning?”

“Yes. Why?”

Rin socked him in the arm. “Don’t _do_ that, idiot! Didn’t you know the laundry room is right above my bedroom? I can _hear_ that shit!”

“Really?” Rei cried, taking a step back. “I had no idea!”

“What, you can’t hear anything from your room?”

 Rei shook his head apologetically and Rin sighed. “Well, I guess it can’t be helped. I did give you the better room on purpose.”

“I really am sorry,” Rei said, scuffing one of his shoes on the ground. “Is that why you couldn’t sleep?”

He looked so guilty that Rin almost wanted to laugh. “It’s fine,” he said. “Just don’t do it again.”

Rei nodded, biting his lip, and Rin smiled. “You can make it up to me with a race.”

“A race?”

“Yup,” Rin nodded, suddenly feeling hyped. “A few times around the track. Whad’dya say?”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Rei asked. “It’d be a rather uneven match.”

“Well, if you’re worried about it, then maybe I’ll go easy on you.”

Rei looked at him like he couldn’t decide if he was joking or not, but eventually he smiled and put his hands on his hips. “Very well, Rin-san. If you insist.”

“Cool.” Rin grabbed him by the wrist and led him over to the start of the track. His heart was already speeding up in anticipation. It had been forever since he’d run with someone, and even longer since he’d been able to have a race. They were responsible for their own cross training on the swim team, and Haru refused every time Rin invited him along, preferring to just put in extra hours at the pool rather than go to the gym or out running.

Now he finally had someone to challenge.

He knew Rei had been in track and field in middle school, but he’d switched to swimming right at the beginning of high school, so he was probably a bit rusty. Rei had to be bluffing; they were probably pretty evenly matched.

Rin grinned as they took their starting positions. He glanced over at Rei, whose face was completely blank.

“Go!” he called out, and faster than Rin could have imagined, Rei shot past him, gaining a lead before Rin could even get his feet moving.

Ok… Maybe he’d been wrong.

Shaking himself out of his stupor, Rin ran after him, eventually managing to, if not surpass him, then at least sort of catch up to him.

Rei’s form was perfect. His back was straight and his eyes were focused ahead of him. He didn’t seem to be winded at all, unlike Rin, who was already chest deep in that burning sensation he was such a fan of. Though it really wasn’t doing much for him at the moment.

Two minutes later, Rei crossed the finish, with Rin coming in at a not-so-close second.

“What…the…hell…” he panted, bending over to catch his breath. “You actually…won…”

“Why do you sound so surprised, Rin-san?” Rei asked innocently. “I thought you were going easy on me.”

“Shut…up. One… more…time.”

 “I think that can be arranged,” Rei said, glancing down at his watch. Then he smirked at Rin, who was still doubled over slightly. “Do you need a minute?”

“…I’m good.” Rin straightened up and they got back into position. This time, when Rei sped past him, Rin didn’t immediately sprint to catch up, choosing instead to pace himself a bit more this time around.

But of course, Rei ended up beating him again, and he waited for Rin at the finish, watching him appraisingly. He’d won by an even bigger margin this time, but Rin didn’t give him a chance to rub it in. Without pausing at the finish line, he continued running right past Rei and toward the park entrance.

“Where are you going?” Rei called after him.

“Race you back to the building!” he shouted, not bothering to turn around, since that would just slow him down. “Going up block 8!”

He laughed when Rei yelled something intelligible back. He sounded annoyed, but Rin was 100 percent sure he was following after him.

 He’d given himself a decent enough head start that it would take Rei some time to catch up, providing Rin the opportunity to gush to himself in private.

Boy, had he ever underestimated Rei. Apparently he’d kept his track skills all polished and shiny, despite not competing for three years. Rin thought back to the few times he’d gone running with his friends in Iwatobi. Rei hadn’t displayed anything near this level. But that was probably because he’d been holding back, like Rin.

Haru, Makoto, and Nagisa weren’t the best runners, and the pace was always set to accommodate them.

  _So this is what Rei can do when he goes all out_ , he thought excitedly. He was really good, even better than he was at swimming. Maybe he’d joined the track team here and that was what was keeping him out so late every day…

As Rin rounded the corner, he was unexpectedly pulled out of his thoughts by a gentle tug at the back of his head.

“Wha—?”

 He heard someone laugh behind him, and before he knew what was happening, there was suddenly a great deal of hair in his face.

Spluttering, Rin swiped away the strands that had gotten in his mouth and saw Rei surge past him.

“Want this back?” he called over his shoulder, holding up the elastic tie he’d snagged out of Rin’s hair.

“That was cheating!”

“And what would you call that head start of yours?”

 Rin laughed, which unfortunately ended up slowing him down a bit.

They ran the rest of the way in relative silence, as navigating between the mailboxes and trashcans on the curbside required some concentration.

Unsurprisingly, Rei beat him for the third time that morning, but not by much.

Rin collapsed on the bottom step of the porch, his chest heaving. Rei sat down a few steps above him, his breathing only slightly labored.

“I’ve gotta…hand it to you…Rei…” Rin wheezed. “You’re not…half bad.”

“Such high praise,” Rei said. He sounded like he was holding in laughter, and Rin bristled a bit.

“Well, don’t feel too proud of yourself,” he snapped. “You haven’t been swimming since you retired from the club, a few months back, right? I bet all your muscles have gone soft. Made you more aerodynamic.” He punctuated this statement with a weak smack to one of Rei’s biceps.

It was as rock hard as ever.

 “You know it doesn’t work that way, Rin-san,” Rei laughed, flicking Rin’s hair tie at him. It landed in his lap. “But go ahead and tell yourself that if it makes you feel better.”

“Oh, shut up. If your head gets any bigger, your glasses are gonna snap in half.”

Rei just laughed again and started messing with his watch. Rin sunk further down on the step and tilted his head back to watch him.

“Seems like you have to press a lot of buttons just to get the time,” he observed.

Rei glanced down at him, confused, and Rin pointed to his watch. “Oh,” he said. “I’m not checking the time. I’m seeing how many meters I ran.” 

“Seriously? It can tell you that?”

Rei nodded excitedly, waving his wrist in front of Rin’s face. “It’s amazing isn’t it? I got in in Germany. It also does temperature and atmospheric pressure and wind speed and—” He broke off when Rin started laughing a him. “…What’s so funny?”

“Are you _kidding_ me?” Rin howled, clutching his sides. “That is the nerdiest shit I’ve ever seen! Honestly, Rei, how can you go through life like that?”

“How can _you_ go through life without being able to measure distance at a moment’s notice?” Rei cried, flapping his arms insistently, which only made Rin laugh harder.

Grumbling to himself, Rei returned to his watch. Rin wiped the tears from his eyes and went back to observing him.

Now that they were both stationary, Rin could finally get a good look at his face. There was just a _tiny_ bit of five o’clock shadow on Rei’s jaw, which he tried not to envy, and some fairly dark circles under his eyes that he definitely didn't envy.

Huh. Now that he thought about it, he had no idea time what time Rei came home last night. It had to have been after 12, or else Rin would have heard him come in. And then, if he was up at the crack of dawn doing laundry…

“Rei,” he said abruptly. “How much sleep did you get last night?”

“Enough,” Rei said, looking startled by the question. “Why do you ask?”

“…No reason,” Rin said after regarding him for a moment. Maybe he was overthinking it. Not that it was his fault. He probably wouldn’t be so aware of Rei’s comings and goings if the guy would just _stay put_ every now and then.

He let out a quiet chuckle. “You know, I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve been able to talk like this. You’re always out.” Rin glanced up at him. “What gives?”

“Oh…well, I’ve got class all day,” Rei said, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees. “And I usually do my homework at the library. All of that keeps me pretty busy, I guess.”

“You can’t do your homework at home?”

“I concentrate better at the library. And also…” He hesitated and Rin raised his eyebrows.

“Also…?” he prompted, and to his surprise, Rei blushed slightly.

“Well,” he began awkwardly. “I just figured you would prefer it if I gave you your space. You’re in class or at training for most of the day, so you should be able to relax when you’re home.”

Rin stared at him for a long moment as he processed this bit of information. And once he had, he found himself torn between wanting to hug Rei for being so sweet and smack him for being so _stupid_.

“…And you thought I wouldn’t be able to do that if you were there _because_...?”

Rei grimaced and crossed his arms, shifting his body away from Rin. “I just…” He glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and Rin nodded encouragingly at him.

“…I didn’t want to be a nuisance,” he finished lamely, and Rin was ready to laugh at him again. But he knew that wouldn’t go over well, so he forced it back down.

“Rei,” he said instead, his tone grave. “Do me a favor and come home. It’s so boring being there by myself, it’s been driving me _insane_.”

“R-Really?”

“Yes, ‘ _really’_ , you idiot!” Rin cried, unable to stop himself from reaching out and punching the first bit of Rei he came into contact with (his knee, in this case.) “What kind of logic is that, anyway? You _live_ here don’t you? And we’re friends. Of course I’d want you around.” 

“I just wasn’t sure…”

“Rei, it is my dearest wish that you will sit down in our apartment and watch TV with me. I mean, I know you hate that couch, but we can, like, put a blanket down or something.”

“Alright…if that’s what you really want, Rin-san…then I suppose I’ll make an effort to spend more time in the apartment from now on…" He nodded decisively. "I’ll even do more of my homework there. How does that sound?”

 He was smiling now, albeit shyly, and Rin was…suddenly kind of embarrassed.

He’d come on too strong, hadn’t he? What the _fuck_ was that about? He’d probably sounded needy as hell, too. That was probably why Rei agreed so readily.

“W-well,” he said gruffly, turning his head away. “I mean…you don’t have to force yourself…Do whatever you want.”

Rei didn’t seem to hear him. He stood up and stretched his arms. “Well, now that that’s settled, we should probably go in, Rin-san. It’s almost 6:30.”

“Yeah… ok.” He stood up, hopped down from the step, and was just about to bend down to adjust one of his shoes when he was suddenly yanked backwards by a strong grip around his shoulders.

Just in time, too.

At that moment a bicycle zoomed past, just barely avoiding a collision with Rin. In fact, if Rei hadn’t pulled him back, it probably _would_ have collided with him.

“Watch it!” Rin yelled after the speeding bike. The guy shouted something that sounded like “Sorry!” back and disappeared around the corner.

“Asshole,” he muttered. He looked up at Rei, who had let him go and was staring in the direction the bicyclist had disappeared in. “…Thanks for that. I think I probably owe you my first born now, or something.”

 “Don’t worry about it,” Rei said. He shook his head disapprovingly and added, “He’s still not wearing a helmet, I see.”

“What, do you know that guy?” Rin asked. They started up the stairs and Rin held open the door for Rei.

“Sort of. He always rides past the building around this time. No regard for traffic safety laws whatsoever.”

“Toss a trashcan in his path next time,” Rin said. “It’ll teach him a valuable lesson.”

Rei looked scandalized by that suggestion, and Rin couldn’t help laughing again.

It was amazing how much better he felt now than just a little earlier when he’d first woken up. Not to mention how relieved he was that he’d finally been able to talk to Rei.

 He’d had a really good time this morning, he realized as he waited for the shower pressure to lighten up. Rei had kindly allowed him to use the bathroom first, saying he had to go finish his laundry.

It had been fun having someone to run with. Especially someone better than him—which he _still_ couldn’t believe, by the way. Rei had seriously been holding out on him.

After they’d showered and gotten dressed, there ended up being time left to eat breakfast together—a completely novel experience for both of them—during which Rin brought up his troubles with Yasuya-san, as Mikoshiba had suggested, and Rei agreed to help track her down.

They parted ways after that, since their classes were located in different part of the campus.

 _Maybe_ , Rin thought as he headed toward the mathematics building, _maybe, if I remember, I'll start getting up early on Fridays to join Rei...After all, it couldn’t hurt to add more cardio into my regimen._

He couldn’t help smiling to himself at the prospect, and he didn’t stop until he sat down at his seat in the classroom, looked up at the board, and suddenly remembered he had a test to take.

* * *

 “You seem like you’re in a good mood.”

Rin lowered the energy bar he’d been about to take a bite of and glanced at the person who’d sat down next to him. It was a few hours after his math test—which he was fairly certain he’d aced. He always concentrated better after exercising—and he was now sitting in his political science classroom, trying to get some food into him before the professor arrived.

Iwashima was looking at him expectantly and Rin stared blankly back, already feeling the irritation rising in him.

Rin hadn’t exactly been looking forward to taking a polisci class in the first place—he was only doing it to fill a requirement—and once he’d found out he’d be sharing it with the most annoying person on the swim team, his already lackluster enthusiasm had all but turned to dust.

Seriously, if it weren’t for the fact that the guy was pretty decent at backstroke, Rin would have done him some permanent damage a long time ago.

“…What do you mean?” he eventually asked after Iwashima continued to stare at him for nearly a minute.

“Hmm. I don’t know,” he replied, tilting his head to the side. “Just a vibe you’re giving off. You finally get laid or something?”

“Go _away_ ,” Rin growled. Iwashima laughed.

“Yeah, I guess that was a stretch.” He yawned, pulled up his hood, and rested his arms and head on the table. “In any case, do me a favor and dial back your apparently non-postcoital glow. I wanna take a nap. Oh, and let me borrow your notes later, ‘kay?”

Rin was tempted to push him out of his chair after that, but the professor had walked in just then and class was starting, so he was forced to hold back.

And he hadn’t even gotten to eat his energy bar!

* * *

 “You seem like you’re in a good mood.”

On reflex, Rin spun around and nearly punched the person who’d said that. He managed to stop himself, however, when he came face-to-face with Haru, who gave him a weird look.

Rin sighed and slammed his locker shut. “Don’t know why anyone would think that,” he said, slinging his towel around his neck and heading towards the pool. “I’m not in a good mood. And I’m not ‘giving off a _vibe,’_ either,” he added, just in case that was where the conversation was heading.

“I never said you were,” Haru muttered, rolling his eyes. “You just look more relaxed, that’s all. Sorry I brought it up.”

Rin sort of felt bad for snapping at him. But then again, it wasn’t his fault people were being weird today.

* * *

 That Sunday, Rin ended up sleeping in later than usual. He’d been working on a project for English Lit the night before, in addition to swim practice, and hadn’t gone to bed until the early hours of the morning. He knew he could have waited until today to do some of the project, but he felt better just getting it out of the way so he could use his rest day to actually _rest_.

When he finally did get up around 11:30, he wandered into the living room and discovered that he was alone in the apartment. This wasn’t anything new of course, but Rin still couldn’t help feeling a little let down. He thought they’d established that Rei was going to start hanging out here.

Well, whatever. The nerd was probably ensconced in the library, studying his brains out. Rin couldn’t really fault him for that.

Sighing, he flopped down on the couch and settled in for another Sunday of watching TV dramas by himself. Maybe he’d mix it up today and read few magazines, or steal one of Rei’s books on the mechanics of floatation or something.

A few hours later, the door to the apartment clicked open, and it took Rin, who had been splitting his attention between Archimedes’ principle of buoyancy and the movie playing on TV, a moment to notice that Rei was standing in front of him.

“Oh, hey,” he said, sitting up from his lounging position. He left the book open on his chest and reached for the remote to turn the volume down. “Did you have fun at the library? You know, if you keep this up, they’re gonna start charging you rent.”

 “I wasn’t at the library,” Rei said, looking mildly offended.

 “Wow, that’s surprising. Where were you, then?”

 “I’ve been helping Haruka-senpai with something.”

 “Oh, Haru, huh?” Rin said, sitting up more fully and stretching his back. “What’d he want?”

 “Well, he’s starting a new project for his painting class,” Rei explained, seating himself gingerly on the very edge of one of the arms of the couch. “And he wanted to take reference photos of some structures around town. I kind of just followed him around and carried his things for him.”

 Rin groaned. “Oh, God. He made you a lackey! The same thing happened to me last year. Have some self-respect, Rei. He can carry his own damn tripod.”

 Rei laughed, not looking bothered in the slightest. “I was happy to do it. It’s not like it was particularly difficult. Plus, Haruka-senpai has a tendency to go off in his own world when he’s concentrating on something. He sort of needs someone there to make sure he doesn’t run into people or fall off the footbridges.”

 “Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Rin muttered. The guy usually did turn into even more space case when he was working on his art.

 “Haruka-senpai’s been working hard, hasn’t he?” Rei said, his expression turning thoughtful. “He showed me some of his work from last year, and you can really see how much he's improved over time.”

 “Yeah…I guess,” said Rin with a noncommittal shrug. He'd never really paid much attention to Haru’s art, in all honesty. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested; Haru just never bothered to talk to him about it that often. “Anyway…Since you’re home now, can we see about getting dinner? I think I forgot to eat today, so I’ve pretty much got one foot in the grave right now.”

 “That’s very unhealthy you, Rin-san,” Rei said, frowning at him disapprovingly. He rose from the couch and Rin followed. “Even if you’re not training today, it’s important you maintain a balanced diet and—oh.” He stopped suddenly and Rin almost ran into him.

“What’s up?”

“I just remembered,” Rei said, lowering his head slightly. He seemed kind of nervous. “Rin-san, would you mind going into the kitchen and waiting for me there? There’s something I need to give you.”

Rin was intrigued. “Sounds serious,” he said.

Rei shook his head. “It’s not, really, but I…just give me a minute.”

“Ok…” As Rei darted off to his bedroom, Rin went into the kitchen and took a seat at the table, wondering if he should be nervous or not.

Rei returned less than a minute later, clutching a smallish box in his hands, which he presented to Rin with a humble bow.

“Uh…thanks,” Rin said, but then he took a closer look and realized Rei had just handed him a box of energy bars. “Wait, why are you giving these to me?” Was it some sort of gesture of friendship?

Hanging his head contritely, Rei sat down across from him. “Well, the thing is, Rin-san…” he began. “A few days ago, I was running extremely late for my first class, I’m not really sure what happened, I must have slept through my alarm or something negligent like that…and I was very hungry, but I didn’t have time to prepare anything for breakfast, so in a moment of weakness I…”

 He looked miserably up at Rin, took a deep breath, and said all in a rush, “SoIgrabbedafewofyourenergybarsandatethemonmywaytoclass! And I’m very, _very_  sorry about that!”

It took Rin a second to work out what he’d said, but once he did, he laughed. “Is that what you’re so worked up about? Listen, Rei, it’s totally fine. I ate like half your cereal last week, so—”

“So, as soon I could,” Rei continued, plowing right through what Rin had been saying, “I went to the store to buy you some replacement bars, as was only right. I had hoped there would be some available for individual sale, but if that turned out not to be the case, I was prepared to buy you an entire box.”

“Which you certainly did,” Rin said with an affectionate smile, reaching out to pat Rei on the arm.

“I’m sorry it took me this long to give it to you. I forgot about it until just now.”

“Don’t worry about it," Rin said. "Either way, it’s probably the nicest, most unnecessary thing anyone has ever done for me. Thanks a lot.” Unfortunately, he couldn’t hold in the laughter that accompanied these words.

“I’m glad my anxiety is so amusing to you,” Rei said, but he was smiling, so Rin figured he probably wasn't mad. “I admit, it seems rather trivial now, but it was an enormous source of stress for me at the time.”

“Sorry,” Rin snickered.

“By the way, you can also consider that your birthday present,” Rei added drily. “For 2,000 yen, there had better be enough energy in those bars to power a small country.”

“Yeah, they’re way overpriced,” Rin agreed. “But they’re filling, so I keep buying them. They’re pretty much my lunch during the week.”

Rei’s eyebrows shot up at that. “What, your entire lunch?”

Rin nodded and leaned blithely back in his chair. “Yeah, I’ve only got fifteen minutes between classes, so I don’t have time to really sit and eat anything. It’s kind of annoying.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Rei cried, half-rising from the table. He fixed Rin with a look of pure horror. “Rin-san, you are a _swimmer_! How can you be so casual about that? Skipping meals is a cardinal sin of professional athletes! It’s damaging not only to overall performance, but also to your health _in general!_ How you haven’t dropped dead already is completely beyond me! Your body is a _machine_ , Rin-san, and food is what gives it its energy!”

“Uh, yeah,” Rin said with amusement. “Hence the _energy_ bars. I usually eat two at a time, so don’t worry about.”

“Energy bars are not a sufficient meal, no matter the quantity."

“I think I’ll be ok."

“There are a myriad of other things you could be eating that have the same convenience but will also supply you with the nutrients you need. Sandwiches, for instance, or wraps, or soup. Haven’t you ever heard of a thermos?”

“Yeah, well, like I said, I don’t have time stop and get anything. And I’m certainly not gonna _make_ myself lunch when I can just grab a bar and be on my way.”

“Then I’ll make it for you.”

“Will _not_!” Rin snorted, but Rei looked dead serious.

“Will too. I have the same problem with my class schedule, so I’m used to preparing things that can be eaten in a hurry. I might as well make your lunch while I’m making my own.”

Rin stared at him like he was crazy. Which he may well have been. “Sure, Rei,” he said patronizingly. “If you _really_ wanna make me lunch every day, then far be it from me to stop you.”

Rei looked pleased. “That’s settled then. If we’re lucky, we might be able to reverse some of the damage your energy bar diet has likely caused. Do be sure to let me know if you have any requests.”

 “Sure, sure,” said Rin. Seriously, what was this this guy? “But for the time being, let’s think about dinner instead. Still starving over here.”

 “You’re on your own, I’m afraid,” Rei said, getting up from the table. “I’ve been neglecting my homework for far too long already.”

“What!” Rin sprang up after him and following him to his room. “You make me sit through all that and I don’t even get dinner out of it?”

“Eat your energy bars,” Rei said, and he closed his door in Rin’s face.

* * *

 Ok, the truth was, Rin had been _sure_ that Rei would back out of the whole lunch thing. The notion of Rei actually making him lunch every weekday was laughable—something he’d blurted out in the throes of his righteous indignation over Rin’s eating habits.

He had expected Rei to forget all about it. _Rin_ had certainly forgotten about it.

Or at least he had until he went into the kitchen that Monday morning to grab his usual handful of energy bars and saw a bento box with his name on it sitting on the table.

He stared at for minute.

And once it became clear that Rei was not going to pop out of the woodwork to offer an explanation, Rin approached it cautiously, picked it up, and put it in his bag.

He honestly didn’t know how to feel about this development, but he managed to put it out of his mind during his first two classes. However, once it was time for polisci, a wave of anticipation washed over him, and he practically sprinted to the classroom.

There were a few people inside already, so Rin reined himself in a bit. He walked calmly to his seat and got out his books and pens first. Then, only after everything on the desk was perfectly arranged for optimum note-taking, he retrieved the lunchbox from the bottom of his bag.

Nothing really happened when he opened it. Not that he expected it to—it was a bento, not a jack-in-the-box, after all.

It turned out to be a simple, but nevertheless tasty-looking sandwich, small enough that he’d finish it before class began, but substantial enough to satisfy his hunger. It was very Rei; elegant yet utilitarian. Well, as elegant and utilitarian as a few slices of bread and meat could be.

There was also a napkin tucked underneath, on which Rei had painstakingly written out all the ingredients and their nutritional value, ending the whole thing with a  _Please enjoy responsibly,_ as if he’d given Rin a can of beer rather than a sandwich. He’d even signed his name.

“Who’s Rei?” said someone leaning over his shoulder. “Your girlfriend?”

Iwashima sat down next to him and looked at him with raised eyebrows,

“Nah, Rei’s a guy,” Rin replied. "And he’s not my girlfr—he's not my boyfriend. He’s my roommate. Not that it’s any of your business. Don't read other people’s napkins.”

“What’s your roommate doing making you lunch?”

“Beats me. I didn’t ask him to.”

 “Huh.” Iwashima nodded, his eyes fixed on the sandwich. “That’s good service.”

“I probably shouldn’t accept it,” Rin murmured, mostly to himself. This was obviously too much. He couldn’t, in good conscience, allow Rei to go to this much trouble for him.

“Yeah,” Iwashima agreed. “Especially if you’re not sleeping with him.” He was still staring at Rin’s lunch. “So now that we’ve decided, are you still going to eat that?”

“ _Go away!”_ Rin snapped, snatching his sandwich away from Iwashima’s wandering hand.

* * *

 In an act of revenge, Iwashima told the entire swim team that Rin’s roommate was making him personalized, handcrafted lunches. And Rin was stricken with horrible flashbacks of his third year of high school, after Nitori had let it slip to Momo, who let it slip to everyone else that Rei given him homemade cookies.

Both incidents had been Rei’s fault, but damage control had been significantly easier the first time around. He’d been captain of the team, after all. Now, however, he had to suffer through an entire practice of Iwashima and his friends making pointed remarks. And afterwards, both Haru and Mikoshiba had taken him aside and scolded him for taking advantage of Rei’s good nature. They just _refused_ to believe him when he told them that he’d done absolutely nothing to encourage it.

“Alright, _alright!_ ” he finally snapped after Mikoshiba had backed him into his locker, babbling on and on about respect and personal responsibility. “When I get home, I’ll tell him, ‘ _No more lunches_.’ Ok?”

“See that you do,” Mikoshiba said, and Haru nodded firmly behind him.

 _I'm_ happy _to do it!_  he thought as he trudged home. It had been a good sandwich, but it sure as hell wasn’t worth all that. Besides, it’s not like he’d wanted it in the first place. He’d been doing just fine with his energy bars.

It was better to just nip this in the bud.

Rei was doing homework at the kitchen table when Rin walked in the door. True to his word, Rei did seem to be making an effort to be at home more often. It had only been a few days since they’d talked about it, so who knew how long it would last, but Rin appreciated it just the same.

Rei looked up as Rin approached him and smiled. “Good practice?”

“I’ve had better,” Rin muttered, dropping his bag on the floor and taking a seat across from him. He took a deep breath. “Listen, about lunch…”

“Oh, right! What did you think? Did you like it?”

 “Yeah, uh, it was really good. But—”

“Thank goodness,” Rei said, looking relieved for some reason, which Rin found rather odd. The chances of Rei serving him a meal that was anything less than perfect were incredibly low, given Rei’s meticulous personality. “I made you the same thing I had for lunch for the sake of convenience, but I was worried you might not be happy with it. We don’t have the same tastes, after all. I want you to get the proper nourishment, of course, but I also want you to enjoy it.”

 Oh, God. Rei wasn’t making this easy. He was so innocent—his intentions so pure. Rin could feel his determination beginning to waver.

“Well, uh, be that as it may—”

“Once I find out what you like, I’ll be sure to start including items more suited to your palate,” Rei said with a kind smile. "I'm actually kind of looking forward to it. I find cooking to be an extremely relaxing hobby."

 …Ah. And there it went. All the resolve he’d built up on his way home teetered and collapsed.

 He covered his face with a hand. “That sounds good,” he mumbled. “Thanks, Rei.”

“You’re very welcome.” Rin didn’t need to be looking at him to know he was wearing a proud smile. “You must admit, Rin-san; it was definitely better than an energy bar.”

“ _So_ much better."

“You’re getting spring rolls tomorrow.”

“That’s very exciting.”

 _If Rei hadn't looked so damned happy_ , Rin thought a little while later as he lay in bed, _then_   _I_ _might have been able to lay down the law!_

What the hell was wrong with him? And what the hell was wrong with _Rei?_ What was he even getting out of this? The whole thing seemed like one big joke, and it was unclear if it was Rei on the butt end of it or Rin.  But one thing was sure; Rei was going to keep making Rin lunch as long as cared to. Since apparently Rin was too weak to stop him.

* * *

 The rest of the week and the one after passed in a whirlwind of spring rolls and sandwiches and wraps. Rin had worked out an arrangement with Iwashima—one portion of his lunch for every day he kept his mouth shut to the rest of the team.

He didn’t actually mind all that much. Rei almost always packed him a small dessert item, and since Rin was a huge fan of sweets, he had no problem using it to buy Iwashima’s silence.

That way Haru and Mikoshiba would never know a thing... but it did feel like he was keeping some sort of dirty secret from them.

Now that some time had passed, Rin could honestly say that Rei’s lunches were a huge improvement to his overall quality of life. The energy bars had satisfied his hunger, but they definitely never made him feel as refreshed as Rei’s lunches did. Besides, Rei was right. Even though Rin took pretty good care of himself in general, all those days of improper lunches probably would have caught up with him eventually, and he really couldn’t afford that. Especially not right now.

“Have you given any more thought to the 400 free?” Rin asked Haru one night at practice, a week before their first competition. It was the middle of the break, and Haru was floating on his back in his usual lane while Rin sat on the ledge.

“Not really,” Haru replied without opening his eyes.

“Well, you’d better get a move on. They’ve gotta submit the lineup soon.”

 “...I’m not doing it.”

“Why not?” Rin asked incredulously. “Coach Fujimya really wants to put you in.”

“Don’t feel like it.”

 Rin flicked some water at him. “That’s a terrible reason,” he said. “Don’t be lazy. You could probably get it down to 4 minutes by next week if you start working right now.”

Haru finally cracked an eye open. “I’m already in three events. That’s enough for me. I don’t want to do another.”

“Suit yourself,” Rin sighed. “You should still get in some extra practice, though. I reserved a lane for this Sunday. You should come with me.”

“Can’t,” said Haru. He’d shut eyes again and was slowly gliding away from Rin. “I’ve got a painting due Monday. Gotta work on that.”

“You know,” Rin said, raising his voice a bit so Haru could hear him as he drifted off in the opposite direction, “You might wanna start concentrating a little less on the art and a little more on _swimming_.”

Haru came to a halt, planted his feet on the pool floor, and _glared_ at Rin. He looked pissed, but Rin couldn’t help himself. “Just something for you to think about,” he added flippantly.

 Haru ducked under the water and when he resurfaced, he was standing right in front of Rin. “Race me,” he said.

“Gladly,” Rin replied with a smirk, happy he managed to rile him up. He rose to feet and made to head over to the water cooler. “Come find me when break’s over.”

“No. Now.”

“Don’t you think that’d cause a scene?”

 “Don’t care. Get in.”

 There was something blazing in Haru’s eyes and Rin wasn’t entirely sure if it was a good thing or not. He was keen to find out, though. Had he actually struck a chord?

“Fine.” Looking around to make sure everyone else was distracted, Rin chuckled and slipped into the lane next to him. “Someone’s eager.”

“Shut up.”

“Ready…”

“ _Go_ ,” Haru finished.

They pushed off the wall at exactly the same time and sped toward the other end of the pool. Even though he was used to it by now, Rin still found himself nearly giddy with excitement and adrenaline. He never got tired of racing Haru.

They reached the other side and slid into flip-turns simultaneously, and Rin knew it would end in a tie, or possibly an extremely close win in Haru’s favor.

What he _wasn’t_ counting on, however, was Haru getting possessed by some sort of speed demon at 75 meters in.

It came out of nowhere. One moment Rin was neck-in-neck with him, and the next Haru had surged forward, leaving nothing but a cloud of bubbles in his wake. Rin was shocked, but he did his best to adjust his speed accordingly. It was too late, though.

Rin hit the wall a good six seconds after Haru.

Panting, he ripped his goggles off and turned to see Haru standing placidly in his lane, listening to Coach Fujimiya gush at him. Apparently their little race had drawn spectators. Their teammates and the coaches had gathered around the two lanes.

“That was fantastic, Nanase!” Coach Fujimiya was saying, waving his clipboard in Haru’s face. “That pick-up after the third quarter was nothing short of amazing. Oh—and you too, Matsouka. That was a good effort on your part. You nearly had him. Very promising, indeed, boys. But, uh, in the future, let’s use break time to actually take a break, alright?”

“Yes, sir,” Rin muttered, and Haru nodded.

Assistant-Coach Honda blew his whistle. “Show’s over, everyone! Get back at it,” he called, and everyone began to disperse, some giving them weird looks as they passed by.

Once the attention was off them, Rin rounded on Haru. “What the hell was that?” he demanded. He wasn’t angry, or anything. He was…confused.

Haru looked coolly back at him. “Just something for you to think about,” he said, echoing Rin’s own words back at him.

Ok. _That_ made him a little angry.

Before he could say anything, Haru dipped under again and didn’t emerge until he was halfway down the lane. Rin sighed and let his gaze wander back up to the automated timers that were affixed to the starting blocks. The six-second difference between his and Haru’s times gleamed back at him in all their digital, neon-green glory.

 Grimacing, he turned away And snapped his goggles back on.

He spent the rest of practice swimming 100 meter lengths of freestyle. He was technically supposed to be working on butterfly, but nobody tried to stop him. They probably all knew what he was doing.

An hour later, he’d only managed to reduce his time by two seconds. It was a personal best, but it wasn’t good enough.

Haru didn’t talk to him again that night. And as he watched him get out of the pool and head to the locker room as soon the clock struck 10, Rin began to realize that he hadn't struck a chord so much as touched a nerve.

Even though practice had officially ended, Rin stayed where he was, not planning on leaving until he matched Haru’s time, if not beat it. Slowly but surely, the pool emptied out until only Rin remained. It wasn’t unheard of for people to want to stick around after practice was over, so all the lights and timers remained on.

Minutes passed, then hours, and Rin had no idea how long he’d been at it. He’d lost track of any time that wasn't the one glowing in front of him on the starting block. All he knew was that at some point he’d begun to get tired. But he hadn’t made nearly as much progress as he would have liked, so he didn't stop.

He pushed off the wall for what had to be the thousandth time that night, and wondered for what had to be the _millionth_ time that night just how Haru had done it. It had looked simple enough—just a random burst of speed three-fourths of the way in, but Rin just couldn’t get the same results.

 _Well, that’s why they call him a genius_ , he thought as went into the turn. It was so impressive that Rin still wasn't even mad. He was _inspired._

This time, when he hit the wall, the timer showed that he’d knocked a few milliseconds off his current time. It was the first improvement he’d made in at least half an hour, and Rin was about to go one more time to celebrate when he was stopped by the sound of the door to the locker room opening and an eerily quiet “Pardon the intrusion…”

Rin couldn’t help it. He screamed, and the owner of the ghost-voice screamed, too, and Rin ducked under the water.

It wasn’t a great hiding place, but it was all he had at the moment. Luckily, sixteen years of swimming had given him a pretty good lung capacity, so he reckoned he had at least a minute and a half before he drowned.

Logically, he realized after some time, it was likely someone from the swim team who’d forgotten something, and not a crazed murderer. But then again…none of his teammates would ever be polite enough to announce themselves like that. A murderer probably wouldn’t either... And that scream had sounded kind of familiar….

“Rei?” he called, popping up out of the water.

Rei, who was still standing by the door and looking thoroughly lost, jumped and began searching around for the source of the voice. When his eyes finally landed on Rin in a lane at the far end of the pool, his face relaxed. “Oh, there you are,” he sighed, coming around the side. “That’s a relief.”

“What are you doing here?” Rin asked resting his arms on the pool ledge. His heart rate had returned to normal, and it was probably telling of just how wiped he was that he wasn’t even that surprised to see him here.

 Rei stood in front of his lane, looking down at him bemusedly. “I…well, obviously, I was looking for _you_.”

“Well, you found me,” Rin said, looking Rei up and down. His hair was in slight disarray and he was just wearing jeans and sweatshirt. He seemed a bit frazzled, completely different from the tidy specimen Rin had left earlier that evening. “What’s up?” He laughed, and added, “Man, you Iwatobi guys sure like breaking into pools. I can think several separate occasions.”

 Rei did not look amused. In fact, he looked downright uncomfortable. And sort of mad.

 “I’m sure you can,” he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and glaring down at Rin. “In any case, don’t you want to know why I was looking for you?”

“Because you missed me?”

 _“No,”_ he snapped. “Mikoshiba-san stopped by our apartment about twenty minutes ago. He wanted to borrow your hairdryer or something. And when I informed him that you hadn’t come home yet, he told me that you were probably still at the pool. So I decided to see if he was correct.”

“Oh,” said Rin, biting his lip. Then he smirked. “What, were you worried about me, Rei?”

“Not at all. I didn’t even notice you were gone until Mikoshiba-san drew my attention to it. I only came here to make sure you hadn’t slipped and cracked your head open. I’m surprised the doors weren't locked.”

“Oh,” Rin said again, a little sourly this time. “The place is on an automatic lock system. It doesn’t activate ‘til 1 a.m.” He paused and let out a snort. “Haru found that out the hard way last year.”

“Well, it’s 12:50, right now,” Rei told him.

“Oh. Shit. I guess I really did lose track of time,” Rin muttered, looking down that the water. Then he glanced up at Rei. “Sorry. I probably should have texted you or something.”

“Forget it,” Rei said, already turning and heading toward the exit. “Let’s just go.”

Rin got changed in the locker room while Rei waited outside, holding open the door for him in case he didn’t make the 1 a.m. cut-off. 

They walked back to the building in silence. _Awkward_ silence, Rin couldn’t help thinking. He was feeling sort of guilty now. Rei looked like he’d just rolled out of bed, and Rin knew he hated going out looking anything other than his best.

He must have really put Rei out.

Rin was ready to go right to bed when they got back to the apartment. In addition to the guilt, Rei’s silence had also given provided ample time for the embarrassment to set in. There was no way Rei hadn’t realized he’d walked in on Rin right smack in the middle of swimming-bender. A pretty severe one, too. Rin was certain his eyes still held lingering traces of the frustrated tears he’d shed at some point.

He really just wanted to sleep it off.

 Unfortunately for him, Rei had other plans.

“Hang on, Rin-san," he called when Rin tried to head straight to his room. “I really think you should eat something. You’ve been swimming for nearly five hours straight, haven’t you?”

Rin was about to protest, but his stomach vetoed it with a growl before he could get the words out. So he begrudgingly took a seat at the table instead and allowed Rei to heat up some leftover rice for him.

Once his food was on the table, he expected Rei to ditch him for his own bedroom, but to his surprise, Rei joined him at the table.

They were silent again, just like they had been on the walk home, which really wasn’t doing anything for Rin’s appetite. He picked at his rice and Rei fiddled with his glasses. And just when Rin couldn’t take it anymore and was about to demand why Rei was sticking around and making things weird for him, Rei looked up at him and cleared his throat.

“Rin-san,” he began hesitantly, “May I ask why—”

Oh, no. Rin did not want to have this conversation. Too bad for Rei, but it was a little late for that. Rin was no longer in the same chatty, endorphin-induced mood he’d been in when Rei had first come across him at the pool.

He hadn’t beaten Haru’s time, hadn’t even managed to match it, and he didn’t really want to talk about it. That was _his_ problem, not Rei’s, and he’d deal with it later.

 In the meantime, he’d change the subject.

“Hey, Rei,” he said, cutting him off before he could finish his thought. “Were you asleep before Mikoshiba came over with his missing person’s alert?”

Rei raised an eyebrow at the interruption, but answered him readily enough. “No. I was working on some things for school.”

“It’s kind of late for you to be doing homework,” Rin commented.

“Well, it’s kind of late for you to be swimming,” Rei shot back. Rin tensed up.

“Look,” he said, unable to keep the defensive edge out of his voice. “That’s not something I do a lot, ok? In fact, that’s the first time I’ve done it in a long time.”

 “If you don’t do it often, then why all of a sudden? What made you decide to stay behind tonight?” Rei was staring at him with an intensity that he didn’t like.

 _He's trying psychoanalyze me_ , he realized.

Rin looked away. “No reason,” he said, with as casual a shrug as he could manage. It wasn’t very effective though. His neck and shoulders ached a little. “Got a competition coming up. I just felt like getting some extra laps in.”

Rei nodded thoughtfully, as though that were something he hadn’t considered. He still wasn’t dropping it, though.

“Earlier,” he said after some hesitation, “Mikoshiba-san mentioned that it seemed like you and Haruka-senpai were having some sort of…dispute?”

“That had nothing to do with it,” Rin said immediately. He looked down at his plate of half-eaten rice and let some of his hair fall into his face. “And it wasn’t really a dispute,” he added, glancing back up at Rei and forcing a carefree smile onto his face. “He beat me in a race, and I was just kinda surprised. But we’re cool. Honestly, Rei, I just had some extra energy to work off. It was probably thanks to those lunches of yours.”

Rei gave him a searching look, and Rin raised his eyebrows, smile still plastered on. And finally— _finally—_ he seemed ready to let Rin off the hook.

“...I told you they’d help, Rin-san,” he said, taking up an equally fake smile. “They’re perfectly engineered to serve all of your nutritional needs.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rin said, shaking his head and trying to ignore how robotic Rei had sounded. “Anyway, I’m sorry you had to come get me. It won’t happen again.”

 “It’s fine. I’m just glad you’re ok. I really was worried you’d knocked yourself unconscious.”

Rin gave a weak laugh and stood up, stretching as he did so. “Well,” he yawned, “It’s almost 1:30. We should probably go to bed.”

Rei nodded and stood as well, taking Rin’s dish to the sink. “I expect you’ll fall right asleep after the workout you’ve had.”

 _Let’s fuckin’ hope so_ , Rin thought as he walked into his bedroom. He had absolutely no desire to spend the night tossing and turning and replaying the last few hours in head until the sun came up, as he was wont to do whenever things didn’t go his way.

It had been easy enough to convince himself that he was just a few laps away from his goal while he was still in the pool. But now that he was dried off and lying in bed, with a gob of leftover rice just sitting in stomach instead of being converted to usable energy, Rin knew full well that he hadn’t been just a few laps away. He probably wasn’t even a _thousand_ laps away 

He sighed.

Things always looked so much bleaker outside of the water.

* * *

 Around three in the morning, Rin, who hadn’t been able to fall asleep, despite his best efforts, went out to the kitchen to get something to drink.

And that was when he noticed that the light was still on in Rei’s room.

It looked like Rin wasn’t the one who couldn’t sleep. He hoped he wasn’t the cause of it. Rei was definitely the type to stay up at night worrying about his friends. But Rin had thought he’d done a pretty good job convincing him he was fine.

Curious, Rin abandoned his previous mission, went back into his room, and knelt in front the hole in their wall. Careful not to make any noise, he slowly lifted up a corner of the blanket and peered inside.

What he had been expecting to see was Rei lying in bed with a book open on his chest. Maybe listening to some music—the normal things people did when they couldn’t sleep.

What he saw instead was Rei with his back to him, sitting up rigidly straight at his desk, with one hand scribbling furiously across a piece of paper and the other pounding away at a calculator.

Eventually, Rin lowered the blanket, stood up, and got back into bed, convinced that he could probably sleep for _days_ now. Just watching Rei for a few minutes had made him exhausted. He felt obscurely grateful to him.

 And also incredibly sorry for him.

Rei must have had a hell of a lot of homework tonight, Rin thought as he snuggled down deeper under his covers. 

He fell sound asleep soon after.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iwashima ships it. The entire swim team ships it. Anyway, sorry it was so long, but omg there was actual plot this time! I'm so glad. It can't always be butterfly blankets and information pamphlets for these boys. There's gotta be DRAMA. Rin's got his swimming/haru related angst and I'm sure you can probably guess what Rei's gonna be dealing with. I should really change the summary to "emotional, insecure babies attempt to live as adults and are surprised when they fail." Also, please disregard every description of swimming and running in this thing. I haven't sport-ed in 83 years, so i'm very out of touch with what exercise feels like.
> 
> Next chapter is already outlined! It's more of the same+ bonus emotional meltdown. I won't say whose.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who read/commented/kudoed!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin works very hard on his friendships. Rei just works very hard in general

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I promised there'd be a meltdown somewhere in here, but due to my inability to properly pace things, that had to get pushed back. We'll just jump right into that next time. In the meantime, enjoy an obnoxiously long transitional chapter.

Rin decided not to mention anything to Rei. Mostly because Rei probably wouldn’t be too crazy about the fact that Rin had been spying on him through the hole. Rin couldn’t blame him for that, of course. It wasn’t like he was doing anything impure, but it probably _was_  crossing a few boundaries. He needed to make sure that didn’t become a habit.

Also...it just wasn’t really his business. Rei was allowed to stay up as late as he wanted. Sure, it wasn’t exactly healthy to be doing homework at all hours of the night, but if that was what worked for him, far be it from Rin to give him a hard time about it.

Besides, he had his own problems to deal with.

Haru didn’t say anything their little tiff at practice the next day. In fact, he acted as though he had no idea what Rin was talking when he’d timidly attempted to say he was sorry. Although that might have been Rin’s own fault. He still wasn’t entirely sure what he’d done to set Haru off, so his apology was a bit vague as a result. 

Still. It was a little disheartening that the whole thing had apparently taken a greater toll on Rin than it had on Haru. It just didn’t seem fair that he had spent all night worrying about it while Haru had apparently forgotten anything had even happened. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel relieved. Rin knew that he often hurt people without meaning to, and he was truly fortunate to have friends who were willing to forgive him time and again. Even if in Haru’s case it wasn’t forgiveness so much as indifference.

They managed to pass most of the next week without incident. Looking back on it, Rin realized that this might have been because they were far too busy preparing for their events in the competition that weekend to really talk to each other. It was when they finally _did_ talk to each other that they ran into another problem.

Rin had just been about to leave the locker room after practice on Thursday night when Haru had come up to him and shoved a piece of paper in front of his face.

Rin blinked at it before snatching it out of Haru’s hand. “What the hell is this?”

“Read it, idiot,” Haru said, rolling his eyes. It turned out to be a flyer for the school’s Fine Arts Night being held next week. It was an occasion, according to the smaller print beneath the blazing header, to appreciate the creative work of specially selected students from each department…With free refreshments provided. Ah. That was probably what had caught Haru’s attention.

“That sounds nice,” Rin said, holding the flyer back out to him. “But you’re the freebie king, not me. Why are you giving me this?”

“Because I’m gonna be in it,” Haru said. He looked down at the floor and stuffed his hands in his pockets, making no move to take the paper from Rin.

“Oh…that’s cool,” Rin said. He looked back down at the flyer for lack of anything better to do.

A short silence stretched between them until Haru finally looked up from the floor. “…It’s the project I had due the other week,” he elaborated, his tone reluctant. “I didn’t think it was anything special, but my teacher liked it, so he submitted for review, and the department decided to display it.”

“Oh…” Rin said again. “Congratulations.” Then something occurred to him and he smirked. “Wait a minute. Is this the same project that kept you from getting in extra practice with me last week?”

To his surprise, instead of taking the obvious bait, Haru just glared at him. “Yeah, that’s the one,” he said shortly. “Anyway, just do me a favor and pass that along to Rei. He likes that sort of thing, so I figured he might be interested in going. See you later.” He turned around and started for the door.

“Hold on!” Rin cried. “What about me?”

Haru stopped and glanced back at him. “What about you?”

Rin floundered for a second. “I…are you inviting me or not?”

“I don’t really care what you do,” Haru said, turning his head away from him again and continuing out the door. “Come if you want.”

The door swung shut after him, and Rin was left alone in the locker room with the flyer dangling limply by his side. A horrible combination of confusion and hurt settled in his chest and followed him all the way home and into bed that night.

 “I just don’t get what his problem is!” he complained to Rei the next day on the way back from their morning run. The more he’d thought about it as he was trying to fall asleep, the more irritated he’d become.

What the hell had he even done this time? It had been a pretty short conversation, so Rin hadn’t had that much time to screw everything up. It was kind of impressive, actually. That was the second time in two weeks. It had to be some sort of record. Maybe he should just forget about swimming and make pissing off Haru his full time job. God knew he was _amazing_ at it.

“He just got mad at me for no reason! And by the way, I don’t really like playing errand boy for the two of you. He could have just told about it himself.”

Rei bent over to tie his shoe as Rin tapped his foot impatiently on the sidewalk. “He did tell me. A while ago, actually.” He straightened up and looked Rin in the eye. “And please don’t take this the wrong way, but… you’re not very smart, are you?”

“Excuse me? What way am I _supposed_ to take that?”

Rei sighed in a long-suffering way, which did nothing to alleviate Rin’s sudden desire to kick him in the ankle. “It’s a criticism, not an insult.”

“That’s practically the same thing in this case. _You’re_ the one who’s not very smart here.”

Rei didn’t respond, and it took Rin a moment to notice that he still wasn't moving.

“What?” he barked, spinning around to face him.

“Rin-san, sometimes you are so oblivious that I don’t know how you manage to function.  _Obviously_ Haruka-senpai was trying to invite you to the event, but you just brushed him off before he got the chance.”

Rin stared at him. “…How did I brush him off? What, with the swimming comment? I didn’t mean anything by that.”

“Well, you probably should have made that clearer. It might have come off as unsupportive.”

They started jogging again, and Rin kept silent as he tried to make sense of that.

“…I wasn’t trying to brush him off!” he blurted out eventually. “It’s not my fault he took it like that. Besides, I wasn’t _wrong_. I mean, it wouldn’t have killed him to put down the pastels for an hour and swim a few lengths!”

Rin threw up his hands in exasperation, and when he glanced over at Rei, he found himself on the receiving end of an extremely dirty look.

“ _What_?”

“You don’t know that, Rin-san,” Rei said, pushing his glasses up. “Maybe if he _had_ spent that hour swimming instead of working, the final product wouldn’t have turned out as well as it did. He put in a lot of effort to achieve that sort of quality.”

Rin snorted. “Yeah, I doubt that. Haru’s probably as much of an artistic genius as he is a swimming genius. I just wish he’d taking _swimming_ a little more seriously.”

Rei frowned at him, but didn’t say anything, which only made Rin feel like he had to defend himself further.

“Plus, he even told me that it wasn’t anything special. Doesn’t sound like he was working himself _that_ hard.”

“Well…I think you’ve got it wrong,” Rei said quietly. He glanced at Rin with something like disappointment in his eyes and added, “It’s not pastels, by the way.”

 “What?”

“His project. It’s not pastels; it’s watercolor.”

“…Oh.”

They didn’t talk anymore after that. Rei apparently had nothing more to say to Rin on the Haru-subject, and Rin wasn’t about to keep harping on about it. In fact, he was starting to regret brining it up in the first place. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he suddenly felt a little...ashamed of himself. Like he really _had_ done something wrong. It was probably because of that weird  _look_  Rei had given him.

It was clear that Rei was displeased with him, but he had absolutely no idea how to fix it. There didn’t seem to be anything to apologize for, but he must said _something_ that bothered him…It shouldn’t be that hard to figure out. Just like with Haru the day before, it hadn’t been a long conversation. He just needed to pinpoint where he’d gone wrong.

Unfortunately, he was a little short on time; he was leaving for their first competition in Osaka today.

“So, uh,” he began awkwardly, lingering in front of the stairs leading to the front door of the building.

Rei, who was already on the third step, glanced back at him. But before Rin could continue, Rei suddenly grabbed the front his shirt and yanked him forward. At that moment, the same maniac on a bike who rode past the building every morning went whizzing by.

“…Thanks,” Rin breathed out. He gave a weak chuckle. “Geez, what was that? The third time?”

“Fourth,” Rei said, releasing his grip on Rin’s collar. “You really need to start paying better attention to your surroundings.” There was no trace of levity in his voice, which Rin found rather unnerving.

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his shoes. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rei said, turning around and continuing up the stairs. Rin followed silently behind him.

Once they were back in their apartment, he tried again.

“Listen, I probably won’t see you before you get back from class. My flight leaves at 5.”

“Oh. That’s right.” Rei was halfway to his room, but now he paused, and it seemed like he wanted to add more. Rin looked at him expectantly, his heart rate picking up slightly.

 “…Make sure you’ve packed everything,” was all he said, however, and with that, he gave Rin a curteous smile and walked away.

Rin blinked in surprise. “Um. Yeah.” He stood alone in the middle of the living room, feeling a little lost.  Eventually he shook his head and wandered over to Rei’s room. Leaning against the doorframe, he watched as Rei dug around in his closet for something.

Rei didn’t seem to notice he was there, so Rin cleared his throat. “Anyway…enjoy having the place to yourself. But don’t go too crazy. I have veto power over all decorating decisions, so don’t think you can put up butterfly patterned wallpaper or whatever while I’m gone.”

Rei stopped rummaging and turned to him. “I don’t really know when I’d have time to do that,” he said, looking thoughtful.

“Well, it was just an—” Rin began, but Rei had finally found what he was looking for—which turned out to be a towel—and brushed past him before he could finish.

Gritting his teeth, Rin followed him to bathroom. “It was just an _example."_  He crossed his arms over chest and glared at Rei. “By the way, don’t forget to lock the door at night.”

“I won’t,” Rei said, closing the bathroom door.

“And don’t mix my mail up with yours!” Rin called over the sound of the shower being turned on.

“I won’t!” Rei called back.

Rin banged on the door. “And don’t stay up too late!”

“I won’t!”

Rin let out a dejected sigh and leaned his forehead on the door. Was this really how they were going to leave things?

“…And don’t miss me too much!” he called out after a minute, in one last desperate attempt to get Rei to say more than two words to him before he left.

There was no response for a moment, and Rin wondered if maybe Rei hadn’t heard him over the shower. But then he called back, “I won’t.” 

Rin gave up after that. There wasn’t much else he _could_ do.

…It wasn’t really a big deal, he later reflected. After all, he hadn’t been _serious_. So Rei’s response didn’t matter one way or the other.  But the weird thing was...even though he’d definitely, definitely meant it as a joke… Rin could have sworn that in that moment, he’d felt his heart sink. Just a little bit.

For some _bizarre_ reason.

* * *

 

Nearly eighteen hours later, Rin still didn’t feel any better.

Part of it might have been because he’d been awake for even longer than that. Their flight to Osaka, which should have only taken two hours, had been delayed because of a lightening storm and had ended up taking six instead. It was past midnight now and they had only just boarded the bus that would take them from the airport to the hotel. Haru had managed to sleep on the plane and was currently _still_ asleep next to him on the bus. Rin on the other hand, was wide-awake. Between the turbulence they’d experienced on the plane, the unfortunate seating arrangement that had forced him to spend the entire flight listening to the coach, assistant coach, and advisor take turns blaming each other for not taking the train instead, and the terrible mood he’d already been in since this morning, Rin’s nerves were completely shot.

In a sudden fit of pique he tugged his arm out from underneath Haru’s slumbering form and took his phone out of his pocket to compose a text message.

 

 **To:** Rei Ryugazaki

 **Message:** You up?

 

He smirked to himself as he hit send.

Somewhere between Tokyo and Nagoya, Rin had decided that everything bad that had happened to him today was Rei’s fault. He wasn’t exactly sure how or _why_ , but Rei successfully fucked up his state of mind, and that was _not_ something you did to a guy right before his big competition. He’d had plenty of time to think about it over the course of the day, and while Rin still no idea what this morning had been about, he had come to the conclusion that he didn’t owe Rei a damn thing.

His plan right now was to keep texting him until he woke up. Make Rei suffer along with him for a little while. At least until he got to the hotel. It was immature, sure, but Rei had been on his mind all day and he was crabby, bored, and completely sick of it.

 _And I’m_ not _blowing it out of proportion_ , he assured himself. He could handle Haru being pissed at him. That wasn’t anything new. What he would not tolerate, however, was _Rei_ being pissed at him. _Especially_ on Haru’s behalf. That was just…no. No, no, no.

To Rin’s surprise and utter disgust, Rei texted him back almost immediately.

 

 **Message:** Yes. Do you need something?

 

Rin frowned. He really hadn’t expected Rei to be up. How was he supposed to harass him _now_? And he was pretty fucking coherent, to boot. What the hell was Rin supposed to do with that?

 

 **Reply:** Yeah, I wanted to let you know our plane landed. Like an hour ago. You know, since you never bothered asking.

 **Message:** That’s nice.

 

Rin raised an eyebrow when he read that. So. He was still doing the two-word response thing. Great.

 

 **Reply:** Well you don’t have to take that tone. Just thought you might like to know I’m not dead. Jerk.

 **Message:** There was no tone. I’m very relieved you’ve arrived safely. Please continue to keep informed on every aspect of your journey. Where are you now? On a bus, perhaps? Is it from an accredited company? How is your driver? You may have survived the plane ride, but you could still end up in a ditch on the side of the road.

 

Rin laughed in spite of himself, and he bit his lip before he ended up waking Haru.

 

 **Reply:** Did I wake you up, by any chance?

 **Message:** No, I was already awake. Why?

 **Reply:** Because you seem like you’re in a bad mood.

 

He knew he probably wasn’t one to talk, especially given the circumstances under which he’d begun texting Rei in the first place…but then again, he was actually beginning to feel marginally less rotten now.

Rei’s reply took a little longer this time.

 

 **Message:** Sorry. I’m fine…It’s actually a good thing you texted. Now I can tell you that I managed to track down Yasuya-san earlier.

 **Reply:** FOR REAL??? WHAT DID SHE SAY????????

 **Message:** Don’t get too excited. She said we’ll have to wait a while longer to fix the wall. Something about electrical wiring running through the interior that requires maintanence?

 **Reply:**  Wiring? That sounds...hazardous?

 **Message:** She was rather unclear about everything, so maybe play it safe and don’t get too close from now on? I hope my blanket’s ok. Though, to be quite honest, I think it’s more of a money issue. She probably just didn’t want to say so.

 **Reply:** Fucking perfect.  It’s never gonna get fixed, is it?

 **Message:** Sorry…

 **Reply:** Eh, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. Thanks for talking to her.

 **Message:** You don’t have to thank me. I live there too, you know.  And the good news is that I got her to dock our rent for this month. So there’s that, at least.

 **Reply:** My hero!

 **Message:** I hope you’re not being sarcastic. That wasn’t easy to swing. I took a look at our rental contract, by the way. You’re an idiot for signing it.

 **Reply:** Shut up. That’s old news.

 **Message:** True. I apologize.

 **Reply:** Ok, now, I KNOW there was a tone that time. Quit it…Anyway, it’s late. I’ll let you go. You should really get some sleep. I swear you keep the weirdest hours, Rei.

 **Message:** Yeah. You might be right about that.

 

Rin stared at Rei’s last message, somewhat shocked that he’d slipped into such casual language. That probably meant he was pretty tired. Rin felt a little guilty for keeping him up, which was the exact opposite of how he’d started. _Keeping him up_ had been his plan in the first place.

Why was that, again? He was mad at Rei, right? For…something. Or had Rei been mad at him?

 _Oh, right_ , he thought, shaking his head _. I was mad at_ Rei _for being mad at_ me _for…something to do with Haru._

But apparently it wasn’t an issue anymore. It was funny—as soon as he’d actually started texting Rei, his anger had just dissipated. 

Huh. Weird.

He was about to slip his phone back into his pocket when it buzzed again.

 

 **Message:** Good luck tomorrow, by the way. I know you’ll do well.

 

Rin’s face heated up and he typed out a quick “Thanks.” A few seconds later, Iwashima popped up in the seat in front of him, startling Rin so badly that he almost dropped his phone.

“Matsuoka,” he said loudly. Rin glared at him and gestured to Haru, who was still fast asleep next to him.

“Whoops, sooorrry,” he drawled, not lowering his voice in the slightest.

“What do you want?”

“Do you know when we’re gonna get to the hotel?  I really gotta piss.”

Rin rolled his eyes. “No idea. But I’m pretty sure there’s a bathroom in the back.” He turned away and slid down in his seat. Hopefully it would look like he was going to sleep and Iwashima would leave him alone.

No such luck.

“Ew, no. I’ll wait ‘til we get there. In the meantime, you need to distract me. Tell me a story. Or let me look at you teeth. Actually,  _no,_ don’t do that—Those things’ll probably scare it right outta me.”

“How about instead I shove my _foot_ up your—” He was interrupted by another vibration from his phone.

“Oooh, cliffhanger." Iwashima smirked at Rin, but thankfully turned back around in his seat.

  

 **Message:** You’re welcome. I know for a fact that you’ve been training diligently, so of course you’ll be amazing. Sorry—I really ought to have said all of this before you left. It’s not very good form to do it in a text message. But better late than never, I suppose. Though you probably don’t need to hear it from me in the first place. Anyway, sorry. Again. I’ll let you sleep now. Good night.

 

After reading that over a few times, Rin was… a little overwhelmed, quite honestly. He stared down at his screen, too embarrassed to reply, but pleased nonetheless.  His smile, which had disappeared the moment Iwashima opened his mouth, returned in full force, and he could feel something might have eventually turned into a giggle bubbling up from his stomach. Fortunately, it never actually managed to reach that point.

When he glanced up from his phone, Iwashima was watching him, this time with just his forehead and eyes peeking out at him from over the headrest. Rin swallowed down whatever sound had been about to make its way out of him and reflexively brought an arm up to his face, smothering his smile with the back of his wrist.

“What?” he mumbled after Iwashima continued staring for a few seconds.

“…Nuthin’." To Rin’s surprise he turned back around again.

Sighing quietly in relief, Rin lowered his arm, put his phone back in his pocket, and slouched further down in his seat. Maybe he’d be able to sleep a little now that he wasn’t so preoccupied. Except his face was still weirdly hot. That was kind of distracting…

A minute later, Iwashima popped back up for the third time, and Rin’s eyes flew open.

“ _What_?”

“SSSHHH. You’re so loud!” Iwashima cried, pointing at Haru the way Rin had earlier.

Rin just glared at him. “Seriously. What do you want?”

“‘Seriously,’ huh?” Iwashima hummed to himself. Rin eyed him warily.

“Tell me something; are you _sure_ you don’t have a girlfriend?”

“Oh,” Rin said, relaxing a bit. He’d been sure it was going to be another crack about his teeth. “Yeah. Last time I checked.”

Iwashima nodded thoughtfully. “I see. Then a boyfriend, maybe?”

“ _Ditto_ ,” Rin replied through gritted teeth. Hopefully it was dark enough on the bus that his blush wasn’t _too_ terribly visible.

“Oh. Ok.”

Even though he knew he’d probably regret asking, Rin couldn’t help himself. “Why do you wanna know?”

“No reason,” Iwashima said. He shrugged and dropped back into his seat.

Rin raised an eyebrow at that, but decided to just let it go.

“…Rin,” said someone to his left. He started and looked down at Haru, who’d slid practically all the way down in his seat while he was asleep. Now his eyes were open and he was staring up at Rin, his arm pillowed under his head.

“Geez. How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough.”

“Well, we’re not there yet, so go back to sleep,” Rin told him, leaning back in his own seat and throwing an arm over his eyes.

“Rin,” Haru said again.

“Hm?”

“You don’t have to talk to him, you know.”

“Who?”

“Iwashima. You don’t always have to answer him. It’s none of his business.”

Rin just blinked at him, not quite sure what he was getting at.

“You got a problem, Nanase?” Iwashima had twisted around to face them again.

“Yeah, I do,” Haru said coldly. “Quit picking on Rin.”

Rin’s eyebrows shot up.

Wow. As embarrassing as it was to have his childhood friend defending him against a bully, he couldn’t help but feel rather touched by Haru’s uncharacteristic display of protectiveness. Especially since they weren’t on great terms at the moment. It was kinda heartwarming, really…

Iwashima shook his head. “No way. It’s fun. Gimme one good reason.”

“He's  _sensitive.”_

…Never mind. That _ass_.

Luckily, the bus pulled up in front of the hotel at that very moment, or else Rin very well might have committed a double murder.

 _Why_ did people always have to give him a hard time about that? It wasn’t like he could help it. And he didn’t even do it that often! At least not in public...

Unsurprisingly, Iwashima was completely delighted with this piece of information and spent the rest of the weekend making sly inquiries as to the state of Rin’s emotional health, as though he might burst into tears at any moment...

...Which would have been a lot less annoying if that hadn’t actually been a very real possibility. He was always more sensitive during competitions— _Vulnerable_ was probably a better word for it. His coach in middle school had said it was a hormone thing.

The only bright side to the entire incident was that Haru appeared to have forgiven him for whatever he’d been mad about the other day. He’d gotten his revenge, and Rin wouldn’t begrudge it to him. He did, however, make a mental note to never get on his bad side like that ever again. He just couldn’t afford it; Haru had too much ammunition.

* * *

 

The competition actually ended up going pretty well, all things considered. Rin had come in first in the 200m butterfly race, and even though he came in second in his other two races, his times had still been good enough to qualify him for the next round.

Haru had beaten him in the 100m freestyle, but he had kind of been expecting that, so he wasn’t too torn up about it. In fact, Rin couldn’t have been happier for him. He’d won all three of his races, after all. It was impressive. Of course, Rin vowed he’d beat him next time, just like he always did. And Haru said something flippant back, just like he always did. It was a routine they both enjoyed. And Rin was a stickler for routine.

Overall, he was pleased with his performance that weekend. He could stand to do better, though. That fact would never change, no matter how well he did. 

That’s what he kept telling himself the entire way home on Monday morning, once the high had worn off. He was tired, but all he could think about was hopping off the plane as soon as it landed and dashing to the pool so he could resume training. Their next meet was in a few weeks—in Tokyo this time, thankfully—and there wasn’t a whole lot of time to prepare. And then there was that competition in France at the beginning of August, and then nationals, and after that it was straight to the qualifiers for the Pan Pacific Games, and after that—well, that just didn’t bear thinking about. He wasn’t there yet. Not by a longshot.

By the time Rin stepped off the plane, his stomach was in knots and his head was pounding—not in an airsickness way, but in an uncomfortable, can’t-get-the-thoughts-to-stop-circulating way. How annoying. He’d been trying to hype himself up, not freak himself out. Even Haru, who generally ignored that sort of thing, felt the need to comment on how terrible Rin looked as they boarded the train that would take them back to campus. And even though Rin couldn’t see himself, he was inclined to agree. He _felt_ pretty terrible all of a sudden.

And that just wasn’t fair. He’d done well. There was no denying it. But at the same time…there was always room for improvement That was what it always circled back to. It was just how Rin was wired.

Haru probably wouldn’t understand. He never needed to worry about things like that. Not when it came to swimming. And Rin wasn’t going to burden him with his own insecurities. Experience told him that it was better if he just kept those things to himself.

It was early afternoon when they arrived back on campus. Members of the team were expected to attend whatever classes they might have left for the day, but like most his teammates, Rin ignored the faculty advisor’s gentle reminder and headed home with no such intentions. A new training menu was already forming in his head. He’d grab something to eat quickly, and then it was off to the pool. Just for a little while. A little while wouldn’t hurt.

“I’m home,” he called out wearily as he stepped into the apartment. The words lingered awkwardly in the air, and Rin scowled at himself. Honestly, who the hell did he think was gonna be there to greet him? Certainly not _Rei_. Of course he wouldn’t. Rei was in class. Because Rei was a hard worker.

Well. Rei wasn’t the only one. Just as soon as he ate something, Rin would be off and working hard himself.

He threw his luggage into his room and went into the kitchen, yawning as he did so. There a small stack of envelopes and a magazine sitting on the table with a small post-it-note on top, indicating that it was _Rin-san’s Mail._

Rin gathered it up, grabbed an energy bar from the cupboard, and went into the living room.

Apart from his _Swimming World_ magazine, he hadn’t really gotten anything interesting. It was mostly junk mail. Maybe he’d ask Rei to filter it for him next time. Though it wasn’t like he’d been expecting anything else. The only people who ever wrote to him were Russell and Lori, and he hadn’t gotten around to giving them his new address yet. And then there was Sousuke, who’d always had a weird fondness for letter-writing, ever since they were kids. And he called _Rin_ a romantic.

They’d exchanged a lot of letters at the beginning of their first year of college, but those had kind of tapered out as the months passed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d written to Sousuke. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d talked to Sousuke period. There had been one or two phone calls in the spring, right around the time Rin was moving into his new place—both of which consisted almost entirely of him bitching about his life while Sousuke listened—but nothing since then. Whose fault was that?

 _Probably mine_ , he thought, munching unhappily on his energy bar. _It usually is_.

He slumped further down on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. A letter would take too long. What he really ought to do was pick up the phone and call him. Catch up. Tell him about the competition…but that probably wasn’t something he’d want to hear about. Especially not out of the blue like this. It’d probably sound like the only reason Rin was calling him was to brag.

Maybe he _should_ write a letter. He owed Sousuke that much. There was less pressure that way, too.  They could get used to talking regularly again, in one capacity or another. He’d have to buy some stationary, though. Or maybe he could just steal some of Rei’s…

God, this was gonna be a lot of work. He really wished Sousuke would pull himself out of the dark ages and use email like the rest of the world. Did he even have an email address? He would have to for school, right? He should ask for it in his letter. Which he should really get to writing. Before he went swimming. No—after he went swimming. No, no. Before. Definitely before. He’d be way too tired after, or worse, he’d probably _forget_ and—

Great. Now his head was pounding again.

Gritting his teeth, Rin got up from the couch, went into his room, and came back with a pen and notebook. He’d have to draft this thing out. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long.

 _Dear Sousuke_ , he wrote, rolling his eyes and trying to act like he didn’t feel like a complete idiot. It was a standard greeting. He had nothing to be embarrassed about.

He then spent ten minutes making up excuses and apologizing for not being in contact much over the last several months. It was all very roundabout and awkward and not entirely truthful, but it was an easy way to fill a paragraph. That was something.

The next paragraph, unfortunately, didn’t come quite as easily.

            _So, how’s—_

How’s…school? No, that would just make him sound like a parent.

How's Kisumi? No, wait. Kisumi didn’t go to Sousuke’s school anymore. He went to Rin’s. Shoot.

How’s…your shoulder?

…No. On second thought, maybe _How’s school_ was the way to go.

Rin toiled away like that for another half hour before his fatigue set in and he ended up dozing off. The next time he opened his eyes, the sun had already begun to set. A few dying rays were streaming in through the windows and the living room furniture cast elongated shadows on the carpet. Rin blinked a few times and sat up, which sent his notebook sliding off his chest and onto the floor. He ignored it and glanced at his watch.

“Dammit!”

It was almost six. He’d slept for nearly _four_ hours.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered, rolling off the couch. How could he have let this happen? He never took naps during the day. His sleeping pattern was already irregular at best, and Rin had to be careful not to do anything that might knock it further out of equilibrium. Now he probably wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep at all tonight. And what was more, he hadn't even made a dent in his letter!

_Forget the letter—I was supposed to swim!_

Rin picked himself up off the floor, groaning when several of his joints cracked. Gross. Weren’t people supposed to feel refreshed after napping? He didn’t feel refreshed at all. If anything, he felt like he’d just been put through a cement mixer. He wanted to brush his teeth and take a shower, and he actually still felt pretty tired, so maybe he’d just crawl into bed after that and officially call it a day wasted.

No. He couldn’t do that. He still had to go to the pool. He had _promised_  himself he would. This wasn’t a big deal; there was still plenty of time. He wouldn't stay too long. Plus, it would probably make him feel better.

With that decided, Rin grabbed his keys from where he’d tossed them onto the kitchen table earlier and was halfway to the door when the sound of a key being inserted into the lock stopped him in his tracks. It was already open, of course, since Rin hadn’t bothered to lock it when he came in, and soon enough, the door swung open, revealing a slightly confused looking Rei.

“…Oh. Hello,” Rei said after they spent a few seconds staring at each other. Luckily, Rin’s previously racing thoughts had slowed down enough by then for him to return the greeting.

“Hey.”

Rei hesitated for a moment and then stepped further into the room, forcing Rin to take a step back. He pulled the door shut behind him. “I—sorry—I wasn’t expecting you to be home.”

“I could say the same about you,” Rin replied a little defensively.

Rei raised his eybrows. “Are you sure about that? I’m usually back around this time on Mondays. It’s one of my less busy days.”

Rin opened his mouth to snap something about how _of course_ he was sure, but then he stopped and thought about it and realized he actually wasn't. As it happened, Mondays were  _his_ busy day. He usually went straight from class to the pool and didn’t get back until after practice. In fact, this was probably the first time he’d been home before 10:30 on a Monday since school had started.

“Are you alright?” Rei asked when Rin failed to say anything for nearly thirty seconds. “You seem a little…” He trailed off, tilting his head to the side and gazing at Rin with some concern.

Rin squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He was kind of out of it from the accidental nap, and his plan to go to the pool was still ricocheting around inside his skull like a pinball.

“I’m fine,” he said, rubbing at his temples. “I guess you’re right; I’m the one who’s off here. Schedule-wise, I mean. Sorry.”

 “It’s nothing to apologize for,” Rei said with a smile. “Actually, it’s a rather pleasant turn of events, isn’t it? We don’t often see each other during the week.”

Ugh. He really hated it when Rei said things like that, especially when he sounded so genuinely  _happy_. It made it very hard for Rin to control his facial muscles, and he almost always ended up smiling back. Right now was no exception, even though he really wasn’t in a particularly smiley mood.

Rei’s expression, if it were even possible, brightened even more, and he asked, “Did your flight just get in?”

Rin shook his head. “Nah, I got back pretty early this afternoon.”

“Didn’t you have classes you could have gone to?”

“I skipped,” Rin said, forcing his shoulders to shrug with some effort. “But it’s fine. I could afford it just this once.”

He expected Rei to immediately break into a lecture— _it was a slippery slope, did Rin know how irresponsible he was being, had he no regard for where his tuition money was going, blah, blah, blah..._

But much to his surprise, Rei just nodded. “That must be nice." For brief moment, he almost looked wistful. “Well, in any case,” he continued hastily, “Welcome back.”

“Yeah,” Rin said, relaxing just a little bit. “Thanks.”

They stood there for a moment, smiling shyly at each other. It wasn’t awkward, per say, but there was a little something there between them that neither really wanted to address. It probably had a lot to do with that last, slightly messy late-night text Rei had sent to him. As much as he’d appreciated both the encouragement and the implicit apology for how they’d parted ways that morning, Rin had never actually gotten around to replying. Should he say something about it? Or would that be weird? 

Rin opened his mouth—

“Were you going somewhere?” Rei asked suddenly, moving away from the door. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get in your way.”

Rin tensed up again almost immediately.

The pool. Right. He was about to go to the pool. At least, that had been the plan...

He made a split-second decision.

“I—No, I wasn’t going anywhere.”

As soon as he said it, he felt some of the tension drain out of his neck and shoulders, which sort of pissed him off, to be honest. It wasn’t like he’d been dreading going to the pool. He just...didn't feel like it anymore.

“Oh,” Rei said. “That’s good. I thought for a moment that you might have to go to practice, but of course you wouldn’t have it today. You just got back from a competition, after all. You’re supposed to be resting. I should have known better.”

“Uh, right.” Rin brought a hand up to the back of his neck and looked down at the floor. Rei, apparently unaware of his discomfort, nodded happily and moved past him to deposit his backpack on a chair in the kitchen, giving Rin time to wipe the stricken expression off his face.

When Rei returned to the living room, he was casually arranged on the couch, looking every bit the carefree truant he’d made himself out to be. “So,” he said, “Dinner? I don’t have to rush off to practice tonight, so I guess we could cook something.”

Rei, who hadn’t sat down on the couch, even though Rin had left space for him, raised an eyebrow. “We _could_ ,” he said, “if we had any food here.”

“Huh?”

“Didn’t you notice the kitchen was empty?”

“ _No,_ " Rin snapped. "Geez, Rei, would it have killed you to do a little shopping before I got back? Don’t tell me you didn’t have the time?"

“I _didn’t_ , as a matter of fact,” Rei snapped back. He crossed his arms over his chest and loomed menacingly over the couch. “And honestly, Rin-san, you’ve been here all day. You could have gone shopping yourself.”

“I…yeah, you’re right,” Rin sighed. Apparently he just didn’t have it in him to argue today. “Sorry. I was tired when I got back. I actually ended up sleeping most of the day. I guess that's not really a good excuse, huh? I’ll go right now.”

He stood up, but Rei shook his head, his expression softening. “No, it’s alright,” he said. “You’ve worked hard, so you deserve to relax. I don’t mind going.”

“Seriously? Thanks!” Rin fell back down on the couch as Rei went to retrieve his wallet from his backpack.

“Any requests?” Rei asked him before he left, and Rin looked up from the TV show he’d just turned on long enough to rattle off a few items and remind Rei to bring the receipt so he could pay him back.

 _That was surprising_ , he thought after Rei shut the door. It wasn’t like he’d had been trying to garner sympathy. He wasn’t about to complain, though.

Rei returned nearly an hour later, laden down with groceries. Rin, who was actually beginning to feel a little guilty despite his earlier relief, was quick to offer to unpack them and cook dinner. Rei tried to protest, of course, but Rin wasn’t having it.

“It’s the least I can do,” he said, herding Rei into his room. “Go do your homework. You know you’re _dying_ to.”

Rei frowned at that, but finally conceded and sat down at his desk.

Rin got started unpacking the groceries, and was pleased to discover that despite not having written any of it down, Rei had remembered everything he’d asked for. More than that, actually; he’d gone a bit overboard.

“That’s a hell of a lot of razors you got me, Rei,” he called, staring incredulously at the four different boxes.

Rei poked his head out the door. “You didn’t tell me what brand you wanted, so I got a variety.”

“Oh. Well, I guess that’s ok.” Rin picked one of the boxes to show Rei. “It’s these, for future reference. But don’t worry about it. I’ll find something to do with the rest…Maybe we should start a stockpile of common items that can also serve as weapons. You know, just in case. We should buy some toothpicks, too.”

“Or you could just keep them on hand for when you run out,” Rei said, looking amused.

Rin shrugged and resumed unpacking. That probably wasn’t going to happen. He had very sensitive skin, and the one brand he was already using did the job just fine.

“Rin-san, what exactly do you—” Rei began before cutting himself off.

“What exactly do I what?” asked Rin as he bent down to retrieve a knife and cutting board from one of the cupboards under the counter.

“Oh, nothing. I was going to ask what you needed the razors for, since you probably couldn’t grow a beard if your life depended on it. But I just remembered you shave your legs for swimming. So never mind.”

Rin flipped him off, but Rei just laughed and leaned against the doorframe, watching as Rin bustled around the kitchen

“Does that really work?” he asked curiously, and it took Rin, who was now concentrating on cutting up the meat, a second to figure out what he was talking about.

“The shaving? Yeah, I guess. It does help reduce drag a bit. Ever tried it?”

“I did, once,” Rei said. “Nagisa-kun forced it on me. It wasn’t a very pleasant experience. I think it actually made slower.”

“I think that was probably just you, Rei," Rin laughed. Rei made an affronted noise and crossed his arms. "Anyway, a lot of swimmers I know only do it before competitions, kind of like a ritual. Doesn’t make a huge difference, but you never know. It’s more mental than anything else.”

Rei nodded thoughtfully and didn’t say anything else. He still didn’t go back inside his room, either.

Rin didn’t really notice, preoccupied as he was with his task. Cooking really was nice every once in a while. Therapeutic. Rin particularly enjoyed chopping things. Gou had once told him that was because he had a lot of latent anger inside him, but he wasn’t so sure about that. Although, given the fact that he was currently pretending every piece of beef he hacked into was either Iwashima or the guy who’d cut in front of him in the bathroom line at the airport earlier, maybe she actually had a point.

He was about to pile it all in the pan he’d set out on the stove when Rei suddenly said, “Wait a second, Rin-san. You’re not going to season it before you cook it?”

Rin, who had forgotten he was still there, looked up at him in surprise. “No, I’m gonna season it while it’s in the pan.”

Rei raised his eyebrow doubtfully. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Uh, _yeah_. Chill, I’ve got it covered.”

Rei wasn't reassured. For the next five minutes, he continued watching and made a noise ever time Rin was about to do something he didn’t agree with. And just when Rei looked like he might actually lunge across the room and physically remove the salt shaker from his possession, Rin finally snapped, “Oh, my God, would you please get _out_ of here? Go do your homework! You’re just using me as a distraction.”

“No, I’m not! I’m simply observing your technique and—”

“Well _you’re_ distracting _me_ , then. Go away. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

Rei reluctantly did as he was told, giving Rin an injured look as closed his door behind him.

He was able to work much faster after that, and ended up calling Rei back not even twenty minutes after banishing him.

They were both a lot nicer to each other once they began eating.

 Rin told Rei about the competition—and nearly choked in his haste to change the subject once Rei started congratulating him on his win—and Rei elaborated a bit more on his conversation with the landlady, which really hadn’t been all that helpful in the end. It seemed as they were saddled with hole for the foreseeable future.

“That was quite satisfactory, Rin-san,” Rei said as they were washing the dishes afterwards. “Although, may I suggest that next time you use a little less salt on…pretty much everything?  And maybe a lower heat setting for the vegetables.”

“Or maybe I’ll just never cook for you ever again,” Rin growled, shoving the plate he was drying at Rei’s chest. “Here. Just for that, you get to finish these yourself.”

Rei rolled his eyes, but didn’t complain, and Rin left in a huff to go read his magazine on the couch.

A little while later, he looked up from _Swimming_ _World_ to find Rei standing in front of him.

"Rin-san,” he began rather timidly, “I was wondering…”

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind… looking over my English essay?”

Rin blinked up at him in surprise. That was the last thing he’d been expecting. Rei had never asked him for help with schoolwork before. It was a bizarre thing to get excited about, but Rin couldn’t help it—he was totally flattered.

“Yeah, sure.”           

“Not that you have to, of course! I completely understand if you don’t want to! I know you’re tired and it’s probably a pain, and I really shouldn’t have asked in the first place! Also I—Sorry, what was that?”

“Sure,” Rin repeated with some amusement. “Hand it over.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Geez, it’s not a big deal. Besides, if I remember correctly, English isn’t really your strong suit. You probably need all the help you can get.”

Maybe that was a little uncharitable. Rei wasn’t stellar at pronunciation, it was true, but as far as Rin knew, he was fine with everything else.

Rei didn’t bother to correct him, however. He just sighed in relief and held out his essay. “I’m very grateful,” he said, and he truly looked it. He went into his room after that, leaving Rin to look over his work.

It turned out to be something to do with cellular chemistry. Rin was confused for second, but then he recalled that Rei once told him he was in an integrative studies class for science students that was supposed to help them with international research. He’d explained that scientists that are proficient in English are more marketable or something.

It wasn’t an easy class, judging by Rei’s essay. Rin could barely follow along, and _not_ because it was poorly written. Eventually, he called Rei back out to the living room.

“Have you finished?” Rei asked nervously.

Rin nodded and moved over to make room for him on the couch. “Yup. Come sit here.”

Rei hesitated. “Do I have to? Is it really going to take that long?”

“Not too long. There’re just a few things we should go over.”

“Fine…but could we do it at the kitchen table instead?”

It dawned on Rin what this was about and he rolled his eyes. “You really need to get over your aversion to the couch,” he told Rei. “I swear it’s safe! I’ve been using it for two months and I’m completely fine. As far as I know.”

Rei grimaced, but sat down nevertheless, carefully positioning himself on the very edge of the cushion. He gave Rin a disgruntled look and crossed his arms. Then his eyes landed on the notebook sitting on the coffee table in front of them, which was still open to Rin’s unfinished letter.

It was Rin’s turn to grimace.

“Ignore that,” he said, and Rei started, looking slightly guilty for having been caught looking.

 “Anyway, if the couch really bothers you _that_ _much_ ,” Rin continued with an exaggerated sigh, “then I guess we could buy a new one.”

“I don’t think so.” Rei shook his head, allowing his attention to be diverted. “That would be a waste. Maybe I’ll just reupholster this one.”

“Rei, do you even know how to reupholster furniture?”

Rei's face lit up. “I do, actually! I read a book about it once.”

“…Of course you did,” Rin said, a fond smile threatening to form across his face. He should have known. For some reason, he was struck with the image of an elementary school-aged Rei delightedly poring over how-to manuals for things like cake decorating and topiary design. He almost started laughing and hastily looked down at Rei’s paper to distract himself. “Alright, now, listen up…”

It was actually a very well written essay, he went on to assure Rei. But there _were_ a few grammar and usage mistakes littered throughout that Rin wanted to address. He didn’t expect it to take long at all. But as it turned out, Rin got way more into it than either of them had anticipated. English was his best subject after all. He was a regular fount of knowledge, and it didn’t really help that Rei was a very avid listener.

An hour later, they were still in the exact same positions on the couch, and Rin was only just beginning to wind down.

“…and adverbs kind of suck because they can either come before or after whatever they’re modifying, and most of the time you don’t even need them. I mean, they’re definitely helpful if you need to pad your word count, but you run the risk of losing coherency if you use too many—and I’m not saying you did, but just be sure to keep that in mind. Now, be honest—how’s your grasp of syntactical versus semantic subject?”

“…”

When Rei didn’t answer, Rin looked up from the sentence diagram he’d drawn in his notebook and glanced over at him. And what he saw shocked him beyond all reasonable thought.

Rei was asleep.

There he was, with the side of his face all smooshed against the back of the couch and his glasses askew. His mouth was even open and he was snoring—albeit softly—but _snoring_ nonetheless.

Rin waved a hand in front of his face. “…Rei?”

No response.

“Rei-chaaaan?” he called a little louder in what he considered to be a pretty spot-on impression of Nagisa. But that didn’t work either.

Rin was annoyed, to say the least. How could Rei have fallen asleep in the middle of his lecture? Rin was a _fantastic_ teacher, there was no way Rei could have been bored. Besides, it was only 10:30. He was going to wake up that ungrateful jerk and force him to see it through to the end. They still had two more pages of edits.

But then, unbidden, a memory suddenly floated through Rin’s mind of that time more than a week ago when he had watched through the hole in their wall as Rei sat at his desk doing homework at 3 in the morning.

Abruptly, he withdrew the hand he’d been about to shake Rei’s shoulder with.

What the hell was he doing?  If Rei was tired enough to just nod off like that, then clearly he _needed_ to sleep. Rin was disgusted with himself for even considering waking him up.

What he did instead was push Rei further down onto the couch, being extra careful not to jar him too much. Then he stood up, went into Rei’s room, and returned with a blanket, which he threw on top of him. He gathered up his notebook and magazine, turned out all the lights, and went into his own room.

He had no idea whether or not Rei would appreciate any of that. He hoped so. Though, at the same time, Rin wondered if maybe he wasn’t being a little hypocritical…

 _No_ , he decided eventually as he brushed his teeth and got ready for a night of lying in bed and not sleeping, thanks to that damn nap earlier. _No_ ,  _our situations are completely different._

Rin accidentally falling asleep on that God forsaken couch was not the same as _Rei_ accidentally falling asleep on it. Just like Rin wanting to go to the pool for an hour on what was technically supposed to be a rest day was in no way the same as Rei staying up until dawn every day doing homework...

 

He never did manage to fall asleep that night. Luckily, he had a lot to think about, so at least he wasn’t bored. And he actually felt much better the next morning, despite the all-nighter. He’d been wiped out yesterday. He realized that now. The competition, combined with the air travel, had just messed with head. It was a good thing he’d never actually made it to the pool yesterday. He probably would have ended up regretting it.

All in all, Rin’s outlook was much more positive today.  _Rei_ , on the other hand…He did wonder about Rei. 

He didn’t see him that morning, so he had no idea whether or not the guy had ever made it to his bed last night. It would probably be good idea for them to have a talk, though, so Rin decided to wait around for him when he got back from swim practice that night.

Rei walked through the door nearly an hour after Rin did. He didn’t appear any worse for the wear.

“Where’ve you been?” Rin asked turning off the TV and fixing his full attention on Rei.

“The library,” Rei said with a shrug, which couldn’t have been easy; his backpack looked like it weighed at least sixty pounds.

“Ah. Should’ve guessed.” 

He’d meant for it sound lighthearted, but Rei didn’t seem to take it that way. He gave Rin a subdued nod and headed toward his bedroom. But before he got there, he paused. “Rin-san, about last night…”

Rin perked up immediately. Was this it? Was Rei actually about to open up to him? He certainly hoped so. He didn’t want to come right out and ask, but he was extremely curious as to what Rei’s daily schedule actually consisted of. He was starting to get the impression that it might be a little too packed for Rei’s own good.

"I want to apologize.”

“...Huh?”

“I caused you trouble after you were kind of enough to help me out.” Rei looked away. “I’m very sorry about that.”

“What are you talking about? You didn’t cause me—”

“Anyway, good night.”

Rin was stunned, but before he could say anything, Rei gave a quick bow and hurried off into his room, shutting the door behind him.

The other day must have been a fluke, Rin eventually decided.  It was true that it was very unlike Rei to just fall asleep like that, especially while he was doing his homework, and to Rin, it had seemed indicative of a larger issue of Rei not taking proper care of himself. But he'd probably just read too much into it. Rei was the most responsible person Rin knew, but he was still _human_. He was allowed to have an off day every once in a while. And he certainly didn’t need Rin—arguably the _king_  of off days—getting on his case about it.

And for a while, it really seemed like that’s all it had been—an off day. For the rest of the week, Rei was his normal nerd-self; still weighed down with what seemed like more school work than reasonable, but alert and cheerful nonetheless. He even got himself up at 5 a.m. on Friday to go running with Rin, just like he always did. Rin was a little surprised to see him initially. He’d have thought Rei might choose to skip out on the run today and get a little more sleep instead. Though he realized now that he'd been silly to think that. Rei had given no indication that he had changed his routine in the slightest, despite the incident on Monday night...Which he still didn’t seem inclined to talk about, judging by the way he’d hastily changed the subject when Rin (half-jokingly) asked him if he was sure he wasn’t going to fall asleep on the track.

Well, whatever. It wasn’t Rin’s business.

* * *

On Sunday evening, the two of them left the apartment together to walk to Haru’s place. It was the night of that Fine Arts thing Haru had given him a flyer for the week before, and which Rin had completely forgotten about until Rei started banging on his door ten minutes before six, yelling at him to get ready to go.

“I thought we established that he didn’t want me come,” Rin protested half-heartedly as he threw on the shirt Rei had impatiently picked out for him after he’d dawdled in front of his closet for too long.

Rei rolled his eyes and turned his back to give Rin some privacy while he changed. “No, we established that he _did_ want you to come and you were just too dense to realize it.”

Rin quit complaining after that, but he was still a little surprised at how adamant Rei was. He didn’t mind going, of course, but he wasn’t sure it would actually mean all that much to Haru. He hadn’t even mentioned it once since the other week.

Rin glanced at Rei as they walked.

“—usually too busy, so it’s the first time I’ve been able to go to a university event,” he was saying excitedly. “I’m really looking forward to it!”

“Right…” Rin said thoughtfully. “Normally you’d be at the library right about now.” And then—because he wasn’t really the type to leave well enough alone—he smirked and added, “It _is_ a school night, after all. Are you sure it’s alright for you to be out and about like this?”

Rei chose to ignore—or perhaps just didn’t pick up on—the fact that he was being facetious.

“Hmm. I think it should be fine as long as I don’t stay out too late…What?” Rin was giving him a pitying look.

“Nothing.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes, and as they approached Haru’s building, Rin suddenly remembered something.

“Oh, yeah. This is the first time I’ve been to Haru’s new place.”

“Really?”

Rin nodded, studying the front of the building. It was in much better condition than theirs was. There were potted plants beneath the windowsills and the brick walls weren’t all washed out. As they climbed the stairs to Haru’s apartment on the fifth floor, he was able to glimpse inside the windows they passed. From what he could see, the insides were just as nice as the outside. It was hard to believe there were college students living here.

“What’s with this place?” he muttered

Rei slowed his ascent slightly and glanced back at him. He seemed to instinctively know what Rin was talking about. “Hiroto Takigawa’s parents own this building and several others,” he said. Rin thought for a second and remembered that Takigawa was the one who’d invited Haru to live him. “They’re a very wealthy family from what I understand. I believe Haruka-senpai and the others are only paying for utilities.”

“You’re kidding,” Rin laughed. “Man, no wonder he ditched me! That’s almost enough to make me forgive him.”

A strange look passed over Rei’s face, so briefly that Rin thought he must have imagined it because the very next moment he was smiling and saying, “Yes, he’s quite lucky, isn’t he?”

When they reached the correct apartment, Rei knocked on the door and a few moments later they were greeted by a surprisingly well-dressed Haru.

“Hey,” he said, beckoning them in and closing the door. “Thanks for coming, Rei.”

Rin cleared his throat as they followed him through the spacious hallway and Haru glanced back at him. “Oh, sorry, Rin. I didn’t see you. What are you doing here?”

“'Scuse me?” Rin elbowed Rei and gave him a _what-did-I-tell-you?_ look _._ Rei rolled his eyes.

“I just didn’t think you were interested in this kind of thing,” Haru said coolly. He turned a corner and led them into a large living room. The place really was ridiculously nice, Rin thought, eying the skylights and open floor plan. The kitchen, from what he could see of it, was full of stainless steel appliances. “You do know we’re not going swimming, right?”

That was rich, coming from Haru. And a little annoying, actually.

“Shut up! I can appreciate fine art as much as the next person. Although, if _you’re_ involved, ‘fine’ is probably a loose term. What’s your painting of, by the way? A glass of water?”

Haru, who looked only mildly offended, opened his mouth to snap something back, but Rei jumped in before he could.

“Please don’t start, you two,” he said wearily. Then he turned to Haru. “Is Makoto-senpai on his way?”

Haru nodded and ushered them into his bedroom. “He should be here soon. Just sit where ever,” he added, taking a seat at his desk.

Rin lowered himself onto one of the floor pillows, looking around curiously. A door on the other side of the room was slightly ajar, revealing what was apparently Haru’s personal bathroom. Lucky him. It must have been nice having rich friends.

The room was relatively neat, which was usual for Haru, but Rin did notice that there were art supplies scattered on almost every available surface. Even the bedside table, which was barely even wide enough for Haru’s lamp, had a sketchbook and box of colored pencils sitting precariously on top of it.

Had Haru always kept things like this? He hadn’t, right? _At least, not last year, when we were sharing a room_ , Rin thought, bringing one of the hands he’d been bracing on the rug up to scratch his head. He grimaced when he caught a glimpse of his palm. It had only been on the floor for about ten seconds, but that had been enough time for it to pick up everything from pencil shavings and tiny pieces of lead to what looked part of a crushed crayon.

 _No, things definitely weren’t like this last year_ , he thought, wiping his hand somewhat bemusedly on his leg. _I_ _wouldn’t have allowed it_.

It was by far too messy for his standards.

While Rin was distracted with the state of the rug, Rei and Haru were chatting without him.

“I looked up that form you were talking about,” Haru was saying.

“What did you think?” Rei asked eagerly. “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

Haru nodded. “It was kind of stippling, only more deliberate, I think,” he said seriously, and Rin honestly had no idea what they were talking about.

“I tried it out the other day. Didn’t really get the hang of it, but you can look if you want.” Haru pointed to his bedside table.

Rei reached for the sketchbook and accidentally knocked something that had had been resting on top of it to the floor. He picked it up and regarded it with curiosity. “Haruka-senpai, what’s this?”

Rin shifted closer to Rei to get a better look. It turned out to be a small, plastic box with the words _Shiratora Dentistry_  printed on the top.

Oh. Rin knew what that was.

Haru looked up from his phone and glanced over at them. “Oh,” he said when he saw what they were looking at. “Night guard.”

Rei raised his eyebrows and popped the box open, ignoring Rin’s protest of “Gross, don’t look at it!”

Inside was another piece of plastic, clear this time, and molded in the shape of Haru’s top row of teeth.

Rei shut the box and put it back on the nightstand. “When did you start using that?” 

“A while ago,” Haru said, returning to whatever he’d been doing on his phone. He didn’t appear too keen to talk about it, but Rei still seemed interested, if the way he kept glancing at the box was any indication.

“Middle of last year,” Rin said, taking pity on him. “He started grinding his teeth at night. It was pretty annoying, actually; I could hear it from my bed. And I think he was also clenching his jaw a lot during day, right?” He glanced at Haru, who nodded. “Anyway, it got so bad that one morning he woke and could barely open his mouth, his jaw was so sore.” He paused, remembering how awful that day had been. It was one of the few times he’d ever seen Haru genuinely freaked out. Not that he blamed him. He almost couldn’t open up wide enough to eat.

“So I took him the clinic,” Rin recalled, “and they made him go to the dentist. And that’s how he ended up with _that_ thing.” He pointed to the night guard. 

“I see.” Rei looked a little concerned. “Do you know what caused it?” he asked Haru, who shrugged and finally looked up from his phone.

“Dentist said stress or something.”

“What could have stressed you out that much, though?”

Haru hesitated, glancing at Rin for some reason. Right then, the doorbell rang, and instead of answering Rei, he let out a breath and stood up. “That’s probably Makoto."

“Nanase, your friend’s here!” someone called, probably one his roommates who hadn’t been out in the open when Rin and Rei had arrived. A few seconds later the door swung open. But it wasn’t Makoto on the other side.

“Did you hear that?” Kisumi exclaimed, propelling himself off the threshold and into the room. “He totally just called me your friend!”

Haru stepped neatly out of the way as he attempted to throw and arm over his shoulders, which nearly sent him sprawling as all the weight he’d been about to place on Haru worked against him.

“What are you doing here?” Haru asked in a tone that suggested bone deep exhaustion as Kisumi steadied himself and waved at Rin and Rei.

“Huh? Didn’t you invite me? This is why you couldn’t see a movie with me, right? This Fine Arts Night thing? That’s what you said last week.”

“Yeah, but at no point did I tell you to _come along.”_

“See?” Rin muttered to Rei. “I think _you’re_ the only one he actually wanted here.”

“Oh,” Kisumi said thoughtfully, rocking back on his heels. Apparently that wasn’t enough to deter him, though. A few seconds later, he was grinning and punching Haru in the shoulder. “Wow, this must be an awesome surprise for you, then!”

Haru rolled his eyes and sank back down into his desk chair with a malcontented sigh.

“So, are we ready to go?” Kisumi asked, his words a little at odds with his actions as he threw himself onto Haru’s bed. “We should try to get there early. Don’t they say that art loses quality if it’s seen by too many people? I wanna make sure I get a look at Haru’s painting before all the energy gets sucked out of it.”

“…We’re waiting for Makoto,” came Haru’s stilted reply.

“ _Makoto’s_ coming, too?!” Kisumi sat straight up, his eyes wide with delight. “Oh my God, this is _so_ much better than my movie idea! Thanks for inviting me!”

Fortunately for Kisumi, who had to have known he was treading on thin ice, the doorbell rang again, and this time it really was Makoto.

 

It was crowded by the time they got to the municipal building where the event was being held. People were milling about the lobby, taking in the art on display, and circulating in and out of an auditorium where various performances were showing.

 _"So_ ,” Kisumi said as they all hovered near the entrance. He took Haru’s arm and shook him a bit. “This is exciting. Where’s your painting? I bet it’s behind a curtain, right? Aren’t you like the MVP tonight?”

Haru looked incredibly uncomfortable, and Rin smirked at him. “Yeah, show us, Haru. Don't be shy.”

“Find it yourself," Haru said, removing his arm from Kisumi’s grasp. “I don’t wanna be there when you see it.

Kisumi shrugged. “Ok. I guess we’ll just start with the nearest wall and work our way around…Or maybe I’ll just _ask_ someone where the prodigious Haruka Nanase’s work is being displayed!” His voice had gotten progressively louder, and Haru actually flushed slightly and looked around to make sure no one had heard him.

“ _Geez."_ He let out a defeated sigh and pointed toward the far side of the room. “It’s over there. And at least split up before you go. Don’t draw attention to it by looking all at once.”

“Haru, you really should try to get used to people seeing your stuff,” Makoto said.

“Fine,” Kisumi sighed, but he brightened immediately and put a hand on Rei’s shoulder. “Let’s go two-by-two, then. Come on, Rei!” And before Rin could do anything, Rei was being dragged inexorably toward the back of the room. 

With one last shake of his head, Haru muttered something about finding his teacher and took off as well, leaving Rin and Makoto alone by the entrance.

“Did you see that?” Rin asked after he watched Haru disappear into the crowd. He turned eagerly to Makoto. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was actually _nervous_.”

Makoto laughed. “He’s just not a fan of all the attention. Actually, he’s gotten a lot better recently. Last time he had something up for display, he ended up hiding in the bathroom for most of the night because people kept coming up to him to give him compliments. But I think he’s starting to get used to it now.”

Rin was rather surprised. He’d been to a few Haru’s showcases last year and he had seemed perfectly normal. Though, now that he thought about it, those had just been end-of-the-semester celebrations for students and faculty—people Haru was used to, and who were already familiar with this work. This, on the other hand, as well as that alumni gala—which he assumed was this “last time” Makoto had referred to—were open a much broader audience.

Still, to think that something like this could get Haru all worked up while  winning a swim competition barely made him bat an eye…

“Oh, by the way, Rin,” Makoto said, pulling him out of his thoughts, “Congratulations on winning your race last week. Haru told me about it.”

“Oh. Yeah, thanks a lot,” Rin said. His smile turned a little sour around the edges. “Did he also tell you he beat me in the one right after?”

Makoto shook his head. “No. Is that what happened? Which race was it?”

“100 free.”

“Oh. Well he told me he won that one, but he didn’t say it was against you. I’m assuming you got second?”

“Yeah," Rin said. He looked down at the floor, feeling a little foolish. Why had he felt the need to bring that up?

“What?” Makoto asked when Rin remained silent. 

“Well...” He hesitated. “...It’s a little insulting that he didn’t even bother to _mention_ me.”

“Haru probably just didn’t think it was an important detail. All he ever tells me is who won what. We never talk about who lost.”

Rin nodded and Makoto tilted his head a bit to get a better look at his face. “Does it…bother you that you lost?” 

Rin’s head snapped up and he stared at Makoto, wide-eyed. “N-no! Well…yeah, _sure_ , but, I mean...it was close! And he was amazing, so it’s not like he didn’t deserve it. Obviously I just have to work harder, and that’s fine with me, you know, I like having goals. I just—” He cut himself off, a trickle of embarrassment running down his spine. Here he was practically tripping over himself trying to convince Makoto of…something (he wasn’t quite sure _what_ exactly) and Makoto was just standing there with this unhelpful, understanding look in his eyes. God, he probably sounded so stupid.

“You know, Rin,” Makoto began, and there was nothing in his voice that suggested he thought he was being stupid at all. “You’re allowed to be disappointed. No one would ever blame you for that. I know it can be kind of…frustrating. It’s ok to—”

“I appreciate that, Makoto, but honestly, it’s fine. I’ll just get him next time. Nothin’ to it.”

But he wasn’t really thinking that. What he _was_ thinking was that he had trained almost ten extra hours the week before the competition, and it still hadn't been anywhere near enough.

But he pushed that away for now, giving Makoto a reassuring smile and steering the conversation away from himself. “So, how’s school going?”

Makoto smiled back and immediately dove into a description of his classes, for which Rin was extremely grateful. It never took much arm-twisting to get Makoto to let uncomfortable subjects drop.

 _Unlike Rei_ , Rin thought, for some reason remembering when Rei had caught him staying late at the pool a few weeks ago. He’d been a huge pain about it. Makoto, on the other hand, seemed perfectly happy to help Rin ignore his problems.

“I’ve actually been thinking,” he was saying now, “that maybe I’ll branch out a bit and also try to get a degree in early childhood education. I mean, I’m not sure what I’ll do with it yet, and I definitely want to get certified as a swimming instructor first, but it’s something I’m interested in.

“That’s great,” Rin told him honestly, and he was relieved that Makoto seemed genuinely excited about it.  Between Haru and Sousuke, and now Rei with that night-owl routine of his, Rin was in an almost constant state of worry over one friend or another. Makoto was a refreshing exception to that rule.

“Hey!” Kisumi and Rei were making their way toward them from the other side of the room. Kisumi was waving at them.

“You guys, Haru’s thing is really good,” he said once they were all back together again, and for once he actually sounded serious. “But there are a ton of people over there right now, so you might wanna wait ‘til it clears out a bit to go see it.”

“I agree,” Rei said. “It’s really something you should see up close. Oh, and Makoto-senpai, some people were asking where the artist is. You should probably…”

“I know, I know,” Makoto laughed. He pushed himself off the wall he’d been leaning on and looked around the room. “I’ll go find him. He has to claim responsibility sooner or later.” He left in the direction of the bathrooms.

“Let’s get something to drink,” Kisumi suggested, once again towing Rei by the sleeve. Rin followed behind, trying to ignore the slight indignation that had flared in his gut.

He was feeling a little third-wheeled, here. Plus, if anyone should have been dragging Rei around the place, it was _him_ , not Kisumi.

Rei didn’t seem to mind much, though, and it occurred to Rin that maybe the reason the two of them had it off so well was because Kisumi was a lot like Nagisa. At least in regards to enthusiasm levels and sense of personal space. Rei was just used to that sort of thing.

For some reason, that explanation made Rin feel a lot better.

There was a line at the refreshments table when they got there, so Rin said he wasn’t thirsty and decided to hang back and look at the pictures on the wall while the other two got their drinks. They didn’t find him again for what had to have been at least ten minutes.

“Here.” Rei handed him a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” Rin said, uncapping it. Maybe he had been a _little_ thirsty. “What took you guys? The line didn’t look that long.”

Kisumi grinned. “Well, it wasn’t really, but by the time we got to the front, all they had left was soda, so Rei insisted we find a vending a machine because apparently _Rin-san_ —" he jabbed a finger at Rin's chest "—doesn't drink that stuff!"

Rin blushed. “I, uh...That's true. Thanks."

Rei shrugged. “Soda is terribly unhealthy."

“Right…Um, anyway, these are really good,” Rin babbled, turning away from him and indicating the wall of photos. “Do you guys know any photography students?”

“Ryugazaki?” someone said before either of them could answer.

Rin turned around and saw a tall guy wearing a scarf and very large eyeglasses coming toward them. He looked sort of familiar

“Takigawa-san,” Rei said once he’d joined their small circle. “Hello.”

Oh, right. Takigawa. Haru’s roommate. Rin had met him briefly last year. Although, he was a little unrecognizable now. The last time Rin had seen him, he’d practically been covered from head to toe in charcoal dust.

“This is Rin Matsuoka and Kisumi Shigino,” Rei continued. Takigawa nodded at them, and Rin tried his best to smile pleasantly back, even though it was kind of annoying that the guy had apparently forgotten they'd already met.

“Are you friends of Nanase's?" he asked.

“Yes. Yes, I am,” Kisumi puffed out his chest importantly.

“Uh, yeah,” Rin said. _He seriously doesn’t remember me!_ “I’m Haru’s old roommate, actually.” He didn’t really know what he was expecting to get out of supplying that bit of information. Maybe something like ‘Oh, sorry I snatched him right out from under your nose’ or at the very least a ‘Yes, _now_ I remember you!’

He didn’t get either of those things.

“Interesting,” said Takigawa. “So, have you all seen Nanase’s piece yet? It’s quite something. Extraordinary, one might even say. When I asked him, he told me there was no meaning behind it, but I know that can’t be true. It’s obviously an allegory for the relationship between the manmade concept of time and the natural world. It’s almost melancholic in a way, wouldn’t you say? For nature, as Nanase clearly shows, is nothing if not ephemeral.”

“…Yes. Ephemeral as fuck,” Kisumi said after a moment, and Rin, who still hadn’t seen the painting and therefore couldn’t really vouch for it one way or the other, bit his lip to keep from laughing. Rei, who was staring at Takigawa with his head slightly tilted, looked like he was trying very hard to come up with an appropriate response.

Rin decided to save him the trouble. “Anyway," he said to Takigawa, "how is it living with Haru? Complete pain in the ass, right?”

“It’s kind of fascinating, actually. He does have some strange habits, doesn’t he? Though I guess that’s what you’d have to expect from someone of his creative intellect.”

“Strange habits?” Kisumi sounded intrigued.

“Well, it’s just the one habit, really. He takes baths twice a day. They usually last at least two hours.”

“That long, huh?” Rin mused, exchanging a look with Rei. “He’s clocking in a bit more than usual.”

“I don’t really mind it, since he has his own bathroom,” Takigawa continued with a shrug. “But it does seem excessive.”

“Don’t worry about it. He knows his limits,” Rin told him.

“Oh, I’m not worried. I did think it was bizarre at first, but I’ve come to realize that it must be part of his creative process. He must derive a lot of inspiration from soaking in the tub. Why else would he spend so much time in there?”

“…You sure you can’t think of one or two reasons?” Rin asked seriously.

Rei elbowed him in the ribs as Kisumi snorted into his drink. Rin’s lips twitched, but he managed to keep it together.

“Yes…well.” Takigawa obviously didn’t know what Rin was getting at, which only made Kisumi laugh harder. “I should probably get back to my friends, now. It was nice meeting you.” He took his leave after that, glancing back at them once or twice with a bemused expression on face.

“Oh, man!” Kisumi gasped, wiping his eye. “That guy was fun. Except now I really have to go to the bathroom. Be right back.” He headed off, still chuckling to himself.

“That was in very poor taste,” Rei said to Rin after he was gone. He sounded disapproving, but it looked like he was fighting back a smile.

“Please," Rin snickered. "Like it’s never crossed your mind before.”

“It hasn’t!” Rei insisted, and Rin could tell for sure now that he was trying not to laugh.

“It can’t take him that long to wash his hair. He’s gotta do _something_ with the other 118 minutes.”

“Even so, he’s allowed to do whatever he wants in his baths free from speculation! And you were being extremely rude to Takigawa-san!”

They were both laughing now, even though Rei was still trying to work in a lecture, and they were still laughing when Haru and Makoto found their way back to them.

“What’s so funny?” asked Haru

“Nothing!” they cried in unison. 

* * *

 Some time later, it was announced that the school’s jazz band would be performing in the auditorium. The throngs of people lingering in front of the pictures on the walls began to disperse, allowing Rin to finally take a look at Haru’s painting.

 _…It’s just like everyone said it was_ , he thought, standing in front of the large canvas, and while Rin wasn’t one to use flowery language, he had to admit it really was beautiful. He could remember being impressed with Haru’s works before now, but there was definitely something different about this one. Rei was right; he really had improved a great deal in a relatively short amount of time.

Rin hadn’t known it was possible for something to be rendered so realistically using just watercolor. It was a landscape of the small pond in the park by their campus. Rin knew it quite well; he ran past it a few times a week. Judging by the cherry blossom petals floating on the surface of the water, Haru must have started working on it at least a month ago. Amazing. Rin probably wouldn’t be able to produce something like that if he had a _year_.

He glanced at the small carded taped next to the painting, hoping it might provide a little more information, like a timeline, maybe, but all it contained was Haru’s name, the medium, and the title ( _Pond_. Rin couldn’t help laughing at Haru’s prosaic choice in phrasing). He supposed he could ask Haru himself, but somehow, that seemed a bit… undoable. Given his recent behavior.

“It’s impressive, isn’t it?”

Rin glanced behind him. Rei was standing there, smiling at him, his hands clasped behind his back.

“Sure is,” Rin agreed fervently. He chuckled to himself, rubbing the back of his neck. “That’s Haru for you, though. Has to be the best at everything, even if it’s just a hobby.”

“Hm.” Rei looked thoughtful. He gestured up to Haru’s painting. “Would you really call this a ‘hobby,’ though? It seems like a bit more than that to me.”

“Well…yeah.” Rin shrugged. Rei eyed him doubtfully, so he explained, “See, Haru’s been taking art classes for the same reason I’ve been taking a ton of English classes; it’s all just a way to fill the hours we’re not spending at the pool. Swimming’s our main priority, you know? We’re pretty much just biding our time until the right opportunity comes along.”

“I see,” Rei said quietly. Then, even more quietly, he added, “You’re always saying things like that…”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Rei shook his head.

“Ok…” Rin raised an eyebrow, but didn’t press him. Instead he turned back the painting, determined to chase away the suddenly troubled expression on Rei's face. He wasn’t really sure why it was there, but he did know that he wasn’t a fan of it.

“I’ll be honest—art isn’t really my thing, so I’m going to have to rely on you, Rei. Tell me, was Takigawa right about all that allegory shit?”

Rei let out a surprised laugh. “I…really don’t know. To be honest, I actually had no idea what he was talking about. I have studied artistic theory in the past, but his analysis was a bit beyond me.” He surveyed the painting for a moment and turned Rin with an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I’ve got nothing. I just figured Haruka-senpai liked the pond.”

“I think that’s probably a safer bet,” Rin chuckled. “If Haru says there’s no meaning, then there’s probably no meaning. Now  _this_ one—” He pointed to another painting to the right of Haru’s. “—This one, you could probably make a case for. Wanna give it a try?”

Rei pushed up his glasses— which, for him, was the equivalent of cracking his knuckles—and barely gave Rin time to prepare himself before launching into a lengthy spiel on line and color and form and whatever else he could pick out of the 30x40 canvas and analyze to pieces.

For the next half hour, they took turns coming up with increasingly outlandish interpretations of anything they saw hanging on the wall, and by the time Haru, Kisumi, and Makoto found them, they were barely even making sense anymore.

“You’re being weird tonight,” Haru complained as they tried to rein themselves in.

“I was thinking this earlier,” Kisumi said, watching them with a smile, “but you two are so giggly. It’s pretty fun to watch. You both think you’re hilarious, don’t you?”

That effectively shut them up. 

At Makoto’s suggestion, they stayed to watch some of the performances in the auditorium. Rin wasn’t quite sure how long they sat there, watching one-act play after one-act play, but eventually Haru nudged him and pointed Rei, who appeared to be, if not asleep, then pretty damn close. He was certainly making plenty of use of his armrest.

“It’s almost 11:30," Haru murmured, looking at his watch. Luckily, this particular play seemed to be drawing to a close. The curtain fell, and everyone clapped. Rei jumped in his seat slightly, the applause jolting him out his half-slumber.

That turned out to be the last performance of the night, so the five of them filed out the auditorium along with the rest of the audience.

“You ok?” Rin asked, slowing his pace a bit so he could walk next to Rei.

“Of course,” Rei said, blinking slowly and giving Rin a sleepy smile. He didn’t seem to realize he was tired. “Why do you ask?”

Rin shrugged and decided not to tell him it was because he looked like he was about to keel over. Instead, he got out his phone and dialed a taxi service. It was a twenty minute walk back to their apartment, and he didn’t really think Rei was up for that.

“What did you do that for?” Rei cried after he hung up. He looked slightly more awake now.

“I don’t feel like walking. Relax. I’ll pay.”

“That’s a huge waste of money,” Rei mumbled grumpily, but he allowed Rin to push him down onto a bench just outside of the building.

Haru and the others stopped in front of them.

“Wow, Rei, you look really—” Kisumi began, but Rin cut him off with a glare. “—awesome in this lighting. Anyway. It's been fun. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Take care of yourselves,” Makoto said, giving Rin a knowing look. “Haru, we’ll wait for you down there.” He took Kisumi by the shoulder and steered him in the direction of the stairs leading down to the sidewalk, leaving Rin, Haru, and Rei alone.

“Well, bye,” Haru said, turning to leave.

“Hold on a sec!” Rin blurted. Haru paused, looking at him expectantly. Rin took a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry about what I said last week…And the week before that. All the work you put into that thing of yours…well, it was worth it. I mean, not that you care, or anything, but…I thought it was really good. So. Yeah. Sorry.”

Haru raised his eyebrows, but thankfully seemed to take Rin’s words to heart.

“…Thanks for coming,” he said eventually. “And you, too, Rei.”

“You’re very welcome, Haruka-senpai,” Rei said as Rin jerked his head up and down in an awkward nod. “Thank you for inviting us.”

Haru nodded and turned around again, heading down the stairs, and Rin was finally able to relax. He sighed and slumped against the back of the bench.

“… _What_?” he snapped a few moments later when Rei wouldn’t stop staring at him with a stupid smile on his face. He still looked exhausted, but apparently not enough for him to want to cut Rin some slack.

“Nothing. I was just thinking…That was probably the most inelegant apology I’ve ever witnessed.”

Rin side-eyed him. “Well, that’s because I need more practice. Let me push you down the stairs sometime and I’ll apologize for that too.”

“It was nice,” Rei said.

“What was?”

“Your apology…It was nice.”

“…Pfft. You really _must_ be tired,” Rin murmured, his eyes on the street in front of them. He stood abruptly and pulled Rei up with him. “Come on, idiot. Cab’s here.”

“I’m not an idiot, Rin-san,” Rei yawned as he followed him down the stairs. They slid into the back seat and Rin told the driver the address.

They had ridden in silence for nearly ten minutes when Rin let out a startled squawk as something fell onto his shoulder. That something turned out to be Rei’s head. He’d dozed off for real this time. Fortunately—or not, probably not—Rin’s outburst woke him up, and as soon as he realized what he’d done, he scrambled as far away from Rin as the cramped space and his seatbelt would allow, letting loose a flurry of apologies.

“It’s fine, it’s fine!” Rin cried, trying to calm him down. The driver was giving them weird looks in the rearview mirror.

Rei remained wide awake after that, sitting up rigidly straight and facing forward.

They arrived in front of their building a few minutes later and Rei waited for Rin while he paid the driver.

"Well,” Rin said once they got back into their apartment, forcing a cheerfulness into his voice that he didn’t feel. “No need to ask what your plans for the rest of the night are. I bet you’re ready to go straight to—”

“Homework.”

“—bed,” Rin finished. “…Wait, what? But…but you…” He shook his head in bewilderment. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No,” Rei said. “What’s wrong? You’re the one who one who brought it up,” he added a little defensively.

“Oh, come on! You’re exhausted, aren’t you? Besides, you’ve been doing homework all day! You seriously haven’t finished it yet?”

“How can you say I’ve been doing homework all day when I clearly just spent four hours _not_  doing it?” Rei huffed.

Ok, apparently that had been the wrong tack to take. Rin sucked in a breath and tried another, though at the same time wondering why he even cared so much in the first place. 

“You’re absolutely right. My mistake. You’re a huge slacker, Rei. How dare you have a social life?”

“I know,” Rei said, and to Rin’s horror, he actually looked upset.  _Why_ , why had Rin thought sarcasm would be a good idea? “I shouldn’t have stayed out as long as I did. I’ll just have to make up for it somehow. If you’ll excuse me…”

As Rei turned toward his bedroom, Rin reached out to grab his arm, missed by a mile, and got his hand instead.

That alone was five flavors of awkward, but Rin didn't let go. Rei was pretty obviously spooked. He froze, staring at him with wide eyes.

 _Well. At least I’ve got his attention, now,_  Rin thought faintly. 

“...Rei,” he began, and his voice was surprisingly steady, almost like he _wasn’t_ embarrassed out of his mind. “I was just kidding. _Obviously,_ I was just kidding…I still probably shouldn’t have said it, though, so sorry. Listen, it's good for you to lift your head out of your books every once in a while..." He smiled and gave Rei's hand a little shake, just like he would have if his grip had been on his arm or shoulder. "...In fact, I suggest you do it more often. You’re gonna burn yourself out if all you do is work 24/7.” 

 Rei, who’d been staring down at their hands, almost transfixed, finally looked up at him.

“…I appreciate your concern, Rin-san," he said, and then he smiled like he really meant it. Rin found himself hoping he did.

He wasn't trying to be a pain, and the last thing he wanted was for Rei to feel like he was trying to tell him what to do. He just wanted him to slow down a bit.

 But before he could say so, Rei continued, “But I promise I have everything under control. After all, I’m nothing of not a master of time management.”

And with that, he gently tugged his hand out of Rin's, fixed on one of those empty, robotic, overly-confident smiles Rin hated so much, and turned away.

“No... _I’m_ a master of time management,” he muttered to Rei's retreating back. “You’re something else entirely.”

“Sorry, did you say something?” Rei glanced back at him.

“Don’t overdo it.”

 “I won’t,” Rei said. Then he shut the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I dedicate nearly an entire scene to a "Haru probably masturbates in the tub" joke? I thought it was funny at 4a.m. but now I wanna punch myself. Anyway, sorry about that and the rest of of this chapter. btw, Rei isn't dying or anything. He just has a lot of homework. All the time. And Rin's not gonna get hit by a bike. Bicycle-kun does become sort of important later, though. Also, a disclaimer: No, I don't think Rin is a bad friend to Sousuke. But there is evidence of him being a terrible pen-pal. 
> 
> It was fun having R, R, H, M, and K all together. Makes me feel bad I shipped Nagisa off to England, though. Meh, I'll bring him back eventually. Sousuke too. 
> 
> Anyway, next chapter, we finally find what Rei's deal is. There's also some more sports and a party. I'm excited. Rei's gonna get some actionnnn!!!(???) And oh, what do you know, Rin's gonna get some too! Please look forward to some actual rinrei in this rinrei fic <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei throws his hat into the ring for the title of Resident Hot Mess. Rin beats him by a landslide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took more than a month, but it's super long, so I hope that'll make up for it. School's ending soon, so I don't anticipate another wait like that. Oh and...
> 
> Warnings for this chapter:  
> Rei being a baby  
> Rin being a baby  
> Unskilled partying  
> Irresponsible drinking  
> Biting
> 
> Enjoyyy

 

To Rei’s credit, he put up a good front for another week or so.

Not that Rin had all that much time to observe him. Their next competition was fast approaching and Rin was determined to come away from this one without a single regret. He threw himself into his training with vigor and had been spending much more time in the water and at the gym than usual. He was still a little worried about Rei, of course, but he had to put that on the backburner for now. Besides, the few times Rin had seen him, he’d seemed relatively normal.

He should have known better, though. What constituted as normal for other people was by no means normal for _Rei._ His greetings had been a little too cheerful, and their conversations, though few, were a little _too_ full of Rei-isms, including an overabundance of scientific babble and severe abuse of the word 'beautiful.'

In short, he seemed to be trying to throw Rin off the scent.  And Rin, for his part, was perfectly willing to go along with it. Made _his_ life a hell of a lot easier, that was for sure.

Unfortunately, it all came crashing down much sooner than either of them would have hoped.

When Rin got home from swimming on Tuesday—tired, sore, and not entirely happy with how practice had gone—Rei was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework. That in itself wasn’t an unusual sight these days, but what _was_ unusual—and consequently the very first thing Rin’s eyes were drawn to—was how messed up his hair was. It was sticking up in several directions at once, like he’d just woken up or something, and Rin wondered if maybe he’d been asleep. But then he watched as Rei brought a hand up and dragged it rather violently through his hair, stopping just short of physically ripping it out.

...Well. That answered _that_ question.

“…Hey,” Rin said cautiously, and Rei, who had been so deep in concentration that he hadn’t even noticed Rin standing in front of the table, glanced up at him. He looked almost annoyed at the interruption, but once he saw who it was, his face relaxed a bit.

“Hello,” was all he said before returning to whatever he was working on. Rin decided to leave him alone, since he clearly wasn’t in a very chatty mood.

He took a shower, did some homework of his own, and was ready to go to sleep by 12. When he went out to the kitchen to get some water, Rei was right where he’d left him. Which was…surprising.

“What are you still doing out here?” Rin asked.

“Am I not allowed to be?” Rei replied without look up from whatever he was writing.

Rin raised an eyebrow. “No…but you’re usually in your room by this time.”

“I had no idea you were so attuned to my schedule, Rin-san. Tell me, what other observations have you made? What time I eat my meals, perhaps? Or the number of bathroom breaks I take in a day? Please, do share—you won’t be wasting my time _at all_ _!_ ”

“…Geez,” Rin muttered after his initial shock. “I was just wondering.”

He was a little hurt, and it must have shown in his voice because Rei finally looked up at him. It was the first time he’d lifted his head since he’d come in, and Rin couldn’t help but stare. He looked absolutely wrecked. His eyes were completely bloodshot, like he hadn’t slept in days.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…The light bulb in my desk lamp burned out, so I have to do my work out here.”

“What is that?” Rin asked curiously, indicating the packet Rei had lying open in front of him. It was the same one he’d been working when Rin had gotten home two hours ago.

“…Take-home quiz,” came Rei’s plaintive reply.

“Whatever.” Rin grabbed his water bottle and started toward his room. “Just…go to sleep soon. You look horrible.”

“I will.”

Rin left him alone after that and went to bed. Not that it did him much good. A feeling of foreboding had taken ahold of him and no matter how much he tossed and turned, he just couldn’t shake it. It didn’t really help that he was also trying to keep an eye on the crack under his door to see if the light in the kitchen was still on.

At 3 in the morning, right around the time Rin was grappling with himself over whether or not to go out there, he heard something that made the decision for him: Rei, who had been working quietly up until now, suddenly uttered the word “Dammit!” loud enough for Rin to hear through his door.

Rin was so shocked that Rei had actually cursed—however mildly—that he got right out of bed, threw open his door, and stalked into the kitchen to investigate.

And there Rei was, in the same cheap, plastic chair he’d been in for at least the last six hours. He was wearily rubbing a hand over his eyes, and when he caught sight of Rin standing imposingly in front of the table, he froze.

“W-what are you doing?” he asked, lowering his hand.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Rin said pointedly.

Rei’s previously exhausted expression instantly changed to one of panic. “I’m sorry!” he cried. “It’s the light, isn’t it? I knew this would happen! I’m so sorry, I’ll go work in the bathroom instead!”

He jumped up and started gathering his stuff, and Rin, who had been watching him with with puzzlement, put out a hand to stop him. “No, don’t. Just stay where you are.”

Rei lowered himself cautiously back into his seat, and when it was evident that Rin wasn’t going suddenly to change his mind and kick him out, he returned his attention to that quiz of his. Rin was surprised he hadn’t finished it yet.

He watched Rei toil away at it for a minute before coming around the side of the table to stand behind him. He looked down at the question Rei was working on and found that he actually recognized the material. He’d taken the same math class the previous semester.

He took a seat next to Rei, grabbed a pencil and one of the notebooks he wasn’t using, and worked the problem out himself.

“It’s the integral of _f_ of three-fifths,” he said eventually.

Rei shot him a startled look. “What?”

“That’s the derivative, right?” Rin asked, and Rei nodded blankly, not even bothering to look where Rin was pointing. “Then, yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m right. Make sure you check it with the calculator, though.” He pushed his chair back and got up from the table. “Anyway, hope I’ve lightened your load. You can thank me later.”

He started walking away but didn’t get very far before Rei grabbed onto his arm.

“How did you do that!? I’ve been working on this problem for the last forty-five minutes and I…What did you—?”

Rin heaved a sigh and dropped back down in his chair and looked over Rei’s work. “Relax,” he said. “Looks like you were on the right track. So, once you reduce this, you have to—”

“Wait, stop talking!” Rei suddenly bellowed. “This—this is a quiz! I can’t ask for _help_! And—oh my God, you just gave me the answer to a question! I can’t unhear that! I just _cheated_! I just cheated on a quiz!”

“Rei, seriously, calm d—”

“Do you know what this means!? I’m going to have forfeit this question by default! That’s four points! I just lost _four points_!”

To Rin’s utter horror, he looked like he was going cry.

“Rei, listen.” Rin put his hands on his shoulders. They were tense, but practically shaking at the same time. “It’s ok! You would have gotten it right anyway! And…” He scrambled around for something— _anything_ —that would help stall the tears. His eyes landed on Rei’s notebook. “And…It’s open-notes, right?”

He grabbed it and began flipping though. “Ok, let’s just find where you’re having trouble.”

“My notes haven’t been helping for a while now!” Rei sniffled. “I think I must have missed something, or not written them down properly.”

Shit. His eyes were definitely getting watery. Rin really couldn’t deal with that. Watching other people cry always made _him_ cry, and that just wouldn’t be helpful _at all_.

“Um, ok, just…hang tight for a second. I might have something that’ll help.” He got up from the table once again and hightailed it to his room, leaving an increasingly inconsolable Rei behind.

Rin shut his door, leaned back against it, and took a deep breath. Then he went to his bed and dug around underneath it, eventually pulling out a box of binders and notebooks from last year that he’d kept in case he ever needed to reference them. He was pretty sure he still had the one from Rei's class.

He began sorting through the box, still feeling a little shaky.

Rin was a kind of at a loss here. He’d honestly never seen Rei like that before. It was…upsetting. He was usually so put together, so on top of things, and even though Rin couldn’t really say he was _surprised_ it had come to this—the warning signs had been there, after all—it was still hard to watch. And for Rei’s sake, Rin was sorry that _he_ had to be the one to witness it. Because while Rin was plenty used to dealing with his _own_ crises, he had absolutely no idea how to handle other people’s.

It took him longer than anticipated to find the right set of notes, and in all honesty, he might have been stalling a little bit. He was sort of afraid of what he’d find when he went back out there.

That wasn’t fair to Rei, though, so Rin sucked it up, put on a falsely cheery face, and went back out to the kitchen.

“Here, Rei, you can use my notes. I won’t tell anyone if you wo—”

Rin stopped in his tracks, his fake smile sliding off his face. Because as it turned out, sometime within the fifteen minutes Rin was in his room, Rei had fallen dead asleep. Both he and his schoolbooks were sprawled out over the table, and even in slumber, Rei’s expression was troubled. He even had a pencil still clenched in his hand.

Rin was going back into panic mode. He stared at Rei for a few moments, trying to figure out what to do. Rei would probably want to be woken up, seeing as still hadn’t finished his quiz, but Rin didn’t think that would be a very good idea. He didn’t really want to do that.

Instead, he approached Rei, very hesitantly maneuvered himself underneath him, and hoisted him out of the chair. Then he grimaced to himself and commenced the arduous task of half-carrying, half-dragging Rei to his bedroom.

Rei, that deadweight idiot, didn’t wake up once, not even when Rin deposited him—not very gracefully—onto his bed. He just curled up a bit and continued snoring.

Panting slightly from his exertion, Rin stared bemusedly down at him for a moment.

...Honestly. What the hell was Rei’s problem? Was this what he called “having everything under control”—passing out on top of his unfinished homework at nearly four in the morning?

 _Idiot_. Rin shook his head turned away. He left Rei—but not before bending down and unplugging his alarm clock— and ambled back to his room.

Completely exhausted, he dropped into bed.

* * *

Rin left for class around seven that morning, having only slept for about three hours. That was better than nothing, though.

He didn’t see any sign of Rei before he left, and his door was closed, so Rin was pretty sure he was still asleep. Well, good. That _had_ been the plan when he’d unplugged his alarm clock. Hopefully that idiot would just take a sick day.

Rin finished up with his classes around 11:30 and hurried home, formulating a strategy to get Rei to talk to him. It was gonna be awkward as fuck, but enough was enough, already. Rin was sick of not knowing what was going on.

He’d thought Rei might still be asleep when he got back to the apartment—had _hoped_ he’d be, since that would give him more time to figure out how to broach the subject—but much to his surprise, Rei was wide awake when Rin walked through the door.

Wide awake and…kind of hysterical.

Rin stood in the doorway as Rei ran past him. He was rushing this way and that, from one end of the apartment to the other. From what Rin could see, he still hadn’t brushed his hair, and he was pretty sure his cardigan was on inside out. As Rin watched, Rei darted in and out of his bedroom, going back first for his glasses and then for his backpack. He shouted something that Rin didn’t quite catch before going into the kitchen.

Rin stepped further into the apartment and closed the door softly behind him.

“You ok there, Rei?”

Rei didn’t look up, occupied as he was with stuffing everything that was out on the kitchen table into his gaping backpack.

“Hey,” Rin tried again, taking a few steps toward him. “Can we…talk?”

Rei finally turned around, and Rin nearly backed away at the almost feral look in his eyes. “Didn’t you hear me!? I’m late! I’ve already missed three classes, and the next one starts in ten minutes!”

He pushed past Rin, went to one of the cupboards, and dumped an entire box of Rin’s energy bars into his backpack.

“There’s no way you’re gonna make it,” Rin said reasonably. “So just skip today. I wanna—” But Rei wasn’t listening.  Rin sighed and followed him into his room, where he had dropped to the floor to put on his running shoes.

“How could this have happened?” Rei muttered to himself as he fumbled with the laces. “I’ve never overslept before! No, that’s not true; I overslept _once_ , but not this badly. Someone must have unplugged my alarm clock—”

"Pfft. What do you mean _someone_?” Rin snorted, and Rei looked up at him with a start, as if he’d only just realized he was there. “It was me! Who else would it have been?”

Rei took a moment to process that. Then he sprang up from the floor and grabbed Rin by the collar.

“How could you _do_ that to me!? Are you _insane_? Unplugging someone’s alarm clock—that has to be _illegal_! I should press charges! Rin-san, I _swear_ I’m going to—Stop laughing! There isn’t anything funny about this!”

“You’re right, I’m sorry! Just…do me a favor and stay home today. Last night you—”

Rei let go of him abruptly and looked away. “I’m…sorry, but I don’t have time for this.” He attempted to brush past Rin for a second time as he went out the door, but Rin caught him by the arm and spun him around to face him.

“Come on, Rei, I’m sorry I unplugged your alarm, but you seemed like you needed to sleep. Seriously, can’t you just skip? Last night you were practically—”

“I’m sorry about last night, alright? Now please let me go!” Rei tugged his arm away, but Rin held on.

“Not until you tell me what your problem is.”

“I don’t— _have_ a problem!” Rei insisted as he twisted out of his cardigan. He escaped to the kitchen, leaving Rin holding nothing but the limp article of clothing. He tossed it aside and followed after him with grim determination.

He was standing in front of the fridge, attempting to fit a water bottle into his already overstuffed backpack. Rin cornered him there, bracing his hands against the fridge on either side of Rei’s shoulders.

“ _Look_ , missing a day isn’t gonna kill you, and I wanna talk. You’ve been acting weird for a while now, and I’m worr—I wanna know _why_. Now explain yourself.”

He glared at Rei, vaguely irritated that he had to look upwards a bit in order to do so.

Surprisingly, Rei actually looked ready to give in. “…Very well, Rin-san,” he sighed, his shoulders slumping. “You win. I’ll stay.”

However, as soon as Rin stepped back to put some daylight between them, Rei ducked under his arm and made a dash for the front door.

Unfortunately for Rei, Rin had been anticipating that. He’d seen the way his eyes kept darting to the door and could practically _hear_ the calculations running through his head. Rei had barely gotten a hand on the doorknob before Rin took a running jump and tackled him.

Rei went down with a yelp, and he writhed around on the floor, trying to get back up. “Rin-san, please get off! I need to go!”

Rin sat Rei’s back and kept him pinned there, looking at his watch as Rei flailed weakly. Barely a minute later, it read 11:45.

“HAH!” Rin crowed triumphantly, practically shoving his wrist in Rei’s face to show him the time. He leaned down so he could whisper directly in his ear, “Look at that, Rei. You’re _late_. Class has officially started without you!”

Rei twitched a bit.

“Now, I suppose I _could_ let you get up and send you on your way,” Rin continued loftily, “but are you _sure_ that’s a good idea? Have you ever arrived late to class before? It’s pretty embarrassing. The sound of the door opening is at least a 90 on the decibel scale. Everyone turns to stare at you as you walk in, and sometimes the teacher will even stop talking until you’ve made it to your seat. Is that _really_ what you want, Rei?”

Rei whimpered something unintelligible into the carpet. Rin smirked

“Thought so,” he said, trying not to laugh. “Alright, I’m gonna let you up now.”

He got to his feet, pulled Rei up from the floor, and dusted him off. Rei didn’t say anything. He just stood there, looking all shell-shocked, and Rin began to worry that he might have accidentally broken him.

He gave Rei a few gentle shoves toward the bathroom. “Go wash yourself up properly, ok? I’ll wait out here for you.”

Rei stumbled the rest of the way there himself, and once he’d closed the door and turned on the sink, Rin decided that he probably wasn’t catatonic and allowed himself to go sit down on the couch.

A few minutes later, Rei emerged, looking slighter neater, though no more relaxed. If anything, he looked guarded, as though he was afraid of what Rin was going to do to him. Well, Rin supposed he couldn’t blame him for that.

“Feel better?” he asked with a kind smile.

“No,” Rei said, but he sat down next to him anyway, sighing as he did so. He raised an impatient eyebrow at Rin “Well?’

“Well what?”

“You’ve got me here, haven’t you!?” Rei snapped. “So what do you intend to do with me?”

“I was thinking shopping?”

“…Excuse me?”

“Have you been to the downtown mall yet?” Rin asked, ignoring Rei’s bewildered expression. “They’ve got some pretty decent stores there. I heard they renovated recently.”

“ _What_ are you talking about?”

“Or we could see a movie, if you want. I didn’t think there was anything good out, but if you’ve had your eye on something…”

“I thought you wanted to talk!”

Rin shrugged. “We can do that later. I wanna take a breather first.”

“I don’t need to take a _breather!”_ Rei snarled. “I need to be in class!”

“Then why are you still _here,_ Rei?”

“Because you—!”

“Yeah, I know I body checked you,” Rin said dismissively. “But you didn’t fight back very hard, did you? This entire time, you could have fought harder _._ Or you could have just _ignored_ me and been out the door. But instead, you’ve been letting me delay you ever since I got home. We both know you could’ve made it to your class if you’d really tried, so just admit it—you didn’t actually want to go. You were just going through the motions because you think you _should_ want to.”

He’d figured it out sometime while Rei was in the bathroom, even if it was entirely likely that Rei hadn’t realized it himself. That sort of thing tended to dwell deeper in the subconscious than most people were comfortable exploring. The only reason Rin had been able to recognize it was because it just so happened that he was often similarly afflicted. He _had_ been just a week ago, in fact—that day he’d been hell bent on going to the pool when he was supposed to be recovering from the competition. He later realized that he hadn’t truly wanted to go, but at the time, he’d been convinced that it was the right thing to do. So he’d forced himself to be enthusiastic about it. But it was a sham. So, as soon as Rei had come home and unintentionally offered him an out, Rin had jumped on it.

Rei was glaring at him now, and he looked like he wanted to argue.

But then he looked away.

“So?” he said, crossing his arms. “Is there something wrong with just…going through the motions?”

Huh…Maybe Rei was more aware of it than he’d thought.

“Not really,” Rin said with a shrug. “I’m actually a pretty big fan of the whole ‘fake it ‘til it’s real’ approach, myself. But sometimes it’s better just to admit defeat. Takes a toll, don’t you think? It seems to me like you need one of those…what do call’ems—” He gestured vaguely. “—you know…They’re like rest days for athletes? Isn’t there some sort of equivalent for overworked nerds?”

Rei gave him a strange look. “A… day off?”

“Yeah, that’s it! You need a day off, Rei.”

Rei stared at him doubtfully, and Rin just smiled pleasantly back. Eventually, Rei sighed.

“Fine,” he said, and Rin mentally pumped his fist at this small victory. “But…why do we have to go _shopping_?” He said it with such distaste that Rin was mildly offended.

“Because it’s fun and relaxing!” he snapped, which he knew probably wasn’t very fun or relaxing of him. He stood up with an air of authority and pointed to Rei’s room. “Now go get ready!”

Miraculously enough, Rei did as he was told.

 

They arrived at the mall twenty minutes later, Rei trailing sulkily behind Rin the entire way there.

“So?” Rin said as they exited the department store they’d come in through on the first floor. “Where do you wanna go?”

“I don’t know,” Rei replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Why are we even here?”

He was acting like a little kid that had gotten dragged out to run errands, Rin noticed. It was kind of funny, but also a little disheartening, since the entire point in coming here had been to cheer him up.

They walked around for a little and Rei showed no interest in any of the stores they passed. Luckily, just when Rin was beginning to consider calling it quits, they turned a corner and ended up right in front of one of his favorite clothing stores.

“Oh, thank God,” he muttered under his breath. “Rei, we’re stopping in here.”

Rei looked annoyed, but he allowed himself to be dragged inside.

“I used to go to one of these back home a lot,” Rin said cheerfully as he pulled him along. “I didn’t know they had one here. It must’ve been added during the renovation.”

“How nice for you,” Rei said coldly.

Rin’s smile faded a bit. “Yeah, it _is_ nice for me, you jerk. I really like this place.”

Rei just crossed his arms and turned his head obstinately. He was now acting less like a disgruntled kid and more like a disgruntled _Haru_. It would have been cute if it hadn’t been so aggravating.

Rin sighed and decided to just leave him alone. Once he began browsing, however, it became obvious that Rei had no intention of doing the same for him. He followed Rin everywhere he went, sticking close and practically breathing down his neck.

“Are you ready to go yet?” he asked after less than five minutes.

“Back off, we just got here. Besides, I’m looking for some stuff.”

“What, are you running low on racerbacks and ankle bracelets?” Rei scoffed, and Rin, who was trying to remain easygoing about everything, kind of wanted to smack him.

He took a breath, put down the top he’d been looking at—a racerback, but that was beside the point—and looked levelly at Rei. “Ok, I’m gonna let that slide because _yeah_ , I do own a lot of racerbacks. Fucking sue me. They’re comfortable. _However_ — I’ve only got the one anklet, and I don’t even wear it that often, so if it really left that much of an impression on you, then clearly _you’re_ the one with the fixation, not me. And are you sure you wanna be taking shots at other people’s wardrobes, you butterfly _freak?”_

They glared at each other for a few moments before Rei seemed to realize that they were at an impasse and looked away first. He leaned against a shelf and Rin continued with what he was doing.

Eventually, he looked over at Rei and offered him a small smile. “Rei, go and look at something!" he urged. “Why don’t you get yourself some new pajamas? Because I hate to tell you this, but you’ve kind of grown out of your butterfly pair. Height-wise, I mean. Personality-wise they’re still a good fit. It’s a long shot, but maybe you can find something similar.”

“I don’t feel like it,” Rei mumbled.

Rin was a little disappointed. He’d been sure that would work. Normally, he’d be hard pressed to get Rei to _stop_ talking about those stupid pajamas. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d heard the story of how Rei had rescued them from a clearance bin and then proceeded to talk the price down even more because of a loose thread in one the sleeves. He was fucking crazy about those pajamas, and it didn’t take much to set him off. But now…nothing. Not even a smile. He just looked bleak and unhappy. _That,_ more than anything else, had Rin worried.

“Hey,” he said, nudging Rei’s shoulder with his own. “What are you thinking about?”

“Mechanistic organic chemistry.”

Rin blinked.

“Is…is that a class?”

Rei nodded gravely. “It’s where I’d be I wasn’t here watching you decide between thirty different washes of the same pair of jeans.”

About 95% of Rin’s sympathy drained out of him right then and there.

"Get over it,” he said. He gave Rei a hard pat on the cheek and went back to browsing.

A little while later, Rin headed for the dressing rooms with some stuff to try on and Rei hot on his trail. He waited for him outside and Rin could see him pacing back and forth from underneath the curtain.

“Rei, come here a sec,” he called eventually, and Rei paused in his incessant back-and-forth journey to shuffle over to him.

Rin shucked off the blazer he’d been trying on (which had been a tad long on him) and forced Rei to raise his arms long enough to stuff him into it.

“Huh,” he said, looking him over critically. “I was right. It does look better on you. You should get it.”

“I’ll pass,” Rei said stiffly, already shedding it and handing it back to him.

“Then I’ll get it for you.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Fine,” Rin sighed. He went back inside his dressing room and reemerged with a sweater for Rei to try on, and a few more items after that. And every time Rin advised Rei to get something, Rei would refuse, and Rin would just add whatever it was to the pile of stuff he was going to buy.

They repeated the same process in two more stores and by the time they made their way to the café area, Rei was weighed down with five bags full of clothes, a good portion of which were going to find their way into his closet whether Rei liked it or not.

 _I might have gone a little overboard,_ Rin realized as he glanced at Rei, who was looking a little worse for wear. He probably shouldn’t have made him carry all those bags. But he got the feeling Rei didn’t actually mind that much. It gave him something to do, at least. He’d even stopped complaining.

Still, though. Rin _had_ bought kind of a lot. He would have to dial it back a bit. He knew what this was, after all. Rin always spent money when he was feeling anxious about something. Shoot…He should probably return some of today’s purchases before his mom got the bill. She’d probably feel the need to call him up and ask if he was feeling ok.

The thing _was_ —he wasn’t quite sure what he was so anxious _about_ at the moment. Was it all stemming from his concern over Rei or was there something more personal to it?

Well, whatever. He’d deal with Rei first and then, if he had time, he’d try to figure out what his own problem was….If he had time and if he _felt_ like it, that is.

They stopped in front of a coffee stand before they sat down, Rin having realized rather guiltily that Rei probably hadn’t eaten anything today.

“Rei, what do you want?” he asked after he’d ordered himself a drink.

“Nothing,” Rei said. Rin sighed and ordered him the special that was written on the board and a plain scone.

They found a table and sat in silence for a while, just sipping their drinks while Rei pointedly ignored the scone Rin kept pushing toward him.

“…Is that good?” Rin asked eventually, gesturing to Rei’s drink.

"Yes,” said Rei.

“Can we talk now?”

“No,” said Rei. He stuck his straw back in his mouth and began sucking in earnest. He was nearing the bottom of his drink now. It was starting to make noise, but he didn’t seem to care. Rin reached out and pulled the cup away from his mouth. It went, but the straw stayed clenched between Rei’s teeth. Rin yanked it out.

“Humor me,” he said.

“…Fine.” Rei rolled his eyes, but didn’t go for his drink again.

“See, the thing is…” Rin began carefully. “’Look, I’m not trying to put you on the spot or anything, but it’s just…” Rin faltered at Rei’s derisive look, already feeling like he’d bitten off more than he could chew. He had a hard enough time articulating himself as it was, and Rei was being so goddamn uncooperative that Rin was tempted to just let him off the hook and put an end to this entire endeavor.

…But he couldn’t do that. He needed to get to the bottom of this for Rei’s own good. So Rin soldiered on.

“You’re not sleeping—not like a normal person, at least—and it’s been like that for a while now. I mean, I know you have homework and stuff, but it’s getting kind of ridiculous. And then last night you—well, you were there, you know what happened. So, I guess what I’m saying is…you’re stressed out, Rei.”

Rei didn’t respond. Rin tilted his head and regarded him with concern. “You…you do realize that, right? And don’t give me anymore of this _I’ve got it under control_ shit because it’s pretty obvious that you _don’t_. So spill. What’s got you wound so tight?”

Rei shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He looked down at his hands, which were playing with his straw. “I…” he paused, and in his moment of hesitance, something seemed to strike him. All of a sudden, he straightened up and looked Rin in the eye for the first time since the conversation had begun. “What about _you_ , Rin-san?”

“What _about_ me?” Rin asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Well,” Rei said, pushing his glasses up with a finger. “I just think that if any one’s tightly wound about something, it’s _you_. You’ve been acting strange yourself ever since that night I found you at the pool, after your fight with Haruka-senpai. And even more so since you got back from your competition. You did well, so at first I had hard time imagining why you seemed so discontent. However, given the amount of time you’ve spent at the gym recently, the slight increase in definition your serratus anterior and extensor muscles have gained, the extra hours you’ve been putting in at the pool, and, of course, your aversion to the topic in general, I can only assume that your behavior is stemming from feelings of inadequacy due to your inability to beat Haruka-senpai in freestyle and from the more generalized fear that you’ll ultimately fail to meet the standards to which you hold yourself. It’s understandable, I suppose. There’s nothing more devastating to a perfectionist personality such as yours than putting effort into something that doesn’t yield the desired results. Especially _now_ , considering how important this year is in regards to your Olympic prospects. You’re under a great deal of pressure, aren’t you? So perhaps what you’re doing, Rin-san, is projecting your _own_ stress on to _me_. Would you like to _talk_ about it?”

This last part was said so nastily—so cuttingly—that it was a wonder Rin’s ears didn’t fall right off.

And Rin just sat there, listening to this tirade and growing steadily angrier by the second. It wasn’t until he felt a sting in his hand that he realized he’d been gripping his coffee cup hard enough to crack it, causing one of the sharp plastic corners to dig into his palm.

He released the cup and clenched his now free hand into a fist. Rei was looking at him with a satisfied expression on his face, and Rin felt another bolt of anger surge through him. “When did I _ever_ say _—!_ “ he began, but he cut himself off when he realized that he never _had_ to say anything.

“You never had to say anything. I could just tell,” Rei said, echoing Rin’s thoughts. “The fact that you try so hard to hide it is what gives you away. You’re incredibly easy to read. Tell me, is it _exhausting_ being that transparent?”

A few years ago, Rin might have hauled off and punched him, but he was older now. He knew how to think things through. He took a deep breath and worked on calming down. Shit, he’d really hit the bull’s eye, though. Almost everything he said was true, _he was such a fucking_ —no, no, he wouldn’t call Rei names. Rin didn’t want to fight. He knew Rei wasn’t actually trying to hurt him—at least not _badly_. He was just trying to deflect attention away from himself...

It still was dirty trick, though. Rin was an easy target.

“Heh,” he snorted quietly to himself. Finally, he looked up at Rei with a brittle smile. “…You always _were_ very observant. Is that what you do, Rei? Collect facts and figures off people when they’re not looking and store them away until you need to put someone back in their place? Because I gotta tell you, man—that is _Not_. _Cool_.” He tugged his straw out of his drink and flicked it at Rei, sending little droplets of iced coffee splattering onto his face.  “It’s borderline manipulative, actually, so I suggest you empty out that file of yours. People’s feelings aren’t data, Rei. Don’t treat them like they are.”

Rei at least had the decency to look ashamed of himself as he wiped his glasses off on his shirt. “…I’m sorry,” he mumbled eventually. “That…I was out of line.”

“Damn right, you were,” Rin said leaning back in his chair. “Honestly, I know you’re not a _machine,_ Rei, but you sure fucking act like it sometimes. You’re like a computer with a vendetta. It’s _annoying_.”

Rei looked exceedingly uncomfortable. _Good_ , Rin thought. Maybe now they could get back to the topic at hand.

“Anyway. Your plan failed, asshole. We’re still talking about you.”

Rei nodded mournfully, and Rin went right back to feeling sorry for him. Which was...troubling. What was that about, anyway? It had been like that for a while now—like he was incapable of staying mad at Rei for more than ten seconds at a time.

“Look,” Rin continued, shaking his head, “correct me if I’m wrong, but…isn’t school supposed to be, like, your  _thing_?”

“It is,” Rei agreed.

“Right…then shouldn’t you have a better handle on it? ‘Cause no offense, but you really seemed to be struggling with some fairly basic material on your quiz last night. I mean, I know multivariable calculus isn’t exactly easy to absorb, but it _was_ open-notes, and believe me, those quizzes are only gonna get harder.”

“I know that!” Rei snapped, and Rin realized he should probably stop criticizing and try to get to the root of the problem. He’d be willing to tutor Rei, if need be…Except _when_? Rei was almost never free at the same times Rin was.

“Ok, I probably should have asked you this a while ago, so forgive me for that, but…what exactly is your class schedule like?”

And to Rin’s increasing shock and horror, Rei rattled off a list of seven classes, five of which met every day, two of which every other day.

“What the hell!” he cried. “Why would you do that to yourself? Wait— _How_ are you doing that to yourself? I thought you had to get special permission to take more than five classes at a…” Rei raised an eyebrow “…And you _did_ get special permission. I see.”

Rin bit his thumbnail and turned that information over in his head a few times. “...Well there’s your problem right there! You’re spreading yourself too thin! No wonder you suck at calculus. You’re only giving it one-seventh of your attention.”

Rin was amazed. He couldn’t imagine trying to handle seven classes. He couldn’t even handle TV shows with more than four plot lines.

“…Do you even know all of your professors’ names?”

Rei rolled his eyes. “Are you satisfied now?”

Rin shook his head, still a bit dazed. “God…I guess that explains why you haven’t been sleeping. How did I not know any of this?”

“You just said it, didn’t you?” Rei grumbled. “You never bothered to ask.”

“Well, better late than never. Actually, I’d say I found out just in time.”

“In time for what?”

"To tell you to drop a class,” Rin said bluntly. “Or maybe two.”

Rei glared at him. “No.”

“Fine, just one then, but I still think you’re crazy. Six classes are—”

“I’m not dropping _any_.”

“Why the hell not!?” Rin snapped. “Save some for next semester, why don’t you? I mean, what, is it like a matter of _pride_ or something? I already know you’re smart, Rei! You don’t have to kill yourself trying to prove it!”

“I’m not trying to prove anything!” Rei cried, thumping a fist on the table. “And I _can_ handle it!”

“Rei, I don’t think _anyone_ could handle that. Besides, it’s only your first year. Why are you doing this yourself?”

Rei was silent for a moment. He stared down into his drink, poking his straw at the melting ice. Finally, without looking up, he mumbled something Rin couldn’t quite make out.

“What was that?”

Rei winced, like he really didn’t want to repeat himself. “I said…it’s the same course load my father and brother both took when they went here.” He raised his head a bit, but still didn’t meet Rin’s eyes. “And if they were able to do it, then there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to.”

“Oooh,” Rin said, nodding thoughtfully. _Finally we’re getting somewhere_. “So that’s what it is. The Ryugazaki Family Tradition of Overachievement, huh?”

Rei actually smiled a tiny bit at that. “I suppose you could call it something along those lines. But…that’s common, isn’t it?”

“What, family traditions? Well, yeah. But yours is…a little less so, I’d say.”

Rei shook his head. “No, I just meant…following in the footsteps of family members who came before you—it’s not really a tradition so much as an expectation, right?”

“Well…sure,” Rin said hesitantly. “But something like _this_ is kind of…” He trailed off, not really sure what to say. The conversation seemed to have taken kind of a weird turn.

Rei bit his lip, looking a little worried by Rin’s noncommittal reply. “It’s just… Aren’t children supposed to match their parents’ success and eventually exceed it? Isn’t that the entire point of procreation? So the next generation can surpass the previous one?”

“Um…probably?” Rin said. He could remember reading something similar in a sociology textbook once. “I mean, that’s kind of a barebones way of looking at it, but I _guess_ it’s true.”

Rei nodded. “That’s what I’ve been thinking, at least,” he said quietly.

“Is that the sort of thing you think about a lot?”

“Of course. I’m an adult now, aren’t I? I _have_ to start thinking about that sort of thing.”

Rin raised an eyebrow. “People who have to be carried to bed by their roommates don’t get to call themselves adults,” he said, and Rei flushed slightly.

Letting out a sigh, Rin leaned forward to put his arms on the table, resting his chin on top of them. “So?” He looked up at Rei. “What are you up against?”

Rei looked confused for a moment, but then seemed to understand. “My parents, you mean?”

Rin nodded. He’d just realized he knew next to nothing about Rei’s family. Rei never talked about them much, but apparently they had a much bigger influence on him than he’d ever let on.

“Well… my mother’s an optometrist and my father’s an engineer.”

“What kind?”

“Cryogenic.”

Rin nodded, figuring it would probably save time if he just pretended like he knew what a cryogenic engineer actually was. “And what about your brother? He making more money than them yet?”

Rei shook his head. “He’s in America, getting a PhD in pharmaceutics.”

Rin grimaced. “Wow. Looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you, Mr. Match and Exceed.”

“I guess,” Rei said with a shrug. He didn’t seem terribly happy about it.

Rin watched him fidget, feeling a pang of sympathy for him. The idea of Rei being burdened by family stuff wasn’t one that had ever occurred to Rin. He couldn’t really relate, but he imagined it had to suck.

“…Geez. Are your parents really putting that much pressure on you?”

Rei seemed surprised. “No, not all.”  He frowned and looked back down at the table. “…I don’t think they particularly care what I do. They probably would have been just as happy if I’d gone to trade school or something.”

Now it was Rin’s turn to be surprised. He stared at Rei, something clenching tightly and unpleasantly in his gut.

If Rei wasn’t going to all of this trouble to please his parents, then that would mean all of the stress—all of the _pressure_ —on him was there because he’d put it there himself.

And Rin knew all too well what that was like. After all, it wasn’t as if it was his _mom_ pushing him towards a career in swimming. That was all him.

“…So, It’s all you, then?” he asked incredulously. “You’re the one who wants to surpass your parents? And _you’re_ the one who thinks taking seven classes is the way to do that?”

“You’re still stuck on that?”

“’Course, I am! It’s fucking excessive. Are you sure you’re not just doing it because your dad and brother did it?”

He’d sort of expected Rei to get mad at him for that. Was hoping he would, actually, since that would mean he was right, and _that_ would mean Rei really was doing all of this for show, and not because he actually… _wanted_ to.

But to Rin’s surprise, instead of putting up a fight, Rei just smiled sadly. “Maybe I am,” he said. “Just a little bit. But…is that a bad thing? I mean, it can’t be _that_ weird for me to want to prove that I can do it—that I’m just as capable as them….Even if the only person I’m proving it to is myself.”

 _…Well shit_. What the hell was Rin supposed to do with _that?_ His stomach clenched almost painfully once again, which was apparently his body’s way of reacting whenever Rei said something that hit a little too close to home.

“No, it’s…it’s not weird at all,” he said. Rei looked up at him and Rin released a breath through gritted teeth. He forced a smug smile to his face and added, “See? I knew you were trying to prove _something_.”

“Yes, I suppose you caught me,” Rei conceded drily.

They fell silent for a little while after that, each retreating into his own head.

Rin couldn’t say he was particularly happy with how things had turned out. He had expected to feel relieved once he’d gotten the truth out of Rei, but instead he just felt kind of lousy.

He and Rei apparently had much more in common than he’d thought, and that was an entirely unwelcome revelation. Especially because Rin knew exactly how he would want to be dealt with if he were in this situation—how he _had_ been dealt with a few years ago, the very first time he’d hit a wall in his training.

And that was what Rei would probably want, too. After all…nobody liked being told they couldn’t accomplish what they’d set out to do.

“Alright,” Rin said, and Rei, who looked like he’d been deep in his thoughts, jumped slightly.

“Alright, what?”

“If this is what you really want, then I’ll get off your back. You just…keep doing what you’re doing. I mean….It’ll be worth it in the end, right?”

For the first time since Rin had dragged him out on this useless, misguided endeavor, Rei’s shoulders relaxed. “I… I hope so,” he said eagerly. It made Rin a little sick to see how grateful he seemed to be that the entire issue was essentially being swept under the rug.

“But no more freak-outs in the kitchen, alright?” he added. “If you’re gonna have a meltdown, take it to your room.”

“I will! I promise! It was highly inappropriate for me to do that in a common area, it won’t happen again!”

“Then…carry on, I guess,” Rin sighed. Loath as he was to do so, he was just going to have step back, let Rei do his thing, and hope for the best.

 

They left soon after that at Rin’s suggestion. He suddenly wasn’t in the mood to shop anymore. He had hoped that _Rei_ , at least, might feel better after their talk, but he seemed just as subdued as he had been since they’d arrived, if only slightly less tense. Not really surprising, though. This whole outing had been entirely pointless. Rin had his answers, but nothing had been solved. They were pretty much just back where they’d started.

And that just didn’t sit well with Rin.

 _I wanna swim,_ he thought forlornly as he and Rei walked back home. At this point, he was just feeling sorry for the both of them and didn’t want to think about it anymore. And swimming was always the best way to take his mind off things. Besides, he didn’t really feel like sticking around to watch Rei panic about all the shit he’d missed in class today.

…But that _did_ give him an idea.

“Wait out here for a minute,” he told Rei when they arrived at the building, and before he could ask way, Rin took the shopping bags from him and went inside, leaving him outside on the porch.

He entered their apartment long enough to toss the bags in his room, put his swimsuit on under his clothes, and stuff an extra towel in his bag before going back outside to Rei.

“’Kay, let’s go,” he said, hopping off the stairs and onto the sidewalk.  

“Where are we going?” Rei asked warily, following Rin up the street.

Rin smiled at him over his shoulder. “You’ll see when we get there.”

They arrived in front of the aquatic center ten minutes later.

“…What are we doing here?”

“Gee, _I_ don’t know,” Rin said sarcastically, smiling at Rei as he held the door open for him. 

Rei frowned and crossed his arms. “You could have at least let me get my suit,” he complained as Rin led the way to the locker room.

“You would have just locked yourself in your room if I’d let you back in. Trust me, it’s better this way. You can borrow one of mine. I’ve got like six in here,” he added, setting his duffel bag down one of the benches in front of the lockers. Rin liked having spares. He was kind of paranoid like that.

“That doesn’t sound sanitary."

Rin raised an eyebrow. “Are you implying that I don’t wash my swimsuits?”

“…Not really,” Rei said with an apologetic grimace. “I was just looking for an excuse…Though, I suppose now I’ll _have_ to wear one or you’ll be horribly insulted, right?”

“I'm afraid so,” Rin laughed. He unzipped his bag and started going through it. Rei let out a small sigh and leaned against a locker. Rin paused in his rummaging to watch him, his smile fading.

“…Sorry,” he said quietly. Rei glanced at him. “I’ve kind of been forcing you to do stuff against your will all day, haven’t I? You, um—you don’t have to swim with me if you really don’t want to. I just thought it might make you feel better.”

Rei didn’t say anything for a long moment, and Rin waited apprehensively. Finally, he heaved yet another—much more dramatic—sigh and pushed himself off the wall.

“I highly doubt any of your suits will fit me,” he said, coming over to the bench and picking up one of the pairs of legskins Rin had laid out.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Rin said, fighting back a smile. “You might have shot up a bit, but we’re still in the same bracket.”

“Whatever you say,” Rei murmured as he began unbuttoning his shirt.

“…Oh, right. I forgot to sign us in,” Rin said, looking away. “I’ll be right back.”

He left the locker room and returned a few minutes later. Rei wasn’t where he’d left him, and Rin figured he’d probably gone to the bathroom. He stripped off his clothes and stuffed them in a locker, then grabbed two pairs of goggles and two towels from his bag.

“Are you sure it’s ok for me to wear this?” 

“ _Yes_ , I’m sure,” Rin said, shutting the locker door and turning to face Rei, who had wandered back to him. “It’s…”

He trailed off as he got a good at him. Rei was shifting uncomfortably in one of Rin’s suits, clutching a neatly folded pile of clothes to his chest. The swimsuit…well, it didn’t fit him _perfectly_ —it stopped a bit short of his ankles and sat a little low on his hips—but it was wasn’t anything…indecent...Rin was pretty sure.

Rei was looking at him expectantly, he realized, once he’d managed to tear his eyes away from his lower body and bring them up to his face where they belonged. Rin swallowed and shook his head a bit to clear it.

“…It’s fine.” He collected his goggles and towel from the bench and headed toward the pool entrance. “See? I told you it would fit,” he added breezily, snagging a finger under Rei’s waistband and snapping it against his hip as he passed by him.

“ _Ow._ What was that for!?”

Rin ignored him and pushed open the door. 

The pool wasn’t very crowded. Only a few lanes were occupied by students and the occasional faculty member, as was typical for a weekday afternoon. Rin led them over to two starting blocks near the center.

“Butterfly, right?” Rin said, looking over a Rei. He nodded, still not looking entirely happy to be there.

“Well,” Rin continued with a taunting smile as they stepped onto the blocks. “Do your best. Not that I’m not expecting much, of course. You haven’t been swimming for a few months, right?”

 _Finally_ , Rei smiled.

“I must admit,” he said, putting on his goggles, “I’ve beaten you so many times at running now that I’ve completely forgotten what it feels like to lose to you.”

“Oh, don’t worry—I’ll remind you. We’re back on my turf now.”

They took their positions and, at Rin’s signal, dove in.  Rin put everything he had into those fifty meters, pulling out all the stops. Normally, he gave it his all no matter who he happened to be racing, but there were certain people, such as Haru and Rei, who had a slightly larger claim on his energy reserves. Haru because—well, just because. And Rei because…because no matter what, he always raced Rin in earnest. Even back when they'd first met each other and been nowhere _near_ evenly matched, Rei seemed to take racing with Rin very seriously. And Rin owed it to him to return the sentiment. He’d always admired that kind of determination.

…Which was why he was so disappointed when Rei hit the wall practically ten seconds after he did.

Rei was panting slightly as he ripped off his goggles and looking much happier than he had all day. He gave Rin a dazzling smile.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Rin snapped. “I was just kidding, you know! I didn’t _actually_ think you were out of shape! When the hell did you get so slow?”

To his surprise, Rei laughed. “I haven’t gotten slow, Rin-san,” he said. “You’ve just gotten faster—incredibly so. It’s _amazing_ how much you’ve improved in just one year. You’re even further out of my league than you were before! But I guess that’s to be expected from a future Olympic athlete.”

The look he was giving Rin was one of pure admiration, and Rin had to turn away.

“D-Don’t say that,” he mumbled, although he wasn’t quite sure which part he was objecting to. It probably _was_ for the best that he’d moved up a few levels— he couldn’t swim like a high schooler forever—but it still made him a bit sad for some reason. “Anyway, I _still_ think you’ve slowed down some.”

Rei shrugged. “I might have. But you must admit, my form is just as perfect as it’s always been.”

“Eh. Debatable.” He didn’t really mean that, but Rei’s offended squawk made it worth it. “Alright, back on the block. We’re gonna keep going until you beat me.”

They raced four more times and eventually tied. Rei was beginning to look tired, so Rin supposed he would have to be satisfied with that.

“So,” he said after Rei got his breath back. He rested his arms and chin on the lane divider and looked up at Rei, who was sitting on the pool ledge. “I guess this means…you’re done swimming for good?”

Rei looked thoughtful. “…Competitively, at least,” he said after a moment. “I still it enjoy it like this, though.”

“I see...Well, what about track, then? You’re still keeping up with your running. Would you ever consider joining the university team? Once your workload lightens up, I mean.”

Rei smiled and shook his head. “I think those days are over for me,” he said. “It was a great experience in high school—being on a team—but I need to put all of my energy into my education now.”

He didn’t sound as though he regretted this reality, which was a good thing, Rin supposed. He wouldn’t want Rei to regret it.

“So…you’ve moved on? Is that what you’re saying?”

"Something like that.” 

Rin nodded, telling himself it was stupid to feel depressed over it. “Too bad. I would have liked to see what you can do when you have some actual competition. You probably have to hold back a lot when it’s just the two of us, huh?”

“Just a little bit,” Rei admitted. “It wouldn’t be any fun if I always left you in the dust.”

Rin laughed and lifted himself onto the ledge next to him. “You were king of the track in middle school, right?’ he asked. “Nagisa’s shown me pictures of your awards.”

Rei grimaced. “Why on earth would he do that? And why would he even _have_ pictures of them?”

“Because he think's they're cool,” Rin said, elbowing him in the ribs. “Come on, don’t be modest. I wanna hear about the glory days. What was your best event?”

Rei crossed his arms and thought about it for a moment. “Hmm. The pole vault, probably.”

Rin gave a low whistle. “Oh, that's the one with the stick right? Very impressive. I wouldn’t have pegged you for the pole vaulting type, but it's not like I've studied it extensively, so what do I know? I’ve only seen videos. I guess it _does_ explain your arms, though.”

“What?”

…Oh, whoops. Had he said that last part out loud?

“Oh, um—I just meant...the straight up sprinters are usually built kinda narrow, but you’re, uh, a bit broader around the shoulders and stuff…That’s probably why you took to the butterfly so well. ‘Cause—I mean—you already had the upper body strength, so, um. Yeah…”

He trailed off because Rei just looked confused and Rin was embarrassed and kind of confused himself. They sat there like that for a minute or so.

“…Do you want to race again?” Rei asked eventually.

“Good idea,” Rin said quickly. He made to slip back into the water, but paused when he heard someone padding up to them from behind. When he twisted around, he saw that it was Haru.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” Rin asked, blinking at him in surprise.

Haru raised an eyebrow. “What day is it?”

“Wednesday…”

“Right. And I’m always here at four on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. My classes ended at 3:30 on those days.”

“Don’t expect me to just know things like that,” Rin grumbled, although he was pleased to hear that Haru was getting in that much extra time outside of practice. He’d been a little worried lately that he was slacking off.

“What’s Rei doing here?”

Rei and Rin glanced at each other, and it was plainly written all over Rei’s face that he didn’t want Haru to know about what had been going on with him earlier.

“I just felt like bringing him along,” Rin shrugged. “He hasn’t gone swimming in while. And believe me, it’s showing.”

“Oh.” Haru seemed to accept his answer. He nodded at them and went to the empty lane next to Rin.

“Alright, you ready to race?” Rin asked, turning back to Rei, but Rei was too busy watching Haru swim to notice.

“I haven’t seen Haruka-senpai’s swimming in a long time,” he said, looking strangely serene. “It’s still as beautiful as ever.”

“Yeah, he’s alright,” Rin said, sparing a glance at Haru—although he couldn’t help but agree. Then he smirked and flicked some water at Rei to get his attention. “But actually, I’ve been thinking this for a while—how come it’s only ever Haru that gets you going? I mean, we’ve been swimming together for almost as long, and you’ve never said that about _me_.”

Rin was joking, of course, but Rei seemed to take what he said very seriously. “I had no idea you felt that way. Do you _want_ me to say it?”

“Sure, knock yourself out," Rin replied with an airy wave of his hand.

“Very well…Rin-san, I think your swimming is very beautiful.”

Too late, Rin realized he had made a terrible mistake. The effect was instantaneous and he turned his entire body away from Rei, hiding his burning face in his hands.

“What’s wrong?!” Rei asked in alarm. Rin shook his head.

“I change my mind,” he said from behind his hands. “Do me a favor and never say anything like that ever again.”

"You’re the one who asked me to do it in the first place!”

“I know what I did! Just shut up, ok!?”

“What are you guys doing?” Haru asked, popping up inside Rin’s lane.

“Nothing!” Rin cried. Then he pushed himself into the water and dunked his head under for a second. “I’m gonna do a lap. Entertain Rei while I’m gone.”

He took off before either of them could say anything, hoping a length of freestyle would redistribute all the blood that had decided to congregate in his face. It worked, luckily, and by the time he returned, he was significantly less flustered.

“—feel sort of bad that I haven’t kept up with swimming,” Rei was saying to Haru, who was now occupying Rin’s place next to him on the ledge. “He seems unhappy about it.”

“He’ll get over it,” Haru said. “ You’ve got more important things to do now.”

Rin felt a flare of indignation. “Well, you can’t blame me!” he snapped, and they looked down at him, having only just noticed he’d come back. “What teacher _wouldn’t_ be disappointed that their student’s lost interest? Rei was my protégé, don’t forget!”

Haru rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Actually, the entire swim team knows,” he added, turning to address Rei. “He talked about you all the time last year.”

“I did not!”

“Did too.”

Rin glared at him. Haru was exaggerating. Besides, it wasn’t like he hadn’t done the same thing. They’d both talked about _all_ of their friends. Rei just happened to have more of a story attached to him.

“Well, even if I did, so what?” Rin groused, crossing his arms. “People enjoy hearing that sort of thing. I mean, he went from not even knowing how to swim to beating people who’d been doing it their entire lives all in the space of a year! What’s not to like about that? He’s a conversation piece….And I didn’t just talk about Rei,” he added, jabbing a finger at Haru’s chest. “I talked about everyone.”

“I never said you didn’t.”

Rin bared his teeth. “You can go back to your lane now. And take your weirdly biased version of events with you."

“Ok,” Haru said. He slid into the water, ducked under the lane divider, and swam away, leaving Rin shaking his head after him. Then Rei cleared his throat, making him jump. He’d kind of forgotten he was there.

“S-sorry about that. Anyway, where were we—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rei said, standing up. His cheeks were faintly red. “I should be getting back now.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to rush off or anything. The place won’t clear out for practice for another hour.”

Rei shook his head. “I really need to go home. I’ve got professors to email and work to catch up on, remember?”

Rin’s face fell. “Oh yeah,” he said. “Well…good luck with that.”

His disappointment must have shown because the next thing he knew, Rei was smiling and crouching down in front of him.

“You were right,” he said. “I did need a day off. Thank you.”

“I…didn’t really do anything,” Rin mumbled, looking away awkwardly. It was true, too. He hadn’t done a damn thing except make Rei carry his shopping bags.

"You listened to me, didn’t you? That was more than enough. I felt much better after talking to you. I wish I had done it sooner. And…I hope you know that if you ever feel like talking…I’ll listen, too.”

He could have been referring to any number of things, Rin realized. But he probably meant the problems he had been having with swimming lately.

“…Thanks. Maybe I’ll take you up on that sometime.” _Probably not, but it was sweet of him to offer._

And even though Rin’s words weren’t honest, the smile he gave Rei definitely was. They said their goodbyes and Rei headed for the locker room. Rin watched him go and he didn’t notice that Haru had wandered back into his lane until he heard him say, “What’s wrong with your face?”

Rin realized he was still smiling, but he didn’t really care.

“So?” Haru pressed when Rin didn’t answer him. He gestured toward the locker room door Rei had just disappeared behind. “What was that about?”

“Nothing…” Rin shook his head. “We just…understand each other, that’s all.”

Haru stared at him for a moment, and when Rin turned to look at him, he let out a snort.

“Yikes,” he said before dipping back under the water.

“…What’s that supposed to mean!?” Rin called after him, but he’d swum too far away to hear him.

* * *

 

The rest of the week passed surprisingly normally. Rin was still busy with training and Rei was still unreasonably busy with school. The only difference now, however, was that Rin was actively trying to _not_ keep tabs on Rei and Rei was actively trying to _not_ draw attention to the fact that he was drowning in work. But other than that, it was almost as though nothing had even happened.

And…it was an ok system, Rin decided. Rei hadn’t dropped dead yet, and he’d looked fine when he’d gotten up for their morning run on Friday. He was even still making Rin lunch every day. Rin had thought about telling him to lay off, but he figured Rei would probably just be insulted.

It was all for the best, anyway. He promised Rei he would stop meddling, and that meant that he was free to put all of his energy into getting ready for the impending competition.

That weekend, Kisumi came by the apartment and invited Rin to play soccer with him in the park. Rin had been planning on going to the gym, but agreed nonetheless. Exercise was exercise, after all. Plus he hadn’t had a chance to hang out with Kisumi yet.

They used to play soccer a lot in elementary school, and unfortunately, neither Rin nor Kisumi had improved much since then. They started off playing one-on-one, but had eventually been joined by a group of Kisumi’s classmates who happened to be passing by, and who—upon realizing that kicking the ball to either of them wasn’t a great idea—began systematically phasing them out of the game. It wasn’t long before Rin and Kisumi were sitting on the sidelines watching other people play with Kisumi’s ball.

“It’s ok,” Kisumi said, lying back and making himself comfortable on the grass. “It’s actually my roommate's ball, not mine.”

“Why _soccer?”_ Rin asked crabbily. He had not taken being shunted off the field nearly as well as Kisumi had. “You know we both suck. How was that destined to be fun?”

“Well, we had to do _something_. And I figured it’d be more fun if we were evenly matched. You know, ‘cause you’d never be able to beat me at basketball, and I’d never be able to beat you at swimming. And since my roommate just _happened_ to have a soccer ball lying around…”

“Geez, you put way too much thought into this.”

Kisumi shut his eyes against the sunlight and nodded sadly. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come if I didn’t already have a preplanned activity in mind.”

“Why would you think that?” 

“Well, _Haru_ always gets pissed when I turn up just to chill, so I figured I must have been doing something wrong.”

“Man, he’s really done a number on you, huh?” Rin said, shaking his head in sympathy.

“Tell me about it,” Kisumi muttered, looking up at Rin. “I thought things would be different, now, you know? I mean since we’re older and stuff—but apparently I’m still persona non grata with him. I just don’t get _why_. I’m always perfectly nice to him…Like, literally the _only_ reason I can think of is that he’s still mad that I got Makoto to join the basketball team back in middle school. Which is _so dumb_ because he only lasted like five minutes before defecting for the swim team.” Kisumi sighed and rolled around on the ground a bit. “Or maybe there’s no grudge, and he just dislikes me as a _person!_ Man, that’s depressing. Poor me.”

“Well, he does tend to have a problem with pushy people,” Rin said reasonably. Kisumi shot him a dirty look.

“Then what’s he doing being friends with _you_?”

“I’m special,” Rin shrugged.

“Hah.” Kisumi sat up and brushed some grass out of his hair. “That reminds me: back then, the only times Haru would willingly participate in a conversation with me was when I talked about _you_.”

“Really?” Rin was strangely flattered. “What sort of things did you tell him?”

“Oh, you know. The adventures of elementary school Rin—that sort of thing. Basically all the times you embarrassed yourself or otherwise failed to function as a normal human being.”

“Your loyalty is touching.”

Kisumi laughed. “Sorry! But it was for a good cause! Have you ever experienced an awkward silence with Haru? It’s almost physically painful.”

As a matter of fact, Rin had experience many awkward silences with Haru. Although, he’d never felt the need to slander one of his friends to alleviate it.

“Hey,” Kisumi blurted suddenly. “I wonder if that’d still work…?” He grinned maliciously at Rin. “You’d better be extra nice to me, or I’m gonna start dipping into my arsenal again. Huh… If I recall correctly, _fourth_ grade was not an excellent year for you…I could probably scrounge up a few anecdotes.”

Rin rolled his eyes. “Yes, and I’m sure my nine-year-old self would be terrified. My nineteen-year-old-self, on the other hand, not so much.”

“You’re no fun,” Kisumi pouted. “Eh, whatever. Sousuke probably has way better stories than me, anyway. Maybe I’ll give him a call.”

Rin had been laughing to himself, but he immediately sobered at the mention of Sousuke’s name. “…Oh,” he said hesitantly. “How is Sousuke? Have you talked to him recently?”

“Hmm?” Kisumi looked up from the tiny pile of pulled-up grass he was making. “Yeah, about two weeks ago. Why?”

“No reason. He doing well?”

“You mean with school?” Kisumi asked suspiciously. That _wasn’t_ what Rin had meant—he’d meant more in _general_ —but he nodded anyway. “Yup. A little _too_ well, if you ask me. He’s gotten really into those business classes of his. I swear he gets more boring every time I talk to him. Have you noticed that too?”

 _No, no I haven’t because I haven’t been talking to him!_ Rin’s brain was screaming at him. He hadn’t even known Sousuke was _taking_ business classes. What else was he doing? Was he still swimming? The last time they’d had a proper conversation—one that wasn’t about Rin’s living situation—had been sometime last year. Rin remembered that Sousuke had _mentioned_ something about trying to get back into swimming, and he could also remember encouraging him with enthusiasm And that was the last he’d heard on the subject.

He didn’t tell Kisumi any of that. Instead, he continued to probe him with casual inquiries about Sousuke’s current state and Kisumi continued answering them.

Eventually, Rin ran out of questions—just as well, since Kisumi seemed to be running out of patience—and he was forced to ask the one question whose answer he really cared about.

“So…how’s his shoulder?”

“Fine, I guess?” Kisumi replied, raising an eyebrow. “Last I heard, anyway. I mean, it’s not like he’s all that eager to talk about it.”

Rin nodded. Kisumi watched him carefully for a moment before adding, “He should be just about recovered from the surgery by now.”

“The  _what!?"_

“I knew it!” Kisumi cried, whacking a flabbergasted Rin in the arm. “You _haven’t_ been talking to him, have you? Why not!?”

“When—?” Rin barely managed to gasp out.

“Almost six months ago!”

“Why did he—? I thought they were treating his tendonitis! He was on the mend, wasn’t he?”

Kisumi gave him a strange look. “Do you know how injuries _work?_ Yeah, he was ‘on the mend’— not _mended_. He got back at it too soon and ended up tearing his rotator cuff pretty badly.”

“It was—you mean because he started swimming again?”

“Yeah…Geez, when was the last time you talked to him? Did you guys have a fight or something?”

Rin just shook his head, too distressed to give a proper answer.

 _Why_ hadn’t Sousuke told him? They had definitely talked six months ago. Rin was sure of it. At the very least, they had still been exchanging letters. And that was usually the sort of thing you told your best friend, wasn’t it?!

“...He’s fine, you know.” Rin looked up from the patch of grass he’d been staring at to see Kisumi staring at  _him_.

“What?”

“Everything’s fine,” Kisumi said. “I mean, his swimming days are over for sure, but other than that…he seems alright.”

“Good. That’s…good, I guess.”

Kisumi patted him on the back. “Try and patch things up with him, ok?”

Rin nodded, not bothering to correct Kisumi’s assumption that he and Sousuke had gotten into a fight. Mostly because he was kind of beginning to doubt himself on that.

Rin pissed people off without realizing it all the time, so maybe they _were_ fighting and he just hadn’t gotten the memo. But even if they _were_ …it still didn’t make sense. Rin could have _sworn_ they’d still been exchanging letters six months ago. And they’d talked on the phone at least twice. Sousuke could have told him. So why hadn’t he?

Kisumi seemed to realize that Rin wasn’t going to be very good company after that, so he suggested they call it a day. He retrieved his roommate’s soccer ball from the players on the field—without warning them. He just kind of walked off with it—and he and Rin headed home.

Rin tried to listen as Kisumi chattered about nothing in particular, but he was too stuck in his own head to manage much more than one word answers. They were about to part ways at Rin’s building when Kisumi called back out to him.

“Sorry, I almost forgot to give you something,” he said after Rin trudged back down the stairs to see what he wanted. He dug around in his pocket and pulled out three basketball tickets, which he handed to Rin. “First home game of the season! I figured I’d save you some money and use all my freebies in one go. Um…” He rubbed the back of his head a little awkwardly. “You’ll come, right?”

Rin found enough energy to smile at him. “Sure. Thanks a lot.”

Kisumi looked relieved. “Cool. There’s one for Rei, too. Sucks that he couldn’t hang with us today. What’d you say he was doing, again?”

“Homework,” Rin said, rolling his eyes. Rei had left for the library before Rin had even woken up. 

“Right, right. Well, that’s admirable, I guess…Oh, do me a favor and give the third ticket to Haru? He’ll probably just throw it away or eat it or something if I give it to him myself. Maybe don’t even tell him it’s from me.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Rin laughed.

“I appreciate it. Tell him Makoto’s coming, too, if you think that’ll tip the scales at all.” He started walking away, and called over his shoulder “See ya! And don’t forget to call Sousuke!”

Rin’s smile faded. He sighed to himself and went inside.

When he got down to their apartment, he was surprised to see Rei there. He was standing on a chair in front the wall lined with awning windows.

"What are you doing?” Rin asked, shutting the door. Rei turned around and Rin saw that he had an electric screwdriver in one hand and a small slab of glass in the other.

“I’m fixing the broken window,” he said cheerfully. “I finally found a store that had the right dimensions for a replacement.”

“Oh. Well, be careful.”

“I will. Anyway, where have you been?”

“Out with Kisumi,” Rin said, tossing his keys onto the kitchen counter and heading toward his room.

“Did you have fun?”

Rin answered with a subdued nod. “We’re going to his basketball game next Saturday. He got you a ticket.”

“That was nice of him.”

Rin nodded again.

“...Um, Rin-san?”

Rin paused in front of his door and gave Rei a questioning look.

"Are you...alright?” 

“I’m fine,” Rin said. Then he went into his room and closed the door.

* * *

 The week passed by slowly for Rin—probably because he spent every waking moment agonizing over Sousuke—and for once, he was grateful that Rei was almost never around. He had already noticed something was up, and Rin really didn’t feel like getting the third degree from him. He just wanted to brood in peace.

By the time Saturday rolled around, Rin had completely forgotten about Kisumi’s game. In fact, he’d been sitting at his desk, preparing for another night of hovering between his phone and his unfinished letter to Sousuke when Rei had poked his head through the hole to remind him. Rin wasn’t terribly grateful. He didn’t really want to go out. But he _had_ promised Kisumi, so he was just going to have to grin and bear it for a few hours. Then he could come home and wallow in his own misery as much he liked.

"Ready to go?” Rei asked, opening the door and startling Rin, who had edged his way back to his desk after he’d gotten dressed and was scribbling over yet another line from the rough draft of his letter. “Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai will be here soon.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he sighed. He got up and followed Rei out into the living room to wait for Haru and Makoto so they could all walk to the stadium together. It had taken some convincing to get Haru to agree to come. He’d been all set to refuse before Rei pointed out that since Kisumi had come to his art show, Haru kind of owed it to him.

“Are you ok?” Rei asked suddenly. He was standing in front of the couch, staring at Rin. “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed sort of…down this week.”

…Of course he had. When did he ever _not_ notice?

Rin offered him a reassuring smile. “I’m fine. Just been a little tired, that’s all.”

Rei didn’t look convinced, but luckily for Rin, Haru and Makoto chose that moment to knock on the door.

The sun had gone down by the time the started walking to the basketball stadium, and Rin was actually starting to buy his own lie about being tired. He trailed behind the others at a sluggish pace and practically walked into Rei, who had stopped to wait for him.

Rei looked like he had something to say, so Rin perked himself up again and beat him to the punch.

“So, you must be excited. It’s your second university event in a month!”

“I guess…” Rei said, eyeing him suspiciously. Rin chose to ignore that.

“Are you into basketball at all?”

“I don’t mind watching it, but I’ve never liked playing.”

“Really?” Rin asked, interested in spite of himself. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and sped up a tiny bit so they were walking beside each other “I loved playing it during gym class. I mean, I kinda sucked, but it was still fun. Let me guess: you’re the sort of person who can’t enjoy something unless you’re good at it, right?”

“Who said I wasn’t good at it?” Rei said. Rin raised an eyebrow. “I’m just…not a huge fan of sports that involve airborne objects flying at my face.”

That surprised a laugh out of Rin. “Right, right! Is that like a glasses thing?”

“No, it’s a _common sense_ thing.”

“Aw, did some out-of-control basketball break your glasses, Rei? Or was it a volleyball?”

Rei grunted. “…It was a tennis ball, if you must know. Same principle, though.”

Rin laughed even harder. “I bet you were that one kid in class who always runs away from the ball! No wonder you ended up doing track! Did you scream when it came near you, too?”

“You’re only laughing because it’s never happened to you before."

“Geez, Rei, why don’t you just get contacts like the rest of the world? Your mom’s an optometrist, right? I’m sure she could hook you up.”

Rei “hmphed” again, but he continued to let Rin tease him all the way to the stadium.

The arena was packed by the time they got there, but it turned out that Kisumi had gotten them excellent seats in the lower section. They’d arrived a little late—thanks to Haru dragging his feet a bit before they left Rin and Rei’s apartment—and the game started almost immediately after they sat down.

Kisumi, easily visible as one of the tallest player on the court, was looking around the crowd, and when he spotted them, his face broke into a huge smile and he waved happily. They waved back at him—Rin and Makoto each grabbing one of Haru’s wrists and _forcing_ him to—but it quickly morphed into urgent gesturing for Kisumi to pay attention to the game, since the ball had just gone whizzing by him.

Despite that, it soon became clear that Kisumi was an exceptionally talented player, which was nice for the team, but sort of exhausting for Rin, Rei, Makoto, and Haru, who just happened to be sitting in front what appeared to be Kisumi’s personal cheerleading squad. The first time Kisumi scored a point, they had been so loud that Rin had nearly fallen out of his chair. Every single time Kisumi did something even halfway impressive, they would be up and out of their seats, screaming their heads off.

By the time the game was over—their team won, 78 to 74—Rin was feeling a little more than on-edge and was entirely ready to go home.

As packed as it was, it took them a while to make their way out of the stadium. They had just gotten outside when they spotted Kisumi, who had evidently showered and dressed at the speed of light. His hair was still wet and his shirt wasn’t buttoned properly. When he saw them, he tore himself away from his fans and came running up to greet them.

“Hey! Thanks for coming, guys!”

“Congratulations,” they all said.

“Ahaha, thanks, it was nothing,” he said bashfully, and Haru rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I’m glad I caught you. Hachi Takaya—you know, the point guard with the weird hair? He's throwing a party at his dad’s townhouse. You guys are coming, right? Pleeease? I don’t wanna go by myself!”

Rin looked around at the groups of girls that were still kind of hovering around them, waiting for Kisumi to free himself up. “Yeah, I don’t think you have much to worry about.”

Kisumi rolled his eyes a tiny bit. “You know that’s not what I meant,” he said, lowering his voice.

Makoto was already edging away from them. “Sorry! I’ve got an essay to write tomorrow, so I’m going to bed early. You guys have a good time, though!”

“I’m leaving,” said Haru.

“Aw, come on!” Kisumi said, shaking his arm. “I promise it’ll be fun. Takaya’s freakin’ loaded…I wouldn’t be surprised if his place had an indoor pool or something!”

Haru hesitated. “…Only if Rin comes.”

Rin shot him a dirty look while Kisumi shot Rin a pleading one. God, he really wanted to say no. He was _so_ not in the mood for this. It wasn’t easy, though. Not with Kisumi making that face at him.

“I’ll only go if Rei goes,” Rin said, hoping Rei would have the presence of mind to come up with an excuse for both of them.

Kisumi shifted his focus to Rei, who shrugged. “I don’t mind."

“Awesome, gimme one sec!” Kisumi said, and he darted off into the crowd.

Rin turned on Haru. “What the hell do you mean,  _only if Rin comes_?!”

“He’d better not be lying about the pool,” Haru muttered.

Kisumi returned a few seconds later and dragged them over to a large group of people headed in the same direction. They began to walk up the street and Rin sighed to himself as he lagged behind. Then he elbowed Rei, who was walking beside him.

“Idiot. You weren’t supposed to say yes!”

“If you didn’t want to go, then you should have just said so,” Rei replied.

“And you _do_ wanna go?” Rin asked doubtfully.

“I’m just curious. From an anthropological perspective.

“Whatever. Let’s not stay too long, ok?”

Rei nodded and Rin looked him up and down. “Hold still for a sec,” he said suddenly.

“Wha—Hey!” Rei protested as Rin untucked his shirt and unbuttoned his cardigan.

“Honestly, why do you always button it all the way up?” he murmured as he proceeded to pop the first few buttons of Rei’s shirt. “I feel like I’m suffocating just looking at you! You know, I wouldn’t have to do this if you’d just wear the clothes I got you.”

“I told you, as soon as I figure out where you hid the receipts, I’m returning them…Are you quite finished?” Rei added impatiently as Rin adjusted his collar.

“Not yet,” Rin said. He mussed up Rei’s hair a bit and stepped back. “Alright, that’s better. Now I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you.”

“That’s not very nice,” Rei told him. They started walking again—the crowd they were following was ahead of them now, but still visible—and Rin took a moment to admire his handy work.

He wasn’t really sure what had possessed him to put his hands all over Rei and mess his clothes up, but he definitely didn’t regret it. He’d done an excellent job. And Rei pulled off the artfully disheveled look very well.

They kept walking for about ten minutes and eventually crossed over into the financial district. The buildings started getting progressively larger and nicer. Rin realized that whoever the Takayas were, they must have been pretty wealthy, just like Kisumi had said.

He caught up to Kisumi, who was talking animatedly to Haru, and asked, “What does this Takaya guy’s dad do, exactly?”

“Um, I think he owns some big deal publishing firm. Something like that.”

“Oh,” Rei said. “It’s not Kuroda-Takaya Incorporated, is it?”

“Um…I’m thinking that’s a definite possibility.”

“Do you know them?” Haru asked Rei.

“Yes! Their education division printed a lot of the textbooks I’m using!”

“Why do you sound so excited?” Rin muttered.

“They’re very well-edited!”

“God, you’re such a—”

“Well, I think that's nice!” Kisumi cut in. “You should leave a note on the fridge telling Takaya-san that you appreciate his work, Rei. Maybe it’ll make up for the fact that his house is about to get trashed."

They turned a corner and found themselves on a block of large, modern-looking townhouses. It was easy to tell which one they were heading for. The music was audible even from a distance, and the bass was so loud that the windows were vibrating.

"How has this not been shut down yet?” Haru asked as they approached their destination.

“I doubt any of the neighbors are home,” Kisumi said. “It’s the middle of summer. They’re probably all in Okinawa or something.”

The door was already wide open, so everyone who had been walking from the basketball stadium filed in and dispersed. It was dark inside, so it was hard to tell, but Rin figured they were in some kind of foyer. It was a large, spacious area, but that didn’t much matter given how packed the place was. It was kind of suffocating. They could barely fight their way through all the groups of people standing around talking, drinking, and smoking—which Rin really wasn’t too crazy about. _This has to be some sort of fire code violation_ , he thought in annoyance. They were over the occupancy limit by at least a hundred.

Eventually, they were able to get out of the hallway, pass a large staircase, and enter an open loft area. The music had gotten louder as they traveled deeper into the house, and now Rin could see that there was a set of speakers set up in one corner and all the furniture had been pushed to the side to convert the center of the room into a dance floor. There were so many people packed onto it that they were spilling out onto the large terrace patio outside. The only source of light was coming from the kitchen on the other side of the room.

“I heard Hachi bought so much beer that he had to get a permit to transport it all!” Kisumi said in Rin’s ear as edged their way around the room. “I’m gonna go take a look at the inventory! Do you guys want me to get you something?”

Rin and Rei shook their heads and watched as Kisumi headed toward the kitchen with Haru trailing behind him. Rin, who was already getting a headache, gave Rei a pained look. “So. What do you wanna do?”

“I don’t know. Circulate, I guess.”

“Yeah…ok.” Rin nodded. To be perfectly honest, he was feeling a little out of his depth here. He had never actually been to one of these things before. Not that he’d ever let Rei know that. It wasn’t as though he’d never had the chance—he’d been invited to a few last year—but Haru had never been interested in going and Rin had never been interested in going without Haru, so he’d passed every time. But now he was sort of wishing he hadn’t. Rei was probably expecting him to lead the way or something, but Rin had absolutely no idea what he was doing. Plus…he wasn’t exactly in a very good frame of mind for this sort of thing at the moment. What he really wanted was to be at home.

Fortunately, Rin and Rei didn’t have to circulate long before they both ran into acquaintances of theirs. _Unfortunately_ , that meant that they were soon separated from each other as they were drawn into two different groups.

For the next half hour, Rin was forced to maintain friendly conversation with some guys from the swim team in a corner of the room. But even though they were far away from the speakers, the music was still extremely loud, and that made it a little difficult to stay engaged. Eventually, a few girls came up to them and invited them to dance, but Rin hung back, saying he needed to find someone.

Before he could get very far, there was some big commotion over the fact that Hachi had apparently found the key to his dad’s liquor cabinet. Rin hastened out of the room before a mob formed to get to the large, well stocked bar on the other side of the makeshift dancefloor.

He found Rei in one of the crowded sitting rooms. But he was busy talking to people, so Rin decided not to bother him. There were, he noted as he turned and left the room to go find Haru instead, quite a few girls in that circle of people. Rin smirked and congratulated himself on granting Rei his popularity. It really was amazing the difference undoing a few buttons could make. It did wonders for accentuating the long line of his throat. He should let Rin style him more often. 

The loft was possibly even more crowded when Rin wandered back into it. He looked around for a moment and realized why: a large, rather orderly line had formed in front of the bar. Rin was somewhat surprised. He had expected an unruly swarm. There also seemed to be someone _manning_ the bar…

…And upon closer inspection, it appeared to be Kisumi.

“Ah! Rin!” he called out when he spotted him lurking on the outskirts of the line. “Come over here!”

Rin picked his way to the bar, ignoring the people grumbling about him “cutting.”

“What the hell are you doing?”

“My civic duty,” Kisumi said solemnly as he poured something into a plastic cup. He picked up a bottle of rum and shoved it in Rin’s face. “Look at this! This was imported from Trinidad!” He put that bottle down and picked up another. “And this! This whiskey—there’s only sixty-nine known bottles in the _entire world._ I don’t think there’s anything back here that’s valued under fifteen thousand yen. I couldn’t just stand back and let these degenerates guzzle it all willy-nilly! Someone has to supervise!”

He finished off the drink he was work on and handed it over to the person waiting in line for it. The next person stepped up. “I want—”

Kisumi held up a hand. “You’ll get what I give you."

“…You’ve got some weird hobbies,” Rin said as he watched Kisumi work.

“It’s not my hobby, it’s my job. My cousin lets me bartend at her restaurant whenever I need extra cash. The tips are _amazing_.”

“Aren’t you underage?”

“Just for two more months,” Kisumi said with a shrug. “Don’t tattle on me, ok?”

Rin nodded and that was when he noticed a small bowl full of money on sitting on the side of the bar. “You set up a tip jar!?”

“It’s not for me!” Kisumi said hastily. “I’m planning to leave it somewhere for Takaya-san. You know, like a reparation.” He shook his head sadly. “Poor guy. It’s not _his_ fault his son is out of control.”

“It probably is, actually,” Rin said.

Kisumi laughed and handed another drink over. “Gimme five minutes!” he called to the rest of the people in line.” Then he turned to Rin. “Want me to make you something? I’ll let you have a say in what goes in it.”

Rin shook his head. “I’ll pass.”

“Not big on alcohol?” Kisumi asked, pouring himself a shot of the sixty-nine-bottle-whiskey.

“I guess not,” Rin said.

The first and only time he had ever drunk was when he was fifteen and still living in Australia. Russell and Lori had been having a barbecue with all their friends, and Russell had slipped him a bottle of beer with a wink and a whispered “Don’t tell Lori.” Out of politeness and a strong desire not to be the only one sober at a party full of tipsy adults, Rin had downed the entire thing in one go, since he didn’t know any better. He’d gotten sickeningly drunk, slammed into a sliding glass door, and thrown up into a potted plant.

Thanks to that…it wasn’t as though he _disliked_ alcohol. He just had kind of an aversion to it.

“Suit yourself,” Kisumi said. He threw back his shot as Rin settled himself on top of the bar. “…Oh, geez. I know that face.”

“What face?” Rin mumbled.

“That ‘please don’t ask me what my problem is’ face,” Kisumi replied. “So, what’s your problem?”

Rin frowned at him.

“Come on, I’m a _bartender_. Half my job is pouring stuff and the other half is listening to people gripe about their lives. So get on with it. I won’t even make you tip me.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Rin sighed. “I was wondering. Did…did Sousuke ever mention me when you two were at school together?”

Kisumi’s face fell. “Oh. This again?” He gave some sort of signal to the people still standing in line and resumed making drinks.

“ _Yes_ , this again! Answer the question!”

“Look, Rin, I don’t really know what you want me to say. He never acted like he was mad at you, if that’s what you mean.”

Rin felt like he was using some kind of finicky search engine. “Ok, but I mean...” he tried again, “Like, did he ever mention me in relation to…swimming? Or his shoulder, or something?”

Kisumi ceased his activity for a moment and thought about it. “Umm…I guess he _might_ have? I mean…I always figured the reason he was so eager to start swimming again was so he could go to the Olympics with you. He probably said something like that at some point.”

Rin’s heart plummeted. That was what he’d been afraid of.

“Hey,” Kisumi said, sounding a little uneasy. “Are you _sure_ you don’t want a drink?”

“I’m sure,” Rin said, sliding off the bar. He was suddenly feeling a little…overwhelmed. There were too many people in here. He wanted to be alone. “Any idea where the bathroom is?”

“Try upstairs. The one down here probably has a line.”

Rin went back to the foyer where he remembered seeing a set of stairs, zigzagging between the multitudes of people. He spotted Rei again and briefly entertained the idea of asking if he wouldn’t mind going home now. But before he made up his mind, Rei caught sight of him over the heads of the of people separating them. He smiled at Rin and lifted his hand in greeting.

…He looked like he was enjoying himself, so Rin decided to stay a while longer for his sake.

He spent a few more moments staring at him, impressed and a little bummed that Rei seemed to be so much more adept at the whole ‘partying’ thing than he was. But whatever. Rei worked hard. He deserved to have fun. And it wasn’t really all that surprising he was doing so well. He looked good. Really good, actually. Seriously… had his neck always been that long? Rin supposed it must have, but either way...He really ought to consider wearing his shirts like that all the time.

Rin managed to tear his eyes away from Rei, and eventually made it upstairs. It was only slightly less congested here than it was downstairs. It was also a bit more difficult to navigate, since there was less space. Rin weaved his way through people, trying to avoid the couples making out against the walls and the guys getting stoned on the landing.

It took him a whole lot of trial and error—consisting mostly of him poking his head into random rooms that usually turned out to be bedrooms, and hastily backing away when he found that they were occupied—but Rin finally managed to find an empty bathroom.

He shut the door and locked it, then sank down onto the closed toilet seat with an exhausted sigh. His reprieve was short lived, however, because at that very moment, the shower curtain was whipped back, scaring the absolute shit out of Rin and revealing an inquisitive-looking Haru.

“Huh. I was right. I _thought_ I sensed your negativity,” Haru said.

“What the hell are you doing?” Rin asked, not even all that surprised to see him there at this point.

“What does it look like?”

It looked like he was lounging fully clothed in a large, empty bathtub. He had his sketch book propped open and a case of pens sticking out of his messenger bag.

“…You’re not running the water?”

Haru shrugged. “It’s not my house,” he said, lifting up a plastic cup of something or other and taking a swig.

“Wow. That’s pretty mature of you. This is still weird, though. How many other people have come in besides me?”

“Not that many. I revealed myself every time, but most of them were too drunk to care. Except this one couple that was about to have sex on the counter. They left pretty quickly.”

Rin laughed and his eyes fell on Haru’s sketchbook again. “Hey, can I look at that?” he asked.

Haru handed it over and began complaining about how Kisumi had been wrong about there being a pool here. Rin listened to him sympathetically as he flipped through the book.

It was full of of random people and things, as well as some drawings of Makoto, Nagisa, Rei, himself, and even a few of Kisumi. They were all quite detailed for sketches. Eventually, Rin got to the more recent ones, including the one Haru had been working on when Rin had come into the bathroom. It depicted some sort of mountainous landscape.

“What’s this for,” he asked, holding up the page.

“Nothing, yet,” Haru said, and Rin waited for him to explain. “…It _might_ be for a play. Backgrounds and stuff. The theater department is putting on this big student-run production in a few months, and if they like my designs, I’ll get to be in charge of scenery.”

“Oh,” Rin said, nodding slowly. “Well. That’s...really great….” He almost said more, but hesitated.

“What?" Haru asked flatly.

“Nothing…” Rin shook his head. “It just sounds… time consuming.”

Haru raised an eyebrow. “What’s your point?”

Rin wondered if Haru actually wanted to go there. Rin knew _he_ certainly didn’t want to, but they were already heading in that direction, so he might as well see it through. “Well,” he said carefully, “I just mean…it sounds like you’re going to have a lot on your plate. You know, with that _on top_ of swimming. Are you sure can—”

“I already talked to my advisor about it,” Haru said.

“You did _what_?!” Rin cried, as though Haru had just admitted to consorting with the devil as opposed to a member of the university faculty.

“I talked to my advisor,” Haru repeated calmly. “And she thinks it’s a good idea.”

“…I see.”

“Is there a problem?”

Rin knew better than to answer that. He wasn’t about to pick another fight with Haru. He _knew_ better than to answer that. But for some reason…he did anyway.

“No. I just…I didn’t know you were that into the whole _art-_ thing.”

Haru stared at him for a moment, Rin’s heart nearly stopped when he realized that he actually looked a little hurt…in his own, Haru-ish way. But before Rin could back track and try to fix whatever it was he’d fucked up, Haru spoke.

“This might come as news to you, Rin, but there are probably a lot of things you don’t know about your friends. You might want to start paying better attention.”

Rin couldn’t respond to that—didn’t know _how_ to respond to that. So he didn’t. He made up some excuse and left the bathroom. His feet carried him back through the hall, down the stairs, and all the way to the bar.

Because all of a sudden, he was feeling like a very much out of place fifteen-year-old again.

Kisumi was still there, right where he’d left him. Rin cut the entire line and marched right up to him. “Kisumi!” he barked. “Give me something to drink!’

Kisumi blinked at him. “Huh? But I thought you didn’t—”

“Well, now I do.” Rin dug around in his pocket and came up with a few coins, which he tossed into the tip bowl. “There. What’ll that get me?”

“My spit in your eye,” Kisumi said. Rin glared at him. “I was kidding, geez. But seriously—why the sudden change? Your trip to the bathroom not go well?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Rin muttered, glancing away.

“Alright.” Kisumi selected a bottle from the extensive collection lining the shelves behind him and poured it into one of the cheap plastic cups. He presented it to Rin with a flourish. “There you be. Kir straight up with a twist. Or at least there _would_ be a twist if I could get my hands on a lemon peel…”

“What am I, a middle aged woman?!” Rin snapped. “I’m not drinking that! Give me something that’ll actually have an _effect_!”

“Nobody appreciates artistry anymore,” Kisumi sighed. He jerked his thumb toward the kitchen. “There’s a shitload of beer back there. That’s probably more up your alley.”

Rin huffed and went into to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from one of the many cases stacked in a pyramid on the floor. He popped it open and started drinking. It was horrible and disgusting, just like he remembered it, but Rin was determined.

 _I wonder where Rei is,_ he thought, trying to take his mind off the taste. He decided to go look for him, figuring that it would probably be a little pathetic to get himself hammered all alone in the kitchen. So he snagged another beer for the road and went back into the loft, where the party was still very much in swing.

Rin wandered around the perimeter for a while, sipping his beer—occassionally gulping because that was just how it ended up sometimes—and keeping an eye out for Rei. He got pulled into a few conversations here and there, and he ran out of beer at some point, so he traipsed back to the kitchen to get another one, came back out, and found himself ensnared in yet _another_ conversation. How did that happen? Did he even know any of these people...?

The _thing_ about beer, Rin soon discovered, is that the more of it you drink, the better it tastes. And right now, it was quite possibly the greatest thing Rin had ever had the pleasure of putting in his mouth. His fifteen-year-old self didn’t know what he was talking about, beer was delicious. Maybe Australian beer was just inferior…

Rin began to lose track of what he was doing. He was suddenly on his fourth bottle and Kisumi was with him, shouting in his ear, grabbing his arm—No, grabbing his _beer_ , the bastard—and dragging him onto the dance floor. And then he was dancing with someone he didn’t know and it wasn’t fun at all, it was just weird and uncomfortable, so he said something about being thirsty and stumbled away. He couldn’t figure out where Kisumi had set his drink down, so he just went and got a new one, remembering that there was something he was supposed to be doing, but having difficulty recalling what it was.

He found himself back upstairs after that, tripping out of Haru’s bathroom and rubbing a painful bump on his head that he could already feel himself forgetting the origin of. He’d also left half his beer in there, but that was fine. Things were starting to get hazy now, and Rin found that he didn’t particularly like that feeling. He was probably drunk now, he figured. He could cap it at five.

Rin swayed a bit as he went down the stairs, and he clung onto the bannister for dear life the rest of the way down. Ok, maybe it was time to get some air.

Somehow—and he really _wasn’t_ sure how, seeing as he could barely see three feet in front of him, thanks to the darkness and the annoying, slightly double-vision thing he had going on—he made it through the foyer, past the dance floor, and out onto the patio, which was exactly where he’d wanted to go. Good for him.

It was significantly less crowded out here. For the first time in nearly two hours, Rin’s personal space wasn’t being invaded—accidentally or otherwise—and he found that it helped clear his head a bit. Rin teetered over to the nearest wall, narrowly avoiding some inconvenient patio furniture, and slid down until he was sitting on the ground. He’d done that on purpose. He could get up any time he wanted.

His head was still pounding, which wasn’t ideal, but at least it was quieter out here. Besides, this was what he’d wanted, right? The pounding head, the dulled senses, the impaired memory? Why had he wanted that, again…? He couldn’t actually remember...

Rin started laughing.

The night air was doing its job, and he found it a little easier to focus on his surroundings now as he sat back against the wall. The patio was slightly elevated and overlooked the city. There were a few people draped over various pieces of furniture or leaning against the railing, nursing cigarettes. It was much quieter out here, although Rin could still feel the music through the wall. It was sort of relaxing. Rin felt like he could almost fall asleep here…

…If it weren’t for the light from that single lamp or tiki torch or whatever, shining in the corner of his eye. It was sort of dim—not really shining so much as glowing—but it was there and it was annoying.

Rin shut one eye and turned his head toward the source, biting his lip. Someone was sitting in one of the cushy patio chairs several feet to his right. The chair was was almost up against the wall and it had clearly been dragged there, away from where the rest of the furniture was arranged. And Rin figured out why when he saw that the lamp—it was definitely a floor lamp, not something that actually belonged outside—was plugged into an outlet built into the wall.

And whoever was sitting in the chair was using the light provided to read a clunky, heavy-looking…book.

Rin tasted blood all of a sudden and realized he'd bitten his lip much too hard. Because he _knew_ who that was. Feeble though the lighting was, Rin would have recognized those glasses—and that… _really_ fantastic jawline—anywhere. He began crawling over to them.

"Heeey!” Rin blurted when he finally made it to the chair, wincing when his voice sounded a little loud to his own ears. He grabbed onto the armrest and tried to hoist himself up, found that was a little difficult, and decided to stay on the floor. “I’ve been lookin’ all over for you!”

Rei tore his eyes away from the book he had open on his lap and turned his attention to Rin, who was still clinging onto the side of his chair. “…Why is your lip bleeding?” he asked after blinking down at him for a moment.

“Oh.” Rin brought his hand up to his mouth and dabbed at it. “Don’ worry about it. Tha’s just a thing that happens…Anyway, what the hell’re you doin’ out here?”

“I’m reading, obviously,” Rei said. “This is the only place quiet enough.”

“Yeah, but _why_?” Rin asked, smacking the cover of Rei’s book. “Wha’ book issat?”

“Thematerialcultureofsubatomicphysics,” Rei slurred. Which seemed to really confuse him. His brow furrowed and he tried again. “I mean, _The Material Culture of Subatomic Physics_ ,” he said, going slow and enunciating. He gave Rin a triumphant smile. “It’s a new text that hasn’t been published yet. I found an advanced copy on one of the bookshelves! Isn’t that great?”

Rin was laughing at him too hard to answer.

Rei frowned. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, my God!” Rin cackled, finally managing to claw his way to his feet. He stood over Rei, clutching his sides and howling. “You’re so—! I jus’—! Here I was, thinkin’ you were all cool ‘cause you were _sooooo_ good at partying—But you’re not! You’re actually the worst!”

“You’re being awfully rude to me tonight,” Rei complained.

Rin collapsed onto the arm of Rei’s chair, gasping for breath. “Pfft—sorry!” he was finally able to force out as he wiped a tear away from his eye. “S’ jus’ funny! I mean, ya even brought your own light source!”

“I was going to put it back when I was done,” Rei said, apparently thinking Rin was reprimanding him. “I tried using my phone for a while, but it started losing battery. And I figured it’d ruin the ambiance if I turned the patio light on. But I was considerate about it! Look, I even put my sweater over it so it wouldn’t be too bright.”

Rin glanced up at the lampshade, over which Rei had draped his cardigan in order to dim the light. “Tha's bad for your eyes,” he admonished. “S’ also a fire hazard, ‘m pretty sure.”

“This entire place is a fire hazard,” Rei scoffed, turning back to his book and flipping a page. “It’s over the occupancy limit by about a hundred.”

“That's what I thought, too!” Rin gasped excitedly. A little too excitedly. He ended up losing his  precarious balance on the armrest and probably would have gone toppling to the floor if Rei hadn't grabbed his arm in time. Actually, he still ended up toppling over, but it was onto Rei lap instead.

“Sorry,” Rin said, holding onto Rei’s shoulders as tried to seat himself in a way that was more comfortable for both of them. All the blood had rushed to his head when he’d nearly fallen to the ground and he was a little dizzy. “Um, ‘s it ok if I chill here for a sec?”

“It's fine,” Rei said, winding an arm around Rin’s waist—probably to make sure he didn’t fall over again. “Just don’t make too much noise.” He used his other hand to hold the book up in front of him and continued reading over Rin’s shoulder.

Rin nodded. With Rei’s arm holding him in place, he felt stable enough to relinquish his grip on his shirt.

“…Ya know, you really are the bigges’ nerd," Rin said after a while. "Wha’ kinda person ditches a house party to read a textbook? Seriously, you’re so boring, I can’ even believe.”

“Mhm,” Rei said absently. He rested the open book on his knee and reached down to retrieve a plastic cup from the floor beside his chair. He maneuvered it around Rin and brought it up to his lips

“Wha's in the cup?”

“I’m not sure,” Rei replied, putting it back down and picking up the book again. “Kisumi-san keeps bringing them out to me. At first I was only drinking them to be polite, but they’re actually not bad.”

“Oh…” Rin nodded, and began drumming his fingers along Rei’s shoulder for lack of anything better to do. Rin felt…nice. Kinda weird, but…nice. It was probably because there was so much more air out here. And even though it was a little chilly out, Rei was very warm. “…Wait, does that mean you’re drunk?”

Rei shook his head. “I’m…’pleasantly buzzed,’ I believe the term is.”

Rin laughed. “Whatever. You’re still boring… _Super_ boring. Like…I jus’ don’ even get how someone who’s bes' friends with Nagisa could be so boring.”

“It’s probably because Nagisa-kun _doesn’t_ think I’m boring.”

"I guess that mus' be it,” Rin agreed. He fiddled a bit with the top buttons of Rei’s shirt. Then something occurred to him and he paused. “Say…if you…say you had to have your arm amputated, like, tomorrow—who would you tell first?”

“Why would I have to have my arm amputated?” Rei asked, turning another page in his book.

“Jus' because. Answer the question.”

“But I need context. What happened to my arm? Was there an accident?”

“‘S hythopetical. I mean hypothetical. Jus’ gimme an answer.”

“Arbitrary amputations are not a—”

“ _Fine._ You annoyed me, I _bit_ you, it got infected, and you’re gonna die unless they chop your arm off. Now who do you tell first!?”

“My parents. And then my insurance provider.”

“An' then?”

“…Well, then I suppose it would be…Nagisa-kun?”

“...Right,” said Rin. “Tha’s what I thought because…he’s your bes’ friend, right? Tha’s the sorta thing you tell your bes’ friend, right?”

“I guess?” Rei said. “Now, are there any more questions? I want to at least get through this chapter before we leave.” He turned his head to look uncertainly at Rin for a moment, and when Rin didn’t say anything else, he went back to reading.

“…Hey,” Rin said a few minutes later. He’d begun playing with Rei’s collar, tugging it up, then folding it back down. “…Have you told Nagisa about your…school troubles?”

“I’m not having school troubles,” Rei said pointedly. “But...no, I haven’t. I wouldn’t want to worry him with that sort of thing. Besides, I don’t think he’d quite…understand. His parents are very different from mine.”

Rin frowned, leaning a little more heavily on Rei. “But…you told _me_.”

Rei let out a short laugh. Rin felt it in every place they were pressed together. “Only because you forced it out of me.”

Rin winced. That was true, wasn’t it? Rin _had_ forced Rei to tell him. Just like he’d forced Sousuke to tell him about his shoulder two years ago. Neither of them had been planning on telling him a damn thing, so he’d forced it out of them.

No one ever told him _anything_ unless he forced it out of them.

“I—” _I’m sorry_ , was what he’d been going to say, but came out as, “I…suck.”

“No, you don’t,” Rei said kindly, using the arm he still had around Rin’s waist to give him a gentle pat somewhere near his hip. “You just…care a lot.”

Rin didn’t know what that meant, but it did make him feel a tiny bit better for some reason. He smiled a kind of wobbly smile and rested his head on Rei’s shoulder, letting his eyes slide shut, just like he’d kind of been wanting to do for a while now. He felt all sloshy and warm from whatever was currently making its way through his bloodstream. The music inside was still blasting, but it kind of felt like he was listening to it underwater.

Rei made a very good chair, Rin decided as he adjusted his position. He hitched himself up a bit and ended up with face pressed into the crook of his neck. It probably wasn’t that comfortable for Rei, but Rin figured he didn’t mind.

“…Hey,” he said sleepily, lifting his head a bit to talk.

“Hmm?”

“Is Nagisa ok? I mean, I know he’s _ok_ —but, like…how is he?”

“He’s fine,” Rei said. “His classes are challenging, but he’s enjoying them. It seems like he’s taken to living in London quite well. He really likes the food.”

“Good,” Rin said, looping his arms around Rei’s neck. “How’s his English going?”

“I think he’s…improved,” Rei said, moving his book out of the way as Rin settled himself more squarely in his lap. He seemed to be accommodating every adjustment Rin made with adjustments of his own. “He told me the other day that he can finally navigate the subway system on his own. It’s a very exciting development.”

Rin laughed. His breath hit the exposed skin of Rei’s throat, and Rei jumped slightly.

“How often do you guys talk?”

“O-once a week,” Rei said, looking off to to one side. “We...usually video chat.”

“Nice.” Rin smiled. “Tha’s really…nice. I should do tha’ too.”

“I can…give you his username…if you want…” Rei said as Rin shifted around again.

Rin nodded into Rei's collarbone, wondering if Sousuke had a username too.

“...Do you miss him?"

“I do,” Rei said. So quietly that Rin probably wouldn't have heard him if he hadn't been so incredibly _close._ And even through the haze of alcohol, he could recognize the  sadness in Rei's voice.

“He’ll be back soon,” Rin murmured against the base of Rei’s neck, right where his shirt opened up. He felt Rei go still beneath him. Curious, Rin trailed his lips up a bit higher.

Rei’s skin was warm. Probably because Rin had been breathing on it, which was kind of gross, but also kind of…not. He could feel Rei’s pulse thrumming wildly in his throat, and it sped up even more when Rin placed his lips over it, parting them experimentally.

Rei’s breathing hitched. Rin moved on to another spot. He slid one of the hands that had been gripping the back of Rei’s shirt down his arm while the other tugged his collar aside, exposing more of his throat.

“Rin…s-san,” Rei said softly, a little unsteadily.“Are you, um…” Rin squeezed his forearm lightly to show that he was listening, but Rei didn’t finish. Rin took that as a go-ahead to keep doing what he was doing.

He continued kissing his way up Rei’s neck, lingering at some spots longer than others. It was clumsy and kind of wet, but…it felt nice. And Rei didn’t seem to mind...

...Not even when Rin accidentally bit him.

He’d been concentrating on the soft patch of skin beneath Rei’s ear when it happened. He honestly hadn’t meant to, but the hand Rei had been resting on his hip had begun to venture underneath his shirt. The sensation of Rei’s fingertips—which were considerably icier than the rest of him—on Rin’s bare skin had surprised him enough to bite down.

Rei let out a soft, startled sound, and Rin detached himself immediately. He raised his head from Rei’s neck and looked him in the eye for the first time since he’d started doing whatever it was he’d been doing.

Rei’s expression was quite serious as he gazed back at Rin. And his eyes were—well, covered by glasses, for one thing. But other than that, his eyes were….

 _…His eyes are really pretty_ , Rin realized. It was the first time he’d ever been able to study them up close. And maybe it was just because the lighting was kinda weird, but… Rin found himself fascinated. He’d never noticed before that the outer rings of Rei’s irises were a shade darker than the rest of the eye.

Rei's mouth was relaxed. Not smiling, but not frowning either. Rin stared at it for a moment, his heart hammering against his ribs. Slowly, he began to lean forward. His eyes drifted shut…

And the next moment, it felt like the world had turned upside down. Not in the good, metaphorical sense, but in the very _literal_ sense that Rin had just been physically ejected from Rei’s lap.

When Rin opened his eyes, he was on the ground and Rei was standing over him, his chest rising and falling in rapid breaths as he pointed a shaking finger down at him.

“You’re—you’re drunk!” he cried, as though he had only just realized it. “I didn’t think—! But of _course_ you are—I mean, why else would you—”

“Yesss…” Rin said slowly, blinking up at him. “Um. How'd I get down here?”

“S-sorry,” Rei said, blushing and leaning down to help him. Rin grabbed onto both his hands and pulled himself up. Once he was on his feet, he teetered dangerously, but Rei grabbed him by the shoulders before he could fall on his face.

“How much have you had?” Rei asked urgently, holding him upright. The elevation change really hadn’t been good for Rin’s head. He could barely tell which way was up.

“Umm…Five. But I only drank six.”

Rei sighed exasperatedly. “Rin-san, you are _so..._ You know what? Never mind. Let’s just go.”

He grabbed his sweater off the lamp and headed toward the sliding door, pulling Rin along with him. Rin stumbled a bit trying to keep up.

As soon as they reentered the house, Rin felt like his head was going to explode. After being outside, all the music and people were too much. He clung desperately onto Rei’s arm as they bobbed and weaved through the crowd.

Eventually, they got themselves to the front door and Rin made it halfway down the stairs before he skipped a step. Luckily, Rei managed to catch him around the chest before he became acquainted with the ground for a second time that night.

Once they were both at least somewhat safely on the sidewalk, Rei led them back in the direction they’d come a few hours previous. And now that they were out in the open, it became clear that Rei wasn’t exactly sober himself. He was stumbling almost as much as Rin and having a rather difficult time sticking to his side of the pavement.

“Rei, d’you even know where you’re goin'?” Rin asked after he’d walked into Rei for the second time. They’d turned an unfamiliar corner and Rei had stopped in his tracks to consult his phone.

“ _Yes_ , I go where I’m knowing!” he snapped. “Just give me a moment, would you?”

They continued like this for another ten minutes and finally _—finally—_ the buildings started looking familiar.

“Look at that, Rin-san! We’re back on campus now. I told you I knew what I was doing.”

Rin heard him, but he was a little too busy throwing up into one of the public trashcans to properly congratulate him.

Between retches, he heard Rei sigh, and a moment later, he was standing behind Rin and holding his hair back for him. “Well," he said. "At least you’re getting it out of your system."

A few minutes later, Rin had lost the entire contents of his stomach and gained a newfound respect for anyone who could actually hold their liquor. He straightened up, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

“I feel so much better now!” he announced as he tried his very best not to cry. Rei wordlessly passed him his cardigan and Rin buried his face in it. “Ngh...'m really sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rei said quietly. Rin lowered the cardigan and looked at him. There were two of him. And neither one would look Rin in the eyes. Which was a shame, since Rin really, really liked looking at Rei’s.

“Hey,” Rin said through chattering teeth, stumbling toward him. Rei took an alarmed step back. “Can I ask you a question?”

“W-what is it?”

He still wouldn’t look at Rin’s face, so Rin reached out, grabbed either side of his head, and forced him to.

“Rei,” he said seriously. “Has anyone ever told you that you have… _really_...beautiful…eyes?”

Rei blushed fiercely.

And that was the last thing Rin saw as he pitched forward yet again, losing consciousness before he could find out whether or not Rei caught him this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lame cliffhanger is lame. Sorry if that ending got crackish. It's not supposed to be. Rin's in a bad way atm. But other than that...
> 
> omgomgomg im so embarrassed pls don't look at me. i have never written anything even remotely nsfw and idk if that even counts. lmao Im not gonna even try to explain myself. I just...really like rinrei.
> 
> About Rei's fam-I kind of imagine he's got the opposite problem of Nagisa. Like, his parents are too chill, so Rei's the one who has to motivate and pressure himself to do well, 'cause they're not going to. And I'm thinking his bro is one of those people who's good at everything without trying. Poor Rei feels a tiiiiinnny bit inferior.  
> And idk about Rin's mom, for my purposes, she's not totally invested in Rin's swimming career. She kinda just lets him do whatever since it was his idea.
> 
> Anyhoo
> 
> Next chapter: Rin's hangover, Rin's denial, Rei's hickeys, Haru's birthday, and a visitor.
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Rei attempt to put their lives back together while everyone watches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol remember when I said I wasn't gonna take as long to post? 
> 
> Well, I'm really, really sorry. I didn't think I was lying at the time. Oh, well. Just know that this thing will continue to update roughly once a month or so. I've got the whole thing planned, don't worry.
> 
> Also, this is the first chapter edited by the fantastic  
> [Makariaarts](http://makariaartsabout.tumblr.com)
> 
> If this chapter seems a lot more grammatically correct and coherent, it's all thanks to her. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the aftermath.............

There was something dripping on him.

There was something wet and weirdly lukewarm dripping onto his face from above, and he had no idea what it was.

That was Rin’s first thought when he woke up.

He grimaced and turned his head away from the source, prompting his second thought of the day: _Owowowow_.

His head _hurt_. Why did his head hurt? He couldn’t recall spending the night banging it against a wall, but that was what it sure felt like.

Gritting his teeth, Rin attempted to open his eyes—a feat easier said than done. Whereas his head felt like it was in danger of parting company with his neck and floating to the ceiling, his eyelids felt like they had lead weights attached to them.

Eventually, he managed to crack them open enough to let in a little light. Which turned out to be a bad idea. Wherever he was, it was much, much too bright. Almost blinding, really. Rin blinked blearily as his eyes adjusted, and it wasn’t until another dollop of _something_ plopped down onto his cheek that Rin realized that there was a tall figure looming over him. And…dribbling toothpaste on him.

“Morning, sunshine!” Mikoshiba boomed, not bothering to take his toothbrush out of his mouth.

Rin squinted helplessly up at him. “…Captain? What…are you doing here?”

“Oh my God, that’s adorable,” Mikoshiba chuckled, spraying even more toothpaste down on Rin. “Fast forward a few years, Matsuoka. Try to remember.”

Growing more and more confused by the second, Rin sat up slowly, wincing at the way the action sent his brain careening into his skull, and looked around.

…He was in a bedroom, but definitely not his own. He looked back up at Mikoshiba, apprehension—or possibly nausea—twisting up his stomach. “What…happened?”

Mikoshiba raised a finger. “Hold that thought,” he said, and he turned his back on Rin and went into the bathroom adjoining his room.

As he listened to the sounds of spitting and gargling coming from the door Mikoshiba had left slightly ajar, Rin took a moment to nervously survey his surroundings. He was splayed out in the middle of a futon on the floor, next to Mikoshiba’s bed. There were motivational posters on the walls (not helpful in the least) and a half-dead potted plant on the windowsill—which Rin found himself sympathizing with quite a bit.

He had a very bad feeling about all this, and it wasn’t just stemming from the fact that everything from his stomach up was in acute pain.

Rin tried to collect his thoughts, regroup a little— _figure out what the hell he was doing in Seijuurou Mikoshiba’s bedroom_ —but that proved too great a mental feat for him to muster. The most he could come up with were a few disjointed fragments: going to Kisumi’s basketball game…Kisumi inviting them to a party…Rin was sensing a pattern here. Whatever this was, it must have been Kisumi’s fault.

As Rin was struggling to string the events of last night—the ones he could remember, at least—together, Mikoshiba came out of the bathroom and settled cross-legged on his bed.

“So?” he prompted, eyebrows raised. “Anything coming back to you?”

Rin brought a shaky hand to his face and swiped some hair away from his eyes. “Um. Kind of…” he rasped. “I don’t remember _you_ being involved, though. How did I end up here?”

“It’s kind of a funny story, actually!” Mikoshiba said gamely. “I was coming down the stairs to do some laundry last night around one in the morning—that’s the best time to do laundry, by the way, one in the morning, especially if you want the dryer with the working buttons—and I _just so happened_ to run into Ryugazaki-kun in the lobby.”

“And where was I…?” Rin inquired. And it was as though the words had flipped some kind of switch; Mikoshiba’s grin immediately disappeared and was replaced with a stern line of unmistakable anger.

“Slung over his shoulder like the sack of idiot-potatoes you are.”

He reached out and flicked Rin right between the eyes. Rin cried out and nearly doubled over, his new hypersensitivity making the attack far more painful than it should have been.

“Oww! _Why_ —?”

“That poor guy had to haul your ass for four blocks! He was practically crying by the time I ran into him. You seriously freaked him out—I think he thought you were dying or something. Anyway, once he calmed down enough for me to work out what happened, I offered to take you off his hands for the night.”

He crossed his arms and glared down at Rin like a disappointed parent. It really was terrifying how he could go from lighthearted to dead serious in the blink of an eye.

Rin just sat there, trying to decide how he felt about this information, but Mikoshiba did not allow him much time to dwell on it.

“Well?” he said impatiently. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I can’t believe he ditched me with you,” Rin muttered sullenly. “I mean, if he was _that_ worried, he should have taken me to the hospital.”

They probably would have been nicer to him there.

Mikoshiba flicked him in the forehead again. “You’d better thank your lucky stars he didn’t. In case I need to remind you, you’re still _underaged_. It’s bad enough that you managed to knock yourself out, but if you had gotten alcohol poisoning or some shit, there’s no way word wouldn’t have gotten back to the administration. And if that had happened, you can bet your ass you would have been suspended from the team. At the very _least_.” He broke off, shaking his head in exasperation. “Honestly, Matsuoka, I thought you had more common sense than that.”

Rin was a tiny bit stunned. Mostly because he had no memory of getting drunk in the first place. It just didn’t sound like something he would do…Except he _had_ done it. The massive hangover—which he now realized was what this allover body-ache actually _was_ —seemed pretty indicative of that.

But still. It kind of felt like he was getting in trouble for something somebody else did.

“It’s not like I was the only one,” he argued halfheartedly, looking down at the blanket pooled around his waist. “There were a ton of guys from the team doing the same thing.”

“Maybe there were,” Mikoshiba replied. “But they aren’t under the same amount of scrutiny. They’re not the ones trying to make a name for themselves. _You_ are.”

Rin’s stomach clenched in a way that had nothing to do with the hangover.

Mikoshiba was right. He was absolutely right.

The remorse that followed this realization must have shown on his face because when he looked back up, Mikoshiba had dropped the fierce glare in favor of a softer, slightly more understanding expression.

“Look, Matsuoka, I’m not trying to kill your youth here. But as a budding pro, you _are_ bound by certain restrictions. Just keep that in mind. It’s fine to let loose every now and then—but don’t be an idiot about it. I wouldn’t want you to destroy your reputation before you’ve even finished building it.”

Rin nodded shamefacedly. “Yeah, I—I know.”

God, he was so stupid. How could he have gotten himself drunk to the point of passing out without even sparing one thought for the potential consequences? Rin was an _athlete_. He couldn’t afford to fuck around like that…No matter what personal demons happened to be plaguing him.

Because _yeah_ …that whole Sousuke-business was starting to come back to him, all wrapped up in a package with the words _Cause of Binge_ printed on the side.

Rin was pretty sure he’d hit rock bottom. Face first.

Mikoshiba, who had been watching Rin stew in his own guilt, suddenly leaned forward.

“MATSUOKA!” he blurted right in Rin’s ear, and Rin jerked away from him, clutching is head in agony.

“ _What_?!”

Mikoshiba smiled sunnily at him. “Make sure you stay hydrated.”

“…I’m gonna go now,” Rin said, cautiously lowering his hands. He tried and failed to stand up a few times. The intense pain in his head and the blanket he’d tangled around himself in his sleep weren’t doing him any favors. Neither was Mikoshiba, for that matter. He just sat there, enjoying the show.

Eventually he was able to stumble his way out of Mikoshiba’s apartment and into the hallway. And now that he was no longer horizontal, Rin was experiencing the full effects of his night of…questionable choices.

And Rin wasn’t an expert or anything, but he felt safe in saying it was a _high quality_ hangover—a hangover with a pedigree. He hoped he’d at least had fun earning it.

When Rin got to the stairs, he stopped and stared down at them for a moment, trying to prepare himself.

“Go on,” someone behind him said cheerfully. “I’ll try to grab you if you fall.”

Mikoshiba had followed him. And that was all the motivation Rin needed to keep moving. He went down the stairs at a speed that was probably less than advisable and attempted to lose him in the lobby.

“I can’t believe there was a party downtown and no one told me,” Mikoshiba was saying as he tailed Rin. “I’m so pissed. Do you know what I did last night? I wrote thank you notes to all my relatives for birthday presents they gave me _six months_ _ago_. I was way serious about it, too. I even looked up a template online. Did you know there’s a proper format you have to…”

Rin wasn’t listening. He was beginning to remember a few more things from last night. They were vague though, all the details scratched out. He recalled talking to Kisumi about a thing and Haru being in a bathtub and…possibly getting mad at him for something. And Rei was there at some point…

They were in Rin’s hallway now. He dug around in his pocket and pulled out his key.

“…The point is, someone could have at least texted me. I mean, I probably wouldn’t have gone, but it would have been nice to, you know, have the _option…_ ”

They stood in front of the door to his apartment, and Rin tried to open it, but he kept fumbling the key and missing the lock.

“…I’ll catch the next one for sure, though. If only to keep an eye on _you_ , Matsuoka. God knows _someone_ has to…” The key slipped again and Mikoshiba casually pushed Rin to the side and banged on the door a few times.

“…And call me sentimental, but as a senpai, it’s always been a dream of mine to preside over my junior’s very first bender. I mean, it’s such a monumental event in a young person’s life. Of course, I was planning on waiting for you to turn twenty so we could be totally legit about it, but I guess that ship has…”

The door opened and Mikoshiba trailed off.

Rei was standing there in front of them, looking tired and pale. There were dark shadows under his eyes and he was still wearing his pajamas, despite it being almost noon. In fact, it appeared as though he had just rolled out of bed.

He blinked groggily at Rin and Mikoshiba, and they just stared at him, frozen in place.

And that was because Rei’s shirt—a plain, grey V-neck that should have been completely inoffensive—was just sleep-rumpled enough to reveal a line of reddish-purplish marks. Visible even in the semi-darkness of the their perpetually badly-lit apartment.

From collarbone to jaw, one side of Rei’s neck was dotted with hickeys, and right underneath his ear was a circle of slightly redder, barely healed-over…puncture wounds.

 _Oh my God_ , Rin thought.

“Oh my God,” Mikoshiba whispered behind him.

Rei, who was beginning to wake up a bit more, looked like he wanted to say something, but Rin managed to snap himself out his petrified state and hightail it to his bedroom before he got the chance.

Never in his time here had Rin been so grateful that their apartment was the size of a post-it note. He made it into his room in three panic-fueled leaps.

After he’d slammed his door shut, the first thing Rin did was try to convince himself that he’d had _absolutely_ _nothing_ to do with it.

It could have been anyone! Rei was a very attractive person, not that Rin really considered himself an authority on such things, but if he was being completely objective about it, then yes, he could say with certainty and _without_ bias that Rei was definitely aesthetically pleasing as far as individuals with glasses go…So, _obviously_ he had admirers. It made perfect sense! He could have picked those things up from anywhere! No big deal, no big deal. _Rei’s_ business, not Rin’s…no big deal…

It wasn’t working.

Rin—see, the thing was—Rin _knew_ that bite-mark. He saw it pretty much every day at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was…fairly distinctive.

Not that this was anything new today, but Rin could not for the life of him remember _doing_ _that_. When had he even had _time_ to do that? Hadn’t he been a little busy consuming _all_ the alcohol in the district? He just couldn’t believe it. He’d ruined everything, hadn’t he? Rei must have—Oh, God—Rei probably _hated_ him now.

Why? Why, why, why had Rin done something like that? Also— _how_ had he done something like that? It should have been completely beyond him! He’d never even kissed anyone before, let alone…whatever the fuck _that_ had been.

What the hell was wrong with him?

Wishing he could shake his head clear without the danger of it exploding, Rin turned his attention to the sounds coming from outside. Mikoshiba’s voice was audible through the door. He’d apparently stuck around to talk to Rei, but Rei’s responses were too quiet for Rin to make out.

Rin opened his door a crack, and once he was sure Rei’s back was still turned to him, he silently squeezed through and headed for the bathroom. He made it there without attracting attention; although he was pretty sure Mikoshiba had seen him darting across the apartment like frightened deer.

Once he was safely inside and both doors to the bathroom were locked, Rin stripped off the clothes he’d been wearing since yesterday, turned on the shower, and stepped in without waiting for the water to warm up or the pressure to lighten. It felt like being stabbed in the back and shoulders by a frozen jackhammer, but Rin figured he was due for some corporal punishment.

Trying to waste as much time in there as possible, Rin ended up showering for twenty minutes and brushing his teeth for eight. He could have kept it up even longer than that, but his gums were starting to bleed.

Once he was sure the coast was clear, he went back into his room and crawled into bed.

Rin lay there, trying to stay very, very still because movement of any sort set off some sort of chain reaction until every joint, muscle, and nerve in his body was revolting against him. There was only one other time Rin could remember ever being in this much pain— When they were eleven, he and Sousuke had gotten in their heads to swim six kilometers in one session so they could get their names printed in some sports magazine. They swam for four hours straight and were so wrecked by the end that they were both bedridden for nearly a week after. The magazine never bothered to get back to them, but Rin had still been proud of himself regardless.

This time, however, there was absolutely no sense of accomplishment accompanying the pain—nothing to take the bite out of it. There was only shame. Complete and total shame.

And Rin knew he was probably being a bit dramatic. He wasn’t the only person in the world to have ever had a little too much to drink. There _was_ , however, probably a significantly smaller portion of those people who could also say that they… _did_ something like that to their roommate whilst under the influence.

Oh, God, now he was thinking about it again.

Rin wasn’t an idiot. He knew he had messed up big time. There was no way Rei was ever going to forgive him for this. Rei had _sensibilities_ , and Rin had gone and trampled all over them. Rei was going to freak out on him, and this time, Rin wasn’t going to be able to just write it off as his typical melodrama. He could just picture it too—Rei, practically vibrating with righteous indignation and pointing a damning finger at Rin from across the room (because in Rin’s imagination, the confrontation was taking place in an empty courthouse).

 _Rin-san!_ he would cry, _How dare you attack me, your defenseless junior! You have desecrated my beautiful, previously unmarred skin and scarred me for life, and now you must take responsibility for the physical and psychological trauma inflicted on me by your hellish incisors! You’re a menace, a complete—_

A soft knock startled Rin out his semi-hysterical fantasy, and after a moment, the door was slowly pushed open.

Rin tensed, his fingers gripping the edge of his comforter, just in case he decided to pull it over his head at the last minute. Which would be kind of cowardly, but Rin was running a little low on pride at the moment.

Rei hesitated a bit in the doorway—understandable, given the terrified gaze Rin was pinning on him—but he got over it fairly quickly and stepped into the room. He was dressed now, wearing jeans and sweatshirt. A sweatshirt that did a good job of hiding his neck, Rin realized, and he felt like weeping in relief, even though he wasn’t the one with the hickeys. He was just so happy he didn’t have to look at them.

Rin fought the urge to scramble backwards as Rei approached his bed, but it didn’t appear that Rei’s intentions were anywhere near as dangerous as Rin feared they were. All he did was set down a bottle of water and a container of aspirin on Rin’s bedside table before retreating a small distance away. Rin stared at him.

“…Um,” Rei said at length, wringing his hands. He met Rin’s eyes for a brief moment before looking back down at the floor. “How are you feeling?”

Oh. Apparently they were going to exchange pleasantries before the blowup. Well, Rei _was_ always very polite, Rin supposed.

“I’m…Well, I mean…I’ve been better.”

Rei nodded and Rin felt the need to continue. If only to delay the inevitable.

“Um. Sorry about…I heard you had to lug me back here last night.” He let out a weak chuckle. “I, uh…I don’t really remember passing out, but whatever that was about, I’m really…sorry.”

They still weren’t making eye contact, but that was Rin’s fault. He could feel his face getting hotter and hotter with every attempt to look at Rei’s face. He decided to just focus his gaze on the 2012 Summer Olympics poster a few feet above Rei’s head.

“It’s fine,” Rei said to the sleeve of his sweatshirt he was tugging on. “I’m just glad you’re doing alright. Or—well not _alright_ , I mean…I mean, you’ll probably suffer from dizziness and nausea and general discomfort for the next several hours—but um… you’re not violently ill at the moment, so that’s probably a—a good sign…”

Rin had never seen Rei have such a hard time getting words out before. That wasn’t right. If there was one thing Rei was good at, it was _talking_. He was supposed to be giving Rin the tirade of his life, not struggling to form complete sentences!

Rei risked another glance at him, but as soon as Rin met his eyes, he returned his gaze to the floor.

 _…He can’t even look at me,_ Rin realized, wave after wave of guilt washing over him. That wasn’t just the initial awkwardness. Apparently this was a _thing_ now.

Rin inhaled sharply and sat up. He wasn’t going to make Rei suffer. They might as well get this over with. Maybe start with a really, _really_ heartfelt apology. He opened his mouth, fully intending to grovel and—

“I’m, um, going out for a bit,” Rei blurted.

“…Oh.” Rin deflated a bit, that heartfelt apology still on the tip of his tongue, all dressed up and nowhere to go. “Is that right?”

Rei nodded, already backing away towards the door. “I need to do some shopping for the week. And—and you probably want to sleep, so…Um. Do you want anything?”

“How about the last twenty-four hours of my life back?”

“I, um. I meant—is there anything you want from the store?” Rei was blushing and Rin could have kicked himself. He _knew_ better than to try and make jokes when Rei was in distress.

“Yeah, um. No thanks,” he said, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes. He heard the door close gently and when he lowered his hand again, Rei was gone.

Rin flopped back down onto his pillows and just barely stopped himself from turning his head and screaming into one.

That had gone a million times worse than he’d expected. Really, it was categorically impossible for things to be any more awkward between them. Nearly four years of hard earned trust and friendship, destroyed in one night. Rin couldn’t decide whether or not it was a good thing he couldn’t remember _any_ of it.

One thing was for sure, though. Rin was _never_ drinking again.

* * *

 At some point in the midst of his self-loathing, Rin ended up dozing off for a bit, only to be awoken by an insistent pounding on the door. His first thought was that it was Rei, but he dismissed it immediately on the grounds that no matter what personal crisis he happened to be going through, Rei would never, ever forget his key.

Rin groaned and rolled off his bed, taking his blanket with him and wrapping it around his shoulders, and trudged out of the sanctuary of his bedroom to tell whoever it was to kindly go the fuck away.

Unfortunately, he was robbed of that pleasure when he swung open the door and came face to face with Haru.

“I’m here, as promised,” Haru said without preamble. He was looking bright-eyed, bushytailed, and distinctly not hung-over. “Why aren’t you dressed? It’s almost two.”

Rin blinked at him hazily. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean, ‘what am I doing here?’ We’re racing. You challenged me last night.”

“…Seriously? I don’t remember that.”

Haru frowned at him, like he thought Rin was joking. “No, you definitely did. You came bursting into the bathroom, yelling about Kisumi stealing your drink, and I said, _calm down, Rin_ , and you said, _Race me, Haru_. And then you climbed into the bathtub with me and banged your head on the faucet.”

Rin’s hand automatically went to the sore spot on the back his head he’d been wondering about since he woke up. “Oh.”

Haru nodded imperiously.

“Look,” Rin said, leaning into the doorframe. He was losing strength _fast_. “Just consider anything I said after eleven null and void. I was trashed, ok?”

“Really?” 

“You didn’t notice?”

“No, I couldn’t tell at all.” Haru shook his head in apparent wonder. “I mean, you’re always being loud and trying to get me to race you. Just seemed like business as usual.”

Rin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well…”

“…So does this mean we’re not swimming?” Haru asked after a moment.

“Do I really look like I’m capable of that at the moment?!” Rin snapped, flapping the corners of his blanket.

“I guess not,” Haru conceded, looking a bit put out. He stuck his head around the door, forcing Rin to take a step back. “Where’s Rei?”

Rin blanched. “He, uh…He went out.”

“Oh,” Haru said. “Well, if we’re not going to the pool, then I guess I’m leaving.”

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwait!” Rin cried, grabbing his arm. “Can you, like…stick around for a while?”

“Why?”

 _Because I need you to act as a buffer for when Rei gets back so it’s not just the two of us being awkward in our own home_ , Rin thought.

What he said was, “Because! Look, just do me a favor and hang out here.”

“I have errands…”

“Oh, come on! You know I never ask you to do anything for me—”

Haru raised his eyebrows.

“—You know I haven’t asked you to do anything for me _recently_ ,” Rin amended.

Haru sighed heavily and appeared to think very deeply about it.

“…Fine,” he said at last.

Rin sighed in relief and stepped aside to let Haru in. They went into the living room, where Haru sat down in front of the coffee table and Rin curled up on the couch.

“You’re not going to entertain me?” Haru said, poking him in the side.

“200 channels,” Rin said into the couch cushion. He groped around for the remote and tossed it at Haru. “Go crazy.”

Haru huffed a bit, but turned on the TV. He spent some time flipping through channels before settling on a cooking show. He quickly became absorbed in that, allowing Rin to fall asleep again.

Half an hour later, Haru shook him awake.

“What?” Rin growled.

“Sorry,” Haru said. “You were lying freakishly still. I thought you died.”

“Everything hurts if I move.”

Haru shrugged. “It’s your own fault for drinking that much.”

Rin just grimaced and rolled himself over so that he was facing the back of the couch. He heard Haru sigh and go into the kitchen.

He returned a minute later and stood over the couch, tapping Rin on the arm he’d accidentally left exposed with something cold.

“Rin. Water.”

“No thanks." Rin slid his arm under the blanket.

“You have to drink something.”

“Can’t.”

“ _Rin_ ,” Haru said again, slowly, as if he were talking to a child. “It’s _water_.”

“I _hate_ water!” Rin snapped without thinking. A second later, Haru had uncapped the bottle and upended it over him.

Rin flailed and nearly fell of the couch in his haste to get away from the cascade.

“Don’t say things like that,” Haru said reproachfully. Then he shoved the half-empty water bottle in Rin’s face, like he expected him to apologize to it.

“Haru!” Rin choked, practically in tears at this point. His head and shoulders were completely drenched. “ _Listen_ to me! I _know_ you’re probably trying to help, but what I really need you to do right now is just _sit quietly_!”

“Well if I’m not nursing you back to health, then why am I even here?” Haru snapped. He crossed his arms and eyed Rin with something like suspicion. “You’re acting weird.”

“Am not,” Rin said automatically.

There was a knock on the door.

“Is that Rei?” Haru asked. Rin shook his head.

“He wouldn’t forget his key,” he said, though he couldn’t help feeling apprehensive as he opened the door.

“Hey! How’s it going?” Kisumi chirped. Rin winced.

“Not so loud, ok?”

Kisumi’s grin widened. “Feeling some pain there? Well, you _were_ three sheets to the wind last time I saw you.”

Rin sighed, wrapping his blanket more tightly around himself. “What do you want?”

“Should I get rid of him for you?” asked Haru, who had wandered up behind him.

“No, no. He can stay.” Rin beckoned him in.

“That’s big of you,” Kisumi said drily, shutting the door behind him. “Anyway, it’s not like I’m just here to survey the damage. I come bearing supplies!”

He held up a large thermos that he’d been hiding behind his back. Rin and Haru stared at it.

“…It’s curry!” Kisumi said, like it should have been obvious. “Trust me, curry is the best hangover food. It’s got _green chili_ …” he added temptingly.

Rin’s stomach turned. He staggered back to the couch and collapsed on top of it. Kisumi laughed and settled himself down on the floor at the far end of the coffee table.

“In all seriousness, though—” He snapped his fingers in front of Rin’s face to get his attention and Rin lifted his head a bit to look at him. “—I didn’t expect you to actually get plastered. Someone’s gotta teach you how to drink, my friend. You’re gonna land yourself in trouble one of these days. Although it  _was_ pretty fun to watch, I will say that.”

“I blame _you_ for this,” Rin groaned. “If you were watching, then why didn’t you stop me?”

Kisumi raised his eyebrows. “It was out of my hands, man.  You were all over the place. I swear, I’d turn my back for five seconds and you’d be starting on another bottle. And you almost bit me the one time I managed to wrangle it away from you. By the way, did you know that you get really _mean_ when you’re drunk? You kept going _on and on_ about how Sousuke had always liked you better than me. But that joke’s on you, asshole,” he added, crossing his arms. “Because _I_ already knew that.”

 _Oh, God_ , Rin thought, his face turning red. Honestly, was there anyone he _hadn’t_ accosted last night?

“But, whatever,” Kisumi continued good-naturedly. “No harm, no foul. You were possessed by the spirit of partying. _Speaking_ of which—” He leaned forward, looking expectantly from Rin to Haru. “What’s the word?”

“What do you mean?” Haru asked.

“You know.” Kisumi gestured enthusiastically. “The word! The _word._ Look, everybody knows that the entire point in going to those parties is so you can dish about them the next day. So…go on. Dish. I wanna know who’s sleeping with who and who threw up on whose hair.”

“I’m going to back to sleep,” said Rin.

“God, you guys are so _boring,_ ” Kisumi moaned. “But I guess I shouldn’t expect much more from the guy with the alcohol tolerance of a preschooler and the guy who spent the entire party in the bathroom. Did you at least go through the medicine cabinets?” He turned to Haru hopefully.

Haru grabbed the remote and turned the volume up on the TV.

“Geez,” Kisumi muttered, leaning back on his hands. He looked around the room. “Where’s Rei? Wasn’t he hanging out on the patio last night? He _had_ to have witnessed at least one or two breakups. People always go outside to do that. It’s more atmospheric.”

“He’s out,” Rin said. Haru glanced at him, looking like he wanted to say something, but Kisumi launched into a story about one of his drunken classmates before he could.

Rin blocked them out and fell into a drowsy half-sleep for a little while. When he tuned back in, Kisumi was buzzing around the room, still talking animatedly.

“…And don’t quote me on this,” he was telling Haru as he sorted through Rin’s DVD collection, “but I am _so sure_ I saw Takahiro Udagawa’s girlfriend and Suzuki groping each other behind the couch while Udagawa was in the bathroom.”

“I don’t know who any of these people are,” Haru said.

“I just _told_ you, Suzuki’s in the judo club.”

“What about the other guy?”

“Udagawa?” Kisumi put down the DVD he was reading the back of and gave Haru an incredulous look. “He’s on the swim team with you.”

“Are you sure?” Haru said doubtfully.

“Do you seriously not know your teammates’ names? Rin doesn’t count,” he added when Haru opened his mouth.

Haru was silent for startlingly long period of time. “…I’d probably know them if I saw them,” he said eventually.

“Yeah, sure you would,” Kisumi chuckled.

“Rin, is there really someone named Udagawa on the team?” Haru asked, tugging on Rin’s blanket.

“Sure is,” Rin yawned. He actually knew Udagawa pretty well. He was nice, and it was a terrible shame that his girlfriend was cheating on him, but Rin was a little too preoccupied with his own problems to care as much as he probably should have.

Kisumi, who had started rummaging around in the cabinet under the TV, suddenly pulled something out with a cry of delight.

“Holy shit! Rin, can we use this?”

Rin squinted at the box Kisumi was holding up.

It turned out to be Yahtzee.

“Oh…that’s Rei’s.”

“Do you think he’d mind?”

“Probably not,” Rin said forlornly.

The two of them occasionally played it to decide who was going to do the dishes and other household chores. That and Connect Four. Rin normally didn’t have the patience for board games, but Rei seemed to adore them, so Rin humored him.

…They probably weren’t going to be able to do that anymore.

And that miserable thought was enough to keep Rin occupied for the duration of Kisumi and Haru’s rousing game. The sound of the dice rattling around in the metal cup was agonizing, but Rin figured he deserved it.

Eventually, there was another knock on the door, and Rin jumped. Really, his nerves couldn’t take much more of this.

“Do you think _that’s_ Rei?” Haru asked lightly, pouring the dice on the table in apparent disinterest. Rin knew better, though.

“I told you; he wouldn’t forget his key.”

Rin got up, hoping against hope that it was Makoto dropping by for a random, friendly visit. He would even settle for Mikoshiba at this point. The more people in the apartment by the time Rei got back, the better.

He swung the door open.

“…Um. Sorry,” Rei said. “I forgot my key.”

Rin nodded vigorously and took a few hasty steps back to let him pass. He followed Rei into the living room and went back to his permanent residence otherwise known as the couch.

“Hey, it’s Rei!” Kisumi cried, and Rei froze in his tracks. “Where’ve you been?”

“Just…doing some shopping,” Rei said. He held up the grocery bags he was carrying with a slightly strained smile. There were only three bags. Not nearly enough to justify him being gone for two hours.

“Well, get on over here and play with us! Maybe you can teach Haru how to count. I honestly had no idea it was even _possible_ for someone to be bad at Yahtzee.”

“Uh, no, thank you,” Rei said. “I have some homework I really ought to be working on.” He started toward his bedroom, but then seemed to realize he was still holding the grocery bags and paused “Oh. I guess I should put these in the kitchen.”

Looking a little disoriented, Rei managed to take the five steps to his left that would lead him into the kitchen. He started unpacking the groceries, all the while chattering distractedly about his plans to reorganize the pantry when he had time. The others watched in mild confusion.

It didn’t take Rei that long to put everything away—he really hadn’t bought much at all—and once he was done, he bid them a hasty farewell and retreated into his room.

As soon as the door was shut, Haru whipped around to look at Rin.

“What’s wrong with him?” he asked.

“No idea,” Rin replied, trying not to look guilty.

Haru’s eyebrows furrowed. “Then why’s he acting all…?” He made some weird gesture that somehow described Rei’s behavior perfectly.

“I don’t know!” Rin snapped. “I mean— well, he’s probably just tired—and hung over and—and _traumatized_! And you wanna know something? I’m thinking we shouldn’t have taken him to that party in the first place, I mean, seriously, whose idea was that? Because it was a really _bad_ one! He shouldn’t have been exposed to that, not at his age, and I probably shouldn’t have been either because, well, _obviously_ I wasn’t ready, and alcohol is just very— _very_ — _dangerous_!”

Haru was squinting at him. “…What are you talking about?”

Rin gulped and tried to backpedal. He opened his mouth in a panic, but was interrupted by Kisumi, who was still staring bemusedly in the direction of Rei’s room.

“Huh.” He tilted his head. “Do you guys think he’s hot?”

“I—I don’t _know_!” Rin spluttered. “I’ve never even _thought_ about it!”

“What?” Kisumi said.

“…What?” Rin said.

“I just meant…it’s like a million degrees out, and he’s wearing a sweatshirt.”

“…Oh.”

Haru and Kisumi were both staring at him now. Shit.

“I, um…Weren’t you guys in the middle of something!” he barked. Then he stuffed his face into a pillow, vowing not to open his mouth for the rest of the day.

Thankfully, Kisumi and Haru resumed their game without protest. In fact, they were so docile about it that Rin was starting to feel a little guilty, like he was holding them hostage or something. Well, that was probably to be expected. It wasn’t as though he didn’t have ulterior motives for keeping them there.

The peace didn’t last.

Apparently unable to fight the instinctive urge to be a perfect host any longer, Rei emerged from his room an hour later to prepare refreshments for their guests, which he presented without comment before withdrawing to his room again.

“…Gee,” Kisumi said, staring at the elaborately arranged fruit plate that had been set down in front of them. “Rin's mom sure is nice.”

Haru was staring at the door Rei had disappeared behind and Rin was staring at the ceiling.

Kisumi cleared his throat awkwardly and began pouring the tea into cups. He pushed one toward Rin, who stubbornly turned away. “Come on, Rin, you’ll probably die if you don’t drink. You look like you’re about halfway there already.” 

“Rin, what did you do?” Haru asked abruptly.

“…Nothing, really,” Rin mumbled to the back of the couch.

He could feel Haru glaring at him, waiting for an explanation.

“What are you guys talking about?” Kisumi sounded confused.

“…Fine,” Haru said eventually, once it became clear that Rin wasn’t going to say anything more on the subject. He nudged Kisumi and started gathering up his things. “We’re leaving.”

Rin sat up in surprise. “What? Why?!”

“Because you two clearly have something to work out, and we’re just getting in the way.”

“But—!”

“I get what you’re trying to do, you know. But you can’t avoid him forever. Besides,” Haru said grimly, “You don’t really want me here right now. I don’t know what this is about, and I’m not normally in the habit of choosing sides, but right now, I’m inclined to be on Rei’s.”

Unable to respond, Rin turned a desperate gaze on Kisumi, who had been stuffing fruit in his mouth and watching the exchange with wide eyes.

“Oh, I, um…” Kisumi faltered. Haru was glaring at him impatiently. “Well…I mean—there’s _food_ here…”

“I’ll buy you dinner,” Haru said, and Rin knew he had lost.

Kisumi sprang to his feet. “See ya, Rin!” he called, towing a resigned-looking Haru behind him. “You can keep the curry!”

The sound of the door slamming might as well have been Rin’s death knell. There was no way Rei hadn’t heard that. And there was only a _slightly_ larger chance that he hadn’t heard what Haru had said.

Sure enough, a few moments later, Rei hesitantly emerged from his room.  

“…Oh,” he said, looking around. “Did they leave?”

“Yeah.” Rin’s head was pounding. Probably because he’d sat up too fast. “…Ow…”

“Are you alright?” Rei asked, his uneasy expression softening in concern.

“I’m fine,” Rin said, rubbing his temples. “It’s just a headache.”

“You’re probably dehydrated. Have you had anything to drink yet?”

Rin shook his head.

“I see.” Rei went into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water, which he held out to Rin.

“Thanks,” Rin said, putting it down on the table. Rei turned to leave, but Rin grabbed his sleeve. “Can you, um…stay here for a bit?”

Rei nodded, looking like he wanted nothing more than to bolt. Rin couldn’t blame him, but…this needed to be done. He curled his legs underneath him to make room on the couch, and Rei sat down.

They were silent for a long moment. Several long moments, actually. Rei was sitting up straight and stiff while Rin sat in a raggedy, cross-legged, blanket-covered heap. It was annoyingly disparate, but then again, that wasn’t exactly _rare_ for them.

“Are you going to drink that?” Rei said suddenly, and Rin nearly jumped in surprise. Rei was looking at the glass of water Rin had left untouched.

“…Oh. Yeah.” Rin lifted the glass to his lips and took a few sips. Those went down ok, so he risked a few more. As he drank, he took the opportunity to surreptitiously survey Rei.

Rei had shifted a bit, the movement pulling the hood of his sweatshirt away from his neck, and Rin was suddenly face-to-face with all the havoc he’d wrought. He stared at it in a sort of morbid fascination. The hickeys had faded a bit, but the bite-mark was still faintly red.

God…that must have _hurt_.

“Not really. It, um…looks worse than it feels,” Rei said, and that was when Rin realized that he must have made his observation out loud.

“Um,” Rei continued when Rin failed to do anything but stare at him in horror. “I think it was just the, uh…quality of your teeth, um, compounded with the…angle of entry…” He trailed off, blushing up to his glasses.

“I—I am so sorry,” Rin blurted, and the words continued to bubble up and out of his mouth before he could think about them. “I just—I don’t remember much of last night, but I must have done something _really_ weird, and—I probably really freaked you out and—and I have no idea what got into me—”

“About five or six beers, it sounded like.”

“—but I completely understand if you hate me, and I’m just really, _really_ sorry—”

“It’s ok.”

“—and you can, like—punch me, or something if you want! Just—maybe in the stomach or somewhere that’s not my head because that already hurts a lot and I really—Sorry, what did you say?”

“It’s _ok_ ,” Rei repeated, and he sounded like he really meant it. He gave Rin a slightly crooked smile. “You didn’t even break the skin…that much.”

Rin just stared at him. He’d unconsciously been inching closer and closer to Rei during his little speech until he was practically in his face. Rei’s hands had settled on his shoulders at some point to stop him from knocking them both off the couch.

“It probably won’t scar…” Rei added weakly, when Rin still didn’t say anything. Then he seemed to realize that his hands were still resting on Rin’s shoulders. He removed them quickly and adjusted his glasses.

Rin’s heart hammered guiltily against his ribcage.

“That’s…that’s good,” he said, “but, um…I wasn’t talking about… _just_ that.”

“I know,” Rei replied quietly. “And…it’s fine. You didn’t know what you were doing.”

“But I was—”

“You were inebriated.”

“But…” Rin frowned. “So were you...?”

“I was,” Rei agreed. “But…to a lesser degree.” He looked very serious now, some of the discomfort in his face giving way to something else. “And…I should have realized something was wrong with you sooner. I mean—you were acting so strange—”

“That’s not your—”

“—that it really should have been obvious. And I’m the one who made you go to that thing in the first place—even after you said you didn’t want to—so it’s my fault for putting you in that position and—and I’m really sorry.”

That was so out of left field that Rin could do little more than stare at him in stunned silence. Was Rei actually saying what Rin thought he was saying?

“I…I can’t _believe_ you’re trying to take the blame for this!” he cried, once he’d gotten his voice back. “Rei— _I’m_ the one who attacked _you_!”

“You didn’t _attack_ me!” Rei squeaked, his eyes widening in embarrassment.

Rin crossed his arms. “What _did_ I do, then?”

“You—well you sort of—I mean, it wasn’t exactly—you were… Rin-san, are you _really_ going to make me summarize?!” he eventually snapped.

“…That bad, huh?” The face Rei was making was hilarious, and Rin honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry

“It’s—it was—” Rei broke off and took a calming breath. Then he met Rin’s eyes for the first time since they’d started this conversation. “Look, I told you—there’s no permanent damage. And it could have happened to anyone, so…it’s not a big deal, right?”

“Uh, no. You’ve definitely got the wrong attitude about this.”

Rei rolled his eyes. “Maybe I do. But that’s my problem, not yours.” And before Rin could ask what that was supposed to mean, he added, “The point is, you didn’t mean to do it and I’m not mad about it…So can we just—”

“Let it drop?” Rin suggested. He gave Rei a tiny smile, feeling a flicker of hope in his chest.

Rei smiled shyly back. “I was going to say forget it ever happened…Though apparently _you_ already have. The neurophysiological effects of alcohol are astounding, aren’t they?”

“Oh. Yeah.” Rin rubbed the back of his neck. “Lucky me, I guess?”

Rei nodded, his smile fading some. Though maybe Rin just imagined that.

There was probably more they should have said, but at least they had gotten the important bit out of the way. And most importantly, the status of their friendship was no longer in question. At least Rin hoped it wasn’t. He should probably…confirm that.

Eventually, he felt brave enough to gently nudge Rei with his elbow. “So, um…Are we good?”

Rei hesitated, looking conflicted about something, but then his expression cleared and he smiled. A real one this time. “Like I said—No permanent damage.”

Rin huffed out a laughed and let himself slump down against the back of the couch, both out of relief and exhaustion. This whole ordeal had really taken a lot out of him.

They sat in silence for a while after that. Not necessarily a comfortable one, but…better than before. They’d kind of run out of things to say, but it appeared neither was willing to leave the couch just yet. For lack of anything better to do, they both looked at the TV, which Haru had left muted on the cooking channel.

Or rather, Rei looked at the TV and Rin looked at Rei looking at the TV.

He really had handled all of this remarkably well. Better than Rin had, at least. Especially considering the fact that _Rei_ was the one bearing the physical evidence of Rin’s poor decisions.

 _…Rei really is a great guy_ , Rin thought as he watched him. Great and… a little naïve. Rin still couldn’t get over the fact that Rei had tried to make the whole thing out to be his fault. That was just…no. A _big_ no. Rei was perfect.  Rin was the one who had screwed up. Rin _was_ the screw-up. Whereas Rei was…Rei was…

Rei was looking at him.

Rin flushed and hastily faced forward, mentally kicking himself for getting caught staring.

“…Rin-san,” Rei said after a moment, “Can I ask you a question?”

Oh, no.

Rin couldn’t say he hadn’t been expecting this, but that didn’t make it any less excruciating. _Clearly_ Rei was going to ask why Rin’s inebriated-self would make a pass at him like that. It was a fair question, Rin supposed, but that didn’t mean he had an answer. He honestly didn’t know.

“Um, is there any particular reason you…drank as much as you did?”

“I was—huh?” The half-baked excuse Rin had been about to spit out died in his throat as Rei’s words registered. He stared at Rei in surprise, waiting for him to add more.

“It’s just…you’re not a negligent person, and I feel as though under normal circumstances you would be very careful about that sort of thing. So, I guess I’m wondering if you perhaps…”

“If I got myself drunk on purpose?” He was beginning to realize why Rei looked so uncomfortable.

“I could be entirely wrong in my assumption, of course!” Rei added quickly. “And…I don’t mean to come off as holier-than-thou, or anything. I mean, you’re allowed to do whatever you want. Or, well— _physically_ , at least. Legally speaking, it probably wasn’t a great idea to, um…” He broke off, biting his lip nervously. He must have thought he was overstepping his bounds. And maybe he was. Rei always _had_ been a bit too sharp for his own good. Though oddly enough, Rin wasn’t nearly as annoyed as he should have been.

“Go on,” he said, bringing a knee up to his chest and resting his chin on it. He was curious to see where Rei was going with this.

“I only ask because…well, all of last week, you seemed to be preoccupied with something. And I wanted to know if that was maybe some sort of…contributing factor?”

“Did I say something weird?” Rin asked. “Last night, I mean.”

Rei grimaced. “It was—well, it was _all_ a little weird, in retrospect. Weird, but…not particularly revealing. It was more…an impression you were giving.”

Rin nodded. Well, that was something, at least. An impression would be easy enough to play off. He didn’t know what he would have done if he’d accidentally blabbed about his problem with Sousuke. That entire business was getting more and more pathetic by the day. And, ok, maybe he _did_ owe Rei an explanation to pay him back for bearing the brunt of Rin inability to cope. But that would mean sacrificing what little pride he had left, and that just wasn’t something Rin was prepared to do.

“I know it’s probably none of my business,” Rei said, and it was scary how he seemed to have known what Rin was thinking, “but if there really is something that’s bothering you, I’d like to help if I can.”

He sounded so sincere that Rin felt his resolve waver for a brief moment…

“I—”

…But when it came down to it, it was that same sincerity that made Rin want to dig a hole and bury himself in it. Rei just seemed so sure that whatever Rin’s problem was, it was worth his attention. Like it wasn’t completely stupid. Which Rin knew was patently untrue.

“—That’s nice of you, but it’s nothing,” he finished. He fixed on a self-deprecating smile and added, “I’m fine, honestly. I just miscalculated last night. I’m not really a career drinker, you know? Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.”

“…Well,” Rei said mildly. It was clear he wasn’t buying Rin’s lie for a second, but he didn’t seem inclined to call him out on it. His previously concerned—somewhat eager— expression had turned into one of badly hidden disappointment. “If you change your mind…”

“Yeah...I got it.”

He had the sudden, bizarre urge to laugh, and an even more bizarre urge to reach out and ruffle Rei’s hair. He fought them both off successfully, but just barely. He couldn’t help it. Not with Rei sitting there, looking so let down. Really, he was practically _pouting_. It was…cute.

Rin shook that thought out of his head and cleared his throat. He and Rei stood up at the same time.

“Well, um,” Rin said haltingly. The awkward switch had been flipped again. “I guess I’m gonna go to bed.”

It was only about six, but Rin was pretty sure he could happily sleep for the next several days. Unfortunately, he didn’t have that option. What he _did_ have were classes. And…swimming. And an entire existence to sustain. Which he would hopefully be up for tomorrow.

Rei nodded. “Make sure you have some more water.”

“I know, I know."

They were about to part ways at their bedroom doors when Rei suddenly stopped and said, “Oh, before I forget, Rin-san—”

Rin paused and eyed him warily. “Yeah…?”

“Goodness, you don’t have to look so frightened,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I was just going to say that I talked to my parents earlier today and—”

“Oh my god, you didn’t _tell_ them—?!”

Rei gave him an extremely dirty look. “Yes, Rin-san. My forays into underage drinking are something I always discuss with my parents.”

“Well, it wasn’t really _your_ foray that was the problem,” Rin muttered. “But, um, yeah. Sorry. ‘Course you didn’t.”

“They’re coming to see a show for my mom’s birthday this weekend. I just thought I should tell you because they might stop by.”

“Ah. Ok…Well, don’t worry.” Rin gestured to himself. “I should have all this under control by then.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that,” Rei replied sweetly— _so_ sweetly _,_ in fact, that by the time Rin realized he’d been insulted, Rei had already gone into his room and shut the door in his face.

Rin slunk into his own room and sat down on the bed, feeling terribly sorry for himself. Mostly because Rei was probably right. He couldn’t even find it in him to be mad about it. Especially since he could have been a lot more scathing if he’d wanted to be. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, he’d let Rin off way too easy, considering the extent of the damage he’d done.

Rin cringed, remembering the brief glimpses he’d gotten throughout the day of the hickeys dotting Rei’s neck, as well as that damn bite mark.

Those were still a bit of a mystery, to be honest. He really was glad Rei hadn’t seen fit to investigate the matter further. Rin had no explanation for his actions. He was just glad he couldn’t remember doing it…

…Although, at the same time, Rin realized vaguely, right before sleep claimed him. At the same time…he kind of…sort of…wished he _could_ remember doing it.

* * *

Despite sleeping for almost twelve hours straight, Rin was nowhere near in good condition the next morning. He’d gotten over the more painful aspects of the hangover, but he was still hopelessly drowsy and unfocused, and Rin had to wonder if maybe there wasn’t still a bit of alcohol left in his system. Either way, he was beginning to suspect that he was something of a lightweight.

Thankfully, by the time he got to practice, he seemed to have made a full recovery, and he was able to give his swimming the concentration it demanded.

The next competition was this coming Sunday, and Rin was really hoping his personal problems weren’t going to manifest themselves in his times, which tended to suffer when he wasn’t in good spirits. He didn’t really anticipate it being too much of an issue—he was a professional, after all. Or _almost_ a professional, at least. He could compartmentalize with the best of them—but Rin knew himself well enough to realize that he might need to take a few preventative measures. So long as he was prepared _physically_ , Rin was confident he could make up for any mental roadblocks, which was why he was implementing a new, more rigorous training regimen for the week leading up the meet.

It was actually kind of exciting, being this proactive. He’d let himself get too distracted lately, what with one thing and another. It was time to really buckle down and focus solely on swimming.

Rin was particularly enjoying today’s workout. Especially after the weekend he’d had. There was honestly no better way to let of steam. It was sort of funny how swimming was a constant source of both stress and relief at the same time…Actually, now that he thought about it, Rei was kind of like that too—

Rin slammed the breaks on that thought before he lost control of it.

 _Stupid_. Honestly, why did his brain have to automatically go to _Rei,_ of all people? Whatever comparison he’d been trying to make, the same could easily be said of any one of his friends. What made _Rei_ so special?

Rin shook his head. God. So annoying. That was like the tenth time Rei had derailed his train of thought today. What the hell was wrong with—

“Rin,” Haru said behind him. “You might want to get ready.”

“…Oh,” Rin said when he realized that Mikoshiba was halfway done with the length.

 _Pay attention, idiot_ , he scolded himself as he stepped onto the starting block.

“Something on your mind, Matsuoka?” Iwashima asked from where he was lounging on the ground behind them. He gave Rin a knowing look—he’d been doing that a lot since practice started, for some reason—and Rin tried his best to ignore him.

They were practicing for the medley relay, one of Rin’s events on Sunday. The team had been chosen based on times and consisted of Rin, Haru, Mikoshiba on breaststroke, and Iwashima on backstroke—which Rin was still incredibly bitter about. It had been a spur-of-the-moment thing; the person who was originally supposed to have swum the backstroke leg, a mild mannered third year called Himura, had unexpectedly taken a leave of absence due to a family emergency. And unfortunately, Iwashima held the next fastest time.

It was sort of a novel experience. Rin had never been on a relay team with someone he actively disliked before. Mostly because he’d never really disliked any of his teammates, period. Luckily—and rather interestingly—the animosity wasn’t actually hindering their ability to work together. In fact, it was one of the best relay teams Rin had ever been on, performance-wise.

By the time break rolled around, Rin was feeling pretty good about himself.

That didn’t last very long, though.

He had just sat down on one of the benches to look over the chart of his times from the past few weeks he’d gotten from the assistant coach when Iwashima sidled up to him, taking a seat next to him and leaning way into his personal space.

“ _I know_ ,” he whispered in Rin’s ear.

Rin just barely stopped himself from letting out a shriek and scuttling to the other end of the bench. Iwashima crossed his legs and draped his arms over the back, looking distinctly smug about something.

“What?” Rin asked, eying him uneasily. “What do you know?”

Iwashima cleared his throat and began like he was reading off a headline, “Sighted: one Rin Matsuoka, second year, doing strange and obscene things to an unidentified figure at Hachi Takaya’s party last Saturday night.”

Oooh no.

“…I have no idea what you’re talking about…?” Rin said, once he’d managed to stop gaping. Unfortunately for him, it came out sounding like a question.

“Oh, please. There are like four separate eyewitness accounts.” Iwashima grinned wolfishly at him. “Apparently you’re not very discreet. But, uh, mad props to you for being so open about it, I guess?”

Rin turned his back to him, biting his thumbnail and trying to collect himself.

“So,” Iwashima continued, ignoring his obvious discomfort. “It’s true. Spring really has sprung for young Matsuoka-kun.”

“We’re the same age, you know!” Rin snapped, too faintly for there to be any bite to it.

“I can’t believe you were lying to me all those times I asked you about it. Way uncool, man. Teammates shouldn’t hide shit from each other.”

Maybe if Rin didn’t say anything, he would go away.

“Sooo? Who’s the lucky chew toy? You know, I really hope for his sake you’ve had all your shots.”

“Would it be completely redundant if I said it was none of your business?”

“Tch, boring. But suit yourself. I can just find out on my own.” The look he was giving Rin was positively ominous. “That’ll be oodles of fun,” he added.

“Why do you even _care_?” Rin asked, genuinely confused and genuinely alarmed.

Iwashima shrugged and stood up, his expression going back to its usual indifference. “Just killing time. I get bored easily, but you’ve managed to hold my interest. Congrats.”

“…You _really_ need to get a life,” Rin informed him, standing up as well. “You do realize you just called me your hobby, right?”

“I did kind of realize that, yeah,” Iwashima said with one last smirk. He began walking away and glanced at Rin over his shoulder. “But don’t act like you’re not enjoying the attention.”

Rin watched him go with mingling outrage and disgust. Possibly a little bit of fear.

Maybe he was just being paranoid, but something about the exchange had been sort of…threatening. He was probably overreacting, though. Iwashima was an altogether unpleasant individual, but it wasn’t like he could _actually_ do anything to Rin besides piss him off.

Besides, Saturday night had been a fluke. Rin had absolutely nothing to hide. Too bad for Iwashima, but that big secret he was so hell-bent on using against him was nonexistent. Although, Rin supposed he _should_ be glad that whoever these so-called fucking eyewitnesses were, they’d apparently thought what they’d seen was some kind of…mutual thing. That was a _small—very_ small—comfort.

“You know,” someone said next to him. Rin turned to see that Mikoshiba had wandered over and joined him in staring after Iwashima, his face a picture of distaste. “There are some people in this world who just need to get smacked at least once in their lives.”

Rin exhaled, releasing a great deal of tension.

“I, uh, didn’t mean to eavesdrop…”

“ _Sure_ you didn’t.” Rin rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t really annoyed. His former captain could be overbearing at times, but Rin knew he always meant well.

“…You know, for what it’s worth,” Mikoshiba said after a moment, “I’ve actually heard the official story that’s going around, and you’ll be happy to know that the details are very vague. I’m pretty sure Ryugazaki-kun’s name didn’t even come up once.”

Rin was not at all reassured by that.

Mikoshiba laughed. “Oh, don’t look so tragic! College is the pinnacle time for this sort of thing. Just think of it as one more story for the grandkids.”

“What the hell kind of stories did _your_ grandparents tell you?” Rin snapped.

Mikoshiba just shrugged, still chuckling a bit to himself. “Anyway,” he said, tilting his head toward Rin. “How’re you doing?”

“Fine, I guess,” Rin sighed. “I don’t know…I feel like things would probably be a lot worse if I actually had any memory of what happened—but I _don’t_ , so there’s like this weird disconnect going on, you know? And it’s, like— _confusing_ because he’s being totally chill about it and I just have to wonder if we’re actually on the same page here or if he’s just humoring me because right now it feels like I’m the one who’s overreacting and that’s usually _his_ shtick, and— Oh, you meant my _times,_ didn’t you?”

He realized a little too late that Mikoshiba had been gesturing toward his clipboard, not to him in general.

“I did,” Mikoshiba confirmed, regarding him with some concern. “But that was my bad. Clearly _someone_  needs to vent.”

Rin blushed and kept his mouth firmly shut.

Mikoshiba laughed again and slapped him bracingly on the back. “Listen, I think you’re gonna be just fine. I mean…considering how smashed you were at the time, goin’ to town on another dude’s neck is not the _worst_ thing you could have done. _Believe_ me. Plus, you said yourself he was cool about it. If I were you, I’d ride his good graces as far as they go and just accept that he let you off the hook.”

Rin nodded, his face, if it were possible, heating up even more. He kind of wanted to go stick his head under water, but Mikoshiba wasn’t finished apparently.

“You know, now that I think about it,” he said, nodding to himself, “it’s not even all that surprising that you’d be _that_ kind of a drunk.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, you _are_ kind of…naturally flirtatious.”

“Wha—I am not!” Rin cried. He looked around to make sure no one else was listening, which he probably should have done a lot earlier. _Geez_ , why the hell would Mikoshiba think it was ok to go around saying things like that out loud!? And he’d sounded so serious about it, too!

“Please,” Mikoshiba snickered. “You banter at the same rate that normal people _exhale_.”

“I do _not_! And since when were bantering and flirting the same thing?”

“You seriously haven’t noticed? You do it with practically everyone!”

“No. I. _Don’t!_ Name _one time_ I ever—” Rin broke off as a group of first years walked by.

“Matsuoka-senpai, good work earlier!” one of them said.

“Yeah, you too," Rin replied. "You really gave me a run for my money during that last sprint. Guess I’m gonna have to start watching my back from now on!”

He ruffled the kid’s hair and watched with a fond smile as he giggled and hurried to catch up with his friends. Then he turned back to Mikoshiba, who was looking at him with raised eyebrows.

Rin’s smile faded when he realized why.

“ _Shit,_ ” he groaned, bringing a shaky hand up to cover his face.

Mikoshiba laughed uproariously and gave Rin a few more slaps on the back that probably left handprints.

“Don’t worry, Matsuoka! I doubt anyone takes you seriously. And it’s not like you do it on purpose…Actually,” he added thoughtfully, “It’s pretty obvious that it’s more of a defensive strategy than anything else. Kind of your way of keeping people at arms length, you know?”

“…You totally just made that up,” Rin said uncomfortably, looking down at with the clipboard.

“Maybe.” Mikoshiba shrugged. “Doesn’t mean it’s not true, though. For your information, I _have_ taken two whole psychology classes.”

“What was that you were saying about people who need to be _smacked_?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll shut up now,” Mikoshiba held up is hands in surrender. “Anyway, let me have a look at your chart. That’s why I came over here in the first place.”

Rin handed him the clipboard, relieved that they were _finally_ done talking about this. He tried to put this latest devastating revelation regarding his— _speech habits_ — out of his mind as Mikoshiba scanned his times.

“Not bad,” he eventually announced. “Looks like the 100 and 200 fly are your best bet for this weekend, and the relay, obviously. But the way you’re headed, I think you could definitely end up placing in the 100 free.”

Rin shrugged. “I’m not counting on it,” he said, taking the paper back from Mikoshiba. “Haru’s pretty much got that market cornered. But no harm in trying, I guess.”

“That’s the spirit!” said Mikoshiba, and Rin dodged another thump on the back. “Although, it’s not like it really matters at this point. Either way, you’re going to the meet in France in July…I got an eyeful of Coach’s preliminary list while I was doing some filing for him the other day,” he explained in a conspiratorial whisper at Rin’s look of disbelief.

“You’re not supposed to tell me that!” Rin cried, completely scandalized, but at the same time incredibly pleased.

Only ten out of the twenty-five members of the team were going the international competition, and they weren’t supposed to find out who had been chosen until after the meet this weekend. Rin had been fairly certain he was on the shortlist, but he hadn’t wanted to get his hopes up by assuming anything beyond that.

“I figured a poor, pathetic soul like you could use some good news,” Mikoshiba said with an indulgent smile. “Make sure you keep it to yourself though.”

Thanks to that, Rin went through the rest of practice buzzing with excitement, his mood greatly improved.

In spite of everything else.

Rei was doing homework at the kitchen table when Rin got home, and Rin nearly turned around and walked back out the door again. Luckily, he managed to clamp down on that particular urge and forced himself into the room. He and Rei were _fine_ , he told himself. Things between them weren’t weird at all.

“Hello,” Rei said with a smile when Rin tossed his keys onto the counter to announce his presence. And apart from the sweatshirt he was once again wearing to hide his neck, Rei looked distressingly normal, completely at ease with his surroundings. It was truly inspiring. And kind of annoying. There was no way Rin was going to let himself be the awkward one here

“How was practice?” Rei inquired.

Rin shrugged and took a seat at the table.  “…Relatively painless,” he said after a moment, thinking of his little interlude with Iwashima.

Rei gave him weird look. “That doesn’t sound good. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Rin waved his concern away. Then a thought struck him and all at once he straightened up and leaned forward to get a look at Rei’s face. “More importantly—are _you_ alright?”

There was a story about them going around, wasn’t there? That was what Iwashima had said, and Mikoshiba had confirmed it. Had anyone said anything to Rei? God, Rin hoped not. He wouldn’t want Rei to have to deal with that. Mikoshiba had said Rei’s name hadn’t come up, but on the off chance that it _had_ …

“Yes…” Rei said, blinking at his sudden outburst.

“Are you sure? I mean, you can tell me if you’re not,” Rin said urgently.

“I’m quite sure.”

“So, nothing weird happened to you today? Everything’s…normal?”

“I believe so?” Rei said blankly. “I mean…I do have a slight headache at the moment, but other than that, I’m fine.”

He seemed genuinely baffled, and Rin nearly sagged in relief. Unless Rei was an extremely good liar—which Rin knew from experience he wasn’t—then it appeared that he really had no idea what Rin was getting at. Which probably meant it was safe to assume no one had given him a hard time.

“Why do you want to know?” Rei asked. Rin hesitated.

…There was no way he was going to tell Rei that people were talking about them. There was no need. It would just freak him out. Rin was tough; he could handle it. _Rei_ , on the other hand…

“No reason,” Rin said.

Rei cast him another strange look, but returned his attention to his homework.

He seemed to be working on some sort of lengthy mathematical proof. Rin watched in mild awe as his pencil moved across the page without stopping for nearly a minute. Rei’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration, and, without looking up, he brought his free hand up and began searching blindly for something on the tabletop, tapping each textbook and packet he came across before moving on to the next.

 _Physics, physics, chemistry…_ It was like watching some sort of mega-nerd version of duck, duck, goose. The math book Rin realized he was probably looking for was slightly out of reach, so Rin helpfully slid it into his path.

“You know,” he commented with a small smile, “You probably have a headache because you’ve been reading too much.”

Rei looked up at him in surprise “That’s impossible,” he declared, adjusting his glasses, which only succeeded in making them crooked.

Rin laughed and reached out to fix them.

“Is not. Haven’t you ever heard of eyestrain? Go outside and stare into the distance for a while.” He made sure Rei’s glasses were centered evenly on his nose and brushed some of the hair away from his forehead. “I guarantee you’ll feel better.”

Rei’s cheeks had gone slightly red, and he was giving Rin a startled look. Rin couldn’t figure out why for a second, but as soon as he did, he snatched his hand away from Rei’s hair like it had bitten him.

“Um. So, yeah, just make sure you take a break soon!” he babbled, standing up so fast that he nearly knocked the chair over. “Wouldn’t want your eyesight to get any worse than it already is—not that I’m saying it’s bad or anything, I mean, you’ve got the glasses, but it’s not like I know what your prescription is, or whatever, and um…Anyway! You’re busy, so I guess I’ll leave you to it.”

And then he did the only thing he could think to do in that moment and socked Rei in the shoulder before darting into his room.

 _Ok,_ he had to admit later as he lay in bed, embarrassed beyond all belief. _Maybe things were a_ little _weird between them._

* * *

Rin didn’t see much of Rei the rest of the week.

Not on purpose, of course! It wasn’t like Rin was avoiding him or anything like that. He just happened to be extremely busy preparing for the upcoming tournament, not leaving him a whole lot of time to socialize.

And the few times they did run into each other, they were completely normal. Well… _Rei_ was completely normal. That probably wasn’t the most appropriate word to describe what _Rin_ was.

He wasn’t quite sure how to act, see, so every time he and Rei had a conversation, Rin would cut it short by giving halting, minimal word answers before making up some excuse to get away.

And then, more often than not, he'd reach out, punch Rei in the shoulder, and make his escape.

The shoulder-punching was a troubling new habit he’d picked up after the incident on Monday night. Rin didn’t know why, but it just seemed like a good note to leave things on. Just some friendly contact between friendly friends. _Friends_ being the operative word.

Possibly the worst part of all of this was that Rei, who couldn’t have failed to notice Rin’s off kilter behavior, was taking it all in stride, remaining at all times courteous, if somewhat puzzled by Rin’s caginess and apparent vendetta against his left shoulder.

He was almost being a little _too_ nice to Rin. Sort of like he felt sorry for him, or something. And that rankled with Rin.

Sure, Rei had accepted his apology and whatnot, but somehow that didn’t feel like enough. There should have been more repercussions for his actions, and until they happened, Rin was going to feel uneasy. He wished Rei would drop the understanding front and just take him to task like he usually did. Then maybe Rin could stop walking on eggshells around him and things could go back to normal.  

 

On the day of the competition, Rin woke up at 6:30, having only gotten about two hours of sleep. He’d been up most of the night, tossing and turning, mind running a mile a minute. He hadn’t had pre-competition nerves this bad since high school. Probably because he hadn’t been under this much pressure since then.

It was the fact that he knew he had already been chosen to go to France in July that ultimately did him in. As ecstatic as he’d been when he’d heard, it eventually dawned on him that there was a lot of responsibility attached to this information. Mikoshiba had said himself that it was a preliminary list. That meant that it was subject to possible change. And now that Rin knew he was on it, he needed to do everything in his power to maintain his spot, meaning he had to make an even better showing at the competition today than he would have without such knowledge.

Not getting any sleep wasn’t a great jumping off point, but Rin was used to operating at less than his best. He probably could have tried to catch another hour since the team wasn’t meeting until 8, but he didn’t really see the point.

He got up and headed for his door, but he didn’t get very far before he tripped over a pair of sweatpants on the floor by his bed. It had been hot last night, and Rin had been restless, resulting in him kicking and tearing off everything he’d worn to bed but his boxers. Luckily he managed to catch himself before he slammed into the doorframe, and he stumbled out of his room like that— half naked, exhausted, and a little pissed off that he’d nearly broken his nose two hours before a competition.

He wandered into the kitchen in search of coffee. Unlike Rei, who seemed to have developed a rather worrying addiction to the stuff, Rin tended to avoid coffee. He wasn’t really a fan of the taste or artificial energy boost afforded by the caffeine. But given the fact that he wasn’t producing any on his own at the moment, Rin reckoned he could use a little artificial energy.

The lights were on, but Rei was nowhere to be seen. His bedroom door was slightly ajar, though, so Rin figured he was probably doing some early morning homework. That was fine. Rin wouldn’t bother him. Rei probably wouldn’t mind him helping himself to his coffee anyway.

Rin went straight for the coffee pot Rei had conveniently left on the counter and poured what was left into a mug. Then he braced himself, figuring he might as well get it over with, and took a huge gulp…

…And immediately spat it all over himself, coughing and almost dropping his mug in surprise.

Instead of the burning bitterness he’d been expecting, what he had gotten was lukewarm and almost sickeningly sweet.

“REI, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO THE COFFEE MAKER?” he bellowed before he realized what he was doing. And maybe he was overreacting, but he couldn’t help it. If there was one thing Rin hated more than coffee, it was _flavored_ coffee. He did _not_ need that kind of shock this early in the morning!

There was the sound of muffled voices from Rei’s room. A moment later, the door opened wider and to Rin’s complete and utter confusion, a woman with dark hair and glasses emerged, closely followed by Rei.

 _Oh my God, he has a girlfriend_ , was Rin’s first thought.

The woman was smiling inquisitively at Rin and coming toward him, hand outstretched. Rei leaned against his doorframe and positively _glared_ at him.

“You must be Matsuoka-kun,” the women said warmly, and before Rin could say or do anything, she reached out and began shaking his hand, completely ignoring the fact that he was dripping with coffee, and also not wearing a shirt. “How nice to finally meet you. I’m Kana Ryugazaki. Rei’s mother!” she added, beaming, when Rin just stared at her blankly.

 _Oooh_. That made sense. Now that he was looking at her properly, the resemblance was uncanny. Not that Rin really had time to appreciate that. He was a little busy willing the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

Rei was still giving him a nasty look over his mom’s shoulder, and Rin widened his eyes, silently trying to communicate that he was _sorry_.

Rei’s mom glanced back at him. “Rei, you keep working on ordering those tickets for us. We’ll be just fine out here.”

To Rin’s dismay, Rei nodded and went back into his room.

“Well, then,” Rei’s mom said, turning back to him.

But before she could say anything else, the sound of the shower turning on issued from the bathroom. There was a shout of triumph, and a few seconds later a tall man came out into the kitchen, holding a wrench in one hand and what Rin recognized as Rei’s electric screwdriver in the other.

“Alright, Rei, I fixed it!” he called, tossing the wrench on the table and taking just a little more care setting the screwdriver down. “Should be good as new now! Honestly, though,” he added to Rei’s mom. “I don’t know how those boys managed to live like that for the last four months. Nearly took my eye out the moment I turned it on—and I wasn’t even standing that close to it! Can you imagine trying to wash your hair under eighteen liters per minute? Which isn’t even legal, by the way. The max for domestic showerheads is nine. Our son is a criminal. Hello there.” He was looking at Rin now.

“This is Matsuoka-kun,” Rei’s mom told him.

The man grabbed Rin’s hand just like Rei’s mom did before, not in the least bit put off by his lack of clothes and the coffee still dribbling down his chin and chest.

“Glad to meet you. I’m Ino Ryugazaki, otherwise known as the man who fixed your shower. Tell me, you got some kind of aversion to plumbers?” He regarded Rin with a raised eyebrow.

“I, um—it’s more like an aversion to spending money?” Rin stammered apologetically.

To his slight consternation, Rei’s parents laughed.

“Well, can’t argue with that!” Rei’s dad said as his wife moved past Rin.

She grabbed a roll of paper towels and started cleaning up the coffee Rin had managed to spray on the counter and one of the cabinets, saying, “I’m so sorry about the coffee! We only brought that kind because it’s Rei’s favorite.” She indicated a package of expensive-looking powdered coffee with a bow on it sitting next to the coffee maker—obviously a host gift. “What we really should have done was called ahead of time and ascertained your preference as well. That was terribly remiss. I do hope you’ll forgive us.”

“Oh, no!” Rin blurted, guilt and humiliation battling it out for dominance inside him. “It’s fine! Sorry! I, uh—I’m the one who—” He broke off as Rei’s mom began wiping his face with a paper towel she’d dampened at the sink.

“I didn’t want to get that kind at all,” Rei’s dad announced. “Everyone knows Rei’s favorite coffee flavor is vanilla bean. I kept telling you. I kept telling her,” he said to Rin.

“And I keep telling _you_ it’s white chocolate,” Rei’s mom said, moving on to Rin’s chest. “It’s always been white chocolate and it always _will_ be.”

“Look, I don’t know whose son you’ve been raising, but _my_ son likes vanilla bean.”

“Well, unless _your_ son has undergone a drastic change in chemical balance sometime within the last eighteen years, then his favorite flavor is definitely white chocolate. I don’t even think there is such a thing as vanilla bean coffee.”

“Oh, is that a fact?” Rei’s dad crossed his arms. “So…what? I’ve been imagining it this whole time? The real world is vanilla bean-less, and Rei and I have been living in a fantasy? Well, geez, who’s gonna break it to him?”

Rei’s mom rolled her eyes and gave Rin’s abs one last pat with the paper towel before stepping back. “Rei!” she called out in the direction of the open bedroom door. “What’s your favorite coffee flavor?”

“Hazelnut,” Rei answered promptly.

“Oh,” his parents said at the same time. Then they started laughing again.

“What was the name of the show you were seeing?” Rei called after they were done. “I’m trying to find it on the website.”

“Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra,” his mom replied. She turned to Rin and explained, “We’re supposed to see it this afternoon, but when we got here I realized I had forgotten to pack our tickets!”

“I _tried_ to convince you to get them electronically,” said Rei’s dad.

“Well, maybe if you’d tried _harder_ , this wouldn’t have happened.”

Sensing another argument in the same vein as the coffee debacle incoming, Rin figured this was as good a time as any to retreat into his room, where he would hopefully find both his clothing and his dignity. He began inching away—

“So, Matsuoka.”

Rin froze in his tracks and slowly turned to face Rei’s dad.

“You’re a swimmer, aren’t you?”

“That’s right.”

Rei’s dad nodded sagely. “Thought so. I’ve got an eye for these things.”

“Rei _told_ you he was swimmer,” said Rei’s mom scoffed. Now that she’d finished cleaning all the coffee off the woodwork and Rin, she’d moved on to rearranging their spice cabinet. “Several times, if I recall.”

Rei’s dad ignored her. “That’s a great sport, swimming. I know Rei got a lot out of it. Never was one for it myself, but I did occasionally do some training with the swim team in my university days. I was on the crew team!” he added proudly before Rin could ask. “Now _there’s_ a sport. Ever tried? Best workout you’ll ever have, that I promise you. Painful, very painful, but _worth_ it once you get the hang of it. Those were the best years of my life—no offense, Kana. ‘Course, now I can’t even _think_ about going near a pair of ores, what with my arthritis, but boy…Those were the days. There’s a certain beauty to rowing, I think—a certain grace of movement.”

He was actually getting kind of misty eyed. Rin stepped slightly back in alarm and Rei’s mom was shaking her head to herself.

“Though I don’t suppose you’d have much opportunity to see it for yourself around here,” Rei’s dad continued. “The crew team disbanded the year after I graduated. They even filled in the artificial lake we used to practice in. What a tragedy it was. The cross-country team wins an international tournament _one time_ , and suddenly it’s absorbing budgets right and left. It was brutal. We lost the badminton club and the archery team that year as well.” He shook his head in what appeared to be genuine regret. “Anyway, I’m sure you can imagine my sorrow when my _own_ _son_ —my eldest, I mean—ended up joining the cross country team while he was here.”

“Rentaro was on the track team, dear,” said Rei’s mom.

“No, no, it was cross country,” Rei’s dad insisted. “I think I’d remember something like that.”

“Yes, you’d _think_ so, wouldn’t you? But you’re wrong. It was definitely track. I’m not quite sure where this perceived betrayal is coming from.”

“Rei! Did your brother do track or cross country?”

“He did track in high school and cross country in college,” Rei called.

“Hah!” Rei’s dad crowed. His mom just rolled her eyes again. “I guess it wasn’t so perceived after all! Honestly, he's lucky I still paid his tuition after that…”

“You’ve got great skin,” Rei’s mom said out of nowhere. She was eyeing Rin critically. “May I ask what sort of regimen you’re on?”

“I—thank you?—I—It’s probably just…the chlorine…?”

“And sweat,” Rei’s dad chimed in. “Don’t forget sweat. Removes toxins and whatnot. Sweating’s the best thing you can do for your skin.”

“ _Exfoliation_ is the best thing you can do for your skin,” Rei’s mom corrected, still studying Rin’s face. Her eyes were precisely the same shade as Rei’s. It was kind of unsettling. “I could recommend a few scrubs, if you’d like…But then again, you just don’t seem to need one!”

“You realize this is a boy you’re talking to, Kana?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize proper skincare was gender exclusive. You know, my office shares a building with a dermatology clinic. You should stop by sometime, Matusouka-kun. I’m sure they’d love to do a case study.”

Luckily, Rin was saved the necessity of coming up with a response by the appearance of Rei, who had finally emerged from his bedroom.

“I printed out your tickets,” he said, handing a sheet of paper to his mom. “Please don’t lose them.”

“You sure are good with that computer of yours,” his dad said admiringly.

Rei accepted his praise with a gracious nod. Then he turned to Rin and regarded him coldly. “Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?”

Rin gulped audibly. “I—Yes. Yes, I do.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Rei’s mom cried. “Please, don’t let us keep you!"

“You might want to put some clothes on before you go, though,” Rei’s dad suggested.

“Right,” Rin managed to say, backing away toward his room. “Um, it was nice meeting you.”

Once the door was shut, Rin allowed himself a few moments of internal screaming before gathering up some clothes. He decided to head to the bathroom via Rei’s room, not really wanting to take the long way with Rei and his parents still out there.

Unfortunately, when Rin emerged on the other side of the hole in the wall, Rei was there, standing between him and the door to the bathroom.

“...Hey, um it’s kind of rude to just leave your parents alone out there,” Rin said, once the heat of Rei’s glare became too much for him.

“I was just getting my wallet,” Rei said stiffly, holding it up. Then he crossed his arms, adding, “And I don’t think you’re really in a position to be lecturing me on decorum. You know, _considering_.”

“Look, I am really sorry about that—”

“About what? The cursing, the coffee, or the nudity?”

“All of the above!” Rin said with feeling. He offered Rei a hopeful, supplicating smile.

Rei just raised an eyebrow. “You know, you’re very fortunate my parents are…the way they are. And don’t give me that look. You’re not nearly as charming as you think you are.”

“Sorry,” Rin said again, a little sourly. “…But it’s not like it was my fault! You told me on, like, _Tuesday_ that they weren’t coming until tonight!”

“Yes, but then I told you _yesterday_ that they lost their concert tickets and would be coming by in the morning so I could help them get new ones. I would have hoped that knowledge might have at _least_ inspired you to wear pants, but apparently I’ve been giving you far too much credit.”

Rin fidgeted and clutched his bundle of clothes more securely to his chest.

He sort of vaguely remembered Rei saying something to him right before he left for the gym yesterday. But…he’d had his headphones in….and he was sort of already in workout-mode…and things had still been so weird on his end that he’d been in kind of a hurry to get away…All of which resulted in Rin just smiling and giving Rei a thumbs up after flat-out not listening to whatever he’d just said.

“…Rin-san, you really need to start listening to me when I talk to you,” Rei said. He’d been watching Rin come to his realization through narrowed eyes. “You’ve been blowing me off all week—don’t think I haven’t noticed!” he added at Rin’s startled look. “—And I really don't appreciate it. Look, I don’t know what your problem is—actually, no, I _do_ know what your problem is, and that’s why I’m going to tell you again, since it obviously didn’t sink in the first time: I don’t _care_ about what happened. _Please_ get that through your thick head! I understand that you’re embarrassed about it, and that’s fine—you _should_ be—but I’m afraid it’s beginning to affect your ability to function normally. Furthermore…”

He paused, and as Rin watched, all the anger drained out of his expression until there was nothing left but plain and simple sadness.

“Furthermore… I’d have liked to believe that our friendship was stronger than something like that.”

“It is!” Rin cried, his heart clenching. “It is, it _so_ is. I just—You’re right. I’ve been stupid. And…I’m sorry. I—I’ll stop now. Blowing you off, I mean, not being stupid. Well, that too, but…that’s more of a…long-term goal. I—I’m really sorry. Again.”

“I—right.…Th-thank you,” Rei said. He was still trying to look stern, but the effect was thrown off by the fact that he was now blushing slightly. “Well…I suppose I shouldn’t keep my parents waiting.”

Rin nodded. “Apologize to them for me, ok? I usually make a better first impression.”

 _“Do_ you, though?” Rei said with a small smile.

“Don’t be a brat,” Rin snapped, but he wasn’t really mad. In fact, he was feeling better than he had in a long time. “Anyway, let me through, I’ve gotta get ready…Oh.” He paused at the bathroom door and turned to Rei. “Um, so, I guess since your parents are here now, you’re not coming to the meet anymore?”

“No, I’m still coming. We’re just going out to breakfast. It won’t take long.”

“Oh. Ok. Well. Good. Um, have fun. With your parents, I mean.”

Rei gave him another smile and left the room. Rin went into the bathroom, still a little embarrassed—and a little unnerved—but also weirdly satisfied.

Well, He _had_ been waiting for Rei to lose his temper on him, hadn’t he? Waiting and…kind of wanting. Sometimes the only way to get through to Rin was to call him out when he was being an idiot—something Rei was immensely good at.

Of course, it would have been nice he’d done it _before_ Rin made a complete ass of himself in front of his parents, but oh well. Better late than never.

As Rin brushed his teeth, the sounds of Rei and his parents getting ready to leave were audible through the door, as well as some faint snatches of conversation. He heard his name come up once, and after a few moments of morally obligated hesitation, he leaned into the door a bit to listen.

“…seems perfectly lovely,” Rei’s mom was saying, and Rin decided that they couldn’t _possibly_ be talking about him anymore. “And I’m sure you’ve done what you could with the place. But I’m afraid I still don’t quite understand why you chose it over that gorgeous little townhouse we had all picked out for you.”

Rei said something that Rin couldn’t hear.

“No, no, no, don’t worry about that,” Rei’s dad said. “We told you, it was no problem getting the deposit back. It’s just now that we’ve been here, we still don’t really get it. What’s so special about this place that you—”

The door to the apartment slammed shut before Rin could hear the rest of that sentence.

Huh…So Rei had already had a place lined up before Haru had told him about Rin’s problem. A nice one, too, apparently.

Rin found this news somewhat troubling, but he decided to put it out of his mind for the time being. He had a competition to get ready for, and he’d already wasted enough time this morning.

  

Two hours later found Rin with the rest of the team at the large swimming stadium downtown, trying to convince Haru to go to the practice pool with him before their events began.

Haru was being more stubborn than usual, however, and Rin gave up on bothering him once he’d realized that Haru seemed to be even more tired than he was. The dark circles under his eyes looked like they’d been stamped on.

“Geez,” Rin said. “What were you doing last night?”

“What do you _think_?” Haru snapped. “I was sleeping.” He stretched out on the bench he was sitting on and covered his face with his jacket

“Well you didn’t do a very good job. Is something wrong?”

“What about _you_?” Haru said, ignoring Rin’s question. “You look like you got hit by a truck. And not in a good way.”

“Is there any good way to get hit by a truck?”

“Yes, if you get a lot of money in reparations. But you look like you lost the settlement. I bet it’s because you jaywalked.”

“You do know I didn’t _actually_ get hit by a truck, right? Why can’t you just insult me normally?”

Haru turned to face the back of the bench. Rin sighed. It just wasn’t worth trying to talk to Haru when he got like this. Rin was used to it, anyway. Haru always got a little high strung during meets.

Rin was just about to go to the practice pool by himself when Makoto and Kisumi approached them.

“I’m so excited!” Kisumi cried after they said their hellos. “This is the first time I’ve been to one of these! Well, I mean, unless you count that one time I came to watch Makoto and Haru do their relay in high school. But I was only there for about five minutes, and you guys got…what? Like sixth place? Yikes, I hope you’ve improved since then.  Whad’dya say, Haru?”

Haru just twitched a bit on the bench

Kisumi raised his eyebrows. “Wow. Someone’s ready to dominate.”

“Can you do something about him?” Rin said to Makoto, who shrugged, looking a little helpless.

“Where’s Rei?” Kisumi asked, kneeling beside Haru and prodding at him through his jacket.

“He’ll probably show up later. His parents are in town and he went out to breakfast with them.”

“That sounds fun,” Makoto said. “Rei’s parents are really nice. Did you meet them, Rin?”

“Uh, yeah.” Rin colored slightly. “Briefly.”

Kisumi grinned at him. “Cool, meeting his parents. That’s a big step.”

“A big step in what?” Rin said blankly.

“Oh, you know…” Kisumi shrugged. “Friendship.”

“Right…” Rin started edging away. “Anyway, I’m gonna go warm up. Send him over if he shows any signs of life,” he said, gesturing toward Haru’s prone figure.

 

Rin was cautiously optimistic by the time he got the five-minute warning for his first event—the 100 meter freestyle. Haru never did end up joining him in the practice pool, but he was up and looking relatively focused when Rin arrived in the main arena.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

Haru shrugged. “I guess.” 

Rin eyed him with some concern, but before he could say anything, the swimmers who’d just finished the 200 backstroke race walked by. Iwashima among them. He stopped in front them and Rin tensed.

After their talk on Monday, Iwashima had continued making pointed remarks about Rin’s (nonexistent) love life every time he saw him. Which was unfortunately quite often, given that they had poli-sci together as well as swim practice.

“So?” Iwashima said, completely ignoring Haru and focusing solely on Rin. “Is he here? Is today the day I finally get to meet Mr. Unidentified Figure?” He gestured up to the bleachers above them. “He’s watching right? Which one is he? I’m assuming it’s whoever looks the most gnawed-on, but I can’t see too well from down here, so you’ll just have to point him out.”

“Would you just—” Rin’s retort was cut off by an announcement over the loudspeaker that the race would be starting momentarily.

“Guess that’s you guys. Good luck!” Iwashima trilled, practically skipping away.

Rin rolled his eyes, hating the way his stomach had seized up. Not much he could do about that right now, though. He fixed his goggles over his cap and went to line up with the rest of the swimmers.

“Rin,” Haru said quietly, following behind him. “Ignore him. Seriously.”

“I know,” Rin said lightly. “Anyway, you’d better get ready. I’ll probably beat you. I’ve been practicing like crazy lately. Been compensating for some stuff.”

“Sure, Rin,” Haru said with a small snort. “That sounds _really_ healthy, by the way.”

Rin laughed as they stepped up to their blocks in the center lanes and took their marks.

  

To Rin’s mild confusion and utter delight, he actually did end up beating Haru.

It was only by about a fraction of a second, of course, but no way was Rin going to complain about that. He’d barely even dared to hope and yet here he was. Even Haru seemed genuinely happy for him, allowing Rin to hug him for exactly seven seconds before gently prying him off and patting him on the head.

The unexpected win provided a much-needed boost to Rin’s confidence, and by afternoon break he’d managed to place first in both of his butterfly events as well. Now all that was left was the relay.

He found Makoto, Kisumi, and Rei—who had arrived in time to see Rin and Haru’s race—sitting near their school’s section of the stands. Haru was there as well, stretched out between the other three across several seats, jacket once more covering his head and shoulders.

“You’re back to that again?” Rin asked, nudging him with a knee as he passed. He sat down next to Makoto, who was closest to Haru’s head. “Haru, you’ve got a race in ten minutes. Wake up.”

“Rin! Shhhh!” Kisumi scolded from Haru’s other end. “He’s charging.”

“You’ve been doing quite well, Rin-san,” said Rei, who was sitting next to Kisumi, and the smile he gave Rin was so bright it practically blinded him.

Rin sat there blinking for a few seconds, trying to figure out if he’d done that on purpose. “Oh…yeah, thanks.”

“You’ve won every one of your races so far. It’s really quite impressive. Is there anything in particular you can attribute it to?”

Rin shrugged. “Not really. Just, you know—an abundance of preparation, that sort of thing.”

Rei nodded thoughtfully. “You _have_ been training much more rigorously than usual, lately. From what I’ve seen, at least.”

Rin raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure where he was going with that. Before he could ask, however, Haru began to stir.

He sat up slowly, letting the jacket fall from his face, and swung his legs off the seats.

“What time is it?” he asked grumpily.

“What’s your problem?” Rin demanded.

“It’s almost 3:35,” Rei said quickly.

Haru grimaced. “…I gotta go.”

He stood up and made to leave, but then stopped and turned to Rin. “Do you have any goggles on you? Mine snapped and I don’t feel like going back to the locker room for my other pair.”

Rin gave him the ones he kept in the pocket of his team jacket, and Haru turned around again, but was stopped this time by Kisumi, who had sprung up from his seat.

“Wait a second, Haru!”

He grabbed the goggles out of Haru’s hand. And then, as everyone watched, he brought them up to his mouth and proceeded to spit into each eyepiece.

“Good luck!” he beamed.

Haru looked somewhere between bewildered and absolutely _murderous_ as Kisumi handed the goggles back. The others all stared.

“…You can keep those if you want,” Rin said after a moment of silence.

Kisumi was looking at Haru with a face full of hope, but Haru just stormed away, holding the goggles by the straps at arms length in front him.

“Uh, why…” Makoto began weakly.

“Why the hell did you spit in my goggles?” Rin snapped.

“What?” Kisumi said, his face falling. “I was just doing the ritual.”

“What ritual?” Rei asked.

“Isn’t that how you wish someone good luck in swimming? By spitting in their goggles?”

“No,” Rei said, looking very concerned. “It’s really not.”

“Are you sure? I have it on very good authority. I mean, it’s kinda weird, but it’s like a swimming tradition, isn’t it?”

“Sorry, but, um…no,” said Makoto

“But…but that’s what Sousuke _told_ me!” Kisumi wailed. “The other day when I told him I was gonna be watching the competition! I asked him if there was some way I could show my support and he said I should spit in Haru’s goggles. He said Haru would really appreciate it!”

The laughter that had been bubbling up in Rin’s throat got stuck there, but he forced it out anyway since Rei and Makoto were laughing too.

“Argh, that _bastard_!” Kisumi groaned as he threw himself down next to Rin. “I can’t believe he tricked me! He _knew_ I would do it, too! God, he’s such a prick sometimes. I’ll do worse than spit in his goggles the next time I see him. You’d better back me up Rin.”

“Uh, right,” Rin said, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“Shit, Haru’s never gonna talk to me ever again, is he?”

“I think you’ll be ok,” Makoto said. “Maybe you actually did him a favor. You know, while it’s definitely not for luck, swimmers do actually spit in their goggles. It’s a really good way to clean them when they fog up.”

Rin nodded in agreement. “That’s true.”

“Really?” asked Kisumi asked hopefully. “Wow, swimmers are really gross.”

“So maybe that’s what Sousuke meant,” Makoto said.

“No, no. That stupid jerk was definitely messing with me. Right, Rin?”

“I’ve never heard of that spitting thing,” Rei said, sounding perplexed, and Rin latched onto that instead of answering Kisumi.

“What, that it cleans your goggles? Haven’t you ever tried it?”

Rei looked appalled “Of course not! I would never do something so unseemly! You can’t tell me that it actually works!”

“Sure it does!” Rin said, laughing for real this time. “Here, give me your glasses and I’ll show you.”

The sputtering, outraged lecture on hygiene that Rei gave in response to this offer lasted until it was time for the freestyle relay Haru was participating in to begin.

“…Man,” Kisumi commented when the others all leaned into the railing, watching the race intently. “You guys sure are relay-crazy.”

“They’re kinda special,” Rin said.

“Aw, that’s cute. Yay for teamwork.”

Rin flipped him off, not taking his eyes off the pool.

“That _is_ kind of the point, though,” Makoto explained as he batted Rin’s hand back down. “Swimming’s an individual sport, so relays are the only real opportunity to feel like you’re part of a cohesive team.”

“Right, that makes sense. It’s still cute, though.”

Haru dived in to swim the last leg. The team had started out strong, and Haru was already meters in front of everyone else.

“Haruka-senpai’s in incredible form today,” Rei said.

“Seriously.” Rin nodded.

“Definitely,” Makoto added.

“Eh. I guess.”

At that moment, Haru came in first, and the others all turned around to stare at Kisumi, who shrugged.

“Like… he’s _fast_ , for sure, but it’s not getting me hot or anything.” He started laughing and added, “I mean, I’m not turned on like you guys so obviously are. What’s your deal? Is his swimming really _that_ out of the ordinary? Like, how do you even gauge that sort of thing? It’s all just forward propulsion isn’t it? I mean, he’s not _posing_ or whatever. It’s not like he’s trying to—Stop looking at me like that.”

“He doesn’t get it,” said Rei, completely mystified.

“It’s probably because he’s not a swimmer,” Rin said reasonably. “Of course he wouldn’t be able to appreciate it the way it was meant be.”

“I can appreciate it just fine,” Kisumi grumbled. “I mean, he won, didn’t he? He must be doing _something_ right…Doesn’t look very happy about it, though, does he?”

Haru was standing off to the side while the other relay team members celebrated. It was true, he didn’t seem to be excited about it the same way they were, but—

“That’s just how he is,” Rin said. He turned to Rei. “What’s that thing Nagisa’s always saying? He’s smiling on the inside, or whatever?”

“Right…” Rei said, though he looked a little uncertain now.

“Rin, your relay’s starting soon, isn’t?” Makoto said, still staring down at Haru. “You should probably get going.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Rin stood to leave, pausing at the rail to cast one last look at Haru. He was looking a little more impassive than usual, which probably meant _something_ was going through his head.

“Don’t worry about him,” Makoto said, as though reading his mind. “You know what crowds do to him. Besides, the medley relay’s his favorite. I’m sure he’ll perk himself up for that.”

“Somehow the words ‘Haru’ and ‘perk’ don’t really go together,” Rin said with a laugh. “But yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Enjoy those team dynamics, Rin!”

“Good luck, Rin-san!”

Rin spared a smile for Rei— _just_ Rei—and left the stands.

 

While it was unclear whether Haru actually perked himself up for the medley relay or not, in the end it didn’t matter. He swam the way he always did—single-mindedly and effortlessly, regardless of his mood—and led them to victory, marking Rin’s fourth consecutive win of the day and the very first winning streak of his life.

Had Iwashima not been present, Rin would have cried.

As it happened, he managed to wait until he was alone in the bathroom. As embarrassing as that was. Rin couldn’t help it, though. He’d _earned_ this. He’d worked _so_ _hard_ for this—harder than he had in his life up to this point, he was pretty sure—and it had actually paid off.

Now all he had to do was keep that momentum going.

By the time Rin managed to compose himself, the last of the races had finished and the closing ceremony had already taken place. It was a shame he’d had to skip it, but there wasn’t a chance in hell he was going out there in his state. Not with _people_ watching.

It didn’t take Rin long to find the others afterwards. They were hanging around by the bus the team had come on, and Kisumi could be heard pleading with Haru a mile away.

“—already said I was sorry! No way am I buying you new ones—they weren’t even _your_ goggles in the first place!”

“I don’t care.”

“You know, you should be grateful! I bet my spit was the reason you _won_.”

“Kisumi-san, it’s highly unlikely your saliva contains any providential properties whatso—Ah, Rin-san!”

Rei was the first to spot Rin. He smiled as Rin approached and looked like he was to going to say something to him, but Kisumi beat him to it.

“Hey, Rin! Nice job out there. The power of teamwork served you guys well. You know, I think I might have actually teared up a little toward the end there.”

“Don’t make fun,” Makoto chided gently as Rin automatically brought a hand up to rub at his eyes.

“Yeah, can’t you tell he’s been crying for the last twenty minutes?” Haru added unnecessarily.

“You really were amazing today,” Rei said to him, and Rin smiled gratefully.

“Well…thanks.” He pushed some hair behind his ear, suddenly feeling a bit shy. “And um, thanks for coming.”

“Oh, you’re _so_ welcome,” Kisumi butted in—quite literally forcing himself between them and throwing an arm around Rin’s shoulders. “It was a great way to kill seven hours. And believe me when I say that I was absolutely not at all bored at any point.”

“And I was absolutely not _talking_ to you!” Rin snapped, almost irrationally annoyed at the interruption. Rei, on the other hand, kind of looked like he wanted to laugh.

“Well, anyway,” Makoto said. “We know you and Haru have to go back with the team, but do you want to go to dinner after that? You know, to celebrate?”

“And a trip to the sporting goods store seems imminent,” Kisumi added. Haru was glaring at him again. “I mean, apparently I owe one of you goggles. You guys can decide that amongst yourselves.”

“Yeah, dinner sounds good,” Rin said, still looking at Rei.

Rei smiled. “Actually, I’m going to dinner with my parents later. They extended an invitation to you as well, Rin-san…Of course, given what happened, I would completely understand if you didn’t want to come.”

“Oh my God, what happened?” Kisumi asked eagerly, looking from Rei to Rin. They both ignored him.

“Well, Rin-san? Shall I go ahead and decline for you?”

There was a challenge in the way Rei was looking at him and Rin found himself grinning.

“Not a chance,” he said haughtily. “I accept their invitation.”

“Why do they sound like they’re about to throwdown?” Kisumi whispered to Makoto, who shrugged.

“Well, I guess we’ll see you later then, Rin. Good job today!” he said, and he began herding Haru and Kisumi a small distance away.

Rei stayed behind with Rin, and now that they were alone, self-awareness settled over them like a faintly uncomfortable blanket. They both glanced away from each other, and Rin rocked back on his heels while Rei stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“…Um,” Rin began, hitching the strap of his duffel bag higher on his shoulder. “So, what time were your parents thinking of going? ‘Cause…I mean, I should probably, like, shower first.”

“Around seven, I think?” Rei consulted his watch. “I’m fairly certain that’s when their concert ends. But…you know you don’t _actually_ have to come, right?”

Rin blinked at him, slightly taken aback. “I…Oh, sorry, do you not want me to come? I just thought—”

“No, no, it’s not that!” Rei said quickly. “I do. It’s just…you’re not obligated. I wasn’t trying to pressure you or anything.”

“Actually, I think that’s exactly what you were doing,” Rin said slyly. Because Rei _knew_ he couldn’t turn down a challenge once issued. “But…it’s ok.”

“Look, I know I said all those things this morning,” Rei said quietly. “But…you don’t have to force yourself to be around me because you think it’s what I want.”

Rin knew he couldn’t possibly be talking about just dinner anymore, and for the first time he realized how unfairly he’d been treating Rei since this whole ordeal began. He’d begged for Rei’s forgiveness, and when that didn’t feel like enough, Rin had proceeded to ignore and avoid him until he’d snapped and given Rin the reprimand he’d decided he needed. He’d basically spent the week waiting for Rei to fix what Rin had broken—making Rei reassure him over and over when he should have been reassuring Rei.

“Don’t worry about that,” Rin said firmly. “I want to. Dinner, I mean. I want to go to dinner with you—and your parents. And…stuff.”

Rei still looked a little worried. “Well, if you’re sure…”

Rin punched him in the shoulder. “Of course I’m sure! Geez, why do you always have to make such a big deal out of everything? It’s _dinner_. Besides,” he added with a wide smile, “It’ll be sort of commemorative. I am officially done avoiding any and all members of the Ryugazaki family.”

Rin didn’t really know what kind of reaction this pronouncement would receive, but Rei blushing up to the tips of his ears would have ranked low on the list of possibilities.

Rin gaped at him in horror. “Are—are you ok?!”

“I’m fine!” Rei cried, scrunching up his eyes and fists, as though he could get his coloring back down through sheer force of will. “I just—I don’t know how you managed to say that out loud! It was really embarrassing for some reason!”

“N-no it wasn’t!” Rin spluttered, his own face rapidly turning red. “And—and even if it _was_ , you say much more embarrassing things all the time!”

“I do not!”

“Have you ever _listened_ to yourself? I wanna die every time you open your mouth!”

“That’s a horrible thing to say!”

“And it’s the tru—!”

A whistle sounded at that moment, signaling the team to start loading onto the bus. Rin and Rei glanced away from each other again.

“…Well, anyway” Rin said, rubbing the back of his head. “I guess I’ll see you at home?”

Rei nodded. “Right.”

Rin turned and headed for the bus, falling into step with Haru, who had just left Makoto and Kisumi.

Haru was smirking at him—well, as close as Haru ever came to smirking—and too late, Rin realized that they hadn’t actually been standing _that_ far away him and Rei.

Rin rolled his eyes, his blush returning with a vengeance. “…Shut up.” 

* * *

Rei’s parents ended up taking them to a very nice—very expensive—restaurant near their hotel. The food was excellent, and Rin nearly pulled a muscle trying to convince Rei’s parents to let him pay for his own meal. In the end, he was forced to give in for the sole reason that the Ryugazakis overpowered him in both number and volume.

Speaking of which, that number and volume made dinner an extremely lively affair. As Rin had suspected, this morning hadn’t just been them making up for his awkwardness; Rei’s parents were _always_ that talkative. It was entertaining, to say the least, even if Rin occasionally lost track of the conversation, thanks to the rapid-fire pace.

Possibly the best part (in Rin’s opinion) was the fact that Rei seemed to be in a perpetual state of mortification throughout the entire evening. Rin supposed he couldn’t really blame him. His parents obviously thought he was the greatest thing since hypoallergenic, latex-free gloves—an actual phrase used by his mom, the eye-doctor, at some point—and they pretty much talked about him like he wasn’t there. Rin swore he’d heard more about Rei’s track accomplishments by the end of the night than he had in four years of knowing Rei.

Rin smiled at Rei across the table as his parents took turns narrating the tale of a middle school tournament during which Rei had set a pole vaulting record, and Rei looked so pained that Rin almost started laughing.

It was amazing the sorts of things Rei chose to be humble about, especially when he was so self-aggrandizing about others. Rei could boast on and on about something stupid like mastering the science of pastry folding or swimming for 25 meters without coming up for air, but apparently something like setting a track and field record—something that was _actually_ impressive—didn’t merit the same treatment.

It was strange, Rin reflected. Strange…but charming. And he wondered, not for the fist time, why Rei had decided to abandon the sport he was so good at for one he’d had almost no aptitude for at all—at least not at first.

Despite Rin and Rei’s protests, Rei’s parents insisted on walking them back to their building and all the way to their apartment door, and they ended the night by giving Rin their business cards.

“I’m so sorry, we really should have done it this morning!” Rei’s mom cried as she dug around in her purse for one.

“He didn’t have pockets this morning,” Rei’s dad pointed out.  He pulled a card for Teshima Cryogenic Research Labs out of his pocket and handed it to Rin. “Let me know if you ever need any liquid nitrogen. If you can convince me you won’t freeze any of your extremities off, it’s all yours.”

“I found it!” Rei’s mom triumphantly emerged from the depths of her bag with an old-looking, slightly creased card, which she presented proudly. “Please stop by any time, Matsuoka-kun,” she told Rin. “It would be an absolute pleasure to perform an eye exam on you. Free of charge, of course. Judging by the way you were able to read those drink specials to me from that board on the other side of the restaurant, I’d say you’re in the 20/15 range. _Truly_ impressive. Though at the same time, such a shame—you have an excellent bone structure for glasses.”

“What have I told you about testing people without their knowledge?” Rei’s dad sighed.

Rin thanked them both for their kindness and generosity, and then went into his room to put their cards away and to give Rei some privacy with his parents before they left.

When he came back out, Rei was closing the door and the sounds of an argument could be heard all the way down the hall. Apparently sometime within the three minutes Rin had been inside his bedroom, Rei’s parents had somehow managed to rekindle their earlier disagreement about Rei’s favorite flavor of coffee.

“Do they realize they had that same conversation less than ten hours ago?” Rin asked.

“Probably not,” Rei replied. He leaned heavily against the door, looking absolutely exhausted. “And they’re destined to repeat it many more times after this. Which is completely pointless. I don’t even particularly _like_ flavored coffee.”

“Me neither,” Rin sighed.

They shared a moment of silent commiseration over that before Rei began fretting.

“I hope they don’t get lost on their way to the hotel. I probably should have walked them back. Do you think it’s too late for me to catch them?”

“I think they’ll be ok. Didn’t your dad use to live here?” Rin asked regarding him with some amusement. He wouldn’t have thought Rei was the type to worry over his parents like that.

“Yes, but you saw them. They’re probably still arguing about the coffee. I doubt they’re heeding street signs and traffic signals. They also have a tendency to wander off in different directions and start conversations with complete strangers and—Sorry,” Rei said, crossing his arms a little self-consciously. Then he shrugged. “I haven’t seen them in a while, and I guess I just never really noticed it before now, but…they’re getting old.”

He looked so utterly thrown by the realization that Rin wanted to laugh. Instead he just pulled Rei away from the door.

“Well, at least they’re doing it together,” he said as he led him to the couch, the sentimental words slipping out of him before he was able to stop them. He couldn’t really help it. Being around happy, middle-aged couples did that to him. Probably because he didn’t have a whole lot of personal experience with them.

Lucky for Rin, Rei seemed to have mistaken his meaning for _at least they’re walking back to their hotel together_ because he said, “But that just makes it worse. Especially at night. By the time they’re done arguing about who made the first wrong turn, they’ll have already made at least six more.”

“You know,” Rin said, sitting next to him and slouching down into a comfortable position. “Some of that’s not just because they’re getting old. You should be able to recognize that; you’re just like them, after all.”

Rei—who had seemingly unconsciously emulated Rin’s posture until they were both sprawled half on the couch and half off—looked shocked. “I am not!”

“You can’t honestly tell me you’ve never realized it! Seriously, Rei, meeting your parents explained _so much_. The mystery is practically solved!”

“And what mystery is that?”

“You know,” Rin gestured vaguely, unable to stop a laugh from huffing its way out of him. “…Your personality.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?! My personality is not a _mystery_ , Rin-san! There’s nothing mysterious about it at all! And that’s the _second_ awful thing you’ve said to me today,” Rei added crossly. “Even though I’ve been nothing but nice to you.”

Rin sobered at that, all desire to laugh suddenly dead and gone.

“…Yeah,” he said slowly. “You really have been.”

Rei's eyebrows furrowed slightly and he and Rin stared at each other.  They had angled their bodies until they were facing each other fully, heads resting against the back of the couch, their faces close enough that Rin could make out the tiny hairline scratches on the lenses of Rei’s glasses…

…Which probably meant they were _too_ close, Rin realized as his heart picked up tempo.

But…it was fine, wasn’t it? After all, Rei would have moved away if it wasn’t, right?

“…Um, anyway,” Rei said softly. And then he did move away, before Rin could even make up his mind about whether he wanted him to or not, and whatever weird connection had been going on between them was lost.

Rei was already on his feet by the time Rin managed to sit himself up straight.

“So, you’re probably tired, right?”

Rin nodded and stood up. “Yeah, I am.”

“And you want to go to bed, right?” Rei prompted. He was practically leading Rin out the awkward moment by a leash. Cute, but unnecessary...Kind of making it worse, actually.

“Very perceptive,” Rin said, turning off the lamp by the couch.

“Well, that’s me,” Rei said quietly, and Rin paused on his way to his bedroom.

“Are you coming? To bed, I mean.   _Your_ bed, I mean—” Rin grimaced, closing his eyes briefly before trying again. “Are you going to bed soon?”

Rei shook his head, smiling slightly in apparent amusement. “I have homework. But I’ll try not to stay up too late if the light bothers you.”

“It’s not really the _light_ that bothers me,” Rin said, but he didn’t continue that thought. He’d promised to back off about that and he hadn’t forgotten. “But…don’t worry about it. It’s my fault, anyway.You pretty much wasted the entire day at the meet. Sorry about that. ”

“I wouldn’t say I wasted it,” Rei said. “It’s not as though I didn’t want to be there.”

“That’s nice of you,” Rin yawned, and he started for his room again, stretching his arms over his head as he went. “But I know those things are boring as hell when you’re not swimming in them. Tell you what, you’re definitely off the hook for next time.”

“That—that’s very generous of you,” Rei said, sounding puzzled. “Um…Rin-san?”

“Yeah?” Rin turned to look back at him.

Rei was still standing by the couch, and there was a strange look on his face as he gazed at across the room at him, and for some reason, Rin’s heart started hammering again.

“I…” Rei began.

"Yeah?" Rin said again, much more intently this time.

Rei hesitated, his expression falling slightly. He shook his head. “Nothing. Just…Congratulations again. On your performance today.”

“…Oh. Um, ok. Thanks.”

Rin hovered awkwardly by his door, waiting for…something. But Rei didn’t say anything more, and Rin wasn’t entirely sure there was anything more _to_ say. So he cleared his throat. “Well…night.”

Rei nodded. “Good night.”

Unable to justify lingering any longer, Rin went into his room. And once the door was closed, he collapsed against it, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with him.

Because his stomach was suddenly all twisted up in an uncomfortable, anxious way, and it didn’t make any sense.

He’d had a really good day, after all. Things were finally looking up. There was no reason for him to feel like he’d just had something important snatched away from him. Because he hadn’t. At least he didn’t think so.

Rin stayed like that for a few minutes, willing his heart rate to go down and waiting for some moment of clarity to break through the haze.

It never did though. Rin went to bed jittery and confused that night, lost at sea in his own head with nothing solid to cling to. He couldn’t remember anything like this ever happening to him before. It wasn’t _bad_ , exactly, but it wasn’t particularly pleasant, either.

It was a complete mystery, this…feeling.

But…just for right now…he was inclined to blame it on Rei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Confused Rin voice* Wat is this thing called luv?
> 
> They're getting there. Very slowly. 
> 
> Anyway, idk how Rei's parents ended up in here. I just had a burning need for some reason. They're pretty much supposed to be Rei divided by 2. He's such a little weirdo that you really just have to assume he picked it all up at home.
> 
> Also, I'm not kidding about the spitting in goggles thing. It gets them soooo clean, it's the most satisfying thing in the world. But don't do it in other people's. That ain't sanitary.
> 
> There was actually a lot more to this chapter, but it was getting crazy long, so I had to cut it off. So Haru's bday and whatever else I skipped will be in the next. Sorry, I realize not a whole lot actually happened in this one.
> 
> Anyway, next time: ACTUALLY Haru's bday, another visitor, Rin breaks something, and we finally learn wtf Iwashima's damage is.
> 
> p.s. In case y'all were wondering, that night after the party while Rin was sleeping it off at Mikoshiba's, Rei was up all night agonizing about his newly discovered biting kink. Poor guy.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin's got 99 problems and only some of them are Rei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooooo mad. This chapter was supposed to FINALLY be the one where I get to write about Haru's birthday and the mysterious visitor and stuff. BUT ALAS. 
> 
> I waaaaaaaaaay underestimated how much wordspace Rin's angst was going to take up. So, yeah. Instead of a fun bday party and surprise guest, here's 30000 words of Rin having issues. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME. TO ME.
> 
> But before that: In case anyone missed it, here is art inspired by chapters  
> [Four](http://clowderr.tumblr.com/post/113984094613/okay-so-i-may-have-made-this-scene-more-shoujo)  
> [Six](http://clowderr.tumblr.com/post/118029747888/the-flutterbuddies)  
> and  
> [Seven](http://clowderr.tumblr.com/post/121352213928/he-blinked-groggily-at-rin-and-mikoshiba-and-they)  
> from the AMAZING artist Clowderr. If you like rinrei art or just gorgeous art in general, then be sure to check out the rest of her stuff.
> 
> And once again, thank you to  
> [Makariaarts](http://makariaartsabout.tumblr.com) for her wonderful, MUCH NEEDED beta work.
> 
> Enjoyyyyyyyy

The team was given Monday and Tuesday off in order to recover from the meet, and for once Rin felt like he actually deserved the break. However, as grateful as he was for the short amount of time he’d been given to rest his admittedly weary bones, he was more than eager to get back to training.

On Wednesday night, the coach announced the lineup for the competition in France. And even though Rin had already been aware he was on it, the news still came as something of a relief. There was no denying he’d done exceptionally well at the tournament last weekend—even to the point that the coach had taken him aside after they’d gotten back to campus to personally congratulate him—but Rin wasn’t about to get complacent. No matter how fast he’d been in one race, he would have to be faster in the next one. He couldn’t rely on his past times to carry him to the top. The greatest sin an athlete could commit was resting on their laurels. After all, the entire point of competing was to keep outdoing yourself over and over again.

“It sounds really exhausting when you put it like that,” Haru had said when Rin shared his thoughts during the walk home from practice.

“It is,” Rin said, and he wished Haru could muster a little enthusiasm. Was his own excitement at the prospect of working even harder not coming across clearly? “But, like… in a good way, right?”

Haru shrugged. “If you say so.”

“Well,” Rin said lightly, trying not to let his disappointment show. “I guess it’d be harder for you to understand. But the thing is, we can’t all just snap our fingers and magically become faster, you know?”

“I don’t snap my fingers,” Haru scoffed. “I just…Actually, I don’t really know what I do. It just sort of happens. But… I do get where you’re coming from. Putting that much effort into something can be really… satisfying. Or whatever.”

Rin nodded. “That’s about the gist of it, yeah. I mean, we’ve definitely got our work cut out for us in the next few months, but you’re looking forward to it, aren’t you?”

“Well, it is _swimming_ , isn’t it?” Haru replied blandly. “Not much I can object to there.”

“I guess not…” Rin said, casting him a sidelong glance and picking up absolutely nothing from his expression. That was pretty normal, though. It was damn near impossible getting Haru fired up about anything. Rin wasn’t quite sure why he was even trying. “Anyway,” he continued somewhat defeatedly as they approached his building. “See you around.”

“Rin,” Haru said, stopping him before he could climb the steps. “Um, listen—I know you can’t really stop yourself from looking ahead, but… or, what I mean is… you always talk like this right after tournaments…”

“Talk like what?” Rin said blankly.

Haru shook his head. “Like… like it doesn’t matter that you did well this time because you’re just going to do even better next time.”

“That’s kind of the point, though. Didn’t I just say—?”

“I know, I know.” Haru waved a hand impatiently. “But what _I’m_ saying is maybe don’t… get so caught up in thinking about the next hurdle that you—I don’t know… That you forget to be happy about the ones you already jumped. Or something like that,” he added with a shrug.

“Oh,” Rin said, tilting his head to the side. He’d been a little confused as to where Haru was going with this when he’d started, but he was pretty sure he got it. “I—no, yeah, totally. I know I did alright. I’m happy.”

“I’d say you did more than alright,” Haru said with a roll of his eyes. “But whatever. As long as you _are_ actually happy.”

“I am. I… yeah. I am.”

And he was pretty sure he meant it, too.

It wasn’t in Rin’s nature to celebrate minor victories. Not when he had his eyes on the bigger picture. He tended to see things like last weekend’s competition more as pit stops than anything else. Just something he needed to get through on the way to his ultimate destination. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t happy he _had_ gotten through it.

Rin was definitely happy. Maybe not in the most general sense of the word—not with things still up in the air with Sousuke, and Iwashima all over his shit, and Rei throwing him for a loop on an almost daily basis.

But as far as swimming went, Rin could honestly say that he was on the right track. Everything seemed to be falling into place just like he’d planned, and at the rate he was going, there wasn’t a whole lot that could get in his way…

Which, in retrospect, was _exactly_ why Rin should have seen it coming.

Things _were_ going well weren’t they? Really well, in fact. And that just wasn’t normal. Life rarely cooperated with him like that. So statistically speaking, it had to be only a matter a time before something came along and messed everything up for him.

It started on Friday.

Rin had made it through more than half of his morning run with Rei before he felt it, and when he did, he stopped in his tracks, causing Rei, who had kindly given him a bit of a head start going home, to crash into him.

“ _Warn_ me before you do that,” Rei huffed as he adjusted his skewed glasses. “Or better yet, don’t do that at all. What’s the matter?”

“I... Nothing. It’s—” Rin broke off, still breathing hard.

“Are you alright? You look sort of pale.”

Rin snapped out of it and shook his head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a cramp or something.”

Rei’s concerned expression morphed into something a little more disapproving. “That’s probably because you didn’t stretch before we started,” he said. “You know, it really wouldn’t kill you to get up five minutes earlier to do some lunges or a few leg lifts. I know you only run recreationally, but that’s no excuse for failing to warm up properly. I’d have thought an athlete of your caliber would know better than that.”

“Yup, my bad,” Rin said quickly. And, ignoring Rei’s look of obvious surprise that he hadn’t argued with him, he continued, “But, uh, listen, I’m not really feeling up to it anymore, so I think I’m gonna walk back. Do you mind?”

“I—Of course not.” Rei seemed startled, which was understandable; ordinarily, Rin would sooner sprint himself into cardiac arrest than admit he needed to slow down. ”But… is it alright if I… I have class in half an hour, you see, and I sort of need to…” he trailed off apologetically

“Oh… Oh!” Rin blurted, comprehension dawning. “Yeah, yeah, yeah! Feel free to ditch me.”

“It sounds sort of harsh when you put it like that.”

Rin laughed nervously. “Sorry… But seriously, it’s fine. Just go on without me.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

“Totally. Believe it or not, I _have_ actually made it home without an escort before.”

Rei eyed him suspiciously. “…Very well.”

“See you later,” Rin said with a cheerful wave.

Rei cast him one last look, but apparently decided that whatever Rin’s problem was, it wasn’t worth being late for class. Rin watched him disappear around the corner, his relief short-lived as the muscle in his lower back gave another slight twinge beneath his fingers.

He heaved a deep, slightly shuddery sigh and began walking home.

By the time poli-sci came around, Rin had managed to put it out of his mind. At least for the most part. If he didn’t think too hard about it, ignoring the prickle of pain that came from shifting the wrong way or putting too much weight on one leg was the easiest thing in the world.

Luckily, Rin’s classes were doing a good job keeping him occupied. And… it didn’t even hurt _that_ much, he reasoned as he dug around his backpack for his lunch. Honestly. He’d probably just slept in a weird position last night or something.

Rei had packed him curry today, which, if he were being perfectly honest, was not Rin’s favorite food. He wasn’t about to complain, though. At this point, Rei could pack him a can of cat food and a spoon and Rin would happily dig in. After everything he’d put Rei through, it was a miracle he was still bothering to make him lunch at all.

Out of habit, Rin glanced at his napkin as he unpacked the various containers. Ever meticulous, Rei always made sure to include a full nutritional summary of the meals he prepared. Of course, Rin rarely took the time to read what was written before putting the napkin to more practical use, seeing as he didn’t particularly care one way or another. Well, that wasn’t _quite_ true. As an athlete, Rin did like to pay attention to what he put in his body, and he was somewhat interested in dietary theory—or at least he was when he had more time to devote to his meals. But he was well aware that Rei would never dream of feeding him anything less than completely wholesome, so he didn’t actually need the details.

Today however, Rin was entirely grateful for the distraction and he looked over all of Rei’s notes with enthusiasm. It wasn’t the most riveting reading material, but it was better than sitting there with nothing but his own, increasingly negative thoughts. Besides, given how thorough Rei had been, maybe Rin owed it to him to start reading these things on a more regular basis. He actually felt a little bad about how much trouble Rei seemed to be going to.

Aside from the ingredients and measurements, Rei had also painstakingly outlined all the health benefits present in curry, which happened to be so numerous that they took up four whole napkins. And that wasn’t even the last of it, as a fifth napkin had been devoted to what appeared to be a hastily written postscript warning Rin about the bay leaves. _I only included them to provide flavor, and they should by no means be consumed because they weren’t cooked nearly long enough to be considered digestible and could potentially lodge themselves in your esophagus, perforate your stomach lining, or cause intestinal blockage, all of which would be extremely painful and possibly fatal. But other than that, please enjoy._

A surprised snort escaped from Rin when he read that, sending a badly timed sip of water splashing onto his shirt and the table in front of him. Half-coughing and half-chuckling, he used the napkin to wipe it up. Then, on a whim, he took out his phone and sent Rei a quick text—REI I SWALLOWED A BAY LEAF WHAT DO I DO—before he started eating.

And as far as curry went, it was pretty good. Not that he’d expect anything less from Rei. Although, the bay leaf thing was making it a little hard to enjoy it to the fullest extent. Not because one had lodged itself in his esophagus, but because he was still kind of laughing about it, which made it almost impossible to chew and swallow properly.

 _Weirdo_ , he thought, although he wasn’t entirely sure if he was referring to Rei or himself. Probably both. Rei was… weird in general. And Rin was most _definitely_ weird for finding it so completely delightful.

Rei texted back rather quickly, which probably meant he was having lunch right now, as well. He usually ignored any messages he got during class.

 

 **Message:** DONT PANIC RIN-SAN. YOULL PROBABLY SURVIVE BUT YOU SHOULD GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM RIGHT AWAY.

 

 **Message:** WHERE ARE YOU? DO YOU WANT ME TO COME WITH YOU?

 

 **Message:** IM SO SORRY I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THEM OUT MYSELF BUT THE RECIPE SAID TO JUST LEAVE THEM IN THERE IM REALLY SORRY

 

 **Reply:** Just kidding!

 

There was a long pause, and then—

**Message:** Don’t scare me like that! I practically ran out in the middle of a lecture!

 

 **Reply:** Aww you’re too much. Also, wow. Texting during class. That’s not very studious of you.

 

 **Message:** I THOUGHT it was an emergency.

 

The hall was rapidly filling up with more people now, and Rin had to force himself to keep his laughter in check. It was entirely too easy for him to imagine the face Rei was probably making.

He began typing another reply, but at that moment, Iwashima slid into his usual seat next to him. Rin froze and had to combat the sudden urge to fling his phone across the room.

For reasons unknown to Rin, Iwashima’s harassment—if that was in fact what he was going for—had gotten somewhat more… virulent as of late. Seriously—the guy had no concept of boundaries and considered any and all aspects of Rin’s person fair game. Though he did seem a bit fixated on some more than others. And it was _baffling_. Rin hadn’t done a thing to him. At least nothing he could remember. Iwashima had even admitted that he wasn’t acting on any sort of provocation. He was—if he were to be taken at his word—merely entertaining himself.

Rin had briefly entertained the notion of changing seats so he could at least get some sort of reprieve during class, but ultimately realized that would probably cause more problems than it would solve. It was a full lecture hall and he wasn’t about to steal someone else’s spot. Besides, Iwashima would just brand him as a coward for running away from him.

And anyway, Rin wasn’t scared of him. Annoyed, certainly, but not scared. In fact, at this point, he’d pretty much gotten used to it.

That was why he was mildly surprised when Iwashima didn’t start in on him as soon as he sat down. He usually had some sort of opening line—an observation to make, an insult to hurl. But today… nothing. He just put his feet up on the table, helped himself to Rin’s bag of chips, and began playing with his phone.

“…Can I help you?” he said, once he noticed Rin eyeing him warily.

Rin shook his head and decided not to question it. Maybe this was a sign that he was finally losing interest. At least, Rin _hoped_ that was it.

He turned his attention back to his phone.

 

 **Reply:** Sorry, sorry. By the way, I’m not saying those notes of yours are a huge waste of napkins, but…

 

 **Message:** They most certainly are not. Why should I write them on a separate piece of paper when you’re going to be using the napkins anyway? It’s like conservation. Or recycling? One of those.

 

 **Reply:** Conservation, I think. But I’m saying you don’t have to write them at all. It’s not like it’s vital information. Save yourself some time.

 

 **Message:** But I enjoy doing the research. And of course it’s vital information! Not just in regards to nutrition—it’s also a matter of safety. Are you saying you’d rather I hadn’t warned you about the bay leaves?

 

 **Reply:** Hate to break it to you, but those aren’t actually dangerous.

**Message:** And how would you know that?

 

 **Reply:** I do cook occasionally, you know. Anyway, it’s a complete myth and you fell for it. So much for your research!

 

The ellipsis that subsequently appeared on Rin’s screen instead of an immediate response told him that he might have gone too far. Rin smirked to himself and put his phone back in his pocket, figuring it’d probably be a while before Rei finished typing his rebuttal.

When he finally looked up, Iwashima was staring at him. Not an unusual occurrence, but still kind of discomforting nevertheless. Rin let out a breath, steeling himself for the onslaught of abuse.

“Matsuoka…” he began, “what’s your current record for the 200 fly?”

Rin blinked at him in surprise. “Um… 1:54.”

Iwashima nodded and glanced back down at his phone. “Would that be short course or long course?”

“Long course, obviously. I’ve never timed it in a short course pool.”

“Can I get an estimate, then?” Iwashima pressed.

“Why?” Rin crossed his arms, eying him with distrust.

“’Cause I’m interested. Now tell me!”

“I don’t know!” Rin snapped, slightly alarmed by the intensity of Iwashima’s gaze. “1:50? 1:52, maybe?”

A weird look passed over Iwashima’s face, but Rin’s phone vibrated again before he could say anything.

As Rin had anticipated, Rei had written what could be considered a short essay. It was one part scholarly, two parts indignant, and completely hilarious. Especially since Rin had no trouble visualizing Rei saying the words in person. By the time Rin finished reading, he was grinning broadly. There was just something weirdly satisfying about getting Rei all riled up. Given how easy it was, Rin would have thought he’d be bored with it by now, but he never, ever was.

“And how is the unidentified figure on this fine day?” Iwashima inquired, and Rin returned to reality with a start.

Ah. There it was. Iwashima may have had his bad qualities, but at least he was consistent.

“Completely fabricated, as usual,” Rin replied blandly.

“You’re so _withholding,_ ” Iwashima said with an exaggerated sigh. “Come on, I’m just _dying_ to know the name of the person who’s brave enough to let you use that bear trap of a mouth on him.” He hooked his fingers on either side of his lips and pulled them away from his teeth. “I feel like someone should give him a medal. Or a band-aid.”

Rin rolled his eyes and turned away.

“Hmm… You know, all joking aside,” Iwashima added, watching him pull his materials from his backpack. “I totally get it.”

“Get what?” Rin asked as he flipped to a clean page of his notebook.

“What your deal is.”

“That so?” Rin lifted his water bottle to his lips and looked at his watch. Geez, where was the professor? Shouldn’t class have started by now?

Iwashima nodded sagely. “Yup. I’m not dumb, you know. I sure can understand why you’d be a bit reticent about the subject. I mean, let’s not play make-believe here. It’s not exactly a great _career_ move, is it?”

Rin choked on the swig of water he’d just taken.

“It’s just,” Iwashima continued as he smacked a spluttering Rin on the back, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t sponsors usually kind of put off by that sort of thing? If we’re going by current patterns, I mean. You’re probably ok for the time being, though. You haven’t broken into the big leagues yet. So it’s not like you have to worry about bad press… At least not right now.”

“UM,” Rin said, and Iwashima rested his cheek on his fist and smiled winsomely at him.

“By the way, have you thought of a contingency plan yet? Like, if anyone asks, he’s actually your cousin. Your very, very _close_ cousin.”

Fortunately, the professor chose that moment to walk into the room—five minutes late—so Rin’s next big “UM” never made it out of him.

He honestly had no idea what Iwashima had intended with that spiel, but if it had been to make Rin very red and very angry, then he could've considered it mission accomplished.

And… it was probably unrelated, but… his back had started hurting again. Which was a bummer. He’d almost managed to forget about it.

* * *

Rin made it through the rest of the day relatively unscathed. This thing going on with his back was… troubling. He was in a little bit of pain, but not enough to warrant much thought beyond the occasional _Ow, shit._ And he definitely wasn’t feeling it enough to even consider skipping practice.

Though, in retrospect, maybe he would have been better off skipping after all. Not because of his back, but because Iwashima had apparently decided that he hadn’t tormented Rin enough during class that day.

Well, not that what he did could really be considered “tormenting.” He barely said a word to Rin. He _did_ , however, spend a majority of the night in the lane right next to Rin’s, trapping him in a series of races he didn’t want to be a part of. Mostly butterfly, since that happened to be what Rin was concentrating on that evening.

It was unsettling, to say the least. Especially since Iwashima seemed to be taking it rather seriously. Which was weird, since he was more known for his backstroke than anything else. But maybe he was looking to expand his horizons. Iwashima usually entered at least one butterfly race during competition, but he and Rin were always in different heats, so this was the first time Rin had ever seen him swim it up close. And… he wasn’t _bad_. He never quite managed to beat Rin, but he came close once or twice.

And, alright, maybe Rin had been putting a little more effort into it for that very reason. Just the thought of losing to that idiot made his blood boil, so he did everything in his power to stay ahead of him. 

Consequently—satisfying though it had been at the time—by the end of practice, Rin was… well, a little more _sore_ than he had any business being. The muscle in his back, which up until that point only hurt if he moved in certain way, had begun to throb in a dull, but distressingly _persistent_ way.

Rin attempted to get a look at it in one of the full-length mirrors lining the locker room walls, but the glass was too foggy from the stream coming from the showers for him to see much. From what he could tell, though, there didn’t seem to be any sign of injury. Everything looked pretty normal.

“Hey, Matsuoka, if you’re done admiring your own ass, I’d kinda like to get by.”

Rin jolted and hastily moved aside so that Iwashima, who’d just gotten out of the shower, could pass him. He probably shouldn’t have been doing that here, he realized, his heart giving a nervous little stutter. He didn’t want to draw any suspicion.

“By the way,” Iwashima added as he towel-dried his hair. “It was fun racing you today. We should do it again.”

“Why, did you get some sort of kick out of losing?” Rin said tersely.

“Something like that. I don’t know why, but I’ve really been feelin’ the butterfly lately.”

“That’s nice.” Rin started throwing stuff into his duffel bag. “Do you think you could go feel it somewhere else? You’re blocking my locker.”

Iwashima hesitated, his features flickering with that same expression he’d briefly worn that afternoon when they’d been talking about Rin’s times. Just like that afternoon, though, it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared, and the next moment Iwashima was smiling benignly and moving out of the way.

“We’ll do it again,” he said as he brushed past Rin, and the words sounded like an eerie sort of promise.

Rin watched him go, feeling a little uneasy. But eventually he just shook his head and decided to not to pay him any mind. If Iwashima wanted to get his ass kicked in butterfly, that wasn’t Rin’s problem.

Besides, he thought as his back gave another little thrum of pain, right now Iwashima was the least of his worries.

 

It was the same story the next day.

Rin tried to go running and his back hurt. He went to the gym and his back hurt. He went to _practice_ and his back hurt, and unfortunately, unlike his run and trip to the gym, that really wasn’t something he could cut short.

It wasn’t unbearable, and manifested mostly during breaststroke and butterfly, both of which required a great deal of lower body traction. Luckily for Rin, breaststroke wasn’t really his area of focus. _Butterfly_ , on the other hand…

Rin tried his best not to worry about it, but… it was getting a little hard to ignore. But hopefully it would sort itself out by end of the weekend.

On Sunday, Rin’s rest day, he stayed at home and made sure to do nothing that could be considered active. He’d been confident that a day spent reposing on the couch was just what he needed. He’d been working too hard lately—he could admit that. And if this whole back-issue was a sign that he needed to take a break for twenty-four hours, then Rin was more than happy to do so. As long as it really _was_ just twenty-four hours. He really couldn’t spare any more than that.

By that evening, however, it became clear that staring at the TV for nine hours straight was not the grand solution to his problems that Rin had thought it would be.

When the last show he’d saved on his DVR ended and Rin hoisted himself into an upright sitting position, the very first thing he noticed was that he was completely stiff from the neck down. Reasonable, given that he’d been lying in the same position since he’d moved from his bed to the couch that morning.

But what _wasn’t_ reasonable was the way his lower back seemed to _spasm_ as he lifted his arms above his head in an attempt to stretch out his cramped muscles.

Rin froze in alarm. He let his arms fall and brought a hand to the affected area. Or at least what he thought was the affected area. He pressed down a bit and didn’t feel anything. The pain had gone as abruptly as it had come, which, true, Rin had kind of gotten used to. But it had never been that… _intense_ before now.

Rin sprang up from the couch and ran into the bathroom, his heart pounding almost unbearably loud in his ears. He lifted his shirt up and tried to get a look at his back in the mirror over the sink, but it just wasn’t big enough. All Rin could see was his own (frankly _terrified_ ) face and about two thirds of his back.

He spent another minute craning his head around and trying to look at himself without the mirror, until the crick in his neck forced him to admit defeat.

Left without any other options, Rin burst out of the bathroom and marched straight up to Rei’s bedroom.

“Rei!” he called as banged on the door, his voice strained with barely concealed panic. “Can you come out here?”

There was no answer for a long moment, and Rin managed to hit the pause button on his meltdown long enough to wonder if Rei was actually home. He _thought_ he was. He could distinctly recall Rei coming back from the library about an hour ago because he’d stopped on his way to his room to make some snide remark about Rin rotting his brain on soap operas. But maybe he’d slipped out again without Rin noticing.

He was about to pound on the door again when he finally heard some movement from the other side. A moment later it swung open to reveal an exceedingly drowsy-looking Rei.

“What?” he said curtly.

“I—” Rin hesitated as he got a good look at Rei’s drawn face and the way his hair was sticking up on one side. “I’m sorry—were you _asleep_ just now?”

That was weird. It was only about seven o’clock. Usually Rei was up doing homework until the early hours of the morning.

 _He must have conked out at his desk_ , Rin realized. Without thinking, he reached out to touch one of Rei’s cheeks, which bore the indentations of what appeared to the buttons of a calculator.

Rei batted his hand away before he could make contact. “I was resting my eyes,” he said, straightening his glasses. “Was there something you wanted?”

“I…” Rin shook his head slightly and tried to stick his hand in his pocket before realizing he was wearing the one pair of sweatpants he owned that didn’t have any. Then he remembered why he was here and his sense of urgency returned to him in full force. “Yes! I need you!”

He took a small step back and began pulling off his shirt.

“W-What are you _doing_!?”

Rin paused, his shirt halfway over his head. He lowered it back down so he could get a look at Rei, who seemed much more awake than he had a few seconds ago. He was blushing crimson and staring at him with wide eyes.

Rin took a deep breath. “I need you to do something for me.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I—I just—” Rin broke off, feeling more on edge by the second. “I’ve been experiencing some… mild back pain for last couple of days,” he explained as calmly as he could. “And I’m having trouble identifying the… origin.”

“What sort of pain do you mean?” Rei asked, catching on immediately.

“I don’t… Um. It feels like it’s probably muscle strain or something. But I’ve never—so I don’t actually _know_ , and I…” Rin looked away, not entirely comfortable meeting Rei’s serious gaze. “It’s probably nothing, but… it’s there, and it shouldn’t be. So if you could just…”

“Do you think you might have… overdone it preparing for the competition these past few weeks?” Rei asked carefully, and Rin gritted his teeth, since that was _exactly_ what he’d thought.

“I don’t know, ok?” he lied. “But just—Listen, just do me a favor and make sure there’s not, like—a _bone_ or whatever sticking out where it’s not supposed to, and I’ll get out of your hair.”

Rei crossed his arms, eyeing him doubtfully. “This really sounds like something you should see a doctor about. Especially if it’s lasted for a few days.”

“Not necessary,” Rin said swiftly, waving that idea away. “You’re good enough.”

“That’s terribly flattering, but I’m afraid I have to disagree.”

Rin rolled his eyes, unable to hold in an impatient sigh. “Rei, are you gonna help me or not?”

“I’m not really qualified to—”

“Oh, for God’s sake, I’m not asking you to realign my spine! I just need you to figure out where the problem is because unfortunately, I can’t actually _look_ at my own back! But if you _really_ think something like that is beyond you, then fine. Go back to ‘resting your eyes.’ I’ll just have to find a way to unscrew my neck and turn it a full 180 deg—”

“Alright, alright!” Rei snapped. He grabbed Rin’s arm and yanked him into his bedroom.

“What are you _doing!?_ ” it was Rin’s turn to cry.

“There’s not enough light out there,” Rei said as he led him over to his desk. He let go of Rin’s arm and adjusted his lamp until it was directed at him.

“Oh…” Rin said, shifting uncomfortably as the light hit him. He suddenly felt a bit nervous for some reason—in a way that didn’t really have anything to do with his back. But Rei was looking at him expectantly, so he pushed that aside and reached for his shirt.

Once it was off, he and Rei stood there self-consciously for a moment. Well, _Rin_ was self-conscious. Which was weird, since this was definitely not the least covered-up Rei had ever seen him.

Rei cleared his throat. “So… what exactly is it that you want me to do?”

“I don’t know. I guess just poke around until I say ow?”

“How very scientific,” Rei said drily, gesturing for Rin to turn around.

“Lower back, left side,” Rin told him, already beginning to regret the impulse that had driven him to Rei’s door. Rei positioned himself behind him, and Rin crossed his arms over his chest, for lack of anything better to do with them.

“…Alright,” Rei said, once they were situated. “I guess I’m going to… start now.”

“Awesome, thanks for the blow-by-blow,” Rin snapped with an embarrassed roll of his eyes. “You're really— _GAH!_ ”

Pain bloomed in the spot Rei had pressed down on, quick and stabbing, and Rin nearly buckled over. He grabbed the edge of Rei’s desk and managed to keep himself upright. “…Ngh…Good aim,” he said weakly.

“It’s kind of red,” Rei explained, sounding apologetic. Rin stiffened.

“I—Well, I’ve been pawing at it all day,” he said as Rei removed his hand from the tender muscle. “That’s probably why.”

“Maybe,” Rei said. Without warning, he put his hand back and Rin nearly jumped out of his skin— because first of all, Rei’s fingers were genuinely freezing, and… well, ok, _second_ of all, they were also kind of near his ass—but Rin could ignore that easily! There were much more pressing matters!

“The area’s slightly warm, as well,” Rei murmured as he felt around a bit. “But I suppose that too could be explained by you rubbing it.”

“Y-yeah,” Rin said, trying to suppress a shudder as Rei gently ran a thumb over his skin. “I mean… I’ve barely left it alone for the past three days.”

“Is this the only place you feel any pain?”

“Uh. No. It’s kind of…” Rin hesitated before reaching behind him and putting his hand on top of Rei’s. He guided it up his back a bit and rested it there. “…around here, too.”

“I see. So, that would make it… your quandratus lumborum and… part of your thoracolumbar fascia.”

Rin laughed a little shakily. “That’s... impressive. How do you know the names?”

“Too much time spent around your sister,” Rei said, and that was really all the explanation Rin needed.

He lifted Rei’s hand off his back and turned around to face him. “Um. What do you think it is?”

Rei shrugged. “Sciatica, maybe?”

“I’m _nineteen_.”

“It’s actually quite common among athletes, regardless of age.”

“I don’t think that’s it.”

“Pulled muscle, then?”

“Doesn’t hurt _that_ much.”

Rei raised an eyebrow. “Well, then it’s probably muscle strain, like you said.”

“But… is that bad?”

“Well, it’s not _good_.”

“Yeah, I _know_ that,” Rin said impatiently. “But it’s not, like, _serious_. I mean, it’ll probably just go away on its own, right?”

Rei shrugged again. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Why are you being like that?!” Rin snapped, some of his previous agitation making a return.

“Being like what?” Rei asked, blinking in surprise.

 _So… realistic!_ Rin thought. But he didn’t say that. He sighed instead, and tried to get a grip on himself. “Nothing, never mind,” he said, shaking his head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you with this. Just forget it.”

“I—I’m sorry,” Rei said, his face a mixture of confusion and concern. “I’m just not really sure what you want me to say…?”

“I don’t know!” Rin cried, staring anxiously into Rei’s eyes. “Tell me it’s nothing! Tell me I’m gonna be ok! Something like that!”

“…It’s probably nothing,” Rei said slowly, eyebrows furrowing. “And you’ll probably be ok…?”

He didn’t sound like he believed it at all, and it occurred to Rin that Rei probably had some sort of moral objection to empty reassurances like these. God knew they weren’t logical in the least.

“Thanks, I feel so much better now,” Rin said sarcastically. He dropped Rei’s hand—which he’d only just realized he’d been holding in a death grip this entire time—and left the room before Rei could say anything.

He went into his room, took a few aspirin, and lay down on his bed, letting his stress have its way with his thoughts.

He knew he’d probably come off as childish back there, but he couldn’t help it. This wasn’t something he’d ever had to deal with before. He should have known better than to go running to Rei with it, though. Nothing good ever came of letting other people in on his problems. He should have just kept it to himself.

Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on the door, and Rin, who had been shifting around, trying to find a comfortable position to lie in, hastily sat up.

Without waiting for permission, Rei opened the door and stepped into the room, and for one second Rin thought— _hoped_ —that maybe he was here to apologize for being so… _Rei_ -ish earlier and to offer Rin some actual comfort.

Unsurprisingly, this did not turn out to be the case. Instead, looking vaguely annoyed, Rei marched up to Rin’s bed and dropped a pile of _stuff_ onto it, including the t-shirt Rin had left in his room, a dishtowel, a bag of ice, and what appeared to be a small, steaming pillow case tied off with a rubber band.

“Um, what…?” Rin said, prodding the pillowcase with a finger. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be filled with uncooked rice.

“Alternate the hot and cold every fifteen minutes for an hour or two,” Rei said brusquely. “Start with the rice. You’ll need to reheat it eventually.”

“…This is kind of old school,” Rin said incredulously. “You know there are pads and stuff that do the same thing, right? I think I’ve got one around here somewhere…”

“Trust me, this is better. But take it or leave it. I don’t really care what you do.”

“Well… thanks, I guess,” Rin said, raising an eyebrow. Geez, someone was in a bad mood. But Rei was entitled, Rin supposed. He _had_ woken him up, after all.

Rei must have known what he was thinking because his expression softened just a little. He picked up the bag of ice and began wrapping it in the towel. “I think it’ll help,” he said. “But if you’re still in bad shape tomorrow, then you should definitely see a doctor.”

“Yeah, well,” Rin said, taking the ice from him and setting it down on his bedside table. “I don’t really think it’ll come to that, but we’ll see.”

Rei crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes, I suppose we will.”

They glared at each other for a few seconds before Rei offered him a stiff “Good night,” and left the room.

Rin stared after him for a while, wondering what his problem was… and what his _own_ problem was, for that matter. He hadn’t realized it until his face relaxed, but he’d sort of been… pouting.

…Well, _whatever_. It wasn’t like any of this was Rei’s problem. So it didn’t really matter what he thought. Besides. Rin didn’t plan on it being an issue much longer.

Sighing quietly, he flipped himself over onto his stomach and settled the rice over his aching muscles. The hot-and-cold combo wasn’t exactly the most innovative remedy, but there was something to be said for classics. Rin was just going to have to trust it and hope for the best.

 

He was able to sleep peacefully through the night, and when he woke up, he didn’t really feel anything worth worrying about, so Rin allowed himself to believe that he was out of the woods.

Unfortunately, whatever positive effects the ice and rice might have had wore off soon after he started his run, leaving nothing in their departing wake but a dull ache accompanied by a slight burning sensation.

Granted, slipping out of the apartment and going for a run that morning—while Rei was still asleep and therefore unable to give him any flack about it—probably wasn’t the wisest move, but… it was part of his routine. And he would be damned if he let something like this get in the way of that.

Rin cut the run short and headed home in defeat, so deep in his thoughts that he narrowly avoided crashing into Rei, who was just emerging from the building, on the front porch. Rin nearly fell off the steps and onto the sidewalk, but Rei managed to grab his arm and pull him up in time. Though, given the fact that Rin accidentally twisted up his back in the process, landing on the sidewalk actually might have been preferable.

“ _Mmgh_ , sorry,” he forced out, straightening up and trying to look like he _wasn’t_ in complete agony.

“Are you alright?” Rei asked, and the sheer amount of sympathy in his tone told Rin he probably already knew the answer to that.

He nodded anyway. “Yeah, I’m fine.” And, just because Rei looked like he wanted to refute that, he added quickly, “Heading to class?”

“How’s your back?” Rei asked, completely ignoring Rin’s question.

“Never better,” Rin shrugged. “That rice thing was a good call.”

“…Well,” Rei said, after giving Rin a long, appraising look. He hitched up his backpack straps and started down the stairs. “That’s a relief,” he continued over his shoulder. “Make sure you take it easy at practice tonight.”

“You got it,” Rin said breezily, and once Rei had disappeared around the corner, he winced and collapsed against the door.

Boy, what a lie _that_ had been. And Rin was a little disgusted at how easily it had slithered out of him.

The thing was, though… he really, _really_ did not want Rei on his case. He’d shown last night that he wasn’t just going to stand back and let Rin deal with things his own way, and the last thing Rin needed was someone breathing down his neck and pressuring him to… _do_ something about this. No, it would be much better for everyone involved if Rei remained _uninvolved_.

With that in mind, Rin went through Monday and Tuesday in much the same way—with his mouth shut and his back practically screaming at him.

Needless to say, Rin felt extremely sorry for himself.

Though he hated to admit it now, it had been no small source of pride for Rin that he’d never so much as pulled a muscle in all his years of swimming. There was no denying he’d gone overboard plenty of times in the past, but he’d always managed to come out of it unscathed. He’d always just kind of figured he was… special or something. And Rin wasn’t stupid—he’d known that was just the hubris talking. He had watched enough training safety videos to know that it was only a matter of time before something or other got snapped or torn. But… it hadn’t so far, so he just kept pushing his luck, figuring if that day was going to come, it wasn’t going to be today.

So this whole back-pain thing was… a _new_ experience, to say the least. And that was probably why he was at such a loss as to how to deal with it.

Rin needed to see a doctor. He’d known that since day one. It was always there in the back of his mind, and that was where it was going to have to stay. It was… tricky. Rin was in a difficult position here—caught between a possible injury and the section of his scholarship that demanded full disclosure of any and all athletic-related health problems.

It hadn’t _seemed_ like a big deal when Rin had signed the damn thing. After all, it was under the same clause that said the university would generously cover any medical fees.

Although, at the time, he hadn’t realized that the university and the hospital were affiliated. What Rin had taken for generosity was beginning to look a little more like… surveillance. It was kind of distasteful when he thought about it, but then again, that was the world of professional sports. He’d have to get used to his privacy being violated like that.

The point was, Rin couldn’t just waltz into the sports clinic and ask them for a consultation. It’d be as good as announcing to his coach that he’d hurt himself. And that just wasn’t an option. Not with France happening in less than three weeks. It was his first international competition. He couldn’t afford to miss it.

Rin had seen this sort of thing happen to other people. He’d be benched at the very least. Worst-case scenario, he wouldn’t be able to go _at all_. He was a swimmer on the brink of injury, if not injured already. Any way you sliced it, he was a bad investment.

Or _would_ be a bad investment. It hadn’t gotten to the point that he needed to bow out quite yet. His times weren’t exactly improving, but they weren’t getting worse, either. All Rin had to do was keep walking the edge until the competition was over. Then he could go get himself checked out… Maybe.

Because to be perfectly honest, there was a part of him—the annoying, irrational, _honest_ part that tended to take over all brain activity after 11 p.m.—that had absolutely no interest in seeing a doctor at all. Especially if they were just going to deliver bad news.

But he couldn’t afford to think about that. That was… long term. Right now, he had to focus on getting through the next three weeks.

It wasn’t the most airtight plan—it wasn’t even a _good_ plan—but Rin didn’t really have a choice. Ever since the last competition, the coach had been keeping a much closer eye on him than usual.

And he wasn’t the only one.

Rei knew he was hiding it. That much was obvious, and it was entirely Rin’s own fault. _Why_ he’d felt the need to go blabbing about it to Rei last Sunday night, he would never know. It had been a moment of weakness, and Rin was probably going to regret it for the rest of his life.

For his part, Rei was being surpisingly quiet. Probably because they didn’t have that much time to talk. There was a weeklong break starting next Monday, which meant that most classes were having tests this week. He and Rei were both busy and barely home at the same time.

The few times they did cross paths, Rei was civil, if a little… distant. And he kept giving Rin these disapproving looks, like he had a bone to pick with him, but was unwilling to come right out and say it.

It was awkward, but a different awkward than he was used to with Rei. It was more like what he had to deal with when Haru was mad at him. Or, more specifically, when Haru was mad at him and refused to tell him why.

But Rei wasn’t Haru, and Rin had a pretty good idea of what he’d done this time. Not that it made much of a difference. Rei could glare at him as much as he wanted. Rin’s hands were tied and there wasn’t a damn thing either of them could do about it.

 

It wasn’t until Wednesday night that Rin finally began slowing down.

In his defense, though, he probably would have lasted longer if Iwashima hadn’t decided to launch some kind of campaign against him this week.

True to his word, Iwashima did indeed seem to have butterfly on the brain. Rin spent much of Monday and Tuesday’s practices neck-in-neck with the guy, just barely managing to keep a hold on his status as the team’s fastest butterfly swimmer.

“You could just say no to him,” Haru pointed out as he floated past Rin during break on Wednesday. “When he challenges you, I mean.”

Rin had just finished his third race of the evening, and the extremely narrow victory for Iwashima had left Rin a little worse for wear. In fact, he was hurting so much that he’d decided to just stay in the water, since it was entirely likely he wouldn’t be able to hoist himself out of the pool.

“Yeah, well, that’s not really my style, is it?” Rin said ruefully. It wasn’t as though the same thing hadn’t crossed his mind. But he was trying to keep a low profile, and turning down an offer to race was too out of character for him not to raise a few eyebrows. “Besides,” he added, walking beside Haru as he glided down the lane on his back. “I’m kind of hoping he’ll just get it all out of his system and forget about me.”

Haru raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that what they call ‘appeasing the enemy’?”

“He’s not my _enemy_ ,” Rin snorted. “And no one’s appeasing anyone. I don’t really mind racing him that much. It’s better than the shit he usually pulls.”

“If you say so. But… keep your guard up. He finally managed to beat you, and if he’s done it once, he can do it a—”

“Hey, Matsuoka.”

Rin and Haru both looked up. They’d reached the end of the lane, and as though he’d sensed they were talking about him, Iwashima was waiting for them there. “Can I claim you for another race when break’s over?”

“Sorry,” Haru cut in. “He’s racing me after break.”

“I can wait,” said Iwashima, both he and Haru choosing to ignore Rin’s startled look. “How about afterwards, then?”

“I’m all yours,” Rin said through gritted teeth.

“Cool.” Iwashima turned and started walking back toward his friends. “Come find me when you’re done jerking off to Nanase’s bubble trail!” he called over his shoulder.

Once he was out of earshot, Haru sighed and turned to Rin, who was fiddling uncomfortably with the straps of his goggles.

“You,” he said gravely, “are an appeaser.”

 

It was truly unfortunate that Haru really did make Rin race him after that.

For the last few days, Rin had perfected something of a balance between “taking it easy” (he _had_ taken Rei’s words to heart, in a bitter, somewhat ironic way) and working hard enough to ward off any suspicion.

Of course, Iwashima had done his best to thwart this system at every turn, but that was nothing compared to the damage racing Haru ended up causing.

Well, it was _Haru_ , after all. Rin couldn’t have held back even if he’d tried.

But, boy, he really _should_ have tried.

They ended up tying—not uncommon these days—and Rin couldn’t find it in himself to care either way. All he felt was an unhealthy amount of pain and the corresponding regret.

And that regret increased tenfold when Iwashima sought him out at the end of practice for their promised race.

Needless to say, Rin gave it his all—which, all things considered, wasn’t much—and lost to him by a fairly wide margin. For the second time that night.

Iwashima stuck around to gloat for a while, but once it became clear that Rin wasn’t going to respond, he got bored and left to join the rest of the team in the locker room.

Rin stood there in his lane, his breathing still labored—no longer from the race, but from pain. Even submerged under the cool water, his lower back felt like it was on fire, and it took every bit of willpower Rin possessed to not put his hands on it.

Eventually he realized that he had to get out of the pool. He painstakingly braced his hands on the ledge and lifted himself out, trying not to put any weight where it shouldn’t be.

The locker room wasn’t crowded by the time he got there. He’d hung back long enough that most of the team had cleared out already. Unfortunately, the one person he’d been hoping to avoid was among the stragglers.

“Hey, there’s the sore loser,” Iwashima drawled as Rin passed by his locker. “I was beginning to worry you’d drowned yourself.”

Rin ignored him. He spotted Haru on the other side of the room and made for him like a port in a storm. Iwashima followed close behind.

“Aw, don’t be like that. It’s not _my_ fault you were so off your game today. Such a shame, too. You were kind of on a winning spree for a while there, weren’t you? So what’s your deal, Matsuoka? I can’t say it wasn’t an absolute pleasure knocking you down a few pegs, but I _am_ a bit curious. I mean… what? Are you sick? Are you finally running out of steam? Or did that boyfriend of yours just give it to you too hard last night?”

 _That_ stopped Rin in his tracks, and he spun around to face Iwashima with wide eyes _._ Because he really hadn't said that quietly _at all._

Several people had looked up from what they were doing and were now openly staring at the two of them in the middle of the room. Iwashima smirked.

“Oh, wow, I was totally kidding, but look at your face! Then again, I suppose that does explain why you’re practically _limping_. Well, shit. Guess that means I owe him one. You’ll have to thank him for m—”

Someone slammed their locker shut, drowning out the rest of Iwashima’s sentence. As the sound reverberated off the tile walls, everyone turned to look at Mikoshiba.

His hand lay flat against his locker door and he was pinning Iwashima with a hard stare.

“…Iwashima,” he said once the air had stop ringing. “You’re on inventory duty tonight.”

For once, Iwashima looked thrown. He blinked at Mikoshiba for several seconds. “…Wait, what? That’s your job, isn’t it? Why would I—”

“Because I’m sick of hearing your voice, that’s why,” Mikoshiba said calmly. “And it doesn’t look like you’ve got anything better to do.”

Iwashima opened his mouth to argue, but Mikoshiba cut him off.

“Beat it. Those fins aren’t gonna count themselves.”

Surprisingly, Iwashima did as he was told. With a roll of his eyes and one last sneer in Rin’s direction, he turned to leave, muttering something nasty under his breath about Mikoshiba “throwing his weight around” and knocking shoulders with Haru, who’d been approaching from behind.

“And don’t forget to fill the log out!” Mikoshiba called after him. “Front _and_ back!”

He kept an eye on Iwashima’s retreating back until he was out the door. A short silence followed before the onlookers cautiously went back to what they’d been doing. As the sounds of people chattering and packing up began to fill their air again, Mikoshiba turned to Rin.

“…Well,” he said with a sheepish smile. “That’s probably never gonna work again. The senpai-card’s got a pretty limited warranty. Sorry about that.”

Rin said nothing. He just stood there, still frozen in place and trying to process what had just happened. Mikoshiba watched him for a few moments, his expression holding no small amount of concern.

“Listen,” he eventually sighed. “Get dressed and meet me outside. We should probably talk.”

Rin had absolutely no desire to talk about _anything_ , but he nodded mutely anyway. He managed to unstick his feet from the floor and headed to his locker, making a conscious effort not to _limp_ there. He hadn’t even realized he’d been doing it until Iwashima pointed it out.

Rin got dressed as quickly as could. All he wanted was to go home, take a few painkillers, and crawl into bed. Even without his back giving him hell, he was tired and stiff all over. He hoped whatever Mikoshiba wanted to talk to him about wouldn’t take long.

Five minutes later, Rin emerged from the locker room with Haru, who’d said nothing so far, but was apparently tagging along. Mikoshiba was waiting for them in the lobby.

“…So,” he began once they were walking outside. “About Iwashima…”

“Yeah—I _know_ ,” Rin blurted. “And listen, as much as I appreciate it, I don’t need you to fight my battles for me. I mean, I really don’t know what his problem is, but… I can handle him. Ignoring him seems to work just fine.”

That, of course, was a boldfaced _lie_ , but Mikoshiba didn’t seem inclined to call him on it.

“No one’s saying you can’t handle it,” he said pacifyingly. “I just wanted to point out that… Wait.” He stopped walking and looked down at Rin incredulously. “…What do you mean you don’t know what his problem is?”

“I… why, what do _you_ mean?” Rin said defensively. “Actually, do we really have to talk about this right now?”

 Mikoshiba and Haru exchanged a look. “Are you, like… joking?” Mikoshiba asked.

“Well, it’s not like he’s come right out and told me!” Rin snapped, growing more irritated by the second. He started walking again, intending to the leave the other two in the dust, but they kept pace with him easily.

“Matsuoka,” Mikoshiba tried again, “I think deep down, you _know_. Think about it.”

Rin rolled his eyes and wracked his brain for all of about five seconds. Then he paused as a truly disturbing idea emerged.

“Oh…” he said slowly. “He doesn’t… _like_ me, does he?”

God, he hoped not. That would be just a little too daytime-drama—even for _Rin’s_ taste, and he usually ate that sort of thing up with a spoon.

“No, you idiot!” Mikoshiba snapped, smacking Rin in the back of the head. “I cannot _believe_ you don’t get what’s happening here. Listen to me—Iwashima. Is after. _Your_ _position_.”

“My position…” Rin repeated blankly, and Mikoshiba let out a longsuffering sigh, which Rin really didn’t appreciate. It wasn’t like he was being difficult on purpose. He genuinely had no idea what Mikoshiba was getting at.

“Rin,” Haru chimed in, since Mikoshiba was too busy looking like he wanted to rip out his hair to explain himself. “He thinks of you as a rival.”

“Oh…” Rin said again. “ _Oh_. Well… that’s um… Really?”

Rin didn’t really know what to make of that. He wasn’t even sure he _believed_ it, actually.

“Why else would he be messing with you like that?” Mikoshiba demanded.

“I don’t know. I just thought he was…” Well, _mean_ , but there wasn’t any way he could say that and not sound like a five year old.

Mikoshiba looked torn between laughing and smacking him again. “So you really had no idea, huh?”

“Well, obviously!” Rin snapped. “Geez, he could have made it a little more clear!”

“Um, I would have thought that his constant presence on your ass this week was making it clear enough. But then again, I suppose you _have_ always been a little…”

“Slow?” Haru suggested. “Unobservant? Self-absorbed?”

“…Oblivious,” Mikosahiba finished. “But… the thing is, he’s kind of been targeting you for a while.”

It took a moment for Rin, who was still recovering from the “self-absorbed” comment, to register what Mikoshiba had said. “…Wait. What do you mean he’s been _targeting_ me?”

Mikoshiba sighed again. “It’s… well, it’s inconvenient is what it is. And you know me—I try not to pay attention to team politics unless they directly involve me—Or one of my own,” he added fiercely, and Rin couldn’t help but feel a little touched, even though he still didn’t quite follow. “But the truth is, you’re kind of a hot ticket at the moment. Coach has been pretty excited about you for a while now, and the competition last weekend sorta cemented that. I swear, he’s ready to give your number out to the first person who asks for it.”

“How do you—?”

“I’m his office aide,” Mikoshiba shrugged. “I hear things. Trust me on this Matsuoka. You’re on every single one of his ‘good’ lists.”

“I see…” Rin said, wondering why this news wasn’t making him as happy as it should have. “But what does any of that have to do with Iwashima? Isn’t backstroke his thing? What does he care if I’m better at butterfly?”

“Well, the long and short of it is that Himura’s coming back to school at the end of next week’s break, which means Iwashima’s stint as the team’s top backstroke swimmer is drawing to a close. Iwashima knows that, and that’s why he’s after _your_ spot. He thinks if he can get his butterfly up to snuff, Coach’ll bump you from the competition in France and put him in instead.”

“That… makes sense, I guess.”

“You still don’t believe me, do you?” Mikoshiba said, rolling his eyes. “Man, you really _are_ oblivious. The entire team knows he’s had it out for you since day one. It’s only now that you’re becoming an actual threat that he’s starting to do something about it. Well, _that_ , and he’s desperate.”

Rin shook his head. “That doesn’t sound like a rivalry to me,” he said, thinking of Iwashima’s behavior towards him. Especially outside of the water. “Are you sure he doesn’t just hate me?”

“Why can’t it be both?” Mikoshiba said. “That’s how it usually works. Believe me, most people aren’t all that interested in becoming buddies with the person they're trying to beat. Quite the opposite, actually. That’s generally the sort of thing that breeds resentment, not friendship.”

Rin glanced at Haru, unable to stop himself.

“I’m not saying you’ve been doing it wrong,” Mikoshiba said gently, and it was as though he knew exactly what Rin was thinking. “I’m just saying that your particular brand of rivalry is not the norm.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Rin said quietly. Then he thought about everything Iwashima had put him through over the last month or so and felt some of his earlier anger return. “Actually, no! I _don’t_ get it! If it’s my swimming times that piss him off, then what’s with all the—the—” He struggled to find the right words. “—attacks on my character?!”

To his surprise and complete annoyance, instead of answering him, Mikoshiba just threw his head back and laughed.

“What could you possibly find _funny_ about this?!” Rin snapped.

“Nothing, sorry!” Mikoshiba chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye. “It’s just cute, that’s all. I mean—have you always been this _naïve?_ God, that Iwashima really is a menace, going after a sweet little guy like you.”

“He’s messing with your head,” Haru said, and Rin turned to him, his spluttering retort dying on his lips. “Haven’t you noticed he always tries to psych you out right before competitions?”

Mikoshiba nodded, his expression turning serious once more. “Exactly. I guess he thinks if your confidence takes a beating then your times will, too. It’s fighting dirty, but short of setting you up for a slip-and-fall, it’s pretty much all he can do. And… well, it’s not a _terrible_ plan, all things considered. I mean, no offense, Matsuoka, but you’re not exactly immune, are you?”

“That’s not true!”

“It’s like watching a video game character lose hit points every time he talks to you,” Haru informed him. Mikoshiba nodded sadly.

“You’re on shaky ground, Matsuoka. Yeah, you impressed everyone at the last meet, but that doesn’t count for a whole lot in the grand scheme of things. When you come down to it, the most _recent_ times are the only ones that matter. And if Iwashima’s faster than you… well, that’s that, then.”

“You think I don’t know that!?” Rin snapped, his distress making the words come out louder and sharper than intended. He took a deep breath. “…Sorry, I’m just—”

“Forget it,” Mikoshiba said, waving Rin off good-naturedly. They’d reached the apartment building now, and the three of them stood at the bottom of the steps. “I’m the one who should apologize, actually. This was kind of a lot to spring on you. I’m just a little worried. Tonight was—”

“I know,” Rin said quickly, stopping Mikoshiba before he could finish the thought. He really didn’t want to hear it. He didn't _need_ to hear it. “But it—I wasn’t really…”

Mikoshiba tilted his head sympathetically. “He hasn’t gotten to you, has he?”

“Of course not!” Rin cried. And he was being completely honest, too. Iwashima’s jibes were annoying—occasionally distracting—but nothing more. And the idea that something like that would be enough to derail him was beyond insulting. No, it wasn’t _Iwashima_ that was slowing him down all of a sudden…

“It was an off night, alright?” he said firmly. “He just caught me at a bad time. Trust me, it’s not gonna happen again.”

“I’ll take your word for it, then,” Mikoshiba said, and he started going up the stairs, apparently satisfied enough to let the matter drop, which was kind of what Rin had been hoping for. “And in the meantime, don’t worry about it too much,” he added, looking back at Rin over his shoulder. “We’re all on your side. Make sure you rest up well tonight so you can go back to kicking that idiot’s ass tomorrow.”

Rin nodded at his back until he disappeared into the building. Once the door was closed, he let out a sigh and lowered himself onto the bottom step. The combination of guilt and relief that Mikoshiba had bought his lie was making him almost lightheaded.

A moment later, someone sat down next to him, and Rin nearly jumped; he’d forgotten Haru was still there.

“Are you ok?” Haru asked.

“Yeah… fine,” Rin said vaguely, and Haru stared at him for a moment before grunting in apparent acceptance and turning away. Rin glanced at him.

He seemed somewhat… troubled. His expression didn’t hold quite as much concern as Mikoshiba’s had, but something had made his eyebrows draw together and the corners of his mouth turn downward. Though Rin wasn’t entirely sure what _Haru_ had to be anxious about.

“It’s kind of a relief, actually,” he added with a weak laugh, trying for some levity. “I spent the longest time thinking he had something against me.”

“He _does_ have something against you.”

“Well, yeah, but…” Rin shrugged and scratched the back of his head. “I mean, I’m glad it’s just, you know… my swimming. Not something personal.”

“But… it’s your _swimming_ ,” Haru echoed, shaking his head. “What’s more personal than that?”

 “…Well, a _lot_ of things, actually,” Rin said after a moment. For some reason, Haru’s words had ignited a small spark irritation inside him. It was an unpleasantly familiar feeling, and Rin knew he needed to smother it. “I mean… that’s just what _I_ think, anyway,” he continued, trying to keep his tone casual. “But, um… what do you think? Of all this, I mean.”

Haru stared down at the concrete beneath their feet and thought about it for a long moment. Finally, he looked back up at Rin.

“I think it’s disgusting,” he said—with so much _conviction_ that Rin let out a surprised bark of laughter.

“You—sorry!” Rin snorted as Haru glared at him. “You just sounded so serious! I mean, yeah, he’s being kind of unsportsmanlike about it, but… he’s jealous. That’s pretty normal. He’s just gonna have to beat me or find a way to get over it.”

Haru shook his head again. “I can’t help it,” he said, looking more distressed than Rin had ever seen him. “It’s… disgusting—it disgusts me. He _wants_ you to do badly. What kind of person thinks like that? Something like this… I don’t… that’s not what swimming is about. That’s—that’s not what it _should_ be about.”

Rin stared at him through narrowed eyes, his laughter drying up as the spark turned into a flame. Haru was almost struggling to get the words out, but that didn’t matter. His meaning was coming across loud and clear.

“Competing, you mean?” Rin said flatly. “Well, I can’t say I agree with you. Swimming is a _sport_ , you know.”

“I consider it more of a lifestyle,” Haru said, and for one wild moment Rin thought he was joking. But then he remembered who he was talking to. “And I think you’re wrong. Swimming isn’t about competing. Not to me, at least. It’s about being at peace with myself and the people I’m sharing the pool with. It’s bad enough we had to swim a relay with that guy—”

“We _won_ that relay.”

“—when he clearly has no idea what it means to be part of a team.”

“Well, sometimes you just have to deal with people like that,” Rin said as reasonably as he could. He had no idea why he was suddenly defending Iwashima or why he was trying to reassure Haru about… _something_. All he knew was that the conversation had gotten away from him and he did _not_ like where it was going. “Not everyone sees relays the same way we do—”

“And who cares if we won? It’s not like it meant anything. Not with someone like him.”

“It didn’t _need_ to mean anything. Winning was the entire—”

“Why aren’t you more upset about all of this?” Haru suddenly blurted. “Are you seriously ok with someone encroaching on everything swimming means to you?”

“I don’t _know_ if I am or not because _I don’t know what you’re talking about,”_ Rin snapped, and he really, really meant it. He’d gone into this intending to understand Haru, but he was more confused than ever. “Just what exactly do you _think_ swimming means to me?”

“Not this. Not whatever he’s trying to get out of it—out of _you_. The water’s no place for a—“

“No place for a _rivalry_?” Rin said coldly, even as the flame in his chest burned hotter than ever. “Because if that’s what you mean, then I _definitely_ don’t agree with you. If I did, we wouldn’t be sitting here having this conversation, would we?”

Haru opened his mouth to respond—but then he hesitated, his eyes widening slightly in realization as the meaning of Rin’s words sank in.

“That’s different—”

Rin let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, Mikoshiba said that, too, remember? Guess I’m pretty warped when it comes to that sort of thing, huh? But you know what? I’m open to the other kind of rivalry, too. The one _without_ the word ‘friendly’ in front of it. If Iwashima wants to put in the effort to compete against me, then the least I can do is give it right back to him. _That’s_ what swimming means to me.”

“I didn’t mean—” Haru broke off, his eyes filling with something that Rin would have almost called panic if he thought Haru actually _cared_ that much. “I’m talking about _Iwashima_ , not—”

“No, _I’m_ talking about Iwashima!” Rin snapped. “I think _you_ stopped talking about him a while ago. I was wondering why you were getting so bent out of shape over this when it has absolutely _nothing_ to do with you, but don’t worry—I get it now. This must have brought back some _terrible_ memories for you! But, hey, if it helps, I’m really sorry about all the _encroaching_ I’ve done over the years.”

Haru’s eyes, if it were possible, went even wider. “Rin, I wasn’t saying—”

“Yeah, you were.” Rin grabbed his bag and got to his feet. Haru sprang up after him. “I don’t blame you, though. You must have been holding that in for a while,” he continued bitterly, turning away from Haru and starting up the stairs. “Anyway, I’m glad you finally got a chance to air your grievan—Ah!” Rin broke off as pain bloomed in his back from taking the first step too hard.

“Are you ok?” Haru asked urgently.

“I’m fine!” Rin snapped. Haru’s expression had once again morphed into concern, their argument apparently on the backburner now. And for some reason, that just pissed Rin off even more.

He ignored the pain and stomped up the remaining steps, leaving Haru on the sidewalk below and slamming the door behind him. It felt good, too. _Satisfying_.

Because for once, _Rin_ was the one who got to walk away angry, and Haru was the one left behind to pick up the pieces and try to puzzle together _why_. It was so often the other way around with them. As he leaned against the door, Rin found himself almost savoring the memory of Haru’s look of guilt and confusion.

But then his own guilt and confusion took over and he instantly regretted it.

Rin rubbed his temples and slowly made his way down to his apartment, still making sure to cover up his limp and trying to regulate his breathing. He was going to be _fine_ , he told himself. All he needed was some sleep. And some painkillers. And maybe a personality transplant.

The lights were all off when Rin stepped through the door, and he couldn’t help the wave of relief that washed over him when he noticed that Rei wasn’t there to greet him. Just like he hadn’t been on Monday or Tuesday either. Rin knew why, of course, and it had bothered him at first, but now he was entirely grateful for the fact that Rei was currently freezing him out. What Rin needed right now was to not be around people.

But unfortunately for both of them, for all of Rei’s mental prowess and uncanny ability to see right through whatever fronts Rin put up, he wasn’t _psychic_.

It was as Rin was heating up some leftover curry—to be eaten only out of necessity so he could chase it down with a couple of aspirin afterwards—that Rei wandered into the kitchen, empty water glass in hand and looking about as exhausted as Rin felt.

“Hello,” he said as he walked past Rin, who was standing in front of the microwave and glaring at it as though he could scare the timer into counting down faster. “…How was practice?” he added stiffly as he refilled his glass from the pitcher they kept on the counter, and Rin very nearly went off on him. Because Rei already _knew_ the answer to that.

“Practice was _great_ ,” he said instead through gritted teeth, not taking his eyes off the microwave. “ _Really_ great. So great that I wish I was still there right now, actually. That’s how great it was.”

“Well, that’s just great,” Rei said, his tone just as icy as Rin’s. “As always, your blind devotion to the sport is admirable. Maybe you _should_ just stay there next time.”

“Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll even rent a locker room bench to sleep on and stop coming home altogether.”

“Good idea. You know, they say sleeping on a hard surface does wonders for people with back problems _._ ”

Rin whipped around to face him. “ _You know what_ —!” Rei raised an eyebrow and Rin cut himself off. It was clear that Rei was in the mood to argue tonight, and Rin was more than willing to give him what he wanted. That was why he needed to get away.

He sighed and passed a hand over his eyes, which had started burning in a horribly telltale way. “…Never mind. Just forget it, ok? I’m going to bed.”

Luckily, Rei _finally_ seemed to sense that right now wasn’t a good time for this, and he allowed Rin to slink away without a word. Rin couldn’t have been more relieved. Something was wrong with him tonight. He was tired and stressed and if he let this continue, he was going to end up crying or yelling, and he _really_ didn’t want to do either of those things.

Once he was safely locked in his room, Rin sat down heavily on his bed, buried his face in his hands, and tried to calm the hell down. It was hard, though.

There were too many thoughts all jockeying for his attention at once, and Rin had neither the energy nor the desire to address any one of them. But they weren’t going to leave him alone until he did.

This was all Iwashima’s fault, really. Him and his bad fucking _timing_.

It was all well and good that he was apparently dead set on having Rin as a rival, but couldn’t he have decided that a little _earlier_? Maybe if Rin had been given a heads-up, he would have been more careful. Maybe if he’d had a little _warning_ that someone was going to try to take him down, he wouldn’t have made himself an easy target. Maybe if he’d known he was someone’s _rival_ , he wouldn’t have fucked his fucking _back_ up.

_Rival._

Rin snorted. Yeah, some rivalry _that_ was destined to be. If it had been any other time, Rin probably would have welcomed the development—might have even been _excited_ about it. At the very least, it would have been great motivation, no matter what Haru said. Rin _liked_ competing. And he _really_ liked the idea of being so good at it that someone actually felt threatened by him. He couldn’t think of anything more flattering.

But not right now. The way things were going, he didn’t stand a fighting chance. If Iwashima—if _anyone_ for that matter—wanted to swoop in and take his spot in the lineup, there wasn’t a whole lot Rin could do to prevent it. Not in his current state…

He wasn’t going to just _hand_ it to him, though. There were things he could do to delay it, at least. Iwashima had beaten _Rin_ a few times tonight, but he hadn’t beaten Rin’s best _time_ yet. Of course, Rin still hadn’t beaten his best time either, but that… probably didn’t matter? And besides, maybe Iwashima really _had_ just caught him at a bad time, like he’d tried to tell Mikoshiba. Maybe Rin had just been… preoccupied today, and that was why he’d lost—not because his back was getting any worse. Right… Or maybe this _was_ the worst of it and he’d successfully ridden it out. That was how injuries worked, right? They had to get worse before they got better? For all Rin knew, he could wake up tomorrow good as new, and this whole thing wouldn’t be an issue any more… and…

Rin had no idea how long he sat there letting his mind run around in circles. All he knew was that at some point his neck and shoulders had started hurting thanks to his hunched over position, which made a wonderful addition to the tension headache he’d had since he got home, as well as the ever-present back pain.

Rin reached over to his bedside table and groped around for the bottle of aspirin that had been his constant companion for the last several days. He’d take as many as he could safely manage and hopefully be able to go straight to sleep. He needed _sleep_ more than anything, there was no question of that.

He realized as he upended the bottle in his hand that he’d ended up leaving his curry in the kitchen, and he wondered vaguely if it was ok to take these on an empty stomach…

…Not that it actually mattered. The bottle was empty.

Letting out a frustrated growl, Rin chucked it at the trashcan in the corner of the room. What the hell was he supposed to do _now_? He really didn’t want to walk to the convenience store. He didn’t think he _could_ walk to the convenience store. Not with ninety percent of his body rebelling against him. But he probably wouldn’t survive the night if he didn’t take _something_.

Dammit, he was going to have ask Rei. The guy seemed to get a headache every five minutes these days, so he was bound to have some aspirin lying around somewhere.

Rin sighed and lifted himself off his bed. Might as well get it over with. He just hoped Rei wouldn’t give him a hard time about it. He really, really was not in the mood for _20 Questions: Rin-san Edition_ tonight.

Luckily, just as Rin was steeling himself to knock on Rei’s door, a sudden thought occurred to him. A… not very virtuous thought, but Rin wasn’t terribly concerned with that right now. He abruptly turned around made a b-line for the bathroom. Once inside, he threw open the medicine cabinet.

God, how had he not thought about this before? It was _perfect_.

A while ago—Rin had no idea how long it had been. A few months, at least—he’d come across a container of fairly heavy-duty painkillers when he’d been cleaning out the medicine cabinet—the kind you had to get a prescription for. They definitely weren’t his, so he’d asked Rei about them. Apparently they were left over from when he’d gotten his wisdom teeth out before school had started. He hadn’t used many of them, and somehow they’d ended up being packed with the rest of the stuff he was bringing to Tokyo.

Rin had completely forgotten about them until now.

 _Just how effective would they be in this situation?_ he wondered as he scanned the shelves of the cabinet. Enough to allow him to sleep tonight, surely. And… depending on how many there were… maybe enough to get him through practice. At least for the rest of the week. That was all he needed, really. Then he could use the break next week to come up with a more… sustainable solution…

Oh, there it was! Rin spotted the bottle at the very back of the top shelf, partially hidden behind a case of floss refills (Rin’s) and an unopened package of shaving soap (Rei’s).

Rin made a grab for it—a little too enthusiastically—and ended up knocking several items to the ground with a loud crash.

“Shit,” Rin muttered to himself. This was just not his night. He set the bottle down on the counter and bent down to retrieve the myriad of dental hygiene and hair products that had scattered across the bathroom tiles.

He was so preoccupied with his task that he failed to hear the door creak open.

“What are you doing?” someone said.

Rin sprang to his feet with a startled yelp and reflexively flung the bobby pins he’d collected off the floor at the intruder.

They bounced harmlessly off the lenses of Rei’s glasses and fell back to the floor with a soft _plink_. Rei crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, watching Rin with a raised eyebrow.

“God!” Rin cried, slapping a hand over his still-racing heart. “You just took thirty years off my life, Rei! Those were my _retirement_ years! I’m never gonna get those back!”

Rei looked unimpressed. “What are you doing _?_ ” he repeated, a little more insistently this time.

Rin crossed his arms and stood up a little straighter, trying to ignore the jolt of pain his earlier movement had sent to his back. “You know, you really can’t just come barging into _here_ of all places and expect me to answer that,” he said with more bravado than he actually felt.

“I only came barging in because _you_ were being loud,” Rei replied, taking in the mess Rin had made. “What happened?”

Rin shrugged and leaned casually against the counter, which had the added benefit of taking some of the weight off his left side. “Nothing. I just knocked some stuff over.”

“Well, are you alright?” Rei asked, the words a little at odds with the fact that he was still _glaring_ at him.

“Yeah, I mean, it was pretty touch and go there for a while, but I _somehow_ managed to survive,” Rin said sarcastically. “Anyway, if we’re done playing bathroom-police, then would you mind getting lost? I’ve still got about 57 of your spare toothbrushes to pick up. Those are a huge waste of space, by the way. You know, Rei, just because you _can_ buy in bulk doesn’t mean you _should_. And don’t get me started on that stupid shaving soap you use. Like, I’m sorry—I wasn’t aware we were stuck in the Meiji era. Ever heard of shaving cream? It’s cheap? Comes in a can? Doesn’t take up half the shelf?”

Rin was babbling. He was babbling and it was completely undignified, but he needed to do something to drive Rei away before he realized what Rin was really doing here.

But of course, Rei wasn’t listening. Just as Rin had been dreading, his eyes had already fallen on the bottle of painkillers that Rin had stupidly left out in the open.

Rin shut himself up and watched as Rei reached out and picked the bottle up. He turned it over in his hands a few times, and Rin waited impatiently for him to start yelling. The sooner they got this argument over the sooner Rin could go to bed.

The tense silence stretched on for a few more moments before Rei finally looked up at him. “…Has it really gotten this bad?” he asked quietly. There was no trace of anger in his voice, and his eyes held none of their previous contempt. Instead they were full of something like… pity.

And that was not what Rin wanted _at all_.

“It—it’s not a big deal,” Rin said, looking off to the side. “It’s just gotten a little harder to ignore, that’s all… I’m _handling_ it,” he added with a little more force, glancing back up at Rei.

“With these,” Rei stated flatly, holding up the bottle.

Rin crossed his arms and stood his ground. “That was the plan, yeah.”

“Well, it’s not very well-thought out,” Rei said incredulously. “These aren’t run-of-the-mill pain relievers. They’re given to people who are recovering from surgery and the like. You know these have side effects, right?”

“Yeah, well, I’m not planning on operating any heavy machinery, so I don’t really see what the problem is,” Rin said. And he’d sort of meant it to be a joke, but judging by his completely appalled expression, Rei certainly didn’t take it that way.

Rin rolled his eyes. “Relax, Rei. I appreciate the concern, but you don’t have to go all intervention-mode on me. I only need them for a few days…” He took a step forward as he was talking and reached for the bottle, but Rei took a step back and clutched it a little more closely to his chest.

They both stood there staring at each other for an extremely awkward moment before Rin slowly lowered his hand.

“…Come on, Rei,” he said in as lighthearted a tone as he could muster. “This seems kind of… dysfunctional, don’t you think?”

“Yes, Rin-san, it seems _very_ dysfunctional,” said Rei, who, to his credit, was looking distinctly uncomfortable with his own actions.

“Good. We’re in agreement, then. Now, if you wouldn’t mind—” Rin held out his hand again.

Rei made no move to hand over the bottle. “If I _do_ let you have them—”

“What do you mean, ‘ _let’_ me?” Rin snapped. Rei raised his eyebrows.

“Well, they are _mine_ , aren’t they?” he said, taking a step forward and forcing Rin to step back this time. “So if I do decide to let you have them, then you have to promise that you’ll go to a doctor as soon as possible.”

“…Are you serious?” Rin said with a sardonic laugh. He shook his head. “I’m not going to _bargain_ with you, Rei.”

Rei just shrugged. “Fine. But if you don’t need to see a doctor, then that probably means you don’t need _these_ either,” he said, indicating the bottle. Then, ignoring the way Rin was glaring at him, he started to leave.

“Fine, you’re right! I don’t _need_ them,” Rin called after him as Rei walked away with his last hope. “But—”

Rei paused at the door and whirled around to face him. “But _what_? Tell me—I’d really like to hear what your reasoning is. Because _this_ —“ he said, gesturing to Rin and backing him up until the backs of his legs hit the side of the bathtub “—does not look like you’re _handling_ it. In fact, it looks like you have no _idea_ how to handle it! I’m not quite sure why, though—the solution to your problem is simple enough! You need to see a—”

“Do you honestly think I don’t want to!?” Rin blurted, heart pounding in his ears. He needed space, and Rei was standing far too close. “I would _love_ to see a doctor,” he continued, putting a hand on Rei’s chest and pushing him back some. “But I can’t. Not right now. The school would find out because of my sc—”

“Because of your scholarship,” Rei finished for him. “Yes, I figured as much.”

“Then you must know why it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to go around flaunting my in—” Rin cut himself off.

“Your… _in_ capacitation?” Rei said innocently. “Your _in_ convenient condition?”

“Don’t be _cute_ ,” Rin snarled. “If you get why I can’t tell anyone, then why are you giving me all this shit?”

Because that just sounds like an excuse to me. Do you really think your coach is going to thank you for causing yourself further damage just so you can swim in some tournament?”

“That’s not what’s going on here!” Rin cried, a bit stung. “There’s more to it than that. And that tournament is a lot more important than you’re making it out to be.”

“I’m _sure_ there will be others,” Rei said in an insufferably patronizing tone. “But not if you keep exacerbating the problem. Look, if you’re really that worried about the school finding out, then you don’t necessarily have to go to the hospital. I took the liberty of researching private practices in the area—“

“You did _what_?”

”—And I found a reputable sports clinic that’s just a train ride away from campus. I think you should consider making an appointment— _sooner_ rather later. This really isn’t something that’s just going to fix itself.”

“You know, you sound awfully sure of yourself for someone who could barely give me a straight answer about this just a few days ago,” Rin said scathingly. “Weren’t _you_ the one who was all ‘oh, it’s _probably_ not good, but you’ll _probably_ be fine, sorry I’m so useless, here, have some rice?’”

It was kind of a distorted version of events, Rin knew, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t going for accuracy at the moment.

Rei just rolled his eyes. “ _That’s_ why you need a second opinion.”

“You _were_ my second opinion.”

“Then I’m taking it back!” Rei was looking at Rin with one part disbelief and two parts exasperation. “My opinion doesn’t count anymore. Especially if I said something that made you think it was ok go on like this.”

“Like _what_ , exactly?” Rin growled, and Rei opened his mouth to answer, but then hesitated. Rin got the feeling he’d been about to say something he knew he shouldn’t and thought better of it.

He and Rei had somehow ended up invading each other’s personal space once again. Their faces and chests were mere inches apart, but Rei didn’t back off.

“…You’re being ridiculous,” he muttered eventually, looking away.

“Oh, I’m sorry, is that your _opinion_?” Rin said mockingly. “I thought that didn’t count anymore!”

Rei sighed, letting his previously rigid posture slump. “What on earth is going through your head? It’s not like you to act so irresponsibly.”

“It’s got nothing to do with you, so why do you even care?”

Rin could have sworn Rei almost looked hurt. “Did it ever occur to you that I might be worried about you?”

…It _hadn’t_ occurred to him, as a matter of fact, and the mere possibility was enough to throw Rin off for a brief moment. But then he shook his head.

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know that,” Rei said. “And I’ve always admired your independence, but this is just plain stubbornness. Your swimming isn’t the only thing that’ll suffer if you keep this up. And besides,” he added, just as Rin opened his mouth to tell him to save the lecture, “I would have thought that you of all people would want to take every precaution a situation like this warrants after what happened to your friend Yamazaki-san.”

Rin tensed up, feeling the last of his composure slip away from him like a kite with its string cut. He jabbed Rei in the chest.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said coldly. “So just leave it. I’m done talking about thi—”

“Oh…” Rei interrupted, looking thoughtful all of a sudden, as though he’d just come to some sort of realization. He didn’t move out of Rin’s way. “That’s it, isn’t?” he continued, looking down at Rin uncertainly. “What happened to Yamazaki-san—You’re just scared, aren’t you? That’s why you won’t see a doctor. You’re scared they’re going to tell you your career is over and you can never swim again.” Rin gaped at him, but Rei kept going, completely unaware of the effect his words were having. “So that’s it? You’re just going to keep ignoring the problem because you’re afraid you might not like the solution? Right—of _course_ that’s your plan. I should have known you’d think like that. Everything always has to be so dramatic with you, doesn’t it? But Rin-san, you’re being completely irrational. I highly doubt whatever is wrong with you is anything that serious.”

“…Do you know that for a _fact_ , Rei?” Rin hissed, almost scaring himself with how deadly calm he sounded. “Can you _promise_ me it isn’t ‘ _anything that serious_ ’?”

 “Well, no,” Rei said, looking confused. “I can’t.”

“And why is that?” Rin pressed, leaning forward.

“Because… I don’t know if it is or not. I don’t think it is, but I might be wrong.”

“Is that so?” A harsh laugh huffed its way out Rin, even as every part of his brain screamed at him to stop. “Well, this is a first. Rei Ryuugazaki actually admits he might be wrong about something. That’s funny—I thought you knew _everything_.”

Rei glared at him. “I _don’t_ know everything.”

“Well, then,” Rin said, his voice shaky and volume increasing on every word. “Maybe you should you _act_ like it for once in your life and just. _Shut. Up!_ ”

He regretted the words as soon as they left him.

He wanted to gather them back into his mouth, chew them up into something unrecognizable, and swallow them so they never saw the light of day again—kind of like how the silence that followed was threatening to swallow _him_. He opened his mouth in a panic, but Rei cut him off.

“Fine,” he said coolly, and apart from a slight narrowing of his eyes, he looked unaffected by Rin’s outburst. His face was a blank slate. “Here.” He shoved the bottle of pills at Rin’s chest.

Rin fumbled for them and just barely managed to catch them before they fell to the floor. By the time he looked up, Rei was halfway out the door.

“What are you doing?” Rin asked quietly, looking down at the pills.

“Shutting up,” Rei replied without turning around, and he shut the door firmly behind him, leaving Rin alone in the bathroom. The effect was truly devastating, though Rei ruined it somewhat by bursting in less than ten seconds later to add, “But if you’re _really_ going to take those, then at least eat something first!”

“Rei, wait! I—”

Rei closed the door again, and this time he didn’t come back.

Rin released a long breath, which only succeeded in making his shoulders even tenser than they already were. He put the bottle of painkillers back in the medicine cabinet and hobbled to his room, cursing his stupid mouth.

Because that had really, really, not been an ok thing to say, no matter how pissed off he was. Rin couldn’t even remember the last time he’d blown up at someone like that. Well, except for maybe earlier with Haru, but that had been different. Rei… had just been trying to help him... probably. Either way, he definitely didn’t deserve what Rin had given him.

 _And that’s exactly why I don’t tell people things_ , Rin reflected soon after as he lay in bed—on his stomach and trying very hard to ignore the discomfort.

It wasn’t just Rei, though. Rin wasn’t terribly comfortable confiding in _any_ of his friends. Not because he didn’t trust them or anything. It was more like he didn’t trust _himself_.

Because more often than not he ended up taking his problems out on the same people who wanted to help him solve them. It was something Rin had struggled with for years—Ever since he’d come back from Australia with a chip on his shoulder that he tried to pawn off on every person who came within five feet of him.

He’d thought that he’d gotten better about that, now that he was older and… well, _happier_. Once he’d gotten his friends back, he’d made it his mission to never put them through something like that ever again. But despite all the effort he put into shielding them from the part of him that was still a cagey, mixed-up teenager, it still managed to get the better of him sometimes.

Look at how easy it had been for Rei to draw it out of him. But then again, Rei was… special.

It had, of late, become something a personal challenge for Rin to see how much of his business he could keep to himself under Rei’s watchful eyes. Rei had always been able to read him like a book—flipping precisely to the pages Rin preferred people to skip and leaving him open there. It had been like that ever since they’d met. Rei, it seemed, had no qualms about laying him bare, and Rin had never quite come to terms with it—which was why he tended to… react badly.

It was just… Did he always have to be so _right_ all the time?

All he’d had to do was look at Rin to figure out that thing about Sousuke, and the real reason Rin was so terrified of getting himself checked out. And of course he’d felt the need to point out how stupid he was being, as if Rin weren’t already painfully aware of that. _Yes_ , it was stupid, but that was just how he felt! What did Rei think he was going to accomplish by getting on his case about it. Why did he even _bother_?

_Has it ever occurred to you that I might be worried about you?_

Rei’s words echoed in Rin’s head and he felt his cheeks heat up. He turned over in bed and tried to banish the memory.

 _Whatever_. Even if he had been worried about Rin, he certainly wouldn’t be _now_ , would he? 

* * *

It wasn’t until the early hours of the morning that Rin finally managed to fall into a fitful sleep. Consequently, by the time he woke up, it was the middle of the afternoon and he’d missed most of his classes.

It was fitting, Rin supposed as he made no move to get out of bed. He’d already fucked up every other aspect of his life in the last twenty-four hours. Might as well give his education the same treatment while he was at it.

…He didn’t _actually_ mean that, of course, so he eventually managed to rouse himself enough to get his computer out so he could email all of his professors. He was going to need that education now that swimming was beginning to look like a… less viable option.

Not that he knew that for sure. Maybe Rin really was just being dramatic. But he couldn’t help it. There was nothing else in the world he wanted to do besides swim. Rin had devoted his entire life to swimming, and just the thought of that being taken away from him was enough to send tremors of fear coursing through his body. He had absolutely no idea how Sousuke had been able to cope with it, and he wished now more than ever that he hadn’t done whatever it was he’d done that had made Sousuke not want to tell him about it.  Rin had barely been able to keep it together this entire week. The only thing that had stopped him from having some sort of a nervous breakdown was his own dogged refusal to see a doctor and get it confirmed one way or another. It was silly, he knew, but he just felt like it’d be tantamount to… giving in or something. As though he could will the problem away just by pretending it didn’t exist.

In other words, Rei had been spot on as usual.

And the worst part was that whatever happened, Rin would have no one to blame but himself.

However, bearing that in mind…

Rin still ended up going to the gym anyway. Because he just had to make _absolutely sure_ that there was nothing left in him. Call it stubbornness (which was what Rei already _had_ called it) or stupidity (which Rei had artfully _tiptoed_ around calling it) but even though Rin was nearing some sort of breaking point, he wasn’t quite ready to call it quits just yet.

That was, until he sat down at the lat machine and couldn’t even manage to lift 50 kilos before a spasm of pain shot through his back.

The weights dropped back down with a loud smack of metal on metal, and several people turned to look his way.

Some body-builder type who was using the next machine over smirked at him. "Maybe you should start with something a little smaller next time."

Rin stood up—resisting the urge to inform this idiot that he could normally lift  110kg without breaking a sweat, since he was pretty sure no one would actually _believe_ him at this point—and left.

…Well, he thought numbly as he limped back to the locker room in utter defeat. That was… pretty much the final straw, wasn’t it?

Quickly—before he had time to talk himself out of it—Rin took his phone out and typed out a text message.

 

 **To:** Rei Ryugazaki

 **Message:** What was the name of that clinic you mentioned yesterday?

 

He almost expected Rei not to answer—wouldn’t have blamed him if he didn’t. It was entirely likely they weren’t on speaking terms at the moment.

But then Rin’s phone buzzed. Rei had texted him not only the name but also the address. _Without_ comment, Rin was half-relieved, half-disappointed to note.

With grave resignation, he packed up his stuff and headed to the train station.

He was going to do it. If not for the sake of his health and his future, then at least for his _pride_ —It had been _50_ fucking kilograms, for God’s sake.

And… maybe he was kind of doing it for Rei, too. Just a little bit. Since he seemed to feel so… strongly about it. Rin knew he was going to have to apologize later in person, but maybe this was a good way to start.

 

A few hours later, Rin walked through the door of his apartment feeling a little humbled, a little foolish, and immensely _relieved_.

A little _too_ relieved, actually. He was practically floating on air and all he wanted to do was celebrate, but that was going to have to wait. There was something he had to take care of first, so he reined himself in a bit as he entered the living room.

It was around 6 o’ clock on a Thursday evening, so Rin wasn’t all that surprised to see that Rei was home. He was, however, a little surprised to see what he was _doing_. Rin stopped short and watched him for a few moments.

Rei was sitting up ramrod straight on the couch with his arm held out in front of him and the remote control in his hand. He appeared to be flipping through the channels one by one, his mouth slightly open. That was a first. Rin wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Rei watch TV.

He shuffled further into the room and cleared his throat.

“Did we always have this many channels?” Rei asked without looking up at him.  

“Um… Yes?” Rin replied cautiously.

“This is the first time I’ve ever gone through them all. It’s ridiculous—I’ve counted 203 so far.” Rei sounded completely mystified. “My hand is getting tired. Tell me how many there are so I can stop.”

“I don’t know. Like 250-something?”

“Which one of us is paying for this? It’s not me, is it? I rarely use the television.”

“Relax. I’m paying for it.” Or his _mom_ was, technically. He’d asked for the premium package for his birthday last year.

“Why do you need 250 channels?” Rei demanded, still not looking at him.

Rin blushed. “I like having options,” he said irritably, throwing his stuff down and sitting down next to Rei. “Don’t act like I’m the weird one here. Who doesn’t watch TV?”

Rei just crossed his arms and made a big show of leaning forward and staring fixedly at the children’s program he’d stopped on.

“…So,” Rin said after a moment. “No homework tonight?”

“There’s _always_ homework,” Rei replied snippily. “I’m only out here because it just so happens that one of my assignments is to view a documentary that’s airing tonight.”

“I see…” Rin bit his lip. “Then, before that, can we um—“

“Did you notice that this cartoon-bird-thing doesn’t have ears?” Rei interrupted, his gaze still resolutely fixed on the screen. “How are those glasses staying on its head?”

Rin tugged the remote out of his hand and turned the TV off. Though the silence that followed kind of made him wish he hadn’t.

“…So,” he said eventually, looking off to the side—because _two_ could play at that game. “I, uh… went to that sports medicine clinic-type place. I… was at the gym earlier and kinda made a complete idiot of myself at one of the machines, so I figured it was probably time I… _stopped_ being an idiot.”

“That sounds like a smart decision,” Rei said neutrally.

“I’m, um… _ok_ ,” Rin continued, since Rei didn’t ask. “Turn’s out it’s just some minor muscle strain. So… you were right. Or—well, _I_ was right, but that’s what you thought it was, too, so we were… both right. So, that’s good. I mean, it’s not _good_ , but it’s not, like, a herniated disk, or whatever, so… There’s probably a name for it, but to be honest, I kind of stopped listening after they told me I was going to be fine. Um, anyway, I guess I kind of… made it a bigger deal than it needed to be. In my defense, though, it really does hurt a hell of a lot. The doctor told me it’s probably because I’ve got a low pain threshold. Like I’m overly sensitive to it, or something like that. _Huge_ newsflash, right? _Me_ … overly sensitive…?” Rin trailed off with an awkward chuckle and rubbed the back of neck. Rei had finally turned towards him and was watching him carefully.

“I’m sorry,” Rin said quietly. “About last night. What I said. It was—”

“It’s ok.” Rei shrugged.

“Yeah, you say that, but… it really isn’t. So at least let me finish apologizing before you decide to forgive me or not.”

“You were always forgiven, Rin-san. It wasn’t contingent on your apology.”

Rin blushed but shook his head. “I shouldn’t have freaked out on you,” he said firmly. “Especially when you were… trying to help me.”

“It was your business,” Rei said, looking down at his lap. “I shouldn’t have tried to meddle. I’m sure it was annoying.” 

“Yeah, well, believe it or not, I actually kind of… appreciate you meddling.” Rei gave him a skeptical look and Rin laughed, releasing some of the tension that had built up in his shoulders. “Ok,” he amended. “Maybe _appreciate_ isn’t really what I mean. Because you’re right; it _is_ really annoying. But let’s see, how do I put it so you’ll understand? Um… Ok.” He angled his body toward Rei and looked him in the eye. “You know that thing about how an object in motion will stay in motion unless acted on by a greater force?”

Rei raised an eyebrow. “I fail to see what Newton’s first law has to do with this. And you’re missing quite a—”

“Well, the same thing applies to me,” Rin continued. “Once I start… making mistakes, I tend to _keep_ making them until acted on by a greater force.”

Rei stared at him blankly. Rin rolled his eyes and let out a small sigh.

“ _You’re_ the greater force.”

“…Oh,” Rei said, nodding slowly. And then he started laughing. Really, really _hard_. Like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

Rin grimaced, watching him as he doubled over and clutched at his sides. “…Not good?”

“I’m—sorry!” Rei gasped out. He took off glasses and wiped at his eyes. “It wasn’t—! I’m not laughing at you, I promise!”

Rin crossed his arms and turned away, grumbling, “Science isn’t my thing, ok?”

“Apparently neither are metaphors!” Rei was still giggling to himself a bit. He seemed to realize Rin was trying to be serious, though, and managed to pull himself together. “But… I think I understand what you mean.”

“ _God,_ I hope so,” Rin muttered, slumping down against the back of the couch. He wasn’t sure he had the energy to try and explain himself further. He was embarrassed enough as it was.

They both fell quiet after that. And the entire situation was distressingly reminiscent of the last time they’d both been seated on this couch.

…Geez, first whatever the hell happened at that stupid party and now _this_. Rin hadn’t even managed to go two weeks without messing things up.

The silence stretched on. Luckily, before Rin could open his mouth to say something stupid about how they should start calling this ‘the apology couch, ’ Rei suddenly said, “Rin-san, what’s that?”

“What’s what?” Rin turned his head to see that Rei was looking down at the piece of gauze taped to the inside of his elbow. “Oh, that’s nothing. They just wanted to have my blood work on file in case I ever decided to come back… Like _that’s_ gonna happen,” he added with a snort. “There’s no way I’m gonna risk going behind the school’s back again. Besides, do you know how much this visit cost me? I’m pretty sure they even charged extra ‘cause it was a walk-in… Huh… Now I’m kind of annoyed I let them do it. It was pretty painful, too. I don’t think that nurse knew what she was doing. She kept complaining about how hard it was to find a vein, like it was _my_ fault or something, which was really—” Rin realized he was babbling and cut himself off. “…Uh, sorry,” he said with a self-conscious laugh. “That was kind of a lot of nonessential information.”

Rei, who had been listening attentively to Rin’s nervous chatter, smiled at him. “Did you know that physical activity increases white blood cell production?” he said randomly, apparently feeling it necessary to offer some nonessential information of his own.

Rin blinked at him. “I… yeah, I did know that, actually,” he said, smiling back, even though he was a little confused. And for some reason, Rei blushed all the way up to his ears.

“Well, I—I just meant—” he stammered, adjusting his glasses and looking away. “You said you were at the gym before, didn’t you? So your blood sample might show an elevated white blood cell count. They’ll probably call you to ask you about it—as a precautionary measure. Since that can… sometimes be indicative of various… health… problems…” He trailed off, still looking flustered.

“…Oh,” Rin said, watching him with puzzlement. “Yeah, I, uh, mentioned it to them. About going to the gym, I mean. Probably didn’t make that much a difference, though. I was only there for about fifteen minutes before I… um. Anyway…” He looked down at his arm with a grimace and picked at the edges of the tape. “…it’s probably stopped bleeding by now. I should tear this thing off before I chicken out.”

Rei let out a surprised laugh as Rin gritted his teeth and slowly peeled the piece of tape off his arm.

“That didn’t hurt at all!” he declared once he’d crumpled it up.

“You’re very brave,” Rei said soothingly.

Rin’s smile faded. He rubbed at the eye that had teared up—because he was lying, that had been fucking painful—and turned his head away.

“…No, I’m not,” he said quietly. Now it was Rei’s turn to look puzzled. “Not really. I was… scared.”

“Well, that’s understandable. But… it’s over now. And you managed to get through it in one piece.”

Rei seemed to know that Rin wasn’t talking about the stupid strip of tape.

And it was weird, but… as hard as it had been for him to make that admission just now, Rin suddenly wanted to admit a lot of other things, too. He wanted to tell Rei how he’d almost had a panic attack on the train ride to the clinic, and how he nearly bolted twice during his hour-long stint in the waiting room. He wanted to tell Rei how he’d spent practically the entire week in alternating states of terror and denial and that he was _still_ a little unnerved by the whole thing.

And most of all, he wanted to tell Rei that he’d been absolutely _right_ in everything he’d said about Rin the other night in the bathroom.

He _wanted_ to tell Rei all those things… but he didn’t. He had his pride to consider, after all. Or what was left of it.

Rin sighed. “Yeah. I guess I did.”

“Um… if you don’t my asking,” Rei began hesitantly, reaching across Rin to turn the lamp on. The room had gotten darker now that the sun was going down. “What did they say about your prognosis?”

“My…? Oh, _that_.” Rin shrugged. “Nothing dire or anything. I mean, I’m gonna take these things—” He leaned over to rummage around in his bag and emerged with a bottle of muscle relaxers. “—and I’m banned from doing anything active for the next ten days, but I should be good to go after that… I hope,” he added with a nervous laugh.

Rei nodded. “So no swimming or training for ten days, then,” he said, raising a dubious eyebrow. “You sure you can manage that?”

“Well, I’m gonna _have_ to, aren’t I?” Rin said testily. He took a deep breath. “…It could be worse. I’ll just tell my coach I’m sick or something. I’ve never missed a practice before, so it’s not like he can complain. And break’s coming up… I’ll have plenty of time to rest… And then I’ll be good as new in time for the next competition and everything will be fine,” he finished, crossing his arms and nodding decisively to himself.

“And if it isn’t?” Rei inquired.

Rin hesitated.

“… I’m not gonna worry about it,” he eventually said, with as carefree a shrug as he could manage. But then Rei started laughing again, and Rin realized he was being teased.

“That was almost convincing!” Rei said hiding his smile behind his hand.

“Right?” Rin agreed with a sigh. “I even had myself going there for a second.”

Rei sobered all of a sudden. “…You know,” he said after a moment. “As relieved as I am that everything turned out alright, I do hope you learned something from this, Rin-san.”

“Hey, now—” Rin began, about to tell him to lay off. But he hesitated, realizing he probably owed it to Rei to play along. “—I mean… Yeah. I’ll be more careful from now on… And try not to go overboard on the training again.”

“I don’t really understand why you felt like you needed to in the first place,” Rei said, still regarding Rin seriously. “I doubt it made that much of a difference. You’re an exceptional swimmer, Rin-san. You know that, don’t you?”

“That’s..." Rin flushed and turned his head away. “Well, that’s neither here nor there. But, um… Anyway—” He shook his and turned back to Rei. “—Looks like I’m stuck here for the night. You know, since going to practice is out. I guess that means you’re going to have to find some way to entertain me.”

“Oh, that’ll be easy!” Rei said gamely. “The documentary is going to start soon. It’s about deforestation in Southeast Asia. I’m certain you'll find it fascinating!”

“Well, sure,” Rin said with a grimace as he got to his feet. He didn’t really know what he’d had in mind, but it definitely wasn’t that. “Who doesn’t love deforestation?”

“I sincerely hope you don’t mean that, Rin-san. Over 80% of the earth’s forests have been destroyed due to industrial logging and subsistence agriculture, which threatens the survival of several plant and animal species and is also having a detrimental effect on the local economies of the afflicted areas due to the increasingly prevalent food shortages that result from….”

Rei’s rant followed Rin into the kitchen, where he heated up some food and tried not to regret leaving himself in Rei’s care for the night. He was still sort of in apology-mode, though so he figured he could suffer through it.

“…such as forest fires and overgrazing, so some of it is beyond human control, I’m afraid, but that doesn’t change the fact that it stems mostly from a desire for money, which is completely—”

“Alright, alright,” Rin said, setting his food down on the coffee table and taking a seat on the floor. “You’re gonna ruin the whole documentary for me. Cool it with the spoilers.”

“You can’t _spoil_ a documentary. Besides, I’m only giving you background information.”

“You know, I’m probably just going to end up falling asleep in the middle of it,” Rin said, shifting around a bit on the floor to try and take some of the pressure off his lower back. Nothing really worked, though, so he gave up sat back down on the couch. Rei moved over accommodatingly so Rin could stretch out some, but there ended up not being enough room.

“Do you mind?” Rin nudged the side of Rei’s leg with a foot, tilting his head to the side and biting his lip. “I’m in _pain_ ,” he added feebly.

“If you must,” Rei said with a roll of his eyes. He lifted his notebook out of the way and allowed Rin to drape his legs over his lap.

“Thanks,” Rin said with a contented sigh, much more comfortable now that he was able to recline. It was nice that he could act as pathetic as he wanted, now that he wasn’t trying to hide it anymore. “You know, we should really think about buying some more furniture… Oh, you can put your notebook down on me, if you want. I’ll stay still while you’re writing.”

Rei nodded distractedly and lowered the notebook he’d been keeping hovered over Rin’s legs. From what Rin could see from his position, his ears seemed to have turned red again.

He was about to say something about it when Rei suddenly blurted, “Did you know that those cause drowsiness?”

Confused, Rin sat up on his elbows and saw that Rei was pointing at the bottle of muscle relaxers he’d left in the coffee table. “Oh yeah?”

 Rei nodded vigorously. “Y-yes,” he said, still blushing. “It’s a common side effect of muscle relaxers—and—Well, I’ve heard it can be rather pleasant, actually. People sometimes get addicted to them, as a matter of fact… But um… What I _meant_ to say was that if you take it right now, you’ll probably start to feel tired around 8:30 or so, and you’ll be able to go bed… N-not that I’m saying you have to!” he added hastily. “I only mean… I know you stayed up really late last night, so you’re probably... already tired. And the medicine… will make you even more tired… so you’ll be able to sleep… if you want to…”

“…Oh, ok,” Rin said, valiantly holding back the laughter that was trying to force its way out of him. He got the feeling Rei wouldn’t appreciate it. “That’s good to know, I guess. You’re just a fount of information tonight, aren’t you?”

“Am—am I?” Rei said faintly, blushing even harder now. He seemed to be experiencing some sort of internal struggle. Rin would have been concerned if it weren't so entertaining to watch.

“Nervous habit?” he guessed. He reached for the bottle of muscle relaxers and dry-swallowed one. “I’ve noticed that before, actually. The way you start spouting facts when you get freaked out.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rei said, reaching shakily for his water bottle. “And how did you do that?” he added, looking irritated. “Those pills are enormous.”

“Zero gag reflex,” Rin said proudly. Rei choked on the sip of water he’d just taken. “So,” he continued over Rei’s coughing. “What are you so nervous about?”

“I’m not nervous and it’s not a habit!” Rei snapped. “Eat your dinner. You’re not supposed to take those on an empty stomach.”

“Hey, Rei… Do you want me to move my legs?”

“…I’m turning on the TV now,” Rei said pointedly, and this time Rin really did laugh.

Though he did make sure to move his legs after that.

He’d kind of forgotten until now, but… Rei wasn’t really big on physical contact to begin with, and considering the recent… _events_ Rin had gotten him mixed up in, it made sense that he’d want to reestablish a few boundaries.

The thought made Rin sad for some reason, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it. Rei’s documentary started soon after that, and Rin was soon putting a great deal of effort into paying attention. He wasn’t particularly interested, but Rei clearly was, so Rin figured he should at least _try_ to get into it.

And to his credit, he did manage to make it through the first hour and a half before his breathing slowed and his eyelids began to droop. Luckily, the documentary cut to a particularly loud scene involving chainsaws before he could doze off completely.

“Whoa,” he said, slowly sitting up from the armrest he’d been practically draped over and blinking groggily.

Rei, who had been deeply absorbed in taking notes, started slightly and glanced over at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Rin shook his head. “Just really tired, that’s all. In a good way, I mean… Like I think I might actually be able to fall asleep like this. It’s _that_ kind of tired.”

“Well, you certainly do _look_ tired,” Rei said in amusement, and Rin wondered if he knew how little sleep he’d gotten in the last few days. He probably did. Rei knew everything. “In a good way, I mean,” he added with a small smile. “Going to bed?”

“Of course,” Rin said, even though it was only about 8:30—another thing Rei had been right about, but he wasn’t going to mention it. “Can’t waste an opportunity like this, can I?”

He stood up with a yawn, stretching his arms over his head before carefully bending down to gather up all the stuff he had lying out on the table.

“Don’t worry about your dishes,” Rei said. “I’ll take care of them. You just get some sleep.”

“Thanks,” Rin said through another yawn, dragging his duffle bag behind him and absently ruffling Rei’s hair as he passed by. “Man, this is exciting. I’m so ready for all of this to be over. I actually think I’m feeling better already, you know?”

“That’s impossible,” Rei scoffed. “You’re probably just delirious because the pain’s been dulled a bit. It’ll take at least three days for the combination of rest and medication to even begin to have any sort of long-term restorative effect.”

 “Yeah, you’re probably right,” Rin said. “But… just let me pretend, ok? At least for a while. ‘Cause until there _is_ some sort of ‘long-term restorative effect,’ it’s the only thing that’s gonna keep me from going completely insane.”

Rei was silent for a moment—probably trying and failing to process something so _illogical_ , Rin figured. But then—

“Um, Rin-san?”

Rin paused at the door to his bedroom and turned around to look at him.

“I’m… glad you’re feeling better…?” Rei said. He gave Rin a slightly strained, but hopeful smile, as if to ask _Am I doing it right? Is this what you want?_

Rin just smiled and shook his head, shutting his door behind him.

It was pretty clear that Rei was never going to be entirely comfortable with allowing Rin to delude himself—even on the tiniest things.

…But still. Rin appreciated the effort.

* * *

Despite everything, Rin did not get nearly as much sleep as he would have liked that night.

And not through any fault of his own, for once.

Going to bed last night had been the most novel experience, a _pleasure_ , even—no tossing and turning, no racing thoughts keeping him awake. He fell asleep practically the moment his head hit the pillow. Now, he knew that he was going to have to attribute some of that to the medication, but… a big part of him actually thought that maybe it was also because he’d finally run out of things to worry about. The whole back pain issue was pretty much out of his hands now, after all. So Rin allowed himself to believe that _just maybe_ he’d finally achieved the sort of peace of mind that allowed for a normal sleeping schedule.

So when his phone started beeping at 5 a.m. on Friday morning, Rin blearily grabbed it off his bedside table, fully intending to turn the alarm off so he could go back to sleep and hopefully resume that really good swimming dream he’d woken up from. He had definitely been winning.

But then he saw that sometime during the night, he’d gotten a text message from Sousuke.

Suddenly Rin was wide-awake.

 

 **From** : Sousuke Yamazaki

 **Message** : Hey. Been a while. Just heard from Kisumi that you’re going to a meet in France pretty soon. He couldn’t give me a name but I’m assuming it’s the Intercollegiate Tournament?? If that’s the case, then I totally get why you didn’t tell me yourself. I mean, it’s only your first international competition, right? Not like it’s a big deal or anything.

 

 **Message:** That was sarcasm, by the way. In case you didn’t pick up on that. The ICT is a HUGE deal! Congratulations, weirdo. I mean, what, did it just slip your mind or something?

 

Rin stared down at the screen for a long time, his heart hammering guiltily against his ribs.

…He _had_ to reply. He couldn’t just ignore him. But he had absolutely no idea what to say.

And there was no way he was going to be able to fall back asleep with this hanging over his head, so Rin reluctantly slipped out of the cozy confines of his bed and blankets and went into the kitchen.

Almost in a daze, he sat down at the table and continued gazing down at his phone, which was still open on Sousuke’s message.

How had he sounded so casual, Rin wondered. It had been nearly four months since they’d talked last. And then for him to just text Rin out of nowhere—well, maybe not entirely out of nowhere, thanks to _Kisumi,_ but…

Honestly, what was Sousuke playing at? Didn’t he know—Oh. Well, there was Rin’s answer right there. Sousuke _didn’t_ know that Rin knew. That was the entire point. Sousuke probably had no idea Kisumi had spilled about his surgery. As far he was concerned, things between the two of them were completely normal. But then where did that leave _Rin_?

Luckily, before Rin could think himself into another crisis, Rei chose that moment to wander into the kitchen. He walked right past the table without noticing Rin, turned on the lights, and began rummaging in fridge.

He was already dressed in his running gear, Rin noticed—and he was surprised at the amount of regret that accompanied this observation. This was going to be the first Friday they wouldn’t be going running together. The first of many, unfortunately. The doctor had said Rin was going to have to cut running out of his training for a few months as a precaution. It was a necessary sacrifice, of course. Swimming had to come first, but… Rin had really liked running with Rei.

Rei still hadn’t noticed he was there. He’d found what he was looking for in the fridge, and had moved on to fixing himself a cup of coffee. He looked… different, somehow. Rin watched him work for a few moments, trying to figure out what it was.

Well, Rei evidently hadn’t brushed his hair yet for one thing. But that wasn’t it. Rin had seen it like that plenty of times. A fact of which he’d become increasingly appreciative lately—though with no small amount of guilt, given that when Rei’s hair was like that, it was usually because he was too tired to do something about it. It was weird… Rei was always so neat and tidy, and usually Rin was all _about_ neat and tidy. But truth be told, he actually preferred it when Rei was a little messy. Or maybe disheveled was a better word, or—

 _Anyway_. That wasn’t it.

Rei turned his head slightly, affording Rin a better look at his profile and… Oh. That was it. Rei wasn’t wearing his glasses. Rin was surprised it hadn’t immediately jumped out at him. Unlike the hair, Rei without his glasses was an exceptionally rare sight.

“Hey,” Rin said.

Rei screamed and spun around, his coffee mug raised in a threatening manner. But once he saw Rin sitting at the table, he managed to catch himself.

“Don’t _do_ that!” he wailed over Rin’s raucous laughter, lowering the mug back onto the counter.

“What, were you gonna _throw_ that at me?”

“Just be glad I didn’t! I could have knocked you out! Or given you third degree burns!”

“Doubt it. You probably would have missed. Where in the world are your glasses, Rei?”

"What do you mean? I’m wearing th—” Rei brought a hand up to his face to adjust the glasses that weren’t there. “…Oh.”

He looked so confused that Rin started laughing again. “Don’t worry—it’s actually a good look for you!”

“That’s not right…” Rei said to himself, blushing slightly and shaking his head. He patted himself down and dug around his pockets without success before traipsing defeatedly back into his bedroom. A moment later, he emerged with his glasses back in their rightful place. And there really wasn’t, Rin realized, a huge difference between Rei with his glasses and Rei without his glasses, and he now felt a little foolish for getting so excited about it.

“Anyway,” Rei said, looking much more at ease now. “What are you doing up this early? Aren’t you supposed to be convalescing?”

“Oh…” Rin glanced down at his phone, that foolish feeling increasing in size and intensity. “…Uh, force of habit, I guess.” Rei seemed willing to accept that, so Rin decided to run with it. “It feels kind of weird,” he added tentatively. “I’ve gotten so used to it, you know? Running with you, I mean.”

Rei nodded. “It’ll… probably be a little lonely without you,” he said, sounding like he was half-joking, but maybe half- _not_. And that made Rin feel weirdly giddy for some reason.

“Um… wait here for a sec,” he blurted, jumping up from the table.

He darted to his bedroom and returned a few seconds later with a pair of earphones.He wound them around his phone and shoved it at Rei’s chest.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Listen to music, of course!” Rin said eagerly. “I noticed that you never do when you go running. How come? It’s much less boring that way.”

Rei shrugged. “I guess I just prefer the sound of my own thoughts.”

 _“Gross,_ I can’t even imagine,” Rin said with an exaggerated shudder. “Trust me, it’s way better with music.”

“Is this another swimsuit-type situation?” Rei inquired. “I have to take it or you’ll be insulted, right?”

“ _Horribly_ insulted. We’re talking a major blow to our friendship, here. One of us will probably have to move out.”

Rei laughed as he began scrolling through the playlists. “What do you have on here?”

“Pissed off rock bands. English, mostly. They’re really good for running. Lots of screaming and heavy bass. And just… you know.” Rin shrugged. “Loud.”

“How nice. It’ll be like you’re right there with me,” Rei said, clutching the phone to his heart in mock-sentimentality.

Rin laughed and started walking him out. “Make sure you turn the volume all the way up, or else you won’t get the full effect. And don’t worry if your ears start to bleed. That’s just part of the fun.”

“I’ll look forward to it,” Rei said, pausing at the door. He was giving Rin a strange look. “…Um, Rin-san. I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but... are you alright?”

Rin’s smile faded a bit. “Uh… yeah. I think so. Why?”

“No reason… You still seem tired, that’s all.”

“Well, maybe I’ll go back to bed after this.” Rei nodded, though he didn’t look all that reassured as he turned to leave. “Anyway, have fun without me,” Rin added hastily from the doorway as Rei headed down the hall. “And I was kidding about the volume, by the way. Please don’t blow out your eardrums. That probably hurts.”

“Thanks for the warning,” Rei said over his shoulder.

Once he disappeared up the stairs, Rin shut the door and stood there for a little while, feeling immensely… confused.

…Just what had he gone and done _that_ for? Rin never let _anyone_ touch his phone, not even his own sister. Yet he had just handed it over to Rei without a second thought! What was he even supposed to _do_ now?

 _Sleep, I guess?_ Rin thought, stumbling back into his room and collapsing onto his bed. At the very least, he’d bought himself some time to think of a reply for Sousuke.

 

Several hours later, Rin was _still_ trying to think of that reply.

It wasn’t his fault, though! He really had ended up falling back to sleep that morning, and after he woke he’d had a full day of classes to occupy his brain. He’d get back to Sousuke tonight for sure. After all, he genuinely had nothing better to do.

On his way home that evening, Rin stopped by the natatorium to apologize to his coach for missing practice yesterday and to break it to him that he wouldn’t be able to set foot in the water until after break was over—Because he was _sick_ , of course. Not for any other reason.

Coach Fujimiya took the news surprisingly well.

“Understood,” he said after Rin had finished explaining. “Take all the time you need, Matsuoka. The pool’s not going anywhere.”

“Well… thank you,” Rin said. What he didn’t say was that it wasn’t really the _pool_ not going anywhere that concerned him.

But it turned out he didn’t need to.

“And don’t worry about the ICT,” Coach Fujimiya added. “That’s not going to help you get better any faster. I’m pretty happy with the lineup I’ve already put together, so don’t think I’m going to start holding trials to find your replacement the second you walk out the door. We’ll just wait until you’re back on your feet and regroup then, if necessary.”

Rin exhaled and felt his shoulders relax. “Yes, sir,” he said, not even caring how obviously relieved he sounded. Just that small reassurance that he wasn’t going to be booted from roster just yet was a load off his mind.

“You know… If you don’t mind me saying, Matsuoka,” said Coach Fujimiya, who had been watching him carefully. “I actually think this might be just what you need. A blessing in disguise, so to speak.”

“Sir?”

 “You know, a lot people forget that competing is as much a mental feat as it is a physical one. But I don’t think you’re one of those people. And that’s why I want you to take this as an opportunity to do a little regrouping yourself. It won’t do you any good just turning the engine off. You need to take the key _out_ of the ignition.”

“Um…” Rin was confused. Possibly because he didn’t own a car?

Luckily, Coach Fujimiya seemed to pick up on this. “What I’m saying, Matsuoka, is that if you’re going to take a step back from the water, then step _all_ the way back. Don’t think about swimming or goals or competitions. Just clear your mind. It’ll be good for you. As a matter of fact, if you hadn’t gotten sick, I probably would have made up my mind to tell you to take a few days off, myself… I thought you seemed preoccupied,” he explained at Rin’s startled look. “People like you tend to get antsy after big wins like the one you had recently—Always thinking about how the bar is just _that much_ higher, how it’s going to be just _that much_ harder to outdo yourself.”

“I’m sor—”

“No need to apologize. It’s a good attitude to have, actually. Keeps you grounded. But it’s also important to let go of that every now and then. Your career isn’t going anywhere without you, so just relax and try to enjoy your time off. You’ve certainly earned it.”

Rin nodded slowly “I… Thank you,” he said again. Coach Fujimya smiled and clasped his shoulder briefly.

“You’re a good swimmer, Matsuoka,” he said as he began walking away toward the other side of the pool. “And I think once you realize that yourself, you’ll be even better.”

Rin ducked his head, feeling his face heat up. He couldn’t help it. His coach was a lot more astute than Rin would have given him credit for. Or maybe Rin was just a lot more transparent. 

He tried to not to linger too long at the pool. It wasn’t like he could go in or anything, and he probably shouldn’t have been on his feet at all, actually… But it was difficult to tear himself away. Practice was in full swing, with every lane occupied and the sounds of splashing and voices echoing off the walls. It was fast and loud and chaotic and Rin was used to being right in the center of it.

He inched his way toward the exit, watching his teammates and stopping to chat with whoever called out to him, asking him what he thought he was doing showing up late to practice and not even bothering to get in the water.

Eventually, he spotted Iwashima practicing the butterfly all by himself in a lane at the far end of the pool. And for once, Rin decided that he was going to be the one to approach him. They hadn’t had a chance to talk since Wednesday night, since Rin had skipped class on Thursday. And today… well, today, he’d finally sucked it up and changed seats in poly-sci.

Rin had thought about it in bits and pieces over the last two days, and he’d come to the conclusion that if Iwashima wanted to be his rival, then Rin would do whatever he could to support him. He didn’t want to be patronizing about it, but he actually felt a little sorry for the guy. Himura—that third year who was returning to the team after break—really was a fantastic backstroke swimmer. It was more than likely that he was going to pick up right where he’d left off, and Iwashima was going to have the rug pulled out from under him.

So, yes. Rin _did_ feel sorry for Iwashima. And he also appreciated the fact that his own swimming had been enough to elicit such strong feelings in someone, even if those feelings were purely antagonistic. But that didn’t mean he had to keep subjecting himself to the resulting abuse.

Rin stopped at the end of the lane and watched with a critical eye as Iwashima completed his lap. And now that he was able to see it out of the water, he realized that Iwashima’s butterfly was very rough around the edges. Not terrible, but it needed work.

Iwashima soon hit the wall below him and immediately ripped off his goggles to check the timer. Rin cleared his throat.

Iwashima glanced up at him, still panting. “Hey, Matsuoka. I was wondering if you were gonna show up today. Surely you’ve had enough time to recover from Wednesday night.”

Rin shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, well. I’m actually heading back out in a minute.”

“ _Reeaally_?” Iwashima drawled, looking him up and down. “Well, that’s new. You got a busy schedule of neck-biting and dick-sucking planned for the evening? Or is it neck-sucking and dick-biting? I forget.”

“Actually, I’m pretty much wide open tonight,” Rin said with a pleasant smile. “Why, you want me to pencil you in?”

Iwashima gaped at him, for once unable to come up with something to say, and Rin spent a good fifteen seconds laughing at his scandalized expression before announcing, “I’m sick!”

“Yes, you are!” Iwashima agreed fervently.

Rin shook his head, still chuckling. “No, I mean like _sick_ -sick. I’m taking some time off.”

“Oh…” Iwashima said slowly. “Then does that mean—I mean, are you gonna be back in time for—”

“Probably,” Rin said swiftly. “But… who knows? It might not work out like that.” He shrugged and tried to look like he was actually ok with that, but he doubted he did a very convincing job.

“I see…” Iwashima said thoughtfully. Then he looked up at Rin with his customary smirk back in place. “Well, don’t worry. I’ll keep your spot all nice and warm for you until you get back.”

“I appreciate it,” Rin said without a trace of sarcasm. “Make sure you work hard, ok? I don’t plan on being out of commission for very long, so take advantage of the time you have. I’m assuming you have some sort of plan worked out?”

“…What’s it to you?” Iwashima said, suddenly looking uncomfortable for some reason. “Actually, what are you even talking about?”

“Well, if you don’t have a plan, then I suggest you make one,” Rin said, ignoring him. “Actually, if you want, I could give you a few pointers. I’d have to watch you do it a few more times, but from what I’ve seen there are two or three areas in need of major improvement. Also, since you’re focusing on butterfly now, there are some different things you need to do at the gym like—”

“What are you _doing?”_ Iwashima suddenly snapped. Rin just blinked down at him, and he added “I mean why are you—”

“I know what you mean,” Rin cut him off. “And… I don’t really know why. I guess I just think… if you’re serious about beating me and you’re serious about working for it, then the least I can do is keep the playing field even. I mean, we’re still on the same team, aren’t we? That should count for something _._ At least _I_ think it should… What?”

Iwashima was squinting up at him, looking like he was trying to solve a difficult math problem. “Nothing…” he said vaguely. “It’s just… I can’t tell if you’re hitting on me or not.”

Rin rolled his eyes and turned to leave.

“…I don’t need your help,” Iwashima added. So quietly that Rin almost didn’t hear him.

He glanced at him over his shoulder. “Yeah, maybe you don’t,” he said. “But you _really_ need to to start keeping your arms higher during the recovery phase.”

He hurried away after that, hoping that Iwashima was sufficiently spooked, but also hoping he’d have the good sense to actually _follow_ the advice. God knew he needed it.

It was getting late now, and Rin knew he couldn’t keep stalling. He had to stop and get something for dinner on the way home. And there was that message he was supposed to be working on for Sousuke…

He had almost made it to the locker room when one last person stopped him.

“Rin.”

He turned to face Haru, who’d he'd known was coming up behind him.

He had been keeping an eye on Haru’s lane since he got here, and had seen him get out of the water and begin to head in his direction while he was still talking to Iwashima.

They stared at each other for a few moments.

“I—I’m not apologizing,” Rin blurted. “I didn’t do anything wrong this time… I think. I’m pretty sure I didn’t.”

Haru nodded. “You’re right."

“I am?!” Rin cried. Then he crossed his arms and turned his head away in a haughty manner. “I mean—Yes. I am. And, um… why is that, again?” He glanced at Haru out of the corner of his eye.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Haru said. “I didn’t mean to… upset you the other night.”

“What _did_ you mean to do, then?” Rin asked, dropping the pose and regarding him seriously.

“I don’t really know,” Haru said with a grimace. “I just started saying things. And I _meant_ all of them, but…”

“But…?”

“But I didn’t mean them in the capacity you thought I did,” Haru said shortly. Rin raised an eyebrow. “It had nothing to do with you, ok?”

He looked away after that, his gaze wandering back to the water, and Rin could tell he just wanted to leave it at that. But that wasn’t going to work for him.

“Listen,” he said. “In case word didn’t make it over to your lane, I’m actually not feeling all that great at the moment. I don’t have the energy to decode whatever the hell you just said, so you’re gonna have to bear with me this once and explain yourself properly… Please.”

“Are you _actually_ sick?” Haru asked. “That’s what people are saying, but…”

“Don’t change the subject,” Rin growled. Haru gave him one more searching look and then shrugged.

“It’s not that hard to figure out,” he said. “All the stuff I said about competing and rivalries and stuff? That’s just how I see it. I know you think differently… but that’s a good thing. You’re the one who has to deal with it, so I’m glad you’re, like, not completely torn up about it. I was talking about _me_. Not you. So when I said that thing about the encroaching and stuff… I really _didn’t_ mean you. You didn’t encroach. This— _our_ —rivalry or whatever you call it… I’m fine with it. And I would never lump it in with this thing you have going with Iwashima. You’re like… the exception to the rule.”

Rin nodded. “So… I’m special, is what you’re saying. Right?”

Haru rolled his eyes. “Sure, Rin. If that’s what it’ll take for you to feel better.”

“Ok,” Rin said. Because he _did_ like being called special. “Then I guess we’re good here.”

“Guess so,” Haru agreed. “But in case we’re not, please allow me to once again offer my humblest apologies. It was never my intention to project my own personal feelings about the subject onto you, thereby invalidating _your_ feelings and coming off as unsupportive of you in the face of your new challenge.”

Rin stared at him, trying to figure out why that sounded so familiar. “…Um. Thanks?”

“Sorry,” Haru said with a shrug. “Rei had me memorize that yesterday. I just wanted to get it out of my system since I ended up going off the cuff instead.”

“Wait a second— _Rei_ told you to say that to me?”

Haru nodded and Rin stared at him in disbelief. “But how did he even know? I didn’t tell him about—”

“ _I_ told him,” Haru said, giving Rin a weird look. “We had lunch together yesterday. Just like we do every Thursday. You _do_ know you’re not the only person he talks to, right? Rei belongs to everyone.”

“I know that!” Rin snapped. “But geez, he could have at least _mentioned_ something.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you would have taken that really well,” Haru said drily.

Rin shook his head and sighed “That guy really likes inserting himself into other people’s business, doesn’t he?”

“I guess. But…” Haru shrugged. “He means well.”

“Yeah. I… I know that,” Rin said again, quietly this time. “…What?” he added. Haru was leaning forward slightly and peering at him with interest.

“Nothing,” Haru said, tilting his head. “Your face is just kind of red, that’s all. Maybe you really are sick.”

* * *

Over the next few days, Rin tried his very hardest to follow his Coach Fujimya’s instructions and not think about swimming.

It was difficult at first. Swimming was on Rin’s mind in one form or another pretty much 24/7. Had been for as long as he could remember. Rin was fairly certain that the only way to get swimming out of his head completely would be to have some parts of his brain surgically removed. That was how deeply ingrained it was.

Luckily, it wasn’t long before Rin was able to find a few other things to occupy his every waking thought.

Well… just one thing, actually.

This Sousuke situation was getting out of hand. Or at least the Sousuke situation inside Rin’s _head_ was getting out of hand. Outside of his head it had sort of come to a standstill.

It was just that… with Rin being banned from working out over the school break, he literally had nothing better to do than just sit around thinking about it all day and night. The days he would normally fill with physical activity were now spilling over with an overabundance of mental activity. He had hoped his friends might provide some form of distraction, but Haru was almost always at the pool, Kisumi and Makoto both had part-time jobs, and Rei seemed to have permanently relocated to the library.

Needless to say, Rin was going a little stir crazy. He’d even managed to screw up his sleep again. He stayed up until the early hours of the morning, beating himself up over his complete and utter failure at being a good friend, and didn’t wake up until mid-afternoon.

It was just the stupidest thing. Clearly Sousuke didn’t hate him—that text message proved it. But the fact remained that Rin had done _something_ to make Sousuke not want—or not trust him enough—to tell him about his surgery. This wouldn’t be the first time Sousuke had kept something important from him. Just like this wouldn’t the first time they’d sort of… lost contact for a prolonged period of time.

But this was different. The first time this had happened, they’d been kids. Kids made and broke connections all the time, and _Rin’s_ staying power in particular hadn’t exactly been the greatest.

But then they’d managed to reconnect in high school, and Rin had thought they’d come out of it with a much stronger bond than before. He hadn’t meant to fall back into his old habit of disappearing off the radar. It had just… _happened_. Was that why Sousuke hadn’t told him? Had he decided that _he_ wanted to be the one to distance himself for a change? Did he think that Rin didn’t _care_?

There was, Rin knew, an extremely simple way of getting the answers he was so desperately searching for. Sousuke was just a phone call, a letter, a text message away.

But… even if Rin _did_ somehow muster up the guts to contact him, he just wouldn’t know what to say.

 

Tuesday night, the fourth night of his confinement—well, ok, no, he wasn’t exactly _confined_. He was free to leave the apartment, of course, but there really wasn’t a whole heck of a lot he wanted to do out there that didn’t involve some form of exertion—found Rin where he almost always was these days: lying in bed and trying to think of what to do about Sousuke.

Which should have been enough to put him to sleep on its own, really. It wasn’t like he was coming up with anything new here. These were just the same thoughts being circulated over and over again. Yet somehow, with every journey through the great big recycling plant that had become Rin’s brain, those thoughts just kept making him feel worse. He was beginning to wonder if this was what the rest of his life was going to be like.

Rin sat himself up and looked out the window, just for a brief reprieve from staring at his ceiling. It was so late now that the moon was actually starting to go down. It wasn’t late Tuesday night anymore, but actually early Wednesday morning. Rin didn’t even feel tired.

His eyes traveled over his room for a while before finally landing on the hole in the wall. For lack of anything better to do, Rin got out of bed and walked over to it.

He pushed the butterfly blanket aside and was not at all surprised to see that Rei was seated at his desk, diligently working away at whatever was laid out in front of him.

Not really thinking about what he was doing, Rin stuck an arm through the hole and knocked on Rei’s side of the wall a few times. 

He'd done it pretty quietly, but Rei still jumped like he’d heard a gunshot. He whipped his head around and eventually spotted Rin peering sheepishly at him through the hole.

Rin gave him a little wave. “Can I come in?”

“Sure…?”

Rin held the blanket aside and gingerly climbed through. He stood there for a few seconds, feeling a little lost, but eventually shuffled over to Rei’s neatly made bed and sat down on the end of it.

Rei was watching him curiously, but neither of them said anything.

“…Geez. Your bed is really close to your desk,” Rin eventually blurted. And it was true. This was the first time he’d noticed, but Rei’s desk was literally a foot away from the end of his bed. He could reach out and snatch Rei’s glasses right off his head if he wanted to. “Is that like an expediency thing?” he added. “Does it reduce the amount of time between waking up and starting your homework?” Rin laughed, imagining Rei somersaulting out of bed and straight into his desk chair.

Rei smiled at him. “Actually it’s in case I accidentally pass out at my desk. There’s a fifty-fifty chance I’ll tip backwards and land on the bed.”

Rin’s laughter died and he regarded Rei with concern. “…Really?”

“What’s wrong? I thought we were joking.”

“ _I_ was joking, but I get the feeling you’re not.”

“Well, I am, so… don’t worry about it,” Rei said. Rin nodded and decided to drop it. He still wasn’t entirely sure he believed him, though. He’d seen Rei fall asleep in the middle of doing homework before.

“Well… Anyway.” He cleared his throat. Rei was looking at him expectantly, and Rin realized he hadn’t really stated his purpose here yet. Mostly because he didn’t really have one. “What are you up to at—” he glanced at Rei’s clock. “—3:47 in the morning?”

“Homework. What about you?”

“Couldn’t really sleep,” Rin said vaguely. “But, uh… Geez, your teachers really piled it on for break, huh?”

Rei shrugged. “I suppose. But some of it’s extra credit.”

“Anything I can help with?” Rin asked. 

“Not unless you know how to determine the thermodynamic parameters of a denatured nucleic acid,” Rei said with an apologetic smile.

“Oh… yeah, I think I must have been sick that day.” Rin rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling uncomfortably. “Well, I should let you get back to it. Sorry for intruding.”

He stood up, about to go back into the hole he’d crawled out of, but Rei suddenly cried, “Rin-san, wait!” and grabbed his wrist.

Rin looked at him, then down at his wrist, and then back at Rei again.

“You can stay, if you want,” Rei said, letting go of him and slowly withdrawing his hand. “I mean… if you’re not sleeping, then you might as well do it in here—or _not_ do it in here, I suppose I should say. I… I don’t mind.”

“Oh… Ok,” Rin said. He lowered himself back onto Rei’s bed. “…Thanks.”

Rei nodded and continued looking at him. He was clearly waiting for Rin to say or do something, but after a solid twenty seconds of staring at each other, he seemed to realize that wasn’t going to happen and slowly turned back to his homework.

Rin relaxed slightly and made himself a little more comfortable on Rei’s bed, scooting back onto his pillows and listening to the scratch of his pencil on paper.

He really didn’t know what he was doing here, but it was already a million times better than just staying in his own room and waiting for the sun to come up. And maybe it was just because the lighting was dim and Rin was starved for a little change in scenery, but Rei’s room had a sort of soothing quality to it. There were a lot of things to look at, at least. Books were neatly stacked on every available surface, and though the walls were relatively bare compared to Rin’s poster-covered ones, a few framed pictures—mostly of their friends—were hung up here and there, as well as a truly hideous abstract painting that Rei kept insisting was both beautiful and intellectually stimulating.

And then there was Rei himself, but he wasn’t doing anything particularly interesting at the moment. Just chipping away at his schoolwork, like always. Geez, what was he even doing up this late? He was supposed to be on vacation. Surely some of that could have waited until tomorrow—or later _today_ , or whatever.

Well, Rin supposed he couldn’t really judge. He was awake, too, wasn’t he? And at least Rei was being productive. All Rin was doing was feeling sorry for himself. Only now he was doing it someone else’s room.

Would Rei be sympathetic if he told him? Rin wondered. Or would he think Rin was just being stupid? Not that he’d blame him if he did. He was actually kind of surprised Rei hadn’t managed to suss it out by now. Rin had been grappling with this Sousuke thing for a while now. Rei had to know something was wrong. He always did. But then again, even if he did know, he could very well be choosing not to say anything about it. That would've been understandable, given Rin’s track record. He hadn’t exactly taken it well the last few times Rei had stuck his nose into his business.

But… he’d managed to open up to Rei on his own once or twice, and… it had been ok. The world hadn’t ended. So maybe he could do it again. Just to save Rei the trouble. And… maybe get a second opinion.

Rin took a deep breath. “Hey.”

“Yes?” Rei didn’t look up from his work, but that was ok. Made it easier, actually.

“This is probably going to sound like a weird question, but… if you ever had to get some sort of… fairly major invasive surgery, um, can you think of any reason why you wouldn’t tell… like, _Nagisa_ or someone about it?”

There was a pause, and then Rei suddenly put his pencil down and turned around. He looked… troubled.

“Rin-san,” he said seriously. “Please tell me the truth. Are you alright?”

Rin blinked in confusion. “Um, in what sense?”

“It’s just… you’ve asked me something like this before.”

“I have? When?”

Rei hesitated. “…A few weeks ago. At the party. When you were, um. Drunk?”

Rin gaped at him for second until utter humiliation set in and forced his head into his hands. “…Oh.”

God. He hated his drunk-self. _Hated_ him. For _a lot_ of reasons.

“I’m really not sure what this is about,” Rei said. “But if there’s something wrong with you, I wish you’d tell me. Are you sick? Or… is it something to do with your back, perhaps? Or—what are you doing?”

Rin had nearly curled himself into a ball now, wrapping his arms around his legs and hiding his face between his knees. “Nothing,” he said faintly. “I’m just really embarrassed. D-don’t look at me for a while, ok?”

“Rin-san,” Rei said in a small voice, and Rin raised his head just enough to look at him. “…Do you need an operation?”

Rin didn’t mean to laugh. He really didn’t, but… Rei just looked so _upset_. All of Rin’s previous embarrassment drained away as he hunched forward, his shoulders shaking.

“It’s—pfft—! Sorry! No, it’s—” Rei was glaring at him now, clearly under the impression that he was being jerked around, and Rin tried to pull himself together. It wasn’t difficult; all he had to do was think of Sousuke. “It’s not me,” he said, sobering. “I’m not the one having the operation. It’s, um… Sousuke. Or, well, I mean—he already _had_ the operation, but...” Rei didn’t say anything. He just crossed his arms and continued looking at him. “You, uh… You remember Sousuke, right?”

“Of course,” Rei said, raising his eyebrows. “Did… something happen?”

“Well, uh…”

Rin explained the situation as best as he could. It wasn’t the most coherent summary. He was sure he’d accidentally skipped some parts, and he probably hadn’t painted himself in the most flattering light, but Rin was pretty sure that if Rei’s opinion of him wasn't already subterranean after everything he’d done in the last month, then this probably wasn’t going to make much of a difference.

“So,” Rei said after Rin was finished. He’d been listening intently the entire time, nodding occasionally, but otherwise offering little commentary. “If I understand correctly… you’re upset because Yamazaki-san had this surgery and you weren’t the first to know?”

Rin shook his head. “It’s not that I wasn’t the _first_ to know. It’s that I didn’t know _at all._ ”

“Are you sure he didn’t just mention it in passing, and you forgot?”

 “You mean did he say something like ‘Hey, Rin, I’m getting my shoulder hacked into next week. How’s the weather in Tokyo these days?’ _Yeah_. I’m sure.”

Rei nodded thoughtfully.

“So?” Rin prompted. “I’m not crazy, am I? It’s _weird_ , right?”

“It is,” Rei agreed. “I’m quite surprised. I really thought he would have told you.”

“Yeah, well, apparently I’m… Wait.” Something occurred to Rin and he eyed Rei suspiciously. “…Did _you_ know about it?”

Rei had the decency to look a little contrite. “I… did, actually.”

“How?!” Rin cried, nearly springing up from the bed. “When’s the last time you even talked to Sousuke? Like two years ago?”

“We saw each other a few times last year. Yamazaki-san’s university isn’t far from Iwatobi. He would visit the swim club occasionally to check on our progress. I remember him mentioning it once, but… I didn’t want to pry.”

Rin stared at him, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth downturned. Not pouting—that would have been childish—but close.

“I’m really sorry,” Rei said. “It never occurred to me that you might not know.”

Rin released a sigh. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s not like it’s your fault.”

They were both silent for a while after that. Eventually Rei spoke up.

“Maybe he just didn’t want to worry you.”

“Or maybe he _blames_ me,” Rin muttered darkly. The more he’d thought about it the more likely it seemed. And even if Sousuke didn’t blame him, he just couldn’t shake the feeling that the whole thing was his fault.

“Why would he blame you?” Rei asked, sounding _annoyed,_ of all things. “You weren’t even there. And Yamazaki-san made the choice to continue swimming on his own.”

“Yeah, that’s the thing,” Rin said sadly. “See, I’m not so sure he did, though. I… at the end of high school, just before we parted ways, I… said some things to him that I probably shouldn’t have.”

“Oh, I see. What sort of things did you say?” Rei asked. He sounded a little exasperated and Rin knew what he was probably thinking.

“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t a _fight_. It was more like… a dumb pep talk of sorts.” Rin shook his head, a wave of retroactive embarrassment washing over him. “I forget what I said exactly, but it was something to the effect that… that he shouldn’t give up. That I was counting on him _not_ to give up. And I really meant it, too, but… I didn’t want him to hurt himself. I didn’t _think_ he’d hurt himself. I don’t understand why he didn’t just blow me off. He _should_ have.”

“You couldn’t have known what would happen,” Rei said kindly. “It’s not like you sentenced him to his fate. You were just trying to motivate a friend.”

“It was cruel,” Rin said. He could feel himself starting to get emotional and he gritted his teeth against it. “Putting all that on him… it was… I should have just let him move on.”

Rei shook his head. “It wasn’t cruel,” he said. “Thoughtless, perhaps. A little irresponsible… but not cruel.”

“I don’t really know what you mean.” Rin scrubbed a hand over his face and looked at Rei. “But… you think I shouldn’t have said anything, too, don’t you?”

“I think…” Rei crossed his arms and leaned back against his desk. “I think you don’t always realize the effect you have on people. You can be a little… oblivious sometimes.”

“Yeah, I’ve been told,” Rin said glumly. “But what does that have to do with Sousuke? I wasn’t trying to—It’s not like I wanted him to keep swimming for _my_ sake. I just—”

“I know. And that’s why I said you were being thoughtless. You may not be aware of this, Rin-san but… you inspire a lot of loyalty in your friends,” Rei said, gazing earnestly at him. “They don’t like disappointing you. Or _feeling_ like they’re disappointing you,” he added when Rin opened his mouth to insist that he _wasn’t_ disappointed in Sousuke. “And I think if you _were_ aware of it, you’d be a little more careful with your words and actions. Because they do hold a great deal of influence.”

Rin stayed silent, turning that over in his head few times. He’d never thought of it quite like that before, and wasn’t entirely sure he agreed. Rei had to be exaggerating. Though in this case…

“…So,” he said eventually. “It _is_ my fault, then. I… _influenced_ him, or whatever.”

“Definitely not,” Rei said firmly. Rin gave him an incredulous look. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but Yamazaki-san doesn’t strike me as the person to easily bend to the will of others. So I highly doubt you put any ideas in his head that weren’t already there. It’s more than likely his decision was made long before you said anything.”

“I see,” Rin said, nodding. The he smiled a little sourly at Rei. “So… what you’re trying to say is that I should give myself more credit, but also _less_ credit?”

“Exactly,” Rei said. He looked pleased that Rin had finally caught on. “I’m sure Yamazaki-san took your words as merely encouragement. Misguided though both of you were at the time.”

“Encouragement,” Rin repeated.

Rei nodded. “Highly potent encouragement, maybe, but still just encouragement in the grand scheme of things. In scientific terms you would be considered a catalyst. You may have sped up the reaction, but you are in no way the cause of it. Nor are you responsible for the end results… Do you understand?”

Rin nodded, hiding the smile that was beginning to spread over his face with the back of his hand. He flopped down on Rei’s bed as the tension in his body suddenly gave way to something light and slightly dizzying.

Rei leaned over slightly to peer at him. “And… do you feel better?” he asked uncertainly.

“Yeah,” Rin said, laughing a little in a disbelief. “I actually do.”

“So what are you going to do now? About Yamazaki-san, I mean.”

Some of the weight from before settled itself back in Rin’s chest, and he sat up.

 “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I wanna talk to him, but… I wouldn’t even know how to bring it up. Let alone what to say about it.”

“Well, you shouldn’t put it off any longer,” Rei said. “If you haven’t thought of what you want to say by now, then you probably never will. You might as well get it over with.”

“Yeah… maybe,” Rin said reluctantly.

Rei gave him a wry smile. “I’m actually a little surprised you’ve been sitting on it for this long. I’d have thought you’d want to rush into some big, melodramatic confrontation the second you found out.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Rin began indignantly. But then he realized that Rei wasn’t exactly wrong. Rin had been known to do things like that. “…Yeah, ok,” he conceded, scratching his head. “I’m not really sure what happened, actually. That _was_ kind of my MO until recently, but... I don’t know... I guess it just didn’t seem like a good idea. I don’t have all the facts, so…”

“Sorry,” Rei said suddenly. “That… wasn’t meant to be a criticism. It’s actually a good thing you’re being so cautious. I think it probably means you’ve matured.”

“Gee, thanks,” Rin said sarcastically, but he smiled so Rei would know he wasn’t annoyed. “Anyway, mature or not, it’s not really getting me anywhere, is it?”

“No,” Rei agreed. “I’m afraid you’re stuck. Because until you talk to Yamazaki-san, this is all just conjecture. He’s the only one who can give you actual answers.”

“Yeah… I’ll get around to it. I just… need some more time. To think, I mean.”

“You know, Rin-san, there is such a thing as _overthinking_.”

“You’re the _last_ person I need to hear that from,” Rin snorted. “But… don’t worry about it, ok? Like I said—I’ll get around to it.”

Rei looked like he wanted to protest further, but seemed to recognize that Rin was done talking about it. “Well… I hope it works out for you.”

Rin nodded and lay back down, suddenly in need of a breather.

He didn’t really know what he’d been expecting, but… that had gone much better than he would have ever let himself hope. It had been a long time since Rin had gone all out and actually vented to someone like that. No arguing, no latching onto quick solutions. Just plain talking.

Rin was fairly certain he hadn’t done something like that since he was a kid. He’d sort of lost that privilege once he’d moved to Australia. He hadn’t really had anyone to talk to there—the language barrier was part of it, and the fact that he hadn’t really managed to make any friends other than his host family’s dog, who— though an extremely good listener—wasn’t terribly helpful. And then he’d moved back to Japan, where he was suddenly surrounded by people who wanted nothing more than to talk to him and… well, that hadn’t really gone over well with him.

So, yeah. Rin was definitely out of practice when it came to this whole… talking thing. But that didn’t seem to matter. He had no idea if he’d done it right, but he did know that he hadn’t been lying when he’d said he felt better.

And more importantly, he felt tired. Completely drained of energy, but in the best way possible. Like his mind was finally ready to slow down enough to give him some peace.

Rin’s eyelids slid shut, but before he could drift off any further, Rei brought him back to earth.

“Rin-san,” he said loudly. “May I ask you something?”

Rin’s eyes flew open and he reluctantly sat up again. “Sure,” he said, and blinked a few times, trying to focus.

“This… problem with Yamazaki-san,” Rei began a little hesitantly. “Is that what’s been troubling you these last few weeks? I mean, I know you’ve had other things on your mind recently, but… I sort of get the feeling that this has outstripped everything else.”

Rei’s frank observation helped to clear some of the fuzz from Rin’s brain. “Um… I guess you could say that. Why?”

Rei shrugged. “I’m just a little surprised, that’s all. I wouldn’t have guessed that about you. That is to say… I wouldn’t have guessed something like this could affect you so much.”

“W-well, it’s not affecting me _that_ much,” Rin said, coloring slightly.

“Then why are you here talking to me about it at four in the morning?” Rei countered. And Rin had to give it to him.

He heaved a sigh. “Pathetic, right?”

“Not really. But... it's taking a lot out of you, isn’t it?”

“Well… yeah.” Rin shrugged. “But I’m used to it. Trust me—it’s a lot weirder for me _not_ to be in complete turmoil over one thing or another. Especially if an outside party’s involved.”

He wasn’t quite sure why he was volunteering this information, but he also found that he didn’t really care. Some sort of floodgate had opened, and Rin was too tired to do anything about it. He was in someone else’s room, on someone else’s bed in the early hours of the morning. The whole atmosphere was giving off a sleepover-vibe, and that never failed to loosen Rin’s tongue.

“Sounds inconvenient,” Rei said. He was looking at Rin the way he would look at a fascinating painting… Or a train wreck, maybe.

“Oh, it is,” Rin assured him. And since he was warming to the subject, he added, “And annoying and exhausting and actually kind of boring  most of the time. Lots of going around in circles, you know? I mean, I’ll probably spend the rest of my life trying to get away from that part of myself, but… at least I’ve accepted it. I’m a worrier. I worry about stuff.”

“Don’t sound so martyrish,” Rei chided. “Besides, if you’re trying to get away from it, then I wouldn’t really call that accepting it. But…” he added in a kinder tone. “I don’t think you need to do either of those things. It’s not as if it’s some curse that’s been placed on you and you alone. Everyone worries about things.”

“Yeah. But I’m better at it,” Rin said with a broad smile. Which he quickly replaced with a scowl as his self-awareness made a comeback. “By the way," he added. "Don’t go spreading any of this around, alright? It's been kind of a weird night for me, and I don’t want there to be any trace of it in the morning.”

“Technically it’s already morning,” Rei pointed out. Rin glared at him and he laughed. “Don’t worry, Rin-san. Whatever secrets you think you might have revealed are safe with me. And I agree—it _has_ been a weird night for you. You’re not normally this… chatty.”

“I hope you realize that’s exactly the sort of thing you _shouldn’t_ say to someone in my position,” Rin grumbled.

“I’m not complaining, of course,” Rei said cheerfully, missing the point _completely_. “I got to learn a lot about you this morning… I’m happy.”

The smile that accompanied this startlingly honest admission was enough to extinguish Rin’s annoyance.

“Whatever,” he muttered, ducking his head to hide the blush that had bloomed on his cheeks. Once he had it under control, he clicked his tongue and looked back up at Rei. “You know, I’m surprised you’re acting like any of this is news to you,” he said cannily. “Aren’t you the one who once told me that I'm completely transparent _?_ ”

“You _are_ completely transparent,” Rei said. “It’s very easy to tell when something’s bothering you. But…” He trailed off, looking a little shamefaced. “…I’m probably not as perceptive as I like to think I am. I’m good at identifying problems where they exist… but not much beyond that. It’s like you told me, isn’t it? People feelings aren’t data. So just because I can… _compute_ them… that doesn’t mean I understand them. It’s not really the same thing at all, is it?”

“That’s—” Rin broke off, not really sure what to say. He was suddenly remembering all those time’s he’d compared Rei to a machine in the past, and regretting each and every one of them. “Well, I mean, you’re—”

“So that’s why you’ll have to forgive me, Rin-san,” Rei said with a sad smile. “I’m probably being a little selfish right now, but… I’m glad you decided to tell me about your problem. I’m sorry you’re going through something like that, but I liked listening to you talk about it. It feels like I’ve gotten to know you better, somehow. You’re less of a mystery now.”

“I—” Rin opened and closed his mouth. He had no idea what do with that. All he knew was that he really wanted Rei to stop looking at him like that because it was making his chest hurt. “…I’m not a mystery,” he finally managed to say. “Really, I’m not. There’s not a whole lot to me, actually, and you’ve pretty much already… Anyway.” He rubbed the back of his neck and searched around for a change of subject. _“…Anyway,_ if you’re looking for a mystery to solve, then… _Haru’s_ probably a better candidate. He's way more interesting. I don’t think anyone will ever be able to understand the way his mind works.”

“Probably not,” Rei said. “And to tell you the truth, I’ve long since given up on trying to figure Haruka-senpai out. Scrutiny of any sort tends to wear on him after a while, and he begins to resent it.”

“True enough,” Rin sighed. Boy, did he ever know what that was like.

Rei nodded thoughtfully to himself. “I’ve come to realize that Haruka-senpai dislikes having to put effort into understanding and being understood. I don’t think he really cares about that sort of thing.”

“And... you think I _do_ care?” Rin asked before he could stop himself. He actually wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer to that.

Rei was silent for a while. “Well…” he said carefully. “I think you probably wouldn’t be losing this much sleep if you didn’t.”

Well… Rin couldn’t really argue with that.

“Um. Then…” He shifted around on the bed a little. “…Do you? Understand me, I mean?”

“You’re probably a better judge of that than I am, Rin-san,” Rei said.

He was looking at him in a way that Rin almost would have called… heated. And maybe that was the wrong word, but he found himself unable to think of another. He couldn’t recall ever seeing that expression on Rei’s face before. Whatever it was, it was far too heady for the time and place. It made Rin’s face burn and his stomach flip. But... not in an unpleasant way.

He was squirming a bit, he realized, and he crossed his arms over his chest.

“I...I think you do,” he said, once he’d found his voice, and he met Rei’s gaze steadily, even though he kind of wanted to bury his face in a pillow. “I think you do understand me. A little too well, sometimes. And… it kind of pisses me off, but I actually really like that about you—Er, that is—what I mean is... I like… knowing where I stand with you. It’s… kind of a nice change. I usually have to work harder for that with most people. But… you’re different. You pick up on stuff like—” he snapped his fingers, but no sound came out. “— _that_. Even… even the stuff I don’t want anyone picking up…” Rin faltered, distantly aware that he wasn’t making sense anymore.

The deadly combination of mortification and exhaustion that he had been trying to keep at bay for the last several minutes suddenly overtook him, and he collapsed back down on the bed again, no longer able to keep his eyes open.

“Well… anyway,” he said faintly as the last of his energy slipped away from him. “I’m gonna go back to my room now. Gotta… sleep. You know…”

“Very well,” he heard Rei say. He sounded amused for some reason. Amused and...very far away. “Would you like some help getting there?”

“Nah, ‘m good,” Rin yawned. He punched one of Rei’s pillows a bit and laid his head down. “You should go to sleep, too,” he added, pulling Rei’s blanket over himself and rolling over onto his stomach “…What the hell’re you even doing up this late, anyway?”

“Just a little homework,” Rei said, his voice growing softer with ever word. “I’ll go to sleep when I’m done.”

“See that you do,” Rin mumbled into his pillow. “…G’night.”

“Good night,” Rei said.

“…..What?” Rin said.

Rei didn’t answer. Although, Rin could have sworn he’d heard him laughing.

 

Several hours later, sometime in the middle of the afternoon, Rin woke up in a bed that definitely was not his own.

It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened to him—wasn’t even the first time this month.

But this time, Rin was a lot more ok with it. Embarrassed beyond all belief, of course—especially when he peeked out into the living room and saw Rei passed out on the couch—and definitely dreading having to relive the memories of last night that he knew were going to hit him like a freight train any minute now… But ok with it.

Because… Rin had to admit, as he leaned against Rei’s doorframe and watched him flip himself over on the couch…

…That had honestly been the best night’s sleep he’d gotten in a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao. Rei's smolder was so effective that Rin's body went into forced shut down. ahahahahahahahahahahahaha
> 
> Anyhoo, idk what to say about this chapter. It was absolute hell to write, but I'm weirdly fond of it. 
> 
> And..let's see...oh yeah, apparently Iwashima is just one giant allegory meant to symbolize the differing views Rin and Haru have on the nature of competition. WHO KNEW??? Because I certainly didn't when i started this dumb thing. But...yea. I figured it was time for those boys to learn that not everyone is in it for the fun and friendship. I like bursting bubbles. But don't worry, I'm gonna start phasing Iwashima out. He's pretty much played his part. Plus, the whole things starting to get a little sordid. I kind of went mad with power, as far as the ol' OC's concerned. Sorry. 
> 
> Anyway, next time-- (PRESUMABLY) Haru's bday, the freaking visitor, France, another party, and Rin finaLY STARTS TO REALIZE SOME STUFF!!!!?????
> 
> Thanks for reading/commenting/kudoing!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin puts out one of his fires and Rei gets a night off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aliiiiiiiiiiive. Omg I feel so horrible, I don't even wanna think about how long it's been. School just hit super hard and I got sick like eight times. I'm gonna take some vitamin C supplements and try to do better. 
> 
> This chapter's kinda weird because it's actually cut in half. The original chapter 9 would have been about 40k words, and that's just unreasonable, so I'm splitting it up. Plus I wanted to get something out as soon as possible. Luckily that means chapter 10 is not too far behind, but obviously i can't be trusted, so don't quote me on that. 
> 
> Thanks once again to  
> [Makaria](http://makariaartsabout.tumblr.com) for editing.
> 
> Enjoyyyy

“He’s cheating on his wife…. And she was kind of starting a thing with that other guy from her glass-blowing class, so I guess technically she’s cheating too.”

Rei didn’t respond, and it took some nudging and sleeve-tugging from Rin to get him to glance up from his book and look at the couple having a moment on the TV.

It was Friday afternoon and the two of them were planted on the couch in much the same position they had been in for the last two days, watching reruns of an old TV show. Rin had stumbled upon it totally by accident while flipping through channels Wednesday evening. It was a trashy drama that he and Gou used to watch when their mom wasn’t home, and Rin—partly out of nostalgia and partly out of a lack of anything better to do with his time—had decided to marathon the entire series. He’d somehow managed to drag Rei down with him, and they’d been camped out in the living room ever since.

Well, _Rin_ was camped out. Rei’s presence on the couch was a little less permanent, since—in his own words— _he_ , unlike Rin, still had a life to attend to and couldn’t afford to sit in front of the TV for hours on end waiting for his brain cells to die.

It had all been very scathing at the time, but Rin wasn’t insulted in the least. And that was because even though Rei _said_ that, he was still making a considerable effort to keep Rin company whenever he wasn’t out attending to this so-called life of his.

“I thought those two were together,” Rei said dully. “Weren’t they engaged in the previous episode?”

Rin shook his head. “Well, no—Well, actually, _yeah_. This stupid station is playing the episodes out of order. That last one was from the fifth season and this one’s from the third. They’re both in different relationships right now. They don’t really get together until the fourth season. See, what happens is—”

“I don’t really care,” Rei interrupted, his focus already returned to his book. “And I don’t think you do, either, judging by the fact that you don’t seem to even know what their names are.”

“You know, you’re not a very good viewing partner. Don’t come crying to me if you can’t keep up,” Rin huffed, shooting him a disappointed look before facing forward again. Rei rolled his eyes, but Rin knew it was going to get to him eventually.

Sure enough, a few moments later, Rei sighed and put his book down. “…Fine,” he said begrudgingly. “You can tell me what happens.”

“If you _insist_.” Rin smiled smugly. “So at the end of this season she ends up going to college in the United States and starts a thing with this guy in the Navy, but he turns out to be one of those girl-in-every-port types so she breaks up with him, and the other guy goes to visit her and—well, wait. _Before_ that, his wife gets pregnant, so he’s all ready to forget this girl, but then he finds out it isn’t his, so that means he’s free to — oh.” Rin broke off, his attention diverted back to TV, where the couple’s tender embrace was quickly progressing to something a little more visceral. A lot of noises were being made and clothes were coming off.

“…Wow, that was fast,” Rin commented, raising his eyebrows at Rei, who was taking in the action onscreen with a look of mild horror. Rin laughed and picked a magazine up from the coffee table and used it to cover Rei’s eyes. “Don’t look, ok?  I don’t want you to be scarred.”

Rei blushed and batted the magazine away from his face. “You’re the one who insists on subjecting me to this sort of content. Don’t act like—” A loud moan came from the TV and Rin hastily turned the volume down. “—Don’t act like you’re suddenly concerned for my psyche,” Rei said, glaring at Rin. “…By the way, didn’t you say you were _ten_ the last time you watched this show?”

“Yeah… I’m kind of starting to remember why I wasn’t actually _allowed_ to watch it,” Rin snickered. Rei rolled his eyes and gently pushed him out of his personal space.

“This is still basic cable, isn’t it? Shouldn’t there have been a tasteful fade-to-black by now?” He glanced down at his watch, and when he saw what time it was, he suddenly straightened up and got to his feet. “I’m leaving,” he announced, looking somewhat relieved.

“Hah, I knew you couldn’t handle it,” Rin said, although he knew that wasn’t it. He watched Rei gather things and sighed quietly to himself. “…Going to the library?”

It wasn’t like Rin actually had to ask, but Rei nodded anyway. “I don’t think I’ll be too long, though,” he said, anticipating Rin’s next question.

Rin nodded and sighed again. A little more audibly this time. Rei paused in the process of filling his backpack and gave him a questioning look.

“Nothing,” Rin said quickly, his cheeks coloring a bit. He crossed his arms and scowled at Rei. “I just can’t believe you’re ditching me to study again, that’s all.”

“Is it really that surprising? I’ve done the same thing every other day, haven’t I?”

“Exactly! That’s pretty selfish of you, don’t you think?”

“Is it?” Rei asked without much interest, going back to packing his bag. “Pass me that book, would you?”

“It is!” Rin insisted, handing him the physics textbook that was on the table. “I mean… think about it! You’re always _there_ and I’m always _here_ , and… well… would it kill you to just stay put for once?”

“I’m afraid I don’t quite follow,” said Rei. He finished zipping up his backpack and cocked his head to the side, regarding Rin with some concern. “Is something wrong? Have I not been paying enough attention to you or—?”

“ _God_ , no. Shut up. It’s not that.” Rin rolled his eyes, his slowly receding blush making a speedy comeback. “I’m just saying… it’s really boring for me when you’re not here,” he finished in a mumble. To his dismay, Rei just laughed. 

“You know, Rin-san,” he said as he shouldered his backpack in a way that made it clear he would not be sticking around. “If you’re bored, you could always try going outside.”

Rin grimaced. “There really isn’t anything for me to do out there.”

“Just go for a walk or something,” Rei said with just the _barest_ hint of a plea in his voice. “You’ve barely left the apartment since break started.”

“Well, I just…” Rin hesitated, not entirely willing to tell Rei the real reason he hadn’t ventured outdoors recently, which was that no matter what he did, he would inevitably end up at the pool, where the only thing he’d be able to do was _watch_. “…I don’t wanna risk doing anything before my back is completely healed.”

“I hardly think a walk will do you much damage,” Rei said. And Rin couldn’t help noticing he looked a little disappointed. “But… I understand. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

He gave Rin a sort of sad-looking smile and started for the door. Rin jumped up after him, feeling strangely guilty.

“Um, wait,” he said. Rei turned to look at him and Rin rubbed the back of neck. “I haven’t been to the library in a while. Give me a second to change and I’ll go with you.”

“Uh… no!” Rei cried, _much_ to Rin’s surprise. Rin blinked at him and he added quickly, “Er, I mean… that’s not a good idea. You’ll just get bored.”

“I told you, I’m already bored. What are you—”

“Just trust me! You really don’t want to come. I have a lot of work to do, so who knows how long I’ll be there!”

“I thought you just said you weren’t going to take that long.” Rin crossed his arms and eyed him incredulously. “What’s the big deal? It’s not like I was planning on sitting there and watching you st—”

“Well, anyway!” Rei cut him off, and somehow he’d made it halfway out the door without Rin noticing, like he’d dematerialized or something. “I’ll get you something for dinner, ok! Enjoy the rest of your show! Ihavetogonowbye!”

And before Rin could say anything, Rei shot into the hallway and sprinted toward the stairs, letting the door slam shut behind him.

 _What the hell was that?_ Rin wondered as he settled back on the couch in a huff.

Wasn’t Rei the one who wanted him to get out of the apartment in the first place? Rin wasn’t going to _bother_ him. He probably would have just gotten a book and read until Rei was ready to go home. What was so damn objectionable about— _Oh_.

…Right. It probably wasn’t that Rei didn’t want company so much as that he didn’t want _Rin’s_ company.

It occurred to him suddenly that it was more than likely that the reason Rei was so hell-bent on doing most of his work at the library was because Rin wasn’t there. No wonder he was so against the idea of Rin tagging along. His trips to the library were pretty much Rei’s only opportunity to get some time away from him.

…God, that was embarrassing.

Rin certainly couldn’t blame him, though. He had kind of made it impossible to avoid him, what with the whole cloistering-himself-inside-their-severely-undersized-apartment-for-the-entire-break thing. It was completely pathetic, Rin knew, but he was still a little down about…well, pretty much _everything_. So until he got his life sorted out (or until school started back up in a few days—whichever came first), Rin was going to continue doing his very best impression of a hermit.

Well, a hermit with a _roommate_. An exceedingly patient and understanding roommate who was being way too nice to him about the whole thing.

It was weird. Rin didn’t really know what he had been expecting, but ever since that early Wednesday morning—when he’d crawled into Rei’s bed like a little kid and, like… spilled his guts or bared his soul _,_ or whatever you wanted to call it— not a single word had been said on the subject. Not on Rei’s end, at least. Rin had tried to stutter out an apology once Rei had woken up that afternoon, but Rei had just brushed him off with a good natured, “If you’re going to fall asleep, please at least tryto make it back to your own bed.” 

And that was all. It was like the entire thing never happened; Rei resumed his regularly scheduled studying and Rin went back to being a useless shut-in.

Of course, there was no way Rei approved of Rin’s behavior (because when did he ever?) but for once he seemed to realize that the best thing for him to do was to step back and let Rin work things out on his own.  Though Rin wasn’t sure whether Rei was doing it out of respect or because he’d finally gotten tired of having to pull him out of his various slumps.

For the sake of his pride, Rin was really hoping it was the former. Not that it actually mattered either way. Rin was perfectly capable of pulling himself out of his own slumps. True, his track record wasn’t spectacular, but… he _had_ managed to be his own hero at least once or twice in his life. And that was exactly what he intended to do this time.

If his talk with Rei had accomplished anything, it was to convince Rin that he needed to nip this Sousuke thing in the bud once and for all. Rei was right; if he hadn’t figured out what he needed to say by now, then he probably never would. So he might as well go ahead and call Sousuke and let it play out however it was going to play out.

Now that he had the resolve, he just needed to pluck up the courage… Which he _totally_ intended to do before school started again. Rin was determined to come out of this break with at least one success story under his belt, be it a fully healed back or a fully healed friendship. Preferably both.

And Rin was pretty damn confident things would work out. He still had three whole days left, after all. Plenty of time.

Or so he thought.

 

Saturday came as a rather rude awakening for Rin.

He’d stayed up way too late Friday night watching his show—always a regrettable choice—and it wasn’t until midafternoon that he finally managed to roll out of bed. Right off the bat, he wasn’t in a very good mood. This was due mostly to the fact that one of his favorite characters had just been killed off—which he’d completely forgotten about from the first time he’d watched the damn thing. He must have blocked it out or something— _and_ it had been the last episode to air that night, so he’d had to go sleep with it weighing on his mind, _in addition_ to his usual Sousuke-and-swimming-related shit.

But regardless—always a glutton for punishment, Rin had been planning on picking up right where he’d left off. Unfortunately for him, however, Rei ended up throwing a pretty sizable wrench in those plans.

When Rin walked into the kitchen, his attention was immediately drawn to the fridge, onto which Rei had taped a note telling him he had some things he needed to do today and would meet him at the restaurant at six.

It took Rin a full minute and a half of running the word “restaurant” through his brain before it finally spat out the necessary information. And once he’d filled in the blanks, he wanted to smack himself.

He’d completely forgotten that today was Haru’s birthday. Or, well, not _forgotten_ , per se; he was sure he’d written it down _somewhere_. It was more like… it had slipped his mind…

 _…Which is literally the same thing as forgetting_ , Rin thought, scolding himself. There was no point in denying it. He’d had a lot on his mind lately, it was true, but that wasn’t any excuse.

Of course, Rin wasn’t exactly thrilled at the prospect of going out—he hadn’t been planning on reentering society before school started, after all—but he knew he was going to have to suck it up and go to dinner. It was Haru’s twentieth birthday and Rin really couldn’t miss that. Besides… it would probably do him some good to see his friends.

But first he had to buy Haru a birthday present. That was something Rin actually had put some thought into, back before his life was a complete shambles. He knew he had to make up for last year’s gift—a rather hastily made coupon good for one full day of Rin’s time and labor. He’d figured Haru would just use it to make him stay at the pool with him all day, but that turned out to be a major miscalculation. Haru had hung onto it for eight months, only to cash it in during spring break and force Rin to clean his entire house. It had been a very dark period in their friendship, and Rin wasn’t about to let that happen again.

Fortunately, he’d managed his money a little better this year and could actually afford to buy something. He’d been planning on getting Haru a new pair of fins he’d kind of had his eye on; Haru would doubtlessly like them and Rin could borrow them, so it was a win-win.

Rin was halfway to the sporting goods store before he remembered that he’d gotten an email from Makoto a week or so ago containing a list of items Haru had mentioned he might want. Rin hadn’t really looked at it, since he was already set on the fins, but now he found himself a little curious. He couldn’t remember Haru ever making a birthday list—or letting _Makoto_ make him one, at least—before now. Surely something like fins would be at the top of the list.

To Rin’s surprise, however, this was not at all the case. In fact, he realized as he scanned the email he’d pulled up on his phone, it wasn’t just fins that were nowhere to be found; Haru’s list was devoid of anything swimming related. Instead it was comprised mainly of kitchenware and art supplies.

Rin stopped walking and stared at it incredulously for a few seconds before making a decision. After a small moment of hesitance, he turned around and headed in the opposite direction, toward one of the department stores he’d passed a few blocks back.

He returned home soon after with Haru’s brand new cutting board neatly wrapped and stuffed in a gift bag. It certainly wasn’t what _Rin_ would have asked for, but who was he to deny Haru his household essentials?

He still had a few hours before he had to leave for the restaurant, so he decided to take a bath with a few heaping measures of Epsom salt. Sort of as a precautionary measure. He wouldn’t want to ruin his or anyone else’s good time on the off chance that his back decided to start acting up. Not that he really expected it to be an issue. Rin was almost positive his back was fine. The pain had been lessening gradually over the last several days, and today he didn’t feel any at all. Still, though. He was reluctant to declare himself good as new before the full ten days were up. So until then, he was going to keep doing everything in his power to aid the healing process.

He’d taken a lot of baths during the last week—so many that Rei had actually threatened to cut him off since the salt was kind of starting to stain the sides of the tub—and Rin liked to think that they were working. At the very least, they helped him relax, and once Rin had explained that to him, Rei had actually backed off about it.

As it happened, Rin wasn’t even halfway-relaxed when he heard the first knock on the door, having only been soaking for about five minutes. Which was why he just chose to ignore it.

However, the second knock that came less than a minute later was a little more insistent. Rin opened his eyes and sat up a bit, mildly curious, but completely unwilling to leave the sanctuary of his bath to answer the door.  

“Rei, if that’s you, the door’s unlocked!” he called out, though he doubted Rei or whoever it was could actually hear him. Sure enough, the knocking continued after another thirty seconds or so—much to Rin’s annoyance. Honestly, couldn’t this idiot tell they were being ignored?

Rin just waited it out and eventually the knocking ceased, so he assumed the person had finally taken the hint and left.

When he finished up an hour later, his mood had improved enough that he was actually kind of looking forward to the rest of the evening. He got dressed and headed out.

He was cutting it kind of close, he realized guiltily as he looked at his watch on his way up the stairs. It was a little past five o’clock now and they were meeting at the restaurant at six, so Rin would have to hustle if he wanted to make the next train downtown. He raced across the lobby and burst through the front door, accidentally jostling someone who was sitting on the porch steps.

“Sorry,” he said, barely sparing the guy a glance in his haste.

“No prob.”

Rin hurried up the street toward the station. It didn’t hit him until he was nearly a block away.

Rin stopped in his tracks, completely frozen in place for half a second. Then he abruptly did an about-face and began sprinting back to his building.

Once the porch was in his sights, he stumbled a bit trying to slow down, and collapsed against the bannister, lungs heaving and heart just about ready to give out, though from shock or exertion, he wasn’t sure.

“That,” said the person on the porch, “was barely a hundred meters. Why the hell are you so out of breath?”

Rin only managed to choke out one word. “S-SOUSUKE?!”

And even as he said it, Rin didn’t believe it. There was no way. There couldn’t be. Because that would defy _every law of probability!_

That was what Rin’s brain was screaming at him, but his eyes were telling him that yes, this was, in fact, Sousuke Yamazaki sitting on his porch and staring at him like he was a lunatic. And maybe he _was_. Maybe all the Epsom salt had finally gone to his head and he was hallucinating. He wasn’t sure it actually _worked_ like that, but it seemed like the most likely explanation regardless!

His hallucination stood up, casting his shadow over the stairs, and offered Rin the water bottle he’d been dangling between his knees. Rin, who was practically wheezing at this point, snatched it from him and started chugging.

“W-what are you _doing_ here?!” he gasped once it was empty.

“I came for a visit,” Sousuke said with a shrug. Rin opened his mouth to say something loud and unintelligible, but Sousuke continued, “Anyway, did you really not recognize me? I mean, I know I got a haircut, like, eight weeks ago, but I didn’t think it would throw you off that much.”

Rin shook his head hard, and when he looked back up, Sousuke was still there, standing imposingly before him. And by the way his mouth was twitching, Rin was inclined to believe that he was the genuine article. But only because he was pretty sure a figment of his imagination wouldn't be _laughing_ at him.

“…A visit. You came for a _visit_ ,” he said, still panting slightly. “What does that _mean_?”

Sousuke seemed confused by his question. “Well…” he said, his eyebrows drawing together. “I guess it mean that… I’m here to hang out with you... And maybe take you to the hospital. Seriously, why are you breathing so hard?”

Rin took one last shuddering breath and straightened up. Sousuke watched him through slightly narrowed eyes.

“You… are very surprised to see me,” he said slowly. And just like that, his expression cleared, like he’d had some sort of epiphany.

“Well… yeah! I mean… Obviously!” Rin spluttered. “Why—”

“No reason in particular,” Sousuke said, waving a hand dismissively. “I was getting bored over break and my dad had some frequent flyer miles he wasn’t using, so…” He shrugged, as if showing up on Rin’s doorstep was the logical product of those two factors.

“…Been a while,” he added with a slightly sheepish smile. And he sounded so hopeful that Rin knew he was going to have to put his shock aside for now and accept the situation for what it was. He exhaled slowly, willing himself to relax, and nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, it… it has been.”

They stood there for a few moments, Rin still on the sidewalk and Sousuke still on the steps. The difference in elevation made it kind of awkward, so Rin eventually cleared his throat.

“Um… So do you wanna come in?”

Sousuke’s shoulders sagged a bit in what looked like relief. “ _God_ , yes. I haven’t been to the bathroom in five hours.”

Rin laughed in spite of himself, and some of the tension left his body. “But the plane ride’s only two hours, isn’t it?”

“Well, yeah. But it took me a while to find your building. It’s kind of remote, isn’t it?”

“It’s a block away from the station.”

“Yeah… I’m not so sure about that,” Sousuke said with a grimace as he shouldered his overnight bag. Rin snorted.

“Come on,” he said, ushering Sousuke through the door.

As Rin led the way down to his apartment, Sousuke explained that he’d actually gotten here around four, but no one had answered the door, so he’d decided to wait on the porch for Rin or Rei to show up.

“How did you even know my address?” Rin asked, glancing back at Sousuke as he unlocked the door.

“Oh, it was—” Sousuke began, but he then he hesitated. “…Uh, Gou. I got it from Gou.”

“Oh,” said Rin. And it wasn’t like he was mad or anything, but he kind of wished Gou would have thought to give him a heads-up.

“I didn’t tell her I was going to visit you,” Sousuke added, as though reading Rin’s mind. “So don’t give her a hard time about it, ok?”

“I wasn’t gonna!” Rin said defensively.

They stepped inside and Sousuke’s eyes immediately swept over the living room. He almost looked like he was searching for something, and that made Rin nervous for some reason.

“Rei’s not here,” he said, even though Sousuke hadn’t asked. Then he pointed to the bathroom. “You can go ahead. I’ll take your stuff.”

“Thanks.” Sousuke shrugged off his bag and handed it over. Once he was in the bathroom, Rin tossed it onto his bed and went back into the living room to wait for him.

And now that he had a moment to himself, he was suddenly struck by the severity of what was happening right now. Just how the hell had he managed to get himself into this situation? Everything had been completely normal less than ten minutes ago! So what went _wrong_?

There was no way this was a coincidence, Rin decided. It wasn’t even remotely possible. Sousuke did not just drop by to _visit_ people. At least not people who lived more than half a kilometer away from him. Because that required planning and preparation, and Sousuke couldn’t stand doing either of those things. He was the laziest person alive—and yes, Rin was aware of the irony of that statement coming from _him_ , considering how he’d spent his break—but the fact remained. Sousuke was not the type of person who did things like buy plane tickets and show up unannounced unless there was an important reason for it.

So what _was_ his reason?

But before Rin could even begin to explore the myriad of possibilities—ranging from mundane to horrifying —that could have led Sousuke here, Sousuke himself emerged from the bathroom.

The two of them just stood there in the middle of the living room for a brief, uncomfortable moment.

“…I like what you’ve done with the place,” Sousuke said at last, squinting slightly as a few stray beams of setting sunlight filtered in through the windows and hit his eyes. “It’s definitely not as bad as you said it was.”

That was because he and Rei had spent almost four months fixing it up, Rin wanted to say. But he didn’t. Mostly because he was still kind of unnerved, but also because he felta little silly about being so proud of the place. It was infinitely better than it had been before, but looking at it from an outsiders perspective, it probably didn’t appear as though he and Rei had done much at all.

He didn’t know why he was getting so hung up on something so small, though, so he shook his head and discreetly glanced down at his watch. Sousuke caught the movement.

“Oh, you were heading out somewhere, weren’t you?”

Rin nodded. “It’s Haru’s birthday,” he explained, holding up the gift bag he’d been carrying this whole time. “So we’re all doing a dinner thing… But I can skip. It’s not a big—”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Sousuke said, already heading for the couch. “I can wait for you here. You still get like a million channels, right?” He grabbed the remote from the coffee table.

“Oh no!” Rin blurted. Sousuke gave him a blank look, so he shook his head and continued, “I mean, _yes_ , I still get a lot of channels, but _no_ , you don’t have to wait for me. Why don’t you just come?”

Sousuke raised an eyebrow. “Would Haru mind?”

“Doubt it.” Rin shrugged. “And even if he does, it’s not like he’s gonna pitch a fit about it. And, um, besides… Kisumi’ll be there. And Makoto. And Rei.”

“Ok, then,” Sousuke said gamely, abandoning the remote and standing up. He headed out the door and, after a moment of hesitation, Rin followed.

It was a fifteen-minute train ride downtown, and Rin and Sousuke were silent for most of it. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. At least Rin knew that this time Sousuke was a willing participant in the silence. Once they’d boarded and taken their seats, he’d crossed his arms over his chest and shut his eyes. Rin knew Sousuke was even worse than he was when it came to traveling, so he was probably still a bit worn out. It usually took him a while to get his energy back.

And it was ridiculous, but Rin almost couldn’t help feeling a little let down by how _normal_ he was acting. Their reunion had been extremely anticlimactic thus far. He was starting to think that maybe Sousuke really _didn’t_ have any ulterior motives in coming here. Maybe he did just feel like hanging out. It had certainly been long enough, and Rin would have liked to think that Sousuke had missed him at least a little.

Still, the timing was a little… suspicious. Did Sousuke know that Rin had found out about his surgery? He wasn’t quite sure how Sousuke would have obtained this information, but it was possible… Intuition, maybe? But then again, when Sousuke had an issue to resolve, he wasn’t one to beat around the bush about it. If something were going to happen, then surely it would have already.

Well, either way… sitting here on the train with him right now was an almost _surreal_ experience, Rin thought as he glanced sidelong at Sousuke. He really hadn’t changed a bit. Not physically, at least. He looked the same as he had the last time Rin saw him—very briefly—during winter break last year. And now that Rin thought about it… that was probably right before he had his surgery…

Rin sighed quietly to himself. God… He was definitely not looking forward to the rest of the night.

When the train pulled into their stop, Rin nudged Sousuke awake and they left the station. “It’s a bit of a walk,” he said apologetically after pulling up directions to the restaurant on his phone.

Sousuke nodded and yawned, still looking a little bleary. They headed up the street and walked in that sort-of-awkward-sort-of-not silence for a while. It wasn’t until they were almost at their destination that Sousuke suddenly spoke up.

“Wait,” he said, stopping in his tracks and startling Rin. “…You said it was his birthday?”

“Yeah.”

Sousuke processed that for a moment and abruptly turned on his heal and started walking in the direction they just came from. “I gotta go do something,” he said over his shoulder. “Meet you there, ok?”

“Sure…”

Rin watched him disappear around a corner, wondering bemusedly if Sousuke would actually be able to find his way back in time.

He continued on to the restaurant by himself, and soon he could see Kisumi and Makoto standing outside the entrance, in front of a large aquarium built into the wall. Rin took a deep breath, wondering how he was going to break the news to them.

Makoto smiled at him as he approached. “Hi, Rin.”

“Hey,” Rin said bleakly. And he must have been making a terrible face because Makoto actually recoiled a bit.

Kisumi thumped Rin on the back. “Well, if it isn’t everybody’s favorite recluse! How’s the fresh air treating you?”

“Are you feeling better, Rin?” Makoto asked. “Haru mentioned you’ve been sick.”

Rin shrugged as Kisumi took a few hasty steps away from him. “I’ll live.”

Makoto frowned at that, and he looked like he wanted to question him further, but Kisumi cut in before he could.

“You’ll feel much better after you eat something! The food here is amazing! Although, since I _work_ here, I guess I’m kind of obligated to say that whether the food’s actually good or not. But trust me, it is.”

“Oh, yeah,” said Rin dully. “This is your cousin’s place, right?”

“Yup.” Kisumi nodded proudly. “I managed to snag us some reservations as my present to Haru.”

“ _That’s_ your present?”

“Don’t use that tone. Do you know how long the waiting list for this place is? It’s almost impossible to get reservations unless you book, like, a _year_ in advance. I had to pull some major strings.”

“This really is nice of you,” Makoto said. “I don’t think I've ever seen Haru so excited about his birthday before. All he talks about lately is eating that, um… What was it?”

“King mackerel?” Kisumi guessed. “It’s imported. Super rare,” he added to Rin, who was rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s the one! He’s really looking forward to it,” Makoto said eagerly, working overtime as usual to express all the gratitude that Haru was likely to withhold.

Kisumi nodded graciously. “You know, I actually saw him here a few days ago while I was working.”

“Oh yeah?” Makoto said, looking hopeful.

“Yup. I got really excited ‘cause I thought he came to see me, but it turned out he was visiting the mackerel.” He gestured to the aquarium, not looking the least bit concerned that a fish apparently ranked higher than him in Haru’s esteem. “It was sort of intense, you know? He looked at it the way you would look at something you love but also plan to have brutally murdered and served over a bed of rice.”

Makoto’s smile faded a bit and he cast the aquarium a sort of horrified glance. “I see,” he said a little faintly. “…Um, could we maybe go to our table now?”

“But we’ve gotta wait for the birthday boy!” said Kisumi. Then he paused and looked around. “…And the glasses boy. Rei didn’t come with you?”

Rin shook his head, and a _thought_ suddenly occurred to him. He took Kisumi by the arm and dragged him a short distance away from Makoto, who was now absorbed in the task of not making eye contact with any of the fish in the tank.

“Hey,” he said, his voice slightly lowered. “I need you to level with me on something.”

“Ok…” said Kisumi, looking mildly intrigued.

“Did you invite Sousuke here?”

“…Uh, no. Sousuke hates seafood. You know that.” Kisumi raised an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”

“Because he’s _here_ ,” Rin hissed.

“Who’s here?”

“ _Sousuke_.”

“Wha—”

Just then, a woman poked her head out the door and waved a hand in their direction. “Kisumi, your table’s ready!”

“Thanks!” Kisumi called. Then he turned back to Rin with an annoyingly patient smile, like he was talking to a child. “Sorry. Now, _where’s_ Sousuke?”

“He’s—”

“Um… Hey, guys?” Makoto interrupted. “Is that…?”

Rin tensed up as Kisumi’s gaze traveled over his shoulder. He didn’t need to turn around to know who was coming up behind him.

“Sousuke!” Kisumi exclaimed. He took off running to meet him, and for a second, Rin was afraid he was going to pounce on top of him. To his relief, Kisumi managed to stop just short of actually colliding with Sousuke and skidded to a halt in front of him.

“What are you doing here!?” he practically shouted, grabbing Sousuke by both arms.

“You’re too loud, idiot,” Sousuke said, but he looked happy enough as he let Kisumi pull him over to Rin and Makoto.

Makoto smiled at Rin, as though this was all just a pleasant coincidence they’d happened to get caught up in, and went to greet Sousuke. Rin trailed sheepishly behind him.

“Rin!” Kisumi cried accusingly. “Why didn’t you tell me you were having Sousuke over?”

Rin winced and started to babble out some sort of denial, but Sousuke saved him the trouble.

“Nah, I just kinda showed up,” he said with a shrug, and that was when Rin noticed that he was holding a plastic grocery bag. “It wasn’t really planned or anything.”

“Geez!” Kisumi pouted. “You should have called or something! I would have picked you up from the airport. I’m surprised you were able to—Oh! Haru! Rei!” he called out suddenly, and Rin turned in surprise to see that the two of them were coming toward them from across the street.

“Look who’s here, guys,” Makoto said once they’d joined the circle, smiling in amusement at Kisumi, who was shaking Sousuke by the good shoulder—and Sousuke, who was tolerating it.

If Haru was surprised to see Sousuke there, he hid it well. He merely raised an eyebrow for half a second before nodding politely at him. Sousuke nodded back and turned to Rei.

Rei wasn’t being quite as discreet. His eyes had widened, and he was apparently incapable of stopping himself from glancing over at Rin, who gave him a sort of desperate look and shook his head. Rei seemed to get the picture. He recovered rather quickly and said, “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Yeah, same here,” Sousuke replied as he pried a still-overexcited Kisumi off his side.

“This is so great!” Kisumi was saying. “It’s like a mini high school reunion! Except we all went to different schools. And Rei was in a different year… But still!”

Kisumi chattered on, looking nothing short of ecstatic at being surrounded by all of his friends, and Rin couldn’t help but envy him a little. He would have _loved_ to be able to be that carefree about the whole thing.

He felt something brush against his arm, and Rin looked up from the bit of pavement he’d been staring at to see that Rei had edged his way next to him while everyone was distracted with Kisumi. And it was odd, but Rin felt calmer almost immediately. Though he wasn’t quite sure why. Especially since Rei _really_ looked like he wanted to say something.

Fortunately for Rin, a different woman appeared in the entryway just then and announced, “Kisumi, if you don’t get in here right now, we’re giving your table away.”

Kisumi led them inside and the woman shoved some menus at him. “Be your own host,” she said before turning her attention to another group of people who were waiting.

Kisumi stuck his tongue out at her retreating back and beckoned them into the crowded dining room.

“Oh,” Makoto said when they got to their table. “There aren’t enough chairs.”

“Oh, right, we’re a party of six now. Hm...” Kisumi mused, “…Ok. No prob. Rin’ll just have to sit on Rei’s lap.”

“What the hell!” Rin barked.

Kisumi shrugged. “Sorry, but it’s Haru’s birthday, so he gets his own seat. And the rest of us are too big to share.”

Sousuke pulled a chair over from a neighboring table and sat down in it, effectively settling the matter and saving Kisumi from the swift kick to the shins that Rin was about to bestow upon him.

The rest of them took their seats and Rin ended up squished rather unhappily between Sousuke and Rei. It was all very awkward, this setup, but Rin did his best to pretend he was ok with it. For Haru’s sake if not his own. Rin didn’t want to put a damper on his dinner.

Fortunately, Kisumi and Makoto did a good job of keeping the conversation flowing, and by the time they’d finished ordering, Rin was feeling comfortable enough to join in a little. He just wished _Rei_ would stop shooting him concerned looks every other minute.

While they waited for their food, Haru decided that he wanted to open his presents. He received a mandoline from Makoto and a set of pens from Rei, both of which were big hits. Probably because they’d both been items on his list, Rin realized, and suddenly he was immensely relieved that he’d decided against the fins after all. Haru unwrapped his cutting board next, and Rin was pretty sure he’d never seen anyone that delighted by an overpriced slab of wood.

Lastly, Sousuke, who up until now had been looking like he was in danger of falling asleep again, reached across the table and dropped the convenience store bag he’d arrived with onto Haru’s lap.

“Happy birthday,” he yawned as Haru pulled out two regular bottles of water and a packet of salmon jerky.

“Thanks,” Haru replied. And he actually seemed pretty pleased.

The evening continued on normally as they waited for their food, although most of the conversation revolved around Haru’s precious King Mackerel and all the plans he had for his new kitchen supplies. However, once they exhausted the topic of every item that could conceivably be sliced with a mandoline, the talk began to turn to swimming. And for once, that was the one thing Rin _didn’t_ want to talk about. Luckily for him, once they started discussing the last tournament, Kisumi suddenly remembered that he was supposed be mad at Sousuke for the whole spitting-debacle.

The tirade that ensued from both Kisumi and Haru lasted them until their food arrived. Haru shut up immediately, presumably in awe of his meal, and Kisumi shut up soon after, presumably in awe of Haru, so it proved to be a good distraction all around. They moved back into safer topics after that.

While Rin occupied himself with his salad—which both he and Sousuke had ordered since it was the only thing either of them could afford on the menu—Sousuke asked Rei about Nagisa and the two of them kind of started talking around him. That was perfectly fine with Rin. He was fully committed to the task of eating his dinner and that required absolute concentration. Talking was out of the question.

Unfortunately, the salad didn’t last him quite as long as he would have liked, and in no time at all, he was down to his very last shred of lettuce. To make things worse, he was still hungry. Sousuke had barely even touched his, but Rin wasn’t feeling quite brave enough to ask him to share…

“—right, Rin?”

…Though he _was_ seriously considering stealing something off the platter of sushi that Rei and Makoto were sharing. That wasn’t even fair _,_ now that Rin thought about it. Why hadn’t Rei wanted to split something with _him_? He totally would have gone in on that.

“I said, _RIGHT, RIN_?”

Rin started and looked up guiltily from the eel roll he’d been eyeing on Rei’s plate. Kisumi was staring at him. As was everybody else at the table. 

Rin blinked around at them. “…Sorry, what?”

“Geez, I was talking to you,” Kisumi complained. “You’re really out of it today. What’s wrong?”

“Uh—“

“Well, you know Rin,” Sousuke said unexpectedly. “Nice restaurants make him nervous. He’s never really been good with them, has he?”

“That’s not true!” Rin cried, and it registered vaguely in the back of his mind that this was the first exchange he had with Sousuke in more than an hour.

“…Oh, right!” Kisumi laughed, his annoyance apparently forgotten. “Now, would you be referring to the time he totaled the dessert cart at his grandma’s 75th, or the time he threw up?”

“The dessert cart. When did he throw up?”

“Fifth grade field trip, remember? At the café in the natural history museum!”

“I made it to a trashcan,” Rin muttered. Rei was the only one who heard him, and he offered Rin a sympathetic smile.

“Oh, yeah…” Sousuke nodded thoughtfully. “We didn’t get to see the Hall of Invertebrates because of him. And then there was this time in our third year, right after a practice meet…”

They had reached a point of no return. Once Sousuke was through with his tale, they started going counter clockwise around the table because, as it turned out, _everybody_ , including Makoto and Haru, had an unflattering story about Rin that they were just dying to share. Actually, Haru had _three_.

Rin—who was used to this sort of thing, seeing as it was bound to happen any time two or more of his friends were in the same room together—did his best to just grin and bear it. It would all be over sooner if he didn’t put up a fight.

He couldn’t help but notice, though, in the midst of all the talking and laughing, that rather surprising amount was coming from Sousuke—the talking and laughing, that is. He had come out of his shell now that they’d hit upon a subject they all enjoyed, and that in itself wasn’t unusual. It was more… the degree to which he’d come out of it that had Rin curious. He seemed more… relaxed than Rin remembered… Maybe? It was hard to describe, but something about him was different.

While Rin was lost in thought, Makoto had wrapped up his story and now it was Rei’s turn. And if Rin were being honest, he’d kind of been dreading this moment. Where to even _begin_ , he wondered. Rei had borne witness to so many things just these past few weeks alone. June had not been a good month for Rin. Of course, March, April, and May hadn’t been much better… But _June_ was really one for the history books.

Rin slumped down a little in his seat and prepared to be eviscerated. All eyes turned to Rei.

“Sorry. I can’t really think of anything.”

Rin nearly jerked out of his chair in surprise.

“Aw, come on, Rei,” said Kisumi. “You make up one-third of the people at this table who have lived with the guy. You gotta have _something_.”

 _Yeah!_ Rin fervently agreed in his head. What the hell was Rei being so coy about? Was this a setup or something?

But Rei just smiled and shook his head.

“I think Rin-san always comports himself with grace and dignity,” he said. And maybe it was because he sounded so dead serious that Sousuke actually snorted into his water glass.

 _Rin_ , meanwhile, was blushing all the up to his scalp. Because that— _that_ right there—was _so much_ more embarrassing than any story Rei could have told. And that _included_ the two or three times Rin had been naked.

“…Well,” Kisumi said, smiling kind of a weird smile and elbowing Sousuke hard in the side. “I guess Rin-san’s off the hook then.”

Nobody seemed inclined to disagree, and just like that, the impromptu Rin-roast was over. Everyone turned their attention back to their mostly-finished food and Makoto smoothly changed the subject. Feeling only somewhat relieved that he was no longer the center of attention, Rin turned to Rei to inform him that he was never, under _any_ circumstances, allowed to say anything like that in public ever again.

But before he could, he heard Kisumi mutter, “Oh, shit…” under his breath.

And when Rin followed his gaze behind Haru’s chair, he understood why.

Kisumi half-rose out of his seat, a look of real panic in his eyes as he babbled, “Haru, I am _so_ sorry. See, I told everyone it was your birthday, but I specifically said _not_ to—”

But his apology fell on deaf ears, since Haru was suddenly being serenaded by the entire wait staff. It was bad; they crowded around the table and bellowed out a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday,” which drew the attention of every other diner in the restaurant, all of whom applauded once they were finished.

Haru, who had sat frozen, stone-like, through the entire performance—possibly out of some sort of self-preservation mechanism—could not have looked more pissed off as he was presented with a complementary bottle of champagne in honor of his 20th birthday. Fortunately, they soon followed that up with a free piece of cake, which seemed to undo a bit of the damage.

The waiters clearly planned to stick around to watch Haru blow out his candle, but Kisumi sent them off with quick cease-and-desist motion. Haru visibly relaxed once they’d dispersed.

“…Heh… Sorry about that,” Kisumi said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, do you want me to…?” He gestured to Haru’s cake.

Haru shook his head. “I got it,” he said, and blew out his candle. “And… thanks,” he added quietly, before picking up his fork and digging in.

It was by no means the biggest bone Haru could have thrown him, but Kisumi looked unduly thrilled about it nonetheless.

Sousuke rolled his eyes at Rin, and Rin rolled his right back. But then the fact that things were supposed to be weird between them caught up with him and he hastily looked away.

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. After dinner, they were all planning to go to Haru’s place to hang out and wait for Nagisa, who wanted to do a birthday video chat. But by the time they arrived back on campus, Rin was beginning to feel a little antsy.

He lagged a little behind everyone else as they started heading toward Haru’s apartment and Sousuke fell back to walk beside him.

“So… listen,” he said, lowering his voice, since Makoto wasn’t too far ahead of them. “I know I showed up on pretty short notice—or _no_ notice, actually. So if you want, I can stay at Kisumi’s or find a motel or something.”

“Oh. Well…” Rin began hesitantly. And immediately he felt like the most awful person in the world for actually considering the offer. “…Uh, no. Don’t worry about it. Of course you’re staying with me. I mean… Why wouldn’t you?”

Sousuke shrugged. “Well—”

“Are you guys coming?” Makoto asked, looking back at them. Rin hadn’t realized that he and Sousuke had stopped walking.

“Nah, I think we’re gonna head home,” Rin said quickly, a weird sense of urgency beginning to take hold of him. It had suddenly dawned on him that the sooner he got Sousuke alone, the sooner the two of them could work out this… _problem_ they were currently steeped in.

“Ok,” Makoto said. “I’ll tell Nagisa you said hi.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Rin said as he surged past him. He’d grabbed Sousuke by the sleeve and started towing him up the sidewalk, where Rei was walking a few feet behind Haru and Kisumi.

“Hey, Rei, hold up a sec!” he called as they neared him. Rei paused and turned around. “Sousuke’s gonna crash on the couch tonight,” Rin told him in a tone full of _meaning_. “That ok?”

“Of course,” Rei said easily. A little _too_ easily, really. His expression gave away nothing, but Rin supposed he was just playing it cool. Too bad, though, since Rin really could have used some solidarity right about now.

Of course, he couldn’t exactly communicate that to Rei with Sousuke standing right there _,_ so instead he said, “Alright, then… Have fun… And just stay at Haru’s if it gets too late. I don’t really want you walking home alone at some weird hour.”

Rei rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he said. “Make sure you put a sheet or something on the couch.”

It was Rin’s turn to roll his eyes. “Fine.”

“…What,” said Sousuke, once Rei had left to catch up with others. He’d been watching the exchange curiously. “Is he afraid I’m gonna contaminate it or something?”

“Other way around,” Rin said, laughing for the first time in what felt like ages. However, once he realized he'd gotten exactly what he’d wanted and the two of them were on their own, his laughter dried up almost instantly.

They started walking back to Rin’s building. Things were getting awkward again _fast_ , and Rin knew it was entirely his fault. He _wanted_ to fix this, God dammit, but he just didn’t know how to start. What was more, Sousuke seemed blissfully unaware of Rin’s inner turmoil. But then again, he never _had_ been particularly good at reading the atmosphere.

It was a complete conundrum where to go from here and Rin was at a loss. Plus, it really didn’t help that he was becoming increasingly distracted by hunger pains. He felt kind of lightheaded, actually. Damn, he really should have just stolen Rei’s sushi when he’d had the chance. This was _so_ not a good time for him to be dying of starvation.

“Hey, Rin?” Sousuke said suddenly, breaking the silence that had descended over them.

Rin eyed him warily. “Yeah?”

“Do you mind if we stop somewhere for food? I’m about to drop dead.”

Rin  let out a surprised snort of laughter. “You too?!” he cried before he realized what he was doing. “God, that stupid salad— You know, I think I’m actually hungrier now than I was before I ate it.”

“At least you actually managed to eat yours. I _hate_ beansprouts. It would have been fine if they hadn’t added the beansprouts.”

“You could have just picked them out.”

“I still would have been able to taste them,” Sousuke said with a slight shudder. “And what was the deal with that place, anyway? I didn’t think Haru’s taste was that extravagant.”

“I guess it was Kisumi’s idea,” Rin said. “He got Haru the reservations as a present.”

“ _Just_ the reservations?” Sousuke raised an eyebrow. “What the hell kind of a present is that? Shouldn’t he have at least paid for his meal too?”

“No way. Didn’t you read the menu? Haru’s mackerel thing cost like 9,000 yen.”

Sousuke let out a low whistle. “So _that’s_ why you looked like you were having a heart attack when the waitress asked if we wanted to split the check.” He chuckled a bit but soon sobered and shook his head. “Though, in all honesty… I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually kind of worried about Kisumi. He’s gotta stop trying so hard.”

“I guess… But then again, you do have to admire his fighting spirit.”

“Oh, is _that_  what we’re calling it?”

They continued chatting all the way to the convenience store and from the convenience store to Rin’s building. Before Rin knew it, they had naturally slipped back into the easy rapport they were both accustomed to. It was as though the last three hours hadn’t happened.

 And it should have come as a relief to Rin, but… it didn’t. Because even though they were joking and laughing and stuffing themselves with their second dinner of store-bought bento, it felt cheap somehow. Not because of the bento—though that was undeniably cheap.

It was more like… this wasn’t really him and Sousuke. It was just them putting on a show for each other’s benefit.  Maybe it was the way they were laughing a little too hard at things that were only sort of funny, and listening a little too attentively to even the most mundane of anecdotes. Or _maybe_ it was the fact that they still hadn’t said a word about swimming, which up until now had always been their default topic of conversation.

It would be so easy, he realized as he listened to Sousuke talk about one of his friends from school. It would be _so easy_ to just let things carry on like this. He didn’t _have_ to bring it up. He could just use this as an opportunity to have a nice visit with a friend whom he hadn’t seen in a long time. And it wasn’t like Sousuke would be any the wiser. He _could_ just…

No way. No way in hell.

Rin dismissed the idea as quickly as it had come to him. This shadow had been hanging over him for more than a month now, and he’d be damned if he wasted what might be his only chance to get rid of it once and for all.

Besides. If nothing else, this entire evening had _proved_ that Rin was not supposed to know. Sousuke’s silence on the subject—his complete refusal to even _acknowledge_ it— made it clearer than ever. It was no accident that Rin hadn’t found out. There was some purpose behind it, and Rin didn’t know how much longer he could go without knowing what that purpose was.

And maybe he _was_ overreacting. Maybe he _was_ just building it up in his head. But that didn’t matter. Because even if it turned out that Sousuke didn’t have a problem with him, Rin was seriously beginning to have a problem with Sousuke.

His mouth was running on autopilot while his brain was somewhere else entirely. He managed to keep his thoughts at bay through most of the meal—or at the very least keep them from being written all over his face. But in the end, it was easier just to succumb. There was only so much insincerity he could take—from others _and_ from himself.  He was getting tired.

By the time they were finished eating, Rin had withdrawn into himself yet again. Sousuke seemed to pick up on his shift in mood this time because his chatter eventually died away. They cleaned up in silence.

“…Well,” Sousuke said once they were done. “I guess we should go to bed.”

It was only about ten o’clock, but Rin nodded anyway. “I guess so. You can wash up first. There are towels in the closet.”

“Thanks.”

Once Sousuke was in the bathroom, Rin let out the exhausted sigh he’d been holding in since dinner number one and went into his room. As he rummaged around in his closet for a sheet to put on the couch, he heard Sousuke call, “Hey, Rin? Do you have an extra toothbrush?”

“Look in the cabinet!” Rin called back.

There was a short pause, and then— “Wow, you’ve got like 20 in here… Are you really going through them that fast?”

Rin laughed in spite of himself. “They’re Rei’s. I think he’s prepping for some sort of apocalypse.”

There was a long pause and then— “Is that why you guys have so many razors, too?”

“What? No, that’s—” Rin’s laughter died abruptly and he tensed up again. “—Hey, quit going through my stuff!”

But it was too late, of course.

Sousuke didn’t respond, and a moment later, he shuffled into Rin’s room, holding something in his hand. It was mostly obscured by his grip, but Rin didn’t need to see it to know what it was.

“…Rin. What’s thi—”

“That’s not mine!” Rin blurted before he could stop himself.

Sousuke pinned him with a look of mingling disbelief and annoyance. “It’s got your name on it.”

“…Yeah, well,” Rin stalked up to him and snatched the bottle of muscle relaxers away. “…I told you not to go through my stuff.”

“Not my fault,” Sousuke said with a derisive snort. “Who the hell actually keeps medicine in their medicine cabinet?”

Rin tossed the bottle into one of his desk drawers and said nothing. Sousuke crossed his arms.

“So. What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing,” Rin muttered. He mirrored Sousuke’s stance and crossed his arms, though more in a defensive gesture than anything else. Sousuke looked much more menacing.

“Oh, don’t give me that,” Sousuke scoffed. “It has to be _something_. I mean—” He broke off, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “Look—we haven’t talked in, like, _what_? Four months? You never even bothered to answer my text—”

“What!? I did too!” Rin cried.

“ _No_ , you didn’t!” Sousuke insisted. He dug his phone out of his pocket, pressed a few buttons, and shoved the screen in front of Rin’s face.

“…Oh,” said Rin, slightly dismayed to see that Sousuke was right. He took his own phone out and discovered his wishy-washy reply still in the text box. He must have been so overcome with relief at having finally typed something out that he forgot to actually press send. “…Um. Sorry. I coulda sworn—”

“Forget about that,” Sousuke said impatiently. “Just tell me what’s wrong.”

Rin’s bristled. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”

“Well geez, Rin, I don’t know,” Sousuke said with a humorless laugh. “I mean, the meds _might_ have clued me in. Or that giant bag of Epsom salt you left lying out—you’re supposed to keep that somewhere dry, by the way.”

“I’m—”

“Well, I guess now I know why you’ve been acting so weird… Alright, just spit it out. What’d you screw up?” He walked over to where Rin was standing by his desk and started circling him, arms crossed and eyes narrowed in appraisal. “It’s your knee, isn’t it? I always _knew_ there was something weird about your breaststroke.”

“My breaststroke is _perfect_!” Rin snarled. Then he took a deep breath. “I just… I over-trained for the last meet and hurt my back, that’s all. It’s nothing serious. I’m fine now.”

“You sure about that?” Sousuke looked like he didn’t believe him, and that nearly sent Rin over the edge. Where the hell did he get off acting like _Rin_ was the one with something to hide?

“What, do you want a signed note from my doctor or something? Of course, I’m sure!”

“Ok,” said Sousuke. And then, to Rin’s surprise, he sighed in what seemed to be genuine relief. “Well… that’s good then.”

“I _guess_ ,” Rin said testily. Sousuke frowned at him.

“What’s your problem? You’ve been off ever since I got here, and this is a pretty stupid reason. What the hell did you think was gonna happen if I found out? I mean, you’re _fine_ , aren’t you? You could have told me.”

“Well, you could have told me too!” Rin snapped, his voice rising steadily in volume. “You could have told me, but you didn’t. So you don’t get to be mad that I didn’t tell _you_.”

“What are you—?”

“Your surgery,” Rin said. He wasn’t going to tiptoe around it and wait for Sousuke to guess. “I know you had surgery and that you’re done with swimming for good this time.”

Sousuke’s expression flickered with something that might have been hurt. “…Who told you?” he asked after a heavy silence.

Rin hesitated. “…Kisumi.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. Rin could make out the words “idiot” and “gonna kill,” which instantly lost Sousuke any sympathy Rin might have been holding out for him.

“Don’t blame Kisumi. He thought I already knew… I mean, why wouldn’t he, right?” he added bitterly. “Who would have actually thought you’d do this to me again?”

Sousuke heaved an exasperated sigh and spent some time rubbing the back of his neck. “…Well,” he said eventually, looking back up at Rin with a grim smile. “At least you didn’t chuck a can of soda at me this time.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” said Rin. And unfortunately, he wasn’t able to maintain the undercurrent of anger in voice. It just came out sounding hurt. “Did—did I do something?”

Sousuke sighed again, softly this time. “Hang on.”

“What are you doing?” Rin demanded as Sousuke shunted him aside.

“Preparing myself,” Sousuke replied, lowering himself heavily into Rin’s desk chair. “If we’re gonna do this, I wanna at least be comfortable.”

Rin rolled his eyes, wondering when he’d gotten so old-mannish. Made it a lot harder to stay mad at him when he was acting like a 70 year old. He sat on the edge of his bed and glared at Sousuke expectantly.

“…You didn’t do anything,” Sousuke began, rubbing his eyes in a tired gesture. “It was my problem, ok? It had nothing to do with you.”

“You know, I’m getting pretty sick of people saying that to me,” Rin said coldly. “Obviously it had something to do with me or it wouldn’t have been an issue in the first place. I don’t believe you.”

 He expected Sousuke to deny it, but instead, he shrugged and said, “Yeah, alright… I guess you got me.”

“…I see,” Rin said as calmly as he could. Which wasn’t very calm at all. Not with the weight of all those horrible possibilities he’d dreamed up over the last month suddenly crashing down on him. “W-well then—”

“Don’t get me wrong, though. It wasn’t because of anything you did. I promise I’m not like… _mad_ at you or whatever. And I don’t blame you, either— Don’t act like that isn’t what you were thinking,” Sousuke added when Rin opened his mouth in a panic. “I bet you’ve been beating yourself up over this since you found out about it. You always do that, you know—find a way to make everything all about you.”

Rin winced, not exactly pleased that Sousuke had been able to glean all of that off him, and even less pleased that he was trying make it out like it was Rin’s own fault he’d been so miserable.

“So what if I did?” said Rin. “Is that funny to you? What else was I supposed to think? You had a choice and you chose to tell everyone but me.”

At long last, Sousuke finally had the decency to look ashamed. “…Sorry,” he said quietly.

“Whatever.” Rin crossed his arms and looked away. “…I’m not gonna make you talk about it if you don’t want to. I mean… it's not like I need to hear any more, right? You said it wasn’t my fault, and we both know that’s all _I_ ever cared about.”

“ _Sorry_ ,” Sousuke said again, with much more force this time. “I didn’t mean to imply…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “…I feel really stupid, ok?”

“You should,” Rin said harshly. “You’re _being_ really—”

“I had my reasons, though.”

“Such as?”

“Well, I…” Sousuke hesitated and Rin’s patience took another hit.

“ _Look_ ,” he snapped. “The last I heard, you had joined your university’s team and things were going well. That was about nine months ago. Start from there.”

Sousuke glared at him, but complied nonetheless. “Things _were_ going well,” he began. “I made sure of that. And… I mean, it wasn’t like it was hard. I picked my school specifically because I knew that the swim team sucked— _well_ , actually, that’s not true anymore. They just won a regional thing. Figures they’d start winning after I left… But anyway—” Sousuke shook his head. “That’s not the point. The point is, they sucked back then, so it wasn’t difficult to keep up. And—”

“Wait.” Rin held up a hand. “Just so we’re clear… You had this planned for a long time, right? Like… definitely before the end of high school?”

“I guess,” said Sousuke, looking annoyed by the interruption. “Why?”

“…No reason,” Rin replied faintly through the cloud of relief that had engulfed him. So Rei was right. Sousuke really had planned it all along.

“I thought about it a lot, actually,” Sousuke said. “I mean, wanted to make sure I at least still had the _option_ to swim, even if I couldn’t… you know… _Physically_ do it.”

“So, _could_ you physically do it?” Rin couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Sousuke swim. Once the season was over, he hadn’t set foot in the Samezuka pool again.

 “I thought I could. Remember how I told you I had one more round of physical therapy to get back in shape before school started? It worked for the most part. Not for very long, though. I mean… that’s how it always is. It works until it _doesn’t_ work. I had to take it easy, of course, but that wasn’t a problem…” He paused and chuckled a bit. “God, you would have been so pissed. Most of the team was swimming at a middle school level at best. My range of motion was limited, but that didn’t even matter. I was still one of the faster ones.”

“Well, of course you were!” Rin cried, feeling oddly offended on Sousuke’s behalf. If his team was really as bad as he said they were, then Rin didn’t want him comparing himself to them. “But… what happened?”

“You can guess, can’t you?” Sousuke said with a grimace. “I pushed too hard and my shoulder gave out again. And that was just one time too many. I had to get surgery this time and… that was that.”

Rin nodded, not really sure what to say. He wanted to offer some sort of comfort, but nothing came to mind. Nothing that would actually help, anyway. Plus… it was little late for that.

“I got complacent,” Sousuke continued. “Well, then again… I guess I started out complacent. I mean, everyone warned me. My parents, doctors… even the coach was practically begging me to quit before it happened. I was in such deep denial that when it finally did happen, I almost didn’t even care. I just thought, _Oh, well. I’ll just try again next year…_ ’Course, then the anesthesia wore off and I woke up with my arm in a splint and my shoulder full of metal. Kinda made it harder to pretend after that.” He shrugged, a self-deprecating smile making its way onto his face.

“…I’m sorry!” Rin blurted.

“For what?”

“Well… I was the one who told you to go for it.”

“Yeah,” Sousuke said, smiling for some reason. “You were the _only_ one, actually. It made me pretty happy.”

Rin, who had been hanging his head, looked incredulously up at him. “How come?”

“Because you really seemed to think I could do it. I don’t know if it was because you had too much faith or just not enough medical knowledge, but… it was sort of refreshing, you know? Especially after listening to my family and doctors tell me I couldn’t.”

“Um, that’s nice and all, but you really _should_ have listened to the doctors.”

“I guess,” Sousuke said with a shrug. “But… I’ve made my peace with it. At least now I’ll never have to wonder.” He smiled serenely, his gaze fixed somewhere in the distance.

He was totally playing it up. Clearly Sousuke thought he was off the hook now that he’d shared his (admittedly poignant) story. He was probably relying on the fact that Rin was usually a sucker for that sort of thing.

“You know, you still haven’t explained why you never told me,” Rin reminded him tersely.

Sousuke dropped the zen act and shifted a bit, looking uncomfortable. “Uh… look, Rin. You need to understand—At the time, I was really… _really_ … not happy.”

“Uh, yeah. I can imagine,” Rin said. He didn’t like the way Sousuke’s eyes had drifted to the side. “So?”

“Well… I knew if I told you, then you would _also_ be really, really not happy.”

“Uh-huh…” Rin crossed his arms. He had a feeling he knew what Sousuke was getting at now, and he was not at all happy about it. “Sousuke, I _swear_ , the next words out of your mouth better not be the same excuse you gave me in high school. _Believe_ me, I am way too pissed off at you to cry about this or whatever. You should be more worried about me punching you in the face.”

“Yeah… Here’s the thing, Rin,” Sousuke said seriously. “This time and that time are complete opposites. Last time I hid it from you for your benefit. This time… I did it for mine.”

“…What the hell does that mean?”

Sousuke exhaled through gritted teeth, looking extremely reluctant to say whatever it was he was about to say. “Ok, just… look at this way: I was having a hard enough time coping with it as it was, so…”

“So…?”

“So… I really didn’t want to have to support _you_ through it too. At least not at the same time.”

Rin stared blankly at him for several moments as his words sunk in.

And once they _did_ , he sprang up from the bed.

“Are—are you _kidding_ me!?” he bellowed, pointing a  damning finger at Sousuke.“You didn’t tell me because you were afraid I was going to _out_ - _grieve_ you!?”

“Huh…” Sousuke said, tilting his head thoughtfully. “That’s actually a really good way of putting it.”

Rin grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and Sousuke actually had the nerve to start laughing.

“Shut up! This isn’t funny!”

“Oh come on, Rin! You know you would have been inconsolable, and speaking from past experience, that gets exhausting _really_ fast. I wasn’t going to deal with your shit before I was done dealing with mine. I mean, no offense, but I just wouldn’t have had the energy. ”

Rin was pretty sure he’d never taken _more_ offense to anything in his entire life! He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he had just spent the last month and a half in complete agony and _all_ because Sousuke had decided to ascend to a higher—possibly _the_ highest—plane of laziness! How many days and nights had Rin wasted thinking he had done something horrible—something _unforgiveable_ —to lose Sousuke’s trust and confidence, when in reality, Sousuke just hadn’t wanted to “ _deal”_ with Rin’s reaction?

“What the hell kind of logic is that, you bastard!?” Rin snapped, so overwhelmed at this point that he was nearly shouting. “Even if that _did_ make any sense, it’s still been six months! Just how long were you actually planning on waiting? Why would you… I mean… unless…” Rin hesitated, some of his righteous fury draining out of him. “…Unless you’re… still not over it?”

“That’s not it,” Sousuke said firmly. “I’ve been ready to tell you for a while now, actually, but… I guess I just kept putting it off. And the longer you wait the harder it gets. It was more a procrastination thing than anything else. _You_ of all people should know what that’s like.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Please. You couldn’t even bring yourself to text me after you found out. That is not the mark of someone who knows how to get a jump on things.”

“That’s—!” Rin started to protest, but then he realized that Sousuke actually had a point. “…Whatever.”

“And besides…” Sousuke added. “We had already started to lose touch by the time it happened. I didn’t want the first thing you heard from me in however long to be something _bad_. Especially if there was a chance it could affect your performance. So the one or two times we did talk… it was just easier to pretend nothing was wrong.”

He looked genuinely regretful now… and Rin decided that it was going to have to be enough for him. Sousuke had suffered enough, and frankly, so had he. Rin exhaled and allowed his shoulders to relax. Then he let go of Sousuke’s collar.

“Well…” he said. “I still think you were being stupid, but… I guess I understand.”

“…Sorry I kept it from you,” Sousuke said quietly once Rin had slumped back down on his bed.

“Yeah, well…” Rin shrugged.  “Sorry you thought you had to.”

They sat quietly for a few moments after that, both staring off into space. Finally, Rin looked back up at Sousuke.

“Hey,” he said. “Are you… really ok with this?”

Sousuke cracked a smile. “Well...   you probably could have been a little less dramatic about it, but I guess you can’t really help being yourself.”

“I’m not talking about that, asshole. What I meant was—”

“I know what you meant.”

Rin rolled his eyes. “Be serious,” he said, just a little bit imploringly. “ _Are_ you?”

Sousuke said nothing for a long moment. So long that Rin started to get a little worried. Maybe it hadn’t been fair of him to ask that question. He couldn’t imagine what Sousuke must've been feeling, and maybe Sousuke didn’t want to let him in on it. He’d gone through it on his own by choice, so maybe he wanted to keep it that way… Maybe he didn’t want to talk about it all, and Rin should just back off now that he had his answers.

He was just about to tell Sousuke he didn’t have to answer him when he finally spoke.

“You know… I really think I am,” he said. “It’s for the best. I’ve had a lot of time to think since everything happened… and I’ve realized some stuff,” he added cryptically.

“Like what?” Rin asked, completely hooked.

“Well… like the fact that all those times I refused to call it quits in the past, I did it because learning to live with the pain just seemed like a much more… _honorable_ choice than giving up something that was so important to me… And my ego might have had something to do with too. I guess I thought I being _strong_ , or whatever. But now I know how backwards that was. I mean, pain isn’t something you’re _supposed_ to learn to live with. Even if it’s for a worthy cause.  Sure, swimming was important to me—it was practically my entire life. _Of_ _course_ it was important to me—but it was also really _bad_ for me. And the truth is, it takes a lot more strength—and a lot more honor—to let go of things like that than to hang on to them. And… yeah. That’s pretty much what I took away from all this,” he finished with a shrug.

Rin stared at him. “…Whoa.”

Sousuke smiled and leaned back, looking supremely satisfied with himself. “You like that?”

“Yeah!” Rin nodded eagerly, still a little awestruck. “Geez. How many fortune slips did you have to go through before that one popped up?”

“What, you don’t think I managed to come up with that on my own?”

“Definitely not.”

“Eh… it was my dad, actually. He’s been spouting that sort of stuff a lot these days. It’d probably be really annoying if it wasn’t so… you know.”

“Yeah… I know,” said Rin. And he really _did_ know. After all, if there was anything being friends with Rei had taught him—especially recently—it was that the things we don’t particularly want to hear are sometimes the most helpful. His face heated up a little thinking about it, for some reason, so he pushed it out of his mind and smiled bracingly at Sousuke. “Well. I guess that’s that, then.”

“Pretty much,” Sousuke said, returning Rin’s smile with a slightly haggard one of his own. He yawned and got to his feet, stretching his back out a bit and looking down at Rin thoughtfully. “So… You hurt yourself, huh?”

Rin grimaced.  “…Kind of.”

He expected Sousuke to give him a hard time about it—reprimand him for being irresponsible, maybe lecture him a little. But instead, he laughed.

“Man… as much of a bummer as our estrangement’s been, I’m kinda glad I didn’t have to be around for _that_. I bet you were freaking out. This is the first time something like that has happened, isn’t it?”

“Well… yeah!” Rin replied, a little nonplussed. “Geez, you don’t have to _joke_ about it. I really thought I was… I mean, I’m fine now, sure, but this isn’t really a laughing—”

“Relax, Rin,” said Sousuke, still chuckling. “You don’t get to where I am by indulging in a little overtraining now and then. It takes years and years of not knowing when to quit. I’m not worried about you at all.”

Rin deflated a little bit at that. “Yeah, I… I learned my lesson,” he muttered. Sousuke smiled and punched him in the shoulder. A little _harder_ than necessary.

They’d been talking for almost an hour now, Rin realized as he glanced at his clock, and he was officially _done_ with this entire business. Now that it was resolved, he was ready to put it behind him and move on. And he was just about to say so when one final thought—one that had been in the back of his mind for a while now—suddenly struck him.

“Say…” he began, looking up at Sousuke suspiciously. “Not that I’m not happy about it and all… but why did you _really_ come here? Are you sure this was just a random visit?”

“Hm?” Sousuke looked up from the desk drawer he’d just begun snooping through. “…Oh,” he said with a smirk. “Well, the truth is, on Wednesday night I got this really bizarre e—” He cut himself off so abruptly that Rin swore he could actually hear his teeth click together when he shut his mouth.

“A really bizarre what?”

Sousuke shook his head quickly. “Just a… bizarre feeling that you needed to talk to me. That’s all.”

“Huh…” Rin said thoughtfully. “Really?”

“What, you don’t believe me?”

“No… I believe you,” said Rin. It made sense, he supposed. He _had_ been sending out a lot of extremely negative energy. It must have been a best friend thing. Rin smiled again, feeling rather touched that Sousuke had responded to his distress signals. Even if he _was_ a month or two late. “Cool. I guess Haru and Makoto aren’t the only ones with some weird psychic connection.”

“Yeah, looks that way,” Sousuke agreed. And his mouth was sort of twitching, but Rin assumed it was because he was holding back emotion as opposed to laughter.

* * *

Another hour later found the two of them lounging around Rin’s room in their pajamas and trying to catch each other up on the last six months or so of their lives. Rin was lying on his bed and Sousuke was sprawled out on the floor in front of him. He was in the middle of telling Rin—in surprising detail—about his plans to work for the same car company as his dad.

“I don’t know… I just have a hard time picturing you as a salesman,” said Rin once Sousuke had stopped for breath.

“How come?”

“Because you don’t like people and you have zero charisma. You’re gonna end up hiding in the back with the mechanics.”

“I have plenty of charisma,” Sousuke said crossly. “I just don’t bother wasting it on _you_. And anyway, right now, that’s the least of my concerns. In the current economy, projected manufacturing figures are holding pretty steady but consumption is reaching its lowest since the bubble burst, and even if we don’t factor in inflation, it’s still—”

“Oh my God, Kisumi was _right_ ,” Rin groaned. “You _have_ gotten boring.”

“Yeah, right, ‘cause listening to you bitch about that Iwasawa guy was _so_ much more interesting. Widen your scope a little, Rin.” Sousuke yawned and lay back on the floor, crossing his arms behind his head. His eyes rolled back until he was staring at the butterfly blanket hanging on the wall directly behind him. “…What the hell am I looking at?”

Rin rolled his eyes and decided he didn’t really want to get into it. “What have you been doing with yourself outside of class?” he said instead. “You must have a lot of free time now.”

“My advisor made me pick a new extracurricular,” Sousuke said in a tone that suggested he was more than a little bitter about it. “I ended up in the cooking club. They were the only ones who didn’t make me fill out an application.”

“And how’s that going?”

“Pretty boring. I think we actually cooked something maybe _once_ , but mostly we just end up going to bars. The senpais always drink too much and the rest of us have to deal with taking them home. It’s a pain, but I usually get a free drink out of it, so… Oh, that reminds me.”

Sousuke rolled over onto his stomach and rummaged through the pile of stuff he’d created when he dumped his overnight pack onto Rin’s floor. He emerged a moment later with the same convenience store bag he’d brought Haru’s water bottles in, and out of that he pulled—

“Isn’t that Haru’s?” Rin asked incredulously, eyeing the bottle of champagne. “Wait, you didn’t _steal_ it—”

“Don’t be stupid,” Sousuke said. “He gave it to me on the train ride back. You know, while you were busy brooding or whatever. He seemed kind of eager to get rid of it.”

“Oh… Yeah, I think fizzy things freak him out,” Rin said. He glared at Sousuke as he popped the cork and allowed some of the foam to drip onto the carpet. Sousuke took a gulp and held the bottle out to Rin, who snorted. “No thanks.”

“Why not? You don’t have to hold back,” said Sousuke, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “We’re celebrating a rekindled friendship. You gotta join in or else I’m gonna look really weird and pathetic drinking a bottle of champagne by myself.”

“And you think two guys sharing a bottle of champagne will look any _less_ weird and pathetic? Give it a _rest_ ,” he added as Sousuke tapped the bottle insistently against his knee. “I’m not really big on that stuff.”

“I can’t believe you’re refusing to commemorate our reunion. Come on. One little sip won’t hurt you. Just think of it as ceremonial.”

Rin rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine. I guess when you put it like that…” He reached out to take the bottle and nearly fell over when Sousuke suddenly whisked it away from him.

“Oh, _right_ …” he drawled, smirking as he held the bottle out of Rin’s reach. “Maybe it’s not such a good idea after all. You know, I heard about what happened the last time you got a bit of alcohol in your system. Been meaning to talk to you about that, actually.”

“How would you know anything about that?” Rin snapped, already feeling his face flush.

“Kisumi explained the situation to me.”

“In what terms?”

 “Oh, you know…” Sousuke shrugged. “Something about you going on a major bender at some party.”

“…Oh.” Rin breathed out a sigh of relief. Good. So maybe he _didn’t_ have the full story. “Well, that’s—”

“But I believe his _exact_ words were ‘Rin got himself rip-roaring drunk and nearly absconded with Rei’s precious, precious virtue,’” Sousuke interrupted, and Rin inhaled so quickly that a bit of his saliva ended up going down the wrong pipe. Sousuke watched him choke for a moment. “…Yeah. That was pretty much my reaction, too.”

“Sh-shut up!” Rin spluttered, once he was able to breathe again. He brandished a finger at Sousuke. “Ok, first of all, that is _not_ what happened. I didn’t—I didn’t, like… _jump_ him, or whatever! Not even close! I barely made it past his neck, for God’s sake! And for the record—!” Rin broke off, thumping himself in the chest a few times and coughing. “It was a complete accident! It’s not like I _wanted_ it to happen—so—so don’t even ask! Also, why the hell is _Rei’s_ virtue more precious than mine?!”

“Wow, you’re so defensive!” Sousuke said cheerfully. He looked like he was thoroughly enjoying himself.

“Shut up,” Rin said again, hiding his face in his hands. Sousuke probably wouldn’t find everything so funny if he knew that he was the reason Rin had gotten himself drunk in the first place. Not that he’d ever tell him that… Oh, God, and now he was reliving it in head. He’d managed to avoid thinking about it for the past few weeks—mostly because no one had brought it up—and evidently time had done nothing to make the memory more bearable. His embarrassment had aged like a fine wine and was more potent now than ever.

Sousuke laughed. “It’s alright, Rin, you don’t need to justify yourself to me. I know you didn’t mean to. Besides, we’ve all been there. Alcohol just makes you do stupid things. That’s kind of the entire point.”

Rin raised his head to look at him. “So you’ve done something just as stupid before?” he asked hopefully.

“As stupid as trying to hook up with my roommate?”

Rin nodded.

“Hell no,” Sousuke snorted. “ _That_ degree of stupidity takes a special kind of drunk. It’s kind of an accomplishment, actually. You never do things by halves, huh?”

“Yeah, well... I’m not proud of myself,” Rin said sullenly. “Can we stop talking about it now?”

“Though if I’m being honest, I can’t really say I’m that surprised,” Sousuke continued, ignoring Rin. “I mean, I’ve seen you get a buzz from eating a few pieces of dark chocolate. Clearly you and _free beer_ were never destined to be a good combination. You know, you really should have consulted me first; I coulda warned you. See, _this_ is what happens when you lose touch with me.”

“Yeah, yeah. Won’t happen again,” Rin said crabbily, waving him away. Though on the inside he was feeling a little guilty. Rin knew he probably _was_ the one who had dropped the ball on their correspondence, and he was definitely going to work on that. He was just glad that Sousuke didn’t seem to be holding itagainst him.

“…So,” Sousuke said after taking a few more swigs of champagne. “How’d Ryugazaki take it? Was he mad?”

“Don’t so look so eager. It’s not that exciting.”

“What, so he didn’t beat you up or anything?”

“Like he could.” Rin rolled his eyes… But then he remembered that Rei was actually a little bigger than him now. Not by much, of course, but he _had_ filled out a bit more in the chest and shoulders, in addition to the couple centimeters of height he’d gained. So it wasn’t really _that_ far out of the realm of possibility, Rin supposed. Rei would _probably_ be able to pin him down if he really wanted to… at least for a little while… if he were right on top of him… “B-besides,” Rin added, shaking his head. “It wasn’t like that. He was really nice about it. I mean… he’s always really nice about it.”

“Uh… has this sort of happened more than once?” Sousuke asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No!” Rin said quickly, his face flushing slightly. He had no idea why he’d let that last part slip out. “I just meant he’s like… nice in general. Like… habitually nice. Polite and stuff. But, um… in any case, that’s old news. We’re over it.”

“If you say so,” said Sousuke, regarding Rin with some amusement. “Well, anyway, unfortunate drunken encounters aside, how _are_ things going in that department?”

“That department?” Rin repeated blankly.

“Yeah, you know—anyone on the horizon or whatever?”

“Oh,” Rin said. “…Nope.”

“Oh, really,” Sousuke said flatly. “So you’re telling me that in all the time you’ve spent here, you haven’t come across a single person in your daily travels who you would even _maybe_ consider exchanging energy with? Or at least phone numbers?”

“The girl at the reception desk in the gym gave me her number after I turned in my membership application last year. Does that count?”

“Only if you used it,” said Sousuke, looking doubtful.

Rin shook his head. “I spit some gum into the slip of paper and threw it away by accident. And then I felt really bad about it, so I made sure I never came in while she was working. It was pretty stressful. Messed up my whole schedule for a while.”

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds tough. But listen, that’s not exactly what I’m trying to get at here. What I _really_ wanna know is—”

“What about you?” Rin asked, a little desperate to move the focus off himself. This really wasn’t his favorite thing to talk about, and Sousuke knew that. _Other_ people’s love lives, yes… but definitely not his own. Mostly because he didn’t have one, but also because a pretty big part of him was afraid he never would. For… various reasons. Plus, he was already having a hard enough time muddling through his friendships as it was. It seemed downright foolish to hope he could manage anything beyond that.

“We’re not talking about me; we’re talking about _you_.”

“How is that fair?” Rin snapped.

Sousuke just shrugged and leaned back on his palms, looking up at him expectantly. Rin sighed through gritted teeth.

“I’m… busy,” he said. “Swimming’s gotta come before everything. And dating’s like… I don’t know… like number ten on the to-do list.”

“What are one through nine?

“Eight medals and a sports drink ad.”

“Huh…” Sousuke nodded approvingly. “Well, I guess that’s ok, then. But like I said earlier… maybe you should widen your scope just a little bit. I really think it’d do you some good.”

“Whatever,” Rin muttered. He wasn’t really making heads or tails of what Sousuke was trying to say—if he was trying to say anything at all. He could just as easily have been messing with him—and it was kind of putting him in a bad mood.

Sousuke must have picked on it, since he smiled at him and reached up to smack him on the back.  “Buck up, Rin. You hang on to that precious virtue of yours as long as you want. There’s no pressure. I’m just making conversation.”

Rin blushed and rolled his eyes. “That’s fine, but as you can see, I’ve _really_ got nothing to report. Pick a new subject.”

“Sure thing,” Sousuke said readily. “So, what _exactly_ did you mean when you said you ‘barely made it past his neck’? ‘Cause that sounds incredibly—”

Rin threw a pillow at his head.

* * *

 

When Rin cracked his eyes open the next morning, he regretted it immediately.

He felt completely hung over, even though—despite Sousuke’s best efforts—he hadn’t had a sip of alcohol. But when he looked at his clock, he realized why; he and Sousuke hadn’t gone to sleep until four in the morning, and now it was only about seven-thirty. Gross. No wonder he felt dead.

Rin grimaced and leaned over to check on Sousuke, who had fallen asleep on the floor. But to his surprise, what he found was a blanket, a pillow, and no Sousuke.

 _Did he move to the couch_? Rin wondered vaguely, pulling his covers more tightly around him and preparing to go back to sleep. But then he heard voices coming from outside his door—which he realized was probably the reason he’d woken up—and decided to investigate. He reluctantly rolled out of bed and stumbled to the door, nearly knocking over the bottle of champagne Sousuke had left open on the floor.

The light was on in the kitchen, and when Rin wandered in, he found Sousuke and Rei standing in front of the stove together and chatting amicably.

“—don’t have to go to this much trouble,” Sousuke was saying as he passed Rei the salt. “Especially not on my account.”

“I really don’t mind,” Rei said, looking up from the pot he’d been stirring and smiling sunnily at him. “It’s nice to do this sort of thing once in a while.”

“This sort of thing,” upon further inspection, turned out to be an elaborate spread of breakfast dishes, enough to cover almost the entire kitchen table. _…The hell?_ Rin stared incredulously. It was a proper Japanese breakfast, too. How had that even happened? The last time Rin had checked, there was nothing in the kitchen besides cereal and an artichoke that he’d bought on a whim and never ended up using.

Sousuke shook his head. “Ryugazaki, you really need to find yourself a new roommate,” he said. “I swear, you’re completely wasted on Rin. Watch, I bet he doesn’t even say th— Oh, hey, Rin.”

Sousuke had finally noticed him standing in the entryway and openly staring at them.  Rei turned and fixed his smile on Rin. “Good morning, Rin-san.”

“Morning…”

“Look, Ryugazaki made us breakfast,” Sousuke said.

“Yeah, I can see that. Where’d it come from?”

“I went shopping before I came home,” said Rei. “Since we have a guest, I figured I should do something special.”

“Pretty _nice_ of him, huh?” added Sousuke, who seemed to be watching Rin very carefully.

“Yeah…” Rin nodded, feeling a little lost… though he wasn’t sure why. “I guess. Um…” He shook his head a little. “I’m gonna… shower. So… I’ll be right back.”

“We’ll be here,” Sousuke said cheerfully. Rei, who was beginning to look a little concerned, seemed like he was going to say something, but before he could, Sousuke nudged him and said, “Your miso’s evaporating.”

Rei hastily turned back to the stove, Sousuke reached across him to turn on the air vent, leaning in way closer than necessary—and Rin decided he really did need that shower.

…The whole scene was very nice and domestic, Rin thought as he trudged to the bathroom in an almost zombielike state. And it was a relief that Sousuke seemed so comfortable around Rei. He always liked it when his friends got along with each other…

…At least that was what his brain was telling him. So why did the rest of him feel so weird about it?

Probably because he was still half asleep… That had to be it. It really was much too early, Rin decided as he turned on the shower. He just wasn’t thinking straight. Or feeling straight, or whatever. It _was_ a little strange that Sousuke was up and about—Rin had expected him to sleep until at least noon—but other than that, everything was great.

How had Rei’s night been, he wondered. Boring, more likely than not. At least until Nagisa called. They probably solved a jigsaw puzzle or played miniature air hockey or whatever... Something wholesome and lame like that, Rin thought with an air of superiority. And he ignored the fact that if he hadn’t been occupied with Sousuke, he would have been right there with them and probably having a pretty good time doing it.

They must have turned in pretty early if Rei had been able to wake up, go shopping, and cook breakfast all before eight o’clock. It was kind of unnatural, actually. But then again, Rei was pretty much always like that.

By the time Rin was done with his shower about ten minutes later, he was feeling much more himself. He still wasn’t particularly pleased to be awake this early when he didn’t have to be, but breakfast _had_ looked good. Plus, he figured he should try to spend as much time with Sousuke as he could. He probably wouldn’t be staying much longer, since school was starting again the next day. He really was great to fly all the way out here to see him. It was such a load off Rin’s mind, having everything resolved. He really had just built it all up in his head, and Rin couldn't have been happier to be proven wrong.

It was amazing how just solving this one little problem had changed Rin’s entire outlook. The present, the future—everything—just seemed so much better and brighter now. He’d spent the night reconnecting with one of his dearest friends, and now he was going to get to sit down and have breakfast with him and another dear friend. Rin was beyond happy. He was overjoyed. He was ecstatic.

…Until he walked back into the kitchen and saw Sousuke and Rei holding hands.

Well—ok, they weren’t _holding_ hands, per se. It was more like Sousuke was holding Rei’s hand in one of his and using the other to wrap a bandage around Rei’s finger. They were still standing pretty damn close, though. It wasn’t a huge kitchen, for sure, but there was absolutely no reason for Sousuke to be in Rei’s space like that. There just _wasn’t_. He’d practically backed Rei into the counter!

“I still can’t believe you didn’t notice,” Sousuke was saying as he lifted Rei’s hand to examine his bandaging work. “I mean, it’s a pretty deep cut. Didn’t it hurt?”

“I was just concentrating,” Rei said, looking a little flustered. “It’s not that bad. And I don’t think I got any blood on the apple slices. They should still be edible.”

Sousuke laughed and shook his head. “You’re way too single minded. You should—”

Rin cleared his throat and they both looked over at him.

“Rin-san!” Rei cried, tugging his hand out of Sousuke’s grasp and turning a few shades redder than he already was. “You’re back!”

Rin nodded and stepped further into the kitchen. He put his hands on his hips and stood imposingly before them.

“Shower’s free now... If anyone wants to _use_ it,” he said, directing the words at Sousuke, who just shrugged.

“I’m good.”

“I’ll go!” Rei said quickly. He carefully maneuvered his way out from between Sousuke and the stove and hurried away.

“Try not to get the bandage wet!” Sousuke called after him.

Rin kept an eye on Rei until he was safely in the bathroom. Once the door was shut, he walked over to Sousuke—who looked like he was trying to hold in laughter— and kicked him in the back of the knee.

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?” Sousuke asked, laughing for real as he collapsed into one of the chairs at the table.

“Whatever it was you were just doing!” Rin snapped. He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, took a seat across from Sousuke and regarded him seriously. “It’s bad for his health.”

“Bad for _your_ health, more like,” Sousuke said under his breath, and Rin paused with the bottle halfway to his lips.

“I’m pretty sure I have no idea what you’re talking about. All I know is that you only do that…  _looming thing_ when you're trying to intimidate someone or flirt with them. And you really shouldn’t be doing either of those things to Rei.”

“He cut himself and I put a bandage on him!” Sousuke snorted. “What was I supposed to do, just let him bleed? Besides, when have you ever seen me flirt?”

“You do it with Kisumi sometimes. It’s kind of unsettling to watch.”

Sousuke froze for half a second, but then he shrugged. “Eh. It’s the only way to get him to shut up sometimes,” he said. “But anyway, since it bothers you so much, how about I give you my solemn word that I will never perform first aid on Ryugazaki ever again? Would that make you feel better?”

" _No_ ," Rin said petulantly. But it was mostly stemming from confusion. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was getting all bent out of shape about. He was probably being stupid, but he just couldn’t help it. He was… _irritated_ … or something like that. He took an angry bite of toast from one of the plates and tried to sort out his feelings.

Sousuke watched him struggle with that for a few moments before smiling. “Alright, maybe I was just a little.”

“ _Why_?”

“Social experiment. Results are still pending, but I’m pretty confident in my hypothesis.”

Rin was pretty sure he didn’t want to know what that was supposed to mean, so he didn’t ask.

“You know, I was thinking this earlier, but… college _changed_ you,” he said instead, eyeing Sousuke with distaste. “I don’t like it.”

“I think I’ll live.”

Rin _hmphed_ and reached for the butter. “When did you two get so close, anyway? I didn’t really think you were friends.”

“I just went to a few of his practices and competitions last year. We got to talking a bit, I guess,” Sousuke said, looking thoughtful. “I mean, I wouldn’t really say we’re close, but we’ve kind of kept in touch. Like we’ll email occasionally and stuff.”

“…I see.” Well. That was nice, Rin supposed.

“Does that piss you off?” Sousuke asked, tilting his head to get a better look at Rin’s face. Rin flushed.

“Not really.” At least he was pretty sure it didn’t.

 Sousuke’s smile turned a little malicious. “You know… He also sent me a Christmas card last year.”

“He sent me one too! _And_ a New Year’s card. So... I win.”

Sousuke held up his hands in defeat and Rin felt marginally better.

They continued eating and chatting for a few more minutes before Sousuke glanced at the clock on the wall. “Oh. I’ve gotta get going.”

“Already?” Rin asked as Sousuke took a few more hasty bites of food and stood up. That wasn’t fair. He’d only just gotten here.

“Yeah, I’ve got some stuff to do before school tomorrow… What?” he added with a grin, since Rin wasn’t doing anything to hide his disappointment. “You didn’t think you were the _only_ thing I had going on, did you?”

“Sort of,” Rin admitted dolefully. He got up and followed Sousuke to the door, where his bag was already waiting for him. Suddenly feeling a little awkward, Rin crossed his arms and shifted from one foot to the other. “Well… thanks for coming, I guess. I’m glad you did.”

Sousuke nodded and shouldered his bag. “Call me, ok? Or text, or email, or send a card—whatever you want, it doesn’t matter. I mean… just because _my_ swimming career is over doesn’t mean I don’t wanna hear about yours. And other stuff too, of course… Anything, really. Just… let’s not let this happen again.”

“It won’t, I promise. I’ll call you,” Rin said eagerly. “…Or at least I will if I don’t drop dead first from all the food I still have to eat,” he added glancing behind him at the table. “You _sure_ you can’t stay any longer?”

“Sorry,” Sousuke chuckled. “But man, he really went all out, huh? I feel like I should have tipped him. You know, he even offered to iron my clothes for me. Really five star service here.”

Rin rolled his eyes. “I hope you’re not making fun of him.”

“Nah. If anything, I’m making fun of you. Uh… listen…” Sousuke glanced toward the bathroom and gestured for Rin to come closer. “Ok,” he continued in a lowered voice, once Rin had leaned forward. “I wasn’t gonna say anything, since it seemed like he didn’t really want me to—well not that he came right out and said it, it was more like he strongly _implied_ that it’d be better if you didn’t know. I kind of get the feeling he’s a little afraid of you, actually, which is hilarious for so many reasons, like, you don’t even— Well, anyway.The point is, I’m not supposed to tell you. But screw that. You could use a leg up.”

“What are you talking about?” Rin asked impatiently.

“Ryugazaki’s the one who invited me here,” Sousuke said. Rin gaped at him.

“Are—are you serious? How did he—?”

“He sent me an email on Wednesday. And—I mean, it started out pretty normal, right? Standard greeting, polite inquiries into my health and school life, talked about himself a bit, that sort of thing—But then he started talking about _you_.”

“Oh, God…”

Sousuke nodded. “He said you’d seemed really down lately—didn’t see fit to mention _why_ , though, which would have been, you know, _helpful_ —and he felt bad that he didn’t know what to do for you. And he mentioned how whenever he gets upset, talking to his buddy Hazuki always makes him feel better—I mean, he didn’t refer to him like that, obviously. I’m just paraphrasing,” he added, as though Rin couldn’t have figured that out for himself. “And then he was all, perhaps the same principle would apply to Rin-san. Only, you know… with _me_.”

“I see…” Rin said, chewing his lip.

“Yup. It was very roundabout. He kind of went on in that vein for another sixteen paragraphs or so and ended the whole thing like, _anyway, here’s our address, the weather in Tokyo is really nice this time of ye_ ar. Which is such a _lie,_ by the way. I think he forgot I used to live here.” Sousuke laughed. “...But anyway, looks like that guy can’t really do subtle, huh? It was pretty funny, actually. Remind me to forward it to you later.”

“Please don’t,” Rin said, a little faintly. He really wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel right now. All he knew was… he wasn’t actually that surprised. “…What’s that face for?” he added, crossing his arms self-consciously. Sousuke was grinning at him.

“Ah… nothing.” Sousuke shook his head. “I was just thinking… You’re kind of a handful sometimes, you know that? Especially to live with. I mean, you’re moody, and anal retentive, and high maintenance, and bad at communicating—”

“What’s your point?” Rin barked.

“My point is… I’m glad you’ve got someone who can keep up with you. Be sure to thank him, ok?”

“For what?” Rin muttered sulkily.

Sousuke gave him a wry look. “I’m sure you’ll think of something. Start with breakfast and work your way backwards.”

Rin must have come up with some response to that. He _knew_ he must have because a minute later he was saying bye to Sousuke and closing the door after him. He wandered back into the kitchen after that, lost in thought.

His first instinct was to be mad.

Because he’d been completely wrong. Rei hadn’t butted out, hadn’t backed off and let Rin solve his own problem. Quite the opposite, in fact. _Why_ did he always do this? It was like he couldn’t go two seconds without meddling in Rin’s affairs. Was he really that concerned? What was he even getting out of it?

Rin honestly had no clue, and the really weird part was… he didn’t even care. Because even as he stood there in the middle of the kitchen, thinking about Rei’s inability to mind his own damn business, any initial anger he might have felt was giving way to something completely different. It was warm instead of hot, and soft instead of sharp as it settled in his chest. Rin couldn’t exactly put a name to it, but gratitude was probably a good place to start.

When he looked at where he was a day ago and compared it to where he was now, there was no way Rin could wish things had played out differently. Left in Rin’s hands, the situation had been going nowhere. And, if he were willing to be honest with himself, there was a good chance it would have stayed like that.

And then there was Rei, who hadn’t even been able to wait 12 hours before coming up with a solution. Rin should have seen it coming, really. He was the one who’d presented Rei with a problem, after all. And if there was one thing Rei liked doing, it was solving problems.

Rin didn’t like solving problems. He liked it when problems were _solved_ , but he hated getting there. It was the reason he did things like swim with a back injury, and marathon bad soap operas when he should have been making phone calls, and rip off Band-Aids one tiny little bit at a time.

He’d never had occasion to witness it, but Rin was beginning to imagine that Rei was the type to just tear them off in one go. And that was sort of thing Rin could respect in a person.

… It had been for the best, he decided. The control freak in him was feeling a little bruised, of course, but the rest of him was nearly giddy with relief. He didn’t have much time to dwell on it, though.

He’d sort of been leaning against the kitchen counter, but as soon as he heard Rei’s bedroom door open, Rin snapped to attention.

Rei emerged, still slightly damp from his shower, and not looking much more relaxed than when he’d left for it. He walked over to the kitchen, but paused in the entryway.

“…Oh. Did Yamazaki-san leave already?”

“Yup. Just us again.”

“I see…” Rei said. And it was almost funny how visibly nervous he suddenly became. He hesitated a few moments longer before brushing past Rin. He cleared his throat. “Well… that was quite a surprise, wasn’t it? I never would have predicted—I mean, I never would have thought—I mean, it was very strange timing, but, uh—”

“Yeah,” Rin said, cutting him off before he accidentally incriminated himself. As much as he always enjoyed watching Rei try to flounder his way through telling a lie, now just wasn’t the time. “It was… some coincidence.”

“Coincidence…” Rei repeated.

Rin nodded. “Well, yeah. I mean… what else could it have been?” he said. “…Right?”

“R-right…” Rei said slowly, his expression flickering with hope.

“I guess I was pretty lucky this time,” Rin continued.

“Good! I’m glad you feel that way.”

 “Don’t get me wrong, though… I’m not counting on something like that ever happening again... In fact, I’d be pretty pissed off if it did. I can take care of myself, you know. I don’t _need_ a coincidence to do it for me.”

“Of course!” Rei said, nodding eagerly. “But… it was ok, right? I mean, just this once—”

“Yeah… Just this once.”

Rei’s shoulders finally relaxed, and Rin reckoned his look of relief rivaled his own. “Well,” he said as he headed toward the table. He began clearing away empty plates and dishes. “In any case, I’m glad you got the opportunity to see him. Did you have a nice time?”

Rin nodded, but then he realized that Rei’s back was turned to him. “Yeah. I guess it was sorta nice.”

“And…” Rei turned back to him now. “…Did you get to say everything you wanted to say to him?”

Rin opened his mouth, but his voice failed him for a moment. It was kind of embarrassing, actually, since all that came out was a sort of quiet crack. Rei didn’t laugh at him, though. Rin flushed and cleared his throat. “I… yeah. I did. It’s um… We’re fine now.”

"Well... good. I'm very happy to hear it," Rei said.

The smile he gave Rin was so bright that Rin was almost positive he wasn’t doing it on purpose. There was just no way. It was the sort of smile that you were only supposed to have in the middle of the night while you were reliving some sort of _really_ good memory, like winning a race or something. The sort of smile that only your pillow was allowed to know about. And Rin was most assuredly _not_ Rei’s pillow. What the hell? Was he really _that_ happy about it?

Suddenly feeling wildly self-conscious, Rin pushed some of his hair behind his ear and glanced away. Thankfully Rei went back to doing the dishes, chatting cheerfully about his time at Haru’s place last night. Rin watched him work for a minute, a weird rush of affection taking hold of him. And somewhere along the way, “wildly self-conscious” turned into “weirdly exhilarated.” Which may have accounted for what he did next.

“Hey, Rei,” he blurted. “How’s your hand?”

“Hm?” Rei glanced up from the plate he was scrubbing, looking confused. “…Oh, that. It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. It really wasn’t a big deal. Actually, do you want me to finish cutting the apple? Or I could start a new one for you. The other one’s probably—”

“It’s ok,” Rin said. “Come over here.”

“Why? I just told you it’s fine. Do you really need to—”

“No, I believe you. Just… do me a favor and come over here for a sec.”

Rei rolled his eyes, but put down the plate and started walking over to where Rin was on the other side of the kitchen.

“Alright,” he said, once he was standing right in front of him. “What do you—”

He broke off as Rin wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in for a hug.

It was over quickly—Rei, who’d gone completely stiff, had barely decided where to settle his frantically fluttering hands before Rin released him. But it lasted long enough for Rin to discover that he wasn’t so much shorter than Rei that he couldn’t rest his head on his shoulder, and that Rei’s hands, once he finally _did_ settle them, were still wet from washing the dishes. They probably left prints on the back of Rin's shirt.

Once Rin let go, he stepped back, though not nearly as far away as should have. It was hard to tell where the heat from Rin’s blush ended and Rei’s began.

“W-what was that for?” Rei asked a little shakily. Rin took his time thinking about his answer.

“…For making breakfast,” he said finally, reaching out to fix Rei’s glasses, even though there was nothing _to_ fix.

“Oh…” Rei appeared to mull that over for a moment. “…Well… it’s just food. Nothing to get emotional about,” he said, gently pushing Rin further back. He turned and headed out of the room, dishes and apples apparently forgotten. “If you’re really grateful, then finish eating it,” he continued on his way to his bedroom. “I don’t want it to go to waste. And clean the rest of the kitchen. I’m very busy, you know, so I’d appreciate—” He walked into the doorframe, but managed to steady himself. “—I’d appreciate it if you… did that… for me.” He closed his door, but opened it a second later to add, “Please.”

Rin watched him go with a straight face. Ordinarily, he would have found it funny, but at the moment, his heart was still beating way too hard.

He wasn’t quite sure what possessed him. For right now, he was going to blame it on a lack of sleep. Although something told him that it really, really wasn’t it. He was certain he’d never felt more awake in his life. But still. Whatever was going on with his heart was nothing compared to the complete and utter mystery that was his roommate.

Without any conscious thought on Rin’s part, the memory of the conversation they’d had a few nights ago floated to the surface of his mind. Rin had admitted outright that Rei understood him. More than he wanted to be understood, really.  And he still stood by that. Rei did understand him.

But it was becoming clear that Rin sure as hell didn’t understand Rei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That Rin, smh. He's just not GETTING it. But omg they HUGGED. This fic is now rated G for GAY.
> 
> So yeah, sorry this chapter was a little rinrei lite. Sousuke kinda steamrolled everything. But I wanted to give Rin at least this tiny bit of closure before I ruin his life again. And idek what to say about Sousuke. I just prefer him when he's being mellowsuke. Probably went a few rounds with a stress coach or smth, and now he's okaysuke. And literally the only reason i decided he was gonna be a salaryman is because the thought of him wearing a suit and trying to smooth talk someone into buying an expensive car makes me laugh. 
> 
> But, y'all don't care about that. I know the real question on everyone's minds is: Did Rin seriously come thisclose to fantasizing about Rei holding him down with his body while Sousuke was right there in front of him?
> 
> The answer is yes. Yes he did.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and kudoing. And a HUGE thanks to everyone who's been commenting because that is the source of all my strength and will to go on, and i really, really appreciate it. 
> 
> Next time: all the stuff that didn't happen in this chapter


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin fails to find his footing. Rei sends some mixed signals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Two years later! Hoo boy, sorry about that. Basically, I had to get my life together, which involved transferring schools, changing majors, and getting a job, all wonderful, but very time consuming developments. However! I have not abandoned the faith! Free!! might be dying a slow (yet still pretty lucrative???) death, but rinrei remains alive and well in the hearts of those with good taste. I intend to see 100 Percent through until it's 100 Percent done (For right now, I should change the title to 70 Percent because that's about where it is in terms of done-ness). 
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who's left comments and messaged me throughout the last few years. You all have been such huge motivators and I appreciate it so, so much. Thanks for sticking around :')
> 
> Also, huge, huge thanks as always to [Makaria](http://makariaartsabout.tumblr.com) for being the most supportive, patient, and all around amazing beta. I'm extremely fortunate to have her.
> 
> And another huge thanks to the wonderful Kuma-tori for his top-notch artwork of good ol' [Iwashima.](http://kuma-tori.tumblr.com/post/162240012965/this-is-iwashima-gentlyusedsarcasms-oc-from-the) If anyone was wondering what Salt Incarnate looks like, this is it.
> 
> Now, without further ado, Chapter 10

 It had been exactly one week, four days, and fifteen hours since Rin had lest set foot in the water… Not that he was really keeping track.

Ten days, the doctor had told him. No swimming for ten whole days. It had seemed so completely beyond him at the time; swimming was practically hardwired into him, and the prospect of just up and yanking those wires out was almost as discomfiting as the near-miss injury that had landed him there in the first place. 

But the funny thing was, once those ten days were up, once Rin was _finally_ allowed to plug back in, he had found himself, of _all_ things… hesitant. That was probably the best word for it. Because it wasn’t like he was _scared_ or anything. Of course he wasn’t. But just the same, when day eleven crept up behind him and started breathing down his neck, it was the easiest thing in the world to just… do nothing. 

His back needed to be a sure thing. If he could be absolutely, one hundred percent certain, then one more day spent entirely on dry land was a small price to pay.

In other words, Rin assured himself, it was the mature, responsible thing to do. Which was why it was so odd that when Rei came home from class that Monday evening to find Rin in the exact same spot he’d occupied for the majority of break, he hadn’t exactly been supportive.

“I can certainly understand your reasoning,” he said after listening to Rin’s explanation. “But is that really necessary? You said yourself your back feels fine now. How likely is it that one extra day of lying around doing nothing is going to make a difference?”

“It… might,” Rin said with a noncommittal shrug. “I mean, it’s kind of hard to tell at this point since I can’t get any input from the doctor. I pretty much just have to do with my gut, you know?” 

“And your gut is telling you to stay home.”  Rin nodded and Rei raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I’m sorry, just to be clear—is your back still troubling you or not?” 

“Not,” Rin said truthfully. “But—” 

“Then why wait? If you’re physically ready, then you shouldn’t let any mental hang ups stop you from—” 

“There’s no mental hang up! That’s got nothing to do with it. I told you—it’s a gut-thing. Not a head-thing.” 

Rei mulled over this distinction with a slight frown. “Well, then, I must retract my earlier statement. I’m afraid I don’t understand your reasoning at all.”

“I can live with that,” Rin said with a dismissive wave. “Look, it’s just to be safe, all right? Obviously I’m not happy about it, but it’s only one more day. Shouldn’t set me back _too_  much… And what’s your problem, anyway?” he added crossly. “I haven’t just been ‘lying around doing nothing.’ For your information, I’ve been incredibly productive! There’s  _plenty_ I was able to do without leaving the apartment.”

“Like what? Work on your impression of a throw blanket?” Rei said. “Well, I suppose I’ll have to give you that one. You _have_ gotten quite good.”

“That’s not—!” Rin began indignantly, but then he took stock of his current position. He swung his legs off the arm of the couch and put his book down on the coffee table. “…the _only_ thing. I’ve been… you know.” He rubbed the back of his neck as Rei watched him expectantly. “… Introspecting?”

The noise Rei made in response to that was half snort, half scoff, and wholly uncalled for. He didn’t even say anything, just turned and headed for the kitchen, chuckling to himself. Rin sprang up and followed after him.

“Listen, you! Believe it or not, I’ve actually given this a lot of thought! I mean, for all we know, my entire swimming career could hinge on this one extra day.”

 “Or not,” Rei pointed out as he tore open a new bag of coffee filters—never mind that it was almost seven in the evening. Rin could sense that he was losing interest in the conversation, which only added fuel to his sudden burning desire to get a concession out of him.

 “Or not. But it really could go either way. And…” Rin thought for a moment. “… And with that being the _case_ , wouldn’t you agree that it’s infinitely more logical to extend my recovery period by a day than risk swimming with an injury that may not yet be fully healed, potentially causing myself irreparable damage in the process? I could be mistaken about my condition, of course, but given the inconvenient fact that we can’t know for certain without consulting a licensed medical professional… I think it’s probably for the best that I err on the side of caution,” he finished triumphantly. He was a little winded, but he still managed to flash a smile.

Rei’s mouth twitched, but otherwise he did his best to appear entirely unamused. “Don’t look so proud of yourself. That sounded nothing like me,” he said as he sidled past Rin to fill a measuring cup with water. “And for _your_ information, that isn’t erring on the side of caution. What you’re doing is called being _overly_ cautious.”

 “Yeah? Then what’s the problem?” Rin said. He crossed his arms and placed himself right between Rei and the coffee machine. “I kinda thought you were into that.”

 “But you aren’t.”

 Rin shrugged. “I... could be.” He dropped his gaze briefly and it landed on Rei’s coffee filter. “By the way—were you just not planning on sleeping tonight or what?”

 “Whatever gave you that idea?” Rei said blandly. He opened the cabinet above their heads and fished out the container of coffee. Rin made a swipe for it and missed as Rei stepped neatly around him. “Anyway, Rin-san, since there’s no _legitimate_ reason not to, I think you really ought to go back today. You’ll probably feel differently once you’re actually there.”

 Rin had no response to that, so he ignored it. He instead opted to stare incredulously as Rei busied himself with the coffee machine.

 Sure, he was used to Rei questioning his choices—hell, they’d known each other long enough now that it was practically clockwork. But this time… this time he thought he’d get Rei’s seal of approval for sure. He’d hit all the sweet spots, in any case: logic, safety, forbearance… So where was all of this opposition coming from? Did he really want Rin to go back that badly? Why did he even—Oh.

 Right. _That_.

 God, Rin really was an idiot. After all, Rei had been dropping hints like crazy. And it wasn’t like Rin couldn’t take a hint. He could! He _totally_ could.

 He took a deep breath.

 “Hey, Rei?” he said, and Rei, who was spooning coffee into the machine, paused to look at him. Rin kept his tone light, but there was a weight to his words—weight from hope that he was wrong and the knowledge that he probably wasn’t—as he continued, “If you want me to, you know, make myself scarce for a while… you can say so. And… I mean, I’m not just saying that. I know I haven’t been giving you a lot of space lately, so if you need some time to—”

 “I don’t,” Rei said, quickly returning his focus to the coffee.  “Of course I don’t. This is as much your home as it is mine. You have every right to spend as much or as little time here as you want. I’m merely suggesting you reevaluate the practicality of your decision to remain here on this particular evening. Whether I want you around or not has nothing to do with it.”

 “Look, I don’t want you to worry about… offending me, or whatever. I get it. This place is really small and I’ve been kind of a—”

 “That isn’t it,” Rei said firmly, finally looking back up. “I _promise_ that isn’t it. I just—it just seems like you’re procrastinating and—I think you should stop. Nothing good ever comes of putting things off. _Believe_ me.”

 Rin blinked at him and Rei flushed slightly, as though his own bluntness had taken him by surprise. Rin couldn’t help but wonder why. It wasn’t like Rei had never offered him an unwelcome opinion before now. Wasn't that kind of their thing?

 “It—it’s your choice, though,” Rei added, obviously flustered by Rin’s silent regard. “Do whatever you think is right. I didn’t mean to—Sorry, obviously I don’t think you’re going to—I mean, I wouldn’t want you to… That is, I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m trying to influence your—well, not _influence_ , since I am sort of trying to influence you, but… I certainly don’t want to… _dictate_ your actions, I… suppose might be a… better way to put it…but, uh…”

 He had clearly lost the map to his point somewhere, and it bothered Rin for reasons he couldn’t quite place. _It’s fine, I’m not mad,_ he wanted to say. _Why are you so nervous all of a sudden?_

 What he said instead was, “Filter’s full.”

 Rei’s eyes traveled down to where Rin was looking. “Oh,” he said, and he lowered the spoonful of coffee he’d been about to add.

 “It’s kinda late for that, isn’t it?” Rin said. He offered Rei a small smile and Rei hastily looked away and rubbed the back of his head.

 “It’s a… bad habit,” he admitted to the toaster oven. Rin’s smile grew against his will.

 “Well,” he said. He picked up the cup of water and held it out to Rei. “I can think of worse. As far as bad habits go.”

 “It’s not supposed to be a contest,” Rei mumbled. He took the measuring cup from Rin, but didn’t immediately go for the coffee maker. He’d finally given up avoiding eye contact and the look he was giving Rin now was somehow both challenging and resigned.

 “You leave me to mine, I’ll leave you to yours?” Rin said.

 “Do I have choice?”

 “Not really.”

 “Well then.” Rei broke his gaze and turned back to the coffee machine. He pressed a few buttons on its front panel and a moment later it whirred to life. “I hope you enjoy your television.”

 “Hope you enjoy your heart palpitations.”

 Rei shot him a dirty look over his shoulder as he hurried away. Rin watched him go, his smile slowly fading.

 Rei seemed… out of sorts. This wasn’t the first time Rin had noticed it.

It had started yesterday evening. Rei had recovered nicely from his late night at Haru’s place—and the undeniably _weird_ morning Rin and Sousuke had put him through—and had been his normal, agreeable self, if a bit quieter than usual. But then, around dinnertime, he seemed to draw into himself… and had yet to reemerge, apparently. It was strange…

 But then again, the origin of Rei’s shift in disposition wasn’t exactly a mystery, what with school starting back up this week. Anyone would be a little crabby if they had Rei’s course load to contend with after a long break. Rin knew he shouldn’t take it personally.

Besides. As per usual, there was a great deal of truth to what Rei had said. Rin’s gut had been telling him to wait until tomorrow, and Rin tended to trust his gut—but there was no denying that his gut was a notorious procrastinator.

So he decided to go to the gym as a compromise. To test the waters, so to speak… and maybe give Rei a little breathing room.

Besides, if Rin were being perfectly honest, even he wasn’t entirely sure what his problem was. He’d spent most of break chomping at the bit to get back into the water, and now that he was officially able to do so, all he could think about was delaying it. He had been planning to ride his post-Sousuke-reconciliation high all the way to pool, but no such luck. Which was…frustrating. It was like scaling one wall only to run headlong into another.

Geez… clearly all that ‘introspecting’ had done him _wonders_.

But maybe that was his problem, Rin mused later as he worked at a nice, easy pace on the rowing machine (so far, so good). Maybe what he really needed was to _stop_ thinking and just… do. Act. Get the hell over it.

Just when had he become so wishy-washy, anyway? He still had his goals, God damn it! All he needed now was to get his drive back. This whole ordeal—his back, Sousuke, _everything_ —was just a bump in the road. And now that it was safely in his rearview mirror, there was nothing left to do but throw himself back into the fray, ASAP.

Well. ASAP minus one day… But nevertheless! Rei was right: putting it off wasn’t going to do him a lick of good. Time hadn’t frozen just because he’d hit a rough patch. His life was moving forward, and Rin was ready— _finally_ ready—to catch up.

So the next evening, he made his return to practice.

And for all that he’d managed to pump himself up the night before as he completed a workout fit for an eighty-year-old, that fire died down considerably once he actually showed up at the natatorium.

It was... good to be back, Rin supposed as he set his things down in front of his locker. The room was abuzz with pre-practice ritual. All around him people were getting changed,  showering, stretching.  Rin made no move to follow suit. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked around the room.

Haru soon wandered in. He stifled a yawn as he passed Rin and put his bag down on the bench. “Hey.”

Rin glanced over at him distractedly. “Hey,” he said. “Did this place get retiled?”

Haru didn’t lift his head up from whatever he was doing on his phone. “No.”

Rin hummed doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Rin was about to ask if he was really, _really_ sure, but a group of his teammates ambushed him before he could. Rin dug out his old illness-excuse and gave it a quick polish as they welcomed him back with enthusiasm. By the time they’d finished chatting, the locker room was almost empty. Rin hadn’t even begun to unpack.

“You getting changed or not?” Haru asked. Rin started, then nodded and began to fiddle with the zipper of his sweatshirt. To his dismay, Haru sat down on the bench, apparently intending to wait for him. Rin grabbed a few things and went to rinse off in the showers, hoping Haru might be gone when he got back.

No such luck.

“You can go ahead if you want,” Rin told him as he dug around in his bag.

“I don’t mind waiting.”

“I might be a while.”

“Why?”

 _Because I was planning on hiding in the shower until the very last minute_ , Rin thought.

“I’m just… feeling a little out of it, still.”

Haru shrugged and glanced at the clock. “I’m not in any hurry.”

“Right…”

They fell silent. Haru returned his attention to some game on his phone and Rin continued to get ready.

“…I _swear_ something’s different about this place,” he blurted after a while.

“Maybe it’s you, Rin,” Haru said.

Rin fumbled his goggles and shot him a startled look. “Y-you think?”

“Yeah. You’re being more annoying than usual.”

Rin glared at him, but he did pick up his pace a little. Haru stood up to put his phone away. “I’m just saying. Have the walls always been _green_ and white?”

Haru shut his locker door and turned to him. “Rin. Do you know how long it would take to retile this place?”

“No. Do you?”

“…No. But it’s probably a lot longer than one week.”

 _One week, five days, and nineteen hours_ , Rin automatically corrected in his head. Then he winced.

That really was a long time. Too long. Way too long. Way, way too long. There was absolutely no way his times weren’t going to suck. His muscles had probably atrophied by now. And that wasn’t even factoring in his back, which could still be fucked up for all he knew. One week, five days, and nineteen hours was a long time, sure, but maybe it wasn’t long _enough_. Maybe it was—

 _Stop it_ , he told himself firmly, stowing his duffle in his locker and slamming the door shut.

It was one week, five days, and nineteen hours well spent. The most important thing was that he had patched things up with Sousuke. It had all been worth it just for that. As for his back… well. That was out of his hands, wasn’t it?

 _I’ve done everything I can_ , Rin thought, nodding to himself and trying to channel that zen-like attitude he had been admiring in Sousuke. Yes, indeed… Healed or not, it was all up to the gods now. Rin would accept whatever they put on his plate.

“Rin.”

…Speaking of which, when was the last time he’d visited a shrine? A year ago? Two years ago? No way… It hadn’t been _that_ long. He’d definitely gone for… New Year’s, was it? No, wait, he’d slept in and Gou ended up going without him…

“—eeding… _Rin_.”

Startled out of his thoughts, Rin glanced over at Haru.

“I said your lip’s bleeding.”

Rin released his bottom lip from between his teeth and ran his tongue over it.

…Oh. So it was. He hadn’t realized he’d been biting that hard.

"Sorry,” he said, stricken with a sudden, inexplicable need to apologize for something.

Haru gave him a weird look before bending down to pick up the goggles Rin had dropped earlier. He handed them back to him and leaned against the wall. They were both silent as Rin collected the towel he’d forgotten to take out of his bag before shutting it away in the locker.

Having officially run out of things to do, Rin swallowed down the reluctance that was doing its best to hijack his limbs and headed to the exit. Haru followed behind him.

“Rin.”

“Yeah?” Rin paused and looked back at him.  Haru didn’t say anything for a moment, just looked him up and down appraisingly. And then—

“Wait until the bleeding stop before you get in the water,” he said, and he pushed past Rin and held the door open for him.

Rin nodded and stepped outside, feeling marginally more screwed than he did moments before.

 

The thick scent of chlorine in the air calmed him almost like a drug, the effects immediate and potent.

There was a time not so long ago when Rin would have said he hated the initial, slap-in-the-face transition from air-conditioned locker room to sauna-like pool, but now... Now he knew he wouldn’t trade that daily assault of warm, humid air for anything.

Encouraged, the first thing Rin did was check in briefly with Coach Fujimiya… who was vexingly closed-lipped. He sent Rin off with a mere, “Welcome back, Matsuoka. Make sure you stretch.”

Rin’s guard went right back up and he took his time putting his towel and water bottle down on the bleachers. And once _that_ was over and done with, he continued to stall. In his defense, though, there were now some external forces coming into play here.

Iwashima was in Rin’s lane. Well, not like they were assigned or anything, but there was kind of a hierarchy, and Rin’s unofficial-official middle-right lane had been hard won.

He tried not to read too much into it. This was no reason to think Iwashima had beaten his times. After all… if he’d been bumped from the ICT, surely that would have been the first thing out his coach’s mouth… _right?_

 _Of course_ , Rin assured himself quickly. No news was good news, right? Wasn’t that a thing people said? So the fact that Coach Fujimiya hadn’t said anything probably meant he was in the clear. It wasn’t a big deal. Who cared if Iwashima was in his lane? Certainly not Rin. Well, discounting the tiny part of him that had already curled up into a ball, totally convinced he’d been usurped once and for all.

“Just share my lane.”

Haru had suddenly materialized at his side.  His offer took Rin by surprise, and it must have shown because Haru added, “Only during drills, though. If you wanna work on something other than free, you’ll have to move somewhere else.”

“What if I wanna work on backstroke?” Rin asked, half as a joke to calm his nerves and half out of genuine curiosity.

Haru actually took a moment to think it over. “I guess that’s fine. But no butterfly. Disturbs the water too much.”

As they headed over to Haru’s usual lane, Rin tried to recall the last time the two of them had shared. Must have been a while. After all, they couldn’t race each other if they were in the same lane.

…How long had it been since he’d raced Haru, anyway?

 _One week, five days, and nineteen hours_ , his brain supplied. Too long. Way, way too long.

“Hey…” he began tentatively as Haru slipped into the water.

“What? Are you getting in?”

“In a minute.” Rin stretched his arms over his head and then behind his back. “Were you here a lot during break?”

“Yeah,” said Haru.

He was about to push off the wall, but paused as Rin asked, “About how many hours would you say?”

“In all?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know. Around thirty maybe?” Haru said. And for the first time since he got here, Rin’s heart rate picked up and he began to feel something other than dread. He continued to stretch, however, and Haru made to swim off once more.

“So,” Rin said, stopping him in his tracks. “Do you think you’ve made any major improvements, or…?”

“I dropped three seconds off the 100m and 1.7 off the 200. As of last night, at least.” Haru didn’t sound particularly enthused, but that was fine; Rin was rapidly producing enough enthusiasm for both of them.

Three seconds, huh? He wanted to see that for himself.

“Will you race me?” he asked eagerly, and Haru—foiled again—let go of the wall and glared up at him. “After drills are over? Right after?”

“If you stop talking to me and get into the water _right_ _now_ , then maybe I’ll consider it.”

“Done,” Rin said. He gave both his quads a quick stretch and hopped into the water without further ado. And though he would later vehemently deny that such a saccharine thought ever entered his head, at that moment it truly felt like coming home.

Like everything was going to be OK now that he was back where he belonged. And at the sound of the whistle signaling the start of warm up a few minutes later, Rin took off, leaving all thoughts of Iwashima, the ICT, and his back in the dust. All that mattered now was the other end of the lane and how fast he could get there.

Before Rin realized it, he was in the middle of a flip turn and pushing off the wall. And then he was halfway back up the lane. It would be over soon, but it didn’t feel like enough. No way was Rin ready to stop, not when he’d only just started again. So he transitioned into another flip turn and surged forward once more, vaguely aware of brushing past Haru, who was coming from the opposite direction.

Once he completed 200 meters, Rin smacked the wall and ripped off his goggles with a delighted laugh, barely winded and completely exhilarated.

At least until he looked around and realized that literally _everyone_ _else_ had finished before him. They were all staring at him—his teammates, Haru. Even the coach and assistant coach, way over on the other side of the room.

Rin’s elation at being back in the water dried up instantly and was replaced by nothing short of panic. Shit, so he _had_ slowed down. He’d slowed _way, way do—_

“Showoff!” someone called out. Rin didn’t know who or why. But it broke the tension at least. A few people laughed and soon he could feel the attention shift off of him as everyone prepared for the backstroke set. Still not getting it, Rin looked to Haru for an explanation.

“Why’d you keep going?” Haru asked.  “Warm up’s always a hundred. Did you really forget that after only a week?”

“No, I… just wasn’t thinking,” Rin said. And that was when his brain, which he’d ditched some 75 meters back, finally caught up with him. Rin blushed hard and sunk down a bit in the water, trying to make himself inconspicuous as some of his teammates in the neighboring lanes sent a few good-natured jibes his way.

“You’re being weird today,” Haru said, shunting him aside and gripping the bars on the starting block. Rin couldn’t exactly argue with him.

But as he lifted himself out of the water to wait his turn, he caught sight of the two coaches. They were standing close together, apparently deep in discussion. Coach Fujimiya was shielding his mouth with clipboard, and both of them had their eyes trained on Rin with what could be described as keen interest.

…That was probably another thing he shouldn’t read too much into, Rin decided. Easier said than done, though. He had a hard time keeping his grin in check from that point on.

 

* * *

 

By the time practice drew to a close, Rin had beat each of his previous butterfly times—the ones recorded right before the trouble with his back began. Not only that, but he’d also managed to get the better of Haru in the 200 freestyle. And it wasn’t a fluke! Rin had made sure of that, forcing Haru to redo that particular race no fewer than three times throughout the course of the evening. He would have gone for a fourth if Haru hadn’t looked ready to slug him the second he opened his mouth.

It was a better comeback than he’d ever dared hope for. And while Rin knew it was due to his muscles going a little loose from all the lazing around he’d done, he was certain that it was as much a result of his new and improved emotional state. For the past month or so, it was as though his problem with Sousuke had been a lead weight attached to his ankle, slowly but surely dragging him down. But now that the issue had been resolved, there was nothing to stop him for reaching his full potential.

“Looks like I was right,” was all Coach Fujimiya had to say about it. But he was looking more pleased than Rin had ever seen him.

Certain now that his spot in the ICT was safe and sound, Rin vowed to redouble his efforts. He’d wasted a lot of time, and getting there was only half the battle. Now he needed to follow through and make sure he actually placed at the damn thing.

And, okay, given the circumstances, he probably should have taken it a bit easier—held back just a _little_. But Rin was feeling better than he had in ages. He’d always thrived on routine, so it was nice to have that back, but more importantly, he was having _fun_. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been able to say that. Lately it had seemed like all swimming was to him was a source of constant, inescapable stress, something more akin to drowning. But now… now he could suddenly float again.

By the time practice winded down, Rin was in a near euphoric state. Twice he tried to hoist himself out of the pool only to fall back into the water, laughing. The combination of endorphins and exhaustion had left his body with all the structural integrity of a tower of Jell-O.

“Just use the ladder,” Haru said as he lifted himself onto the ledge with ease. “You’re acting like a kid.”

The pool had mostly cleared out at this point and the water was peaceful. There were just a few people left toweling off the by the bleachers, and Mikoshiba, already dressed, emerged from the locker room to tell them to hurry it up so he could start on inventory.

Rin pretended not to hear him and continued floating on his back. The group of stragglers paused on their way out to watch him.

“You all right there, Matsuoka?" said Mikoshiba. “It’s closing time.”

“He won’t get out,” Haru informed him.

“I’m just cooling down,” Rin said, his eyes drifting blissfully shut. “It’s important to do it properly. You shouldn’t rush me.”

“Ooh, I get it…” he heard Mikoshiba say. “He’s got that runner’s high thing going on. Neat.”

“Lucky…” said a first year, looking on in apparent awe. One of Rin’s friend’s, a second year named Kuga, sighed noisily.

“Come on, Matsuoka,” he said. “Just admit you spent your break overseas at some top-secret, military-run training camp.”

“Ha, I wish. I told you, I was sick.”

“All right, fine, you were sick,” said another second year, Serizawa. “Two questions, then: what the hell kind of miracle bug did you catch and are you still contagious?”

Rin laughed and began to drift away, thoroughly enjoying the sound of his teammates’ persistent speculation as they continued on to the locker room and disappeared inside.

He had been getting comments like that all night, ranging from incredulous to admiring to downright envious, and he couldn’t help but find it funny. Surprisingly, the person Rin had expected to make the biggest fuss hadn’t said a word to him.

He’d made eye contact with Iwashima a few times that night and had even tried seeking him out during the mid-practice break, but for some reason, Iwashima seemed hell-bent on avoiding him. Rin was actually a little disappointed.

Since Iwashima refused to talk to him, Rin had asked around and found out that Iwashima’s times had improved considerably. He hadn’t beaten any of Rin’s, but they were in the same bracket now.  Additionally, Himura, newly returned from his leave of absence, wasn’t quite up to snuff yet, leaving Iwashima’s title as the team’s best backstroke swimmer untouched.

So in the end, he managed to wrangle himself his own ticket to Paris. And Rin honestly didn’t begrudge it to him.

In fact, he was almost happy for him. Iwashima had earned it, after all. He’d worked hard.  And now that he was back on form, Rin found himself getting more and more excited about the prospect of having a genuine rival. Up until now, Rin had only ever been driven by admiration and a desire to emulate whoever it was that had inspired it in him.  What it was like, wanting to beat someone just for the sake of beating them, fueled by nothing other than pride and antipathy?

Different, probably. But he could also see it being really, _really_ satisfying…

“That,” Mikoshiba observed from the side of the pool, “is a truly sickening smile on your face. What in the world are you thinking about?”

“Iwashima,” Rin said dreamily. He opened his eyes in time to see Mikoshiba’s eyebrows practically shoot to his hairline.

“ _Really._ ”

Rin gripped the edge of the pool and looked eagerly up at him. “I was wondering what he got up to while I was gone. I mean, I heard he improved, but I didn’t get a chance to do anything one-on-one with him today ‘cause he kept avoiding me. Actually, do you know anything about that? Like, did he mention me at all? Do you think he noticed how fast I was? Do you think he’s mad?”

Mikoshiba shrugged. “Well. Yeah. I guess you could say that. I mean, last I saw, he was trying to convince everyone you’ve been doping, so…” He brought a hand up to scratch the back of his head and glanced over at the locker room door before looking back down at Rin. “Uh. You’re not, right?”

Rin snorted, distantly aware that there wasn’t anything funny about that, yet unable to prevent himself from falling victim to another laughing fit. It seemed to be all he was capable of right now, as light and airy as he felt.

“Guess I’ll take your word for it.” Mikoshiba rolled his eyes, but his mouth twitched in what was clearly an attempt to hold back his own laughter. He crossed his arms and turned to Haru. “Listen, he’s gonna crash any minute now,” he said, gesturing down at Rin. “Could you do me a favor and sure he gets home  in one piece? I’ve gotta stick around for my paper pusher gig.”

Haru nodded, and Mikoshiba smiled gratefully at him. Once he disappeared into the supply room, Haru looked back down at Rin. “Are you ready to go?”

Still chuckling to himself, Rin shook his head. On the contrary—despite Mikoshiba’s warning, he was more than content to stay. “Not yet. Give me a little while longer.”

“Rin…”

“Just a few more minutes,” Rin said, resting his arms comfortably on the ledge and looking up at Haru. “Can you believe that Iwashima? Just doesn’t know when to quit, does he? Is it weird that I’m actually kind of flattered?”

“Rin—”

“I mean, he’s a world class prick, for sure, but it’s hard to stay mad at someone who’s putting that much effort into—

“ _Rin_ ,” Haru said again.

“Yeah?”

“This past week. You… weren’t actually sick,” Haru said—hesitantly, like he was worried he might be wrong, “Were you?”

Rin stared at him, momentarily nonplussed. “What makes you say that?” he asked, his tone just as cautious.

“Just a feeling.” Haru shrugged. He was silent for a few moments before adding, “Last year, you had an ear infection… stomach flu, and… strep throat, I think? And all those times, you still showed up to practice, even if Coach ended up sending you home. So this time… I figured it must be something else.”

“Oh…” Rin said, surprised—and admittedly a little pleased—that Haru had put that much thought into it. “You’re… well, you’re not wrong. I wasn’t sick, exactly. I just… I sort of needed a break?”

Haru nodded and didn’t press him for details—which Rin appreciated. “You all right?” he asked instead.

“Yeah,” Rin replied, more relieved than words could describe that he was, for once, being completely truthful. “I am now.”

Haru nodded again, apparently satisfied. He looked a little somber, though, so Rin grinned at him.

“Wanna go one more round?”

Haru hesitated, clearly tempted. But then he shook his head. “I would, but I have to get back. Got a project due tomorrow.”

“Oh. Well, suit yourself,” Rin said, a tad disappointed. He started to swim away, but Haru snagged him by the goggles hanging around his neck.

“You too.”

“What? No way! I already finished _my_ homework!”

“Mikoshiba told me to take you home.”

“Haru, I’m pretty sure he was kidding. What am I, five? Lemme go!”

But Haru was resolute, and after a short struggle, Rin was forced to give in. Though it was mostly due to the fatigue that was, as Mikoshiba had predicted, finally settling into his bones. He was beginning to feel a little less floaty and a lot more sluggish.

By the time the two of them left the locker room, Rin had come down _hard_. He could barely keep his eyes open during the walk back to his building, and Haru was forced to drag him by the arm for the last block to ensure that he didn’t keep swaying into trashcans and lampposts. Rin could do little else but giggle weakly and allow himself to be dragged, still a little too giddy and much, much too tired to muster up any indignation at having to be escorted home.

When they arrived at Rin’s apartment, Haru marched him right downstairs. He let go of Rin to open the door and Rin collapsed against the nearest wall, fully prepared to fall asleep right then and there.

“Where’s your key,” Haru asked. Rin mumbled an indistinct reply and he heard Haru sigh. “Guess Rei can just let you in.”

Rin’s eyes flew wide open. He’d completely forgotten about Rei.

“No, wait, I’ll get my key!”

But he was too slow, exhaustion causing his every movement to lag far behind his suddenly racing thoughts. Haru knocked and Rin winced. Rei could only be sleeping or studying right about now, and Rin had no desire to interrupt him in the middle of either. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see Rei—quite the opposite, really. He just wasn’t so sure Rei wanted to see _him_.

It took only a few moments for Rei to open the door, and Rin took miniscule comfort in the fact that this meant they probably hadn’t woken him up.

“Haruka-senpai? What are you—”

Before Rin could do anything, Haru hauled him away from the wall and gave him a firm shove between the shoulder blades. Rin stumbled over the threshold and his legs, which had been threatening to give out on him since he’d left the pool, chose that moment to make good on it. He pitched face-first into Rei’s chest.

Rei’s arms automatically wrapped around his waist, preventing him from slumping all the way onto the floor, and Rin brought his hands up to grip the front of Rei’s shirt for dear life.

“Rin-san!?” Rei sounded alarmed, but Rin was a little too busy clawing his way to a more upright position to offer any sort of reassurance. “Is he _drunk_?”

“Nah,” Haru said. “Idiot burned himself out at practice, that’s all. You can just drop him. He should be fine once he sleeps it off… Presumably.” Rin steadied himself in time to see Haru give him a disparaging look. “Either way, he’s your problem now.”

“Thanks a lot,” Rin said sarcastically. Haru was already turning away.

“Have a good night,” he said, and he pulled the door shut behind him.

For a moment or two, Rin and Rei did nothing but stare—Rei at the door, and Rin at Rei. He stayed completely still and silent, wondering how long it would take for Rei to realize that he was still supporting most of his bodyweight.

…Not very long, it turned out. And the second he felt Rei stiffen, Rin let go of his shirt and stepped back. It wouldn’t do to linger; he could already sense the awkwardness wedging itself between them, and Rin was determined to outrun it, just this _once_. Rei let him go without a word.

His wobbly legs carried him over to the couch more out of habit than anything else, and Rin collapsed onto it, letting out a loud, very meaningful sigh—exhausted, relieved, and a little bit frustrated, all at once. He glanced over at Rei, still standing by the door. He didn’t seem put out. Just… wary. Which really wasn’t much better.

Rin scrubbed a hand over his eyes and wracked his brain for something to say. “…Uh, so—”

“Are you all right?” Rei asked. He took a step forward, but was blocked by Rin’s duffel, which he’d dropped on his way to the couch. He picked it up and continued, “I’m not really sure what Haruka-senpai meant, but you do seem like you’re—”

“I’m not, don’t worry!” Rin said quickly. And now Rei just looked confused. “I, uh. Sorry—I just meant I’m not… whatever you were about to say. I—I’m all right.”

“Are you really?” Rei set the duffle down on the couch beside Rin and moved to stand in front of him, with the coffee table between them. He crossed his arms and continued looking at Rin expectantly. Rin fought hard against the urge to squirm, and it took him longer than it should have to realize that Rei was probably waiting to be brought up to speed.

“…Oh, right! My back was…” He hesitated, torn between wanting to deliver good news and not wanting to jinx himself in the process. “…Well, it wasn’t an issue. I’ll leave it at that.”

“I see. So practice was…?”

“Good! It was really… really good.”

Rei tilted his head and Rin was suddenly aware that he probably wasn’t cutting the most triumphant figure, all draped over the couch like… well, like a throw blanket. So he straightened up as much as his tired, boneless body would allow and added, “Better than good, actually. I, uh… I might have gotten a little carried away.”

“A little,” Rei repeated. Rin grimaced.

“Well. Maybe a _little_ more than that. But it’s not like I could help it—” Rei raised an eyebrow at that, and Rin had to laugh in spite of himself. “Ok, ok—I _probably_ could have helped it. I just didn’t want to.”

“That sounds more like it.” Finally, _finally,_ Rei seemed to relax—he even cracked a smile. It was fleeting, however.

“…What’s up?” Rin prompted, his own smile fading.

“Nothing. I’m glad you’re feeling better…”

“But...?”

“That’s it,” Rei said. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked away. It was easy enough for Rin to guess what was on his mind.

“You can say it, you know.”

Rei shook his head. “No, I—Sorry… I’ve been trying to remind myself that it’s not really my place to—”

“Don’t worry about it—”

“—worry about you. I know you don’t like it.”

“Yeah, well... Let me be the judge of that. Go on.”

Rei sighed. “Very well… Rin-san, will you please be careful?”

“I will. I promise,” Rin said quickly, attempting to head off that small, stupid, proud part of him that always seemed to flare up whenever anyone tried to express concern for him.   _I won’t put you through that again,_ he wanted to add. But he couldn’t quite muster up the grit. “Um… thanks.”

Rei seemed to misinterpret the look on his face, and he grimaced. “That bothered you, didn’t it?”

“Not at all,” Rin assured him. He tried to school his features. “I mean—it was fine… I said thanks, didn’t I?”

Rei nodded and attempted another smile. Rin appreciated the effort, but… it honestly just made him look even more uncomfortable than he did already.

“...So,” Rei said. “You must be happy to be back.”

“I…yeah…” Rin began slowly. He picked at a loose thread on the arm of the couch and chewed his lip a bit before remembering that he’d already reached his quota of puncture wounds for the night. “I definitely am,” he continued, looking back up at Rei.  “For sure, but… at the same time, I think… I actually think I really needed this, you know? I mean—not the back strain, obviously, but… the distance… Or something.”

Rin was having trouble putting it into words, but Rei nodded like he understood anyway. And maybe he did. Rin certainly wouldn’t put it past him, and he felt a bit foolish for trying so hard in the first place.

He swung his legs up onto the couch and flopped into a more comfortable, if decidedly inelegant, position.  “Anyway, sorry about Haru. You weren’t asleep, were you?”

Rei shook his head. “No, I was up.”

Rin winced sympathetically. “Right. How’s the homework situ—”

“Are you hungry? There should be something leftover…”

“Oh… no,” Rin replied, a little thrown. “I’m fine. I’ll probably just go to bed.”

“I’ll say goodnight then.”

Rin could only watch helplessly as Rei took off. He locked the door then flitted over to the kitchen. One-by-one, he turned out all the lights in the apartment, until all that was left was the lamp beside the couch.

“Do you want this on or off?” Rei asked, reaching out for the switch.

Rin couldn’t have cared less. “On.”

Rei began to lower his arm, and Rin reached for his sleeve before he could stop and think about what he was doing. “Hey, do you wanna—”

 _Do you wanna hang out for a while_ … was what he was pretty sure he wanted to say. He managed to hit the brakes just in time.

“Rin-san?”

Rin shook his head. “Uh. Nothing. I just… I changed my mind about the light. D-do you wanna turn it off?”

“Sure.”

Rin let go of him and everything went dark except for the wedge of light coming from Rei’s room.

“Well,” Rei said. “Goodnight.

“Yeah,” Rin said. “Night.”

He held his breath until Rei’s door was shut. And the second it was, he flipped himself over, stuffed his face into the couch cushion, and _moaned_.

Damn it. Damn it, damn it, _damn_ _it_. That had gone even worse than he’d expected. Rin was sure now that he wasn’t just imagining it: Rei was _off_. Or Rin was off. Or maybe it was both of them—it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that ever since Sousuke left, _something_ between them had changed.

Look, the thing was, it had been _nice. Nice, ok?_ —Rin could admit it! Hell, he’d shout from the rooftops if he thought it’d make any difference. It had just been really, _really_ _nice_ having Rei’s company those ten days. Lazing around on the couch beside him, sharing almost every meal with him, defending his taste in television to him…

It was the most time they’d spent together in what felt like forever, and Rin was a little startled to realize just how much he’d enjoyed it. He’d even go so far as to say he’d come to rely on it. Rei’s consistent presence at his side was one of the few highlights of what had otherwise been a miserable stretch of time.

He’d… probably gotten a little greedy, though. Obviously it couldn’t have lasted forever. Rin owned a calendar, he’d known school was on the horizon. And it wasn’t like there weren’t things he needed—and wanted—to get back to.

But still. He hadn’t been prepared for this cold-turkey business. And maybe it was the withdrawal making him overly sensitive, but he just couldn’t shake the feeling that Rei was trying to distance himself. He wasn’t being… cold, exactly. Just decidedly _lukewarm_.

Well… maybe it had always been like this and Rin never noticed—or just never cared…

But he knew in his heart that wasn’t true—on either count.

Even when Rei was at his busiest, he always made a point of being around when Rin needed—or wanted—him. And… that was still technically true. The fact that he hadn’t broken his nose courtesy of Haru’s TLC earlier was proof enough of that. But at the same time… there was just this air of unavailability about him. As though he didn’t want to be bothered. He was _physically_ present, yes, but it felt like every time they talked now, Rei was itching to get away.

 _Just give it some time_ … _It probably has nothing to do with you._

That was what he told himself as he lay in bed a little while later. And he almost believed it, too. That calm, rational part of his brain had been seeing a bit more action lately. Problem was, his train of thought was still treating it more like a pit stop than anything else, pausing there only briefly before chugging full speed ahead toward the familiar junction of _What did I do wrong?_ and _How can I fix it_?

It was a circular track, one Rin had ridden plenty of times before. It had practically become a nightly routine.

And didn’t Rin just _thrive_ on routine.

 

* * *

 

The next week passed quickly and productively. As far as swimming and school went, that is.

As far as the _Rei_ issue went… well, Rin was pretty much just spinning his wheels.

They didn’t see each other much, their schedules being what they were. When they did cross paths, it was usually the result of extensive strategic maneuvering on Rin’s part—a shortcut to class here, a surprise ambush in the kitchen there—and only served to reinforce the wall that had so suddenly sprung up between them, built on a foundation of courteous indifference (Rei) and apologetic confusion (Rin).

In other words, it was awkward.

And as much as Rin would have liked to resolve this latest conundrum, there was only so much time and energy he could devote to worrying about it at the moment. Especially since he wasn’t totally convinced it wasn’t all in his head.

Luckily, in spite of everything, Rin’s improved outlook—swimming-wise, at least—managed to remain intact, and, more importantly, his times at practice the next evening held up, and continued to do so through the next week. So that was something.

Since they would be leaving for France the next day, practice was cut short Wednesday evening and there was a brief informational meeting for those who would be going on the trip.

The itinerary was grueling, the competition formidable, and any chance of sleep unlikely. Nevertheless, Rin was raring to go.

His first international tournament… He’d been waiting a long time for this. And he was sure he was ready. The key was not to be overly confident—and no danger there; this last month had kicked his confidence right in the kneecaps. No, Rin was _well_ aware that he wasn’t the best swimmer out there… But he was optimistic that he was at _least_ in the top ten.

By the time Coach Fujimiya dismissed them—with orders to report to the sports complex parking lot at 10 p.m. sharp the next evening to leave for the airport—Rin was practically vibrating with excitement. In fact, he was in such a good mood that even the prospect of returning to his apartment almost two hours earlier than usual and having to tiptoe around his infuriatingly enigmatic roommate wasn’t enough to bring him down.

Or at least not all the way down… He _may_ have ended up taking the long way home.

But as it turned out, he needn’t have bothered.

When Rin arrived downstairs, fully prepared for a night of being politely ignored, he was greeted by the sight of Kisumi sitting slumped against the door to the apartment, apparently fast asleep.

“Hey.” Rin nudged him with a foot. It took a few tries before Kisumi blearily blinked awake.

“…Oh. Welcome back,” he said once he noticed Rin staring down at him. “Help me up, would you? I can’t feel my legs.”

Rin leaned down and pulled him to his feet. “How long have you been sitting out here?”

“I don’t know… An hour or two.” Kisumi let out a sigh and rubbed his eyes, still looking a little disoriented.

Rin unlocked the door and ushered him inside. “What are you doing here, any—wait.” He stopped short and Kisumi bumped into him. “Is Rei not here?”

“Well, if he is, he didn’t hear me knock,” Kisumi replied. He worked his way past Rin and headed straight for the kitchen. “Or he took a page outta Haru’s book and ignored me. You mind if I eat something? I’m starving.”

That was odd. Rei usually got home around five on Wednesday nights. It was almost eight right now.

Rin frowned and followed Kisumi into the kitchen, where he’d begun rummaging through the cabinets. Rin took a seat at the table. “Sorry, _what_ did you say you were doing here?”

“Well, you see, the thing is…” Kisumi threw open another cabinet and finally seemed to find what he was looking for. He grabbed an unopened box of Rin’s cereal and joined him at the table. “My roommate’s girlfriend is over.”

“Ah.” Rin nodded sympathetically. “He kicked you out, huh?”

“Ha! I— _wish_ ,” Kisumi grunted, tearing open the plastic cereal bag with an excessive amount of force. Pieces of cereal exploded out of it and scattered across the table and onto floor. “He didn’t even bother to tell me. You know how I found out?”

Rin shook his head. “Uh, do you mind—”

“I walked in on them,” Kisumi said, “in the _kitchen_. The kitchen! Do you know how _unpleasant_ that was? I just came out of my room for a bowl of cereal, and there they were, all pressed up against the pantry, just— _going_ at it!” He broke off and shoved some cereal into his mouth. “I’m gonna have to spend my next twenty paychecks on disinfectant! Or maybe lighter fluid, because I’m honestly tempted to just burn the place down!” he added through a mouthful of shredded wheat. “I mean, who _knows_ what other surfaces they’ve defiled?!”

“Don’t choke,” Rin pleaded, tugging the box out his hand. “Look, are you sure they really went that far? Maybe they were just—”

Kisumi shook his head, looking grim. “You weren’t there, Rin. I saw everything. _Everything_. The guy has no concept of boundaries—or, you know, _foreplay_ , apparently. And you know what else? This isn’t even the first time something like this has happened. Like, there was the time last month when I was trying to take a bath, and all of a sudden freaking _Keiji’s_ there with what’s-her-name— _not_ the same girl, mind you, which is just this _whole_ _other_ _issue_ and they were like…”

For the next hour or so, Kisumi sat there at the table, venting about everything from his roommate (he hated him) and his basketball teammates (they hated him) to his coworkers (they hated each other) and his family (he missed them).  

Rin tried his best to cheer him up, but aside from surrendering his cereal and making tea, there wasn’t much he could do. Luckily, it seemed like all Kisumi really wanted was for someone to listen to him.

So Rin stayed quiet and let him talk, glad that he could be of service. He realized now that he’d probably been neglecting his friends the last few weeks and vowed to be more attentive in the future. It so was easy for him to forget that he wasn’t the only person in the world with problems.

“...Anyway,” Kisumi said eventually, winding down. He’d just finished one last story about his roommate’s numerous—and apparently very visible—trysts. “I guess I just don’t _get_ it. He’s not even that attractive. Like, what the hell are all of these older women seeing in a gross lit major who gets off on being walked in on?” He tossed back the remainder of his tea and slammed the cup on the table. “Here’s a roommate tip for you, Rin—Next time you’re planning on having sex, maybe check to make sure there isn’t an extra person in the room.”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind,” Rin said.

“Well. I’m sure you don’t need _me_ to tell you that. You and Rei are probably a little more considerate of each other, huh?”

“Actually, it hasn’t really come up.”

“Oh no? So what, do you guys have some kind of protocol? Like ‘leave a sock on the door’ or whatever?”

“What? No! God, no—Nothing like that. I can’t even imagine how that conversation would go. He’d probably have a stroke…. No, I just meant it’s never even been an issue in the first place.”

“Oh. I see…” Kisumi said, nodding slowly. “Yeah… I guess that makes sense. It _wouldn’t_ really be an issue with you guys, huh?”

“Not so far.”

“Must be nice… not having to share, I mean.”

Rin frowned. Because the honest response to that was _yes_.

“It’s…well, it’s… I mean… hell, I’ve never really thought of it like that before, but… yeah? I guess? I mean… I’d probably be lying if I said it _wasn’t_ nice having him all to myself most of the time, so…” He gave a halfhearted shrug. “I don’t know, though. I mean I don’t wanna believe I’m actually that selfish, but… I guess that’s probably proof enough, huh?”

“Well, I was actually talking about… not having to share your _apartment_ , so…”

“Oh! Oh, yeah—I knew that. So was I.”

Kisumi gave him a funny sort of half-smile before lapsing into a thoughtful silence. Meanwhile, Rin tried to come up with something a little more helpful to say. He certainly felt for Kisumi, but he couldn’t relate. As stressful as they were, his own roommate troubles tended to be a bit more… low-key. In fact, Rin was beginning to consider himself rather lucky.

He debated over whether or not he should tell Kisumi what was going on with Rei, but before he could make up his mind, Kisumi suddenly emerged from his reverie to wonder aloud, “…Why _isn’t_ it, though?”

“Why isn’t it what?”

“An issue.”

“What do you—?”

“What you were saying before.” Kisumi waved a hand.

“Oh… What, you mean like… why aren’t Rei and I having people over?”

Kisumi nodded vehemently. “Yeah! That!”

“Well, I don’t really… I mean. It’s a _really_ small apartment, you know?”

“Ugh, don’t be _coy_ ,” Kisumi said with a roll of his eyes. “That’s disgusting. You know what I mean.”

Rin stared at him—did nothing _but_ stare at him for a good, long while. Stared _hard_.

“…What?”

“Nothing…” Rin said. “Just wondering why everyone’s suddenly so interested in all the sex I’m not having. That’s all.”

“ _Are_ they?”  Kisumi widened his eyes and Rin bristled. Just who the hell was being coy _now_? “Do tell.”

“I mean, let’s see… There’s this asshole on the team who’s been giving me a hard time…” Rin began counting them off on his fingers. “…And Sousuke was asking questions earlier, and now _you_...” He glared at Kisumi, who quickly averted his eyes. “What gives? Is it really that weird that I’m not dating anyone?”

“No!” Kisumi cried, a little too fervent to be convincing. Rin raised an eyebrow, and he added, “I mean… it’s not _weird_ , so much as… surprising, I guess?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, really.” Kisumi shrugged. “It’s just that we—Sousuke and I—we always thought that you’d be the first one of us in a relationship.”

“How is that my problem? You guys decided that by yourselves.”

“I guess, but…can you really blame us? You’re the rom-com junkie here. And I swear you used to look forward to Valentine’s Day more than your own birthday.”

“And it never occurred to you that I might have grown out of that?” Rin said, and Kisumi looked so crestfallen at the very idea that he couldn’t help laughing. “God, you guys are too much! I mean, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t even watch those shows anymore.”

It was Kisumi’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Didn’t you spend the entire break watching out-of-order reruns of _Time-Locked Love?_ ”

Rin stopped laughing and cursed himself for letting that fact slip the last time they talked. “…That’s irrelevant.”

“Fine. But that still doesn’t change the fact that you should have been riding off into the sunset by now—”

“Says _who_?”

“—and yet, _here_ you are, eating cereal in the semi-darkness of your shoebox apartment at 10 o’clock at night! So I guess what _I’m_ just wondering is what the hell went _wrong_?!” Kisumi broke off, glaring at Rin like he’d insulted his mother.

Rin didn’t really know how he was supposed to respond to that.

“…You’re the one who got the cereal out,” he said after a long moment. Kisumi blinked at him a few times.

“I—I did. I did do that,” he said, bowing his head. “…Sorry.”

“Don’t you think you’re being unfair? I am a little _busy_ at the moment, you know, and even if I wasn’t, I mean, it’s not like Wednesday night is exactly the best time to—”

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry. Just forget I said anything.” Kisumi slumped forward onto the table and hid his face in arms.

“…Do you and Sousuke have a bet going or something?” Rin asked after a moment, eyeing Kisumi’s prone form with concern. That might explain why he was so worked up. Sousuke could be a real monster when it came to making bets, especially if there was actual money involved. “Honestly, you should know better than—”

“That’s not it.” Kisumi finally raised his head. “God, how tacky would that be? Gimme a little credit.”

“Well, what else am I supposed to—”

“That I’m incapable of minding my own business,” Kisumi said with a note of finality. He smiled sadly at Rin. “This is just me being nosy. Sorry. I… it’s just that things aren’t going so well for me in that particular area right now. So I guess I was kind of hoping it might be different on your end. I mean… I’d like for at least _one_ of us to have some success.”

“Yeah _,_ well, ” Rin began tersely. But as much as he wanted to hang on to his irritation and wring it out a bit more, he could already feel it slipping away. “…Sorry. To disappoint, I mean. Believe me, I’m not doing it on purpose…"

“Aw, don’t be sorry. I’ll get over it.” Kisumi waved his apology away. He straightened up and schooled his features into something akin to his usual good humor. There was still a dejected slump to his shoulders, but Rin figured he was supposed to ignore that. “You’re just not in any hurry, right?”

Rin nodded. Well, that was part of it, at least, he thought. It wasn’t like it was a race, after all… Although, thinking about it in those terms, Rin supposed he might be a little miffed if, say… _Haru_ started seeing someone before he did… Though given the fact that Kisumi was Haru’s only suitor at the moment, there probably wasn’t much danger of that happening any time soon.

It was with no small amount of guilt that that thought went through his head, and Rin immediately wished he could send it back the way it came.

“That’s good,” Kisumi said. “That you’re taking your time, I mean. I’m actually starting to think that’s the way to go. I… I tend to rush things, see, and usually that works for me, but lately it’s been kind of… _detrimental_ … I guess.”

“Uh, listen, Kisumi,” Rin began awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “The thing you’ve gotta understand about Haru is that he’s always been a little—”

“Oh, yeah!” Kisumi interrupted loudly. His entire body had gone almost rigid with what Rin instantly recognized as wholehearted objection to the turn the conversation had suddenly taken. It was a sensation Rin was well acquainted with, which was probably why he wasn’t surprised when the next words out of Kisumi’s mouth were, “What about Rei, then? Do you know if there’s anyone he’s interested in?”

Well. At least not _that_ surprised.

“Um. Well, I—”

At that moment, the door to the apartment swung open, and in walked Rei, a good three hours late and looking just as he always did—that is to say, very, very _tired_.

“…I guess you can ask him yourself,” Rin finished. He cleared his throat, and, in a louder voice, addressed Rei. “Hey.”

Rei, who hadn’t noticed the two of them sitting in the kitchen, started slightly and nearly dropped the stack of mail of he’d been flipping through. “…Oh,” he said. “Hello.”

“Hi!” Kisumi waved at him and Rei hesitated just a moment before coming to join them in the kitchen. He pulled a chair out from the table and Rin was a little disappointed, though not exactly surprised, when he placed his backpack on it instead of taking a seat himself.

“What are you doing back so late?”

“Nothing. My lab just ran a little long.” Rei barely spared him a glance. He walked over to the cabinet above the microwave and began searching through it.

“Oh. Right. Your lab,” Rin said. “Uh. Which one was that, again?”

“Chemistry,” Rei replied, moving onto the next cabinet. He gave it a cursory glance before shutting it and finally turning to face Rin. “Rin-san, did you remember to get more coffee?”

“Coffee?”

“It should have been on the list I gave you.”

“…List?”

Rei frowned and it took Rin a moment to remember: Rei had asked him to go grocery shopping before he went to practice today.

It was amazing he’d managed to forget, given how astonished he’d been when Rei had actually approached him voluntarily… But then again, maybe not so amazing. He’d probably spent so much time reading into it that actual the content of the (very short) conversation ended up slipping through the cracks.

“Shit—sorry. I completely forgot. Uh, do you want me to—”

But Rei was already fishing his wallet out of his backpack. “It’s fine. You’ve been busy.”

“But I—”

“Do you need anything?”

“I… yeah,” Rin sighed.  “Um… Razors, shaving cream, toothpaste, um… cabbage, grapefruit—”

“You’re going out of the country,” Rei reminded him.

“Scratch those two. Um… a few of those travel-size conditioners, a toothbrush cover, and… protein bars. I don’t care which flavor,” he added when Rei opened his mouth. “Do you need me to text you all this?”

“No, I’ll remember.” Rei stowed his keys in his pocket and started toward the door. Rin got up and followed sheepishly after him.

“Um, get something for dinner too. You haven’t eaten yet, right? Neither have I.”

“We have leftovers, don’t we?”

“I don’t want any of that. Come on, I’m leaving tomorrow. Go crazy.”

“Very well. What do you want?”

“You pick. Do you have your coupons on you?”

“I don’t need them.”

“Remember how mad you were when you forgot them last time?”

“It’ll be fine,” Rei waved him away. “Any other requests?”

“…Walk under the streetlights?”

Rei rolled his eyes and turned to leave. “Will do. Lock the door behind me.”

“Will—” The door slammed shut. “…Will do,” Rin muttered.

He slunk back into the kitchen and dropped heavily into his chair. As he dug his phone out of his pocket, he gave Kisumi a haggard smile.

“Just watch. He’ll be back for his coupons in a minute.”

“Weird…”

“Yeah, he gets pretty intense about them. You should have seen him the other week when he missed some deal on paper towels. It was—”

Kisumi shook his head. “No, no. Not that. _That’s_ not weird at all. I was talking about that, like… entire exchange.”

Rin looked up from the list he’d been texting Rei, a little alarmed. “You—You could tell?”

“Tell what?”

“That we’re—” _That we’re_ … fighting? No, that wasn’t it. Because they weren’t. Rin was certain of that. Unfortunately, that was the _only_ thing he was certain of. “…Uh. Nothing. Never mind.”

“No, what do you mean?”

“Forget it. What did _you_ mean?”

“Oh. Just…” Kisumi tilted his head toward the direction of the door. “You know. Rei.”

“What about him?” Rin asked warily.

“Well, didn’t he just scuttle off to do your grocery shopping?”

“I... guess? I mean, I think it’s probably safe to assume he’s gonna pick up his own stuff while he’s at it, so—”

“But… you were supposed to have done that already,” Kisumi said. He folded his arms on the table and rested his chin on them, looking up at Rin.  “I mean that’s what it sounded like, at least. Right?”

“Right…” Rin said slowly. “But what’s your point? I mean, I feel bad about it, but—”

“I’m sure you do,” Kisumi said. “But what about Rei? He just got home and you sent him right back out again!”

“No, I didn’t!” Rin cried, caught off guard by Kisumi’s accusatory tone. “He _offered_. You were there!”

“You didn’t put up much of a fight!”

“Yeah, well, that’s because it wouldn’t have done any good. He would have insisted anyway—I just saved us the twenty minutes of back-and-forth.”

“’He would have insisted,’ huh?” Kisumi sat up and crossed his arms.

“Yes. He would have,” Rin replied, crossing his arms as well. “Would’ve fallen all over himself, in fact.”

“To do your grocery shopping.”

“Yes… I mean, _no!_ I mean—not _just_ mine. I told you, he’s—”

“And you don’t think that’s weird?”

“I…” Rin hesitated, outright denial stalling in his throat.

… _Did_ he think it was weird? Actually, he wasn’t sure if he had ever thought about it in the first place. Rei was... Rei. Stubborn, single-minded… selfless to a fault. That wasn’t weird. That was just _him_.

“Not… not _really_ ,” he said, a bit perplexed. “I mean… he’s always been like that.”

“Like what?”

'What' indeed… _Rin_ knew what he meant, but he wasn’t quite sure he could put it into words. “You know. Just… accommodating?”

“Accommodating,” Kisumi repeated. “Wow… insightful.”

Rin glared at him. “Well, what do you want me say? I mean, you’ve met him—How else am I supposed to characterize eighteen years of…” He gestured emphatically. “… _that_?”

“Is it _really_ that tall an order? I thought you two were close.”

“We are!”

Kisumi shrugged. “Ok…”

“ _What_?” Rin snapped.

“Nothing.”

“Then quit looking at me like that! I’m not gonna take it back. He _is_ …very… accommodating…” Rin finished weakly. Somehow it sounded a lot more inadequate the second time.

Kisumi held up his hands. “Ok. Fine. He’s accommodating.”

“Or… _something_.”  Rin frowned, tipping his chair back and staring up at the ceiling. “It’s like… he takes everything so _seriously_ , it’s hard to tell if he’s doing all this stuff because he _wants_ to or because he feels like he’s obligated. Or like he’s _honor_ -bound or whatever. Hell, maybe he was a samurai in another life. I don’t know.” He let the front legs of his chair thump back to the floor. “Actually, now that I think about it...  he should probably try to get over that. Someone’s gonna take advantage of him one day.”

“Um, it kind of seems like you already do," said Kisumi.

It took a moment for his words to sink in. And when they finally did, Rin’s kneejerk reaction was to assume he was kidding. “…Yeah?” he said. And he tried to sound like he was actually amused, but it came out more apprehensive than anything else. “How do you figure?”

“He _is_ doing your shopping, isn’t he?”

“You do realize I’m going to reimburse him, right? We’ve got this whole system where we take turns and—”

“Does he still make you lunch everyday?” Kisumi asked—so completely out of nowhere that Rin almost got whiplash.

“Well— _yeah_ , but—”

“And isn’t that his name written on your nifty little chore chart for the last two—” Kisumi squinted at the fridge. “—going on _three—_ weeks?”

“I—Well, I’ve been sickish for the last—”

“ _Aaaaaaaand,”_ Kisumi pointed a finger right in his face, “Isn’t he _also_ the person responsible for orchestrating your entire reunion with Sousuke?”

“That’s—! How do you even _know_ that?!”

“Sousuke told me,” Kisumi said archly. “Is he wrong? Am _I_ wrong?”

It was a hell of a finishing blow. Rin floundered. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, unable to formulate a response. Which seemed to be enough of a response in itself as far as Kisumi was concerned.

“Now do you see what I’m saying? I mean, what is he, your indentured servant? How long has this been going on? ”

“I—I don’t know,” Rin admitted. He gave Kisumi a sort of desperate look, but Kisumi just shrugged. He was regarding Rin with a strange expression on his face. Rin couldn’t quite name it, but was definitely bordering on… disappointed? “I—no. No, no, no. Look, it’s really not like that at all. He just—I don’t know… likes being helpful or something. He… he’s nice.” _Accommodating_ , a nasty little voice in the back of his head added mockingly.

“Yeah,” said Kisumi. “Clearly. But what about you? Are _you_ nice?”

“What? I—of course I am! I mean, yeah, I forget the groceries every once in a while, but I’m a good roommate. Ask any—”

“But this isn’t about the roommate thing!” Kisumi snapped. “Who the hell was even asking if you’re a good roommate or not? Because I’ve got news for you, Rin: it’s not that hard. You sometimes do the dishes?  You don’t eat food that isn’t yours? Congratulations, you’re a good roommate! That’s _nothing_. Total strangers can be good roommates—I mean, not in my own _personal_ experience, obviously, but—but that’s not the point! I just mean—” Kisumi broke off and took a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. Then he looked back up Rin. “You and Rei. You guys are _friends_ , right?”

Rin nodded mutely.

“Right,” Kisumi said. “So I guess what I’m trying to get at here is whether or not this is like… a mutual give-and-take sorta thing. ‘Cause, Rin, no offense, but it looks to me like you’ve been doing a whole lot of one and not the other. You know? But hey…” he added with a shrug. “I could be wrong. I mean, I don’t _live_ here, so… sorry if I’m way off base, but…  I do hope you realize that ‘good roommate’ and ‘good _friend’_ aren’t actually the same thing.”

Rin didn’t reply. He was too stunned to do anything but sit there as his mind began churning out instance after instance from the last few months of Rei doing something generous, or noble, or otherwise self-sacrificing. There were almost too many to count. They weren’t _all_ on Rin’s behalf—because both Haru and Makoto were liable to turn to Rei in a pinch every now and then too—but the disproportion was undeniable. It was a well-documented fact that Rei couldn’t ignore a friend in need, and unfortunately, “in-need” was pretty much Rin’s default setting.

“…Rin?”

And the further back he thought, the more damning the evidence became. He squeezed his eyes shut briefly, trying to ground himself firmly in the present. Though that wasn’t looking much better. _Would it_ really _have been that hard to remember the fucking groceries…?_

Kisumi let him stew for another few moments before sighing heavily. “Look, don’t… don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have gone there. I didn’t even _mean_ to, but it was like… I don’t know… I was already in a mood, and Rei just looked really tired when he came in and… It was easy to get carried away. Really, don’t worry about it. I know you two are solid.”

“No, that’s just it… I mean, lately I’ve been getting this feeling that he… that he’s…”

Rin bit his thumbnail. Kisumi tilted his head, looking at him anxiously. “Rin, come on, I _swear_ I wasn’t trying to force some kinda existential crisis on you. I told you, I was blowing it out of proportion for my own satisfaction.” Then, more to himself, he muttered, “Shoot… Sousuke’s gonna kill me… Hey, do me a favor and don’t tell him about this, ok?”

Rin shook his head. “No, listen. I… I think you might be right. The friend thing—It’s like… I don’t know about nice, but… I haven’t exactly been _good_. I mean… if there’s even a difference.”

“There is!” Kisumi cried. He clapped Rin on the back. “There totally is. Which is why I think you’ve probably got it backwards. You’re a good person, Rin—and a good friend. I can vouch for that, and I know Rei can too. So… relax, all right? Good is something you just _are_. Nice is something you can work on. I mean, I’m not saying you have to start making him lunch and cleaning his room for him—“

“He doesn’t clean my—!”

“But maybe you could, like, make sure he knows you… appreciate him? Or something? In your own, special Rin-way?”

“…Right,” Rin said. And he didn’t relax so much as deflate, sliding down low in his chair. “I think I might have really dropped the ball on this one,” he continued, running a hand through his hair. “There’s just been so much stuff going on lately… I didn’t _mean_ to—”

“’Course you didn’t.”

“I—I don’t really have a good excuse,” Rin said, hoisting himself up and looking urgently at Kisumi. “It’s just hard for me notice sometimes. I got used to it, you know? I mean, Rei has this tendency to… I mean, it’s like he’s… I mean, he’s always been kind of…”

“A cut above the rest?” Kisumi suggested. Rin nodded vigorously, and now Kisumi was smiling at him for some reason. “Gotta love an overachiever, huh? Always making the rest of us look bad.”

“You really have no idea,” Rin sighed.

They lapsed into silence after that. It lasted only a few moments, but that was more than enough time for Rin to plunge once again to the depths of despair. Luckily, before he could get lost down there, Kisumi threw him a line.

“Why does he need coffee this late at night?”

Rin wasn’t sure whether he should go into it or not. Rei’s caffeine habit had escalated to frankly worrying levels. Rin had a pretty good idea why, and that was where the trouble lay. Because apparently Rin wasn’t allowed to comment on, or even allude to Rei’s academic life. Every time he tried, Rei shut him down swiftly and thoroughly.

And as though he had somehow sensed that Rin was (potentially) about to break taboo, Rei chose that very moment to traipse back into the apartment.

Rin and Kisumi both stared at him, and he flushed, mumbling something about there being a special on frozen spinach that he forgot he read about and how he might be needing his coupons after all.

“Oh, yeah, I saw that too!” Kisumi said. “Buy two, get one free, right? Good thing you remembered.”

Rei nodded, still looking a faintly embarrassed. He turned to the table by the door and started rifling through the drawer where they kept the coupons.

Kisumi turned back around and grinned at Rin, who was still staring at Rei. When he noticed Kisumi, he quickly lowered his gaze to the table.

“…Well,” Kisumi said after a long moment of silence. Rin and Rei, who had yet to acknowledge each other, snapped to attention almost perfectly in sync as he pushed his chair back from the table. “I reckon it’s been long enough. Keiji and what’s-her-face should be winding down by now, so I’ll head back.”

“You can stick around if you want!”  “You don’t have to leave on my account!” Rin and Rei said at the same time.

“...Right,” Kisumi said, his smile fading as he glanced between them. “Uh, thanks, but that’s ok. I should get going. It’s pretty late,” he added, casting Rin a meaningful look as he stood up. “See ya, Rin. Good luck with your thingamajig in France… And your thingamajig here.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Rin said, waving him away and sinking a little lower in his seat.

Kisumi headed to the door, stopping right in front of Rei, who was still hovering uncertainly by the coupon drawer. He put his hands on Rei’s shoulders and looked him square in the eye.

“Listen up, Rei. We’re all terribly grateful for your loyal service to Princess Rin here, but _please_ remember to love yourself. Ok?”

“Um. Ok…?” Rei replied, throwing a bewildered look to Rin, who at this point had practically slid to the floor.

Kisumi nodded once and gave Rei a bracing little shake before releasing him. “Right. Good... I’m off, then.”  

And indeed he was. He shot out the door like a bullet, clearly eager to escape whatever scene was about to unfold in his wake.

“…What was that about?” Rei asked after a moment.

“Who knows?” Rin replied with what he hoped was a carefree shrug, avoiding Rei’s gaze. “He’s been acting weird all night. Um. He’s apparently in a ‘mood’… I think he said? I’m actually a little worried about him. His roommate’s been giving him some trouble lately, and he’s got something or other going on with...some other people.... But, um...” Rin paused, recognizing a need to wrangle back some control over his tongue. His eyes, meanwhile, settled on the coupons Rei had fished out of the drawer.

Abruptly, Rin pushed his chair back from the table and stood up. “Uh, Rei— listen!

“Yes?”

“I can do the sho—!” Rin tripped over his discarded duffel bag in his haste to get to the door. “ _Shit_ —I can do the—”

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine! Listen! I can do the shopping!” Rin babbled as he disentangled his foot from the strap. When he finally shook the damn thing off, he straightened up and tried to act like it hadn’t happened.  “...If you want. I mean… I’m the one who was supposed to do it anyway.”

Rei looked at him blankly for a moment, as though he’d somehow managed to forget that fact. Rin rubbed the back of his neck and eyed him uneasily. And then, to his complete and utter bafflement, Rei _smiled_.

“I really don’t mind,” he said. “It was my fault, really. I shouldn’t have asked you on such short notice.”

“That’s not—”

“Besides, I could do with the walk. It might help with my headache.”

“Rei, if you have a headache, then don’t—”

“I didn’t realize it was so late,” Rei added shutting the drawer and stowing his coupons in his pocket. “You’re not going to have a lot of time to sleep over the next few days, right? You should try to get some rest while you still can.”

“That doesn’t—I’ll be fine! At least let me go _with_ you— ”

“No need.”

“Rei, wait a—”

“You don’t have to wait up for me!” Rei tossed over shoulder. And with that, he headed out once again.

All Rin could do was gape after him, knee-deep—no, make that _chin_ -deep—in that existential crisis Kisumi hadn’t been trying to force on him.

 

* * *

 

The thing was—that was _it_ , wasn’t it? It had to be.

Rin had to hand it to him. Kisumi seemed to have solved the mystery—and Rin suspected he’d known exactly what he was doing, despite all of his claims to the contrary. Kisumi liked to play the airhead, but he was actually quite sharp.

And what sucked was that Rin couldn’t even be mad about it. He’d wanted to know why Rei suddenly seemed so… _done_ with him. Well, now he knew. And the truth was a million times worse than anything his nocturnal musings had ever conjured up.

Honestly… Of course Rei was acting like he wanted nothing to do with him. Of _course_ he was going out of his way to avoid him. For God’s sake, he was probably having _nightmares_ about Rin popping out of the woodwork with _yet another_ problem to dump on him.

That whole Sousuke-thing must have been the last straw. How could he not have realized it? After all, it had taken Kisumi—what? All of two minutes to figure it out? And now that he thought about it, it was so _obvious_! No perception necessary—just a little _common sense_.

Rin knew he wasn’t the most rational person a lot of the time, but he’d never considered himself dense. At least until now.

But… it was just habit. He’d been thinking about the issue as he always did—under the assumption that he’d done something to earn Rei’s ire. It had never even occurred to him that the issue might lay in what he _hadn’t_ done.

_Maybe you could make sure he knows you appreciate him? In your own special Rin-way?_

Well, hang on. Rin had kinda thought he _had_ done that. That was what the hug had been for! To show how grateful he was for everything Rei had done for him. In his own, special, _non-verbal_ Rin-way. Because talking was _hard_. Try as he might to swallow his pride, it still ended up lodged in his throat more often than not. So he figured the hug would convey his meaning much more effectively. He had thought it was such a _good_ idea at the time, but… Actually... looking back on it now...

Why _had_ he thought that was a good idea?

Rin had been trying to save himself some embarrassment, but… randomly hugging someone with no explanation was _way_ more embarrassing than just saying “Thanks for all your help” or whatever. Good God.

And just what the hell had he even been expecting? Well, he knew what he’d been expecting—that Rei would read between the lines and just _get_ it, like he always did. But of course he didn’t! Not this time, when all he had to go on was the extreme invasion of his personal space coupled with Rin’s inane comment about breakfast. Rei was good— _so_ good— but he wasn’t a mind reader! There was literally no way to interpret that! In fact, not only had he most likely _not_ come off as grateful, what Rin probably _had_ come off as was completely _insane_.

Boy, had he ever screwed himself over...This whole thing could have been avoided if he had just mustered up the courage to spit it out right then and there. And the worst part was that it was probably too late to fix it! Because how weird would _that_ be? It wasn’t like he could just  reconstruct that perfect,  _critical_ moment he’d blown to smithereens! Well, maybe he could, but not in a way that wouldn’t be completely awkward for both of them.

There was zero chance of coming out of it with his pride intact… although his pride was what had gotten him in trouble in the first place, so maybe it was for the best that he do away with it altogether… but then again, he was going to _need_ his pride if things didn’t go well…

Rin continued in that vein on and off through the night and over the course of the next day. And as much as he hated it, the fact that Rei was still dutifully avoiding him had suddenly become a blessing, given the state of retroactive humiliation Rin was currently mired in.

God… Why had he done that? Just why had he gone and inflicted that hug on him? Rei had clearly _hated_ it—Rin was painfully aware of that now. He’d practically _sprinted_ away right after, hadn’t he? And why wouldn’t he? It had been entirely unwelcome, entirely uncalled for!

It was too mortifying—not to mention too inconsequential, just a minor detail in the great scheme of Rin’s latest cockup—to dwell on. But dwell on it, Rin did. He probably should have saved some brooding for the twelve-hour plane ride that lay ahead of him, but the word ‘excessive’ had lost all meaning to him.

He was busy with preparations for the trip, of course, so when push came to shove, he was able to put a lid on it when he needed to. But the second he wasn’t doing anything that required more than the barest minimum of concentration, Rin’s mind circled right back.

He thought about it between his classes, he thought about it while he looked for his passport, thought about it while he packed… He abruptly _stopped_ thinking about it when he realized he forgot to do his laundry and spent a refreshing few minutes beating himself up over that instead as he trudged upstairs.

To his relief, the good washer—which was only good in that it was the only one that wasn’t at least thirty years old and therefore had a 20 minute cycle setting—was available. Rin tossed everything in, not even bothering to separate his colors out. He didn’t need to leave for another two hours, but he wasn’t about to risk being even the slightest bit late over something as stupid as proper laundry procedure.

 _Rei would probably be horrified_ , he thought as he dug some his change out of his pocket. _‘Course, it’s not like_ _he’ll_ _ever find out. And even if he did, he probably wouldn’t care_.

He’d washed his hands of Rin, after all…  Actually, why was he even thinking about him? This had nothing to do with Rei. Damn it, why did he always have to—

The sound of metal hitting the ground knocked Rin out of his thoughts in time to see his coins disappear behind the machine. And that was when he realized he’d been so distracted that he’d missed the coin slot completely and had tried to insert his money into the wall.

“…Shit,” he muttered, getting down on his hands and knees to retrieve it. That had been the last of his change, too.

It became clear almost immediately that Rin’s hands weren’t going to fit between the wall and the back of the washer. His only option was to push. Rin put all of his weight into it—one, two, three times—but that too was a losing battle. The thing wouldn’t budge and Rin was tiring himself out. Plus the knees of his jeans were getting soaked from the water leaking from the next washer over.

Panting, Rin wiped some sweat off his brow and was just about to try again when he heard someone say, “Rin-san?”

Rin whipped around so fast that he smacked his head on the door that was hanging open on the dryer next to him. For a few seconds, all he saw were stars. And when those cleared, all he saw was Rei. He was standing in the doorway, laundry basket under his arm.

“Are you all right?” he asked anxiously. “That looked painful.”

It _had_ been painful. Rin would probably be crying right now if he wasn’t still in shock. He hadn’t even realized Rei was home. _That_ was how little overlap there had been between them all day. And now _here_ of all places…

“…Nah, I’m fine,” he said as breezily as could. Which probably would have been a little more convincing if it hadn’t been prefaced by a good five or six second pause while his brain booted back up. “Didn’t hurt at all.”

He clambered to his feet, gingerly rubbing the spot he’d whacked and wincing in agony. Rei set his basket down and walked over to him, concern written plain on his face.

He leaned in—close enough that Rin had to battle the urge to step back—and brushed some hair out of his face.

“That’s probably going to bruise,” he said, running a thumb lightly over the skin above Rin’s left eyebrow. “It’s already quite red.”

Oh, Rin had no doubt it was red. His entire face was probably red. He gently pushed Rei away and shook his head—but only once, because _ow_.

“Sorry…” Rei added sheepishly.

“It’s fine, it wasn’t your fault,” Rin said, maneuvering his way out from between him and the washer. “Anyway… How’d you know that was me?” Rin was pretty sure only his lower half would have been visible from the door.

“Just a guess,” Rei said, his focus back on Rin’s forehead. “Rin-san are you _sure_ you’re all right?”

“Positive. It barely hurts anymore.”

“I thought you said it didn’t hurt at all,” Rei said, finally shifting his gaze to Rin’s eyes. Rin could only grimace back at him.

“I lied, ok? It hurt like hell and it still does. But other than that, I’m fine, so… can we just ignore it? Please?”

“Well. As long as you’re fine.”  Rei was smiling now, just a tiny bit.

He went to retrieve his basket. Rin sagged and rubbed a hand over his eyes while his back was turned, but he instantly straightened when Rei asked, “In any case, what were you doing on the floor?”

“Dropped my change down there,” Rin mumbled.

“That’s unfortunate,” Rei said, sounding amused. He set his things down in front of one of the washers and began methodically placing articles of clothing inside. Rin eyed him warily. For someone who apparently couldn’t stand to be in the same room with Rin for more than ten seconds at a time, he sure didn’t seem to be in a hurry. What, did it not count if they weren’t inside their actual apartment? Was the laundry room neutral ground or something? “Were you able to get it back?”

“Get what back?” Rin said. And then—“Oh! No. I couldn’t reach it. My hand won’t fit behind the machine.”

Rei laughed again and Rin felt a stab of irritation. He turned his head away and directed a glare at the machine. “That was the only change I had left. It’s not funny, you know… Especially since you’re the one who made me drop it.”

“Me? What did I do?”

“Distracted me.”

“I wasn’t even in the room.”

“So?”

“So, how could I have made you drop your change if I wasn’t physically present to do so?”

“You just did, ok?”

“ _How_ , though?”

“Quit worrying about the logistics. I’m just stating a fact.”

“A fact that has no evidence to support it.”

“I’m short a hundred yen. There’s your evidence right there.”

“You’re not making a lot of sense.”

“ _Yeah_ , well...” Rin crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. “That’s how it is.”

He heard Rei huff and looked over at him. He was fussing with the cuffs of one of his dress shirts and pouting, looking just as miffed as Rin felt.

 _Good_ , Rin thought pettily. He took a great deal of comfort in the fact that no matter the state of their relationship, winding Rei up was still the easiest thing in the world. It was almost therapeutic.

 _Almost_.

The silence that proceeded to stretch between them put Rin’s small glimmer of satisfaction out like a light.

He cleared his throat, and, still keeping his eyes fixed on the washer in front of him, said, “I guess... you could make it up to me… If you want.”

“Well, seeing as I haven’t even accepted responsibility for it, I can’t really say that I do,” Rei replied. Rin heard him shut the door to his washer. “But… for the sake of argument…” he added. “What did you have in mind?”

Rin glanced at him and Rei shrugged, his cheeks faintly pink. “I feel bad about your head,” he said by way of explanation.

Rin hastily turned back around, trying to ignore how warm his own face had become. “I told you that wasn’t your fault.”

He heard Rei let out an exasperated sigh. “Rin-san, I’m _saying_ that if there’s something you want me to do, I’ll do it. Who’s getting caught up in logistics now?”

“ _Fine_ ,” Rin snapped. He scuffed the floor with his foot, uncrossed and recrossed his arms, dithering for just a moment. “…Help me get it back?”

“Help you get what back?”

“My change.”

“Oh… Well, I would, but I don’t think that’s going to work.” Rin could sense Rei coming to stand behind him. “My hands are bigger than yours.”

“Wha—They are not!” Rin cried.

He spun around to face Rei, who said nothing, just silently raised a hand. Rin automatically fit his own against it.

“…Huh,” he said after a moment. “Whad’dya know…”

“I told you,” Rei said solemnly, and despite Rin’s best efforts, a treacherous snort of laughter managed to escape him.

“Well—w _hatever_.” He entwined his fingers with Rei’s and tugged him forward, trying his damnedest to keep a straight face. “Give it a try anyway or I’m tossing my stuff in with yours.”

“You’re more than welcome to, of course,” Rei said. He was looking _entirely_ too pleased with himself.  “Are you doing lights as well?”

“Let’s see—I’m doing lights, darks, a few pairs of jeans…”

“Never mind,” Rei said, his sunny expression clouding over. “Rin-san, there’s no way that’s going to end well. I urge you to go back and sort—”

“I know, I know. Get my money back and we’ll talk.”

“Fine...” Rei sighed, his attention shifting to Rin’s washer. “This is the one?”

Rin nodded and Rei lowered himself down, grimacing when he realized the floor was wet. As he set himself to his task, Rin sat down on top of the dryer, glad for the momentary reprieve. His self-awareness had stepped out for a minute there, but now it was back with a vengeance.

This was all a little… weird. Weird because Rei was acting… well, _normal_. Normal enough that just now, Rin had actually forgotten to be nervous or confused or whatever else Rei made him feel these days. Which was nice, but also… well, _weird_. Was he mad at Rin or not? Couldn’t he make up his mind?

“Are you planning on leaving soon?” Rei asked after a while, startling Rin, who had been staring into space. He looked down at Rei’s legs, which were the only part him not obscured by the washer.

“Why? Am I bothering you? I was here first, you know.”

“Yes, I know...” Rei replied, sounding puzzled. “That’s not what I meant. I was just wondering what time you were meeting your team.”

“Oh. Right… Uh, I’ll probably head out around 9:30. So… I’ve still got a while. Which is good, ‘cause… you know. Laundry.”

“Right… I’m surprised you left it to the last minute like this.”

“Just slipped my mind, I guess. No big deal.”

“It’s understandable. You must be excited.”

“Yeah, way excited,” Rin said absently, leaning back on his palms and staring up at the ceiling. “First big international competition and all.”

“Remind me what your events are?”

“200 IM, 200 medley,  200 and 400 free, and hundred and 200 fly.”

“Oh, so you’re doing the IM after all. I remember you said you weren’t sure about it…”

“I managed to turn it around last week. I mean, it’s still kind of a gamble if you ask me, but Coach already sent off the roster, so… we’ll see.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll do— _fine_ ,” Rei grunted, bracing a shoulder against the side of the washer and leaning his weight into it, just as Rin had earlier. Rin watched him for a moment before slipping down from his perch to join him.

Their combined effort kept them silent for a while, which was fine by Rin. He had nothing against small talk in general, but whatever _this_ was left a bad taste in his mouth.

Unfortunately, even with both of them pushing, the machine still didn’t move an inch.

“Is this thing bolted to the floor or something?” Rin panted as he collapsed with his back against the washer a few minutes later. “It shouldn’t be this hard!”

“Maybe,” Rei said, a little out of breath himself. “It could be a preventative measure. You know, against theft and the like.”

“Are you kidding me? No one’s gonna steal a washer.”

“Not the entire washer, no. The money inside it, on the other hand…”

“Oh, yeah…”

“It’s probably collected through the back of the machine,” Rei said, getting to his feet and brushing himself off. “There could be some sort of mechanism preventing anyone who isn’t the landlady from accessing it.”

“I see... ” Rin pursed his lips. It was such a reasonable, _stupid_ explanation that it was actually pissing him off—a shot of anger added to the cocktail of confusion and helplessness he’d already mixed for himself. Irrational, yes, but Rin decided to let it run its course. Because it was either _that_ or give in to the sudden pressure behind his eyes.

Rin kicked his legs out in front of him, slumped so far down that he was practically horizontal, buried his face in his hands, and heaved what was quite possibly the biggest, most guttural sigh of his life. “What the _fuck…_ ”

Rei glanced down at him, startled. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“It can’t be nothing.”

“Well it is!”

“Then will you please get up? The floor is wet, you know.”

Rin said nothing, just crossed his arms over his chest, hoping Rei would take the hint and just leave him to ride out this… weird emotional maelstrom in peace.

But of course, he did no such thing, and before Rin could say or do anything to warn him off, Rei was lowering himself back down to kneel in front him.

“Rin-san?” Rin refused to meet his eyes, and Rei sighed.  “You know, you’re being very—”

Rin _did_ meet his eyes then, just long enough to make it clear that it would be in Rei’s best interest to _not_ finish that thought, and Rei—much to his credit—clammed right up.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t deterred for long.

“Fine… I won’t force you to tell me if you don’t want to. But… will you at least allow me to guess?”

“Guess _what_?” Rin said harshly. His throat was tightening and it was only a matter of time before he started crying… Possibly hyperventilating. Ugh, he hadn’t done _that_ in a while…

“What’s got you so out of sorts. I _have_ noticed, you know,” Rei added when Rin opened his mouth to deny it. “You’ve been acting strange for a while now. Ever since break ended.”

 _Rin_ had been acting strange, huh? That seemed a bit backwards. And more importantly, was he _really_ opening it up for discussion? Right here? On the laundry room floor?

Rin rubbed at his eyes before reluctantly meeting Rei’s gaze once more. “Ok… shoot.”

“Well, looking at it logically,” Rei began—and Rin braced himself, for it never did bode well for him when Rei employed _logic_. “There’s really only one thing it could be—You’re nervous about the competition.”

Rin opened his mouth, all manner of deflections, protestations, and denunciations poised to come flying out of it.

But then he registered what Rei had actually said.

It was amazing… He’d sounded so confident, too; it was that same self-assured, matter-of-fact tone he only used when he either knew _exactly_ what he was talking about or when he had absolutely _no idea_.

Rin very nearly laughed. He bit his lip, feeling immensely relieved and just a touch disappointed, both at once.

 _Not a mind reader_ , he reminded himself. The knot in his chest began to loosen some, and Rin coughed a few times for good measure.

“That’s… not it,” he said, giving his eyes one last swipe before looking back up at Rei with an apologetic smile. “Good guess, though.”

“Thank you,” Rei said blankly, and this time Rin couldn’t help but laugh. The sound seemed to alert Rei to the fact that he’d missed something. “Wait… Was I wrong? You _aren’t_ nervous?”

About the competition? Sure he was. But that wasn’t what was keeping him up at night.

 _It’s_ you _, stupid. It’s been you this_ whole time _._

“Eh, well… not really,” Rin said, sitting himself up a little straighter against the washer. “I’ve barely had time to think about it, actually. I mean I’ve been preparing for it long enough that at this point I’m pretty much… not even…”

Rin trailed off, suddenly wondering why he felt the need to lie about this when there wasn’t any good reason to. After all, if he had to choose between the two, he would much rather open this can of worms than… that other one.

“…Or—well. Actually… I guess I might be. Just a little. Nervous, that is. I mean… maybe I am.”

The words tripped awkwardly off his tongue compared to the blasé reassurances he was used to churning out. It was like pulling teeth. Yet, somehow, he felt all the better for it.

Of course, Rei had to go and ruin it with that look on his face—that wide-eyed look of wonder and surprise. And just what the hell was _that_ for, anyway? For God’s sake, you’d think Rin had never had an honest moment in his life! He was tempted to just take it all back out of sheer offense.

Too bad Rei was already off and running with it.

“That… That’s perfectly normal!” he exclaimed, his eyes shining eagerly. “Really, Rin-san, there’s nothing wrong with that! You’re under a great deal of pressure, of course, but… but  you mustn’t let it get to you! You’re a talented swimmer and, more importantly, an extraordinarily hard worker! So… if you ever feel yourself wavering, just remember that you have both of those attributes working in your favor! And…and I know the last several weeks have been hard for you, what with… well everything that’s happened—and it would have been incredibly easy to just give up and let it get the better of you—and I really think that if it had been anyone other than you, they probably would have—but—it _was_ you, and… you didn’t, and I just want you to know that I truly admire you for that and that’s why I’m confident you’ll do well, because you’re so… resilient. And talented. And—hardworking, which… I already mentioned, but… it bears repeating, I suppose…  Also, sorry—” he added unexpectedly. “I meant to say all this earlier, but there never really seemed to be a good time. I’m probably cutting it a little close, aren’t I?”

“That’s… uh…” Rin was struggling to come up with enough units of speech for  a coherent reply. There was a little too much going on here. Rei had been steadily moving closer and closer, and he had—without realizing it, Rin was almost certain—taken up one of Rin’s hands in both of his.

“Anyway,” Rei said, oblivious to the fact that Rin was short circuiting right there in front of him. “I’m sure you already know all that, but… I just thought it might be a good idea for you to hear it from someone else.”

“Well… th-thanks,” Rin managed to stammer out. “F-for being someone else.”

“Anytime.” Rei’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled, looking strangely relieved. Rin had to glance away.

“I, uh…” he began, staring determinedly at the wall. He reached up to rub the back of his neck, using his left hand since Rei was still holding onto the right. “It—it _has_ been hard, and… I hope you know that I really—I mean _you’ve_ been really… really, um…” Rin faltered. Coward that he was.

“Well… anyway,” he said, making a sharp turn into safer territory. “It’ll be fine. I’ve got a plan. For the competition, I mean.”

“A plan?”

Rin started to shrug, but stopped himself. Rei was still holding onto his hand, but his grip was loose enough that it felt like even the smallest bit of movement would cause it to fall away completely. “Well... More like a policy, really. To be realistic.”

“All right…” Rei said hesitantly. “What does that entail?”

“Just… you know. Not getting my hopes up too high. Basically, I’m expecting to win three of my six events. That sounds reasonable, right?”

Rei’s eyebrows drew together. “I suppose, but… it doesn’t really sound like _you_.”

“Yeah, that’s the point,” Rin said, warming to the subject. He’d given it a lot of thought, actually, in between thinking about _other_ things, and he was now certain that this was the way to go. “See, I’m trying out this whole realist-thing. You know, hope for the best, but expect the worst? Like, if I win more any more than that, then great, but if I don’t, at least I won’t be disappointed, you know?”

“You’ll probably still be disappointed,” Rei pointed out.

“But I won’t be surprised. And there’s nothing worse than being disappointed _and_ surprised.”

“You… _may_ have a point,” Rei said. “But I think you can aim higher than that. I say five out of six.”

“Don’t you dare. You’re gonna jinx me.”

Rei laughed. “Fine, then—a very reluctant four out of four.”

“Would you be willing to bet money on that?” Rin asked, trying not to smile. He was still cross, after all. Very cross.

“Certainly not. Gambling is a terrible habit,” Rei said. “However…” he added, pulling Rin to his feet. “If I were in the business of sponsoring athletes, I’d invest in you in a heartbeat.”

“Oh, God…” Rin covered his face with his hand.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing… you—you’ve really gotta stop saying things like that.”

“Why? I really meant it.”

“I _know_ , and that’s exactly _why_ you… You know, what?  Never mind.” Rin shook his head, letting out one last mortified chuckle. He caught a glimpse of his watch as he lowered his hand and realized—with some relief—that it was high time he shifted gears.

“… Anyway. I should probably get going. Gotta finish packing while my stuff’s in the wash,” he said, before he remembered that his laundry was a no-go at the moment. “…Actually, I’ve gotta run down to the store for some change and _then_ finish packing while my stuff’s in the wash,” he amended, bending down to pick up his basket. “But… this was fun. We should do it again some t—”

When he came back up, Rei was holding out a few coins that he had evidently just dug out of his pocket.

“You could have just asked, you know,” he said, looking amused.

Rin froze, completely thrown for just a second. Then he shook his head. “Uh. No. No, no, no. That’s ok... I don’t need it.”

“Aren’t you in a hurry?”

“Well, yeah, sort of, but that—that’s _your_ change!” Rin spluttered. “You—Don’t you need it?”

“Not really?” Rei said, giving Rin a weird look. “I’ve got plenty more in my room. What’s the problem?”

Where to even begin?

“It’s not a—a _problem_ , exactly,” he said. _I just… shouldn’t_. At least he was pretty sure he shouldn’t. He wasn’t quite clear on what the parameters were. He did know, however, that if this had happened before yesterday—before Kisumi had shined a light on everything Rin had been blocking out—Rin would have taken the money without a second thought…

…And now here he was _over_ -thinking it and Rei was staring at him like he was crazy. Great.

“Rin-san?” Rei prompted, and in that instant, Rin knew that he was just going to have to chalk this one up and try to do better next time. He shook his head.

“Nothing. Never mind. Uh… thanks,” he added.

“You’re welcome.” Rei dropped the coins into Rin’s outstretched hand. His head was still cocked slightly to the side, but he didn’t seem inclined to try to investigate Rin’s behavior further.

“I’m not gonna sort my clothes,” Rin said, redirecting his attention. Just to be safe.

“What?”

“You know.” Rin indicated the money Rei had just given him. “In the interest of full disclosure...”

“Ah. Right.” Rei nodded in sudden comprehension. “Duly noted… I hope you like the color grey.”

Rin rolled his eyes. He turned away from Rei and put forth his full concentration toward getting his laundry going.

Rei left him to it and set his basket on top of his own washer before stooping down to examine the washer that was still leaking all over the floor.

“Your bedroom is right below the laundry room, isn’t it?” he asked.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” Rin said as he set his dial. He glanced at Rei, who straightened up. “Why?”

“No reason… Just be sure to keep an eye on the water stains on your ceiling.”

“Actually, I did noticed they’ve gotten darker.”

“Have they?”

Rin tossed a detergent pod in with his clothes and nodded. “Not good, right? I left Yasuya-san a note about it last week.”

“Is she planning on doing something about it?”

“Well, the last time we ran into each other she literally locked herself in the boiler room to get away from me so… probably not?”

Rei rolled his eyes. “I’ll talk to her.”

“I appreciate it.”

When Rin finished up, he collected his basket and hovered by the door while Rei dug around in the supply closet. He soon emerged with a wet floor sign that clearly hadn’t seen the light of day in while, at least if the cobwebs Rei wiped off of it were any indication.

“That was nice of you,” Rin commented when Rei finally joined him. They left the laundry room and headed down the hall toward the stairs.

Rei shrugged. “I wouldn’t want anyone to slip. It’s lucky neither of us did.”

“Oh, man, I wish I had. Do you know how much pleasure I would get out of suing Yasuya-san?”

“Pleasure is the _only_ thing you would get out of suing her. She’s practically bankrupt,” Rei said. “And you can hardly afford an injury.”

“I guess not,” Rin sighed. “… Wouldn’t be too hard to fake it, though.”

Rei laughed, and Rin glanced sidelong at him. This whole laundry room-episode was the longest they’d interacted with each other in, what, two weeks?  And he’d noticed it before, but Rei seemed awfully… relaxed. Or something.

“What?” Rei asked, catching Rin’s eye.

“Ah… nothing,” Rin said. “I was just thinking. You seem like you’re in a good mood today.”

“Do I?”  Rei stared down into his laundry basket and hummed thoughtfully. When he looked back up at Rin, he smiled, and Rin’s stomach gave a weird flip. “I guess I am.”

“Y-yeah, you seem like it,” Rin said again. He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to remember his point. “Um. Right… Did something happen? Something good, I mean?”

“Hmm. Not any one thing, really,” Rei said, stepping aside so Rin could begin descending the stairs first. “Just looking forward to the weekend, I suppose.”

“You got something going on?”

“Going on?”

“Yeah. Any big plans?” Rin glanced back at him.

“Oh…” Rei looked a little confused, but a second later his expression cleared. He smiled. “Oh, yes! Very big.”

When he didn’t elaborate, Rin paused on the next step to look back at him once more. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Your big plans,” Rin said, trying not to sound as curious as he felt.

“Yes? What about them?”

“What are they!?”

“Two essays and a take-home exam,” Rei said matter-of-factly. Rin stared at him, and it took him a moment to realize that he’d just walked right into some sort of private joke Rei had set up.

It was the sort of thing that would normally have annoyed Rin to no end, which was why the bark of laughter that escaped him took them both by surprise.

“That—that wasn’t funny!” he said quickly, whipping his head back around and trying to muster up some indignation. Behind him, Rin heard Rei begin to laugh as well, and the sound pleased him more than he cared to admit.  “God, that was the opposite of funny. Are you crazy?”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Rei said primly, falling into step beside him as they entered their hall. “You’re the one who wanted to know about my _'_ big' plans…”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Why? What sort of plans did you envision me having?”

“Heck… I don’t know. I mean, I guess it was my fault for getting my hopes up, but… I really did want to think you had a little more going on than just… you know. School shit.”

Rin held his breath and waited for Rei to steer the conversation away from school. He was surprised he’d been able to push it this far as it was.

Rei stayed quiet for a long moment. They were almost at their door and Rin was about to change the subject himself when Rei finally said, “I’ll probably go for a run.”

“What, right now?”

“This weekend. You know. Between assignments.”

“Oh. Right…” Rin said. “Well. That’s awfully ambitious. Let’s see… maybe you could sleep a little, too, while you’re at it. You know. Between assignments?”

“That _was_ on the agenda, the last time I checked,” Rei said, smiling sheepishly. “Additionally, I’ve worked at least three meals into each day at various intervals, so… as you can see, I won’t _just_ be doing schoolwork.”

Rin returned his smile, but chose not to comment. He held the door open for Rei and lingered in front of it for a moment before following him inside.

“Do you have everything you need?” Rei asked once Rin had shut the door. “Are your passport and money all in order? Small change notwithstanding, of course,” he added with a smirk.

“Yeah, yeah. Listen, tonight was just, like, a series of freak accidents. I’m a _great_ packer—like Olympic class.”

“Of course,” Rei said. “It’s always a good idea to have something to fall back on, isn't it?”

“Shut up.” Rin huffed out a laugh. “I really _am_ that good, though,” he added as he began taking off his shoes. “When I was younger I used to look up tutorials on maximizing the capacity of your suitcase using all these differ—whoa…!”

Rin, who had been tugging away at his left shoe, teetered dangerously. Before he could lose his balance altogether, he managed to grab onto Rei’s shoulders. Luckily, Rei reached out to grab his forearms at the exact same moment, or else Rin’s momentum would have sent them both crashing sideways into the wall.

“Whoops, sorry—” Rin said as Rei began, “Sorry, I—”  

They both stopped and laughed awkwardly. Rin shifted around a bit and slid his hands down to Rei’s biceps. “Just—gimme one second.”

It was slower work, going hands free, but… that was fine. He really shouldn’t have been hopping around on one foot in the first place. Stupid thing to do right before a competition…

Once Rin managed to kick off his right shoe, he and Rei released each other, yet again in near perfect sync. It was getting kind of frustrating. Rin pushed some hair out of his face, half-expecting to see Rei mirror the action. He didn’t, though. Instead, he stepped back from Rin and leaned down to pick up his abandoned laundry basket.

“Sorry,” Rin said again. “Didn’t really plan on that being a two-person job…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Rei straightened up and smiled somewhat wearily at him. “You know I’m always happy to be of service.”

Rin winced.

He made to step out of the foyer, but Rei was still standing in front of him blocking his path. He wondered, vaguely, if it would be too extreme to knock Rei’s basket out of his hands and use the time it took him retrieve it from the floor to make his escape. If he could just get out of the foyer, the tiny, miniscule foyer—

Some suggestion of Rin’s desperation—whether it was in his eyes or his body language— must have shone through because after a moment of what seemed to be hesitation, Rei actually moved out of the way.

They slowly began to migrate to nearly opposite ends of the apartment, Rei never once turning his back, but edging toward his door in incrementals nonetheless. Rin meanwhile, hovered awkwardly in the twilight zone that served as their living room.

They were both silent. Rin noticed a loose thread on the hem of his shirt and made it his mission to destroy it. Rei shifted his basket under one arm and put his other hand in his pocket.

“So—”

“Well—”

They grimaced at each other.

“…You first,” Rin said, hoping Rei wouldn’t argue with him.

“Oh… Um. I was going to say that I probably won’t see you before you leave… Right before you leave, I mean.”

“Oh. Well, that’s… I mean, I’m not leaving for a little while, but I guess if you’re really that—”

“I am,” Rei said before Rin could even begin to form the word ‘busy’. “I… wasn’t actually expecting the laundry to take this long, you see.”

“Right. Well, that’s… my fault.”

“Not at all!” Rei said quickly. “Sorry, I, uh—I wasn’t blaming you or anything. I just meant… I should probably say goodbye now. Since I won’t have time later.”

 _Do you really have time_ now _?_ Rin wanted to ask him. He was doing that thing again. That whole, I’d-rather-be anywhere-but-here-only-I’m-too-polite-to-say-so thing. It seemed as though the laundry room detente was officially over.

“Yeah…” he said instead. “Ok… Well. Bye.”

“Take care of yourself, all right?” Rei said. “I mean—not that I think you won’t—or that you’re incapable, because I know you’re—”

“Rei, it’s fine,” Rin cut him off. “You can say stuff like that. I told you.”

Rei dragged a hand through his hair. “Right. Sorry… it just… feels a little strange still.”

“Yeah, well. That one probably _is_ my fault,” Rin said. He realized he was scowling and forced his himself to relax. He didn’t want Rei to get the wrong idea. “But…don’t stop. We’ll get used to it.”

Rei nodded and they shifted infinitesimally further away from each other and closer to their destinations.

“Um. What were you going to say?” Rei asked. “Before, I mean.”

What _was_ he going to say? Rin couldn’t actually remember.

“Nothing important,” he guessed.

“All right. Then… Goodbye. Have a safe trip.” Rei turned and took his first proper step toward his door.

“You too,” Rin said.

Rei stopped and turned back around. His eyebrows were furrowed. “Um—”

Rin flushed and rolled his eyes. “I—Ok, no, obviously I didn’t mean, like—not like ‘ _you_ have a safe trip _too_ ,’ or whatever. Just—” Rin shifted his weight, resting one hand on his hip and passing the other one over his eyes. “I meant to say… ‘you take care of yourself too,’ and… that’s what came out.”

“I see,” Rei said. Rin heard a tiny huff of air that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. And sure enough, when he lowered his hand, he saw that Rei was fighting back a smile. “Well. I do appreciate that.”

“I mean it, you know,” Rin said sternly. “I don’t wanna get a call in the middle of a race informing me you OD’d on caffeine or whatever.”

“Why would you have your phone on you in the middle of a race?”

“Rei.”

Rei frowned. “I’ll… drink responsibly.”

“That’s all I ask,” Rin said. “Look, I get it. Your plate’s full and there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. But you know, there are plenty of other ways to—”

“I’ll look into those,” Rei said.

“When?”

Rei hesitated. “…Over the weekend, if you like.”

“Over the weekend, huh?” Rin echoed. He was aware, in some distant part of his mind, that he should really just drop it. Quit while he was ahead, so to speak. He never had been good at that… “Between eating, sleeping, two essays, a test, and a run, you mean?”

“You don’t believe me?”

Rin shrugged. “It’s not that. I’m just thinking about the logistics, is all. You’re sure gonna have your work cut out for you...  Don’t you think?”

Rei exhaled and rubbed one of his temples. “Rin-san, if you have a problem, I’d really rather you—”

“I bet you were never even planning on going running,” Rin said. “Were you?”

Rei clenched his jaw so hard that Rin could have sworn he could hear his teeth grind together. He set his basket down once more and crossed the living floor to stand right in front of Rin. “All right. Fine. You caught me. I _wasn’t_ going to go running. It was never even a possibility. And you _knew_ that. But tell me, Rin-san, what would you have me do? Ignore the test I have due at midnight on Saturday? Just… _not_ write my essays? And that’s to say nothing of all the reading I have to—”

“ _All right,_ ” Rin cut him off. He suddenly didn’t want to hear it. “I get it.”

“I don’t think you do,” Rei said. “If you did, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion. It’s fine. I don’t expect you to understand, but I would appreciate it if you minded your own—”

Rin let out a humorless laugh. “It’s just homework, Rei. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“I get it,” Rin repeated coldly. “You’re busy. And lucky for you,” he couldn’t help adding, “I won’t even be around to bother you. That worked out well, didn’t it? You must be thrilled.”

“It _is_ a rather fortunate coincidence. I think I’ll probably be much more productive than usual.”

Rin had been making great strides toward the couch—overcome as he was with a sudden need to throw himself upon it—but now he froze. “Is—is that right.”

Rei nodded. “That’s what I’m hoping at least. We’ll see… In any case,” he added, apparently oblivious to the effect his words were having on Rin. He inclined his head slightly, a very picture of grim determination. “Let’s endeavor to do our best, Rin-san. It’s an important weekend for both of us.”

See... here’s the thing: Rin had been punched in the stomach before.

Well. Once. In fourth grade. He couldn’t really remember the details— just that it had happened during lunch and there may or may not have been a limited edition pack of _Super Sentai_ fruit snacks involved that may or may not have been stolen out of Rin’s bag when he wasn’t looking. Rin may or may not have confronted the kid responsible, who may or may not have been about twice his size. Later, in the nurse’s office, Kisumi would assure him that he looked really cool issuing his challenge, and Sousuke would add that he looked even cooler flying backwards at 60 kilometers per hour.

There was nothing worse than getting punched in the stomach. It was the ultimate attack, really. Nothing was safe. Your breath, your pride, your lunch—if you were really unlucky—all of it got knocked right out of you in one blow from someone who, in all likelihood, didn’t even know their own strength.

Basically, it hurt. A _lot_.

Rin had managed block the memory of that particular sensation out for a good ten years. Weird that it chose this moment to come crashing back down on him.

He opened his mouth, and then shut it again. He didn’t trust himself to say anything.

_Fortunate coincidence? More productive than usual?_

Sure _,_ Rin was the one who’d said it first, but he’d been _joking_. Rei wasn’t supposed to agree with him… What the fuck, why did he agree with him?!

“…Rin-san?”

 _Because he hates you, obviously._ That was the first explanation that popped into his head, and Rin decided to go with it. Besides, he already knew that, didn’t he? He’d just been lulled into a false sense of security…

“I don’t get you,” Rin blurted.

Rei’s eyebrows drew together, and Rin nearly choked.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I—I said I’ll miss you!” he cried.

And while the air was still ringing with this attempt to backpedal, Rin realized that what he just pretended he’d said was a million times worse than what he had actually said, and _holy shit_ , _why did he keep doing that?_ That damn hug hadn’t been as bad as this!

And it was only by the grace of whatever gods had yet to abandon him that Rei apparently thought he was joking.

“Oh… Ok,” he said mildly, once his initial, _obvious_ shock wore off. He offered Rin a knowing smile—and there was a certain mechanical quality about it that Rin hadn’t seen in quite a while. “Well. I trust you won’t let it affect your performance. You are a professional after all. Or near enough.”

He reached out to give Rin a bracing slap on the arm, and Rin could have just about died right then and there.

“Anyway,” Rei continued over his shoulder as he attempted to get away once again. “…Good luck with everything.”

“Rei,” Rin called him back, despite the fact that each and every fiber of his being was begging him not to. Rei paused.

“Yes?”

“Listen, I…”

“Yes?” Rei said again.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, stalling just long enough to let his nerve to slip out on him again. He exhaled. “Nothing. Just… have a nice weekend. I hope you get a lot done.”

Rei nodded, looking down into his laundry basket. “Thank you,” he said. When he looked back up at him, Rin crossed his arms and directed his own gaze at the window a few feet to Rei’s left. “Well… bye.”

“I’ll pay you back for the laundry,” Rin said.

“No need,” Rei said, opening his door and stepping through. He glanced back at Rin. “You can just think of it as my investment.”

Rei’s door closed and Rin had no way of knowing if it ever opened again that night; he made sure of that, abandoning his laundry—he had enough to last him, and if not, well, he and Haru were almost the same size anyway—and making short work of the rest of his packing.

 He was the first one at the athletic center, with two hours to kill, his phone at 10% battery, and every TV in the lobby tuned into some golf tournament. Rin couldn’t stand golf.

 But all of that was fine. He was out of the apartment, and that was the only thing that mattered.

 Never let it be said that Rin Matsuoka couldn’t take a hint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"Dust in the Wind" plays softly in the background*
> 
> Lmao. Somebody got his feelings hurt. But the good news is, I think we might be almost there! Hope that was worth the wait. They sure as heck didn't kiss, but hey, there was a whole lot of unnecessary touching! Does Rin have an inner ear problem? Am I just a huge fan of unresolved sexual tension? The world may never know.
> 
> Next time: We might ACTUALLY get to France, R&R have a talk, Haru has a party.
> 
> Thanks again, y'all! I'm so glad to be back on [Rinning Reinbow!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQfiWFwVF8M)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr](http://gentlyusedsarcasm.tumblr.com)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/RecyclableTrash)

**Author's Note:**

> Rei actually appears in person in the next chapter, fyi. No more of this gross 99% Rin, 1% Rei business. 
> 
> Sigh. I know this is seriously sounding like Rinrei: the sitcom, but I swear there's gonna be an actual plot/conflict. Also, I don't wanna say the rest of the chapters will be this long, but they probably will be, since my editing skills are a solid zero. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr @Recyclable-Trash, where literally nothing happens.


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